You will learn by the numbers

Full Metal Jacket

Full Metal Jacket
written by Gustav Hasford (also novel, "The Short Timers"), Michael Herr, & Stanley Kubrick

Hartman: I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your Senior Drill Instructor. From now on, you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be "Sir!" Do you maggots understand that?
Recruits: [in unison] Sir, yes, sir!
Hartman: Bullshit! I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair!
Recruits: [louder] Sir, yes, sir!
Hartman: If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training... you will be a weapon, you will be a minister of death, praying for war. But until that day you are pukes! You're the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings! You are nothing but unorganized grabasstic pieces of amphibian shit! Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard, but I am fair! There is no racial bigotry here! I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless! And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps! Do you maggots understand that?
Recruits: [in unison] Sir, yes, sir!
Hartman: Bullshit! I can't hear you!
Recruits: [louder] Sir, yes, sir!
Hartman: What's your name, scumbag?
Snowball (Peter Edmund): [shouting] Sir, Private Brown, sir!
Hartman: Bullshit! From now on you're Private Snowball! Do you like that name?
Snowball: [shouting] Sir, yes, sir!
Hartman: Well, there's one thing that you won't like, Private Snowball! They don't serve fried chicken and watermelon on a daily basis in my mess hall!
Snowball: Sir, yes, sir!
Joker (Matthew Modine): [whispering] Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?
Hartman: Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little Communist shit twinkle-toed cocksucker down here, who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh?! The fairy fucking godmother said it! Out-fucking-standing! I will P. T. you all until you fucking die! I'll P.T. you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk. Was it you, you scroungy little fuck, huh?!
Cowboy (Arliss Howard): Sir, no, sir!
Hartman: You little piece of shit! You look like a fucking worm! I'll bet it was you!
Cowboy: Sir, no, sir!
Joker: Sir, I said it, sir!
Hartman: Well ... no shit. What have we got here, a fucking comedian? Private Joker? I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister.
[Sergeant Hartman smashes Joker in the stomach, sending Joker to his knees.] Hartman: You little scumbag! I've got your name! I've got your ass! You will not laugh! You will not cry! You will learn by the numbers and I will teach you! Now get up! Get on your feet! You had best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck!
Joker: Sir, yes, sir!

Kudos and much thanks go to Nicholas for the donation of this monologue, it is very very much appreciated.

[ please return to the main movie monologue page ]

Adding tracking numbers to gift certificates and coupons

Gift certificates and promotional coupons can play an important role in your marketing strategy, draw new customers and repeat them for your business. But how do you know if they are really working to help you grow your business? To get the most out of your time and marketing budget, you need to track the success of your marketing activities to determine which marketing tactics are effective for your customers.

One of the easiest ways to track the success of marketing projects such as certificates and coupons is to add a tracking number or code to each certificate or coupon you distribute. When redeeming certificates or coupons, you can use these tracking numbers to record and categorize customer responses.

This article explains how to add tracking numbers to certificate or coupon packages created in Publisher.

Tracking approaches

There are several different approaches you can take when embedding tracking information in a publication. For example, you can do one of the following:

• Adding Unique Numbers to Gift Certificates Using the unique number of each gift certificate, you can track when gift certificates are redeemed, by whom, and for what product or service. Also, by adding unique tracking numbers, you can ensure that gift voucher certificates are not duplicated or redeemed more than once.

• Add specific codes to coupons to track customer responses Use different codes for different marketing messages, ads, or promotions. These codes allow you to track how customers found out about your offer. The more you learn about who your business entails and what to grab the attention of customers, the better you can focus on future marketing efforts.

Note: The same method can be used if serial numbers need to be added to admission and raffle tickets, invoices, and other types of publications.

Step 1: Create a data source that lists tracking numbers

To use mail merge to create a package of gift certificates or coupons with tracking numbers, you must set up a data source that contains a column listing tracking numbers. If you only plan to add tracking numbers to your posts, create a data source for tracking numbers. If you also plan to use mail merge to insert additional information into your publications, such as customer names or customer addresses, you can add a tracking number column to your data source that also lists the names and address information you want to use.

You can use Publisher, Excel, Access, or Outlook to create a data source for a merge project. However, if you want to create a large list of unique serial numbers to use as tracking codes for certificates or coupons, you can quickly create this list using Excel.

Using Excel to create a list of unique tracking numbers

1. In Excel, open a new or existing worksheet.

2. In the first cell of the column where you want to add tracking numbers, type a label like "Tracking number " and then press Enter to move to the row below.

3. In the second cell of the column, enter the number of the first tracking number in the row. For example, enter 1000 .

4. In the cell below, add 1 to the number entered in the cell above, and then enter that number. For example, enter 1001 .

   In this case, a template is created for the generated series of numbers.

5. Select the cells containing the initial values.

6. Drag the handle over the range of cells you want to fill.

7. After creating the desired number of tracking numbers, save the file.

Adding specific predefined tracking codes to the data source

If you have already developed a set of specific code numbers that you want to use to track and classify customer responses, you can enter those numbers in the data source column that you plan to use for the merge.

1. In Excel, open a new or existing worksheet.

2. Click the first cell in the column where you want to enter data.

3. Type a label, such as tracking code , and then press Enter to navigate to the line below.

4. Enter the tracking code and press Enter to go to the line below.

5. Repeat until you have rolled out all the tracking codes you plan to use.

   Note: To create multiple copies of a certificate or gift certificate voucher that share a specific tracking code, you can enter the same number multiple times in a column.

6. After generating the required number of tracking codes, save the file.

Step 2: Create a certificate or coupon using a publisher

You can create a gift certificate or coupon publication using Publisher by starting with a pre-designed gift certificate publication or by designing a gift certificate certificate from scratch.

• To select a pre-designed publication, select the Gift Certificate Certificates category to find the certificate template you want, and then open, design, and save a certificate based on that template.

• To create a certificate from scratch, you can start with a completely empty publication, or you can adapt an existing publication. Smaller post types such as business cards, postcards, and stickers can be adapted for use as coupons. Flyers or booklets can be adapted to be used as gift certificate certificates. For more information, see Create a Publication at a Publisher.

Step 3: Add tracking codes to a publication using mail merge

After you set up a list of tracking numbers in your data source and design a publication, you can combine the list of tracking numbers with the publication to create a package of certificates or coupons, each displaying a unique tracking number.

This particular merger project has four major phases:

1. Connect the gift certificate certificate or coupon publishing to the data source.

2. Insert a data field in your post as a placeholder for tracking number information.

3. Merge preview for layout refinement

4. Print a merged publication to create or print a package of certificates or coupons with tracking numbers from the data source.

Connecting a publication to a data source

1. Save and close the data source that contains the list of tracking numbers.

2. Open your publisher gift certificate or coupon publication.

3. On the Mailings tab, click the Mail Merge menu, and then select Mail Merge Step-by-Step Wizard.

4. In the area of ​​ tasks " Mail Merge" in the "Create a recipient list" section, select "Use an existing list" and click "Next: Create or connect to a recipient list" .

5. In the Select Data Source dialog box, locate the data source containing the tracking numbers , select the file, and click the Open button .

6. If the data source is an Excel sheet, select the required sheet from the list in the dialog box " Table selection".

7. In the Merge Recipients dialog box, you can select which tracking codes to include in the merge. Check the boxes next to the entries you want to include and uncheck the boxes next to the entries you want to exclude.

   If you want to use only certain items from the list, you can filter it by the desired field or condition. After filtering the list, you can use the checkboxes to include and exclude individual entries.

   Filtering items in a list

   1. Click the arrow next to the column heading of the item you want to filter on.

   2. Select one of the following:

      • (Empty) displays all records where the corresponding field is empty.

      • (Nonempty) displays all records where the corresponding field contains data.

      • (Optional) Opens the " Filter and Sort" dialog box, which can be used to filter using multiple criteria. You can also click Filter in the Refine Recipient List section of dialog box Merge recipients to open the dialog box Filter and sort .

        Tip: If your data source includes records that contain the same information, and there are no more than ten unique values ​​in a column, you can filter the records by specific data. For example, if there are multiple records that list Australia as the country or region, you can filter on Australia .

        The Merge Recipients dialog box only displays records that match the criteria. To display all entries again, press the (All) button

   Sorting items in a list

   1. In dialog box Merge Recipients Click the column heading of the item by which you want to sort the list.

   2. To quickly select or deselect all members, select or clear the column heading check box.

   3. To sort by multiple criteria, click " Sort" in the list Recipients Refinements in dialog box " Merge Recipients". In the Filter and Sort dialog box, select the criteria by which you want to sort.

8. Press button OK .