Is your momma a

55 Best Yo Mama Jokes of All Time — Best Life

Before we begin, we want to make it perfectly clear that we have nothing against your mother. We've never met the woman, but she sounds like an upstanding person and a nurturing, wonderful parent. All of the jokes you're about to read are most definitely not about your beloved mom, who is beyond reproach and the best human being who ever existed. To be honest, we're not even sure why we're publishing all of these yo mama jokes. If you ask us, these kinds of yo mama jokes are old, cheap, and overused.

Just like yo mama!

Sorry, sorry, that was too easy. But that's what happens when the topic of yo mama jokes come up. You feel strangely compelled to say things that no mature adult would ever say out loud about another person's mother. What kind of monster would do such a thing? Well, according to a 2017 study from the Medical University of Vienna, it might mean that you're intelligent. That's right, enjoying humor that's dark, offensive, and really, really rude — i. e. every "Yo Mama" joke ever written — could indicate a higher-than-usual IQ. As long as it's clearly meant as a joke, and you never try to make a convincing case to a pal why his mama is so ugly. There's a big difference between being funny and being a jerk.

Here are 55 of our favorite Yo Mama jokes, sorted by every category you could possibly want. Share them at your own risk. And if yo mama asks, no, we weren't talking about her.

1. Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
2. Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
3. Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.
4. Yo mama's so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.
5. Yo mama's so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
6. Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said: "To be continued."
7. Yo mama's so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.
8. Yo mama's so fat, when she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
9. Yo mama's so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she's known as the Republic of Yo Mama.
10. Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND the house.
11. Yo mama's so fat, her car has stretch marks.
12. Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
13. Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
14. Yo mama's so fat, if she was a Star Wars character, her name would be Admiral Snackbar.
15. Yo mama's so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

16. Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at a cup of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."
17. Yo mama's so stupid when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.
18. Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
19. Yo mama's so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
20. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
21. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
22. Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
23. Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it
24. Yo mama's so stupid when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
25. Yo mama's so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
26. Yo mama's so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
27. Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death.
28. Yo mama's so stupid, when I said, "Drinks on the house," she got a ladder.
29. Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
30. Yo mama's so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.

31. Yo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
32. Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.
33. Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
34. Yo mama's so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
35. Yo mama's so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.
36. Yo mama's teeth are so yellow when she smiles at traffic, it slows down.
37. Yo mama's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
38. Yo mama's so ugly, when she was little, she had to trick-or-treat by phone.
39. Yo mama's so ugly, her birth certificate is an apology letter.
40. Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and was arrested for mooning.

41. Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
42. Yo mama's so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.
43. Yo mama's cooking so nasty, she flys got together and fixed the hole in the window screen.
44. Yo mama's so depressing, blues singers come to visit her when they've got writer's block.
45. Yo mama's so short, you can see her feet on her driver's license.
46. Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
47. Yo mama so big, her belt size is "equator."
48. Yo mama's so classless, she's a Marxist utopia.
49. Yo mama so short, she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work.
50. Yo mama so scary, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
51. Yo mama's so nasty, they used to call them jumpolines 'til yo mama bounced on one.
52. Yo mama's teeth so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter.
53. Yo mama's so poor, Nigerian princes wire her money.
54. Yo mama so dumb, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.
55. Yo mama's so lazy, she stuck her nose out the window and let the wind blow it.

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Is Your Mama A Llama?

By: Deborah Guarino

Summary:

Lloyd the baby llama asks different animals if their Mama is a llama. He asks duck, cow, and seal. They give him hints of what their mom looks like. The hints help him see that their mom is not his mom. In the end he does find his mama llama.

Reader Enjoyment Factors:

This is an easy, fun book to share. It is an entertaining way to teach kids about animals. It is a loving story, with fun rhymes and illustrations. It also exposes kids to new animals.

Content Awareness Factors:

None.

Little Kid Reaction

Family 1: My daughter liked that the llama talked to all the different animals. She said they were cute, and she liked how each animal described what their mother looked like. She especially liked when he found his mother.

Parent Reaction

Family 1: I was surprised she liked it but was glad when she smiled and was happy when he finally finds his mother. I enjoyed that the llama asking the questions helped my daughter learn about other animals without realizing it.

Little Kid Reaction

Family 2: My sons enjoyed trying to guess what the animal’s mother was. My 3-year old is very into animals, so this was a natural book for him to love. This was probably his favorite one in the stack.

Parent Reaction

Family 2: Yes, I loved this book. The rhyming is fun, and is a great way to introduce the FUN and PLEASURE of reading to small children. I love that some of the animals are not “standard” first children’s book animals (cat, dog, horse, cow, chicken), so my children were exposed to some new (but not too obscure) animals. And I SOOO appreciate that they showed a very loving relationship between mother and young, which reinforces my own relationship with my children – a very safe and loving book to read to tender-hearted little people! I could tell from the colorful illustrations and fun words that my sons would love it. I was a little surprised (delightfully!) that my sons loved it SOOO much and wanted to read it again and again, and I was surprised at how much my older son (age 5) was into it – it was a small board book, and not very long, but I found he LOVED the excitement of figuring out what the animal was before I turned the page and revealed the word.

Type of Book:
This is a rhyming picture book for toddlers through kindergartners.

Educational Themes:

This is a book for introducing animals, and it lets you show how babies don't always look like their parent. (i.e. cygnets have different coloring than swans)

Reading Level:
0.7

Recommended Age To Read By Yourself:
5 to 7

Recommended Age To Read Together:
1 to 4

Age of child:
Read with a 5-year-old girl (family 1). Also read with two boys, ages 3 and 5 (family 2).

Purchase Recommendation:
Buy. This is a fun book to share, and libraries should definitely have this book. Family 2 adds: It is a wonderful book that I would recommend as a first book for young toddlers or even babies.

Title	Is Your Mama a Llama?
Author	Deborah Guarino
Publisher	Scholastic Inc. © 1989
Illustrators	Steven Kellogg
ISBN	0590413872
Material	Hard Cover
Cost	$6. 99
Genres	Poetry

Reminder: Cover images, amazon.com and indiebound.org links are affiliate links. The Reading Tub can earn income via purchases made via these links. 100% of any income goes directly to our literacy mission.

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Tell me who your mother is according to the horoscope, and we will tell you how to communicate with her

A good relationship with your mother is an incredible value, so it is very important to maintain it. We tell you how to find an approach to any mother. Depending on her zodiac sign.

Snezhana Gribatskaya

Tags:

Zodiac signs

Horoscopes

Blouses

Parents and children

mothers

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Aries Mom

Aries Mom rarely complains about her children. She loves them, but often makes high demands on them. She does not like to argue, but she controls the children so that they do not act rashly. This seems right to her.
Try to make concessions to your mother. Give compliments more often, as this is important for her, emphasize how beautiful, wise and she does not look at all for her age.
She wants to be proud of you, including your independence and independence.

Taurus Mom

Taurus Mom does not always tell her children how offended she is with them after a quarrel. She can pretend that nothing happened. She may even stop talking to you if you have a fight. If you suspect that you offended your mother, come and ask for forgiveness. You will see how her face has changed. Be sure to help her with the housework, she appreciates it very much. And she will accept your offer to go with her to the dacha with enthusiasm.
Mom-Taurus is very hard when children do not listen to her advice, even if they are already adults. Don't forget to spend time with her as often as possible and respect her perseverance. Your mom is very demanding. But this is her strength.

Gemini Mom

Gemini Mom is the most sociable mom. She wants close people to let her in on their secrets, tell her about their problems. She is one of those rare mothers who understands that her children have become independent and adults.
Gemini mom just loves when her adult children come to visit. If you don't live with your mom, do it as often as possible.
If you quarreled, just tell her that you are to blame and are ready to make amends in any way.

Cancer Mom

Cancer Mom is very vulnerable. You should always remember this. Her soul always hurts, and she cares so much about her adult children that it can be a little annoying. Remember to call her often if she is worried. For her, this is very important. She also needs to know what her daughter does and who she communicates with. If mom could decide for you, she would prefer the child to live next to her all his life. She is ready to babysit her grandchildren and take care of children all her life. She is very attached to her family.

Leo Mom

Leo Mom loves to command her children, or at least wants them to take her opinion into account. Never allow yourself to speak with your mother in a raised voice, remember that the last word will be hers. This is her little weakness. Try not to argue with your mother, but rather tell her about your successes. If you quarreled, apologize and try to devote more time to her. If you live together, offer to go to visit either her friends, or to the theater for an interesting performance.

Virgo Mom

Virgo Mom does not tolerate carelessness. If she was promised something, she will have to keep her word, otherwise she will not understand punctuality and irresponsibility.
Mom-Virgo loves to criticize, but this is the peculiarity of her character. In addition, she may not like your style of clothing. She will notice the inconsistency in your suit, the wrong colors, the not-so-fresh blouse. Try not to get angry. Such a mother loves very much when children listen to her opinion and advice.

Libra Mom

Libra Mom does not tolerate disharmony. Try not to appear in front of her in a bad mood. She will certainly think that you have big problems and offer options for help.
Mom-Libra is a very convenient mother, she prefers not to conflict with children. The only thing that can drive her crazy is a misunderstanding of her position and a complete rejection of her advice. Try to consult with her as often as possible. Give her compliments about her appearance. If you have a fight, just apologize and go shopping with her. Note that she has great taste. Most likely, she will immediately forget about the quarrel.

Scorpio mom

If your mom is a Scorpio, she is not the easiest character. She wants to control everything, she is interested in your whole life, she wants to know what the children ate for breakfast and with whom they spend time. You may think that she is trying to manipulate you. It is not true. Such a mother is very caring and cannot believe that her child is an adult. Sometimes remind her of this, but very gently. If you have a fight, apologize first. She is always ready to forgive, but she needs a step forward.

Sagittarius Mom

Sagittarius Mom is a progressive mom. She is almost always full of optimism. She cannot be offended. In this state, she can make a lot of remarks to you about your behavior. Take it for granted and don't argue.
If your mom is a Sagittarius, never cheat on her. She will certainly discover this and express everything that she thinks about this.
If you quarreled, just give her a small gift, she is very sentimental and will be happy about it. Remember how she walked with you in childhood, tell something pleasant.

Capricorn mother

Capricorn mother is a strict mother. She's a bit old-fashioned, but that's her charm. Family traditions are very important to her, she tries to keep them. If you have a fight, don't expect your mom to make up first. She may think that you are the one to blame for the quarrel.

Aquarius Mom

Aquarius Mom. If your mother is an Aquarius, you are very lucky. She is very progressive, always ready to listen to your point of view and enter into a discussion.
Do not refuse her this. If you do not agree with your mother, just explain why and say that you are ready to listen to her advice.
Mom-Aquarius loves to chat. The best thing you can do is be her friend.
If you quarreled, just say that you were wrong, take care of your mother in any convenient way.

Pisces Mom

Pisces Mom. If your mother is Pisces, then she is very touchy. Avoid any accusations against her, let her take care of you at least a little, admire her talents and fine mental organization more often.
Try never to quarrel with such a mother. She is very sensitive and can be easily moved to tears. She understands your mood and problems well and, like no one else, will always support you in a difficult situation.
You can order your personal horoscope, which will help you build relationships with loved ones.

Text: Anastasia Yakuba

Babek Mamedrzaev - Your mother and you lyrics

View all lyrics Babek Mamedrzaev

Only you I need
Made for me
My very favorite, you are only mine

Only you are important to me
Born for me
I am grateful to your mother for you, dear

My very, my
My very own, my
My very own, my
You are the most

The most mine, my
My very own, my
My very own, my
You are the best

Your mother and you
Your mother and you
Your mother and you
goddesses of beauty

Your mother and you
Your mother and you
Your mother and you
Goddesses of beauty

Your mother and you
Your mother and you
Your mother and you
Goddesses of Beauty

Your mother and you
Your mother and you
Your mother and you
Goddess of Beauty

My very own, my
My very own, my
My very own, my
You are the best

Your mother and you
Your mother and you
Your mom and you
Goddesses of beauty

Your mother and you
Your mother and you
Your mother and you
Goddesses of beauty

Your mother and you
Your mother and you
Your mother and you
Goddesses of beauty

Your mother and you
Your mother and you
Your mother and you
Goddess of Beauty

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