Funny stories kids
4 Short Funny Stories for Kids
- Share
Searching for some funny stories for kids to read to your class or at bedtime? Your kids will love these!
There are two little bears who try to wake their mother at the end of winter, an elephant and a lion who have a battle of wills, five rats who try to sneak past a sleeping cat, and a brave kitten who gets lost.
These funny bedtime stories about animals are a great way to start building your child’s pre-reading and listening skills from a young age.
1.
Wake Up MumWritten by Christina Wither
Illustrated by Dannaria
Two little bears peeped out of their cave. Winter was over and they could smell the fresh spring air. It was time to get up and play after their long sleep.
“Let’s run under the trees,” said Ben.
“I want to roll in the grass,” said Bessie.
“We’d better ask mum,” said the bears together.
Ben and Bessie went into the cave where they had slept with their mum. There she was in the far corner. Mother bear was still fast asleep.
The two little bears tiptoed over to their mum and shook her gently.
“Wake up mum. The snow has melted and it is time to play,” said Ben.
Mother bear did not even move. She grunted and rolled over to carry on sleeping.
“What can we do?” asked Bessie. “We need our mother to wake up and take us into the forest to have some fun.”
The two little bears sat outside the cave and tried to think of a way to wake up their mum.
“I know, let’s get some tickly spiders and see if they will wake up our mother,” said Ben.
The two bears went to find some tickly spiders. Bessie was feeling a bit scared of the spiders but Ben collected them on a big leaf. He took them to where his mum was lying.
The spiders walked off the leaf and across Mother bear’s back. Mother bear giggled in her sleep, but she did not wake up.
“I think we should ask a noisy cuckoo,” said Bessie.
The bears went out to the trees near the cave.
Sitting in the tree was a cuckoo.
“Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo,” sang the bird.
The two bears asked the cuckoo to follow them back to the cave and call out to their mom.
“Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo,” sang the bird but mom just rolled over and carried on sleeping.
The two little bears did not know what to do. They had tried tickling, making a loud noise and calling out to mum.
“I know,” said Ben. “What about something she likes to eat?”
“Honey!” said the bears together.
Off they ran to a beehive. They talked politely to the bees and the bees gave them some honey. They ran back to the cave and tiptoed in to see if their mum would smell the honey.
Mum’s big brown bear nose began to twitch. Then her nose began to wiggle and she opened one eye. The baby bears took a few steps backwards.
Mother bear opened both her eyes and blinked. The baby bears took a few more steps back. Now they were up at the opening of the cave. Mother bear sat up and gave a big sniff.
“I smell honey,” she said.
Mother bear was awake at last. Ben and Bessie were so happy.
The little bears took a few more steps out of the cave and happily mother bear followed them. At last, they had found the best way to wake up mum!
Three happy bears skipped into the forest to enjoy the spring and have fun together.
2.
The Mighty MeetingWritten by Christina Wither
Illustrated by Dannaria
It was a hot, sunny day in Africa. Elephant was walking down the path on his way to his favourite water hole. He was looking forward to the cool water and a mud bath.
Lion was also walking along the path. Lion was on his way to the grassy plains. He was going to lie down and wait for his lunch.
Elephant turned the corner and lifted his trunk in the air. He smelt the water at the water hole. Lion turned into the same corner. He was getting closer to his favourite hunting spot.
Suddenly the two animals met in the middle of the path.
“Out of my way,” roared the lion.
“Out of my way,” trumpeted the elephant.
“Make way for the king of the jungle,” growled the lion.
“Certainly not! Where shall I go?” answered the elephant.
The path was blocked. The two strong animals stood facing each other.
The elephant would not move. The lion would not move.
Other animals began to walk along the path. Some were standing behind the elephant and others behind the lion.
Lion and elephant just stared at each other and refused to move.
A monkey came running past. He greeted the other animals. Then he reached the lion and the elephant. He looked at the fierce lion. He looked at the enormous elephant.
The monkey started to chuckle. He ran off into the jungle to get some ‘monkey vine’ that hung from the trees. He rushed back to the lion and the elephant.
“I know how to solve your problem,” said the monkey.
All the animals behind the elephant and the lion wanted to get a look at what was going on.
They saw the monkey arrive with a long piece of monkey vine.
He tied one end around the elephant and the other around the lion. He stood on an anthill nearby and shouted!
“Friends, we are going to have a tug of war. When I say ‘heave’ then it is time for the lion and the elephant to pull the monkey vine!”
“May the best animal win,” shouted the monkey.
Elephant was very strong and pulled hard at the rope. Lion dug his extra sharp claws into the path and pulled hard too.
Suddenly there was a clap of thunder! The animals looked up into the sky. They saw huge dark rain clouds. A storm was on its way.
Then Lion felt the first drops of rain. He let go of the monkey vine and ran off into the bushes.
“My mane, my beautiful mane. I combed it as smooth as silk this morning!” he cried.
Lion ran to hide under an Acacia Tortillas, the umbrella thorn tree.
“I win,” cried Elephant, as he stood in the rain. Elephant’s thick skin was like a raincoat.
He was not worried about getting wet.
Monkey hopped about with delight. He wanted Elephant to win.
Suddenly all the animals heard a mighty roar! “No, rain stopped play, there is no contest.”
Lion did not want the animals to think he had lost. No contest meant there was no winner.
Elephant nodded his head and walked down the path. He did not care if he got wet and he was looking forward to getting muddy too.
3.
Five Rats and a Funny Top HatWritten by Christina Wither
Illustrated by Dannaria
Samson, the big black cat, lay across the mat fast asleep. He was a very big, fat cat. Samson looked as if he was asleep, but he really had one eye open all the time.
Samson’s one eye was looking right at the hole in the wall where a family of rats lived. One, two, three, four and five little rats.
Five little frightened rats were peeping out from behind the hole in the wall. The five rats wanted to get away from the big, black cat.
Samson yawned and stretched and turned over to sleep a bit longer. The rats were quivering with excitement. Now was their chance to escape. One rat tiptoed out to cross the room. He started to run towards the door.
Suddenly the door opened! In walked a tall man wearing a top hat. The man threw the top hat onto a chair but it missed the chair and fell on the floor.
Samson jumped up and hissed. The rat ran back to his hole with the other rats. The chance to escape had gone.
Slowly Samson went back to sleep. The rats looked at the cat and then they noticed the top hat lying on the floor and it gave them an idea.
The rats nodded to each other as they made a plan. They would hide under the hat and see if they could sneak past the big, black cat. Carefully, one by one, they wriggled under the hat and waited.
The rats heard Samson snoring. They thought they would start to walk towards the door under the shelter of the hat. Slowly the hat slid across the floor.
The cat did not wake up.
The rats reached the door. It was open just enough for them to slip out and go on down the road. The hat, with the rats, went out of the door.
At the same time Samson woke up. His greedy eyes saw the hat moving across the steps and out of the door.
He jumped up and started to walk towards the door. The rats knew they would have to start to run.
The cat was getting closer and the rats could see no escape. Behind them was the cat and in front of them was the road and it led to a duck pond. Oh, what should they do?
Whoosh, a sudden gust of wind blew down the road. It tipped the hat over and the rats fell inside. They hung on tightly. What would happen now?
The hat blew down the road and into the pond. The rats peeped over the edge. They saw that they were floating on the pond. Now the hat was a boat!
Samson looked at the rats floating on the pond. He was very angry. He could not swim. The rats had escaped in their funny top hat.
The little rats laughed at the cat. Samson hissed and went home.
4.
The Spotty Grey KittenWritten by Christina Wither
Illustrated by Dannaria
Grady was a little, grey kitten. He had a white spot on his back and a black spot on his nose. Grady lived with his mum and two sisters on a farm.
Grady’s sisters were white with black spots. Both of his sisters were very good. Grady was the naughty one. He was always getting into trouble.
Grady was very adventurous. He wanted to explore the farm. One day he went out into the farmyard to see what was in the big wide world.
Grady said to himself, “I am not afraid of anything!”
Suddenly a big monster roared out of the garage and sent Grady spinning into the bushes. He did not know what had roared past. He picked himself up and decided it was time to go home.
Grady looked left and he looked right, but there was nowhere that looked like home. He was lost.
‘Oh dear,’ Grady thought.
‘Now what shall I do?’ He walked across a field and suddenly he stopped!
There in front of him was a furry, white animal with spots on its back. Grady thought it must be one of his sisters.
Grady ran up to the furry, spotted animal.
“Can you take me home?” asked Grady.
“No,” said the furry animal. “You do not belong in my home.
“Look at you, you do not have big ears and you do not hop like me,” said the furry animal.
Grady realized he did not belong with this animal. Grady ran to the farmyard where he saw another spotty animal. It was a bit bigger than Grady, but it had spots on its back.
Grady ran up to the spotty animal.
“Can I come home with you? You look just like me with all those spots,” said Grady.
The big animal grunted and jumped into a mud puddle.
“I have mud spots on my back. Come and roll in the mud if you want mud spots,” said the muddy spotty animal.
“No thanks,” said Grady. He did not want to get muddy. Grady ran away again.
Grady was getting worried. He was hungry too.
Then Grady saw another spotted animal. This animal had a loud voice.
“Ruff, ruff,” said the voice. “Can I help you?”
Grady just nodded. He felt himself being lifted up and carried away. A spotty dog had found Grady. He scratched at the front door. A little girl opened the door. She jumped up and down.
She was so happy to see the spotty dog and the kitten. She took Grady right back to his mother. She was lying in a basket in the kitchen.
Grady saw his mum and his two sisters. Grady listened to their soft purring.
“Purr, purr,” said the other kittens. They were happy too.
Grady was put back in his basket. He felt happy as he snuggled up with his family. He was safe now and he was going to get some milk for his supper.
Purr, purr, purr!
I hope you liked these stories. For a printable version of these stories, scroll to the FREE downloads at the end of the post.
Here are more short, bedtime stories for kids and here is some info on the importance of listening skills in early childhood.
These stories are written by Christina Wither and illustrated by Dannaria.
About the Author:
Christina Wither lives in the Natal Midlands of South Africa. She loves writing stories for children. She believes stories are a great way of empowering parents to connect with their children.
‘A story a day will bring happiness your way,’ says Christina, who especially enjoys writing quirky stories for the very young.
Christina is a co-writer for Empowered Parents and is also the creator of the awesome children’s brand Wart and Fish – Play and Learn.
- Share
7 Funny Night Time Stories To Read To Kids
Booklistsby Himanshu
Kids love stories. Period. I am yet to meet a kid who does not listen to stories with rapt attention, forgetting everything else. Every good story leaves the audience craving for more. And what better than those fun filled stories that make the kids burst into peals of laughter while giving them invaluable nuggets of wisdom.
That’s the power of storytelling. Here’s a list of 7 funny night time stories that your kid will love and transform her into a cheerful little devil.
7 stories to tickle your funny bone
- Foolish Lion and the Clever Rabbit – A famous Panchatantra story of a fearsome, merciless lion and a clever rabbit. The lion who killed animals for no reason is approached by all the animals of the jungle. They promise to send one animal to the lion, daily, to become lion’s meal. When the clever rabbit is told to go to the lion, he is determined to end the lion’s tyranny. Did the rabbit succeed? Find out in this funny story.
- The Intelligent Merchant – Merchant’s are known to be intelligent and shrewd. And why shouldn’t they be when their livelihood depends on it. Sometimes literally. A short and witty tale about a merchant who was “punished” for speaking his mind when everyone else in the king’s court resorted to sycophancy. The king ordered the merchant to give up everything he owns except his weighing scale and prove that – A merchant can never go hungry at night as long as he possesses the weighing scale.
Whether the merchant was able to prove it, remains to be seen.
- The Musical Donkey – In the animal world, a donkey is always portrayed as someone lacking brains. Despite its hardworking nature, a donkey is always shown as doing jobs that do not require much brains. Now whether a donkey actually lacks brain can be debated but the motive behind the entire portrayal is to demonstrate that raw strength alone does not make anyone valuable. To be respected, one needs to have brains and be able to apply it, when needed. The Musical Donkey teaches that a person should always consider the consequences of their actions.
- The Brahmin’s Dream – We are all dreamers in our unique ways. Dreaming is not bad. Infact, elders encourage us to dream because only when we dream, can we “act” towards achieving our dreams. Acting upon the dreams is very important. Day dreaming is never fruitful. Can the Brahmin, dreaming of becoming very rich in life, realize his dreams while sleeping? A fun-filled story that makes for a very interesting read to a group of children.
- The Mice That Ate Iron – It always amazes me how friendship can bring two people closer than the bond of blood. While we are related to scores of people by virtue of our birth, we are free to choose our friends. This freedom comes with a grave responsibility of choosing our friends carefully. It is said that a known enemy is less harmful than a false friend. This story teaches an important lesson in a funny tale.
- The King and The Drum – The King had a funny secret and he kept it from everyone in the Kingdom, even his Queen. But the barber had to be let in on the secret under oath of secrecy. However, secrets can’t be kept long, as the King discovered soon enough. And his secret came out in the most hilarious way imaginable. Read this story to find out!
- The Kettle Who Gave Birth – As kids we loved the antics of Nasreddin Hodja and his stories always brought us a hearty laugh. This is one of his best stories. We promise you will have the kids rolling on the floor in laughter as you tell them about the kettle who gave birth to a baby kettle.
Click on the link above and enjoy the stories.
funny stories funny stories for children funny stories for kids kids stories stories
You may also like
About the author
Himanshu
View all posts
Stories about children that are funny to tears
|
Son (12 years old) asks:
- What is the largest breast size?
Without really knowing it, I answer:
— Whatever you fantasize, it happens.
The small one thinks and says:
— Wow!!! nine0003
Reading a fairy tale about Baba Yaga with my granddaughter (4 years old). The granddaughter listened, listened, and then thoughtfully and said:
- You know, grandfather, Baba Yaga is not at all scary.
- Why?
- Well, look for yourself: she lives alone in the forest, she has no children, no grandchildren, an old hut, creaking on chicken legs, no bathroom, toilet in the bushes. She has nothing! She eats some mice, frogs, and all sorts of filth. She flies in a mortar or on a broom, which means she often catches a cold. And then there are the good fellows, having nothing to do, they run into her and then shoot her in the ass with an arrow, then they push her into the stove on a shovel. Here, Baba Yaga is harmful! And she's just an old and lonely grandmother. I feel sorry for her. nine0003
Dialogue with sleepy Slavik tonight. Just an intrigue worthy of Poirot:
- Mom, you know, it's good that I got sick. You don't have to go to kindergarten. There's only Masha...
- Who is Masha?
- Masha is such a girl in the kindergarten. Masha is very harmful. She says "No" all the time. I ask politely. I am a very polite boy. I say: “Can I please? ..” And Masha says: “No-no!”
— What are you asking her for?
- Pancake .
..
- Whose?
- Machine...
- Zaya, you can't take girls away from you! Did you have your own pancake too? nine0024 — No… My pancake was eaten… (tragic face)
— Who?
- Ilyusha!
— So he ate two pancakes: yours and his?
— No… His pancake was also eaten…
— Who?
Quietly:
— I… (very quietly) And I also ate Sasha's pancake…
The eldest son is 6 years old, the youngest is 2 months old. I change clothes for the little one, and Slavka looks at him and says:
- Oh, mom, he's all white like me! Can you imagine what would have happened if Tyoma had been born with black skin and black hair?
"I can't imagine," I say. nine0024 - Damn you, mom!
My daughter has a boy Vanya in the kindergarten, she likes him very much, she dreams of marrying him.
I make Masha change her pajamas, she can't take off her panties herself. I am swearing.
She asks her father:
— Vanya won't marry me? She'll tell me why I need her if she can't take off her panties herself.
..
Our dad laughed to tears. Difficult to answer.
Early in the morning, completely tired of waiting for her parents to wake up, Masha (3 years old) loudly chants:
- Ma-sha ho-chet ka-shu!
I must say that we are constantly fighting for the absorption of it. The remnants of my mother's sleep disappear, and a very non-pedagogical one breaks out:
- Masha! You are crazy?
To which the child confidently retorts:
— Yes! Masha is crazy! Ma-sha ho-chet ka-shu!
Roma and Bogdan are twins (10 years old). I'm calling home from work with an inspection. Bogdan picks up the phone. Me:
Did you have lunch?
- Yes.
- Are you lying?
- No!
- What did you eat?
- ...Soup!
- Call Roma better. nine0024 - Ro-o-oh! ..
A voice in the back of the apartment:
- Go, your mother is on the phone! We had lunch!
The husband is instructed to put his three-year-old son to bed. He lays himself down on the sofa and says to Danila:
- Come here!
- Why?
- We will sleep.
- I don't want to!
- Well, go, I'll read to you, bring a book ...
- Okay, I'll be right back!
Half an hour later I find my father fast asleep on the couch and my son trimming the cat's mustache...
— Leave the cat now! Why are not you sleeping? Well, go to bed with dad, I turn off the light! nine0024 The son understands that things are bad, grabs a book and starts pushing his father away:
— Dad! Dad! Why are you sleeping? You wanted to read to me!
Husband opening one eye with difficulty:
— Well… not to say that I really want to…
I ask my daughter (3 years old) how and what. Says:
- The teacher scolded me today!
— For what? Did you misbehave?
- No, fine. It’s just that when everyone was drawing, I quietly jumped on the table.
I have a friend, and a friend has a five-year-old son. A friend is studying at a party at the PMM, the baby has nowhere to go, she regularly carries him with her - the kid sits there on the back desk, draws, reads, plays quiet games.
This was the preface. History: we are going here the other day with a friend and a boy in a trolley bus. And on Kirov is a fabric store, in the window of which the letter “S” is lined with pieces of fabric. Malec, philosophically:
- Well, here ... Integrals were hung everywhere.
Some 40-year-old kid:
— Where are the integrals? What are integrals?
The kid shows:
- Out ... Well, the usual, indefinite.
— Why is it indeterminate?!
Malet, already tired of uncle stupidity:
- because the integration limits are not indicated ...
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
Recommended Articles:
0
0
Funny stories about children
Tell a funny story
pumba
My son (4 years old) comes from kindergarten, I ask what he did there. He answers me: they played parents with Gosha and Vika. Well, I think it has begun, soon the questions will be what, how, why .
..
Okay, I ask this question: well, who was dad?
Answers: Well, I was a dad... (I thought everything would go on logically, but no!) Gosh mom!!!
Me (shocked): What about Vika?
Son: and Vika is a dog!
Super kids play!
-2
-1
+1
+2
Alexander Igorevich
Asshole - how Vovka and I
A couple of days passed quietly. They dealt with the soldiers and fed them, collecting food for them for lunch "with the whole world." Vitka generally turned out to be a heroic guy. He did not hand over Vovka and me and attributed the whole incident to technical problems. For which, of course, he flew no less, but from us, to him "workers and peasants" thanks. Vovka and I remained innocent, although the grandmother looked suspiciously at us.
"Technical failure is you," she told us, but she had no evidence of our involvement. nine0024 Nothing happened in the village, because we were strictly prohibited from doing good deeds, or anything at all.
- I will sew your hands into your pockets so that they do not reach for anything. So you will walk like two penguins until the end of summer, - the grandmother promised us and sent us for a walk so that we would not interfere with her lunch.
Vovka and I went to look for a treasure in cow cakes. More precisely, Vovka was looking for, and with the help of a twig with a horn, I identified treasure-bearing ones. I no longer remember where I came up with this idea, but I remember that I was sure that there should be gold and precious stones in cow cakes. But further speech not about it. nine0024 Then I remembered a terrible story that my grandmother once told me.
There were two toilets in the house. One in the house, with almost all amenities (my father brought a toilet there at one time, but g @ obviously still fell down on a pile of straw), and the second in the garden, in the form of a separate building, meter by meter, with a door and a window in her, in the form of a heart.
..
Read more
-2
-1
+1
+2
Artist
Walked today with my son, 5 years old, on the street. We are already going home and decided to go to my father (his grandfather) in the garage, to find out how things are going with the repair. Father is distracted by us, sits on a chair, rests, communicates with us. The son begs him for a seat on a chair, citing the fact that he is small, walked a lot today and is tired. The father, out of harm, is not inferior, arguing that he is old, worked a lot today and is also tired))
They start haggling, they blow each other's brains out for a couple of minutes. The father asks:
- Misha, I'll give you a chair to sit, and what are you doing to me?
- Grandfather, and then I will give you a place to stand)
-2
-1
+1
+2
Hemul
...
I sit next to him, I think - here it is, the moment, now I will teach the Son of Life! .
.
- Wait, - I say heartfelt, - let's figure it out. What do you think - do you agree with him? nine0024 - Yes! Aaaa...
-2
-1
+1
+2
Natalya...
Once I come to the school, which I graduated from a long time ago, I go to the literature teacher.
And she told me the following story, literally a recent one (hereinafter from her words):
We are now going through "Woe from Wit" with the ninth grade. And so I’m teaching a lesson and thinking: what should I ask them about in order to put at least a three - because their faces are not marked with the seal of wisdom! Thinking, asking:
- Children! Why did Sophia prefer Molchalin to Chatsky?
The children hung their heads to one side and thought. And suddenly, on the first desk, Vanya, an angel with such curly hair, raises his hand:
- I know!
- Tell me!
- Because Molchalin stroked Sophia's face, but Chatsky didn't think of it!
I pick up my jaw from the floor and ask:
- Honey, where did you get that?
- In the text.
And he gives a quote, who can guess which one?
"And pet the pug in time."
I ask him:
- Honey, what is a "pug"? nine0024 And he answers me:
- And my mother often says to me - "go clean the pug, dirty."
-2
-1
+1
+2
serzh
Children are optimists by nature. He told his 3-year-old daughter a famous rattler:
“The old drummer, the old drummer,
the old drummer was fast asleep.
He woke up, rolled over
Lost three kopecks!...
That's the end of the fairy tale!”
The baby was indignant:
- Wrong ending! It is necessary: “He got up, brushed his teeth, put on glasses, found three kopecks and began to live with them, live, make good! nine0003
-2
-1
+1
+2
Really looks alike)
See photo fun
luda
Teachers from school come to the kindergarten to meet their future students from school.
After a general acquaintance, everyone together learns the song "We will survive this trouble." Teachers, turning to the kids: "Guys, what is a nuisance?"
Children: "Trouble is when mom doesn't buy ice cream, something breaks, they won't let you go for a walk..." and all that. nine0024 Egor (my friend's son): "That's when a lot of people gather in a room and fart - it's a nuisance."
Miracle child.
-2
-1
+1
+2
bundur
A girl of 5 years old. They play wife and husband with their brother. They took a toy, like a child, and put it to sleep ... They rustle, rustle, and then the small one squeaks: “B @ me, Kostya, hush f @ and! You'll wake up the little one!"
-2
-1
+1
+2
lga69
Another endless collection of stories about how to turn decent words into obscene ones. nine0024 Happy Soviet pioneer camp childhood. Pre-transitional age, i.
e. when swear words have already been learned to perfection, and interest in the opposite sex has not grown beyond pulling pigtails. The boys put the girls on the table in the room with a bottle of Mandarin soda, smearing the last 3 letters on the label. But the girls also knew swear words ... The next day in the boy's room there was a similar soda, only "Apple" and the last 2 letters were smeared over. There was nothing to cover.
-2
-1
+1
+2
Alexander Igorevich
After our trip, my zh@pa burned, and Vovka was covered with everything and a couple of fingers were swollen.
- Allergy. - Grandma said. - Still would. At least three kilograms of candy cx @ yarili in two snouts. So that you get diarrhea, and your eyes pop out on your forehead. It's gotta get to the point of chocolate. Grandfather, take a motorcycle from a neighbor and go for a doctor. We also need to look at the fingers of this sloppy. God forbid a fracture or a crack. It would be better if your f @ pa cracked.
nine0024 I, of course, tried to ask my grandfather. I really enjoyed riding in the cradle. You put a helmet on your head, pull up a tarpaulin and imagine that you are flying in a fighter jet. But the grandfather said that my head was from x @ ya, and not a fighter, and went to a neighbor. It would have been better if he had taken me with him...
Vovka was lying on the bed in Grandma's room and was ill. Well, how did you hurt? Nothing but his fingers hurt. Unless he was all in a small rash. I also remember how, as a child, I was sprinkled with red spots, and I walked all over in green dots. nine0024 - Are your eyes not popping out yet? I was interested in Vovka.
- No. Vovka answered. But something is already starting to hurt.
- No diarrhea yet?
I thought that I was not in danger, since I was not sprinkled, but I was afraid for Vovka.
Grandma went to her neighbor for an hour, hoping that during this time we would not burn down the house and fly into space. Because if we burn down the house, then she will stuff us with burning coals, and she worries less about space, because idiots are not allowed there.
We didn't want any coals, but we didn't intend to go into space...
Read more
-2
-1
+1
+2
Alexander Igorevich
- Have you forgotten anything? Mom took one last look at the apartment.
Still. Vovka and I were sent for more than two months to the village to stay with our grandparents. Two suitcases for two and another large bag of groceries.
- I don't understand. Why do you load bags with canned goods, sausages and other products every year, dad did not understand. - After all, anyway, she will hide everything in the pantry until “better times”. When will these better times come? nine0024 - Well, you know she'll be offended if we don't bring anything. I do know my mom. It’s not difficult for us, but it’s nice for her, ”my mother justified herself.
I have been sent to the country for the whole summer twice already. Vovka went there for the first time. This year he was already five years old and his parents considered that he, too, could be sent to the fresh air with me.
Deliver, so to speak, grandma and grandpa true, double pleasure.
- Let's sit down on the path.
Vovka and I sat on the same suitcase. Mom and dad on the second. There was a crash, and the suitcase under the parents broke into two parts. nine0024 - There you go. A bad sign, - mom was upset, getting up from the floor and collecting our things.
- Well, you can't even guess, - dad laughed, sitting on the floor. There will be two this year. So I don't envy your parents.
A few minutes later, instead of a suitcase, things moved into a sports bag, and we went to a taxi waiting for us.
- Do you feel sick in a taxi? - the driver turned to dad. - And then yesterday I drove my mother with a small one from the station, so he did all the back seat for me. Barely laundered...
Read more
-2
-1
+1
+2
Hayk Gaziaryan
him, will be naked.
If you have never heard of this, then congratulations - your childhood did not pass in Uzbekistan.
And in general, all the most interesting things in Central Asia happen through the blood of an animal.
I warn you right away, this story is not about how two anxious children discovered the Uzbek strain to the world. nine0003
After watching Terminator 2, my brother and I dreamed of x-ray glasses, but it seemed easier to kill a bat than to meet a cyborg in Samarkand: “I need your pilaf, tea and skullcap!”
Basically, slaughtering a bat sounds normal when your father sacrifices a ram to God every weekend in the yard.
You are no longer afraid of blood when at the scene of the murder your mother smears a red cross on the forehead of all the children.
Armenian traditions prepared us in advance for Uzbek bikes. nine0003
I don't know exactly where the craving to see a naked woman came from at such an early age, but I guess it all started when our parents closed our eyes during the #rhotic scene in Van Damme's film "Double Impact".
None of us have ever seen a naked woman, well, except for that scene with Van Damme.
.. It was a video cassette and we knew how to rewind it, so much so that that passage on the ship was completely erased.
Strip clubs in Uzbekistan have always been banned because it is indecent to throw plov at a dancer. nine0003
Fortunately, unlike naked women, there were a lot of bats in Samarkand...
Read more three. Dad broke a glass, mom said that for good luck, and parents laughed. Soon mom broke the plate, dad said good luck and parents laughed. I drew conclusions and when my parents left for a short time, I broke everything I could reach. The apartment was filled with the scent of happiness. In anticipation, I sat down to wait for the return of my parents. Mom cried, dad laughed, the system failed. This world is not so simple. nine0003
-2
-1
+1
+2
xanka139
Nephew of kindergarten age; does not know how to stand up for himself if they offend in the kindergarten or take away a toy, he will step aside or take another toy.
