Social skills for high school

Social Skills: Promoting Positive Behavior, Academic Success, and School Safety

Good social skills are critical to successful functioning in life. These skills enable us to know what to say, how to make good choices, and how to behave in diverse situations. The extent to which children and adolescents possess good social skills can influence their academic performance, behavior, social and family relationships, and involvement in extracurricular activities. Social skills are also linked to the quality of the school environment and school safety.

While most children pick up positive skills through their everyday interactions with adults and peers, it is important that educators and parents reinforce this casual learning with direct and indirect instruction. We must also recognize when and where children pick up behaviors that might be detrimental to their development or safety. In the past, schools have relied exclusively on families to teach children important interpersonal and conflict resolution skills. However, increased negative societal influences and demands on family life make it imperative that schools partner with parents to facilitate this social learning process. This is particularly true today given the critical role that social skills play in maintaining a positive school environment and reducing school violence.�

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With a full repertoire of social skills, students will have the ability to make social choices that will strengthen their interpersonal relationships and facilitate success in school. Some consequences of good social skills include:

• Positive and safe school environment.
• Child resiliency in the face of future crises or other stressful life events.
• Students who seek appropriate and safe avenues for aggression and frustration.
• Children who take personal responsibility for promoting school safety.

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Students with poor social skills have been shown to:

• Experience difficulties in interpersonal relationships with parents, teachers, and peers.
• Evoke highly negative responses from others that lead to high levels of peer rejection.� Peer rejection has been linked on several occasions with school violence.
• Show signs of depression, aggression and anxiety.
• Demonstrate poor academic performance as an indirect consequence.
• Show a higher incidence of involvement in the criminal justice system as adults.

Given the demonstrated relationship between social skills and school safety, schools are increasingly seeking ways to help students develop positive social skills, both in school and in the community. Social skills related to school safety include:

• Anger management
• Recognizing/understanding others' point of view
• Social problem solving
• Peer negotiation
• Conflict management
• Peer resistance skills
• Active listening
• Effective communication
• Increased acceptance and tolerance of diverse groups

In isolation, social skills are not sufficient to ensure school safety; interventions should not be limited to student instruction and training. Change in the school culture should be facilitated by infusing social skills training into a comprehensive system of school safety and discipline policies, emphasizing relationship-building between students and faculty (teachers and administrators) and between schools and families, and providing effective behavior management and academic instruction.

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While there are hundreds of important social skills for students to learn, we can organize them into skill areas to make it easier to identify and determine appropriate interventions. For example, the “Stop and Think” program organizes skills into four areas:

1. Survival skills (e.g., listening, following directions, ignoring distractions, using nice or brave talk, rewarding yourself)
2. Interpersonal skills (e.g., sharing, asking for permission, joining an activity, waiting your turn)
3. Problem-solving skills (e.g., asking for help, apologizing, accepting consequences, deciding what to do)
4. Conflict resolution skills (e.g., dealing with teasing, losing, accusations, being left out, peer pressure)

Prior to determining the best means to help a student develop better social skills, it is important to understand specifically what a student can and can't do. It is crucial to assess and classify the nature of a child's social skill deficits in order to devise and implement the most appropriate intervention.�

Children may experience difficulty performing a skill:

• Due to lack of knowledge (acquisition deficits), e.g., the child does not know the skills or does not discriminate when a skill is appropriate. For example, a child grabs a pencil from a peer in class when she needs one because she does not know how to appropriately ask to borrow it.
• Consistently despite knowledge (performance deficits), e.g., the child knows how to perform the skills but fails to do so consistently or at an acceptable level of competence. For example, although the child understand that he should raise his hand to speak in class, and does so much of the time, he will sometimes blurt out a comment without raising his hand.
• To a sufficient degree or level of strength (fluency deficits), e. g., the child knows how to perform skill and is motivated to perform, but demonstrates inadequate performance due to lack of practice or adequate feedback. For example, a student has learned what to say and do when confronted with bullying behavior, but her responses are not yet strong enough to be successful.
• Due to competing skill deficits or behaviors, e.g., internal or external factors interfere with the child demonstrating a learned skill appropriately. For example, depression, anxiety, hyperactivity, or negative motivation can interfere with demonstration of appropriate conflict resolution skills, even though the skills have been taught and learned.

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Effective social skills programs are comprised of two essential elements: a teaching process that uses a behavioral/social learning approach and a universal language or set of steps that facilitates the learning of new behavior. Interventions can be implemented at a school-wide, specific setting, classroom, or individual level, but at all levels the emphasis is on teaching the desired skill, not punishing negative behaviors.

Facilitate learning through normal activities. Teachers and parents must take advantage of incidental learning, in which naturally occurring behaviors or events are used to teach and reinforce appropriate social behavior. Adults can reinforce demonstrated positive social skills by praising children when they behave correctly, or offer alternatives to poor decisions to teach the more appropriate behavior. It may be necessary when working with children who have particular difficulty to intentionally “catch” them doing the right thing or devise situations in which they can make a good choice.�

Address environmental factors. The school or home environment can affect a child's ability to learn and perform good social skills. If a child is experiencing difficulty demonstrating a particular skill, it is best to first evaluate the environment to determine what might interfere with the child's appropriate acquisition of that skill. For instance, a student may be unruly at the beginning of the day because the teacher needs to establish more specific routines for coming into class, hanging up coats, checking in, etc. Addressing environmental obstacles like this also will benefit all children in that environment.

Address individual factors. Some children need more intensive, personalized training because of individual factors, such as a disability. These interventions might be aimed at children experiencing a specific difficulty or those who have previously been identified as at risk for behavior problems. For example, studies have shown that children with mild disabilities tend to exhibit deficient social skills and excess problem behaviors more than students without such disabilities. Interventions aimed at at-risk students are based on individual assessment of the particular child's skills and deficits.� Selected interventions aim to prevent existing behavior problems from developing into more serious ones.

Social skills training should:

• Focus on facilitating the desirable behavior as well as eliminating the undesirable behavior.
• Emphasize the learning, performance, generalization, and maintenance of appropriate behaviors through modeling, coaching, and role-playing. It is also crucial to provide students with immediate performance feedback.
• Employ primarily positive strategies and add punitive strategies only if the positive approach is unsuccessful and the behavior is of a serious and/or dangerous nature.
• Provide training and practice opportunities in a wide range of settings with different groups and individuals in order to encourage students to generalize new skills to multiple, real life situations.
• Draw on assessment strategies, including functional assessments of behavior, to identify those children in need of more intensive interventions as well as target skills for instruction.
• Look to enhance social skills by increasing the frequency of an appropriate behavior in a particular situation. This should take place in “normal” environments to address the naturally occurring causes and consequences.

When planning social skills training programs, schools should:

• Include parents and other caregivers, both to help develop and select interventions and as significant participants in interventions. (Parents and caregivers can help reinforce the skills taught at school to further promote generalization across settings.)
• Focus on all age groups, including children below the age of 9 who are often bypassed due to the erroneous belief that they will “grow out of it.”
• Avoid a “one size fits all” approach and adapt the intervention to meet the individual or particular group needs. Students who speak English as a Second Language might need intensive social skill instruction to promote acculturation and peer acceptance. Children with disabilities might need adaptive curriculum and learning strategies. Most children will need a combination of different strategies that are matched to their particular deficits and backgrounds.

Often school administrators or mental health professionals opt to introduce one of the many empirically supported, commercially published programs into their schools. Effective existing social skills training programs include:

• “Stop and Think” Social Skills Program (Knoff): Part of Project ACHIEVE (Knoff and Batsche). Has demonstrated success in reducing student discipline referrals to the principal's office, school suspensions, and expulsions; fostering positive school climates and prosocial interactions; increasing students' on-task behavior; and improving academic performance. http://www.projectachieve.info
• Primary Mental Health Project (Cowen et al. )� Targets children K-3 and addresses social and emotional problems that interfere with effective learning.� It has been shown to improve learning and social skills, reduce acting, shyness and anxious behaviors, and increase frustration tolerances.� http://www.sharingsuccess.org/code/eptw/profiles/48.html
• The EQUIP Program (Gibbs, Potter, & Goldstein) Offers a three-part intervention method for working with antisocial or behavior disordered adolescents. The approach includes training in moral judgment, anger management/correction of thinking errors, and prosocial skills. http://www.researchpress.com/scripts/product.asp?item=4848#5134
• The PREPARE Curriculum (Goldstein) Presents a series of 10 course-length interventions grouped into three areas: reducing aggression, reducing stress, and reducing prejudice. It is designed for use with middle school and high school students but can be adapted for use with younger students. http://www.researchpress.com/scripts/product.asp?item=5063
• The ACCEPTS Program (Walker et al) Offers a complete curriculum for teaching effective social skills to students at middle and high school levels. The program teaches peer-to-peer skills, skills for relating to adults, and self-management skills.

For further resources go to www.nasponline.org.

� 2002, National Association of School Psychologists, 4340 East West Highway, Suite 402,�Bethesda, MD, 20814, (301) 657-0270, fax (301) 657-0275, TTY (301) 657-4155.

9 Social Skills Activities for High School Students

Strengthening social skills and emotional intelligence in high schoolers can be a challenge. At this age, teens are learning how to handle conflict, converse with their peers and regulate their rollercoaster ride of emotions. 

To support high school students – whether as a teacher, a parent or a mentor – you can help them build positive social skills through activities and games. Here are some of our favorite social skills activities to put into action with your teens.

What are key social skills for high school students?

To become adults who thrive, high school students should learn key social skills such as:

• relationship building
• social awareness
• self-management
• decision making
• active listening
• stress reduction
• empathy

It’s important for young people to learn these social skills so that they’re able to engage with others in a positive way in the long run. 

Top 9 social skills activities

Social skills are essential life skills that must be practiced over time. You can support your students or teens by engaging them in activities designed to work on these skills, such as:

1. Get to know you bingo

Get to know you bingo is a classic for getting teens to learn how to start a conversation, share stories and find common ground. Simply print off blank bingo sheets and ask them to fill it with personal information, such as their favorite animal, greatest fear, future career goal, etc.

Students then should mingle around the room, ask about others’ information and share their own. If two people have the same information on their bingo board, they can cross it off. The first individual to mark off all squares is the winner. 

2. Conversation speed dating

Invest in conversation cards and have teens pair off. Every pair should be given a conversation starter (try the ones from Chat Chains) and hold a conversation for at least 10 minutes. You can then change up the pairs in a “speed dating” format so that teens have multiple opportunities to learn how to engage with others. 

3. Kindness Jenga

Buy a new Jenga board and write a different “kindness challenge” on every block. This could be as simple as “give a friend a compliment” or as involved as “buy somebody lunch who needs it.” As students play the game, they have to complete the acts of kindness. 

4. Emotions Uno

Emotions Uno is a fun way for teens to talk about their feelings. Have each color in the game stand for an emotion: blue for sad, green for peaceful, yellow for happy, and red for angry or scared. 

In the first 10 minutes, as students play a card, they have to name an experience when they felt these emotions. So if they played a yellow card, they would mention a time when they felt happy. 

In the next 10 minutes, switch up the rules and have students share strategies for avoiding or achieving these emotions. For example, if a student played a blue card, they would talk about something they do to overcome disappointment or sadness.

5. Role play

Role play is a tried-and-true activity that practices social skills. Come up with a dozen scenarios for high schoolers to act out, such as bullying, peer pressure at a party, etc. Every group will receive a scenario, come up with a script and act it out in front of the class. 

6. Mind maps for self-analysis

Mind maps can be an excellent way for high schoolers to reflect on what defines them and share these characteristics with others. Have students write their name in the middle of a paper and create at least three initial branches: qualities, pastimes and goals. From here, students can add different branches for each area. 

Once everybody has finished, teens can share their mind maps in small groups and ask questions about each other’s maps. 

7. Group service project

Learning to work as a team is a vital part of social skills. Creating a service project for your classroom or group of teens can allow them to solve problems and work towards a greater mission. 

Showcase some example service projects – such as a charity talent show, or a weekly soup kitchen – and then support your teens as they plan their project over the course of the next few weeks. 

8. Drama workshop

Teens are naturally dramatic and working on a short play can build a sense of empathy and teamwork. Choose a play that you think teens would be interested in and then assign roles so that everybody feels valued (including scene creation, sound, costumes, etc. )

9. Debate

Debating is an excellent way to improve skills such as listening to others, speaking in public, solving problems and highlighting important information. Put together a list of debate topics and have students go through several stages of preparation: from research, to a short essay, to a practice debate and finally a formal in-class debate. 

Leverage social skills activities with your teens

Help high school students strengthen their social skills through activities. These top options above can be used to build key skills such as listening, empathy and more, so be sure to make use of them in the classroom and beyond. And don’t forget to model great social skills yourself when interacting with teens!

Looking to build your high schooler’s social skills? Check out ThinkPsych’s social skills resources and games for more activities.

References

• 10 Social Skills Activities for High School Students, Everything Mom, https://www. everythingmom.com
• 15 Social Skills and Classroom Management Activities, Education to the Core, https://educationtothecore.com
• 25 Fun and Easy SEL Activities to Boost Social Skills, We Are Teachers, https://www.weareteachers.com
• Evidence-Based Social Skills Activities for Children and Teens, Parenting Science, https://parentingscience.com

Social Skills and Learning Success - Child Development

When a child enters senior or pre-kindergarten, parents expect the child to learn to read and write. But before focusing on acquiring academic knowledge, there are many other skills that he needs to master. Research shows that the most important skills to teach children at this age are social skills: cooperation, self-control, confidence, independence, curiosity, empathy, and communication.

In the first months of the school year, educators have the most difficulties with children who have behavioral problems and insufficiently developed attention. In fact, everything is simple: if a child does not know how to keep a queue, listen and sit quietly in a group, how can he learn the educational material? That is why at the beginning of the year so much time is devoted to learning and developing the basic social skills of babies.

Fortunately, the previous experience of social interaction, both at home and in the younger groups of the kindergarten, helps the child to adapt to the changes that have occurred with the team after the summer vacation period. As soon as the kid has mastered the basic skills of social interaction and behavior in a group at a sufficient level, he will be ready to focus on the educational material. That is, a child will be able to gain more knowledge if the approach to the development of his social, emotional and cognitive (academic) skills is maximally balanced by his parents and teachers of preschool education.

Recent brain development research has shown that a child's ability to interact with other children, control and express feelings, and solve basic problems independently is just as important to academic success as academic skills. The pathways in the brain necessary for successful learning are developed through positive interaction with other people! Caregivers use this data to help children build relationships with each other, share and care, listen and speak in groups, and feel confident to take on new challenges.

Early Basic Skills

Here are some examples of what good teachers set at the beginning of the school year in senior or pre-school. Parents can adapt them in their family and help the child develop in this direction, being in the comfortable conditions of their own family and at home.

• Self-confidence and self-esteem: is one of the first skills that caregivers focus on developing. It is important to instill in the child a positive feeling about himself - himself as a person and a participant in social interactions. This is a skill that will not lose its value throughout the child's life and will help him feel capable and skillful both now and in future studies.
• Collaboration: games, stories and songs help a child learn to work with other children - not an easy task at this age! Collaboration for a baby is the ability to empathize and get along with other people.
• Curiosity: Perhaps one of the most important skills a child needs to develop at this stage is a thirst for learning. The caregiver can use a wide range of interesting materials and ideas to engage your child's natural curiosity. Recent studies show that new or unusual activities and materials (compared to already familiar ones) engage the brain more, forcing it to pay close attention to the information offered.
• Communication: Expressing yourself and your thoughts, feelings and knowledge about the world is one of your child's key skills. It underlies all reading, writing, math, and science skills. If a child can confidently express his thought or opinion, he becomes more open to learning and developing thinking.

How Parents Can Help Develop These Skills

Help your child develop critical social and emotional skills by connecting with kindergarten friends in your home setting. Ask the kid who he would like to invite to visit to play. It is often easier for children to build friendships in their own one-on-one space than in a kindergarten. Many educators find that a child who finds it difficult to make friends or interact in a large group is more likely to forge a close bond with a new friend at home. These relationships can then be transferred to the conditions of the kindergarten. Once the child has established a bond with one classmate, it will be easier for him to establish friendships with other children.

The meaning of play

Play is important work for your little child. He grows, learns and explores the world through play. This happens through complex gameplay that encourages him to think, solve problems and use his imagination and fantasy. When a child participates in the game, he has to plan, focus and strive for the goal, using all the basic life and work skills.

In kindergarten, the child should be given opportunities to participate in different play situations throughout the day. The toddler can be introduced to letters and numbers through meaningful drama, building blocks, and literature or music. So don't worry if your child comes home and says he's been playing all day!

Also at home, create all the conditions for developing games and activities for him. Remember that the experience your child has at the start of the school year will provide an important foundation that will enable him to become a passionate lifelong learner – passionate because he will discover that learning can be fun and interesting.

Soft skills or social skills for a student: 85% of success in life

Harvard and Stanford believe that a student's academic knowledge is only 15% of success in his further education, in building a career and in life.

Russian schools actively download knowledge into the heads of our children, but do not teach them social skills, the so-called soft skills - leadership, teamwork, organizational skills, etc. Namely, they allow you to apply the acquired knowledge and achieve your goals: a prestigious university, a successful career, a happy family and true friendship.

A study of Fortune 500 CEOs found that long-term and sustainable job success is 75% social skills and only 25% academic.

Therefore, European education has long included the training of soft skills, without which it is difficult to succeed in the modern world. Many of these traits are innate and inherent in every child, but they need to be cultivated and developed. Here are some critical social skills that will help any student reach their goals in life.

TEAM WORK

The ability to listen, the ability to see a common goal and find common ground between a common idea and personal ambitions. Willingness to help others and support in a difficult situation, the ability to convince and find a compromise.

Check if your child can:

• do things with other children?
• help someone solve their study question?
• to make sure that not only he, but his entire team achieves the goal?

How it is taught in a foreign school:

• team events: games, performance, volunteer programs;
• joint academic projects, when the project can only be defended by the whole team;
• competitions between "Houses" for students studying on a full board basis.

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LEADERSHIP

To be a leader means to be a person whom everyone else recognizes as having the right to make responsible decisions for the entire team.

Check if your child can:

• to become a leader for other children: inspire and lead them?
• understand and feel other people?
• set other children tasks corresponding to their abilities and nature and achieve their fulfillment?

How it is taught in a foreign school:

• Supervision of junior schoolchildren and beginners by high school students;
• Numerous clubs and hobby classes are sure to resonate in the soul of any student, and he will take the initiative in the area that interests him and gather his team of like-minded people.

We are looking for leaders, but not from the category of "president of the chess club", but from those who, faced with a problem, can at the right time take the lead of the team and lead it to the goal

- Laszlo Bock, Vice President for Google Recruitment

CREATIVITY

A creative person is able to find non-standard, completely new solutions in familiar situations, he is able to invent and implement new ideas.

Check if your child can:

• Suggest an idea for a gala evening, fashion design or pop star poster?
• tell your friends a story he made up?
• come up with an idea for a new computer game or mobile app?

How it is taught in a foreign school:

• When solving a problem, the student will be asked not only to give the correct answer, but also to find 10 different solutions;
• Schoolchildren focus on both academic knowledge and extracurricular activities - music classes, theater productions and acting skills, development of artistic skills. It is easier for a child with a broad outlook to find a non-standard approach to solving a problem.

COMMUNICATION

The ability to communicate, openness and the ability to establish contact with other people, as well as to make the right impression on them.

Check if your child can:

• Is it clear and interesting to express your ideas and thoughts?
• speak confidently with a group of your peers, with a school principal, with other adults?
• perform in front of an audience of 100 people?

How it is taught in a foreign school:

• Students are encouraged to actively participate in discussions in the classroom. And the final assessment is influenced by the student's involvement in lectures and seminars and his ability to defend his point of view;
• Schoolchildren are constantly surrounded by their peers and implement academic projects together, participate in sports and creative events, attend hobby groups;
• Career days and meetings with universities are regularly held for high school students. Schools set aside time to develop a personal resume, self-presentation skills and interviews.

MANAGEMENT

This is the ability to bring people together to achieve a goal and inspire yourself and others to action. Initiative, demanding of oneself and others, attention to detail, the ability to delegate or do it yourself - all these are important qualities of an organizer.

Check if your child can:

• organize your time in such a way that you can keep up with your studies and take part in additional school activities?
• put together a team to run cross country together or organize a party?
• make quick decisions when things don't go as planned?

How it is taught in a foreign school:

• time management skills are the first thing a student learns. Unlike Russian students, European students do not study from morning to evening. The whole day is scheduled by the clock, there is time for study, sports, hobbies, homework and, of course, time for rest;
• Participation in numerous school events requires a variety of skills from the student, including the ability to organize an exhibition, holiday, performance, debate, sports match and much more.

POSITIVE

Faith in yourself and in other people. This is such a view of the world in which a person can look at events from different angles and prefers to find positive in everything that surrounds him.

Check if your child can:

• keep a smile on your face despite the challenges?
• to fight and not give up, even when you fail to reach the goal?
• try to solve your problems on your own, without immediately resorting to your help?

How it is taught in a foreign school:

• Support and attention of teachers, mentors and high school students. The school is well aware of the difficulties students face and is always ready to help with advice and pay attention to positive events.
• A healthy competitive environment helps students focus on their goals and not on temporary setbacks.

CURIOSITY

Intellectual curiosity, thirst for new knowledge, interest in the world around and desire for new experiences. This is a natural quality of any child and it is important to preserve it.

Check if your child can:

• look away from your phone or tablet and look around when you are driving?
• when you find yourself in a new place, try to find out something about it?
• ask questions about how the world works?

How it is taught in a foreign school:

• The task of every teacher is not only to prepare a student for the final exams, but also to make him fall in love with his subject. The first thing that Russian children and parents notice is that students in European schools love to study.
• Well-equipped classrooms and laboratories - here you can study not only theory, but also try everything in practice. Chemistry, physics, biology become especially fascinating.
• School activities also include guest lecturers and thematic excursions. Children can learn first-hand about the subject and specialties: who you can become in the future, how you can apply the acquired knowledge in practice, what kind of employees employers want to see.

Most children are not very self-confident. They worry about entering a new social situation, about learning new skills, about having to complete a new task, even more difficult. They seek help and support from friends, parents, teachers, and this is natural.

Studying in European schools, students develop their social skills, becoming more self-confident. These skills have nothing to do with intelligence, the ability to quote Shakespeare in the original, or mentally multiply three-digit numbers. But the ability of a child to clearly formulate thoughts, offer alternatives and respect someone else's point of view will make him successful in all areas of life.

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