Family routines examples
Routines for families: how & why they work
Routines: the basics
Family routines set out how families organise themselves to get things done, spend time together and have fun. Routines help family members know who should do what, when, in what order and how often.
Routines also let your children know what’s important to your family. For example, really special routines are sometimes called rituals. These can help strengthen your shared beliefs and values, and build a sense of belonging and togetherness in your family.
Why routines are good for children
Routines can be good for children for several reasons.
Safety, belonging and relationships
Routines can be part of an organised and predictable home environment, which helps children and teenagers feel safe, secure and looked after. And a predictable family life can also help children cope during development changes like puberty, or life events like the birth of a new child, divorce, illness or a house move.
Also, routines built around having fun or spending time together foster a sense of belonging and strengthen family relationships. For example, reading a story together before bed, sharing regular family meals or having a kick with your child before soccer practice can be special time for you and your child.
Skills and responsibility
Having chores as part of family routines helps children and teenagers develop a sense of responsibility and some basic skills like time management. These are skills children can use for life.
And when children can do their parts of the routine with less help or supervision from you, it also helps them become more independent.
Healthy habits
Routines can teach younger children healthy habits, like brushing their teeth, taking medicine regularly, exercising, or washing their hands after using the toilet.
This means that routines can be good for children’s health. For example, children who wash their hands more regularly might be less likely to get colds and other common illnesses.
Also, routines can reduce stress, and lower stress is good for children’s immune systems.
Daily routines help set our body clocks too. For example, bedtime routines help children’s bodies ‘know’ when it’s time to sleep. This can be a big help when children reach adolescence and their body clocks start to change.
Why routines are good for parents
Routines take some effort to create. But once you’ve set them up, they have many benefits:
- When life is busy, routines can help you feel more organised and in control, which lowers your stress.
- Regular and consistent routines can help you feel like you’re doing a good job as a parent.
- Routines help your family get through your daily tasks more efficiently and free up time for other things.
- Routines often mean you don’t have to sort out disputes and make decisions. For example, if Sunday night is pizza night, no-one needs to argue about what’s for dinner.
It can be easy to overschedule family life.
Routines have many benefits, but it’s also good for children and parents to have free time to play, relax or be creative.
What makes a good daily routine?
A good routine is one that suits your family. It also has three key features.
Well planned
In a good routine, everyone understands their roles, knows what they need to do and sees their roles as reasonable and fair. For example, your children know that they take turns with washing up and drying up each night after dinner. As children get older, they can have a say in planning routines.
Regular
Good routines become part of everyday family life. For example, you might all look forward to Sunday night barbecues with your children’s grandparents.
Predictable
In a good routine, things happen in the same order each time. Everyone knows what to expect for the day. For example, you always wash school uniforms on the weekend, so you know they’ll be ready for Monday morning.
Routines for children with disabilities can be a big help. They can be even more important for children who find it hard to understand or cope with change.
Toddlers and preschoolers: ideas for daily routines
For toddlers and preschoolers, you could have routines for:
- getting ready in the morning
- eating meals
- spending time playing and talking together
- reading books or telling stories
- having quiet time and going to bed at night.
You could also have weekly routines for playdates or playgroup, trips to the park or visits to extended family. Your child will probably look forward to these special events each week.
School-age children: ideas for daily routines
For school-age children, you could have routines for:
- getting ready in the morning and going to bed at night
- doing after-school activities like hobbies or sport
- doing chores – for example, setting the dinner table, unpacking the dishwasher, helping with the laundry, or caring for pets
- doing homework.
For school-age children, you might be more flexible with routines during school holidays. You might let your child sleep in a bit later, have extra playdates with their friends or spend a little more time playing video games.
Teenagers: ideas for daily routines
For teenagers, you could have routines for:
- getting ready in the morning or winding down after coming home from school
- doing laundry or other chores like making beds and cleaning rooms
- doing homework
- doing after-school activities, including hobbies or sport
- spending time with family
- relaxing before bed.
Older children and teenagers might grow out of or start to challenge some routines. You’ll probably need to be flexible and adapt routines as your children get older. For example, you might need to adjust bedtimes or chores.
New daily routines for your family
When do you need a new daily routine?
If you feel your family doesn’t spend enough time together having fun or family life isn’t running smoothly, a new routine might help.
A new routine can be useful for hectic and stressful times of the day. For example, you might need a new routine to help your family get ready for school and work.
A new routine might also help if something is regularly causing conflict in your family. This could be when you’re going shopping, or when the children fight over whose turn it is to feed the dog.
If you’re constantly asking or nagging other people to do things, or you’re getting frustrated and angry, this might also be a sign that you need a new daily routine. For example, a new routine can encourage children to complete chores, practise instruments or do homework.
Routines are particularly useful when you’re trying to help family members develop new habits, like good hygiene.
As your children grow and develop or you change jobs, you might want to revise your routines or create new ones to take these changes into account.
Thinking about a new routine
Here are things to think about if you’re working on new daily routines for your family.
Family involvement
It’s good to start by talking about new routines with your partner before talking about them with your children. This way you can make sure you both agree and understand what your goals are.
By the time children are about five years old, you can get their help with new routines. It’s especially good for teenagers to have a say in their own daily routines – for example, routines for doing homework and spending time with friends.
Family goals
Routines need to meet the everyday needs of individual family members, but they also need to meet more long-term goals. For example, if having regular quality family time is an important long-term goal in your family, try to have routines that help you achieve this goal.
Changes in family life
It helps to have routines you can adapt as things change. For example, as children grow they can take on more responsibility for things like getting themselves dressed for school.
A new routine could also be part of an old one. For example, if your child needs to take a new medicine, you could add this to your child’s routine, just before brushing teeth.
Family strengths
Successful routines often build on family strengths, so you can think about what your family members are good at and work these strengths into the routine. For example, if one child is better at getting up early, that child could have the first turn in the bathroom.
Fun
Building fun or play into a routine can help it run smoothly. For example, you could make your morning routine into a game, and your child could earn rewards for getting ready on time.
Age and ability
Routines work well if they’re suited to your children’s ages and abilities. For example, your preschooler might help with the evening routine by carrying cutlery to the dishwasher, while your older child helps by loading the dishwasher.
Reminders
If you’re setting up a new routine, you might need to remind family members about it until everyone gets used to it.
You can also use prompts to remind your child of the routine. For example, the end of a TV show can mark the start of a bedtime routine. Or an older child could use an alarm clock to get up in the morning. Simple lists can be good reminders if you put them where everyone can see them. Young children could make a picture book showing the family routine.
It takes time to overcome old habits and learn new ways of behaving, so you’ll need to give your new routine time to work.
If your children aren’t happy about changes to a routine, try making smaller changes over time rather than one big change. Celebrate effort, cooperation and success by giving your children praise or even rewards until the routine becomes part of what they regularly do.
How to design a new routine: steps
These steps can help when you’re designing a new routine.
1. Work out a goal
The goal of a new morning routine might be that your child is ready for school by 8.
30 am – dressed, shoes on, had breakfast, teeth and hair brushed, and school bag packed with everything they need for the day.
2. List the individual steps in the order they need to happen
The steps for a new morning routine might be:
- 7 am – get up.
- 7.15-7.45 am – have breakfast and put plates in sink.
- 7.45-8 am – clean teeth, brush hair, put on sunscreen.
- 8-8.15 am – put on school uniform, socks and shoes.
- 8.15-8.30 am – pack school bag with lunch, books and so on.
This step involves working out the timing of the routine. How much time does each step take? What time will you need to start so you can get everything done and allow time for the unexpected?
3. Work out what your child can do independently and what you’ll need to help with
For example, you might need or like to get your child’s breakfast, but perhaps you can teach your child how to get dressed.
4.
Think about ways of setting up the routine for success
This is about making sure everyone knows what they’re expected to do in the routine. You might also need to remove distractions. For example, if your child gets distracted by their phone in the morning, the phone could stay in a family area until your child is ready for school.
5. Consider any new family rules
If you make some simple, clear rules about the kind of behaviour you expect, it will help your child know what to do. For example, you might have a rule about sitting at the table to eat breakfast.
6. Try to build in time for talking or fun
For example, if you allow 30 minutes for breakfast, you might have time to eat with your children and have a chat.
7. Talk through the steps of the routine
Before you put a new routine into action, talk everyone through the steps of the routine. Be prepared to do this more than once until it’s clear for the whole family.
The Importance of Family Daily and Weekly Routine - Child Development
Ask yourself how your family spends each day. When and how do you eat, do housework, spend time together, play or talk to each other? The family daily and weekly schedule will help you and all family members plan the time you want to spend together, realize your plans, and improve the quality of life.
Why is the family daily and weekly routine so necessary?
A routine agreed upon with all family members has a very beneficial effect on the family atmosphere. It denotes the time, place and way in which the whole family can spend time together or jointly achieve certain results regarding her life within the modern intense rhythm of everyday life.
Family daily and weekly routines reduce stress levels for parents and children, help families to jointly choose and solve urgent and priority tasks, and also provides family members with the opportunity to spend time together, no matter what urgent matters may be on the agenda of each of them.
them throughout the day or the whole week.
So, the family daily and weekly routine will help:
- Reduce the stress level of all family members.
- Maintain a healthy lifestyle and habits.
- Strengthen family cohesion and commitment to family values.
Family routine of the day and week is very important for children
Family routine can give children a sense of security, security and, as already mentioned, reduce stress levels. When a child knows what to expect during homework or at bedtime, they are more confident and positive about each day, and even look forward to every stage of it. The child knows that while he is doing his homework, his dad will lay out his drawings next to him and will be in the same room with him. The child knows that his mother will definitely read to him at night and that he will fall asleep in the warm embrace of his mother, having listened to the end of the story.
Should we plan every activity in our schedule? After all, this is impossible! Not! The family daily routine should not be a source of stress, it should reduce its level.
Start shaping your daily routine with one type of activity, such as having a family dinner together, an evening out, or doing chores together, and see how it works for you and your children. After you have successfully added one event to your routine, add another, a third - as much as you need to achieve harmony in your family.
What if the daily routine needs to be changed?
No problem! As children get older, parents change their activities and even work, so the daily routine must be flexible. The main thing is to set the children in a positive way, letting them know what to expect at every moment of the day.
Regular activities for the whole family
Remember that all families are different, so their activities may also be different. Practice them consistently and see how your new routine works for you and your kids.
List of daily activities:
- Eat at least once a day so that all family members gather around the table.
- Every day, let one of the parents be sure to stay with the child before going to bed - read to him, tell a fairy tale, or simply share his practical life observations.
- Do housework together. Have your child help you clear the table, wash the dishes, and clean the house on weekends every day.
- Make reading a shared family activity. You can read aloud to small children, and take turns with older children to read a book that will be of interest to everyone.
- Be present when your child does homework every evening. At this time, you can look through literature related to your work, or sketch out abstracts or plans that will be useful to you the next day.
A sample list of activities for the week:
- Together visit a museum interesting for the child.
- Participate as a family in a volunteer project to help those in need.
- Visit your relatives or friends.
- Cook dinner together.
- Visit a cinema, a dolphinarium or a zoo.
- Do sports together.
A good family routine gives children and adults a sense of security, as it informs them of what positive elements their life consists of. Family members have private time to spend together, and also train themselves to be more responsible, requiring routines for the sake of other family members and giving them the opportunity to contribute to the common cause and play an important role in the family.
Don't forget to take into account the reactions of your children to certain joint activities and give them the opportunity to add suggestions to the family routine of the day and week.
Types of family relationships — Relations — tsn.ua
They say that happy families are equally happy, but each of the unhappy families is unhappy in its own way. Indeed, there are different models of relationships in the family. By understanding the relationship between family members, one can find the cause of problems in such families and possible solutions.
The following types of relationships can be distinguished:
Child-parent relationships . In this case, one of the partners builds relationships from the position of a child, while the other - from the position of an adult. In this case, the "child" demands, is offended, refuses responsibility, rebels, and the "adult" educates, controls, makes comments, solves problems, and provides financially. Such relationships are often between young girls and men 15-20 years older, or between dependent, weak men and dominant women, who are used to keeping everything under control and being responsible for everything. Such relationships are often destroyed at the moment when the "children" become more mature, and they no longer need dominant partners. Girls become co-owners of the business and fall in love with their peers, and husbands, who were constantly sawed by their wives, calling weaklings and losers, suddenly find new companions who believe, admire, are proud and strive to be led.
Merge . In merged families, there is only one personality - a strong, domineering parent. The boundaries of other personalities in this family seem to be erased, their needs are ignored, and all their actions are subordinated only to satisfying the needs of the "main personality". Often this is an imperious, dominant mother, controlling every step of her child and telling her husband what to do, where to go to work, tightly controlling the family budget and planning the daily routine in the family. Merge in the norm can only be at certain stages of relationships, for example, during falling in love, when, indeed, the boundaries of two personalities seem to blur, and it begins to seem to them that they can understand each other without words. At the same time, beliefs such as "love is when two people look in the same direction" often lead to such a pathological merger, when two people really look in the same direction, but only in the direction that one of them points out.
Co-dependent relationships . This type of relationship is typical for families in which one of the members has some kind of addiction: alcohol, gambling, drugs. Then the life of other family members is subject to this dependence, so they are called co-dependent loved ones. Co-dependent family members, just like in a family whose members are in merger, forget about their own needs and live only by saving the addict, solving his problems, scolding him for his misdeeds, etc. Often such a family is destroyed when the co-dependent ceases to be a "rescuer" and ceases to be responsible for the life of the addict, or when the addict has a strong motivation to "quit", and the co-dependent does not change.
Photo: Getty Images/Fotobank
Sadomasochistic relationships . As paradoxical as it sounds, in our society betrayals in the family are more discussed and condemned than the topic of violence. At the same time, few parents can admit that they have not hit their child at least once.
Some mother on the playground can beat her child, and no one will file a complaint against her with social services. Such a mother grows up a child with blurred boundaries, for whom beatings at the hands of a significant person are not only the norm, but even a manifestation of love. Many women in our country endure violence - physical, mental, financial - at the hands of their husbands for years, decades, believing that they cannot change anything. And, indeed, some critical level of pain must be reached, a personal bottom, so that the "victim" gains the determination to get out of such a relationship. Then there are hotlines, crisis centers for victims of domestic violence, caring people who are ready to help.
Fragmented family . So called families with rigid internal boundaries of each family member. Such families often seem prosperous to an outside observer, while each family member lives his own, separate life. There is currently an upward trend in the number of separated families.
Such relationships include, for example, a guest marriage or a family in which the husband and wife live in different countries.
Photo: Getty Images/Fotobank 
