Skills for preschoolers

Preschool provides your child with the opportunity to broaden and deepen their essential skills which will ready them for a life of learning and empower them to make positive contributions to the world around them. 

Here are ten skills your child should develop in preschool:

1. Emotional Development
   Your child’s preschool experience should contribute to helping them to understand his or her feelings as well as understand the feelings of others. 
   This includes both learning to recognize feelings and to manage those feelings and their associated behaviors.
    
2. Social Skills
   Through collaborative play and learning alongside each other, preschool children learn how to respect and get along with others which further develops their language skills, self control and overall social skills.  
   Teachers guide children through resolving conflicts that may arise during creative play or structured learning projects. 
    
3. Early Literacy Development
   By the age of three, children can begin to learn to write their names and read simple words.
   The practice they receive during preschool sets them up for success in literacy development in kindergarten and elementary school.
    
4. Listening Skills
   To be able to follow directions and to understand what is being taught to them, a child’s development of their listening skills is crucial to their overall social and academic learning. Preschool environments promote activities that grow your child’s listening skills.
    
5. Communication Skills
   Your child’s ability to ask questions, express their feelings and convey their needs, both through spoken words and through body language are of utmost importance to their ability to succeed socially and academically.
   Preschool activities and their teacher’s feedback are designed to hone all of these communication skills.
    
6. Fine Motor Skills
   Preschool-level craft activities which require children to use markers, work with scissors, sculpt objects and other dexterity-focused creative play develops children’s fine motor skills which will be necessary for more complex projects as they get older.
    
7. Attention Span
   We all can sympathize with how difficult it is for young learners to sit still and pay attention for more than a few minutes.
   The structured but nurturing environment of a preschool is key for children to develop their attention spans in preparation for the more challenging classroom environments ahead.
    
8. Early Math Skills
   Learning to recognize numbers and begin counting things during preschool helps children to begin to comprehend how mathematics is used in the world and provides their foundation for each subsequent year’s more complex mathematical curriculum.
    
9. Problem-Solving Skills
   Every aspect of life demands problem-solving skills. Foundational to success in school, personal relationship and in even life’s simplest of activities, problem-solving skill development should begin in preschool.
   Teaching and stretching children’s problem-solving skills can occur through personal interactions, games and assignments.
    
10. Creativity
    When a child is encouraged to self-express through creativity, they build confidence in themselves and can approach challenges from new perspectives.
    Creative activities help children to develop their individual sense of self and can be a way for the adults in childrens’ lives to celebrate each child’s uniqueness.
     

At preschools where children are given a great deal of personalized attention, such as ours at Cornerstone Christian School in Harrisonburg, VA, teachers ensure your children are supported in every area of their learning.

According to the individual and unique interests of each child, preschool teachers design lessons, educational games and other activities that engage and grow your children’s love for learning and support your child’s development in all of the skills described above.

Preschool teachers also ensure that the Early Learning Standards of their state are applied to classroom curriculum. 

These are standards which state what children are expected to know and to be able to do by a certain age. You can view more the Virginia Department of Education’s early childhood curriculum and instruction. 

Here are a few examples of the ways preschool teachers help children to develop age-appropriate skills:

Thinking Skills Development:

• • Ask children questions that will expand their thinking
  • Provide opportunities to explore engaging materials 
  • Suggest ways children can make their thinking and playtime more challenging or complex

Language Skills Development:

• • Introducing new vocabulary
  • Asking questions that require more than a yes or no answer to stretch your children’s use of spoken language
  • Reading stories and encouraging children to make up their own storylines
  • Designing collaborative games that require conversations or other language exchanges among classmates

Reading Skills Development:

• • Supporting children in learning the alphabet
  • Providing engaging materials that illustrate examples of writing
  • Singing songs, playing rhyming games and reading books with fun language
  • Labeling items in the classroom to help children connect written words with spoken language

Writing Skills Development:

• • Helping children to practice writing letters of the alphabet and spelling their names
  • Encouraging children’s writing by providing a fun assortment of paper and writing tools
  • Giving children different kinds of paper and writing tools, like crayons, markers, and pencils
  • Encouraging children to write as part of their everyday activities
  • Teaching children to spell words of objects they encounter in the classroom

Math Skills Development:

• • Providing assorted engaging objects for children to count and sort
  • Point out numbers that exist throughout a child’s day: inside the classroom, outdoors and on food packages during snack time
  • Encourage children to compare and measure different objects

At our Christian Pre-K school in VA, we offer students a variety of ways to grow as individuals and to feel a true sense of belonging as a member of their class.  

Cornerstone Preschool operates in accordance with the regular Cornerstone Christian School calendar. Hours of operation are 8:30 a.m.–3:05 p.m. Monday through Friday. 

Scheduling within that time period is flexible, based on the needs of students and their parents. Children who are 5 and older can also attend Cougar Care, an afternoon daycare program which is available from 3:05 to 5:30.

Visiting us in person is the best way to understand the investment of a lifetime that you can make for your child’s future through enrollment in our Christian school. 

Let us host you for a private visit, or, stop by during one of our open houses. If you have any questions before your visit, you can contact our Development Director Stephanie Shafer directly by email at [email protected] or by phone at (540) 432-9816. 

We look forward to welcoming you!

The 10 Most Important Skills for Preschoolers

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The first 6 years of a child’s life is the time when all the foundational skills are being developed. These are carried into the formal schooling years.

This post contains affiliate links for educational products that I personally recommend. If you purchase through one of them, I earn a commission at no extra cost to you. Read the terms and conditions for more details.

Read on to find out what the most important developmental skills for preschoolers are and how parents and teachers can build them through play.

They are based on my experience in the classroom as well as the great insights in the book “Language and School Readiness“, written by Martie Pieterse.

Visual perception is the ability to interpret what the brain is seeing. This is a very important skill for learning to read, write and do mathematics and should be developed in early childhood.

Visual perception includes visual discrimination, visual memory, perception of shapes, and visual analysis and synthesis.

Try these kinds of activities:

• Show your child 5 items, then cover them and ask your child to name the items (develops visual memory).
• Play a picture memory game (get your own in the set of free printables at the end of the post) or Snap card game.
• Spot the differences in two similar pictures (develops visual discrimination).
• Match, sort and categorize shapes, blocks, beads, etc.
• Make a picture using basic shape cut-outs.

Auditory perception is the ability to interpret and attach meaning to sound. It is important for reading, spelling and language development.

Auditory perception includes auditory discrimination, auditory memory, auditory foreground-background perception, and auditory analysis and synthesis.

Try these kinds of activities, where the focus is on listening to specific sounds in words:

• Learn lots of rhymes, poems and songs.
• Play games with rhyming words e.g. Do these two words rhyme? Which word doesn’t fit this list? (develops auditory discrimination).
• Play “I went to the zoo and I saw a ____”, each time adding a word to the list (develops auditory memory).
• Play games with sounds in words e.g. What sound do you hear at the beginning of dog? or “I Spy something that starts with a fff” (develops auditory awareness).

This includes auditory perception, but also the ability to understand and follow instructions. Learning to listen is a very important skill, not just for learning to read, but for coping with all aspects of schooling.

Play games that focus on listening attentively for information:

• Play the Broken Telephone game.
• Say a string of commands and ask your child to follow them all in order.
• Clap a sequence or make a series of sounds on a drum and ask your child to repeat it.
• Play a game where your child listens to you say a list of words and must say which doesn’t fit (e.g. a list of animals with a fruit in the middle).

Language involves listening and speaking. Children must develop their speaking skills in order to learn to read and write, understand the world, convey information, socialize, express their feelings and play.

Well-developed auditory skills are a prerequisite for developing good speaking skills.

These activities develop speaking and language skills:

• Talk to your child often to develop their speaking skills (grammar, vocab, etc.)
• Discuss your child’s day at school, events, friends, etc.
• Chat about interesting topics often (e.g. what sharks eat or how trees grow) and introduce a variety of new vocabulary.
• Ask your child many questions to elicit personal opinions.

Children develop their large muscles before their small muscles. The first few years of a child’s life should be packed with opportunities to develop these gross motor skills.

Examples of gross motor activities are:

• Lots and lots of outdoor free play (especially on climbing frames).
• Obstacle courses in the garden.
• Playing catching and chasing games.
• Action rhymes and songs.
• Games involving hopping, skipping or jumping.

Fine motor activities build the coordination between the eyes and the small muscles in the fingers and hands. This is crucial for learning to write.

When preschoolers have well-developed fine motor skills they are able to cut, hold a pencil between the thumb, index and middle finger, dress, experiment with writing, and perform other important skills.

Offer these kinds of activities:

• Art activities with varied tools and mediums (paint, chalk, wax crayons, big brushes, sponges, etc.)
• Threading and lacing
• Beading
• Cutting, pasting and tearing
• Finger plays

Creativity is a vital skill that must be stimulated over time. It is not just about art, but also about thinking and problem solving, skills that are necessary throughout life.

A few examples of activities that encourage thinking are:

• Ask multiple questions during storytime to develop higher-order thinking skills, such as questions about predicting the outcome, how a character can solve a problem, what the action will result in (cause and effect), etc.
• Play games that require solving problems or riddles.
• Build puzzles.

Before a child learns to read, they must learn important pre-reading skills such as rhyming, visual memory, print awareness, listening comprehension, letter knowledge and auditory perception (including phonological awareness).

These ideas will develop early reading skills:

• Word awareness games (e.g. How many words can you hear in this sentence?)
• Rhyming games (e.g. I spy something that rhymes with bat).
• Syllable games (e.g. hop to the beats – syllables – in your name).
• Sound games (e.g. it starts with “b” and ends with “each”).
• All the activities listed in the visual and auditory perception sections (above).

Children begin developing pre-mathematical skills early on. These are skills such as an emerging number sense, and a concept of measurement, space and shape.

Offer these types of activities:

• Play games such as Snakes and Ladders or other board games.
• Recite counting rhymes and songs (also those that go backwards).
• Play with containers in the sandpit and bath or water trough to develop number concepts.
• Play games such as hopping through hula hoops, climbing up ladders, etc., to develop a sense of increasing/decreasing numbers.
• Play with lego and blocks (often) to develop a number concept and vocabulary (e.g. more, less, enough, equal, another one).

Emergent writing involves developing base skills such as visual perception, pencil grip, fine motor skills, patterning skills, and others.

These activities will help develop children’s writing skills:

• Allow opportunities for creative art daily (holding different utensils – brushes, pencils, crayons, etc. , to develop finger strength).
• Play finger rhymes (for finger control and strength).
• Play with playdough (for finger control and strength).
• Play with foam, rubber or wooden letters (letter recognition).
• Make patterns in sand or large paper (e.g zig-zags, waves, lines, etc. – to mimic the strokes found in letters).

Many of the above activities will work on multiple skills simultaneously. This means these activities are great for your child’s holistic development.

I hope you’ll enjoy trying these activities with your kids!

Sources:

Hendrick, H. 1990. Total Learning: Developmental Curriculum for the Young Child. Third Edition. Macmillan Publishing Company: New York.

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8 skills that are useful for developing a preschooler and elementary school student

School preparation / Early childhood development

The LogicLike team talks about the skills that are important to master in preschool and primary school age in the first place.

LogicLike is an online platform for the development of children aged 5-12. We teach children to reason and work with information, develop logic and non-standard thinking.

1. Ability and desire to learn: cognitive abilities and interest in learning

Perception, attention, memory, imagination, speech, thinking are mental cognitive processes that make up the ability and desire to learn. For most children, the development of cognitive interest is a natural process laid down by nature. At preschool age, inquisitive children most of all want to discover something new.

Closer to 5-7 years, the child no longer simply perceives information in finished form, as it was before. An inquisitive mind seeks to find answers to questions on its own. An inquisitive preschooler learns to bring different concepts into one system, analyzes them, compares them, looks for patterns and draws conclusions.

Hot interest and curiosity are the basis of independent motivation of a preschooler and a first grader to study.

The elementary school curriculum does not contain separate classes devoted to the development of cognitive abilities. Therefore, the task of teaching the child to learn largely falls on the parents.

High cognitive interest plus developed attention, memory, thinking and other cognitive abilities will help you get used to school without stress, become more independent, proactive and avoid chronic academic failure.

See also: The benefits of entertaining mathematics and solving logic problems.

The ability to learn independently cannot be overestimated. Technology is developing many times faster than it was 20 years ago, and specialists of any profession are in the race for new knowledge. Try to imagine what will happen in another 20 years.

2. Creative thinking: the ability to think outside the box, contrary to patterns

The ability to create something new, unconventional - this is how classical psychology defines the concept of "creative thinking". You should not associate it exclusively with art: extraordinary solutions are welcome in any field of activity, be it acting or mobile application development.

At the age of 5-7 years, thinking is not constrained by stereotypes and it is easier for a child to learn to be “creative”. This will help in the future to get out of any difficult situations, simply connecting creative thinking.

See also: 10 ideas and exercises to develop creativity.

The ability to think outside the box is useful not only in everyday life. For example, engineer and ornithologist Eiji Nakatsu developed a rounded nose for a bullet train. The idea came from observing the kingfisher, a bird whose streamlined beak allows it to fish easily, plunging into the water without splashing. This train design reduced air resistance and energy costs.

3. The ability to think logically: we develop logical and mathematical intelligence

Some everyday and educational problems can be solved creatively. But in most cases, when an objective, balanced approach is needed, creativity is not enough. Logical thinking comes to the rescue:

• ability to think;
• to prove the truth or falsity of judgments;
• make informed decisions;
• explain your position to yourself and others.

When a child pumps logical thinking and mathematical abilities, he learns to use specific concepts, "weigh" options and make decisions.

Solving entertaining logic problems is a proven way to develop logic in preschoolers and younger students. Is your child 5-7 years old? This is the perfect time to start.

Day after day, more than 100,000 students

complete 10-20 assignments on the LogicLike website. And how much can you? Choose where to start:

Riddles and questions Riddles and questions

Logic tasks Logic tasks

Children with developed logical and mathematical intelligence can easily cope with school mathematics. In grades 3-4, they win mathematical olympiads and, in general, have more chances for a breakthrough in overall intellectual development.

4. Spatial thinking and imagination: developing visual-spatial intelligence

It is possible to create 3D pictures in your head, look at them in great detail and rotate them as you like with the help of spatial thinking and imagination. By developing these abilities, the child learns to navigate in space, recognize directions of movement, determine the sides of the horizon, understand the position of objects in space and perceive their shape.

This is interesting: Games and tasks for the development of spatial thinking of preschoolers.

Universal skills for success in any endeavors

The ability and desire to learn, creative, logical-mathematical and spatial thinking are components of the intellect and are absolutely necessary for both children and adults. However, this is not enough to achieve success.

Special, "hard" skills (hard skills) affect a person's success in a particular activity. They, too, can and should be developed from childhood, especially if the child has obvious inclinations and interests.

What can determine the success of a person in a variety of activities? General, soft skills It is equally useful in study, work and personal affairs. “Soft” skills are the basis for the development of special skills and human efficiency in everything.

We have identified 4 universal skills, qualities (their groups) that will definitely be useful to your child at school and later in life.

5. Communication skills: the ability to communicate and speak in public

The ability to conduct a dialogue, negotiate, convince somewhere, and give in somewhere, helps to join the team and find a common language with any person. A sociable person is more likely to reveal his abilities and succeed than someone who is stuck in communication.

6. Ability to work with information

When the information in the head is not sorted out, but falls into a heap, it is much more difficult to find and use something valuable.

For effective work and study, it is important to be able to:

• evaluate information for accuracy and reliability;
• to filter out the superfluous and empty, to highlight the main thing;
• combine elements into semantic groups;
• memorize and find the right information in time.

"Who owns the information, he owns the world. "
Nathan Rothschild

7. Self-organization, time management

Sometimes it seems that a person's life is organized by circumstances. School drives into the framework of lessons for 45 minutes, work creates the boundaries of an 8-10-hour working day.

But without the ability to plan things and manage your time, it is difficult to be productive. This is something that is not taught in school, but without which it is difficult to do without in life.

“I’ve been thinking about how to kill time more than once!” said Alice from Lewis Carroll's fairy tale to the Hatter. He answered her:

“How can he (time) like this? If you didn’t quarrel with him, you could ask him for anything you want.

8. Personal qualities: leadership, will, perseverance

Purposeful, stress-resistant, responsible, proactive, hardworking, able to cope with routine tasks - like a torn line from a resume of a top specialist, isn't it? All these qualities are classified as soft skills. They are not related to a specific profession, but without them any work is difficult.

Personal qualities are formed in childhood and depend on upbringing. It is important in this regard to correctly “distribute responsibilities” between the school and parents.

Abilities and skills open up a world of possibilities for the child

It all starts with the discovery of the inclinations laid down by nature, which are easiest to develop into abilities. But without effort, even rich inclinations run the risk of remaining in the stage of unsprouted grains.

A vivid example is in the biography of the Russian painter Vasily Surikov. His inclinations for drawing appeared early, but by the time he entered the art academy, they were not developed to a sufficient degree, according to teachers.

“Is this your work? Yes, for such drawings, you should even be forbidden to walk past the Academy!
, the examiner remarked sternly.

Surikov did not agree, in three months he completed a three-year course with the artist Dyakonov and successfully entered. To make this example even more revealing, imagine that Surikov never discovered his ability to draw.

How do you like it if your child agrees with the school teacher, they say, “well, there are no abilities for mathematics and logic - a humanist”?

At any age, it's not too early and not too late!

In childhood, the potential for the distant future is laid. But does this mean that it is already too late for adults to develop their abilities? Not at all.

This is confirmed by people who debunk myths by their example. Belarusian biathlete Daria Domracheva received two higher economic educations before realizing in sports.

Self-taught artist Henri Rousseau began painting at a mature age, with only military service and customs experience behind him. It is never too late to develop and discover a second wind.

What else is worth remembering?

• Listen to your child and help him develop in what he likes. Do not try to realize only your ambitions, do not strive to grow a new Hans Zimmer or Steve Jobs.
• Lay down the basic abilities that will definitely come in handy for any teenager and adult. For this, he will definitely thank you.
• Continue the development of thinking, cognitive interest and other skills with LogicLike. Our activities are fun for kids and adults!

On the LogicLike platform, we teach and develop children in a playful way, from simple to complex. Study online at any convenient time.

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Social skills of preschoolers - the development of social skills in children

The development of social skills is a necessary point of education. A child with a high degree of socialization will quickly get used to kindergarten, school, any new team; in the future will easily find a job. Social skills have a positive effect on interpersonal relationships - friendship, the ability to cooperate.

Understand what social skills are.

What are social skills and why develop them?

Social skills - a group of skills, abilities that are formed during the interaction of a person with society and affect the quality of communication with people.

Man is a social being: all our talents and aspirations are realized thanks to other members of the group. Others evaluate our actions, approve or condemn our behavior. It is difficult to reach the pinnacle of self-actualization alone.

This is why social skills are important. They should be developed from early childhood and honed throughout life.

Social skills are a reflection of the child's emotional intelligence, to which educators and teachers assign an important role in the process of personality development. Without this group of skills, a smart child will not be able to apply the acquired knowledge in practice: it is not enough to create something outstanding, you need to be able to correctly convey thoughts to the public.

Sometimes people mistakenly believe that social skills relate exclusively to the topic of communication, communication. In fact, skills include many multidirectional aspects: an adequate perception of one's own individuality, the ability to empathize, work in a team, etc.

Why do we need social skills?

1. Regulate the area of ​​interpersonal relationships: the child easily makes new friends, finds like-minded people.
2. Minimize psychological stress: children with developed social skills quickly adapt, do not feel sad due to changes in external circumstances.
3. They form an adequate self-esteem from childhood, which positively affects life achievements and development in adulthood.
4. Social skills cannot be separated from building a successful career: the best specialists must not only understand the profession, but also have high emotional intelligence.

Development of social skills in a child

Social skills need to be developed from preschool age, but older children and even teenagers may well learn to interact with the world.

It is recommended to pay attention to areas of life that bring discomfort to the child, significantly complicate everyday life.

1. Friends, interesting interlocutors: the kid does not know how to join the team, he prefers to sit in the corner while the others are playing.
2. Verbal difficulties. The child does not understand the rules of conversation, is poorly versed in the formulas of etiquette (when you need to say hello, say goodbye, offer help).
3. Problems with the non-verbal side of communication. Such a baby does not recognize the shades of emotions, it is difficult to understand how others relate to him. Cannot "read" faces and gestures.
4. Does not know the measure in expressing a point of view: too passive or, conversely, aggressive.
5. The child bullies classmates (participates in bullying) or is a victim.

In case of severe moral trauma, one should consult a psychologist: for example, school bullying is a complex problem that children are not able to cope with on their own. The involvement of parents and teachers is required.

In other cases, family members may well be able to help the child develop social skills.

What are the general recommendations?

1.

Be patient

Don't push your child to get the job done. Let them take the initiative: for example, do not rush to help during school gatherings, let the baby work on the problem on his own. The same goes for lessons and other activities.

2. Support undertakings

Children's dreams seem trifling to adults, but the initiative turns into a habit over the years and helps to discover new projects, meet people, and experiment.

3. Criticize the right way

When making negative comments, remember the golden rule of criticism: you need to analyze the work, highlighting both positive and negative aspects in a polite manner. Commenting on the specific actions of the child, and not his personality or appearance - this will lead to problems with self-esteem.

4. The right to choose

It is important for children to feel that their voice is taken into account and influences the course of events. Invite your child to personally choose clothes, books, cartoons. Ask about ideas, plans: “We are going to have a rest together at the weekend. What are your suggestions?

5. Personal space

Make sure that the baby has a place where he can be alone and take a break from talking. Personal things should not be touched: rearrange without prior discussion, read correspondence with friends, check pockets, etc.

Children, noticing the respectful attitude of adults, quickly begin to pay in the same coin; the atmosphere in the family becomes warm and trusting.

What social skills should be developed in a child?

Let's dwell on the main qualities and skills, the development of which is worth paying attention to.

1. The ability to ask, accept and give help

Without the ability to ask for help, the child will deprive himself of valuable advice; the lack of the ability to accept help will lead to losses, and the inability to provide help will make the baby self-centered.

• Let the child help those in need: for example, a lagging classmate.
• Explain to your child that getting help from friends and teachers is not a shame.
• Show by personal example that mutual help enriches experience: tell how you exchange advice with colleagues, friends.

2. The ability to conduct a conversation and get the right information

Being a good conversationalist is difficult, but the skill is honed over time and brings a lot of benefits.

• Prompt your child for dialogue development options: for example, you can start a conversation with a relevant question, a request for help.
• Do not leave the child in the role of a silent listener: discussing pressing issues at home, ask the opinion of the baby.
• Support children's public speaking: reports at school, performances, funny stories surrounded by loved ones will add confidence.

3. Empathy

Empathy is the ability to recognize the emotions of others, put yourself in the place of another person, empathize.

This ability will make the child humane, prudent. How can it be developed?

• Start by recognizing the child's feelings - it is useless to listen to people if the person does not feel personal experiences. Ask your baby: “How do you feel after a quarrel with friends?”, “Do you want to relax today?”
• After conflicts with classmates, ask your child how the children with whom the quarrel may feel now.
• While watching cartoons, reading books, pay your child's attention to the emotional state of the characters.

4. Ability to work in a team

Many children can easily cope with tasks alone, but this is not a reason to refuse to work in a team. It gives the opportunity to exchange ideas and experience, delegate tasks, achieve goals faster and more efficiently.

• If the child does not communicate with members of the team, try to introduce him to another social group: for example, the lack of communication with classmates can be compensated by a circle of interests, where the child will feel calmer.
• Make the family a friendly team in which the child has his own "duties": for example, do housework, remind parents of upcoming events. Any activity related to the well-being of other family members will do.

5. Respect for personal boundaries

The absence of an obsessive desire to interfere in other people's lives is a valuable skill that helps to win people's sympathy.

• Respect the child's personal boundaries: do not enter the nursery unannounced, do not rummage through personal belongings and correspondence, if the matter does not concern the life and safety of the baby.
• If the child violates other people's boundaries (takes toys without permission, asks uncomfortable questions), talk about it in private.

6. Ability to overcome conflict situations

It is difficult to imagine our life without conflicts. The task of the child is to learn how to culturally enter into a discussion, defend his point of view, and not be led by the provocations of his interlocutors.

• Talk about problems calmly, without raising your voice. Do not put pressure on the child with parental authority unnecessarily: the child is a separate person who has the right to an opinion.
• Do not judge people for views that differ from those of your family but do not affect your well-being. Show your child that the world is very different.
• You can demonstrate to children the basics of a civilized dispute, explain what arguments are, etc. It is advisable to teach this child in kindergarten.

7. Self-confidence

Stable and adequate self-esteem is a quality that not all adults possess.

It is formed under the influence of many factors: relationships between parents, the role of the child in the family circle, the characteristics of the environment that surrounded the child in early childhood.

It is important that the child does not grow up to be either a narcissistic narcissist with fragile self-esteem, or an overly shy person.

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