Learn by colors
75+ Educational Activities for When You're Stuck Indoors
If you’re stuck indoors for whatever reason, try these educational activities to crack boredom.
Disclaimer: Some of the following links are affiliate links. I make a small commission from some of the links on this site. You can read my full disclosure here.
75+ Educational Activities for When You’re Stuck Indoors1. Watch historical movies (check out my lists for kids and teens)
Sign up for Curiosity Stream, which is like an educational Netflix, for only $2.99/month or a yearlong membership for only $20. They have so many great programs!
2. Play a board game (Life and Disney Monopoly are favorites)
3. Build famous landmarks from LEGOs
4. Learn about the basics of music theory with these apps
5. Create a song/rhyme/poem/rap/TikTok of what you’re currently learning about in school
6. Make your own Apples to Apples
7. Create art inspired by famous paintings
8. Learn about the phases of the moon with Oreos
9. Create a marble run
10. Re-enact a famous historical event
11. Make your own board game
12. Listen to podcasts
13. Create your own podcast
14. Make a food common in a foreign country
15. Make ice cream in a bag
16. Create interactive notebooks
17. Try educational games
18. Build a fort
19. Trade video games/movies with a friend
20. Have a math scavenger hunt around your home (you can use it with newspapers or magazines)
21. Memorize the periodic table (in a week)
22.
Make a cake inspired by the layers of the earth
23. Put together a puzzle
24. Start learning a foreign language (my Spanish learning journey)
25. Make a ninja warrior course
26. Try drawing with this 30 day challenge
27. Build gumdrop structures
28. Have a photoshoot. Edit photos.
29. Make a shadow box
30. Make edible play dough
31. Make a music video. Edit it.
32. Build a website (here’s how I started my website when I was 14)
33. Read historical books
34. Learn secret spy codes
35. Try cup stacking
36. Watch these cool science movies/documentaries
37. Try Jenga with random objects
38.
Look at ads from different historical time periods (sorted by category)
39. Make golden ticket cookies, then watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory!
40. Start coding
41. Make a kindness tree
42. Make an obstacle course
43. Cook or bake
44. Try these faith-based object lessons
45. Make a stop motion video
46. Get creative with sight words and handwriting
47. Have a coloring contest
48. Try bowling at home
49. Create your own escape room
50. Make constellation maps
51. Try these free educational online games/activities
Please note: These are just websites I have used in the past or have had them recommended to me. Some may have memberships or free trial periods.
Learn in Color is not affiliated with any of them. If you have problems with the below sites, please contact the individual site.
52. Have a blindfolded candy taste test
Blindfold the kiddos and have them guess the candy flavor, chip, soda, or candy bar!
53. Learn Braille
54. Try these free 14 day challenges for cooking, photography, drawing, and more
FUN SCIENCE EXPERIMENTSThese experiments are fun, easy, and don’t require too many items.
55. Make magic milk
56. Make fluffy slime
57. Create color changing flowers
58. Learn about vortexes (with glitter)
59. Learn about the electrolysis of water
60. Try the elephant toothpaste experiment
61. Learn about sound by creating a DIY phone speaker
62.
Learn about the layers of the ocean
63. Make a heart pump model
64. Make a paperclip float
65. Create a rain cloud in a jar
66. Make a classic baking soda volcano
67. Make a tornado in a bottle
68. Try this How well do you wash your hands? experiment
For Tweens and Teens69. Play Scrabble, Life, chess, or Monopoly
70. Learn a new skill
71. Try magic tricks
72. Learn the alphabet in sign language
73. Binge watch a new show
These are some of my favorite YouTube series which are both entertaining and educational. They’re overall clean, perhaps some bleeped out language, but they’re very interesting!
74. Wired’s “One Concept at Five Levels” is also interesting.
They have a neuroscientist, musician, physicist, and more.
75. CrashCourse’s channel has fun and entertaining videos that are 10-15 minute “crash courses” on topics.
76. Watch the most-watched Ted Talks (they’re great!)
77. Wired has a series of fun videos where experts break down clips from famous movies, like a lawyer watching courtroom scenes, a forensic examiner watching crime clips, a pro chef watching cooking scenes, or Bear Grylls watching survival scenes.
78. Learn how to budget
If you’re struggling with helping your students in grades 4-8 understand terms, I created these cheat sheets to help break concepts down in a visually beautiful way.
The “cheat sheets” concept began with colored pens in my notebook in elementary school! 🙂
7 Secret Spy Codes and Ciphers for Kids with FREE Printable List
If you have a budding spy on your hands, help them learn these 7 fun spy codes! Plus, grab the free printable.
Disclaimer: Some of the following links are affiliate links. I make a small commission from some of the links on this site. You can read my full disclosure here.
From the Spy Kids trilogy to Nancy Drew, kids love adventure, secrets, and mystery! Try these 7 secret spy codes for kids: Morse code, pigpen, phonetic alphabet, tap code, substitution ciphers, letters for numbers, and American sign language.
These codes can work for a variety of ages. They can be made easier for younger students, and more advanced for older! You can also incorporate history, social studies and even government into some of these!
1. Morse Code
Morse code was invented in the early 1800s by Samuel Morse. It is a method made up of dots and dashes, and it can be used to transmit messages across wires through beeps. Morse code has played a major use in wars, specifically World War II, and is even still used today!
The signal “SOS” (three dots, three dashes, three dots) has been used to signal for help in emergencies.
Blinking Morse code has even helped captured POWs secretly relay messages.
Learn Morse code by practicing tapping it, listening to it, or blinking it!
2. Pigpen Cipher
Also known as the the masonic cipher, the Freemason’s cipher, Napoleon cipher and the tic-tac-toe cipher, each letter is represented by a symbol, as described below. Nobody really knows who invented it, but it surfaced around the 18th century. With this, A would be _|, B would be |_|, C would be |_ and so forth.
To get a better idea of how to use pigpen, check Cryptii out. Enter your text, and get it “translated” into pigpen!
3. Phonetic Alphabet
The NATO phonetic alphabet is used for transmitting messages across radios, since individual letters could easily be confused over a radio. The US has had a phonetic alphabet since World War I, but it has since changed many times, based on what was easiest to relay.
If you’re having trouble relaying something across the phone, try this phonetic alphabet! For example, if you wanted to say STOP, you would say Sierra, Tango, Oscar, Papa.
4. Tap Code
For those who don’t know Morse code, tap code is an easy way to transmit messages. Tap code doesn’t rely on the short and long sounds of dots and dashes. Instead, it just relies on “taps.” American prisoners of war in Vietnam are the best known example of tap code.
Held in isolation, prisoners were easily able to relay messages between cells, to correlate stories during interrogation. When prisoners were together but could not speak to each other, tap code was a way for them to relay messages, by tapping on the person’s thigh or arm.
With this grid system, you identify the row number and then the column number. For example, A would be “1-1” – one tap, a pause, and then one tap. B would be one tap, a pause, and then two taps. O would be three taps, a pause, and then four taps. X is often used to separate sentences.
During dinner, use tap code underneath the table to relay messages like spies!
5.
Letters for Numbers
For a super simple coded message, relay messages by giving each letter a number that corresponds to its alphabetical order!
For example, SAM would be 19-1-13. LOVE would be 12-15-22-5.
Type in a word here to get the word in numbers!
6. Substitution Ciphers
Substitution ciphers can come in many different forms – your cipher can be the alphabet backwards, a random order of letters, or even random symbols!
If your cipher was the alphabet backwards, A would be Z, B would be Y, and so forth. (Here’s the full alphabet cipher for that)
Some ciphers can be more tricky. You can use the half-reversed alphabet method, where letters are the opposite as their reversed half. G is T, and T is G. L is Y, and Y is L. Check it out here.
For even other ciphers, your “key” could be a random word with unique letters; cat, word, or publish could work.
For the word “publish,” the cipher would look like this:
Alphabet: abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
Cypher: publishacdefgjkmnoqrtvwxyz
A would be P, C would be B, and so on. The rest of the alphabet is like normal, except the letters in your chosen word are taken out and placed at the beginning!
Use this cipher-cracker; generate a random key, or make your own.
7. American Sign Language
American sign language (ASL) can be great for quickly communicating secret messages from far away, through glass, or out of earshot of others! I learned sign language in early elementary school, and have never forgotten the alphabet!
Check out Lifeprint’s full ASL alphabet, where you can also print their resources for personal (home or classroom) use.
Grab this free Spy Codes for Kids printable to have fun exploring different spy codes!
Presidents Escape Room – Use the above codes and learn about the presidents with this presidents escape room you can do at home! With low prep and an hour of fun, super sleuths will need their thinking cap on for this challenging and fun.
Spy Science by Jim Wiese – combine spy codes and science with this book of 40 code-cracking, sleuthing activities for kids, from invisible ink to creating a secret alarm.
USA Secret Code Puzzles for Kids – Practice solving secret codes with these puzzles! It also combines history, geography, and more!
Top Secret: A Handbook of Codes, Ciphers and Secret Writings by Paul Janeczko – Written with middle schoolers in mind, learn the difference between codes and ciphers, how to make and break codes, and more in this fun upbeat book! It also has some history sneaked in!
The Scarlet Stockings Spy by Trinka Hankes Noble – In this picture book, it’s Philadelphia 1777, with a tough political climate. Young Maddy Rose uses her stockings to serve as a spy for George Washington’s army!
What are your favorite spy codes? Have you learned any of these?
Mikhail Bulgakov Heart of a Dog Read
learning to read absolutely useless when the meat smells like that from a mile away.
However (if you live in Moscow, and at least you have some brains in your head), you Willy-nilly, learn to read and write, moreover, without any courses. Out of forty thousand Moscow dogs, unless some perfect idiot will be able to put together from letters the word "sausage".
Sharik began to learn by flowers. As soon as he was four months old, all over Moscow hung green and blue signs with the inscription MPO - meat trade. We repeat, all this is useless, because the meat is already heard. And confusion times occurred: equal to the bluish caustic color, Ball, smell who was hit with gasoline smoke by the engine, rolled into the store instead of meat electrical supplies of the Golubizner brothers on Myasnitskaya Street. There at brothers dog tasted insulated wire, it will be cleaner cabbie whip. This famous moment should be considered the beginning Sharikov education. Already on the sidewalk, Sharik immediately began to think that "blue" does not always mean "meaty" and, pinching from the burning pain in the tail between the hind legs and howling, remembered that on all meat the first on the left is a golden or red raskoryaka, similar to a sled.
Next, went on more successful. "A" he learned in the "glavryba" on the corner of mokhovaya, then "b" - it was more convenient for him to run up from the tail of the word "fish", because at the beginning of the word there was a policeman.
tile squares, facing corner places in Moscow, always and inevitably meant "cheese". The black faucet from the samovar, heading the word, denoted former owner of "chichkin", mountains of Dutch red, animals clerks who hated dogs, sawdust on the floor, and the most vile, foul-smelling backstein.
If played on harmonica, which was little better than "dear Aida", and smelled of sausages, the first letters on the white posters folded extremely conveniently into a word "indecent ...", which meant "indecent words not to speak and not to give tea." Here, sometimes fights boiled up like a screw, people were punched in the face, sometimes, in rare cases, with napkins or boots.
If hung in the windows stale ham hams and tangerines lay.
.. Go-go-go... Ga... Stronomy. If dark bottles with bad liquid... We-and-wee-on-a-guilt... Eliseev brothers former.
Unknown the gentleman who dragged the dog to the door of his luxurious apartment, located in the mezzanine, rang, and the dog immediately raised his eyes to the large, a black card with gold letters hanging on the side of a wide, glazed wavy and pink glass doors. He added the first three letters at once: pe-er-o "pro". But then there was a pot-bellied two-sided rubbish, it is not known what signifying. "Is it really a proletarian"? Sharik thought with surprise... "It can't be." He turned his nose up, sniffed his fur coat once more, and confidently thought:
No, here the proletarian doesn't smell. A learned word, but God knows what it means.
Behind pink glass an unexpected and joyful light flashed, shading the black card even more. The door swung open quite noiselessly, and a beautiful young woman in white apron and lace cap appeared before the dog and his master.
First divine warmth radiated from them, and the woman's skirt smelled like a lily of the valley.
That's it, that's me I understand, thought the dog.
- Please, sir. Sharik, ironically invited the gentleman, and
ball reverently complained, wagging his tail.
great multitude objects were heaped up in a rich antechamber. I immediately remembered the mirror before the floor itself, immediately reflecting the second worn and torn Sharika, terrible deer antlers in height, countless fur coats and galoshes, and an opal tulip with electricity under the ceiling.
- Where are you like that did you, Philip Philipovich? - Smiling, the woman asked and helped to shoot a heavy fur coat on a black-brown fox with a bluish spark. - Fathers! Until what lousy!
- You're talking nonsense. Where is the lousy one? - Strictly and abruptly asked the gentleman.
After taking off his coat, he turned out to be in a black suit of English cloth, and on his stomach he was joyfully and the golden chain glittered faintly.
- Wait a minute, don't turn around, fuck... Don't turn around, fool. Hm!.. These are not scabs... Wait a minute, damn... hmm! Ah. This is a burn. What kind of villain scalded you? BUT? Yes you stand Attention!..
Cook, convict cook! - The dog said with plaintive eyes and howled slightly.
- Zina, - commanded the gentleman, - to the examination room immediately and my dressing gown.
The woman whistled snapped her fingers and the dog, after a little hesitation, followed her. They are together they got into a narrow, dimly lit corridor, one lacquered door passed, came to the end, and then hit the left and ended up in a dark closet, which the dog instantly did not like with its ominous smell. Dark clicked and turned into a dazzling day, and from all sides sparkled, shone and shone.
Uh, no, - mentally the dog howled, - excuse me, I won’t give in! I understand, damn it, take them with their sausage. It was me who was lured to the dog hospital.
Now castor oil will be forced to eat and the whole side will be cut with knives, but you can’t even touch it anyway.
- Oh, no, where? - The one who was called Zina screamed.
The dog turned around spring back and suddenly hit the door with his healthy side so that it cracked all over apartment. Then, flew back, spun in place like head over heels under a whip, moreover, he turned a white bucket on the floor, from which you scattered. In time spinning around him, the walls fluttered, lined with cabinets with shiny tools, a white apron and a distorted woman's face jumped up and down.
- Where the hell are you? shaggy? .. - Zina screamed desperately, - that damned one!
Where is their black stairs? .. - the dog thought. He turned around and hit at random in a lump glass, in the hope that this is the second door. A cloud of fragments flew out with thunder and with a ringing, a pot-bellied can with a red muck jumped out, which instantly flooded the entire floor and stink.
The real door opened.
- Stop, s-cattle, - shouted the gentleman, jumping in a dressing gown, put on one sleeve, and grabbing the dog by the legs, - Zina, hold him by the scruff of the scoundrel.
- Ba ... Fathers, here so dog!
Opened even wider door and another male person in a bathrobe burst in. crushing broken glass, she rushed not to the dog, but to the closet, opened it and filled the whole room with sweet and nauseating smell. Then the person fell on the dog from above with his stomach, and the dog enthusiastically nipped it higher than the laces on his boot. The personality groaned, but not lost. The nauseous liquid took the breath of the dog and in the head he began to spin, then his legs fell off and he went somewhere crooked to the side. Thank you, it's over, - he thought dreamily, falling right on the sharp glass: - Farewell, Moscow! I will not see more Chichkin and proletarians and Krakow sausage. I'm going to heaven for dog's patience.
brothers, flayers, why are you me?
And then he finally rolled over on its side and sighed.
******
When he was resurrected, he was slightly dizzy and a little bit sick in his stomach, while his sides as if it had not happened, the side was sweetly silent. The dog opened his right languid eye and I saw from the edge that he was tightly bandaged across his sides and stomach. "Still done, you sons of bitches, he thought vaguely, justice."
- "From Seville to grenada ... In the quiet twilight of the nights," the absent-minded and fake voice.
The dog was surprised, completely opened both eyes and two steps away saw a man's foot on a white stool. Her trouser leg and underpants were pulled up, and her bare yellow shin was smeared dried blood and iodine.
Pleasers! - thought dog, - it became to be I bit him. My job. Well, they will fight!
- "R-received serenades, the sound of swords is heard!" Why did you bite the doctor, tramp? Huh? Why did you break the glass? BUT? Woo - plaintively
the dog whined.
- Well, okay, I came to my senses. and lie down, fool.
- How do you did you manage, Philipp Philippovich, to lure such a nervous dog? - Asked a pleasant masculine voice and the tricot underpants rolled down. Smell of tobacco bottles clinked in the closet.
- Weasel, sir. The only way that is possible in dealing with a living being. Terror nothing can be done with an animal, at whatever stage of development it may be stood. This I affirmed, I affirm and I will affirm. They think in vain that terror will help them. No-sir, no-sir, it won't help, whatever it may be: white, red and even brown! Terror completely paralyzes the nervous system. Zina! I bought this scoundrel Krakow sausage for one ruble and forty kopecks. Take the trouble to feed him when he stops vomiting.
crunched out glass and a female voice coyly remarked:
- Krakow! Lord, yes, he had to buy scraps for two kopecks in meat. I'd rather eat the Krakow sausage myself.
- Just try. I eat you! It is a poison for the human stomach. Grown up girl, how child you drag all sorts of filth into your mouth. Do not dare! Warning: neither I nor Dr. Bormental will not bother with you when your stomach is seized... "To all who say that the other here is equal to you...".
Soft fractional bells rained down at that time all over the apartment, and in the distance from the front deed voices were heard. The phone rang. Zina has disappeared.
Philip Philipovich threw a cigarette butt into a bucket, buttoned up his dressing gown, in front of a mirror on the wall straightened his fluffy mustache and called out to the dog:
- Fuck, fuck. Well, nothing, nothing. Let's go take it.
The dog climbed unsteady legs, swayed and trembled, but quickly recovered and followed behind the fluttering skirt of Philip Philipovich. Again the dog crossed the narrow corridor, but now I saw that it was brightly lit from above by a rosette.
When the lacquered door opened, he entered with Philipp Philippovich into the office, and he blinded the dog with his decoration. First of all, he was all blazing with light: burned under the stucco ceiling, burned on the table, burned on the wall, in glass cabinets. Light flooded a whole abyss of objects, of which the most amusing turned out to be a huge owl sitting on a bough on the wall.
"Lie down," ordered Philip Philipovich.
Opposite carved door opened, he entered, bitten, now found himself in in bright light, very handsome, young with a sharp beard, handed over a sheet and said:
- Former...
Immediately silently disappeared and Philipp Philippovich, spreading the hem of his dressing-gown, sat down at a huge written the table immediately became extraordinarily important and representative.
No that's not hospital, somewhere else I ended up, - the dog thought in confusion and leaned on the carpet pattern by the heavy leather sofa, - and we explain.
..
The door gently opened and someone entered, so startling the dog that he barked, but very timidly...
- Shut up! Ba-ba, yeah you can not be recognized, my dear.
Entered very he bowed respectfully and embarrassedly to Philip Philipovich.
- Hee hee! you are a mage and sorcerer, professor,” he said embarrassedly.
- Take off your pants my dear," commanded Philipp Philippovich, and got up.
Lord Jesus - thought the dog, that's the fruit!
On the head of a fruit completely green hair grew, and at the back of the head they shone in a rusty tobacco color, wrinkles spread on the face of the fruit, but the complexion was pink, like a baby. The left leg did not bend, it had to be dragged along carpet, but the right one jumped like a child's nutcracker. On board the most magnificent jacket, like an eye, stuck out a precious stone.
From the interest of the dog even nausea passed.
Whoa, whoa! .. - He barked lightly.
- Shut up! Like a dream, darling?
- Hehe. We are alone, Professor? It's indescribable, - the visitor spoke embarrassingly. - Password d'onner - 25 years of nothing like this, - the subject grabbed the button of his trousers, - Would you believe it, professor, every night there are naked girls in packs. I positively impressed. You are a wizard.
- Hmm, - anxiously Philip Philipovich chuckled, peering into the guest's pupils.
He finally mastered with buttons and took off his striped trousers. Under them were never seen before pants. They were cream-colored, with black silk embroidered on them. cats and smelled of perfume.
The dog could not stand the cats and barked so that the subject jumped.
- Ai!
- I'll take you out! Not Be careful, he doesn't bite.
- I do not bite? - The dog was surprised.
From pants pocket who entered dropped a small envelope on the carpet, on which was a beautiful woman with flowing hair is depicted.
The subject jumped bent down, picked it up, and blushed deeply.
- You, however, look," Philipp Philippovich said warningly and gloomily, threatening finger, - after all, look, do not abuse!
- I'm not evil... - The subject muttered embarrassedly, continuing to undress, - I, dear professor, only as an experience.
- So what? What kind results? asked Philip Philipovich sternly.
Subject in ecstasy waved his hand.
- 25 years old, I swear god, professor, nothing like that. The last time in 1899 in Paris on rue de la paix.
- Why do you turned green?
alien face clouded.
- Cursed fatness! ("Fat" - a Soviet institution for the manufacture cosmetics). You cannot imagine, professor, that these loafers slipped me instead of paint. Just look, muttered the subject, looking for a mirror with his eyes. - They need to be beaten in the face! - Fierce, he added. - What should I do now, professor? he asked tearfully.
- Hmm, shave your head.
- Professor, - plaintively exclaimed the visitor, - but they will grow gray again. In addition, I the service of the nose will not be shown, I have not been driving for the third day already. Eh, professor if you open
way to and hair rejuvenate! - Not immediately, not immediately, my dear,
Philip muttered. Filippovich.
Bending down, he with shining eyes examined the patient's bare stomach:
- Well, - lovely, everything is fine. I didn't even expect, to tell the truth, such a result. "A lot of blood, a lot of songs...". Get dressed darling!
- "I'm the one that all are more charming! .. "- in a rattling voice, like a frying pan, he sang the patient and, beaming, began to dress. Putting himself in order, he, bouncing and spreading the smell of perfume, he counted out a wad of white money to Philipp Philippovich and gently began to shake both his hands.
- For two weeks you can not show yourself, - said Philip Philipovich, - but still I ask you: be careful.
- Professor! - From behind the door, a voice exclaimed in ecstasy, - be completely calm, - he giggled sweetly and disappeared.
Loose bell flew around the apartment, the lacquered door opened, a bitten man came in, handed Filipp Filippovich a leaflet and declared:
- Years shown not properly. Probably 54-55. Heart sounds are muffled.
He disappeared and changed rustling lady in a hat famously twisted to one side and with a sparkling necklace on a flaccid and chewed neck. Strange black bags hung under her eyes, and her cheeks were doll-ruddy color. She was very worried.
- Madame! How old are you years? - Philip asked her very sternly
Filippovich.
The lady was frightened and even turned pale under a crust of blush.
- I'm a professor I swear if you knew how much drama I have!..
- How old are you, madam? repeated Philipp Philippovich even more sternly.
- Honestly.
. Well, forty-five...
- Madam, - cried Philip Philipovich, they are waiting for me. Please don't delay. You are not alone!
Chest ladies violently uplifted.
- I'm the only one for you luminary of science. But I swear it's such a horror...
- How old are you? - Philipp Philippovich asked furiously and shrillly, and his spectacles gleamed.
- Fifty one! - Writhing with fear answered the lady.
- Take off your pants, ma'am," said Philip Philipovich with relief, and pointed to a tall white scaffold in the corner.
- I swear, professor, - muttered the lady, unfastening some buttons on her belt with trembling fingers, this Moritz ... I confess to you, as if in spirit ...
- "From Seville to grenadas..." Philipp Philippovich sang absently and pressed the pedal in marble washbasin. The water rustled.
- I swear to God! - The lady was talking, and living spots were tearing through the artificial ones on her cheeks, - I know - this is my last passion.
After all, this is such a villain! Oh professor! He card cheat, all of Moscow knows this. He can't miss a single vile milliners. He's so damn young. - The lady muttered and threw out from under noisy skirts crumpled lace tuft.
The dog is perfect clouded and everything in his head went upside down.
Well, to hell with you - he thought vaguely, laying his head on his paws and drowsing from shame, - and try not to I will understand what this thing is - I still don’t understand.
He woke up from the sound and I saw that Philipp Philippovich threw some kind of shining pipes into the basin.
spotted lady, pressing her hands to her chest, she looked hopefully at Philipp Philippovich. Thats important frowned and, sitting down at the table, wrote down something.
- I'm for you, madame, I'm inserting the ovaries of a monkey, - he announced and looked sternly.
- Oh, professor, are they monkeys?
- Yes, - adamantly answered Philip Philipovich.
- When is the operation? - The lady asked in a pale voice and in a weak voice.
- "From Seville to grenada..." Uhm... On Monday. Go to the clinic in the morning. My assistant will prepare you.
- Oh, I don't want to clinic. Can't you, professor?
- You see, I have I do surgery only in extreme cases. It will be very expensive - 50 Chervonets.
- I agree, Professor!
Thundered again water, a hat with feathers waved, then a bald as a plate appeared, head and embraced Philip Philipovich. The dog was dozing, the nausea was gone, dog enjoyed the subsided side and warmth, even snored and managed to see a piece good sleep: as if he had torn a whole bunch of feathers from the tail of an owl ... Then an excited voice yapped overhead.
- I'm too famous Moscow, prof. What should I do?
- Lord, - Philipp Philippovich shouted indignantly, "You can't do it like that. Gotta hold back myself.
How old is she?
- Fourteen, Professor... You understand, publicity will ruin me. One of these days I should get overseas business trip.
- Yes, I'm not lawyer, my dear... Well, wait two years and marry her.
- I'm married, professor.
- Oh, gentlemen, gentlemen!
The doors were opening faces changed, instruments rattled in the closet, and Philipp Philippovich worked, hands down.
Nice apartment. - I thought the dog, but how good! What the hell did he need me for? Is it really leave to live? Here's the weirdo! Why, he only blinks his eye, he would be like that got a dog, what to gasp! Or maybe I'm beautiful. Apparently, my happiness! BUT this owl is rubbish ... Insolent.
finally dog woke up in the deep evening when the bells stopped and just at that the moment when the door let in special visitors. There were four of them at once. All young people and all are dressed very modestly.
What is needed for this? - The dog thought in surprise.
Much more Filipp Philippovich greeted the guests hostilely. He was standing at the desk and looked at those who entered, as a commander looks at his enemies. The nostrils of his hawk nose bloated. Those who entered stomped on the carpet.
- We are to you, professor, - one of them spoke, who on his head towered on a quarter of an arshin of thick curly hair - that's what business ...
- You, gentlemen, in vain go without galoshes in such weather, - Philip interrupted him admonishingly. Filippovich, - firstly, you will catch a cold, and, secondly, you have inherited my carpets, and all my carpets are Persian.
The one with the mop fell silent and all four stared in amazement at Philipp Philippovich. Silence lasted several seconds and was interrupted only by the sound of Philip's fingers Filippovich on a painted wooden dish on the table.
- First of all, we don't gentlemen, - said, at last, the youngest of the four, peach-looking.
“Firstly,” interrupted his Philip Philipovich, are you a man or a woman?
The four fell silent again and opened their mouths. This time the first one with the shock came to his senses.
- Who cares, comrade? he asked proudly.
- I am a woman, - confessed the peach youth in the leather jacket and blushed heavily. After for some reason, one of those who entered, blushed in the thickest way - a blond in papakha.
- In that case, you you can remain in your cap, and you, dear sir, I ask you to take off your a headdress, said Philipp Philippovich impressively.
- I'm not merciful to you sir, - the blond declared sharply, taking off his hat.
- We came to you - again started black with a mop.
- First of all - who this is us?
- We are new house management of our house, - the black man spoke in restrained fury. - I - Shvonder, she is from Vyazma, he is comrade Pestrukhin and Sharovkin.
And here we are...
- They put you in Fyodor Pavlovich Sablin's apartment?
- Us, - answered Shvonder.
- God, it's gone. kalabukhov house! - Philipp Philippovich exclaimed in despair and splashed hands.
What are you, professor? are you laughing?
What am I laughing at? I in complete despair, - shouted Philip Philippovich, - what will happen to steam heating?
- Are you kidding me, Professor Preobrazhensky?
- What case are you on? come to me? Speak as soon as possible, I'm going to have lunch now.
- We, the management of the house, - Shvonder spoke with hatred, - they came to you after the general meeting tenants of our house, on which there was a question about compacting apartments home...
- Who stood on whom? - Philipp Philippovich shouted, "Make the effort to express your thoughts more clearly."
- The question was about seal.
- Enough! I understand! You know that by the decree of August 12, my apartment is freed from any seals and resettlements?
“It is known,” he replied.
Shvonder, - but the general meeting, having considered your question, came to the conclusion that, by and large, you are taking up excessive space. Absolutely excessive. You alone live in seven rooms.
- I live and work alone in seven rooms,” answered Philipp Philippovich, “and I would like to have an eighth. She is I need a library.
Four were dumbfounded.
- Eighth! E-he-he- said the blond, devoid of a headdress, however, this is great.
- It's indescribable! - The young man, who turned out to be a woman, exclaimed.
- I have a receptionist - mind you - it's a library, a dining room, my office - 3. Observation room - 4. Operating room - 5. My bedroom - 6 and maid's room - 7. In general, not enough ... Yes, however, it does not matter. My apartment is free, and the conversation is over. May I go to dinner?
"I'm sorry," he said. the fourth, similar to a strong beetle.
"I'm sorry," interrupted his Shvonder, - that's it about the dining room and the observation room that we came talk.
The general meeting asks you voluntarily, in the order of labor discipline, refuse to eat. There are no canteens in Moscow.
- Even at Isadora Duncan, the woman called loudly.
With Philip Something happened to Filippovich, as a result of which his face turned tenderly crimson. and he did not utter a single sound, waiting for what would happen next.
- And from the lookout also, - continued Shvonder, - the observation deck can be perfectly connected with office.
"Uh-huh," said Philip. Filippovich in a strange voice, - but where should I eat?
- In the bedroom, - in chorus All four responded.
Philip's Crimson Filippovich took on a somewhat grayish tint.
- Take in the bedroom food,” he began in a slightly strangled voice, “read in the examination room, the receptionist to dress, operate in the servants' room, and inspect in the dining room. It is very possible that Isadora Duncan does just that.
Maybe she's in the office dines, and slaughters rabbits in the bathroom. May be. But I'm not Isadora Duncan! .. - Suddenly he roared and his crimson turned yellow. - I will have lunch in the dining room, and operate in the operating room! Convey this to the general assembly and humbly I ask you to return to your affairs, and give me the opportunity to accept food where all normal people take it, that is, in the dining room, and not in front and not in the nursery.
- Then, professor, in view of your stubborn opposition, - said the excited Shvonder, - we We will file a complaint against you with higher authorities.
- Yeah, - said Philip Philipovich, - so? - And his voice took on a suspiciously polite shade, - I'll ask you to wait a minute.
"Here's the guy, the dog thought in delight, - all in me. Oh,
he's grabbing them now oh, it's poking. I still don't know in what way, but it bites like that... Beat them! This take the ankle now higher than the boot by the hamstring .
.. Rrr..."
Philip Philipovich, knocking, picked up the phone and said into it like this:
- Please... Yes... Thank you. Please ask Peter Alexandrovich. Professor Preobrazhensky. Pyotr Alexandrovich? I'm very glad I caught you. Thank you, healthy. Petr Aleksandrovich, your operation is cancelled. What? Completely cancelled. Just like all other operations. That's why: I stop working in Moscow and in Russia in general... Now four people have entered me, one of them is a woman, disguised as a man, and two armed with revolvers and terrorized me in apartment in order to take away part of it.
- Allow me, professor, - Shvonder began, changing his face.
- Excuse me... I have there is no way to repeat everything they said. I am not a hunter of nonsense. Suffice it to say that they offered me to give up my examination room, in other words, put me in the need to operate you where I still slaughtered rabbits. Under such conditions, I not only I can, but I don't have the right to work.
Therefore, I stop the activity, I close my apartment and leave for Sochi. I can give the keys to Shvonder. Let him operates.
Four froze. Snow melted on their boots.
- What to do... I myself am very uncomfortable ... How? Oh no, Peter Alexandrovich! Oh no. More I don't agree so much. My patience has run out. This is the second time since August. month. How? Hm... Whatever. At least. But only a condition: by anyone, whenever, anything, but that there is such a piece of paper, in the presence of which neither Shvonder nor anyone else could even come to the door of my apartment. Careful paper. Actual. Real! Armor. To name not even mentioned. It's over. I died for them. Yes. Please. By whom? Yeah... Well, that's another matter. Yeah ... I'm handing over the phone now. Be kind - snake Philip Philipovich turned to Shvonder in a voice, - now they will be with you talk.
- Allow me, professor, - Shvonder said, now flashing, then fading, - you have distorted our words.
- Please don't use such expressions.
Shvonder confusedly took cap and said:
- I'm listening to. Yes... The chairman of the house committee ... No, they acted according to the rules ... So the professor and so quite an exceptional position... We know about his work. As many as five They wanted to leave rooms for him... Well, all right.. So... All right...
Completely red, he hung up and turned around.
How spat! Well guy! - The dog thought admiringly, - what does he, the word, or something, know such a thing? Well now beat me - as you like, but I won’t go anywhere from here.
Three open mouths looked at the spat upon Shvonder.
- It's a shame! - He did not speak with his own voice.
- If it were now discussion, - the woman began, agitated and blushing, - I would prove Petr Alexandrovich...
- I'm sorry you didn't minute want to open this discussion? Philipp Philippovich asked politely.
Woman's eyes caught fire.
- I understand your irony, professor, we will leave now ... Only I, as head of the cult department home...
- Head-blowing, - Philip Philipovich corrected her.
- I want to offer you - here a woman from her bosom pulled out several bright and wet from the snow magazines - take a few magazines in favor of the children of Germany. Fifty dollars thing.
- No, I won't take it, - Philip Philipovich replied curtly, glancing sideways at the magazines.
Perfect amazement was expressed on the faces, and the woman was covered with a cranberry coating.
- Why are you refuse?
- I do not want.
- you don't sympathize German children?
- Sorry.
- regret fifty dollars?
- Not.
- So why not?
- I do not want.
They were silent.
- Do you know, professor, - the girl spoke, sighing heavily, - if you were not European luminary, and you would not be interceded by the most outrageous way (the blond pulled her by the edge of the jacket, but she waved it away) of the face, which, I am sure, we will explain later, you should have been arrested.
- For what? - FROM Philip Philipovich asked curiously.
- You are a hater the proletariat! - Proudly said the woman.
- Yes, I don't like of the proletariat,” Philipp Philippovich agreed sadly and pressed the button. Somewhere rang. The door to the corridor opened.
- Zina, - shouted Philip Philipovich, - serve dinner. Will you, gentlemen?
Four silently left out of the office, silently passed the reception room, the hallway and could hear how behind them the front door closed heavily and noisily.
The dog stood on the rear paws and did some kind of prayer in front of Philip Philipovich.
| The dog crawled like a snake on its belly, shedding tears. Pay attention to the chef's work. But you won't give anything. Oh, I know rich people very well. And in fact, why do you need it? Why do you need a rotten horse? You will not get such poison anywhere else, as in Mosselprom. The enigmatic gentleman leaned towards the dog, flashed the golden rims of his eyes, and pulled out a white oblong bundle from his right pocket. Without taking off his brown gloves, he unwound the paper, which was immediately seized by a blizzard, and broke off a piece of sausage called "Special Krakow". And fuck this piece! Oh, selfless person. Woo! “Fit-fit,” the gentleman whistled and added in the strictest voice: “take it!” Sharik, Sharik! "Balloon" again! Baptized! Yes, call it what you want. For such an exceptional act of yours ... The dog immediately tore off the peel, bit into the Krakow one with a sob and ate it in no time. At the same time, he choked on sausage and snow to tears, because from greed he almost swallowed the rope. “It will be for now,” the gentleman spoke so abruptly, as if he were commanding. He leaned over Sharik, looked inquisitively into his eyes, and unexpectedly ran his gloved hand intimately and affectionately over Sharikov's belly. “Yeah,” he said pointedly, “I don’t have a collar, well, that’s fine, I need you. Follow me,” he snapped his fingers, “fit-fit! Should I follow you? Yes, to the ends of the world, kick me in the snout with your felt boots, I won’t utter a word. Lanterns shone all over Prechistenka. The side hurt unbearably, but Sharik sometimes forgot about him, absorbed in one thought, how not to lose in the turmoil of a wonderful vision in a fur coat and somehow express his love and devotion to him. And seven times throughout Prechistenka to Obukhov Lane, he expressed it. He kissed his little boat, at Dead Lane, clearing the way, with a wild howl he so frightened some lady that she sat down on a pedestal, howled twice to maintain self-pity. Some kind of bastard, made to look like a Siberian, tramp cat emerged from behind a drainpipe and, despite the blizzard, smelled Krakow. The dog Sharik did not see the light at the thought that a rich eccentric, picking up wounded dogs in the gateway, what good, and this thief will take with him, and he will have to share the Mosselprom product. Therefore, he so clattered his teeth at the cat that with a hiss, similar to the hiss of a leaky hose, he climbed up the pipe to the second floor. Frrrr… wow… out! You won't be able to save up Mosselprom for all the riff-raff roaming around Prechistenka! The gentleman appreciated the devotion of the fire brigade itself, at the window, from which the pleasant grumbling of the French horn could be heard, awarded the dog with a second piece, smaller, five spools. Eh, weirdo. He is the one who tempts me. Don't worry, I won't go anywhere myself. I will follow you wherever you tell me to. - Fit-fit-fit, here! In Obukhov? Do me a favor. – Fit-fit! This way? With pleasure... Eh, no! Excuse me. Not! Here is the doorman. And there is nothing worse than this. Many times more dangerous than a janitor. Absolutely hateful breed. Crap cats. Flayer in a lace! - Don't be afraid, go! - I wish you good health, Philip Philipovich. - Hello, Fedor. What a personality! My God, who did you put me on, my dog's share? What kind of person is this who can lead dogs from the street past the porter into the house of a housing association? Look, this scoundrel makes no sound, no movement. True, his eyes are gloomy, but in general he is indifferent under the band with gold galloons. It's like it's supposed to be. Respect, gentlemen, how respectful! Well, I'm with him and behind him. What touched? Take a bite. That would be a poke at the proletarian callused leg. For all the bullying your brother. With a brush, how many times have you mutilated my face, huh? – Go, go. We understand, we understand, don't worry. Where you are, there we are. You only show the path, and I will not fall behind, despite my desperate side. From the stairs down: - Have you received any letters to me, Fyodor? From below to the stairs - respectfully: - No way, Philipp Philippovich. (Intimately in an undertone in pursuit): And they moved the housing comrades into the third apartment. An important canine benefactor turned sharply on the step and, leaning over the railing, asked in horror: - Well? His eyes widened and his mustache stood on end. The doorman from below lifted his head, put his hand to his lips and confirmed: - Exactly. A total of four pieces. - My God! I imagine what will be in the apartment now. Well, what are they? - Nothing, sir! - And Fedor Pavlovich? - We went for the screens and for the bricks. Barriers will be installed. - The devil knows what it is! - All apartments, Philip Philipovich, will be moved in, except for yours. – What is being done! Ay-yai-yai… Fit-fit… I'm going, sir, I'm in a hurry. Bok, if you please, makes himself known. Let me lick my boot. The porter's galloon disappeared downstairs, a breath of warmth from the pipes blew on the marble platform, they turned again, and here was the mezzanine. 2 There is absolutely no point in learning to read when the meat smells like that from a mile away. Nevertheless, if you live in Moscow and have at least some brains in your head, you willy-nilly learn to read and write, and, moreover, without any courses. Out of 40,000 Moscow dogs, is it possible that some complete idiot can't spell the word "sausage" out of letters? Sharik started learning by colors. As soon as he was four months old, green and blue signs were hung all over Moscow with the inscription “M.S.P.O. Meat trade. We repeat, all this is useless, because the meat is already heard. Then it went even more successfully. "A" he learned in "Glavryba" at the corner of Mokhovaya, and then "b" (it was more convenient for him to run up from the tail of the word "fish", because at the beginning of the word there was a policeman). Tiled squares lining the corner places in Moscow always and inevitably meant "S-s-r". 
|
And you had breakfast today, you are a value of world importance, thanks to the male gonads ... Woo-oo-oo ... Why is this done in this world? It can be seen that it is still too early to die, but despair, and truly, is a sin? Lick his hands, nothing else remains. 
Still, still lick your hand. Kiss your pants, my benefactor! 
This lane is very well known to us. 
Now there was a meeting, a resolution was passed, a new partnership. And the former in the neck. 
And the confusion once occurred: matching the bluish caustic color, Sharik, whose sense of smell was clogged with gasoline smoke from the engine, instead of a meat one, drove into the Golubizner brothers' electrical supplies store on Myasnitskaya Street. There, with the brothers, the dog tasted insulated wire, and it will be cleaner than a cab driver's whip. This famous moment should be considered the beginning of Sharikov's education. Already on the pavement, right there, Sharik began to realize that "blue" does not always mean "meat", and, pinching his tail between his hind legs and howling from burning pain, he remembered that on all meat meat the first from the left is a golden or red raskoryak, similar to on the sled, - "M". 
