Power of mom
Support for Moms - Power of Moms
by April Perry on 9 Comments
Power of Moms is taking a sabbatical! After 13 years of creating and sharing content from deliberate mothers worldwide, we are stepping back to celebrate and assess our role in the future of deliberate mothers through our work at Power of Moms. Thank you for all of your support, your wisdom, and the effort you put […]
by Amy Makechnie on 2 Comments
Children just might be the messiest people on the planet, but they are also the best plants I’ve ever produced. Perhaps a little mess is how the best things grow.
by Julia Aziz, LCSW-S, CCH, Rev. on Leave a Comment
The time has come for women to support other women in trusting themselves. We don’t need to cut each other down, compete, or compare. We’re in this together, raising the next generation. If there were one way to do things and one way only, it would be known by now.
by Allyson Reynolds on 15 Comments
Keeping tweens and teens busy during the summer can be challenging–they need more than just one pool day after another. Allyson Reynolds knows a big part of summer fun for teens and tweens can actually be found in challenging, meaningful experiences, and she has five great ways to keep tweens and teens happy and productive all summer long.
by Michelle Checketts on Leave a Comment
I love my kids and I love spending time as a loud and crazy family, but I also have a need for some peace and quiet to stay sane. The winter, spring, and summer breaks from school are especially challenging times to find space for silence.
by Allyson Reynolds on 8 Comments
When you leave your husband home with the kids, do you come home to a disaster zone? I often hear mothers complaining in a “joking” manner how their husbands can’t handle daily family life. Just remember this, motherhood isn’t an easy job.
by Brandon Porter on 2 Comments
In moments of parenting exhaustion, knowing that a date night is on the calendar can spark your energy to set out the seventeenth snack of the week or trek across the store with a nearly full cart for one more potty break!
by Amanda Hamilton Roos on 4 Comments
What if there was a way that you could really remember those heart-melting moments of motherhood? In this interactive post, author Amanda Hamilton Roos invites you to send a postcard to your future self.
by Charlotte Barnes on 1 Comment
I believe that making our ancestors come alive to our children has power. They will feel they are part of something bigger. They will feel secure when their own lives get crazy and when bad things happen in the world. They will feel confident that they can succeed.
by Kristyn Morgan on 8 Comments
Recently I joined a Facebook group designed to help its members realize their goals. I struggled to set a goal that seemed significant enough, but I learned that maybe I didn’t need to.
by Haley Oakes on 5 Comments
I never intended to be someone who moved around often. As a young girl, my life goal was to live within walking distance to my mother my entire life. But—as is so often the case—things have not gone according to plan.
by beth wilkison on 2 Comments
Sometimes in the midst of the storm it is difficult to find reasons to dance. Read about one mother’s experience in finding joy despite frustration and setbacks.
Power of Moms Radio | Support for Moms
“I’ve finally found a way to make folding laundry enjoyable… listening to Power of Moms podcasts while I tackle those mountains of clothes! It makes the time fly by and makes matching up socks a pleasure (ok, perhaps I wouldn’t go that far). I just wanted to say thanks for all you are doing.” –Jeanette Millward
“Just a few weeks ago I started listening to the podcasts and they are encouraging, motivating, give great ideas and information, help me have more confidence in my abilities as a mom, and most importantly (to me) they help me not be so hard on myself and to lose the guilt. I have realized I’m not alone in my feelings about various aspects of motherhood – during podcasts things are expressed and my jaw literally drops that there is another mother out there has a similar feeling about something.
Keep the podcasts coming!” –Shannon Bryant
“Your podcasts are awesome. I listen when I go running and it is like running with a friend. I actually look forward to my exercise when I have a podcast from you to listen to! Thanks for being wonderful and keep up the great work!” — Ingrid Sorensen
“I started listening to your podcasts in December (while I fold laundry. Of course, right?). The solidarity alone is wonderful, but you have also shared some great life philosophies and helpful parenting advice. I heard about these from a friend, and you have quickly become my favorite podcast! I was so excited to see a new one waiting for me today. Thank you so much for all you do–I already feel so much better as a person, and I really feel that several of these podcasts have already changed the way I approach my daily life with my kids in such a positive way. I so appreciate you! Thank you!” –Jamie Walton
“I love to listen to your podcasts when I’m washing dishes or making a meal.
Often what you talk about is an issue I’m thinking about and mulling over. But even if you’re not talking about something already on my mind, listening puts me in a mindset to do some problem solving. That happened for me today. You were talking about something unrelated, but my mind went to my concern about how to keep my 8-year-old occupied during her brother’s piano lesson that afternoon. (Yes, I know a silly, small concern but a concern, nonetheless.) We have to travel a little bit for music and so we end up hanging out there in that part of town. Lately she’s been so bored with playgrounds and doesn’t want to do homework, and it becomes a frustrating time for both of us. As you were chatting on the podcast, the thought came to me to bring her sketch book and colored pencils. It was a perfect solution. She did some drawing (her love) and got some space from people (which I think she needs after school) while I played hard on the playground with my toddler. He loved my attention and I was reminded how much more I need to take advantage of time with him at this age to just make him laugh.
As I was loving that moment with him, I thought, I need to say thank you. So thank you. Thank you for reminding me of the kind of mother I want to be.” – Alice-Anne Johns
“I recently learned that in addition to the two well known gut responses—fight or flight—scientists have discovered a third: freeze. As a new, young mom (my daughter is almost nine months), I was frozen. I just felt so stuck in trying to address the immediate needs that come frequently with a baby that it seemed impossible to tackle and conquer bigger, ever-present challenges in my new role. To make matters worse, the longer I stood frozen, the easier it was for depression to settle in and attempt to take root. And that’s when MY HUSBAND discovered Power of Moms podcast and suggested I listen. Ohhhh my. I thought I was alone in my struggles, but immediately I was hearing all of my challenges and frustrations voiced by other women. My own very thoughts coming through the speakers of my smartphone. Yet, all of those concerns were coupled with such hope and positivity and realistic suggestions that I was able to unstick and move onward and upward again.
Things aren’t perfect around here. I don’t expect them to be. However, things are happier because I am happier. Thank you so much. Your words and experiences have helped me and my family more than you know. With all the love and hope in the world,” Kristen B.
About the role of mother in the life of a child
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How to raise a child?
The role of a mother in a child's life
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- 7-12 years old
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Motherhood is not only boundless and unconditional love for your child, but also a special responsibility that falls on the shoulders of a woman. This responsibility lies in understanding what maternal strength is, how the mother's behavior affects the formation of the child's personality, how attention should be paid to oneself.
How is motherhood so different from other roles? To be a mother is to completely give up your desires, or does a woman who has given birth to a child still have the right to live as she sees fit? These questions on International Mother's Day are answered by a well-known blogger, author of books about motherhood and femininity, Olga Valyaeva.
Mom is safety
Mom is the only person around whom a child experiences the greatest comfort and peace of mind. In the presence of the mother, the child feels under her protection, so he relaxes and is not afraid to be himself. Under strangers, the child constantly has to adapt, adapt, and when his mother is nearby, he is not afraid to seem ridiculous or ridiculous.
Feeding off the sense of security that the mother provides him, the child gradually learns to build his own relationship with the world. He ceases to be afraid of ridicule and condemnation, as well as the possibility of making mistakes. This is an invaluable experience.
A mother is a guarantee of a full-fledged childhood
A mother is not only a guarantor of the child's safety, but also provides him with one more protection - the protection of his right to be a child. Children, next to whom their mother is, are not afraid to run, jump, play, be active and do the usual "childish" things, among which there are certainly pranks.
A child growing up next to his mother can afford to explore the world around him by any means available to him, since his mother protects him from the outside world, allows him to fully enjoy the charm of a carefree childhood and does not rush to grow up.
Mom is life values
A child's life priorities, values, behavior and habits are formed in accordance with parental behavior. Since the mother is closest to him, it is her behavior that significantly influences the formation of stereotypes in the child of how to behave.
If a mother smokes and drinks beer on the playground, and a few years later she will explain to her child that smoking and drinking is bad, the child simply will not understand her, because the idea has already strengthened in his mind that such behavior is normal.
It is important not only what the mother does when the child is around, but also how she behaves without him. Therefore, it is important for every mother to learn to look at herself from the side in order to understand how her children see her.
Mom is a model of relationships
Children in most cases “take over” the model of parental relationships, so it is most likely that if the mother had a happy marriage, then the daughter will follow this example.
A mother only needs to be the woman she wants to see her daughter in the future, or the woman she wants to see next to her son.
Children are surprisingly sensitive to the relationship between their parents, even if it seems that they still do not understand anything about it. Not a single dissatisfied grimace, not a single bad word spoken in the hearts, not a single attempt to lie pass by the children. They all perfectly see, feel, and subsequently copy.
Mom is love
Love must be able not only to receive, but also to give. This is the most important parenting lesson.
Observing the behavior of the mother, the child asks himself several questions, the answer to which gives him an idea of what is included in the concept of "love":
- Can a mother truly love without addiction?
- Does she divide the people around her into groups: she loves some, hates others, treats others with indifference?
- How can you characterize her love: is it excessive care, relative indifference, or serving the interests of the child?
- What words can describe this love?
- Does she like to love, is she ready to give freely and enjoy it?
- Can her love be called selfless or does she expect something in return?
Being a mother is not only a great responsibility, but also a great happiness.
I am a Parent sincerely congratulates my readers on International Mother's Day!
Victoria Kotlyarova
What kind of mother are you?
What is your idea of an ideal relationship with a child and what is better, to patronize and pamper, control or let go “free swimming”? Listen to yourself and answer the questions of our test, and you will be able to determine what kind of mother you are.
Take the test
The strength of a mother in her children
Natalia Gaizatulina: “A sunny child” in the family is not a punishment, but difficult happiness”
didn't give up on the baby. For several years she has been going through life with her head held high and sharing the secret of her strength with the parents of the same special children.
Red diploma and daughter on the same day
Natalia, when did you find out that your child is special?
- Although my pregnancy was unplanned, Katya is the first and desired child.
I am 21 years old. I graduated from the institute, wrote a diploma, it was very difficult. During the day I protected him, and in the evening I was taken away in an ambulance. I graduated from the institute with a red diploma, and the fact that I was nervous on the day of defense may have provoked premature birth.
I found out that my baby had Down syndrome a few hours after the birth. At first, I didn’t understand the diagnoses, which they probably read to me for half an hour. She just listened and kept quiet. At the end, they asked if you are ready to raise such a child? I said yes. There were no proposals from the doctors to refuse, it was a plus for me.
I was lucky that my parents supported me. The husband at that time did not yet realize what it was like to raise a special child. In general, everyone cheered me up. A large council of relatives gathered. We decided that the long-awaited child is ours anyway.
I had never encountered this before, and there was not even a thought about Down's syndrome.
The birth itself was difficult. The child spent a week in intensive care. My daughter was in a serious condition at that time, and it was important for me that she survived, everything else was secondary.
You took on such a responsibility - to raise a "sunny child". Why do you think, then, 80% of parents refuse children with Down syndrome?
- Because of the condemnation of society. Now I communicate a lot with mothers who have children with Down syndrome. It is sad to hear when parents want to raise their child, but grandparents or relatives do not accept such a baby. Much depends on the medical staff in the maternity hospital. Very often, doctors immediately offer to refuse such children.
I don't like being judged and I don't like judging people. Probably, for those who refuse a sick child, at that time this is the only solution. It happens that my mother has no money, nowhere to live ... I have no right to judge them. However, every action has certain consequences.
When a special baby is born in a family, parents need support, communication with more experienced moms and dads. Where to find like-minded people in Chita?
- After a year, we started going to a private chiropractor, where they gave us the phone number of one mother, who also has a "sunny child". A married couple invited us to visit her so that we could just see her children and ask questions. As a result, we became so good friends that we have been together for seven years. They help parents with such children in special centers: "Dar", "Rostok", "Lad", in the resource center "Steps".
Our mothers in Chita created a regional public organization to support people with disabilities with Down syndrome and their families "Our World" - for help and advice, you can contact there (phone: 8-914-522-27-14). We are friends with many members of the organization, we communicate, we celebrate holidays together. Children communicate with each other, many go to school together.
I know a mother who attended meetings with other parents, saw what awaited her, and eventually abandoned the child. The baby ended up in an orphanage and died there. Perhaps this happened precisely because of the lack of parental attention. Such children are born weak, they need support.
There was another case. The parents abandoned the baby, but when he was four years old, they took him back to the family. Now he is the most beloved child.
I carry my problem like a red banner
How is caring for a “sunny child” different?
- If there are no concomitant diseases, at first everything will be exactly the same for mom and dad as when caring for a normal newborn. If we don't treat our child like a sick child, everything will be fine. Up to a year, these are ordinary children. Many adults, not knowing the diagnosis, do not even notice that the child is special.
Have you encountered negative attitudes of others towards Katya?
- It used to be.
In the clinic, for example, I asked something again, and they answered me: what do you want if you have such a child? When we came to the same doctors year after year, my self-esteem increased, my self-confidence grew. One of our mothers says: "You carry your problem like a red banner - you walk with your head held high." And pride is bursting that your special child is developing and also knows a lot.
Do you pay much attention to the development of your child?
- When special children grow up, all their processes are slowed down. So I tried to start everything as early as possible. She gave toys when there was no reaction to them yet. If an ordinary baby can be put on his tummy at two months and show some objects, monitor his reaction, then in our case the child did not seem to notice anything and just lay head down. In order for the child to turn his head and understand that he had to hold it, he had to ring the bell. That is, it is necessary to systematically repeat the same actions.
Another peculiarity of "solar children": if they are used to something, it is difficult to wean them from it later. Therefore, we tried to immediately show some positive examples.
When your daughter was little, what was the most difficult thing for you?
– Learn to walk. Katya went when she was two years old two months - a year late. It was not easy to carry a heavy child (along with clothes, she weighed 15 kg) up to two years old. For this, I even came up with various auxiliary devices.
The chewing reflex in such children develops late. Later, compared to ordinary children, teeth grew, it took a long time to grind all the food. Due to the fact that there were problems with the heart, they were afraid to give physical activity. It was impossible even to jump and jump. This resulted in slow physical activity.
In addition to everyday difficulties, it was morally difficult that it was difficult to make a dialogue with a child. Such children usually do not start talking well.
When a child wants something, it is difficult to understand what exactly he needs from you. Studied sign language. Sometimes I was even annoyed that I had to do a lot and for a long time for the child.
The difficulties were due to the attitude of those around us. When Katya was two years old, and there was no talk yet, acquaintances kept asking: “What doesn’t she say?”, “Why is she like that?”. I had to explain again and again. For the first year of Katya’s life, I sometimes got lost with such questions, I didn’t know what to answer, then I learned to react, to admit that we had such a defect. After a year, the phrases appeared by themselves. I began to say: I have a special child, so we develop according to a different scheme, but everything works out for us. That is, I gave myself an optimistic setting.
Mom is motivated by a child
Is it true that many husbands leave families if a special baby is born?
– And in ordinary families it happens that after the birth of a child, husbands cannot endure difficulties and leave.
Men are weaker than women. When a new family member appears, the woman's attention switches. My husband and I also had domestic problems. Therefore, I simply took responsibility for my daughter. I have been assertive since high school. Once such a “task” is given, it must be carried out.
Not everyone can cope with trials. How strong are mothers of special children in spirit?
- All strong. Each has its own destiny. Some children with Down syndrome are raised without a husband. Someone has two or three children besides a special child. The child is motivated to overcome difficulties. When you put a lot of effort and efforts, and then you see the result, it is very inspiring. The child went, began to read - it is so motivating that you feel like a great person! The peculiarity of the "sunny children" is that they are very devoted and grateful.
What is your daughter like, what does she like to do?
– She is at school this morning.
He likes to sit at the tablet, play, watch educational films that are shot by ordinary mothers with their children. About where they go, what they buy, how they play with the child. In films, he knows all the characters. Like cartoons. He loves to dance very much. Katya is a sociable girl, but with character.
We go to a special boarding school. There is an individual approach, the classes are small, children in the same class with different diagnoses, teachers pay due attention to each student. Katya adapts in society.
We had the opportunity to go to a regular school, but most of my daughter's friends went to a correctional school, and we didn't want to separate them. I took into account that Katya gets used to strangers for a very long time. Especially to children. At the boarding school, children not only study according to the program, they have special care, they are taught to clean, make the bed, wash, wash the dishes. The girls have a sewing business. Katya is there during the day, and in the evening I take her home.
If we went to a regular school, most likely the teacher would not pay much attention to her, because there are still many students in the class. During the break in a regular school, children are not looked after. At our school, the teacher walks with the children during recess.
Are you afraid that Katya might be offended by children? How do you learn to respond to rudeness?
– I teach her how to defend herself. Giving back even though she won't give it back. The first one will never hit. She is a kind child, but she has her own character. If she doesn't like a person, she won't play with him or talk to him. I am glad that she has her own position, her own opinion.
In a few words, what kind of mother are you?
- Strict and at the same time not obsessed with her child. I teach my daughter to be independent. I am a busy person, I have a lot of things to do as an individual entrepreneur. Therefore, I try to plan everything clearly: time for my daughter, time for work.
