Types of social skills for children

8 Important Social Skills For Kids And How To Teach Them

Teaching social skills for kids is one of the most complex, confusing, but rewarding aspects of raising young children.

It’s no secret that preschoolers and kindergarteners are naturally egocentric. Even when playing or interacting with others, many children have difficulty sharing, empathizing, collaborating, and cooperating.

HOMER is here to help you learn eight of the most important social skills for kids, as well as how to incorporate them into your family life.

8 Important Social Skills For Kids

1) Sharing

Sharing is a part of daily life. That doesn’t mean it’s easy!

Sharing is a difficult concept for young children to get behind. Toddlers, preschoolers, and kindergarteners have a particularly difficult time, as they are more focused on their needs and desires than the needs and desires of others.

This is normal. The feeling that something “belongs” to them is typically much stronger than their desire to please others.

Even though it’s hard to share, doing so is critical to a child’s social skill development, as it helps them keep and advance friendships. It’s also a great way to bond and show appreciation.

2) Listening

Active listening is an important skill that even some adults struggle with. Properly deciphering and absorbing information requires significant focus.

We all know this can be challenging for young kids, but active listening can strengthen their receptive language skills (the ability to comprehend spoken language).

Receptive language skills help your child:

• Handle social interactions
• Answer questions
• Understand stories
• Comprehend what they’re reading
• Understand gestures

While developing their social skills, your child will come to see how important it is to actively listen when others are speaking.

Paying attention to what someone is saying and responding directly to their statements or questions is a big part of healthy communication.

3) Following Directions

The cousin of good listening skills would be executing the instructions your child heard — a.k.a., following directions!

Following directions becomes particularly important once your child enters into their school years.

It’s one thing to follow directions at home with their parents where they’re innately comfortable; it’s another task entirely to follow directions from adult authority figures they may not know well.

Your child will learn how listening and following directions overlap with one another. If they listen well, it becomes easier for them to follow directions accurately. And when they follow directions accurately, they’ll often be rewarded for their hard work!

Keep in mind, however, that multi-step directions are challenging for young children. To help them develop the ability to follow directions, give them one direction at a time.

4) Collaborating And Cooperating

Similar to sharing, your child will learn how to move beyond sharing objects to sharing ideas, stories, and work.

With good collaboration and cooperation skills, children will learn that working in a group gives them a chance to express their ideas and listen to the ideas of others. It allows them to see that it can be fun to work on a shared project!

This may sound simple, but for young children, cooperation can often require real effort. It will take time for them to learn to respect others’ opinions even when they’re different.

By working together toward a common goal, kids can advance their sharing skills to include both intellectual and physical (think: cleaning the dinner table with a sibling) feats.

5) Patience

How many times have you heard the cliche, “Patience is a virtue”? Well, we are here to say it one more time!

It’s normal for young children to be impatient. However, patience really is one of the most rewarding social skills for kids.

Patience is critical for many things, including maintaining friendships and relationships and achieving big goals that can only be completed over an extended period of time.

This is where the concept of delayed gratification comes into play. When you help your child understand that good things often take time (not everything in life is microwaveable!), you nurture them into a patient person.

Learning patience takes practice and, you guessed it, patience! Trust that it will come with time (as everything does).

6) Empathy

When we say “empathy,” we’re referring to the traditional definition — the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

Your child will learn how to appreciate the similarities and differences between their lives and those of people they meet. They will also learn how to empathize with these people, no matter how different they are.

For young children, this can mean small gestures.

For example, if their friend or sibling cries because your child is playing with a specific toy, your child may pause and say, “I know you want to play, too. Don’t be sad. We can take turns!”

But this sense of empathy will likely not appear overnight! Empathy develops over time and across a variety of scenarios.

The easiest way to promote your child’s development of empathy is by showing it in action. When you extend grace to your child often, they will learn how to extend it back.

7) Respecting Boundaries

Some people require different emotional and physical boundaries than your child.

This can be a particularly difficult concept to learn, especially for very young children who receive most of their socialization from within the household.

Likely, if your child is extroverted, they may assume everyone is OK with hugs, questions, or lots of chit-chat. In some cases, they may be right! In others, they may accidentally cross boundaries in their efforts to be friendly.

Teaching your child how to ask permission and identify boundaries helps them establish a sense of respect between themselves and others. The same goes for helping them establish boundaries for themselves.

Let your child know that it’s OK to say no to hugs, kisses, or other displays of affection from someone — no matter who it may be — if they feel uncomfortable. Model this idea by asking questions yourself (“Would you like a hug?”).

When they make their boundaries clear and ask for others to do the same, it will make both parties feel much more at-home.

8) Positivity

Working on positivity can make it exponentially easier for your child to tackle many of the other social skills for kids we’ve mentioned, especially patience, boundaries, listening, and sharing.

With a positive attitude, your child will find it easier to make and keep friends, succeed in school, and achieve their goals.

The easiest way to demonstrate positivity is by modeling it. The more positive you are about your child’s social skill development (including their inevitable slip-ups), the more reassured and positive they will become themselves.

This doesn’t mean you have to be positive all the time. In fact, a healthy amount of honest criticism can be beneficial in helping your child learn to express their feelings.

To do this, start with your own emotions. Let them know how you’re feeling and how you’re managing it in real time if you can. Kids need to know it’s OK to be sad, angry, or mad sometimes and how to handle it.

How To Teach Social Skills To Kids

Now that you know what social skills for kids to include, how do you go about teaching them at home? Let’s take a look!

Normalize Mistakes

Your child should know that you do not expect perfection. There is no way to execute all of these social skills every time, everywhere, without mistakes.

That is OK! In fact, it’s encouraged. Mistakes are normal; they’re how we learn what went right or wrong.

Make sure you normalize this for your child. If they know all humans learn lessons this way, it’ll be easier for them to push through the sting of a mistake and try again.

Encourage Sharing (Without Violating Boundaries!)

Although sharing is great and should be encouraged, there may be some things that are special to your child that they don’t want to share. This can be especially true of stuffed animals, blankets, or special toys.

This is OK, too! It’s great for your child to set boundaries that you and other children respect. To encourage sharing, try not to force it.

Encouraging without forcing also demonstrates to kids how boundaries can be created, acknowledged, and respected between people.

This will motivate them to share with those around them by taking comfort in the fact that what is special to them has been kept sacred and separate. It will also encourage them to be direct about their and others’ boundaries when it comes to play, school, or emotional issues.

Check Their Listening

During social interactions within your own family or outside of it, pay attention to your child’s listening skills. You can observe them to see if they are listening carefully.

Do they seem engaged? Are the asking questions?

And remember it is just as important to listen to your child. This shows them that what they are saying is important and encourages them to listen to you in return.

Think About How You Give Directions

In teaching social skills for kids, the parent or authority figure is responsible for ensuring the directions they give are something a young child can execute successfully.

When giving instructions, be clear, firm, and gentle. As we mentioned earlier, children have a very difficult time executing tasks with many directions at once. Start with one direction at a time that your child can focus on.

When giving instructions, have your child repeat what you want them to do. Only give an additional instruction when the first has been completed. Repeat until the task is complete.

Your child can give you directions, too! That way they have a sense of what it takes to delegate, manage, and execute a task from start to finish.

Give Empathy To Get Empathy

Show your child that you think about other people’s emotions, too! This is less of a teaching moment and more of an authentic display of empathy.

If you see that your child is expressing an emotion, validate it for them. “Oh, I see that you’re excited. I love that you’re so eager and happy to do this!”

You can acknowledge negative emotions, too. For example, you might say, “I know that must make you angry. Do you know how I can tell? What can we do together to make you feel less unhappy?”

This not only helps them feel seen and heard in the moment, but it also gives them a direct example of how to tackle empathy with others in similar situations.

Social Skills For Kids Are Essential

The more your child experiences the benefits of social skills, the more intuitive these skills will become for them. However, all children learn at different rates. With practice (and patience!), we know they’ll get there.

The Learn with Sesame Street app is an effective tool that helps kids learn and develop their social and emotional skills. With the help of their Sesame Street friends, kids learn how to express their emotions, empathize with others, and create healthy relationships. Explore the Learn with Sesame Street app today!

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5 Important Types Of Social Skills For Kids

| Why Are Social Skills for Kids Important | 5 Types Of Social Skills For Kids | How to Teach Children Social Skills |

What Are Social Skills

Social skills are learned socially acceptable behavior, allowing children to interact with others positively and avoid negative responses^​1​.

Social skills are a combination of verbal and nonverbal behaviors appropriate for initiating and responding to a situation. They allow an individual to communicate with others while avoiding negative responses effectively^​2​.

Social skills generally emerge in early childhood. They encompass empathy, communication, generosity, team work, helpfulness, conflict resolution, and problem solving.

Why are social skills for kids important

Social skills are among the critical skills in life needed in child development. They are vital in forming healthy relationships and functioning within society^​3​.

Research shows that prosocial skills are positively linked to children’s peer acceptance, school adaptation, and academic achievement. They also contribute to a child’s intellectual, behavioral, selfand social-emotional development^​4​.

Children who are cooperative, helpful, empathic, friendly, sharing, and emotionally healthy are more likely to make friends^​5,6​.

Having friends to count on when you need them is essential. Healthy friendships are correlated with less delinquency during adolescence^​7​. Some childhood friendships can last for a lifetime.

Having difficulties with social skills can come from a variety of reasons, like not knowing how to act in social situations, not having enough opportunities to practice, not getting enough feedback, not being able to understand the cues others are sending, or not getting enough positive reinforcement for doing the right thing. Problematic behavior can make it harder for a child to learn and show prosocial behavior.

Kids who struggle to make friends or interact with peers are more likely to have emotional and social problems and poor academic performance.

Lack of social skills contributes to psychological stress, maladjustment problems, social isolation, and reduced self-esteem, which can greatly affect the quality of life in terms of mental and physical health^​8​.

In adulthood, social skills deficit is associated with low social competence, involving crime, social anxiety, depression, and unemployment^​9​.

5 Types of social skills for kids

Psychologists have identified five types of social skills that can facilitate interactions with others^​10​. 

Cooperation

Cooperation includes helping others, sharing toys, following rules, etc. It enables children to work together in a team, take turns, and problem-solve to achieve a common goal.

Teamwork is the cornerstone of cooperation, teaching children the value of working with others and understanding that their efforts are more powerful when combined.

Taking turns is also an important part of cooperating, as it allows children to practice being patient and showing respect while ensuring everyone can participate.

Good conversation skills, like using the right tone of voice, making eye contact, showing appropriate facial expression, and using proper body language, helps to get others to work with you.

Cooperation skills can help kids build relationships and interact more effectively with those around them.

Assertion

Assertion involves the ability to ask for information, respond to peer pressure, and be confident to express one’s opinions and feelings in an appropriate way.

For example, young children may have difficulty asserting themselves if others in the playground pick on them. Being able to stand up for themselves without resorting to physical aggression while being respectful and having self control is important in social interaction.

Responsibility

Responsibility is taking care of others or their properties. It is a social skill that requires one to think about their actions and the consequences to make good judgments.

Moral and critical thinking are both necessary to do that. Moral thinking helps a child distinguish between right and wrong ideas. Critical thinking skills allow them to analyze situations from different perspectives before making decisions that can affect others or the community.

Empathy

Empathy is a key social skill for children to develop to better interact with those around them. It is the ability to understand, share the feelings of another person, and show concern for others. It requires active listening skills, a positive attitude, and healthy communication.

Emotional skills

Not being able to control one’s emotions makes it hard to be cooperative, assertive, or empathic. Emotion regulation skills are essential to handling interpersonal conflicts, teasing, and corrective feedback without losing emotional stability.

How to teach children social skills

Social skills are acquired through learning processes, including observation, modeling, imitation, testing, and receiving feedback^​11​.

Parents, being the primary role models, play essential roles in a child’s socialization experiences.

Children begin learning social skills at home through interactions with their parents, through the quality of their relationship, as well as through parental modeling^​12​.

When your child struggles to make friends, it can be heartbreaking.

Here are what parents can do to help children develop their social skills.

Warm and responsive parenting style

Studies have indicated a link between parenting quality and children’s social development.

Children with consistently warm and responsive parents in early childhood are more likely to learn appropriate norms of behavior^​13​.

Responsive parents model showing kindness and empathy for others. Thus, these children tend to be more cooperative and empathic^​14​.

This parenting style is also associated with better emotional control in children. Children have better self-control and can stay calm when handling difficult social situations.

Inductive discipline

Inductive parenting is using reasoning to teach children manners and prosocial behavior. Children internalize social rules and moral values. They develop critical thinking skills and learn to tell right from wrong^​15​.

Children with more critical thinking skills are more capable of assertively resisting peer pressure and setting personal boundaries against inappropriate behaviors^​16​.

Coaching

Set aside regular discussion time to coach children by giving them instructions on skills.

Teaching children general principles of social interaction will help them to behave acceptably in a variety of social situations^​17​.

Coaching requires going over hypothetical or past scenarios and teaching children new ways of handling them differently for positive outcomes. Use role-play to practice and refine responses.

This may be a less effective tool for children younger than seven because they may struggle to apply it to other situations^​18​. But older children can generalize their own social scripts to their own needs, making them more effective.

Let them play together

Play is a primary activity for kids, especially young children. It is a key factor in promoting learning and social development.

Pretend play, in particular, has been found to enhance children’s social skills^​19​. It gives children lots of practice in their communication skills. These group activities also provide opportunities for conversations and reciprocity.

Children in make-believe play create imaginary situations, act out roles, and follow social rules based on their roles.

Most of the roles children play are those of adults (parents, doctors, drivers, chefs, and others) who engage in behaviors that are socially desirable. When children imitate these behaviors in play, they practice turn-taking, planning, self-monitoring, and self-reflecting, all vital to prosocial behavior^​20​.

Reinforcement

When children practice their social skills, receiving feedback regarding their success or room for improvement can help them improve.

Parents can use positive feedback as a reinforcement for positive social behavior^​21​. Praise your child for sharing a toy with their friend, showing flexibility in games, or performing other prosocial acts. Also show your child plenty of positive attention in correcting antisocial behavior.

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References

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   McIntyre LL, Blacher J, Baker BL. The transition to school: adaptation in young children with and without intellectual disability. J Intellect Disabil Res. Published online May 2006:349-361. doi:10.1111/j.1365-2788.2006.00783.x

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   Zsolnai A. Relationship Between Children’s Social Competence, Learning Motivation and School Achievement. Educational Psychology. Published online June 2002:317-329. doi:10.1080/01443410220138548

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   Furnham A. PERSONALITY, SOCIAL SKILLS, ANOMIE AND DELINQUENCY: A SELF-REPORT STUDY OF A GROUP OF NORMAL NON-DELINQUENT ADOLESCENTS. J Child Psychol & Psychiat. Published online July 1984:409-420. doi:10.1111/j.1469-7610.1984.tb00160.x

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   Beauchamp MH, Anderson V. SOCIAL: An integrative framework for the development of social skills. Psychological Bulletin. Published online 2010:39-64. doi:10.1037/a0017768

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   Obradović J, Burt KB, Masten AS. Testing a Dual Cascade Model Linking Competence and Symptoms Over 20 Years from Childhood to Adulthood. Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology. Published online December 31, 2009:90-102. doi:10.1080/15374410903401120

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    Heyes C. What’s social about social learning? Journal of Comparative Psychology. Published online 2012:193-202. doi:10.1037/a0025180

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    Landry SH, Smith KE, Swank PR, Assel MA, Vellet S. Does early responsive parenting have a special importance for children’s development or is consistency across early childhood necessary? Developmental Psychology. Published online 2001:387-403. doi:10.1037/0012-1649.37.3.387

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    Zhou Q, Eisenberg N, Losoya SH, et al. The Relations of Parental Warmth and Positive Expressiveness to Children’s Empathy-Related Responding and Social Functioning: A Longitudinal Study. Child Development. Published online May 2002:893-915. doi:10.1111/1467-8624.00446

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    Csapó B. The Development of Inductive Reasoning: Cross-sectional Assessments in an                Educational Context. International Journal of Behavioral Development. Published online May 1997:609-626. doi:10.1080/016502597385081

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    Scull TM, Kupersmidt JB, Parker AE, Elmore KC, Benson JW. Adolescents’ Media-related Cognitions and Substance Use in the Context of Parental and Peer Influences. J Youth Adolescence. Published online October 1, 2009:981-998. doi:10.1007/s10964-009-9455-3

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    Ogilvy CM. Social Skills Training with Children and Adolescents: a review of the evidence on effectiveness. Educational Psychology. Published online January 1994:73-83. doi:10.1080/0144341940140105

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    Li J, Hestenes LL, Wang YC. Links Between Preschool Children’s Social Skills and Observed Pretend Play in Outdoor Childcare Environments. Early Childhood Educ J. Published online October 9, 2014:61-68. doi:10.1007/s10643-014-0673-2

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About Pamela Li

Pamela Li is an author, Founder, and Editor-in-Chief of Parenting For Brain. Her educational background is in Electrical Engineering (MS, Stanford University) and Business Management (MBA, Harvard University). Learn more

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Social skills of preschoolers - the development of social skills in children

The development of social skills is a necessary point of education. A child with a high degree of socialization will quickly get used to kindergarten, school, any new team; in the future will easily find a job. Social skills have a positive effect on interpersonal relationships - friendship, the ability to cooperate.

Let's figure out what social skills are.

What are social skills and why develop them?

Social skills - a group of skills, abilities that are formed during the interaction of a person with society and affect the quality of communication with people.

Man is a social being: all our talents and aspirations are realized thanks to other members of the group. Others evaluate our actions, approve or condemn our behavior. It is difficult to reach the pinnacle of self-actualization alone.

That is why social skills are important. They should be developed from early childhood and honed throughout life.

Social skills are a reflection of the child's emotional intelligence, to which educators and teachers assign an important role in the process of personality development. Without this group of skills, a smart child will not be able to apply the acquired knowledge in practice: it is not enough to create something outstanding, you need to be able to correctly convey thoughts to the public.

Sometimes people mistakenly believe that social skills relate exclusively to the topic of communication, communication. In fact, skills include many multidirectional aspects: an adequate perception of one's own individuality, the ability to empathize, work in a team, etc.

Why do we need social skills?

1. Regulate the area of ​​interpersonal relationships: the child easily makes new friends, finds like-minded people.
2. Minimize psychological stress: children with developed social skills quickly adapt, do not feel sad due to changes in external circumstances.
3. They form an adequate self-esteem from childhood, which positively affects life achievements and development in adulthood.
4. Social skills cannot be separated from building a successful career: the best specialists must not only understand the profession, but also have high emotional intelligence.

Development of social skills in a child

Social skills need to be developed from preschool age, but older children and even teenagers may well learn to interact with the world.

It is recommended to pay attention to areas of life that bring discomfort to the child, significantly complicate everyday life.

1. Friends, interesting interlocutors: the kid does not know how to join the team, he prefers to sit in the corner while the others play.
2. Verbal difficulties. The child does not understand the rules of conversation, is poorly versed in the formulas of etiquette (when you need to say hello, say goodbye, offer help).
3. Problems with the non-verbal side of communication. Such a baby does not recognize the shades of emotions, it is difficult to understand how others relate to him. Cannot "read" faces and gestures.
4. Does not know the measure in expressing a point of view: too passive or, conversely, aggressive.
5. The child bullies classmates (participates in bullying) or is a victim.

In case of severe moral trauma, one should consult a psychologist: for example, school bullying is a complex problem that children are not able to cope with on their own. The involvement of parents and teachers is required.

In other cases, family members may well be able to help the child develop social skills.

What are the general recommendations?

1.

Don't push your child to get the job done. Let them take the initiative: for example, do not rush to help during school gatherings, let the baby work on the problem on his own. The same goes for lessons and other activities.

2. Support undertakings

Children's dreams seem trifling to adults, but the initiative turns into a habit over the years and helps to discover new projects, meet people, and experiment.

3. Criticize the right way

When making negative comments, remember the golden rule of criticism: analyze the work, highlighting both positive and negative sides in a polite way. Commenting on the specific actions of the child, and not his personality or appearance - this will lead to problems with self-esteem.

4. The right to choose

It is important for children to feel that their voice is taken into account and influences the course of events. Invite your child to personally choose clothes, books, cartoons. Ask about ideas, plans: “We are going to have a rest together at the weekend. What are your suggestions?

5. Personal space

Make sure that the baby has a place where he can be alone and take a break from talking. Personal things should not be touched: rearrange without prior discussion, read correspondence with friends, check pockets, etc.

Children, noticing the respectful attitude of adults, quickly begin to pay in the same coin; the atmosphere in the family becomes warm and trusting.

What social skills should be developed in a child?

Let's dwell on the main qualities and skills, the development of which is worth paying attention to.

1. The ability to ask, accept and provide help

Without the ability to ask for help, the child will deprive himself of valuable advice; the lack of the ability to accept help will lead to losses, and the inability to provide help will make the baby self-centered.

• Let the child help those in need: for example, a lagging classmate.
• Explain to your child that getting help from friends and teachers is not a shame.
• Show by personal example that mutual help enriches experience: tell how you exchange advice with colleagues, friends.

2. The ability to conduct a conversation and get the right information

Being a good conversationalist is difficult, but the skill is honed over time and brings a lot of benefits.

• Prompt your child for dialogue development options: for example, you can start a conversation with a relevant question, a request for help.
• Do not leave the child in the role of a silent listener: when discussing pressing issues at home, ask the opinion of the baby.
• Support children's public speaking: presentations at school, performances, funny stories surrounded by loved ones will add confidence.

3. Empathy

Empathy is the ability to recognize the emotions of others, put yourself in the place of another person, empathize.

This ability will make the child humane, prudent. How can it be developed?

• Start by recognizing the child's feelings - it is useless to listen to people if the person does not feel personal experiences. Ask your baby: “How do you feel after a quarrel with friends?”, “Do you want to relax today?”
• After conflicts with classmates, ask your child how the children with whom the quarrel may feel now.
• While watching cartoons, reading books, pay your child's attention to the emotional state of the characters.

4. Ability to work in a team

Many children can easily cope with tasks alone, but this is not a reason to refuse to work in a team. It gives the opportunity to exchange ideas and experience, delegate tasks, achieve goals faster and more efficiently.

• If the child does not communicate with members of the team, try to introduce him to another social group: for example, the lack of communication with classmates can be compensated by a circle of interests, where the child will feel calmer.
• Make the family a friendly team in which the child has his own "duties": for example, do housework, remind parents of upcoming events. Any activity related to the well-being of other family members will do.

5. Respect for personal boundaries

The absence of an obsessive desire to interfere in other people's lives is a valuable skill that helps to win people's sympathy.

• Respect the child's personal boundaries: do not enter the nursery unannounced, do not rummage through personal belongings and correspondence, if the matter does not concern the life and safety of the baby.
• If the child violates other people's boundaries (takes toys without permission, asks uncomfortable questions), talk about it in private.

6. Ability to overcome conflict situations

It is difficult to imagine our life without conflicts. The task of the child is to learn how to culturally enter into a discussion, defend his point of view, and not be led by the provocations of his interlocutors.

• Discuss problems that arise calmly, without raising your voice. Do not put pressure on the child with parental authority unnecessarily: the child is a separate person who has the right to an opinion.
• Do not judge people for views that differ from those of your family but do not affect your well-being. Show your child that the world is very different.
• You can demonstrate to children the basics of a civilized dispute, explain what arguments are, etc. It is advisable to teach this child in kindergarten.

7. Self-confidence

Stable and adequate self-esteem is a quality that not all adults possess.

It is formed under the influence of many factors: relationships between parents, the role of the child in the family circle, the characteristics of the environment that surrounded the child in early childhood.

It is important that the child does not grow up to be either a narcissistic narcissist with fragile self-esteem, or an overly shy person. How can you help your child find balance?

• Praise your child for personal progress: to receive a compliment from parents, it is not necessary to win prizes in school competitions. The zeal of the baby, the interest shown and the stamina also deserve praise.
• Explain, remind the children that initially they are worthy of respect and love, like all people around.

Social skills will help in many areas of life: in studies, hobbies, friendships, building a reputation in a team. The main thing is to encourage and support children at all stages.

Emotional intelligence for children

We introduce children to the types of emotions, how to manage them and how to show themselves in teamwork, through situational games

learn more

Psychological and pedagogical conditions for the formation of social skills in young children

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