What should i teach my 4 year old

Start buying lots of jeans!    The more practice your child has with buttoning and zippering, the better he will become!  If the buttons on jeans are still a bit too difficult, you can use a practice tool like this or you can start with a button toy like this one to get your child used to the motion.

How to tie his shoes.

Kindergartners shoes come un-tied CONSTANTLY.  (If I had a dollar for every shoe I've tied...) Unlike preschool, there's one teacher per class and she is responsible for a lot!  That means, sometimes un-tied shoes go unnoticed.  If your child is capable of tying her own shoes, it will not only make your mornings easier but will also keep your child safer throughout the day!

There is no trick to this one.  Practice makes perfect. There are lots of little rhymes that can help but the bottom line is that your child will simply have to practice this regularly!   You can add this to the shoe routine we talked about earlier!   You can also use a practice shoe but I'd highly suggest going for one with a bit of extra weight like this one!

How to open his lunch

Lunchrooms are noisy and crowded and never have enough teachers in them.  At lunch, the staff is a skeleton crew of teachers who got tagged with Lunch duty for the day.  Not to mention, the cafeteria is loud and can be a bit scary for a kindergartener. If your child is brave enough to raise his hand and ask for help then he still has only about a 50% chance of being heard!  That's why it is super important for your child to be capable of opening everything in his lunch box, from his drink to his Tupperware container.

Within the first few weeks of school, your child's teacher will start asking him to write his own name on his schoolwork.   Giving him a headstart on this will not only be a great help to the teacher, but it will also help your child feel like one of the smartest kids in the room!  And research shows that if a child believes that they are smart in kindergarten, they tend to get higher grades throughout their entire school career!

As with many other things, teaching your child to write his name is about practicing the skill! Grab this Pack of Fine Motor worksheets to get a FREE Name Practice Page!  Keep doing this at least one time per week - more is better!  Eventually, you'll be able to write it on one line and have him copy it onto the next.  Then finally, he should be able to write it all on his own!  Just a warning.. for some kids, this could take months of practice!

YOU MIGHT NOT BE READY  BUT THEY SHOULD BE.

Grab this FREE Kindergarten Readiness Checklist!

How to speak up in front of strangers

As a kindergartener, your child will receive a grade for participation.  So when the teacher calls his/her name in class, she will expect a response that is loud enough for her to hear.  But that's not the only reason your child will need public speaking skills.  In the even that your child would get separated from his class in the hall or on the playground, he needs the ability to speak up and talk to an adult about his issue.  Having this skill means that your child's need are more likely to be met!

Take your child out to lunch and have him order his own food!  Help him out by quietly telling him what to order instead of answering for him.

Also, watch out for spontaneous opportunities! Often, adults will ask children what their name is or how old they are.  Instead of answering for them, just look at them and wait for an answer!

8 simple steps to teach children to respect and hear their parents?

Naughty children: why did they not please their parents?
In order for such children to behave "normally", adults have to make efforts: to restrain, control, repeat, refuse, punish and warn. And that's the point: we don't want to strain ourselves by raising children. It would be more convenient for the child to be controlled like a toy with a remote control.

You tell your child: “You need to wash your face” or “Wash your hands!”, but he does not listen to you. You remind that it's time to break away from the computer and sit down for lessons, he frowns with displeasure: "Leave me alone!" - Of course, it's a mess.

Smart parents have funny, smart and obedient children. Moreover, smart and loving parents take care of this: they make sure that their children are not only smart, but also obedient. This seems obvious: if you want to teach a child to do good things, you first need to teach him to obey you elementarily.

Unfortunately, ordinary children have long been accustomed to not listening to their parents: you never know what they say! And the point here is not in the children, but in us, in the parents, when we say things that are important for us to the children somehow not seriously, not paying attention to whether the children are listening to us or not, when we put forward our demands unconvincingly.

Your requests should be calm but clear instructions, sound weighty and be accompanied by control. The child must know that your words are not empty words, and if you warn that toys that are not removed are thrown away, they really disappear. If a parent approaches a child with a confident request, knowing that he has leverage, the child will respond to such a request.

But it's not just about the right wording and levers of influence, there is another important trick in building relationships with a child, namely, whether your child has a HABIT to obey you. "To obey or not to obey parents" is determined not only by what and how the parents say, it is also determined simply by the child's habits.

There are children who have the habit of mindlessly obeying everyone, and there are children who have the same habit of mindlessly disobeying anyone. Obeying "everyone" or "no one" are equally bad habits, but the habit of obeying selectively, namely, OBEYING YOUR PARENTS, is a great habit! Your children should have the habit of paying attention to what you say, the habit of doing what you ask them to. Teach your child to listen and obey you, and you will have your parental authority, you will have the opportunity to raise a developed and thinking person from your child.

Is it difficult to get your children into this habit? Much depends on age: it is difficult to teach a teenager to obey his parents, it is almost impossible for many mothers, and developing such a habit in a small child is a solvable task. In principle, the sooner you begin to develop in your child the habit of listening and obeying you, the easier it will be for you.

The easiest method to help you with this is the "Eight Steps" method. Its idea is to teach your child to obey you, starting with the simplest, most elementary things, and very gradually, methodically move step by step to more difficult things. From simple to complex.

First, we do what any parent can do with any child, then we add a little, then a little more - and so we go a long way from a natural child to a well-bred child who already understands that people who are loving and more experienced than him should obey right.

The age at which the Eight Steps algorithm works best is from 2 to 12 years. After 12 years, a well-bred child should already become your friend and helper, you are no longer so much raising him, but helping him in his self-education, helping him to solve life's tasks in the best way.

Now let's get down to business. What are these steps?

Step 1: Addition.

As the King from Antoine Saint-Exupéry's fairy tale "The Little Prince" said, controlling the sunrise is easy, you just need to know when the sunrise occurs. Say at the right moment: "Sun, rise!", and you will become the lord of the rising sun... So is the child: if the child does not obey you yet, he still does something. Go from what is, adapt to what he does, and direct his activity in the direction you need.

The child runs, you shout to him: "Well done, faster, faster!" - he happily adds speed.

Sit down at the table, you know what the child loves, what he will still reach for. Get ahead of him: "Take your favorite bread!" You said he took it.

Little Nikita likes to clap his hands. "How does Nikita clap her hands? - Clever girl, Nikita! And now, Nikita, show me how the car hums! ... Wonderful!" - you teach him to do what you tell him. He is one and a half years old, and he is already learning to listen to you and obey.

If you can't manage, take the lead. You cannot (yet) control the behavior of the child - adapt to what he does anyway, and what he wants to do himself.

Step 2: Taming: Train to come when called.

Do you know what "attach" means? The fisherman throws food into the river - he attracts fish. When an ancient man decided to tame wild dogs, he also started with affection, then he began to feed them, then stroke them, and gradually taught them to run up to him when he called them. Have you already tamed your children? Do they come running to you when you call them? If your children are still wild, start like an ancient man by taming them.

Your child likes to crunch apples or nibble cookies: your task is to make sure that access to these sweets is not free, but only through you. This is not in the vase, but you can give it to your child. Now you don’t wait until he starts begging from you, but choosing a good time, you yourself announce: “Who wants a tasty apple, quickly runs to me!”, “Cookies, cookies, delicious cookies for obedient kids. ” Children run, you treat them and pat them on the head: "Well done, how quickly you run to your mother!" So the hunt has taken place - you are already accustoming children to come to you when you call them.

Invite your child to you - and praise him when he comes to you! A bait can be not only food, but everything that the child likes: and squeeze the cream on the cake, and cut the bread, and the time when you can play with the child in the games that he loves. "Mom has five minutes! Whoever comes running quickly can play hide and seek with her!" Important: if a child comes running, you reinforce it: give a bait and praise. If the child is in no hurry to run, comes later and demands, you don’t give a bait: “That’s it! It’s all over!”, but you prompt: “When mom calls, you need to run quickly!”. Teach your child to fulfill your requests, reinforcing it with joy.

Step 3. Learning to negotiate.

Your child will be intelligent and not capricious if you teach him to use his mind. And for this, take the time to explain to the child what is good and what is bad - and teach him to negotiate. You can try to talk intelligently with a child even at two years old, and if your child is already three years old, this is already a must. Teach your child to negotiate and fulfill agreements!

You and your child are on the playground, it's time for you to leave, but the child doesn't want to leave, he wants to play more. Just command?

The child may begin to protest with a roar. What to do?

Negotiate.

The first agreement - before coming to the playground. "You want to go to the playground, but we can't play there for a long time, I will need to return home, cook dinner. You promise me that when I say that it's time for us, you won't cry, but will say goodbye to all the children and go with me home? Won't you keep me?" The second conversation is when it's time for you to leave. Most likely, the child will begin to whine: "Mom, I have a little more!". Here your task is to calmly cut him off from the players and discuss how to behave correctly in such a situation. “If you promised that you would not whine and cry when you need to go home, you can’t whine and cry. Otherwise, how will they believe you next time?”

Here it is important that respect for agreements is supported by all close adults, there is only one position: "Agreed - it is necessary to fulfill it. And whoever does not fulfill the agreements is a violator, a whim and a small one, nothing serious can be allowed to him." We agree and do not be capricious.

Step 4: No whims.

An obedient child not only DOes what you ask him to do, he also STOPS doing what you do not like. The child tries to fight the will of his parents through his whims and tantrums, and your task at this step is to stop reacting to them in any way. Learn to do your own thing without reacting to the whims of the child - in those cases when you yourself are sure that you are right and you know that everyone will support you.

You are all hurrying to the train, packing your things. In this case, the whims of the child "Come play with me!" will be easily ignored by everyone, including grandmothers. Teach your child that there are important things to do. Teach your child to say, "This is important." If you sat down in front of him and, looking into his eyes, holding his shoulders, calmly and firmly say: "Adults now need to get together, and we will play with you later. This is important!" - then soon the child will begin to understand you. It is important!

Step 5: Requirements.

Your child already quickly comes running to you when you call him with something tasty, he stopped being capricious and no longer throws tantrums. As a rule, he will do what you asked him to do, but he is not yet used to the fact that you can seriously demand something from him. Requests are soft, while demands are hard and mandatory. Is that the way to listen? At this step, again act consistently, but carefully, at first demand a minimum and only when everyone supports you.

The child is already old enough to... In order not to take a toy from someone else's child, to pick up a fallen mitten yourself, to put porridge in your mouth yourself... - Always look for those moments when your demands will be supported by everyone around you, so that even the grandmothers at least kept silent.

If you have too many demands on your child, if he does not keep up with your numerous demands, or if you do not have the support of others, do not push. Like politics, education is the art of the possible. Napoleon himself taught his commanders: "Give only those orders that will be carried out."

Nevertheless, gradually remove the bait as something obligatory, start calling the child already without rewarding him with something tasty. It's time to teach the child that if mom (especially dad) is his name, you need to come simply because he was called. If he doesn’t go right away, they repeated it, but achieved it. And now they drew his attention to the fact that you had to wait for him, and asked him to come when his mother calls. No need to swear, just say: "When mom calls, you need to come right away!" - and kiss! Slowly, your child will begin to learn it.

Step 6: Responsibilities.

Requirements are one-time, while duties are a system of permanent requirements for a child. The time has come to teach the child that each member of the family has his own responsibilities, and he must participate in family affairs on an equal basis with mom and dad. Having explained this to the child, begin to confidently give him tasks, but also act gradually here: let him first choose his duties according to his strength, let him do what is not difficult for him, or, all the more, even want a little.

This step is more difficult for mothers than for children. Moms really want to do everything themselves and not strain the child. So, dear mothers and, in principle, parents, make sure that the child always has things to do at your request. The child should not fade away the understanding that he has tasks, and he must do it. Clean up the bed, take away the cup, wash the dishes, run to the store - most likely, it’s easier and cheaper for you to do it all yourself, but you are educators, so your task is to restrain yourself, not to do it yourself and entrust it to the child every time .

At first, the child has to be reminded of his duties, after a while the duty to remember should fall on the child himself. Remembering your responsibilities is also the responsibility of the child!

Step 7: Self-reliance.

When a child already knows what duties are, it's time to teach him to be independent. The ability to obey is the basis of smart independence. The independence of an obedient child lies in the fact that you can already give him difficult tasks in the confidence that he will complete them completely on his own, without your help and prompts. It’s not just “Go to the store” or “It’s your responsibility to take out the bucket”, but “Pack up all the things you will need on the trip”, “Grandma needs help digging up a garden in the country”, “Toothache? Call the clinic, Find out when the doctor is, go and get your teeth fixed. " As usual, not everything will turn out right away, at first the child will need your tips, help and support, but the more often he begins to successfully cope with difficult assignments, the faster he will wake up a taste for independence. So, move from simple to complex, from dense, frequent and specific clues to rare and general clues, and thus gradually move on to more and more difficult and independent tasks, mostly on the most positive background, with small irregular reinforcements and rare large ones.

Ideally, if you go somewhere for a relatively long time, your child should be able to live without you without major problems. He is already on his own!

Step 8: Responsibility.

Well, the last step remains: responsibility. Women do not really like the word "responsibility", they are closer to "caring", but there is a difference between these words: a caring person pays only with efforts and soul, and a person responsible for his mistakes pays really. If you entrust a child with a responsible task, for this, in the event of a puncture, either the child or you will have to pay. But children grow up, it's time to acquaint them with responsibility, and now you entrust the child with not just deeds, but responsible deeds: those for which you need to answer to other people or, simply, pay for mistakes.

You instructed a child to place an expensive service on the table. Or put money in the bank. Or - to bring a little sister from the kindergarten ... Will she not break it? Will not lose? Will not forget?

When taking on a responsible task, the child already knows the price of a mistake, and treats the assignment responsibly: he will think everything over, remember, follow up and check, and he will definitely report back to you at the end.

When a child learns this too, you can be proud - you are already an adult. You have raised an adult, responsible person! Remember, it all started with quiet, neat outbuildings to a completely naughty child?

Of course, and after that no one will promise you that your children will become angels and will never disobey you. Everything is possible, our children do not always obey us. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. How to react to it? Calmly. If you act wisely, you will solve this issue without difficulty.

By the way, is there anything after the eighth step, after the formation of responsibility in the child? Your child is not only ready to fulfill your requests, he knows his duties, he is a completely independent and responsible person. And it's all? Is there anything else we want to give our child? Tell me, when and how will we set the task so that our children grow up as loving people?

Should children listen unquestioningly to their parents?
There can be no unequivocal answer to this question precisely because parents are different. There are parents - alcoholics, there are - smart and loving. If we talk about smart and loving parents, then our answer will be positive: yes, children should obey such parents implicitly. Why? What for? Because smart and loving parents love their children and will never demand from their children what will be harmful to children. Such parents love to just talk to their children, spend time with them - and listen to what the children share with them. You don’t often hear demands on your children from them, and they demand only what is really necessary.

5 years old: when going out on the road, you need to take your mother by the hand and not play around here. 10 years: first lessons, then computer games. 15 years: at 22.00 - sleep!

Usually they don't even demand it, but gently ask, rather suggest and remind, and that is enough.

50 Things I Want to Teach My Son

April 18, 2014, 2:18 PM

Posted by Dmitry Gorchakov

Recently, I seriously thought about my relationship with my son. I love him, but is this all I can and should give him? The task turned out to be not trivial: so that really seriously, not on the run, sit down and calmly think: “Are my children developing correctly? Am I satisfied with the way we communicate? And they? What should I teach my children and what do I really teach them?”

No, I'm not talking about self-discipline or making complex scientific plans for "moral and psychological preparation of the younger generation", let them do it in schools. But some certainty in this question is still worth making.

Then I sat down and made a list of things that I absolutely must teach my son.

1. How to ride a bike.
2. How to throw the ball and hit the ring.
3. How to organize your reading and how to write well.
4. That life has not only a beginning, but also an end.
5. How to treat women.
6. Relationships are a two-way street.
7. Fighting is not good, but necessary.
8. How to shave.
9. If you think that a girl is beautiful, then you should tell her about it.
10. Not everyone on the planet has wealth, so be grateful for what you have.
11. Do not refuse help to those who really need it.
12. The only support you can definitely count on in this life is your strengths and skills.
13. Our planet needs protection. Don't litter to begin with.
14. Life is sometimes very difficult. But after the fall there is always a rise.
15. An easy life is a boring life. A boring life is a wasted life.
16. The world is not only your house and your neighbor's yard. It's big and needs to be explored.
17. Everything in the world is logical and everything has its own explanation. If you have met magic, then it means that you simply do not see the transparent threads of the magician.
18. You study while you live. Conversely, you live until you stop learning.
19. Logic and reason are all you need in life.
20. Knowledge is power, yes. But some things are better not to know.
21. If you fell in love, then try to keep this feeling as long as possible.
22. Be slow in relationships. This area does not tolerate fuss and haste.
23. The decision to live together is a very big step. Very often after that everything collapses.
24. If a relationship fizzles out, then have the courage to end it. Don't pull.
25. Sometimes you have to lie. And only the cause determines whether it is right or not.
26. Drugs are too expensive. You will have to give your life for them.
27. ... the same with alcohol.
28. ...but it's not about sex.
29. If the sex isn't too good, then make it so. If you can't, then it's best to leave.
30. Intimacy is really very important in a relationship.
31. Never settle for second grade just because it's more affordable.
32. Honesty is the foundation of successful relationships. Except in certain cases when the lie is really necessary.
33. Always follow your inner compass. He will show you the correct and honest way.
34. Be kind to people and appreciate them.
35. The main goal in life is to find your purpose.
36. Your task is to do something that benefits people, and you - pleasure. If there is neither the first nor the second, then there is no point in doing this.
37. Always try to win.
38. Take defeat as a lesson.
39. Never give up on your dreams.
40. You must set long-term and short-term goals for yourself.
41. You can control your body and mind.
42. Meditate regularly.
43. Always stay physically active and stay in shape.
44. Proper nutrition is the key to health, and this is the greatest value in life. Literally.
45. Protect yourself. Is always. At least not until you are married.
46. Don't have kids too early. But you don't have to drag it out too much either.
47. Love is important.
48. You are responsible for your own life.
49. Your family is always by your side. But you also need to be close to your family.
50. Life isn't about partying with friends, but having good friends makes it great.

Video from Yana Shchastya: interview with professor of psychology N.

Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn't be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.

• Education of a boy
• Parents and children
• Father
• Education of children
• Education, Training

Guest, 00:28 9000, I think that all this is bad. For me, this is the unbalanced egocentrism of the pope, and this will not lead to good.

1

reply

Guest, June 19, 2014, 10:48 pm

I don't know, but it seems to me that this is all right, and I will also try to raise my son in this spirit. Still would have prompted how to raise a daughter.

Aleksey T., September 10, 2014, 5:59 pm

Very interesting and necessary theses. January 22, 2015 to take care of someone else, and sometimes about yourself, when something is impossible, not because it is harmful or even deadly harmful, but so that "mom does not get upset", when it doesn’t matter what kind of relationship it really is, but it’s important what others see and what do they think about it. NOTHING to teach from this list is HARMFUL!!!! It's amazing that someone thinks so, I would add.

Maxim, August 14, 2015 4:28 pm

Point 7. Fighting is not good, but necessary. Strange category "good" and the same strange opposition; soft round. If it (the opposition) is fixed, there will be an internal conflict and reflection, IMHO. Necessary is, a priori, good.

Maxim, August 14, 2015, 4:33 pm

Request to the site admins: add the publication date to the articles (and comments).

1

answer

N. I. Kozlov, August 14, 2015, 8:30 pm

Maxim, you can do it. But - for what task? why? Should it be very visible - or somewhere shallow in the corner?

Antonina, November 08, 2015, 20:58

Big list... For some, even life is not enough to understand, to feel at least half of the list ... I would systematize it a little. I would break it down by topic. (Life, money, love, sex, etc.)

Guest, December 24, 2016, 07:41 PM

And my son at the age of 7 once asked me - why does a cat have a tail?

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