Socialization skills for adults

SEL for Adults: Social Awareness and Relationship Skills

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What Are They?

According to the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional, Learning (CASEL), social-emotional learning (SEL) is “the process through which children and adults understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions.”

Social awareness and relationship skills are two of the five components that make up CASEL’s model of SEL.

Social awareness involves the ability to understand and empathize with others, particularly with people from different backgrounds than one’s own.

A white teacher whose students are from a different cultural background than her own makes an effort to get to know students’ families and communities and their unique strengths. Recognizing that she is always in learner-mode, she practices cultural humility by questioning her assumptions about social and ethical norms, beliefs, and expectations.

Skills that develop social awareness include:

• Showing understanding and empathy for others
• Identifying social cues (verbal, physical) to determine how others feel
• Predicting and understanding others’ feelings and reactions
• Practicing empathy, including perspective taking
• Recognizing individual and group strengths and differences
• Using reflective listening to understand and demonstrate respect for others
• Recognizing and using family, school, and community resources
• Demonstrating cultural humility
• Awareness of inequities and privileges that affect individuals and groups

“Relationship skills” is the ability to build positive relationships, especially with diverse individuals and groups, using a variety of methods such as active listening, and communication and conflict resolution skills. These skills also include the ability to resist pressure and to seek out and offer help.

A middle school principal, knowing that a harmonious work environment will ultimately benefit the students who are closely watching how the staff interacts with each other, strives to build a supportive school culture. At staff meetings, she brings in practices that cultivate trusting relationships such as gratitude, conflict resolution, forgiveness, and play.

Relationship skills include:

• Cultivating connection and friendship
• Developing positive relationships with diverse individuals and groups
• Practicing listening and communication skills
• Working cooperatively
• Resolving conflicts
• Offering and seeking help
• Applying appropriate uses of humor
• Approaching relationships with positive presuppositions
• Managing and expressing emotions in relationships, respecting diverse viewpoints
• Resisting inappropriate social pressures

Ultimately, social awareness and relationship skills are closely linked. For example, resolving a conflict with a colleague (relationship skills) is made easier when both parties can empathize with each other (social awareness).

Why Are They Important?

Teaching and school leadership are demanding jobs, to say the least. Yet research shows that cultivating social and emotional skills can help lessen burnout and turnover and increase job satisfaction in both teachers and principals. In addition, these skills can also help improve relationships with students, leading to higher academic achievement.

More specifically, studies have found that school staff members with social awareness and relationship skills can have tremendous impact on schools and students. For example:

Cultivating trusting relationships among staff is crucial to school reform.

• In their seminal 2002 study on the reform efforts of twelve Chicago public schools, Anthony Bryk and Barbara Schneider found that enabling positive social relationships between the adults was the key to successful school improvement—and that trust was at the heart of those relationships.

A teacher’s social awareness and relationship skills make a difference to students for years to come.

• Research has found that Kindergarten teachers’ perceptions of their relationships with students affect the behavioral and academic outcomes of students in subsequent grades—sometimes as far into the future as eighth grade.
• Studies show that if a teacher holds a negative view of their relationship with a student, that student is less likely to succeed academically and to show prosocial (kind, helpful) behavior in later years.

Teachers’ relationship skills influence student relationships.

• Students are more likely to see their peers who have supportive relationships with teachers as likable.
• Teachers who are knowledgeable of which peer groups students are a part of help to create a school environment where students feel they belong and are safe from bullying.

Training teachers in social skills makes a positive difference.

• Educators who receive professional development in how to create a caring classroom environment tend to increase their emphasis on prosocial (kind, helpful) values and to encourage cooperation more often in their classrooms. As a result, students are more engaged and show improved social skills, both of which lead to greater enjoyment of learning.

An “empathic mindset” in teachers can decrease student suspensions.

• One study found that when teachers who were trained to make the effort to understand and value misbehaving students’ experiences and challenging emotions, school suspensions were reduced by half.

A strong collaborative community is the foundation of a healthy school environment.

• A positive school climate is associated with lower absenteeism and school violence, and increased school connectedness, student motivation to learn, academic achievement, and teacher retention.

Practices

Level

Select a LevelPreK/Lower ElementaryUpper ElementaryMiddle SchoolHigh SchoolCollegeAdult

Duration

Select a Duration≤ 15 minutes≤ 30 minutes≤ 1 hour≤ 2 hoursMultiple Sessions

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A fun counting and clapping activity to build positive group energy and to say “thumbs up” to mistakes.

Adult

≤ 15 minutes

Build positive relationships with students in 2 minutes a day.

PreK/Lower Elementary, Upper Elementary, Middle School, High School

≤ 15 minutes

Ask and respond to a set of questions in pairs to get to know your colleagues better.

Adult

≤ 15 minutes

School staff connect with each other through empathy and understanding.

Adult

≤ 15 minutes

Staff members lessen their stress through an experience of awe.

Adult

≤ 15 minutes

A reflection tool to help leaders cultivate a positive and ethical school climate

Adult

≤ 15 minutes

Use the Circle process to build a sense of connection among students and staff by sharing moods, feelings, and moments of joy and pain.

PreK/Lower Elementary, Upper Elementary, Middle School, High School, College, Adult

≤ 30 minutes

Teachers examine 13 specific beliefs about ethnically diverse students, reflect on those beliefs and outline action steps for better serving their students.

Adult

≤ 1 hour

Teachers and students converse with each other through letter writing.

PreK/Lower Elementary, Upper Elementary

≤ 1 hour

Teachers and students converse with each other through writing.

High School

≤ 30 minutes

Teachers and students converse with each other through writing.

Middle School

≤ 1 hour

Teachers reflect on and discuss the various dimensions and impact of their identities on their relationships with students and their families.

Adult

≤ 2 hours

A reflection tool to help school and teacher leaders cultivate qualities of moral leadership within themselves

Adult

≤ 15 minutes

School leaders identify and reflect on three qualities that energize them at work.

Adult

≤ 15 minutes

Teachers and students create a safe space to develop strong relationships.

PreK/Lower Elementary, Upper Elementary, Middle School, High School

≤ 15 minutes

Think about a time when you felt close to another colleague to foster a personal sense of belonging at school.

Adult

≤ 15 minutes

Say “thank you” to other staff members for small favors or kindnesses.

Adult

≤ 15 minutes

Staff members express gratitude for others in the school community.

Adult

≤ 15 minutes

Acknowledge the faces of everyone in your classroom or meeting to deepen a sense of group connection.

High School, College, Adult

≤ 15 minutes

School staff highlight which SEL skills were used during a meeting and share with others.

Adult

≤ 15 minutes

Mentally cultivate kindness toward yourself and consider how you might be of service to others

College, Adult

≤ 15 minutes

Mentally cultivate kindness toward yourself and others.

College, Adult

≤ 15 minutes

A values-informed process to help staff make the best possible ethical choices for school stakeholders 

Adult

≤ 1 hour

Teachers engage in a mindful reflection process that creates space for checking their assumptions about student behavior.

Adult

Multiple Sessions

Staff members brainstorm how they will intentionally model SEL in their interactions with students.

Adult

≤ 1 hour

School staff discuss what opens and closes their hearts in the classroom using Focused Listening and Speaking with each other.

Adult

≤ 1 hour

A tool to help school staff reflect on their own SEL strengths and areas for growth

Adult

≤ 30 minutes

A reflection tool to help leaders develop positive schools and staff

Adult

≤ 15 minutes

Observe how time and contemplation can influence your ability to gain important insights about your work.

College, Adult

≤ 30 minutes

Lead a brief choral reading practice that fosters community and connection.

High School, College, Adult

≤ 15 minutes

A values-informed process to help you make the best possible ethical choices for yourself, your students, or your staff

Adult

≤ 15 minutes

Educators reflect upon their SEL teaching practices and their own social-emotional competencies for implementing those teaching practices.

Adult

≤ 1 hour

Use the Circle process to encourage self-care among staff and students in all dimensions.

Middle School, High School, College, Adult

≤ 30 minutes

A way to foster feelings of safety, consistency, and joy amongst school staff.

Adult

≤ 15 minutes

Faculty and staff will foster practical wisdom by setting three goals based on the topic discussed during a faculty and staff meeting.

Adult

≤ 15 minutes

Discussion prompts that guide teachers to reflect and collaborate on effective SEL implementation.

Adult

≤ 30 minutes

Staff members explore the connection between healthy boundaries and an open heart in order to maintain caring relationships.

Adult

≤ 1 hour

A tool for fostering a supportive and equitable classroom and school environment and for promoting SEL.

PreK/Lower Elementary, Upper Elementary, Middle School, High School, College, Adult

Teachers unearth stereotypes and examine privilege while reflecting on the impact of systemic discrimination.

Adult

≤ 1 hour

A quick welcoming activity in which everyone’s voice is heard and valued

Adult

≤ 15 minutes

“The most valuable resource that all teachers have is each other. Without collaboration our growth is limited to our own perspectives.”

–Robert John Meehan

10 Best Activities + PDF

Being socially awkward is not just a problem kids face; adults can battle with social skills too, leading to anxiety and even serious phobias.

Struggles with social skills in adulthood can cause avoidance of social situations and interfere with building long-lasting relationships.

Providing social skills training to clients with anxiety, fear of public speaking, and similar issues could ensure more optimal functioning.

This article provides strategies and training options for the development of various social skills. Several resources to help target specific struggles related to the development of social skills in adults are also included, and the approaches can be tailored to improve social responses in specific domains.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Positive Psychology Exercises for free. These science-based exercises will explore fundamental aspects of positive psychology including strengths, values, and self-compassion, and will give you the tools to enhance the wellbeing of your clients, students, or employees.

This Article Contains:

• Social Skills Training for Adults Explained
• Social Skills Coaching: 2 Best Activities
• Role-Playing Exercises: 4 Scripts & Examples
• Top 2 Resources & Worksheets
• 4 Insightful Videos & Podcasts
• PositivePsychology.com’s Helpful Tools
• A Take-Home Message
• References

Social Skills Training for Adults Explained

Social skills training includes interventions and instructional methods that help an individual improve and understand social behavior. The goal of social skills training is to teach people about verbal and nonverbal behaviors that are involved in typical social interactions (“Social,” n.d.).

Social skills training is usually initiated when adults have not learned or been taught appropriate interpersonal skills or have trouble reading subtle cues in social interactions. These instances can also be associated with disorders that impede social development, such as autism.

Therapists who practice social skills training first focus on breaking down more complex social behaviors into smaller portions. Next, they develop an individualized program for patients, depending on what social skills they need to work on, and gradually introduce those skills to their patients, building up their confidence through gradual exposure.

For instance, a person who has trouble making eye contact because of anxiety in social situations might be given strategies to maintain eye contact by the therapist. Eye contact is the foundation for most social interaction, and interventions will often start with improving the individual’s ability to maintain eye contact.

During therapy, other challenging areas will be identified such as starting or maintaining a conversation or asking questions. Each session will focus on different activities that typically involve role-play and sometimes will take place in a group setting to simulate different social experiences.

Once confidence has been built up during therapy or group settings, these social skills can be brought into daily life.

Useful assessments: Tests, checklists, questionnaires, & scales

Before engaging your clients in social skills interventions or any type of therapeutic intervention, it is important to determine if social skills therapy is a good approach to help them with their current situation.

The Is Social Skills Training Right for Me? checklist is a self-assessment opportunity for clients to determine if social skills therapy is appropriate for their specific situation or if another approach will be more beneficial.

However, self-assessment activities can sometimes be unreliable, as the individual might not fully understand the treatment models that are available to them. Additionally, if a client has issues with social skills, they may not be aware of their deficiencies in social situations.

In these situations, therapists should ask clients about the issues they are having and encourage them to engage in self-questioning during sessions.

9 Questions to ask your clients

Prior to starting social skills training or activities, the therapist and client should narrow down which areas need help. A therapist can do this by asking the client a series of questions, including:

• Where do you think you are struggling?
• Are there any social situations that make you feel anxious, upset, or nervous?
• Do you avoid any specific social situations or actions?
• Have you ever had anyone comment on your social behavior? What have they said?
• What do you think will help you improve the skills you are struggling with?

Clients can also ask themselves some questions to determine if the social skills therapy process is right for them.

These questions can include:

• What aspects of my life am I struggling with?
• Are there specific social situations or skills that I struggle with?
• Do I have trouble keeping or maintaining relationships with friends, family members, and coworkers?
• Am I avoiding specific social situations out of fear?

Getting clients to ask these questions will help determine if this process will benefit them. Having clients “buy in” to the process is important, to ensure that the approach is right for them and increase the likelihood that they will be engaged to complete activities with a reasonable degree of efficacy.

Social Skills Coaching: 2 Best Activities

Eye contact is considered one of the most important aspects of communication.

It is estimated that adults make eye contact 30–60% of the time in general conversation, increasing to 60–70% of the time when trying to form a more intimate relationship (Cognitive Development Learning Centre, 2019).

Giving people who are struggling socially the tools to make more eye contact is usually the first step in social skills training exercises.

The Strategies for Maintaining Eye Contact worksheet provides some practical strategies and tips to practice making eye contact.

Sometimes, people who struggle with making eye contact overcompensate, leading to social blunders while simply trying to increase their ability to socialize effectively. This handy worksheet on Do’s and Don’ts When Making Eye Contact breaks down exactly what is acceptable when making eye contact and what behaviors should be avoided.

Role-Playing Exercises: 4 Scripts & Examples

Often, one of the most prominent struggles for people lacking social skills is starting a conversation, especially with people they are not familiar with.

Fleming (2013) details a helpful method for people who struggle with starting conversations. The ARE method can be used to initiate a conversation and gain an understanding of the person’s interests to facilitate a strong relationship.

• Anchor:
  Connect the conversation to your mutually shared reality (e.g., common interests) or the setting in which you encountered the individual.
• Reveal:
  Provide some personal context to help deepen the connection between you and the other person.
• Encourage:
  After giving them some context, provide the other person with positive reinforcement to encourage them to share.

This worksheet Starting a Conversation – The ARE Method guides participants through each step in the ARE process. It also provides examples of how the ARE method can be incorporated into a typical conversation and used as a workable strategy in social skills training activities.

A Guide to Small Talk: Conversation Starters and Replies provides an outline of conversation ideas to help start any conversation, no matter the setting.

After developing the ability to start a conversation, being able to project assertiveness and understand one’s limits is essential in ensuring clear communication.

These worksheets on Different Ways to Say ‘No’ Politely and Using ‘I’ Statements in Conversation facilitate assertive communication and give clients the confidence to set personal limits.

Top 2 Resources & Worksheets

Problem solving is another skill people seeking social skills therapy often want to develop further.

A lack of opportunity to learn coping strategies and difficulty with emotional regulation have been associated with anxiety and low problem-solving abilities (Anderson & Kazantzis, 2008).

An individual’s lack of ability to problem solve in social situations significantly affects their ability to come up with reasonable solutions to typical social problems, which in turn, causes them to avoid more difficult social situations.

Practicing social problem solving is a key component of social skills training. This worksheet on Social Problem Solving allows your clients to define the problems they are facing and rate the potential solutions from low to high efficacy.

Based on the rating, therapists can instruct clients to practice their social reasoning during sessions. Practicing these skills builds clients’ confidence and increases the likelihood that they will access these solutions under pressure.

Similarly, the Imagining Solutions to Social Problems worksheet implements a related process, but challenges participants to engage in a visualization activity. While engaging in visualization, participants have the opportunity to imagine what they would say or do, and reflect on what they have learned and why the solution they chose was best for that particular problem.

4 Insightful Videos & Podcasts

Supplementing modeling and practical activities with interactive audio-visual aids, such as podcasts and videos, is an essential practice in ensuring that patients seeking social skills training are getting multiple perspectives to develop their social intelligence.

Below, we have provided resources to help your clients with different social skills and situations.

Videos

An introvert’s guide to social freedom – Kaspars Breidaks

This TEDx talk focuses on providing guidelines for self-identified introverts. In this video, Breidaks frames introversion as an opportunity, rather than a weakness.

Based on his experiences moving from a small town to a big city and eventually starting improv comedy, he developed a workshop to help integrate principles of improvisation into social skills training.

His workshops focus on creating connections through eye contact and breaking through shyness by training the small talk muscle. Because of his experience, he recommends you say yes to yourself before saying yes to others. Breidaks theorizes that only by developing our awareness of our own true emotions and thoughts can we become more comfortable interacting with others.

This video is helpful if your patients need workable tips to improve their interactions with strangers and is an excellent complement to some of our worksheets on developing skills for small talk.

10 Ways to have a better conversation – Celeste Headlee

This TEDx talk is focused on tactics to have more effective conversations. In her TED talk, Headlee emphasizes the importance of honesty, clarity, and listening to others as well as yourself.

Headlee shares her ideas about how to talk and listen to others, specifically focusing on sustaining clear, coherent conversation and the importance of clear, direct communication.

She argues that technology has interfered with the development of interpersonal skills, stating that conversation is an art that is fundamentally underrated and should be emphasized more, especially among young children.

The main point Headlee tries to get across is to avoid multitasking and pontificating during conversation. Individuals who are struggling with active listening and keeping a conversation going would benefit from the tips she offers in this video, as she uses a lot of the same principles when interviewing her radio guests to ensure that she is getting the most out of their appearances.

She specifically emphasizes the importance of being continually present while talking and listening to someone, which is strongly emphasized in social skills training.

Podcasts

How Can I Say This – Beth Buelow

This podcast provides tips and advice on challenging social situations including navigating difficult conversations, giving and receiving feedback in a professional setting, and negotiating your salary.

Each episode also provides techniques or approaches to help listeners become more confident when dealing with different social situations. The podcast also takes listener questions about dealing with social situations and issues.

If your clients are struggling with introducing themselves to new people, they may benefit from the episodes on talking to strangers and how to have difficult conversations.

Available on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Social Skills Coaching – Patrick King

King specializes in social interaction and communication, and he is a social skills coach based in San Francisco, California.

King focuses on using emotional intelligence and understanding human interaction to help break down emotional barriers, improve listeners’ confidence, and equip people with the tools they need for success.

Although King’s expertise is centered on romantic relationships, this podcast provides strategies to improve one’s emotional awareness and engage in better communication.

People engaging in social skills training would benefit from the episode on social sensitivity, which examines the social dynamics of the brain. It also explains why our brains are programmed to respond more to specific traits (e.g., warmth, dominance) and why people with those traits are often elevated to higher positions within the social hierarchy.

Available on Apple Podcasts.

PositivePsychology.com’s Helpful Tools

There are several resources available on our website to complement the social skills training that you are providing to your clients.

Our Emotional Intelligence Masterclass© trains helping professionals in methodology that helps increase their client’s emotional intelligence.

The client workbook has several exercises that practitioners can give their clients to develop an awareness of their emotions and, subsequently, understand how those emotions might contribute to interactions with others.

Our Positive Psychology Toolkit© provides over 400 exercises and tools, and the Social Network Investment exercise, included in the Toolkit, focuses on reflecting on a client’s current social network. By further looking into the amount of time and investment devoted to the members of their social network, clients can further identify who is supportive of their endeavors and who negatively affects experiences.

With this knowledge, relationships can be analyzed before devoting even more time and investment that might not facilitate positive emotions.

People who struggle with initiating conversation might also have trouble talking about their emotions. Our exercise on Asking for Support, also in the Toolkit, can provide assistance to someone having trouble communicating their emotions.

It also provides strategies to practice asking for help when needed. This exercise also gives you the opportunity to identify any personal barriers that are impending your ability to seek help from others.

You might be interested in this sister article, Social Skills Training for Kids, which provides top resources for teachers. To enhance your knowledge, our Social Skills Books for Adults & Kids is a must-read selection of top books.

If you’re looking for more science-based ways to help others enhance their wellbeing, this signature collection contains 17 validated positive psychology tools for practitioners. Use them to help others flourish and thrive.

A Take-Home Message

Improving social skills is an important skill to develop for anyone trying to facilitate professional and personal connections.

However, sometimes clients might not even realize they need targeted interventions to help with their social skills, and they might approach a therapist with other challenges around anxiety entering new situations.

For that reason, we hope this article provided valuable options for the development of social skills, with useful activities and social skills worksheets to be incorporated into your sessions.

We encourage you and your clients to explore these exercises together and engage in goal-setting tools to target areas that will benefit their daily lives, relationships, and communication.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Positive Psychology Exercises for free.

• Anderson, G., & Kazantzis, N. (2008). Social problem-solving skills for adults with mild intellectual disability: A multiple case study. Behaviour Change, 25(2), 97–108.
• Cognitive Development Learning Centre. (2019). Training eye contact in communication. Retrieved May 4, 2021, from https://cognitive.com.sg/training-eye-contact-in-communication/
• Fleming, C. (2013). It’s the way you say it: Becoming articulate, well-spoken and clear (2nd ed.). Berrett-Koehler.
• Social skills training. (n.d.). In Encyclopedia of mental disorder. Retrieved May 4, 2021, from http://www.minddisorders.com/Py-Z/Social-skills-training.html

Differences between the socialization of children and adults. Resocialization

3.10.2014

The process of socialization never ends. The most intensive socialization is carried out in childhood and adolescence, but personality development continues in middle and old age. Dr. Orville G. Brim (1966) argued that the following differences exist between the socialization of children and adults.

1. The socialization of adults is expressed mainly in a change in their external behavior, while children's socialization corrects basic value orientations.
2. Adults can evaluate norms; children are only able to assimilate them.
3. Adult socialization often involves understanding that there are many "shades of gray" between black and white. Socialization in childhood is based on complete obedience to adults and the implementation of certain rules. And adults are forced to adapt to the demands of different roles at work, at home, at social events, etc. etc. They are forced to prioritize in complex environments that require the use of categories such as “more good” or “less bad”. Adults do not always agree with parents; children are not allowed to discuss the actions of their father and mother.
4. Adult socialization aims to help a person acquire certain skills; socialization of children forms mainly the motivation of their behavior. Psychologist R. Gould (1978) proposed a theory that differs significantly from the one we have considered. He believes that the socialization of adults is not a continuation of the socialization of children, it is a process of overcoming the psychological tendencies that developed in childhood. Although Gould shares Freud's view that childhood traumas have a decisive influence on the formation of personality, he believes that some of them can be overcome. Gould argues that successful adult socialization is associated with the gradual overcoming of childhood confidence in the omnipotence of authority figures and in the obligation of others to take care of your needs. As a result, more realistic beliefs are formed with a reasonable measure of distrust of authorities and the understanding that people combine both advantages and disadvantages. Having got rid of children's myths, people become more tolerant, generous and kinder. Ultimately, the individual acquires much greater freedom.

Resocialization . The principle according to which the development of the personality throughout life is ascending and is built on the basis of consolidating the past is not immutable.

But the personality traits that were formed earlier are not unshakable. Resocialization is the assimilation of new values, roles, skills instead of the old, insufficiently assimilated or outdated ones. Resocialization covers many activities - from classes to improve reading skills to professional retraining of workers. Psychotherapy is also one of the forms of resocialization. Under its influence, people try to deal with their conflicts and change their behavior based on this understanding.

Key words: Socialization

Source: Stolyarenko L.D., Fundamentals of Psychology

Socialization, or How to become a man, not Mowgli

Socialization is a boring topic. Solid theory and abstruse reasoning about society. But it seems so only at first glance. In fact, socialization is our everything. When your parents taught you to eat with a fork, use the toilet and communicate, and the neighbor Marya Ivanovna shook her finger and insisted that walking on the lawns was bad, you were socialized. And this process continues to this day.

YouTube and television, the church and the work community - all these institutions instill certain values ​​and norms in our heads, carrying out socialization. Read the article further and you will learn the details, as well as understand why socialization is so important and what will happen if it is not completed in childhood. Spoiler: will be very bad.

Definition and stages of socialization

Socialization is a continuous process of preparing a person for life in society by getting to know social norms, values ​​and customs. In other words, it is the process of teaching public order, which is the development or change in a person's sense of self.

It is important to note that socialization is not a voluntary procedure. The process of establishing social order begins immediately after the birth of a person and long before he has the intellectual ability to understand what is happening. Let's see how it works.

First

Socialization begins in the maternity hospital, when newborns are divided into two large groups: boys and girls. Groups are immediately assigned different gender roles and status. Girls are swaddled in pink blankets and a priori assigned to them the roles of future mothers, keepers of the hearth, etc., and boys are swaddled in blue blankets and assigned to them the roles of leaders, breadwinners, and protectors.

In gender socialization, parents are the most powerful force, they treat boys and girls differently, imposing different expectations on them: they communicate with them differently, play, dress and even hug them depending on their gender. Carol Martin, a professor of gender development, segregation, and integration, conducted an experiment where she interviewed a group of adults, trying to find out what their gender expectations were for children.

It turned out that, in the opinion of most adults, boys should enjoy mechanical objects, dominate, be independent, aggressive, strive to compete, but not cry or get upset. Girls were expected to have such characteristics as tenderness, accuracy, responsiveness, good manners, silence, and a desire to help around the house [Koenig A. M., 2018]. Therefore, parents teach girls to look good, to be modest, to refuse dominance, and boys to show activity and avoid weakness.

Despite the fact that in some societies there has been a weakening of gender separation recently, the vast majority of families still raise children with the idea that the woman should give birth to offspring and bear the main responsibility for raising them, and men should earn money to provide for the family .

Second

In addition to gender socialization, parents carry out differentiated class socialization. Working class children are taught to be punctual and hardworking, to follow rules and directives. Representatives of the middle class - to value stability and cope with competition. Elite children are taught to be leaders, to think freely and express their own opinions, and to feel comfortable disagreeing even with authority figures.

According to Jean Anyon, a professor of education and social policy, in some countries the process of class socialization continues actively at school. In her opinion, teaching methods and educational philosophy are very different depending on the class of students and are aimed at preparing children for the appropriate production roles: factory workers, middle-class managers, top managers [Anyon J., 2016].

Third

Around the age of 5 or 6, children themselves begin to socialize with each other. They enforce gender and class expectations by poking fun at, ridiculing, or mocking those who fall outside of prescriptive stereotypes.

Fourth

The process of socialization at school lasts about 11 years and is marked by a graduation ball, the symbolic meaning of which is the transition of newly minted members of society into the adult world, where they must assume their respective roles.

Fifth

Next, the agents of socialization (that is, people, groups or institutions that contribute to the socialization of the individual) are universities, the media, churches, work collectives, etc. These institutions translate and reinforce a certain way of thinking and behavior. It should be noted that their influence is not always positive.

For example, in their research paper, digital technology expert, teacher Sarah Genner and professor of media psychology Daniel Suss point out that the media can indirectly or explicitly encourage undesirable values, such as: cruelty, drug addiction, extremism, preconceived beauty standards [Genner S., Suss D., 2016].

Associate Professor of Sociology at Athabasca University Mike Sosteric in one of his articles expressed the opinion that the well-known film Star Wars imposes on the audience a certain ideology, the purpose of which is "to turn passive and peaceful people into obedient instruments of violence" [Sosteric M. , 2018].

The socialization of the individual continues throughout life. As a person gets older, they face transitional stages that require socialization in a new role, such as when they retire, join the army, or move to another country where they need to learn new traditions, language, food habits. Such a process is called resocialization and involves the replacement of the previous set of values, beliefs and ideas of a person with a new ideology or worldview.

The importance of socialization

Despite the fact that socialization is often of a persuasive nature, it is worth recognizing its necessity and importance both for an individual and for the whole society.

First of all, this process helps to learn the skills necessary for life, such as the ability to speak, walk, read, write, use the toilet, take care of yourself and much more. There are documented observations of children who, for various reasons, did not undergo socialization at an early age, which led to extremely negative consequences. In his book Sociology, Professor John Shepard cites some shocking examples:

• Anna was born by an unmarried woman whose father was categorically against the child. Fearing his wrath, the woman hid Anna in the attic for 5 years. When the girl was discovered, she was barely alive, unable to walk, speak, and showed no signs of intelligence. Anna was placed in a boarding school, where over time she learned to understand simple commands, recognize people she had once seen, and walk. By the age of eight, she could bounce and catch a ball, participate in group activities, use the toilet, eat and dress herself. Her speech, mental development and social maturity were at the level of a two-year-old child. Anna died at the age of 10.
• Ginny spent 13 years in an isolated room where her father placed her. She was not accustomed to clothes, could not speak, walk or chew, and her social behavior was extremely primitive. Four years of attempts to socialize Ginny were unsuccessful: she could not read and spoke only in short phrases [Shepard J. M., 2020].

The socialization of children is especially important. The examples given illustrate this. Through socialization, people learn not only to perform elementary daily tasks, but also grow intellectually. This is the second important function of the socialization of the individual - to promote continuous development. When a person is in society and learns its values ​​and norms, he is not in danger of stagnation, because society is dynamic, and its laws are changeable.

Thirdly, the more socialized a person is, the easier it is for him to find his place in society. In the 1960s, American psychologist Harry Harlow conducted a series of experiments on rhesus monkeys. Despite the controversial, unethical and even cruelty of these experiments, Harlow's empirical work is considered a "classic" in behavioral science: it led to an understanding of the role that social relations play in early development.

Baby rhesus monkeys were taken from their mothers and raised in the laboratory, some were placed in separate cages without the possibility of contact with other monkeys. In social isolation, macaques showed inappropriate behavior, froze in one position in the corner of the cage, and engaged in self-mutilation.

When they were returned to a group of other monkeys, they did not know how to interact with them: they avoided their fellow monkeys, showed aggression and were not capable of normal sexual behavior, and some even died after refusing to eat [Harlow H. F., Dodsworth R. O., Harlow, M.K., 1965]. This experience shows that the lack of social learning leads to the most deplorable consequences.

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In his article "Socialization Wide and Narrow: The Family in the Context of Cultural Theory", Professor of Psychology and Ph. D. Jeffrey Arnett singled out three more key functions of socialization

1. Teaches control of impulses, promotes the development of self-regulation and conscience . Impulse control and the ability to self-regulate begin to develop in childhood when, through socialization, children learn that if they follow their selfish desires and simply do what they like, they will displease the people around them (parents, siblings, other adults or peers) and may be affected by their reactions.
2. Prepares for the performance of social roles: gender, professional, family or even racial, ethnic, caste.
3. Helps to find the source of meaning. Each person needs a source of meaning in order to understand what is important, valuable, what is worth living for. Usually people find meaning through socialization, when they gain knowledge about religion, the importance of family relationships, individual achievements or commitment to an ethnic group, nation [Arnett J. J., 2011].

Socialization is necessary not only for people to be able to function successfully in society and not have problems with personal adaptation, but also for the survival of the entire human species as a whole. The reproduction of a way of life, culture, knowledge depends on the transfer of social values, norms and rules from generation to generation. Babies are born completely helpless, and if the process of socialization is excluded, they will not survive, and society will eventually cease to exist.

Types of socialization

Since socialization is a complex and multifaceted process, there are many types of it. Let's take a look at some common ones.

Primary or basic socialization

Occurs at the very beginning of a child's life, primarily under the influence of the family. It is necessary for harmonious physical and mental development and includes the study of the language, rules of conduct, basic social norms and customs of the culture where the child was born.

Secondary socialization

Occurs outside the family and continues throughout life when a person is exposed to groups and situations that were not part of the primary socialization experience, such as at school, where a completely different behavior is required compared to what was familiar at home .

The growing child is learning very important social behavior lessons from his peers. Secondary socialization also takes place at the university, in the workplace or while traveling, i.e. in those cases when a person learns and adapts to the "laws of life" adopted in other groups.

Positive socialization

This is the process of assimilation of models and norms of behavior that are socially acceptable and desirable for society. For example, from childhood we are taught to give up a seat in transport to elderly people, not to take other people's things, to apologize when they caused someone trouble.

Negative socialization

It is a process opposite to positive socialization, and involves the assimilation of behavior patterns by a person that do not fit into the framework of generally accepted morality or are considered asocial. This includes alcohol abuse, drug addiction, the use of profanity, promiscuity.

Anticipatory or anticipatory socialization

This is the process of preparing a person for a change in status or role, when he masters the values ​​and standards of the group he plans to join. This type of socialization is necessary to facilitate the transition to a new group and successful adaptation in it.

The concept of anticipatory socialization was proposed by the American sociologist Samuel Stouffer. In one study, he found that enlisted soldiers who modeled their behavior in advance on the model of officers were more likely to get promoted than those who did not [Stouffer S. A., Lumsdaine A. A., Lumsdaine M. H., Williams R. M., Smith M. B., Janis I. L., Star S. A., Cottrell L. S., 1949].

An example of anticipatory socialization is the cohabitation of a man and a woman before marriage. This is how they get used to future new roles of husband and wife before they begin to fulfill them legally.

Formal socialization

Occurs in an organized environment, i.e. officially recognized institutions and organizations (for example, in a school or labor collective) through training in clearly established rules, norms, skills, responsibilities.

Informal socialization

This is a learning process that takes place outside the formal structure, when peers and other experienced members of a social group teach the newcomer how to play their roles.

Gender socialization

This is the process of teaching people how to behave in society in accordance with the gender that is “assigned” at birth based on the sex phenotype. Today, it is widely believed that most differences in gender expression are not due to genetic factors, but to the rigidly fixed expectations of society, which, according to Robert Blum, MD, lead to mental and physical problems in adolescents [Blum R. W., Mmari K. , Moreau C., 2017].

Cultural socialization

Mainly carried out by parents who introduce children to their race, ethnic heritage, cultural customs and traditions. Examples of cultural socialization are: reading books about historical figures, participating in cultural holidays, encouraging children to use their native language. It also includes such a concept as “preparation for bias”, when parents tell the child about the problems inherent in a particular culture, race (discrimination) and how to deal with them [Aldoney D., Kuhns C., Cabrera N., 2018] .

Repressive socialization

A type of socialization in which certain norms are taught through restrictions and punishments for "wrong" behavior. Repressive socialization is aimed at developing obedience and submission.

Participatory socialization

Represents the process of learning through rewarding "good" behavior.

Now that you know more about the types of socialization and why it is so important, let's get acquainted with the views of scientific minds on this process.

Theories of socialization

Unlike other living beings whose behavior is determined biologically, humans need social experience in order to reproduce their culture and survive. Because socialization is so important, psychologists, anthropologists, educators, sociologists and others have always sought to understand how it happens and what impact it has on the formation of self-identity. The results of their research were various theories of socialization. They will be discussed further.

1

The Mirror Self

In 1902, American sociologist and social psychologist Charles Horton Cooley developed the concept of the Mirror Self, in which people develop an idea of ​​themselves by observing how others perceive them. In other words, our "I" or sense of self develops through interaction with other people.

According to Cooley, this process consists of three parts: first, a person imagines how other people see him, then interprets their reactions to his behavior, and, finally, forms a self-esteem based on these interpretations. Favorable reflection in the "social mirror" develops positive self-esteem, while negative reflection leads to negative self-esteem.

For example, a person applies for a job and is confident that he or she can easily demonstrate professionalism and competence. When interacting with his new colleagues, he pays attention to their body language, how they talk and generally react to it. When co-workers demonstrate benevolence, such as maintaining eye contact or shaking hands firmly, the person's confidence in their own professionalism is strengthened. If a person receives a negative response, for example, colleagues look away or quickly end the conversation, he may doubt his own professionalism.

According to Cooley, not all reactions have the same weight. People take more seriously the opinions of those who matter to them and are trustworthy. Even if their reaction was misinterpreted, these erroneous judgments still affect self-esteem [Rousseau N., 2002].

2

Socialization through play

American psychologist, sociologist and philosopher George Herbert Mead believed that through socialization we learn to understand and anticipate what other people think and feel, as well as to be aware of ourselves. In essence, Mead agreed with Cooley, but added that the process of child play is crucial to personality development. Here's how he described it.

At first, the child simply imitates adults with whom he regularly communicates (primarily parents), imitating their gestures, movements and words. This is followed by a stage of play during which the child begins to take on the roles of parents, acting out adult behavior, for example, dressing up as "mother" or talking on a toy phone like a dad.

Pretending to be mom and dad, a child treats his dolls the way he thinks his parents treat him. So he better understands what behavior is expected of him. Older children through the game begin to take on the roles of not only significant relatives, but also other people, assimilating the general behavioral expectations of society from them (instead of the word “society”, Mead used the term “generalized other”, referring to the norms, values ​​and expectations of people in in general) [Mead G. H., 1934].

According to Mead, the formation of the true "I" occurs when a person begins to perceive himself as an object. This becomes possible only through the assimilation of attitudes obtained from interaction with others [Belik A. A., 2011].

3

Id, Ego, Super-Ego

The father of psychoanalysis, the Austrian psychologist Sigmund Freud, argued that personality consists of three elements: Id, Ego and Super-Ego. Their formation occurs in childhood.

The id is an unconscious, impulsive part of the psyche that requires the satisfaction of basic needs such as attention, safety, food and sex. The ego balances between the needs of the id and the demands of society, being the rational part of the personality. The super-ego (or social consciousness) develops as the norms and values ​​of society are assimilated, i.e. through socialization. It generates feelings of guilt or shame when one breaks social rules, as well as feelings of pride and self-satisfaction when one follows them.

According to Freud, the purpose of the superego is to improve and civilize behavior. It is necessary to suppress all unacceptable urges. If the Super-Ego does not become strong enough, a person is at risk that the id will push him to antisocial behavior [Freud S., 1926].

4

Theory of psychosocial personality development

Psychologist Eric Erickson was a follower of Freud, however, believing that personality development occurs throughout life and consists of 8 stages. Socialization occupies a central place in his theory: if it is successfully completed at each of the life stages, a person continues to develop, if not, then he stagnates [Erikson E. H., 19fifty].

5

Theory of cognitive development

The Swiss psychologist and philosopher Jean Piaget specialized in child psychology and considered the role of socialization through the prism of 4 stages of development of cognitive skills:

• The first stage is sensorimotor, lasts from birth to 2 years. At this stage, the child constructs an understanding of the world only through direct contact with it (touching, hearing, seeing).
• Second stage - preoperative (2-7 years). The child learns the language and begins to use symbols to represent objects.
• Third stage – concrete operations stage (7-12 years). The child now understands numbers, causes and effects, and can make rational decisions based on observed phenomena, but has difficulty with abstract concepts such as truth.
• The fourth stage is the stage of formal operations (12+). The child acquires the ability for abstract thinking, hypothetical and deductive reasoning [Wood K. C., Smith H., Grossniklaus D., 2001].

Piaget argued that children best pass through these stages of development through play and through active interaction with adults. He urged children to ask questions to make them think about their behavior, and believed that it was instructive for them to see contradictions in their reasoning.

6

Theory of moral development

The American psychologist Lawrence Kohlberg agreed with Piaget's theory, but decided to supplement it with his own ideas. He was especially interested in how people learn to understand what is social "good" and "bad". A consequence of Kohlberg's work was the theory of moral development, according to which a person goes through several stages on the path to morality:

• The first stage is pre-conventional morality. At this stage, the child accepts the social rules taught by his authority figures (parents, teachers) and follows them in order to avoid punishment.
• The second stage is generally accepted morality. The child follows the norms and values ​​of society, sincerely believing that this is necessary to ensure positive relationships and social order.
• The third stage is post-conventional morality. At this stage, a person begins to doubt the fairness and correctness of some social laws and rules.

According to Kohlberg, a person is guided by his own moral values, realizing that he is a separate entity that is not obliged to obey generally accepted rules if they are incompatible with his personal principles [Lind G., 1989].

7

Adapting Moral Development Theory

American psychologist, sociologist, and feminist Carol Gilligan disagreed with Kohlberg's conclusions, believing that they demonstrate a gender bias, since Kohlberg conducted his research exclusively on boys. Gilligan is sure that boys and girls tend to think differently, especially when it comes to morality.

In her study, Gilligan argues that boys seek justice by emphasizing compliance with formal rules and laws. For girls, interpersonal relationships, caring and sensitivity towards others are more important, which affects their moral decision making. If it is necessary to break some universal rule in order to help another person, a woman will not consider it immoral [Gilligan C.

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