Are you mama
55 Best Yo Mama Jokes of All Time — Best Life
Before we begin, we want to make it perfectly clear that we have nothing against your mother. We've never met the woman, but she sounds like an upstanding person and a nurturing, wonderful parent. All of the jokes you're about to read are most definitely not about your beloved mom, who is beyond reproach and the best human being who ever existed. To be honest, we're not even sure why we're publishing all of these yo mama jokes. If you ask us, these kinds of yo mama jokes are old, cheap, and overused.
Just like yo mama!
Sorry, sorry, that was too easy. But that's what happens when the topic of yo mama jokes come up. You feel strangely compelled to say things that no mature adult would ever say out loud about another person's mother. What kind of monster would do such a thing? Well, according to a 2017 study from the Medical University of Vienna, it might mean that you're intelligent. That's right, enjoying humor that's dark, offensive, and really, really rude — i. e. every "Yo Mama" joke ever written — could indicate a higher-than-usual IQ. As long as it's clearly meant as a joke, and you never try to make a convincing case to a pal why his mama is so ugly. There's a big difference between being funny and being a jerk.
Here are 55 of our favorite Yo Mama jokes, sorted by every category you could possibly want. Share them at your own risk. And if yo mama asks, no, we weren't talking about her.
READ THIS NEXT: 183 Jokes For Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun.
Best yo mama so fat jokes- Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
- Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
- Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.
- Yo mama's so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.
- Yo mama's so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
- Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said: "To be continued."
- Yo mama's so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.
- Yo mama's so fat, when she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
- Yo mama's so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she's known as the Republic of Yo Mama.
- Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND the house.
- Yo mama's so fat, her car has stretch marks.
- Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
- Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
- Yo mama's so fat, if she was a Star Wars character, her name would be Admiral Snackbar.
- Yo mama's so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
- Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at a cup of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."
- Yo mama's so stupid when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.
- Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
- Yo mama's so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
- Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
- Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
- Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
- Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it
- Yo mama's so stupid when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
- Yo mama's so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
- Yo mama's so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
- Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death.
- Yo mama's so stupid, when I said, "Drinks on the house," she got a ladder.
- Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
- Yo mama's so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.
- Yo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
- Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.
- Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama's so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
- Yo mama's so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.
- Yo mama's teeth are so yellow when she smiles at traffic, it slows down.
- Yo mama's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
- Yo mama's so ugly, when she was little, she had to trick-or-treat by phone.
- Yo mama's so ugly, her birth certificate is an apology letter.
- Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and was arrested for mooning.
- Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
- Yo mama's so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.
- Yo mama's cooking so nasty, she flys got together and fixed the hole in the window screen.
- Yo mama's so depressing, blues singers come to visit her when they've got writer's block.
- Yo mama's so short, you can see her feet on her driver's license.
- Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
- Yo mama so big, her belt size is "equator."
- Yo mama's so classless, she's a Marxist utopia.
- Yo mama so short, she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work.
- Yo mama so scary, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
- Yo mama's so nasty, they used to call them jumpolines 'til yo mama bounced on one.
- Yo mama's teeth so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter.
- Yo mama's so poor, Nigerian princes wire her money.
- Yo mama so dumb, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.
- Yo mama's so lazy, she stuck her nose out the window and let the wind blow it.
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Which Pixar cartoon mother are you according to your zodiac sign? Find yours and find out what kind of mother you will become!
Aries - Imelda ("Coco's Secret", 2017)
Aries mothers are very militant, passionate and active natures. Such people will not be included in the parent committee - they organize it themselves. Optimists in life, they will teach this wonderful quality to children. Nevertheless, "fiery" mothers are very domineering, so it can be difficult not to break under their pressure.
Taurus — Coco's Mom ("Coco's Secret", 2017)
Coco's mom, like a real Taurus, strives for peace and stability. Due to her resilience, she rarely gets upset and does not fall into tantrums - which is why in the cartoon everyone loves her and takes advantage of her care. Taurus are really devoted to their family, but they rarely trust strangers, always relying on intuition. The problem with this zodiac sign is fixation on stability, which can deprive them of adventure.
Gemini — Queen Elinor (“Brave”, 2012)
Gemini is able to change, demonstrating diametrically opposite sides of their personality. This shows the mother of Princess Merida, who can be a smart and flexible ruler - or can turn into a bear that instills fear in everyone. In human form, the Gemini mothers are very devoted to their family and are always ready to be the first to come to the rescue.
Cancer — Daniella Paguro (Luka, 2021)
The mother of the protagonist, like all Cancers, is very caring and very emotional when it comes to her beloved child. And also - he is overly worried about his child, often bringing his overprotection to the point of absurdity. In fact, under the excitement lies not only a fear for the safety of children, but also a desire for them to live the most wonderful life.
Leo - Elastica (The Incredibles, 2004)
Helen Parr, the mother of a family of superheroes, does not seek attention - it finds Helen itself, and this is her lion nature. Lions are always in great demand and always in the center of events. At the same time, representatives of this zodiac sign, like no one else, are able to find a balance between their stellar activities and their family, while remaining touchingly caring towards their children.
Virgo - Mrs. Davis (Toy Story, 1995)
Virgo - guardians of order and cleanliness. That’s exactly what Andy’s mom from Toy Story is like, who, as soon as she feels anxious, tries to get her son to clean his room. Moms like Mrs. Davis calm down when they focus on the little things and control all the details. And they are also secretly sad that their children are growing up quickly, and they want cute babies to stay that way forever.
Libra - Queen ("The Adventures of Flick", 1998)
The queen from Flick's Adventure tries to help her daughter Ata, who is to inherit the throne. Thanks to her sociable nature and sense of humor, she distracts Ata and instills confidence in her - in a word, she does everything that a typical Libra mother would do. Representatives of this zodiac sign always try to be fair and friendly and it is easy to find a common language with them - so you can not be afraid of the conflict of "fathers and children".
Scorpio - Grandma Wu (I'm Blushing, 2022)
Grandma Wu is hard to please. She seems very mysterious, aloof and even a little scary - that's how Scorpios seem to us. However, mothers of this zodiac sign have a lot of positive qualities: they are decisive, courageous, always know what to do, and have a strong maternal intuition. The only problem is that secretive Scorpios cannot always express their feelings.
Sagittarius - Jenny (Finding Dory, 2016)
Sagittarius mothers may be accused of being careless with their children, but in fact they are one of the few who give offspring real freedom. So, Jenny accidentally breaks up with Dory, and thereby opens up prospects for her to learn a lot of new things. And Sagittarians are very cheerful and spontaneous, which does not prevent them from being considered one of the most intelligent signs of the Zodiac.
Capricorn - Ming Li (“I'm Blushing”, 2022)
Ming Li is a typical Capricorn who works hard and it is very important for him to be an authority among other people. In caring for loved ones, Capricorns know no boundaries - for example, Ming Li is overprotective of his teenage daughter. At the same time, representatives of this zodiac sign are best at doing something for themselves - so Min gradually learns to “let go” of Mei and listen to himself more, trying to achieve balance.
Aquarius - Laurel Lightfoot ("Onward", 2020)
Laurel Lightfoot is a kind and eccentric person who always protects her beloved sons. Like all Aquarians, she sees things differently than most people, and therefore is very inventive - for example, in how to cheer her sons up. Laurel is smart, optimistic and very sociable, which is common to all signs of the air element. At the same time, she can suddenly withdraw into herself and be an introvert - at such moments, it is better for children not to disturb their mother.
Pisces - Jill Andersen ("Inside Out", 2015)
Riley's mom manages to tune into her daughter's wavelength to find out why she has changed since moving in. This is how Pisces mothers behave, who always try to get into emotional contact with their children. Such women raise their offspring with wisdom and are always ready to listen to the child, without judging or teaching him.
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- Full text of the poem - Here again I remembered you, mother
Literature
Catalog of poems
Yaroslav Smelyakov - poems
Yaroslav Smelyakov
Here again I remembered you, mother
Here again I remembered you, mother
and your eyes full of tears,
and panama
, familiar from childhood, on a wreath of thinning hair. Sets off patience and affection
darkened in the battles of Moscow
the helmet of the maternal army -
decoration of a gray head.
alien batteries invariably hit you,
got stuck in your clothes. You mended them, my mother,
but they are still visible to me,
these rough long scars -
merciless marks of war ... Give me, dear, I will kiss,
breathing hotly from excitement,
this poor gray strand
and a shoulder hit by a bullet. In the days when we swallowed smoke
from the windows of wagon cars
and considered our hauls
along the roads to our trenches, like sculptures from wind and steel,
on on the slopes of the railways
day and night
battalions of gray-haired mothers stood incessantly. I don’t know what differences,
I don’t know how to separate you: villages of relatives
and babies in fragile beds
and soldiers in their graves. There is no more and no need for separation,
and I hold in my palm
these dear difficult hands,
like the hands of my Russia.On mother
Soviet
Poems by Yaroslav Smelyakova - about mother
Poems by Yaroslav Smelyakova - Soviet
Other verses of this author
Good girl Lida
Along small houses of white
Acacia Acacia Acacia Acacia Acacia Acacia Bulk Acacia stuff.
Woman
If I get sick, I won't go to the doctors
If I get sick,
I won't go to the doctors,
Soviet
Katyusha
Farewell, dear Katyusha.
I'm sad if in between cases
About a woman
I'll write you poems like this
I'll write you poems like this
which Russia has never heard before.
About love
History
Both contemporaries and shadows
talk to me in silence.
Soviet
Mother
Good mother. Good, cordial.
Come to it - Crowned and Affected -
Soviet
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