Teaching social skills to preschoolers

5 Ways to Build Social Skills

Teachers share with us all the time that in addition to learning ABCs and 123s, helping little ones develop healthy social skills in preschool is a big contributor to becoming successful students as the elementary school years unfold. Parents play a key role in helping their children build early social and sharing skills at home each and every day.

In preschool, children will learn how to share and cooperate, to work together and take turns, to participate in group activities, to follow simple directions, and to communicate wants and needs. Knowing how to do these things builds self-esteem and confidence and helps children thrive in group settings – both in school and out.

Here are 5 simple ways you can help to develop and strengthen your child's social skills outside the classroom:

Arrange play dates, and go to play groups and to the playground. Giving kids the opportunity to engage with other children frequently will provide them with lots of opportunities to take turns, share, and play together.
Give your preschooler simple responsibilities like helping you to set the table for dinner or simple cleaning and tidying. These activities are also very empowering for little ones and help build their confidence.
At home, be consistent about simple rules your child must follow, such as making the bed or putting her toys away.
Model appropriate social interaction and politeness, help them to remember "please" and "thank you" in appropriate moments/settings, and model behavior and language that shows them how to share, wait their turn, and work with others. Playing board games together and taking turns talking about your day at dinner time are two great ways to begin teaching little ones how to take turns.
Help your child learn how to express his emotions, understand them, and learn self-control. In preschool, your little one will rely on his own words and actions to express his needs to his teachers and classmates on a daily basis and sometimes emotions can be big and scary. Help your child realize and understand his own emotions – feeling sad, mad, happy, excited -- and talk to him about what makes him feel that way. Provide him with ideas on how to best communicate those feelings with others.

In addition to you modeling healthy ways to express emotions at home, reading books together about characters who are learning about their emotions and talking with your child about the characters' actions is another great way to help your little one begin to understand his own emotions. Ask questions like, "What did the character do to help her communicate how she was feeling?" or "Why do you think she felt angry/sad/upset?" and " What would you do/say if you felt this way?

Some favorite stories that speak to feelings and emotions and are perfect for preschoolers include:

When Sophie Gets Angry – Really, Really Angry by Molly Bang
Sometimes I'm Bombaloo by Rachel Vail
Wemberly Worried by Kevin Henkes
The Pigeon Has Feelings, Too! by Mo Willems
My Friend Is Sad (an Elephant and Piggie book) by Mo Willems
The Feelings Book by Todd Parr
How Do Dinosaurs Say I'M MAD! by Jane Yolen

How do you help your little one learn to share, cooperate, communicate, and participate? We'd love to know.

Share your ideas with us on the Scholastic Parents Facebook page and let's continue the conversation!

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13 Social Skills Activities for Preschoolers + Milestones

The foundation for a person’s social behaviour is laid during the early years, which makes preschool a crucial time to ensure your children are learning social skills.

In this article I’ll explain briefly:

why social skills are important
examples of social skills for preschoolers

the stages of social development
social milestones by age
13 social skills activities for kids

Developing social skills in preschoolers is vital in order for them to be able to interact with others successfully and form healthy relationships throughout life.

As children grow, they learn about social roles, values and behaviours from the world around them.

Parents, siblings, extended family, peers and teachers all have a role to play in moulding children’s social skills.

Healthy socializing involves three general things – generosity, helpfulness and taking turns.

Generosity

Generosity is about sharing with family as well as friends. Children must also learn to respect others’ rights and possessions.

Helpfulness

Learning to be friendly, considerate and helpful must be balanced with not being overly submissive and stifling the development of their own personalities.

Taking Turns

This is one of the most important skills to learn. It is the basis of courtesy and thoughtfulness and is relevant at almost every level of life.

Children must allow others to have their turn but also have the self-confidence to insist on getting their own turn, without trying to dominate activities and conversations. The example parents set is important.

The social and emotional development of a child is an important aspect of their growth, just as much as intellectual or physical development, which we tend to pay more attention to.

Children need to build a set of prosocial skills in order to navigate communicating with others and building relationships.

Here are some examples of social skills, as shared by Marike de Witt in her book “The Young Child in Context: A psycho-social perspective“.

These social skills, as well as the

Cooperating
Being helpful
Compromising
Giving
Sharing
Taking turns
Negotiating
Showing sympathy
Having empathy
Imitating
Protecting
Assuming responsibility
Respecting others’ views
Showing attachment

Antisocial behaviours prevent children from communicating effectively. These are a few examples:

Selfishness
Telling lies
Aggression
Egocentrism
Taking others’ possessions
Bossiness
Destructiveness
Prejudice

In order to help children build social skills, it is necessary to first understand the social stages and milestones they will progress through so you can support them at their stage of maturity.

For example, there is no need to worry that your 2-year-old won’t share his toys as this is normal at his age. He is not yet mature enough to understand the concept of sharing.

De Witt divides social development into three main stages: the Infancy, Childhood and Youthful periods.

Infancy Period

This stage begins at birth and ends at the first signs of speech. During this stage, infants learn to tell the difference between their own bodies and the environment around them.

Social development is strongly influenced by the mother-child relationship because the way a mother cares for her child will either convey tenderness or anxiety.

Childhood Period

The childhood period begins when a child uses clear speech and lasts up until the need for playmates of the same age emerges.

By following the example set by the parents, a child begins to classify his own behaviour as good or bad. He also realizes the difference between enemies and friends.

During this stage, children acquire language as well as cultural customs, such as hygiene, toilet or eating practices.

Youthful Period

This period begins when children prefer to play with others of the same age. More complex skills of interpersonal behaviour are learnt, such as cooperation, competition and compromise.

Here is a table of common milestones that occur at various ages as a child matures. It is a summary of the milestones in the book “The Young Child in Context: A psycho-social perspective“.

12 Months

Shows affection for people she knows
Likes to be around loved ones – to always hear or see them
Passes an object or toy to an adult when asked, and sometimes even spontaneously
Waves goodbye
Begins to play games such as hide-and-seek

18 Months

Plays alone happily but likes to be near a familiar adult or older sibling
Likes other children but does not play with them
Shows affection for family members, pets and dolls
Begins to imitate people
Repeats actions and expressions that receive a positive reaction

2 Years

Likes people but is still egocentric
Follows caregivers around the house and demands constant attention
Imitates domestic activities
May take turns but has difficulty sharing toys or adult attention
Throws tantrums in order to be understood
Happily plays near other children, but not yet with them (parallel play)
Sometimes hits or bites children to get a reaction
Can role play e. g. put a doll to sleep or wash the dishes

3 Years

Begins to behave unselfishly
Shows affection for younger siblings
Likes helping with domestic activities such as shopping or cleaning
Begins to share with others
Enjoys playing alone and with other children
Begins to show a preference for certain friends
Begins to show sympathy when someone is upset
Engages in make-believe play with dolls and toys and enjoys pretending to be someone else
Still sees most things from their own perspective
Talks about self, family and possessions
Shows empathy with characters in stories
Can wait for you to finish before talking
Sometimes has an imaginary friend

4 Years

Really enjoys the company of friends and can play in a group
Often has a best friend
Is strong willed
Begins to form a sense of humour
Understands taking turns and sharing
Shows concern and sympathy towards younger siblings and friends
Engages in dramatic make-believe play
Becomes competitive
Social skills develop such as – saying please and thank you (if taught), greeting people, talking to them, and showing respect towards others in the home

5 Years

Behaves in a more controlled and sensible way
Cooperates with companions and understands the need for rules and fair play
Has a definite sense of humour
Shows tenderness towards and is protective of younger children and pets
Enjoys competitive games
Enjoys fantasy games
Chooses own friends (usually of the same sex)
Begins to learn the value of compromise and negotiation

As you can see, sharing is a struggle for very young children. The advice is usually to divert and redirect attention when dealing with toddlers [source].

The most important activity your children can engage in, in order to develop their social skills, is play.

When preschool children play together they learn together.

Here are some reasons play is important for your child’s social development.

It teaches cooperation and how to take turns
Children are able to try different roles and personalities
Play teaches children to verbalize their needs
Kids learn to lead and follow
It provides a broad base for the use of social language skills
Children learn to respect others’ rights and possessions
They develop an awareness of themselves as a member of a group
Through play, they understand their own culture and values
They gain knowledge about society’s rules and about group responsibility
Play develops a positive self-image and self-concept
It teaches how to participate in a group
It promotes gender-role identification
Children develop common goals and interests as they play together
They learn to see others’ perspectives
Children experience delight when playing

If you are wondering what activities would be most effective to help a child develop positive social skills, the answer is that you don’t really need a list of specific activities to “teach” them about socializing.

Rather, it is about giving them enough opportunities to play and interact and encouraging certain types of games and activities that involve interaction and cooperation.

You can discuss or play social skills games around topics like feelings and how to cope with conflict, but it will only be through experiencing these feelings and conflicts that your children will really learn these lessons and understand these concepts in a meaningful way.

Here are some simple social development activities for 3-5-year-olds.

1.

Playdates

Invite friends over for a playdate and take your children to play with friends as often as you can. Playing with siblings is also good interaction.

The more opportunities your child has to mix with others, the more they will practise socializing.

Don’t leave your young child alone with a friend if he is not yet comfortable. Give him time to build trust.

2.

Group Games

Play group games that involve taking turns and following rules.

Children will learn with time that social interaction is fun and that in order for the game to work, they need to consider each other and all be active participants.

Also, encourage musical games such as musical chairs where there are rules to follow and children have to compete while still considering each other and being comfortable with losing sometimes (e.g. if your friend gets to a chair before you).

This takes maturity to understand.

3.

Board Games

Board games are an excellent activity for older preschool children. These should have multiple players (even if you start with 2), rules and an objective (e.g. in Snakes and Ladders the objective is to reach the end first).

It can be a complex task for a child to learn to follow rules and keep the game positive while competing with friends or family members.

Younger children can start with simple card games or very basic board games.

4.

Fantasy Play

Fantasy, or dress-up play, is an important part of learning to socialize. During this kind of play, children make sense of their world and the people around them by role-playing.

This is how they “practise” being an adult, behaving and interacting as an adult would. They also act out their own social customs and norms.

Fantasy play is a great social learning activity for children playing with one or more friends, as well as for smaller children playing alone.

Even though the child is alone, the activity revolves around pretending to interact with others, which is a great way to safely act out an interaction.

Provide opportunities at home by having a dress-up section in your child’s room. Provide different themed clothes and props and change them frequently to encourage new ideas.

5.

Blocks

When children play with blocks together, they initially play alongside each other, building their own structures.

With time and maturity, they begin to share blocks, take an interest in each other’s structures and finally end up building something together.

This is one of those activities where you will see this progression clearly.

By the time children are building together, they are learning to share, listen to each other’s ideas, problem-solve, organize, share opinions, negotiate, compromise and work towards a common goal.

6.

Sensory Play

Sensory play is a fun activity that children love to do together. Whether they are playing with water, mud or sand, there is much sharing, negotiating and cooperation. It also often leads to fantasy play.

7.

Creative Play

When children are involved in creative activities such as drawing, painting, cutting, pasting or moulding playdough, they are often deep in conversation at the same time.

These activities usually happen around a table where the children are sitting calmly and are fully engaged with their playmates.

Some of the most intriguing and complex socializing I have witnessed has been around an art table.

8.

Reading

Reading to a child is my absolute favourite activity and one with so many benefits. Stories are all about people and animals and their relationships and interactions.

Read to your child daily and she will constantly be listening to how characters socialize, deal with problems, show emotions and generally interact.

You may find it hard to explain to a young child what empathy is, for example, but you can certainly teach the message with a story and let your child experience this trait on her own through listening.

9.

Discussions

Along with reading, discussions are another way to teach your children social skills.

Use every opportunity possible to discuss how your children feel, to talk about their friendships and even discuss the characters in the stories and how they handled certain situations.

When your children experience conflict with a friend, discussing possible solutions or how they can handle it is a far more educational experience than immediately intervening.

10. Manners

In my experience teaching in the classroom, the children who had lovely manners were taught at home as toddlers. Those who hadn’t been taught seldom spontaneously said please or thank you without being constantly prompted and reminded.

It is too late to teach a 3 or 4-year-old manners and courtesy. Start as early as possible.

11.

Free Play

The best socializing and learning occurs naturally – when children are playing freely with each other.

You may choose to present and encourage certain activities, such as an art project, but know that any time spent playing with others is time they are learning valuable social skills.

Try not to let screen time or too many planned activities get in the way of real play and socializing.

…and don’t forget these two important points:

12.

Build a Healthy Relationship With Your Child

A child’s primary relationship – with his parents – is the basis for all future socializing.

The relationship should be warm and close. Your child should feel love, security, acceptance, trust and self-esteem.

13.

Model Positive Behaviour

Children learn about socially acceptable behaviour by watching their parents. They learn more from watching you than from listening to you.

I hope you enjoyed these ideas and activities for developing social skills in preschoolers.

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Social Skills and Learning Success - Child Development

When a child enters senior or pre-kindergarten, parents expect the child to learn to read and write. But before focusing on acquiring academic knowledge, there are many other skills that he needs to master. Research shows that the most important skills to teach children at this age are social skills: cooperation, self-control, confidence, independence, curiosity, empathy, and communication.

In the first months of the school year, educators have the most difficulties with children who have behavioral problems and insufficiently developed attention. In fact, everything is simple: if a child does not know how to keep a queue, listen and sit quietly in a group, how can he learn the educational material? That is why at the beginning of the year so much time is devoted to learning and developing the basic social skills of babies.

Fortunately, the previous experience of social interaction, both at home and in the younger groups of the kindergarten, helps the child to adapt to the changes that have occurred with the team after the summer vacation period. As soon as the kid has mastered the basic skills of social interaction and behavior in a group at a sufficient level, he will be ready to focus on the educational material. That is, a child will be able to gain more knowledge if the approach to the development of his social, emotional and cognitive (academic) skills is maximally balanced by his parents and teachers of preschool education.

Recent brain development research has shown that a child's ability to interact with other children, control and express feelings, and solve basic problems independently is just as important to academic success as academic skills. The pathways in the brain necessary for successful learning are developed through positive interaction with other people! Caregivers use this data to help children build relationships with each other, share and care, listen and speak in groups, and feel confident to take on new challenges.

Early Basic Skills

Here are some examples of what good teachers set at the beginning of the school year in senior or pre-school. Parents can adapt them in their family and help the child develop in this direction, being in the comfortable conditions of their own family and at home.

Self-confidence and self-esteem: is one of the first skills that caregivers focus on developing. It is important to instill in the child a positive feeling about himself - himself as a person and a participant in social interactions. This is a skill that will not lose its value throughout the child's life and will help him feel capable and skillful both now and in future studies.
Collaboration: games, stories and songs help a child learn to work with other children - not an easy task at this age! Collaboration for a baby is the ability to empathize and get along with other people.
Curiosity: Perhaps one of the most important skills a child needs to develop at this stage is a thirst for learning. The caregiver can use a wide range of interesting materials and ideas to engage your child's natural curiosity. Recent studies show that new or unusual activities and materials (compared to already familiar ones) engage the brain more, forcing it to pay close attention to the information offered.
Communication: Expressing yourself and your thoughts, feelings and knowledge about the world is one of your child's key skills. It underlies all reading, writing, math, and science skills. If a child can confidently express his thought or opinion, he becomes more open to learning and developing thinking.

How Parents Can Help Develop These Skills

Help your child develop critical social and emotional skills by connecting with kindergarten friends in your home setting. Ask the kid who he would like to invite to visit to play. It is often easier for children to build friendships in their own one-on-one space than in a kindergarten. Many educators find that a child who finds it difficult to make friends or interact in a large group is more likely to forge a close bond with a new friend at home. These relationships can then be transferred to the conditions of the kindergarten. Once the child has established a bond with one classmate, it will be easier for him to establish friendships with other children.

The meaning of play

Play is important work for your little child. He grows, learns and explores the world through play. This happens through complex gameplay that encourages him to think, solve problems and use his imagination and fantasy. When a child participates in the game, he has to plan, focus and strive for the goal, using all the basic life and work skills.

In kindergarten, the child should be given opportunities to participate in different play situations throughout the day. The toddler can be introduced to letters and numbers through meaningful drama, building blocks, and literature or music. So don't worry if your child comes home and says he's been playing all day!

Also at home, create all the conditions for developing games and activities for him. Remember that the experience your child has at the start of the school year will provide an important foundation that will enable him to become a passionate lifelong learner – passionate because he will discover that learning can be fun and interesting.

Social skills of preschoolers - the development of social skills in children

The development of social skills is a necessary point of education. A child with a high degree of socialization will quickly get used to kindergarten, school, any new team; in the future will easily find a job. Social skills have a positive effect on interpersonal relationships - friendship, the ability to cooperate.

Understand what social skills are.

What are social skills and why develop them?

Social skills - a group of skills, abilities that are formed during the interaction of a person with society and affect the quality of communication with people.

Man is a social being: all our talents and aspirations are realized thanks to other members of the group. Others evaluate our actions, approve or condemn our behavior. It is difficult to reach the pinnacle of self-actualization alone.

This is why social skills are important. They should be developed from early childhood and honed throughout life.

Social skills are a reflection of the child's emotional intelligence, to which educators and teachers assign an important role in the process of personality development. Without this group of skills, a smart child will not be able to apply the acquired knowledge in practice: it is not enough to create something outstanding, you need to be able to correctly convey thoughts to the public.

Sometimes people mistakenly believe that social skills relate exclusively to the topic of communication, communication. In fact, skills include many multidirectional aspects: an adequate perception of one's own individuality, the ability to empathize, work in a team, etc.

Why do we need social skills?

Regulate the area of interpersonal relationships: the child easily makes new friends, finds like-minded people.
Minimize psychological stress: children with developed social skills quickly adapt, do not feel sad due to changes in external circumstances.
They form an adequate self-esteem from childhood, which positively affects life achievements and development in adulthood.
Social skills cannot be separated from building a successful career: the best specialists must not only understand the profession, but also have high emotional intelligence.

Development of social skills in a child

Social skills need to be developed from preschool age, but older children and even teenagers may well learn to interact with the world.

It is recommended to pay attention to areas of life that bring discomfort to the child, significantly complicate everyday life.

Friends, interesting interlocutors: the kid does not know how to join the team, he prefers to sit in the corner while the others play.
Verbal difficulties. The child does not understand the rules of conversation, is poorly versed in the formulas of etiquette (when you need to say hello, say goodbye, offer help).
Problems with the non-verbal side of communication. Such a baby does not recognize the shades of emotions, it is difficult to understand how others relate to him. Cannot "read" faces and gestures.
Does not know the measure in expressing a point of view: too passive or, conversely, aggressive.
The child bullies classmates (participates in bullying) or is a victim.

In case of severe moral trauma, one should consult a psychologist: for example, school bullying is a complex problem that children are not able to cope with on their own. The involvement of parents and teachers is required.

In other cases, family members may well be able to help the child develop social skills.

What are the general recommendations?

1. Be patient

Don't push your child to get things done. Let them take the initiative: for example, do not rush to help during school gatherings, let the baby work on the problem on his own. The same goes for lessons and other activities.

2. Support undertakings

Children's dreams seem trifling to adults, but the initiative turns into a habit over the years and helps to discover new projects, meet people, and experiment.

3. Criticize the right way

When making negative comments, remember the golden rule of criticism: analyze the work, highlighting both positive and negative aspects in a polite manner. Commenting on the specific actions of the child, and not his personality or appearance - this will lead to problems with self-esteem.

4. The right to choose

It is important for children to feel that their voice is taken into account and influences the course of events. Invite your child to personally choose clothes, books, cartoons. Ask about ideas, plans: “We are going to have a rest together at the weekend. What are your suggestions?

5. Personal space

Make sure that the baby has a place where he can be alone and take a break from talking. Personal things should not be touched: rearrange without prior discussion, read correspondence with friends, check pockets, etc.

Children, noticing the respectful attitude of adults, quickly begin to pay in the same coin; the atmosphere in the family becomes warm and trusting.

What social skills should be developed in a child?

Let's dwell on the main qualities and skills, the development of which is worth paying attention to.

1. The ability to ask, accept and give help

Without the ability to ask for help, the child will deprive himself of valuable advice; the lack of the ability to accept help will lead to losses, and the inability to provide help will make the baby self-centered.

Let the child help those in need: for example, a lagging classmate.
Explain to your child that getting help from friends and teachers is not a shame.
Show by personal example that mutual help enriches experience: tell how you exchange advice with colleagues, friends.

2. The ability to conduct a conversation and get the right information

Being a good conversationalist is difficult, but the skill is honed over time and brings a lot of benefits.

Prompt the child for dialogue development options: for example, you can start a conversation with a relevant question, a request for help.
Do not leave the child in the role of a silent listener: when discussing pressing issues at home, ask the opinion of the baby.
Support children's public speaking: reports at school, performances, funny stories surrounded by loved ones will add confidence.

3. Empathy

Empathy is the ability to recognize the emotions of others, put yourself in the place of another person, empathize.

This ability will make the child humane, prudent. How can it be developed?

Start by recognizing the child's feelings - it is useless to listen to people if the person does not feel personal experiences. Ask your baby: “How do you feel after a quarrel with friends?”, “Do you want to relax today?”
After conflicts with classmates, ask your child how the children with whom the quarrel may feel now.
While watching cartoons, reading books, pay your child's attention to the emotional state of the characters.

4. Ability to work in a team

Many children can easily cope with tasks alone, but this is not a reason to refuse to work in a team. It gives the opportunity to exchange ideas and experience, delegate tasks, achieve goals faster and more efficiently.

If the child does not communicate with members of the team, try to introduce him to another social group: for example, the lack of communication with classmates can be compensated by a circle of interests, where the child will feel calmer.
Make the family a friendly team in which the child has his own "duties": for example, do housework, remind parents of upcoming events. Any activity related to the well-being of other family members will do.

5. Respect for personal boundaries

Not having an obsessive desire to interfere in other people's lives is a valuable skill that helps win people's sympathy.

Respect the child's personal boundaries: do not enter the nursery without warning, do not rummage through personal belongings and correspondence, if the matter does not concern the life and safety of the baby.
If the child violates other people's boundaries (takes toys without permission, asks uncomfortable questions), talk about it in private.

6. Ability to overcome conflict situations

It is difficult to imagine our life without conflicts. The task of the child is to learn how to culturally enter into a discussion, defend his point of view, and not be led by the provocations of his interlocutors.

Talk about problems calmly, without raising your voice. Do not put pressure on the child with parental authority unnecessarily: the child is a separate person who has the right to an opinion.
Do not judge people for views that differ from those of your family but do not affect your well-being. Show your child that the world is very different.
You can demonstrate to children the basics of a civilized dispute, explain what arguments are, etc. It is advisable to teach this child in kindergarten.

7. Self-confidence

Stable and adequate self-esteem is a quality that not all adults possess.

It is formed under the influence of many factors: relationships between parents, the role of the child in the family circle, the characteristics of the environment that surrounded the child in early childhood.

It is important that the child does not grow up to be either a narcissistic narcissist with fragile self-esteem, or an overly shy person. How can you help your child find balance?

Praise your child for personal progress: to receive a compliment from parents, it is not necessary to win prizes in school competitions.
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