Funny short bedtime story for adults
Short Funny Bedtime Stories For Adults
by pankaj
This is the best Short Funny Bedtime Stories For Adults. You will definitely laugh after reading all these stories. You will surely laugh after reading all these stories. Laughing at least once every day will make us a happier person and fill us with energy and enthusiasm.
Short Funny Bedtime Stories For Adults
1. Hunters and the plane
An airplane was hired by two hunters to go to a distant forest area. After staying in the forest for a few weeks, he hunted two buffaloes. A few days later, the pilot returned to retrieve them.
After seeing their hunting trophies, the pilot said, “The aircraft will not be able to carry more than one buffalo. You will have to leave one of them.
But last year the pilot agreed to take on board two buffalos the same size as these: the hunter protested. The pilot thought about it and said: Ok If it worked the last year, it should work this time too.
The plane tried to take off with two passengers and two buffalos on board, but it was not able to reach the required height.
Also read The Magician And The Parrot
Then the plane crashed into the nearest hill. After getting out of the plane wreck the hunter looked around. One of them said to another. Where do you think we are? His friend examined the surroundings and answered: I think we are two miles south from the plane that we crashed the last time.
2. The Gambler
One married couple went to visit their friends at the other end of the country. Their friends took them to the see horse races.
Fascinated by overlooking the horses raced around the racecourse, the husband and wife were playing sweepstakes all evening, while only two dollars have left in their pocket.
The next day the husband said that he would go to the race alone. In the first race, he put two dollars on the outsider, and the horse came to the finish first.
Then he got the money to win, he put all the money in the next race and then won.
That day, he was very lucky; his winning has reached fifty-seven thousand dollars in the evening. On the way home, he saw a gambling house.
A voice comes from the gambling house telling him what kind of horse he needs to put his money on and says “come in and play”. He went in and started playing roulette.
Then the voice said: Number thirteen. He put all his fifty-seven thousand dollars into the number thirteen. When the roulette stopped, the dealer announced: Number fourteen. Also read Funny bedtime stories for kids.
He lost all his money and returned home with an empty pocket. His wife asked him as soon as he came home: How did you play? Her husband shrugs his shoulders: “I’ve lost two dollars” she said.
3. Smith and his teacher
The Teacher said to all students “Today we shall learn the basics of letter writing.” “But sir, I learned how to write letters when I was in the first standard.
Here I will show you,” Smith said. He then shows his teacher the alphabet letters. Seeing this the teacher got angry and said stupid! Not those alphabet letters. I mean writing letters to actual people to tell them about your life.
Smith said “But, sir. Why do we need letters to do that? We have Facebook!
The teacher said “you stupid keep quiet.
The teacher said “Open your notebook and write a letter to your mother about what you did in the holiday.
Smith said “But sir. I live with my grandmother she already knows what I did in the holidays.
The teacher said “Okay! Then write to your aunt telling her about your new bicycle. Smith becomes very happy and said “I am getting a new bicycle. What a great surprise. How do you know, sir?”
The teacher said “No Smith, you are not getting a new bicycle.
Smith said, “Then how can I lie to my aunt in the letter?”
The teacher said “Then just writing a letter to anybody you need to talk to! Then the last bell of the school rings.
The teacher said “Everybody, write a letter as homework and bring it tomorrow. The next day the teacher would say that everyone must have done their homework. He asked Smith to read his letter.
Smith reads his letter “Dear sir, I am writing you this letter to ask if I can write a letter to my cousin in the tinkle town. The teacher shouts loudly, stop your crap!
4.The Foolish Boy
Once upon a time there was a foolish boy named Danny. He was careless and never paid attention to his work.
One day Mr. Tim was getting his house painted. When Danny arrived at their house, he was intrigued. “Why are you getting your house painted Mr. Tim?” asked Danny as he watched.
“Because I want to make my house look beautiful.” Replied Mr. Tim and Danny continued with his day.
A few days went by and Mr. Tim had to attend an important event. As Danny was around, he asked him to dress up his youngest son. “I want him to look prim, proper and beautiful” Mr.
Tim smiled.
Now Danny was such a foolish boy, he did not consider his actions carefully. He just went and put paint all over the little boy, because Mr. Tim had said paint was making the house beautiful. This made Mr. Tim very angry.
Another day came when Mr. Steve asked Danny to run an errand for him and drop off some letters into the mail box. Danny went off early during the day, but returned in the evening with the letters still in his hand. Mr. Steve was very confused, and asked Danny why he still had the letters.
“When I went to the letter box, it was locked. I kept trying and trying to open it but I could not.”
How foolish, thought Mr. Steve. Now both Tim and Steve were cross with him.
A few days went by again, and Mr. Tim gave Danny a bottle of shampoo. Danny left it on his study table, but when he was about to go into the shower, he accidentally grabbed a bottle of glue and went in, without paying any attention.
When he came out of the shower and looked at himself in the mirror and he was shocked.
Danny began to cry seeing his hair all messed up.
When Mr. Tim came to see why Danny was crying, he began to laugh hard. Danny’s foolishness had cost him heavy this time, and he had to get his head shaved.
He was so devastated that he promised himself to be more careful.
8 Funny Short Stories (Hilarious Stories)
Although LaffGaff is mainly about short jokes, that doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy funny short stories and longer jokes too. In fact, we love them! And so here we’ve gathered our favorite funny short stories for you to enjoy.
Helicopter Ride
Walter took his wife Ethel to the state fair every year, and every time he would say to her, “Ethel, you know that I’d love to go for a ride in that helicopter.” But Ethel would always reply, “I know that Walter, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.”
Finally, they went to the fair, and Walter said to Ethel, “Ethel, you know I’m 87 years old now. If I don’t ride that helicopter this year, I may never get another chance.
” Once again Ethel replied, “Walter, you know that helicopter is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.”
This time the helicopter pilot overheard the couple’s conversation and said, “Listen folks, I’ll make a deal with you. I’ll take both of you for a ride; if you can both stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won’t charge you! But if you say just one word, it’s 50 dollars.”
Walter and Ethel agreed and up they went in the helicopter. The pilot performed all kinds of fancy moves and tricks, but not a word was said by either Walter or Ethel.
The pilot did his death-defying tricks over and over again, but still there wasn’t so much as one word said.
When they finally landed, the pilot turned to Walter and said, “Wow! I’ve got to hand it to you. I did everything I could to get you to scream or shout out, but you didn’t. I’m really impressed!”
Walter replied, “Well to be honest I almost said something when Ethel fell out but, you know, 50 dollars is 50 dollars!”
Psychic Daughter
Bill is putting his young daughter to bed one night and as he walks out the bedroom door he hears her saying her prayers.
She says, “God bless mommy, daddy, and grandma, rest in peace grandpa.”
Bill rushes back into her bedroom and asks her, “Why did you say the last part?” His daughter replies, “Because I needed to.” The next day, grandpa dies of a heart attack. Bill is worried about his daughter but thinks, “It must just be a sad coincidence.”
That night he tucks his daughter into bed again and once again he hears her saying her prayers. She says, “God bless mommy and daddy, rest in peace grandma.”
Bill is now really worried and thinking to himself, “Can my daughter really see into the future?” The next day, grandma dies and now Bill is convinced his daughter can predict the future.
For the rest of the week nothing happens, but on the Sunday night as Bill leaves his daughter’s bedroom he waits outside and listens for any more prayers.
Sure enough, he hears her say, “God bless you mommy, rest in peace daddy.” Now Bill is really panicking and thinking, ‘”Oh God, I’m going to die tomorrow!”
The following day Bill is in a complete mess all day in work; a real nervous wreck.
He constantly checks the clock, looks around the room and is on edge all the time expecting to die at any moment.
He is so nervous that he doesn’t leave the office until it’s past midnight. Once it turns midnight he says to himself with relief, “How is this possible? I should be dead!”
He goes home and walks into the house to find his wife sitting on the sofa with a scared look on her face. She asks him, “Where have you been? What took you so long?”
Bill replies, “Listen honey, today I haven’t had the best of days” and he is just about to tell her what has happened when she starts crying and bursts out, “I saw the mailman die yesterday!”
Tricky Jar
An 85-year-old man goes to see his doctor for his regular physical exam. The doctor says that the man needs to provide a sperm sample and gives him a jar saying, “Take this jar home with you and come back tomorrow with a sperm sample.”
The next day the old man goes back to the doctors and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as when the doctor gave it to him.
So the doctor asks what happened and why there is no sperm sample in the jar. The old man says, “Well, doc, it’s like this… first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand – nothing; then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Maisie, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing.”
The doctor is really shocked by all this and asks incredulously, “You asked your neighbor???”
The old man replies, “Yep, not one of us could get the jar open.”
Speeding Motorist
Late one night this guy is speeding down the empty road. A cop sees him go flying past so chases him and pulls him over. The cop goes up to the car and when the man rolls down the window, he asks, “Are you aware of how fast you were going, sir?”
The man replies, “Yes I am.
I’m trying to escape a robbery I got involved in.”
The cop looks at him disbelievingly and asks him, “Were you the one being robbed, sir?”
The man casually replies, “Oh no, I was the one who committed the robbery. I was escaping.”
The cop is shocked and surprised that the man has admitted this so freely. He says, “So you’re telling me you were speeding…AND committed a robbery?”
“Oh yes,” replies the man calmly. “I have all the loot in the back.”
The cop is now starting to get angry and says, “Sir, I’m afraid you have to come with me” as he reaches into the window to take the car keys out of the ignition.
The man shouts, “Don’t do that! I’m afraid that you’ll find the gun in my glove compartment!” At this the cop pulls his hand out of the window and says, “Wait here” as he returns to his car and calls for backup.
Soon there are cars, cops and helicopters all over, everywhere you look. The man is quickly dragged out of his car, handcuffed and taken towards a cop car.
However, just before he is put in the car and taken away a cop walks up to him and says, while pointing at the cop that pulled him over, “Sir, this officer tells us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the trunk of your car, and had a loaded gun in your glove compartment. However, we didn’t find any of these things in your car.”
The man replies, “Yeah, and I bet that liar said I was speeding too!”
Preacher’s Wife
A couple were going on a vacation together but the wife had an emergency at work. So they agreed the husband would go as planned and his wife would meet him at the hotel the next day.
When the husband got to his hotel and had checked in, he thought he should send his wife a quick email letting her know he’d got there ok.
As he typed in her email address, he made a typo and his email was sent to an elderly preacher’s wife whose instead. It just so happened that her husband had sadly died just the day before.
When the grieving old preacher’s wife checked her emails, she read the one from the holiday maker, let out an awful, loud, piercing scream, and fainted on the floor.
At the sound of her falling, her family rushed into the room. They tended to her and then looked at her computer and saw this email on her screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just checked in to my room. Everything is prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. It sure is hot down here.
Driving Test
A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and asked his Dad if he could start using the family car.
The Dad said he’d make a deal with his son, “You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little and get your hair cut. Then we’ll talk about the car”
The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he’d settle for the offer and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks, the Dad said, “Son, you’ve brought your grades up and I’ve observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I’m disappointed you haven’t had your hair cut.”
The boy said, “You know, Dad, I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ve noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there’s even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.
”
His Dad replied, “Did you also notice that they all walked everywhere they went?”
The Man With The Ostrich
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks for their orders. The guy says, “A hamburger, fries, and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?”
“I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That will be $18.40 please.”
The man reaches into his pocket and, without looking, pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the guy and the ostrich return to the same restaurant and the guy says, “A hamburger, fries, and a coke.”
The ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.”
Again the guy reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until one night they enter the restaurant and the waitress asks, “The usual?”
“No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad”, says the guy.
“Me too,” says the ostrich.
The waitress brings the order and says, “That will be $42.62.”
Once again the guy pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress can’t hold back her curiosity any longer. “Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?”
“Well,” says the guy, “several years ago I was cleaning my attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”
“That’s brilliant!” says the waitress. “Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”
“That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the guy.
The waitress asks, “But, sir, what’s with the ostrich?”
The guy sighs and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say.
”
An Expensive Suit
A man who just died is delivered to the mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit.
She gives the mortician a blank check and says, “I don’t care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.”
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.
She says to the mortician, “Whatever this cost, I’m very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I’m very grateful. How much did you spend?”
To her astonishment, the mortician presents her with the blank check. “There’s no charge,” he says.
“No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!” the woman says.
“Honestly, ma’am,” the mortician says, “It cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband’s size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice. Then it was just a matter of switching the heads.”
Funny Short Stories
If you enjoyed our collection of funny short stories, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff too for lots more really funny jokes, including these:
Tales for adults. Funny Stories #240
[b] Sister Alyonushka and brother Ivanushka [/b]
Once upon a time there was a sister Alyonushka and brother Ivanushka. Alyonushka was smart and hardworking, and Ivanushka was an alcoholic. How many times did his sister tell him - "Don't drink, Ivanushka, you'll become a kid!" But Ivanushka did not listen and drank.
Once he bought some burnt vodka in a stall, drank it and felt that he could no longer stand on two legs, he had to lower himself by four points. And just then the shameful wolves come up to him and say: "Well, the goat, did you drink it?". And so they slapped
he's on the horns that he threw back his hooves...
And his sister Alyonushka got his apartment, because good always triumphs over evil!
[b]Arabian folk tale "Ilyich and Aladdin"[/b]
In a certain sultanate, in a certain emirate Aladdin lived. Once he found an old lamp in a landfill and decided to clean it. As soon as he began to rub, a genie came out of the lamp, and let's fulfill wishes. Well, Aladdin himself, of course, ordered the palace
, to marry the princess, the magic carpet is the six hundredth and all. In short, since then, all Aladdin's problems have become a light bulb. Just a little - rub and dictate the conditions to the genie. And then one day he went on a cruise, and left his wife at home.
A
there is a man walking down the street and shouting - "I am changing old lamps for new ones!"
Well, the wife was delighted and changed Aladdin's lamp to Ilyich's lamp. And how much later Aladdin did not rub this light bulb, Ilyich did not get out of there and did not fulfill his desire. This is how technological progress defeated the backward Asian superstitions.
[b]A joint French-Russian fairy tale about patriotism[/b]
Father Dubois had three sons: the elder Jacques, the middle Jules and the younger Zhandurak.
It's time for them to get married. They went out to the Champs Elysees and began to shoot in different directions. Jacques hit the deputy of the National Assembly, but he was already married. nine0005 Jules got into the cure, but religion does not allow him to marry.
And Jean the Fool hit a frog, and in fact he didn’t hit that one, but missed. The frog tried to explain to him in Russian that she was in fact a princess, and turned into a frog,
so that she would not stand for a visa at the embassy, but Jean was French and did not understand Russian.
He cooked a frog according to an old recipe and became a chef at the
restaurant in Paris.
Moral: sit, girls, in your native swamp and don't croak. There is nothing for you to do on the Champs Elysees. And we have enough fools at home. nine0003
[b]About the tail[/b]
Once a fox stole a whole load of fish from a man. Sits and eats. And a hungry wolf comes out of the forest. "Fox, give me fish!" "Go and catch it yourself," the fox replies. "But how? I don't even have a fishing rod," says the wolf. “I don’t have it either,” said the fox, “but I threw my tail into the hole, so I caught it.” "Here, thanks for the idea!" - the wolf was delighted, tore off the tail of the fox and went fishing.
[b]Seaside folk tale about the Old Man and the Golden Fish[/b]
There lived an old man with his old woman near the blue sea. The old man threw a net into the sea, a net came, and there - a pike. “What’s the matter?” the old man was surprised. “It seems like there should be a goldfish.
I’m not Emelya, after all.” "That's right," the pike replied. "The goldfish and I have been working in the same sector of the market for a long time.
And just recently, an agreement was reached at the board of directors on the takeover of one enterprise by another." And the pike burped satiated.
he had his own business, his own clientele, and there was only one assistant, and that one was a bullshit. But nothing, the priest coped. Especially since the assistant worked literally for so long - well, bullshit, what can you say. However, even
and the bulldozer ran out of patience. “Master,” he says, “when are you going to pay?”
And pop him and replies: "Go to hell!". Well, the bastard went. And he sold all the trade secrets of the priest to the devil. The devil then enticed all the clients from the priest, and he went bankrupt. And serve him right. Because the staff needs to be paid on time, and not wait,
until they click on your forehead.
[b]Petersburg folk tale about a smart old woman[/b]
A soldier was walking home from service.
He knocked on the way to a house. "Let me go," he says, "to spend the night, masters." And in the house lived a greedy old woman. "Spend the night, sleep," she said, "only I have nothing to treat you with." "It doesn't matter," the soldier answered, "just give me an ax, and I'll cook porridge out of it." "What are you,
soldier, - the old woman was indignant, - do you think I'm completely stupid? What will I chop wood with then?" So the soldier remained without salty slurping. And his name, by the way, was Rodion Raskolnikov.
organize a joint venture with a bear. "What are we going to do?" - asks the bear. "This year - to grow wheat," the man answers. "But how to divide?" "- the bear agreed. They grew wheat, the peasant took all the tops for himself, sold, sits and rejoices, counts money ... And then
a bear came and brought his roots ...
[b] Moscow folk tale about money and whistling [/b]
Somehow the Nightingale the Robber wanted to get gold and silver.
He went to Koshchei the Deathless to offer security services. Koschei got angry, unleashed an unclean force on him - the Nightingale left a little alive. Then he went to Zmey Gorynych to demand a ransom of 90,005. The Serpent was angry, blazed with fire - the Nightingale barely carried his legs. He is sad, he sees - towards Baba Yaga. He thought at least to get money from her, but Yaga departed with a bone leg so that the white light became not nice to the Nightingale. He cried then0005 is bitter, and Yaga took pity on him.
- Go, - she said, - to the road, and hide there in the green bushes. As you envy a traveler - whistle with all your might, he will give you money.
The Nightingale listened to the advice of the wise, but since then he has not known the need. That's how traffic cops started up in Rus'.
[b] A medical folk tale about Koshchei and a healthy lifestyle. [/b]
Ivan Tsarevich married a stupid frog ... no, not like that. Ivan the Fool married the frog princess, and she ran away from him with Koshchei.
Ivan was offended and decided to kill Koshchei. How long, how short Ivan walked around the world - he came to Baba Yaga. nine0005 - Where are you going, good fellow? Yaga asks.
- Well, grandmother, you didn’t get drunk - you didn’t feed, but you ask? Ivan says.
- You are a fool, a fool, - replies Yaga. How can I feed you if you haven't washed your hands?
Ivan washed his hands, told Yaga about his misfortune. And Yaga answered him:
- The death of Koshcheev is in the needle, the needle is in the egg, the egg is in the duck, and the duck in hospital number 8 is under the bed.
Ivan went to hospital #8, found a duck, broke an egg and put Koshchei on a needle. This is where Koshchei ends. Drug addiction, it does not bring anyone to good. nine0003
[b]Spanish folk tale about the sleeping beauty.[/b]
Once upon a time there was a king and a queen, and their daughter was born. And they arranged a ball, and invited everyone there, except for the most harmful fairy, because they knew that she would come anyway.
The most harmful fairy came and said: "Are you happy? Well, well. But when
princess turns 18, she will become a drug addict and inject herself with such a dose that she will pass out and not wake up." The princess turned 18 years old, she became a drug addict, injected herself and did not come to her senses. And the king and queen, courtiers
and the servants took a sedative out of grief and also passed out. And gradually all the roads to the castle were overgrown with a dense forest. A hundred years later, a handsome prince rode past and asked what kind of reserve it was. The good people told him the whole story and added that only then would the princess come out of the blackout when the handsome prince kissed her. The prince bravely rode through the dense forest, entered the castle, took the key to the treasury from the king's neck, loaded all the gold and diamonds on his horse and rode back. And he didn't kiss the princess, no. In fact, why does he need a drug addict? nine0003
[b]Frog Marriage[/b]
In a certain kingdom, in a certain state, a father had three sons - two stupid ones, and the third was none at all.
The father decided to marry them. He took me out into the yard and ordered to shoot whoever hit where. The first son fired - hit the air. The second shot -
hit the police. The third shot - hit the headstock. Father spat in his hearts, gave each a frog and went to sleep. And what kind of frog gender, and did not check ... In general, it turned out badly.
[b]
Danish folk tale about the little mermaid[/b]
Once upon a time there was a little mermaid somewhere in the outback. And she wanted to be a pop star. She went to the witch.
- This can be arranged, - says the witch, - only you will give me your vote.
- No problem, - the little mermaid answers, - why do I need it? You, most importantly, make your legs longer.
- Okay, - the witch agreed, - just keep in mind, if you don't unwind, you will become sea foam.
And what do you think, did it become foam? No matter how! For a month now, he has been holding the top lines in the charts. And this is no longer a fairy tale, but the harsh truth of life.
..
[b]
Administrative folk tale about a traveling frog[/b]
Once upon a time there was a frog. She lived in her swamp and saw nothing but mud. And her duck neighbors traveled abroad every year. Well, the frog, of course, also wanted to, so she persuaded the ducks to take her with them. She clung to the twig with her mouth
, and the ducks picked it up with their beaks and flew away. And from below, the heron looks and is surprised: "Wow, what smart ducks! They came up with such a method of transportation!"
"It's not ducks, I'm smart!" - shouted the frog and fell back into the swamp. Then the heron ate it. Moral: we, of course, have freedom of speech, but if you want to fly high, keep your mouth shut. And they won't eat it. nine0003
[b]
Administrative folk tale "Winnie the Pooh and all-all-all"[/b]
Somehow they appointed Winnie the Pooh in the forest to manage the economy. He took Eeyore and Piglet as his deputies. And he put Rabbit to work, because he is the smartest.
But no matter how hard the Rabbit tried, under the leadership of Winnie the Pooh, the economy still fell apart. They began looking for the culprit. Went to Winnie the Pooh. He says, "What about me? Look at my deputies - one donkey, the other a pig!"
They come to Eeyore and Piglet. They say, "What about us? Look at our boss - he has sawdust in his head!" In general, in the end, the Rabbit was given in the ears. And everyone else was given a hat. From rabbit fur. 9 more about it0005 wrote a play, "Woe from Wit" is called.
[b]Untitled[/b]
There lived a king and his queen near the blue sea. They lived and lived, but they had no children. And the king says to the queen:
- Bake me, queen, a gingerbread man!
- Completely fucked up, or what? the queen answers. - What am I to you, cook?
- Oh, you, - the king was offended, - but I took you as a simple Cinderella, shod and dressed you, brought you into people ...
And the fairy tale does not end here at all.
Their fairy tale ended on the second day after the wedding ...
Funny Tales
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Once upon a time there was a Bunny and a Squirrel. They were friends, they loved each other. Somehow the Bunny suggests:
- Squirrel, let's live together, get married.
- How so, because you are a Bunny, and I am a Squirrel.
- The power of our love is beyond stereotypes and species-racial considerations, Squirrel. nine0005 They began to live as a family, and there is love, and understanding, and there is sex. There are just no children. They got sad. Bunny says:
- Do we really not have children because I am a Bunny, and you are a Squirrel? How so? Let's go to Owl, she's smart, she knows everything.
They came to the Owl and the Bunny says:
- Owl, tell me why we don't have children? Because we are Bunny and Squirrel?
- Are you crazy or what? You don't have children because you are a boy and he is also a boy!
There lived an old man and an old woman near Lake Chad.
The old man went fishing. The first time I threw poison curare - only toads surfaced. The second time he threw poison curare - only crocodiles surfaced. The third time I threw poison to the curare - the Golden Piranha surfaced and wanted to say, they say, let me go old, I will fulfill three cherished desires, but I couldn’t, because I was paralyzed. The old man returned to the old woman with prey, the old woman was delighted, they salted the toads for the winter, they dried the crocodiles for the summer, and they immediately ate the Golden Piranha right raw. Thus, all three wishes were fulfilled by themselves. nine0003
Once upon a time there was sister Alyonushka and brother Ivanushka. Alyonushka was smart and hardworking, and Ivanushka was an alcoholic. How many times did his sister tell him - “Don’t drink, Ivanushka, you will become a kid!” But Ivanushka did not listen and drank. Once he bought some singed vodka in a stall, drank it and felt that he could no longer stand on two legs, he had to lower himself by four points.
And just then the shameful wolves come up to him and say: “Well, the goat, did you drink it?”. And so they hit him on the horns that he threw back his hooves ...
And his sister Alyonushka got his apartment, because good always triumphs over evil!
Bear's hut
- Who ate from my plate? Father Bear asks menacingly.
- And who ate from my plate? the eldest son asks.
– And who ate from my plate? - squeaks the youngest son.
- You fools, I haven't poured you yet. - answers the bear.
A soldier was walking home from service. He knocked on the way to a house. “Let me in,” he says, “to spend the night, masters.” And in the house lived a greedy old woman. “Spend the night, sleep,” she said, “only I have nothing to treat you with.” “It doesn’t matter,” the soldier replied, “just give me an ax, and I’ll cook porridge out of it.” “What are you, a soldier,” the old woman was indignant, “do you think I’m completely stupid? What am I going to chop wood with later? So the soldier remained without salty slurping.
