Funny pirate song

We stumbled upon this little ditty while doing research on the Net in regards to seminal pirate songs. While we're not terribly familiar with the work of The Arrogant Worms we couldn't help but smile at their chutzpah. I mean who would have thought there'd be pirates in Canada? Not us, that's for sure. Then again the pirate spirit has the uncanny ability of manifesting itself anywhere it damn well pleases, Canada included.

Based on the first verse and chorus, this song is about a chap who just couldn't take it anymore. Instead of telling his bosses to take their job and shove it, he decided he'd shove it to the man, pirate style.

"The Last Saskatchewan Pirate" excerpt:
Well, I used to be a farmer and I made a living fine/I had a little stretch of land along the C. P. line/But times got tough, and though I tried, the money wasn't there/The bankers came and took my land and told me, "Fair is fair"/I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no/"Hire you now?" they'd always laugh, "We just let twenty go!" (Ha ha!)/The government, they promised me a measly little sum/But I've got too much pride to end up just another bum/Then I thought, who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone/I'm gonna be a pirate on the river Saskatchewan! (Arr!)

{Refrain:}

And it's a heave (ho!) hi (ho!), coming down the plains/

Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains/And it's a ho (hey!) hi (hey!), farmers bar yer doors/When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores…

9. "Captain Kidd" - traditional

Within the annals of pirate lore William Kidd ranks up there with the best of them. A one time pirate hunter, Kidd eventually turned coat and became a pirate himself. This song touches upon the act of murder he committed when he killed his gunner William Moore during a mutiny. Kidd himself was hanged as a pirate in 1701.

"Captain Kidd" excerpt:
My name is William Kidd, as I sailed, as I sailed/My name is William Kidd, as I sailed/ My name is William Kidd, God's laws I did forbid/ And most wickedly I did, as I sailed, as I sailed…

…Oh, I murdered William Moore, as I sailed, as I sailed/ I murdered William Moore, as I sailed/ I murdered William Moore and I left him in his gore/ Many leagues from shore, as I sailed, as I sailed

Oh, I steered from sound to sound, as I sailed, as I sailed/Oh I steered from sound to sound, as I sailed/ I steered from sound to sound, and many ships I found/And all of them I burned as I sailed, as I sailed…

8. "The Pirate King" - from The Pirates of Penzance

Easily one of the most successful and long-running of all stage musicals, Gilbert & Sullivan's classic The Pirates of Penzance first appeared in December of 1879. One of the signature songs from the opera was none other than "The Pirate King." The following except sums it all up:

"The Pirate King" excerpt:
Oh, better far to live and die/Under the brave black flag I fly,/Than play a sanctimonious part,/With a pirate head and a pirate heart./Away to the cheating world go you,/Where pirates all are well-to-do;/But I'll be true to the song I sing,/And live and die a Pirate King.

For I am a Pirate King!/And it is, it is a glorious thing/ To be a Pirate King!/For I am a Pirate King!...

7. "Shiver Me Timbers" & "Professional Pirate" - both culled from Muppets Treasure Island

There once was a time that the Muppets ruled the world. During that time they saw fit to crank out a pirate movie, aptly titled Muppets Treasure Island. True to form, the film contained a number of jolly and raucous musical bits, chief amongst them the "classic" pirate yarns "Shiver Me Timbers" and "Professional Pirate". Here's a brief lyrical sample of each:

"Shiver My Timbers" lyrical excerpt:
Shiver My Timbers, shiver My Soul/Yo Ho He Ho/There are men whos hearts as black as coal

And they sailed there ship across the ocean blue/A Blood thirsty captain and a cut throat crew./Its a darker tale as was ever told/Of a lust for treasure and a love of gold.../

Shiver My Timbers, Shiver my sides/Yo ho he ho/

There are hungers as strong as the winds and tides/Yo ho he ho/

And those bucaneers drowned there sins in rum,/The devil himself would have to call em scum!/Every man on board would have killed his mate for a bag of ginnys or a piece of eight, a piece of eight, a piece of eight/5 6 7 8…

"Professional Pirate" lyrical excerpt:
When I was just a lad looking for my true vocation/

My father said "Now son, this choice deserves deliberation/ Though you could be a doctor or perhaps a financier/ My boy why not consider a more challenging career"/ Hey ho ho/ You'll cruise to foreign shores/ And you'll keep your mind and body sound/ By working out of doors/ True friendship and adventure are what we can't live without/ And when you're a professional pirate/ That's what the job's about…

6. "Lincoln Park Pirates" - Steve Goodman

Folk singer Goodman penned this wonderful urban update on the pirate mythos back in the early '70s and it appeared on his second studio album, Somebody Else's Troubles.

"Lincoln Park Pirates" excerpt:
The streetlamps are on in Chicago tonight,/

And lovers a'gazin' at stars;/The stores are all closin', and Daley is dozin',/And the fat man is counting the cars.../And there's more cars than places to put 'em, he says,/But I've got room for them all;/So 'round 'em up boys, 'cause I want some more toys,/In the lot by the grocery store.../

To me, way, hey, tow them away,/The Lincoln Park Pirates are we,/From Wilmette to Gary, there's nothin' so hairy/

And we always collect our fee!/So it's way, hey, tow 'em away,/We plunder the streets of your town,/Be it Edsel or Chevy, there's no car too heavy,/And no one can make us shut down…

5. "Yo Ho A Pirate's Life For Me" - traditional

Practically every kid on the block knows the refrain "Yo ho, yo ho! A Pirate's life for me!" It's engrained in the collective consciousness like a nursery rhyme gone awry. Because of this, it makes our list without question.

"Yo Ho A Pirate's Life For Me" excerpt:
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle and loot./Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!/We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot./Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!

Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A pirate's life for me.

We extort, we pilfer, we filch and sack./Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!/Maraud and embezzle and even hijack./

Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!...

4. "Jolly Roger" - Roger McGuinn

Best known as the founder and frontman of legendary folk rockers The Byrds, McGuinn recorded an entire album seemingly dedicated to the rolling lifestyle of the open sea. Appropriately titled Cardiff Rose features a number of pirate inclined tunes including "Jolly Roger." The title tune, however, deserves notable mention due to the mythological references of a great ship.

"Cardiff Rose" excerpt:
The sun came up on the Spanish sea/ Our homeland far behind us/ Being junted by the King's Navy/ It's sure he'd never find us/ Pull away, me lads o' the Cardiff Rose/ And hoist the Jolly Roger/

We brought her into the looward wind/ And made for the Caribbean/ For thoughts of what it might have been/ Destroys a human bein'/

But thoughts about the Spaniards' gold/

And learnin' to desire it/Can make a man so brash and bold/ He'll soon become a pirate/Pull away, me lads o' the Cardiff Rose/ And hoist the Jolly Roger…

3. "Professor Booty" - Beastie Boys

Any song that begins with the little verbal question: "Professor, what's another name for Pirate treasure?" and is immediately followed by "Booty, booty…" is an instant classic. From a literal standpoint the song itself has little to do with pirates, but take one gander at the third verse and you can see that it embodies the pirate spirit on full-tilt:

"Professor Booty" excerpt:
So many wack M.C.'s/You get the T.V. bozack/Ain't even gonna call out your names/ 'Cause you're so wack/But one big oaf whose faker than plastic/A dictionary definition of the word spastic/You should have never started something/That you couldn't finish/'Cause writin' rhymes to me/Is like Popeye to spinach/I'm bad ass move your fat ass/'Cause you're wack son/Dancin' around like you think you're Janet Jackson…

2. "The Gruesome Death Of Edward Teach" - Scissorfight

Who would have thought that a punk outfit from New Hampshire would craft one of the more memorable odes to pirate yore? Taking the legendary Blackbeard as their subject matter, Scissorfight (Ironlung, Octocock, Jarvis, Kevin) kick out the jams with this little ditty. Sludgy and ominous, thanks to vocalist Ironlung's (a pirate name if ever there was one!) lumbering, juggernaut vocals and the rest of the band's steamroller on Quaaludes musical accompaniment, this song rumbles forth like an underwater dirge, toiling with salty froth and crashing waves on slo-mo menace.

1. "15 Men On A Dead Man's Chest" - traditional

Often confused with "Yo Ho A Pirate's Life For Me" (due to the "yo ho ho" chorus, no doubt) "Fifteen Men On A Dead Man's Chest" immediately conjures up images of scruffy bearded scallywags regaling in nefarious behavior of a cutthroat nature. It's a classic, a pure sing-a-long favorite, especially after imbibing in copious amounts of rum (or some other such pirate fancying beverage), a timeless number that never goes out of style.

"Fifteen Men On A Dead Man's Chest" excerpt:
Fifteen men on a dead man's chest/Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum/Drink and the devil had done for the rest/Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. /The mate was fixed by the bosun's pike/The bosun brained with a marlinspike/And cookey's throat was marked belike/It had been gripped by fingers ten;/And there they lay, all good dead men/Like break o'day in a boozing ken/Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum…

Comic songs about pirates and the sea.

Comic songs about pirates and the sea.

BLACK GALLEO.

The south wind blows
the galleon's sails,
The
Horizon strip burns with a bright glow.

I hear the cries of the crew:
"From the right side of the frigate!"
Come on guys,
Raise the black flag.

And our sinister ship,
Seeing an easy target,
Loads cannonballs into cannons,
Rushing through the waves like a shadow. nine0005

Pirates are grinning together,
Courage is spinning,
And, clinging to the ropes,
We are boarding!

Black flag!
Strong rum!
We live only by this!
Clash of rapiers!
Wind howl!
We are playing with fate!

A lot of gold and women
We got this time,
And our holds are full,
The frame is cracking at the seams.

I barked loudly at the team:
“We are heading for a secret port!”
Let's take the prey there
And wash our campaign. nine0005

Everyone hit the mugs,
The wine flowed like a river,
The boatswain hit the coke in the face,
Because the soup is bad.

The skipper is drinking from three bottles,
A parrot is sitting on him,
On the beach, the crew is drinking
Black rum without snacks.

Black flag!
Strong rum!
We live only by this!
Clash of rapiers!
Wind howl!
We are playing with fate!

I woke my eyes from a hangover,
I threw off the navigator,
And cast a cloudy look
I am a picture of life. nine0005

The skipper roasts a parrot,
The boatswain and the cook are sleeping together,
Only it's not very clear,
What happened to the ship.

“Now this island is inhabited”, I. Vinnik, A.Vievsky
Monologue of the pilot pirate schooner “The Ninth Wave”, which suffered an unwrecked shipwreck near a barn.

Now this island is inhabited,
and earlier - well, literally no one...
On the third day they ate a parrot -
found a piastres in its belly. nine0005

And for the fifth year we've all been playing the toss,
we've been playing our "Ninth Wave"...
Yesterday they beat coca bottles on the forecastle,
but he never gave up the mooring lines...

Our boatswain had a knack for preference,
a
he owes me a tattoo from my chest
and two Alexandrian lighthouses;

And our captain, from excitement, blue
curses my luck with all his might:
he owes me twelve water lines,
bomb-bramsel , shrouds, anchor and latrine

The toss is tired - well, okay:
I won all the cargo and rigging;
now, having split into two, the team of
is playing boarding under the palm trees. ..

Eternal stars twinkled in the sky,
the surf caressed the remains of the ship...
And we again found out to the point of wheezing,
what a bastard shouted - “Earth! »

Ilya Vinnik
About the origin of some traditions.

Probably, someone thinks that he was joking,
Cogla called our black flag "Jolly Roger". nine0011 But we remember well what our Roger was:
He was a bore of bores, a slob of sluts.

For four years he sailed on our ship with a cook
And he never took off his black apron either at night or during the day,
But he got lazy in the end and fed us so badly,
That he even served fish to the table almost alive.

“Pretty Gypsy” swims, “Pretty Gypsy” is in a hurry,
Pushing the waves with a mighty stern;
From Brighton to Tiksi everyone knows our "Gypsy"
And that's why they bypass the beauty. nine0005

But one morning in a dead calm, in the La Perouse Strait
During breakfast, we had an embarrassment:
When our skipper caught a jellyfish in his ear,
He immediately sent Roger to the bottom to feed the jellyfish;

And he ordered to raise a pirate black apron like a flag,
And he ascended to heaven like Roger's shadow.
And the skipper to Roger's honor with his usual tact
As a reminder of the ear, he came up with a fish day.

Pretty Gypsy is swimming, Pretty Gypsy is in a hurry,
Exposing your tight chest to the wind;
From Brighton to Tiksi everyone knows our "Gypsy"
And her "Jolly Roger" shows the way.

Pilot, Pirate.

Now trouble is following us everywhere,
Scuffing with his feet, breaking his crutches.
Our captain has found the wrong way,
The knife is dulling, the ship is dozing aground.

We were betrayed by a beautiful luck,
And there was no gold in the hold for a long time
Rogue rats come ashore,
A rusty anchor adorns the bottom.

If you weren’t proud, if you weren’t a bitch,
I wouldn’t rave about love with a fever, I wouldn’t drink fiery water
Raising a marvelous sail in the wind, a grappling hook and a lasso,
Like our last ship on the day, on the attack the captain would lead.

Why did you cover your eyes with a veil,
Why did you drag the wind with your absurd skirt?
Looks like our ancestors told us the truth:
"Unfortunately, the girl is always on board."

Why did you fill the captain with speeches,
I touched my heart string with a smile.
She hugged her neck with swarthy hands,
She gave trick with her tail, ran away in the morning.

If you weren't proud, if you weren't a bitch,
I wouldn't rave about the fever of love, I wouldn't drink fiery water.
Lifting the marvelous sail in the wind, grappling hook and lasso,
Like our last ship on the day, the captain would lead the attack.

Pirates will search for you all over the world
With a noose around your neck they will bring you to the bridge,
For false, changeable, evil lust
Upturned on the yoke and commemorated with rum.

So that you do not beckon the heart of the brave with a lie,
Love is not a card, cheating here is not to face.
And the Jolly Roger will fly up to the main mast,
The sea will lick the heart wound of the young man.

If you weren't proud, if you weren't a bitch,
I wouldn't rave about the fever of love, I wouldn't drink fiery water.
Lifting the marvelous sail in the wind, grappling hook and lasso,
Like our last ship on the day, the captain would lead the attack.

A pirate tale about Black Bertie,
whom the gang was scared to death...

Imagine, for a moment, a pirate,
Who can't stand debauchery at all
And doesn't smoke a pipe! And he doesn't drink rum!
And does not allow others to do all this!

Such extravagant behavior,
The brave, always elegant,
And who kept his whole gang in fear,
Caribbean pirate - Robert Bartholomew became famous.

Nicknamed "Black" for his dark complexion, Bertie,
He tortured the whole gang to death with culture -
Don't play dice with him, don't get drunk
Have fun with the harbor girl.

He dares those who disobey,
Threatened to send them to hang out on the yard!
The whole gang, of course, smoked quietly,
Drank underground, took women to the ship,

But a couple of fools were caught red-handed
And, for about a week, they hung on the yoke.
Since then, the discipline has been exemplary
And the gang led a healthy lifestyle.

About pirates.

When the black flag flies on the mast,
Everyone gets goosebumps -
And the pirates have yellow pants,
And the pirates have blue suspenders!

They rob ships on Wednesdays,
And on Friday they play checkers at night -
And the pirates have yellow pants,
And the pirates have blue suspenders!

How proudly the seagulls soar over the stern
And the lemonade gurgles in the flask!
Pirates have yellow pants,
Pirates have blue suspenders! nine0005

A proud galleon carries doubloons,
A sailor on the mast eats pistachios —
But the pirates have yellow trousers,
But the pirates have blue suspenders!

The guns have been polished for a long time,
And the boatswain is stroking his shirt with a banner —
Pirates have yellow pants,
Pirates have blue suspenders!

They're going to board now,
And there they'll stuff their pockets with sweets!
Pirates have yellow pants!
Pirates have blue suspenders!

One-eyed pirate. Lyricist: Yuri Entin.

I'll wait for the golden catch!
I will find a diamond treasure!
Rogue is a nasty word!
I like the word "pirate"!
The skull and bones flaunt
We have a pirate flag.
At the sight of prey from anger
The only eye sparkles.

CHORUS:
I believe that piracy will bring me wealth!
After all, it is recognized by everyone:
Such is the time today!
Yo-ho-ho! Piracy
Will bring me wealth! nine0011 Today is the time yo-ho-ho!

I want to live in a country house
On a quiet river bank.
I suffer from heaving at sea.
And I can't swim at all.

But I, living on land,
I have a pirate outfit,
And also a pirate soul…
Pirate and on land - a pirate!

CHORUS:
I believe that piracy will bring me wealth!
After all, it is recognized by everyone:
Such is the time today!
Yo-ho-ho! Piracy
Will bring me wealth!
Today is the time yo-ho-ho! nine0011

There was a commotion on the pirate ship. ..

There was a commotion on the pirate ship
:
An old dog on a crutch -
The captain is dead.
And under the laughter of the sea wolves,
As under the roar of chimeras,

The young pioneer became their captain.

Chattering ceased
On the back of the waves.
All pirates in the morning
Wakes up a ringing bugle.
A brush in the teeth - like a knife,
Overboard - strong rum,
Saber - what can you take from it,
Scrap!

And does not rob the rich
Not a single pirate:
On his ship
Speeches are spoken.
And when all the ardor has passed,
The noise and din will subside,
The pioneer ship leads
To the bright shores.

But useful deeds
Can tire.
And the team ran away
Brew strong rum.
With a black mark on the forehead,
They drank themselves from longing.
So the pirates are on the ground
Everyone is gone.

E. Uspensky "Grandmother and granddaughter". nine0004