Social skill for teenager


Teen Social Skills | TherapyWorks

WHAT ARE SOCIAL SKILLS?

How would you like to get along even better with others in your family, in relationships with friends, and at school? Getting along well with people sounds kind of general and is difficult to do much about, so let’s break it down into some manageable and specific skills. By building the following skills, you will get along well with others:

  • Building others’ self-esteem.
  • Showing empathy for others.
  • Encouraging people to cooperate with each other.
  • Communicating assertively.
  • Asking productive questions and demonstrating listening skills.
  • Responding productively to emotional statements.

People skills (which are also known as emotional intelligence) can be thought of as six specific skills. Let’s take a brief look at each one.

Building others’ self-esteem. When you are in a situation in which you are made to feel good about yourself, you feel good. You can do the same with others by doing the following kinds of things:

  • Make eye contact with others.
  • Call others by their names.
  • Ask others their opinions.
  • Compliment others’ work.
  • Tell people how much you appreciate them.
  • Write notes of thanks when someone does something worthwhile.
  • Make people feel welcome when they come to your home or workplace.
  • Pay attention to what is going on in people’s lives. Acknowledge milestones and express concern about difficult life situations such as illness, deaths, and accidents.
  • Introduce your family members to acquaintances when you meet them out in public.
  • Encourage people you care about to explore their talents and interests.
  • Share your friends’ excitement when they accomplish something.
  • Honor people’s needs and wants.
  • Take responsibility for your choices and actions, and expect others to do the same.
  • Take responsibility for the quality of your communications.

 Showing empathy for others. Empathy means recognizing emotions in others. It is the capacity to put yourself in another person’s shoes and understand how he or she views reality and how he or she feels about things.

Being aware of our emotions and how they affect our actions is a very important ability in today’s world, both at school and at work. People who are cut off from their emotions are unable to connect with people. It’s as if they were emotionally tone deaf. No one wants to be around such people, because they have no idea how they affect others. You have probably met a few people who fit this description.

Encouraging people to cooperate with each other. When you are working or engaging in activities with others in a group, there are some specific things you can do to help create an environment where you will all work together well:

  • Don’t play favorites. Treat everyone the same. Otherwise, some people will not trust you.
  • Don’t talk about people behind their backs.
  • Ask for others’ ideas. Participation increases commitment.
  • Follow up on suggestions, requests, and comments, even if you are unable to carry out a request.
  • Check for understanding when you make a statement or announcement. Don’t assume everyone is with you.
  • Make sure people have clear instructions for tasks to be completed. Ask people to describe what they plan to do.
  • Let people know you appreciate it when they are cooperative. Don’t take it for granted.

Communicating assertively. Assertive communication is a constructive way of expressing feelings and opinions. People are not born assertive; their behavior is a combination of learned skills. Assertive behavior enables you to:

  • Act in your own best interests
  • Stand up for yourself without becoming anxious
  • Express your honest feelings
  • Assert your personal rights without denying the rights of others

Assertive behavior is different from passive or aggressive behavior in that it is:

  • Self-expressive
  • Honest
  • Direct
  • Self-enhancing
  • Constructive, not destructive

Assertive behavior includes both what you say and how you say it.

Asking productive questions and demonstrating listening skills. Listening skills help you show that you are hearing and understanding another person and are interested in what he or she has to say.

Responding productively to emotional statements. A communication skill called active listening is especially useful in emotional situations because it enables you to demonstrate that you understand what the other person is saying and how he or she is feeling about it. Active listening means restating, in your own words, what the other person has said. It’s a check on whether your understanding is correct. This demonstrates that you are listening and that you are interested and concerned. Active listening responses have two components:

  • Naming the feeling that the other person is conveying
  • Stating the reason for the feeling

Here are some examples of active listening statements:

  • “Sounds like you’re upset about what happened at school.
  • “You’re annoyed by my lateness, aren’t you?”
  • “You sound really confused about how to solve this problem.”
  • “It makes you angry when you find errors on my homework.”
  • “Sounds like you’re really worried about Wendy.”
  • “I get the feeling you’re awfully busy right now.”

Active listening is not the same as agreement. It is a way of demonstrating that you intend to hear and understand another’s point of view.

The ability to get along well with people is a set of learned skills. No one is born knowing how to build others’ self-esteem, show empathy, encourage cooperation, communicate assertively, ask productive questions, or respond productively to emotional statements. But with some practice these skills can be learned and developed. By taking the time to develop these skills, you will be able to build better relationships at home and at work.

 

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How To Improve Social Skills in Teens

Whether they’re starting at a new school or re-adjusting to in-person classes, teens need to rely on social skills to interact with peers and adults throughout their day. What are social skills for teens? Teen social skills include everything from making eye contact and carrying a conversation, to handling an argument and showing compassion for someone else.

At school, social skills like accountability and empathy are what empower youth to lead a group project or welcome that new student to sit at their lunch table. Building social skills is more important than ever after the past few years, with disrupted learning and isolation from the COVID-19 pandemic having a major impact on young people’s coping abilities, conflict resolution, teamwork and other necessary life skills.

Helping a teenager develop social skills enables them to envision and go after their own great futures by:

  • Making and maintaining healthy friendships
  • Learning to work effectively with peers and teachers
  • Participating in extracurricular activities for stronger college applications
  • Trying out jobs and growing in a stable career
  • Forming a supportive network of peers and adults at school, the Club and beyond
  • Maintaining strong mental health and positive self-esteem
  • Leading positive change in their communities

How to Help Teens Struggling Socially

While socializing with friends is a key part of growing up, practicing those same skills in unfamiliar situations will propel teens to become socially amphibious adults – capable of engaging with new people and environments no matter where life takes them. That’s why it’s important for kids and teens to get outside their comfort zones, meet new people and try activities that empower growth.

For activities to promote social and emotional development, here are five opportunities for building your teen’s social skills.


Join an After-School Team, Program or Club

Boys & Girls Clubs of America’s 2022 youth data shows that 41% of teens ages 13 and up have trouble going along with other people’s ideas and more than a third get frustrated if they can’t do something their way.

Being part of an after-school activity allows teens to connect with peers who share their passions and work together to achieve a common goal. Joining a team or club that emphasizes collaboration over competition will also nurture stronger bonds among teens, motivate them to listen and communicate respectfully with others and be accountable for the role they play.

If your teen enjoys gaming, look into competitive e-sports leagues. If they write their own stories, check out their school literary magazine. They can also become a member of a local Boys & Girls Club and participate in programs that match their hobbies, like sports, arts and volunteering.

The satisfaction felt in doing their best, being praised for their contributions and sharing in group wins will provide higher incentive for teens to practice healthy social skills that will last a lifetime.


Connect With a Good Mentor

While on their own journey of self-discovery, teens often look to people they care about for inspiration. This might be an adult whose footsteps they’d like to follow, a family member they look up to or a peer close in age. Any of these individuals could qualify as a mentor to your teen by demonstrating positive social skills like:

  • honest communication,
  • good decision-making,
  • offering and receiving criticism and
  • advocating for yourself and others.

Mentors for young adults do not assume the role of a parent or guardian but rather as a trusted role model that supports them in setting and reaching their goals. Mentored teens can even pay their experiences forward by being a peer mentor, such as tutoring an elementary school student or serving as a camp counselor. These opportunities are mutually beneficial in that they give older teens a chance to hone their leadership skills and younger kids an empathetic role model to help inform their social skills development in adolescence.


Balance Socializing Online and In Person

Many teens emerging from the pandemic are still feeling disconnected from their peers. In-person conversations can seem daunting after so much social screen time, with youth needing to read facial expressions, body language and tone of voice in real time.

To strengthen these skills needed for social interaction, teens must build their confidence to engage with others both online and in person. Boys & Girls Clubs of the Capital Area mixed the best of both worlds by creating a TikTok studio that gives teens a dedicated space and tools to record their own TikToks. This update to their Teen Center fosters their teens’ love for making videos by enabling them to work alongside their peers to produce positive content that expresses themselves. Ideas like this encourage teenagers using social media to lift each other up!


Explore New Customs and Cultures

Another way to improve teen social skills is by helping them embrace what’s different as well as what they have in common with others. To inspire your teen to be curious, inclusive and accepting, open your household to experiences that teach these social skills and encourage the whole family to get involved.

Designate a day of the week to enjoy music and movies or cook a traditional meal inspired by a different culture. Discuss the lived experiences of other people and what it’s like to walk in someone else’s shoes, the struggles they might face and what makes them strong. Having these conversations and experiences can help build empathy and understanding, as well as cultural awareness and acceptance. If teens are having fun practicing these social skills at home, it’s likely that they’re modeling them at school and in their community.


Find Purpose in Helping Others

Additionally, Greater Good Magazine reports that groups of teens are finding fulfillment in serving their communities during COVID-19.

By getting involved in their community, teens are given opportunities to rally together with like-minded peers and adults and feel good about making a difference. Distributing meals at food banks enhances their leadership skills while writing letters to seniors in retirement homes exercises their empathy by identifying with feelings of loneliness and offering support.

This trend is also seen at Boys & Girls Clubs, where 1 in 5 teens volunteer in their school, neighborhood or community once a month. Talk to your teen about causes they care about and look for opportunities where they can put their social skills in action to uplift their community.

From disruptions in their schooling to missed milestones like prom and high school graduation ceremonies, it is understandable why many teenagers may be feeling socially awkward after COVID-19.

However, being a teenager is also an exciting time where many begin to see the pathway between who they are now and who they will become. For those of us who care deeply about young people and their futures, helping a teenager with social skills can make all the difference in setting them up to become their best selves.


Join the Club

Boys & Girls Clubs of America provides mentorship, meals and meaningful life experiences to millions of young people across the nation. Boys & Girls Clubs are safe, inclusive places where kids learn, grow and have fun. Join us on our mission of helping all young people reach their full potential:

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How to develop social skills with teenagers

There are parents who find it difficult to work with their teenagers on social skills. . These skills are key when young people can communicate with other people without problems. The ability to communicate helps a young person develop important values ​​such as empathy or self-esteem.

Social skills need to be developed from an early age until they reach the stage of adolescence. nine0006

Index

  • 1 What social skills
  • 2 What social skills need to be developed

What social skills

Social skills are necessary and important for behavior when it comes to interaction and relationships with other people. These skills are different and differ depending on the context in which the adolescent himself finds himself.

Adolescence is a very difficult stage for any young person, as they are undergoing a series of changes that will help you shape your personality. Therefore, it is very important to be able to work on these skills both in educational centers and in the family itself. Elements such as respect or tolerance towards others should always be encouraged.

There are many ways to work on these social skills among young people, such as group dynamics. Through them, young people can communicate with other people of their age and put yourself in their place to solve various problems.

What social skills need to be developed

  • They must first learn some basic social skills. for example, the ability to participate in a conversation, give thanks for something or be able to listen to others.
  • In addition to the above, it's good to work on another series of much more advanced skills, such as asking for help when they need it, or asking for forgiveness for something they've done wrong. In this case, everything is more complicated, because it is difficult for young people to recognize their wrong and they must ask for forgiveness. nine0005 Young people should always understand that everyone makes mistakes, and it's good to apologize for that.
  • There are also a number of social skills related to feelings. The good thing is that they learn to recognize their own feelings, empathize with others, and express affection when necessary. Emotional education plays a key role in modern society, hence the importance of its education. Unfortunately, there are many teenagers who do not work on these feelings and lack of affection and empathy. nine0005 is pretty obvious.
  • Social skills planning is also important in teaching the youngest. It is good to take the initiative, reach agreements with other people and be able to resolve various conflicts that may arise throughout your life. These types of skills are important when working in a group in the classroom or for extended periods of time in the workplace. You must be able to work in a group and be able to problem solve with reason.
  • The last type of social skills that a young person must master are those that represent an alternative to possible aggression. Thus, it is very good that you know how to protect a friend by saying or always maintain composure and calm.

As you can see, social skills are more important than people think at first glance. Although adolescence is a difficult time in the life of a young person and the family itself, the ability to teach these skills to young people is key. This will help you communicate well with other people. Parenting and raising a child is not an easy task at all, especially during adolescence, however it is a task that both parents and professionals must undertake so that in the long run they have a set of key values ​​that they can take advantage of. forge your personality. nine0003

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You may be interested

Development of communication skills in children and adolescents, effective communication training, Chelyabinsk

Communication with peers is one of the basic needs and leading activities of adolescents. In communication, adolescents solve various problems of development, maturation and the formation of a personality.

One of the important tasks of this age is the ability to maintain relationships with different people. Teenagers communicate a lot: one on one, in companies, in social networks, by phone - mastering not only different styles and forms of communication, but also building connections and relationships. In communication, adolescents realize the important needs of this age:

- the need to achieve social recognition and approval,

- the need to belong to a peer group, acceptance and warmth,

- the need for self-respect, self-realization.

How a teenager will live this age and to what extent these needs will be satisfied, this is how his adult personality will be formed, and his future life will be formed.

However, not everything is so simple. During this period, relationships with peers become more complicated. Now it's not enough to have a "cool phone" or be cool. nine0003

Adolescents begin to evaluate each other and surrounding adults in terms of their personal qualities. For teenagers, it becomes important what kind of person you are, what qualities of character you have, how you act. The evaluation criteria are the most stringent. It is during this period that the personality of the future adult is formed. Through communication with peers, the socialization of a teenager occurs and vital skills and abilities are formed, such as:

- social interaction skills,

- constructive ways of behavior and relationships,

- familiarization with social values ​​and norms,

- the ability to analyze communication with different types of people,

- the adolescent's self-awareness is formed,

- the ability to obey collective discipline and at the same time the ability to defend their rights.

In a society of peers, relationships are built fundamentally on an equal footing, and a certain status must be earned and able to maintain it. Without such a society, a child (adolescent) cannot develop the communicative qualities necessary for later life. For the formation of a mature personality, relationships with parents are not enough. In order to form a full-fledged adult personality, the competitiveness of group relationships is also necessary. nine0003

But not all adolescents can boast of successful relationships with their peers. Today, most adolescents have various problems in communication, most often with classmates, sometimes in a section or circle where the child goes, sometimes in the yard.

What signs may indicate dysfunctional relationships with peers?

WHY DON'T THESE PROBLEMS ARE RESOLVED BY THEMSELVES?

1) Teenagers (children) themselves do not have rich life experience and knowledge of how to get out of different situations.

2) If a child (teenager) chooses a negative type of response to a situation (to be an outcast, rejected, single, withdrawn, behave in a negative way, etc.), this scenario extends to his entire future life.

3) Such a teenager remains unsocialized, in the future such an adult will have constant problems with a career, with relationships in a team, with superiors. nine0003

WHAT TO DO?

Of course, these problems must be solved. And the sooner the better! The faster and more painlessly you can solve them. To do this, we have created our "School of Effective Communication".

THE PURPOSE OF THE PROGRAM IS TO DEVELOP COMMUNICATION ABILITIES.

OBJECTIVES:

  • Find a common language with other people;
  • Feel comfortable and at ease when communicating;
  • nine0015 Take a leadership position and persevere towards the goal, relying on the support of people who are nearby;
  • Rely on emotions, control them, trust yourself;
  • Get rid of negative emotions: anger and envy, jealousy and despair;
  • Maintain composure in any situation.

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS TO TEACH CHILDREN TO CONTROL THEIR BEHAVIOR AND EMOTIONS.

HOW THE LESSONS GO:

In a friendly atmosphere of support, acceptance, trust and nonjudgment, we learn new ways of responding to situations, role-play situations, draw, talk and reason.

  1. Training takes place in a small group of peers (from 6 to 12 people). Children find themselves in a favorable "home" environment, which contributes to greater emancipation and participation in various games.
  2. nine0015 Classes are held in the form of trainings with game elements. Training is a lived experience that is remembered forever. The acquired knowledge, skills and abilities will help a teenager (child) communicate successfully in life. Classes are always interesting, informative and fun. Everyone gets their own result.
  3. Classes include exercises from acting trainings. Performing tasks for improvisation, living the role and others, the guys learn to "feel the situation" and vividly respond to "given circumstances". Thus, communication skills, imagination, memory, attention, fantasy develop. nine0016
  4. Role-playing exercises are included in the lessons. Playing various stories, children learn the correct behavior in various situations, including conflict situations. Children often initiate conflict themselves, but do not know how to manage it. We teach different ways of moving out of conflict, how to prevent it from flaring up and turning into a scandal, how to deal with negative emotions.

Based on the results of the author's online diagnostics and age characteristics, we will select the most comfortable training group for your child. Based on the results of the diagnostics, our specialist will contact you to select a time convenient for you. nine0003

WHAT SKILLS DO WE WORK? Or the PROGRAM OF LESSONS.

The program consists of different blocks. Blocks can be passed one at a time, you can all in turn.

Block 1. Me and my tools of communication: feelings and emotions.

DEVELOPS: Acceptance of one's uniqueness, one's inner experiences and feelings. The ability to control their emotional manifestations (tantrums, whims, anger). Developing the ability to express your feelings without harming yourself or others. Acceptance of the feelings of others and the ability to take them into account when communicating to achieve a positive result in achieving social goals. Assimilation of adequate social rules of behavior. nine0003

Block 2. Communication can be different.

DEVELOP: Developing the ability to listen and hear, the ability to profitably make contact and leave it. Dating skills. How to be friends.

Block 3. Is conflict terrible?

DEVELOPING: What to do when teased and bullied. Expansion of ways of behavior in the conflict. How not to create conflict. Ways out of conflict situations.

Block 4. In a team or alone? nine0006

DEVELOPING: Formation of adequate self-esteem, development of confidence in communication, the ability to work in a team and independently, to be responsible for relationships with others.

Block 5. You-I-Group.

DEVELOPING: Establishing, maintaining, developing or, if necessary, profitable and conflict-free interruption of contact with the interlocutor. How to achieve recognition and good attitude towards yourself. Overcoming the fear of evaluation and comparison by other people. Fundamentally new skills of successful interaction with others. nine0003

Block 6. I am a communication leader!

DEVELOPING: Communication from different positions. Interaction. The ability to listen and hear, to make sure that you are heard. Value in communication. Ability to take responsibility for relationships. The ability to say "no". Ability to defend your point of view.

Unit 7. Confident behavior training.

WE DEVELOP: using game elements of acting training, confident behavior in communication with the team. nine0003

Block 8. Peer aggression. How to emerge victorious.

DEVELOPING: Expanding ways of behaving in conflict. Conflicts "beneficial" and "harmful". How to manage conflict. How to resolve conflict situations. Psychological defense skills, or how to intelligently protect self-esteem.

nine0260 "Happiness is when you are understood"
Communication Rainbow I-YOU-THEY
7 to 9 years 10 to 13 years old 14 to 17 years old

The main skill is to establish new contacts and build relationships with others.


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