Bedtime stories for adults text
10 Bedtime Stories for Adults to Help You Get Some Serious Shut Eye
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I’ve never been blessed with the ability to fall asleep fast. I have to toss and turn and click around on my phone for an hour at least before I can even attempt to get some shut eye. It drives me up the wall sometimes when I have an early morning or a big meeting the next day and all I can do is lie there.
Bedtime stories as a kid always helped me shorten that empty time between when I got in bed and when I actually fell asleep. But, as I’ve moved into adulthood, the fairytales and fables have been replaced with social media and mindless scrolling. I know, I know, this so does not help my inability to sleep. It’s hard to turn it off sometimes and sit in silence instead.
Which got me wondering, are there bedtime stories for adults that could take the place of those from my childhood? There are apps, I know, that play white noise or block notification or limit your screen time. But I wanted that feeling of being a kid and reading a nice, gentle story before bed.
If you’re in the same boat I am, seeking that same feeling but a little more grown up, try one of these bedtime short stories for adults to see if you can get some sleep.
“Whitefoot” by Wendell Berry
“Whitefoot” focuses on the life of a mouse much in a similar vein of the many fables your parents read you as a kid. Whitefoot the mouse encounters some tribulations, obstacles from the large world around her, but (spoiler alert) she gets out unscathed, ready to keep at it. It’s long, gentle, and beautiful. You’ll have images of little Whitefoot’s journey with you as you fall asleep.
“Hills Like White Elephants” by Ernest Hemingway
I’m sure many of you have read “Hills Like White Elephants” at some point in your school career. Masked in metaphor and implications, the surface level of the story is simply a conversation between a couple while waiting for their train. Sure, there’s subtext if you want to dig into it. But, if you turn off your thinking brain and read the straightforward prose, you’ll be drifting off in no time.
“Ghosts and Empties” by Lauren Groff
Some of you may share a fondness for walking when you can’t sleep, much like the main character in “Ghosts and Empties.” She walks off her anger, her pent up feelings, through her neighborhood and the ones surrounding it. She ponders her neighbors, the people she sees, thinks about her home and her boys and her husband. If walking soothes you, this story will too.
“With the Beatles” by Haruki Murakami
“With the Beatles” traces a man’s discovery of The Beatles in his young adulthood through his life alongside his dating history. It has the feeling of remembering the first time you found your favorite band and how that love develops through your life, major events coinciding with new releases. You know that feeling when you play a song and remember where you were in life when you were obsessed with it? This story feels like that: nostalgic and comforting.
“The Book of Martha” by Octavia Butler
“The Book of Martha” is, at it’s core, about how to make a perfect world. Or, I guess, how difficult that is. God grants Martha the power to help humanity. But that proves much harder than she thought. In a careful exploration of belief, perfection, and humanity, “The Book of Martha” is sure to catch your attention without keeping you up too late. Plus, it’ll give you something to think through when you close your eyes, pushing those pesky daily worries out the window.
“Cousin Tribulation’s Story” by Louisa May Alcott
This short story set on New Year’s Day follows a family who sacrifice their meal to help their neighbors in need. It’s heartwarming and sure to restore your faith in humanity before you go to sleep. Plus, it’s only 800 words! You won’t be up late into the night to find out what happens, and you’re sure to have a smile on your face when you do.
“Bruce and the Spider” by James Baldwin
This quick, fable-like story follows a king as he watches a spider. The spider keeps failing to connect her web, and the king, also having failed in battle, sympathizes with her. But she keeps trying, and so he decides to take her cues and try again himself. It’s sure to inspire you in its simplicity and put you to sleep with it too.
“Instructions” by Neil Gaiman
This is more of a poem, and intended for a younger audience perhaps, but the rhythm is sure to lull you no matter your age. As the title implies, “Instructions” is a list of, well, instructions on how to leave home, how to interact with the world, and how to come back again. You’ll meet an imp, an old woman, a ferryman, an eagle, and ghosts in time. You’ll pick strawberries and return favors and grow up in your time away. This is one of those bedtime stories for adults and children alike.
“Kew Gardens” by Virginia Woolf
This short stories centers around the Kew Gardens in London on a summer day. Various pairs of people walk past the flowers, each lost in their own thoughts. A young couple, a pair of men, and an elderly couple meander through the narrative. A snail makes an appearance as it climbs a flower. The story is gentle and slow, making it perfect to help you drift off tonight.
“A Telephone Call” by Dorothy Parker
“A Telephone Call” is a sweet, light-hearted story of a woman waiting by the phone. That’s it. Much the same way we wait for that text or Snapchat now, the main character sits beside the telephone waiting for a man to call. The internal monologue and lack of much else won’t raise the blood pressure or keep you too engaged. You’ll sleep, maybe thinking of your own telephone call.
I hope these bedtime stories for adults helped you get some shut eye. If you’re still looking for something low-key or soothing, try these comforting books for hard times or these comforting comics, if those are more your speed. You can also be read to sleep with these soothing audiobooks to fall asleep to.
Best Bedtime Stories For Adults & Girlfriends (Complete Guide)
There’s no better feeling than climbing into bed after a demanding day, and closing your eyes for a restful night of sleep. In a perfect world, your mind will be at ease and you’ll softly drift off to sleep in 10-15 minutes—but sadly this isn’t usually the case. Five minutes of scrolling through Facebook turns into an hour of watching Friends blooper videos and even though they’re real entertaining, it’s a lot harder to fall asleep after you’ve had a device in your face stimulating your brain for so long. Reading or listening to bedtime stories before you go to sleep is a great way to reduce stress and relax your mind so you can effortlessly slip into a deep sleep like you used to when you were a kid.
Use the links below to skip ahead to the section or genre that interests you the most:
General Tips And Tricks For Telling A Good Bedtime Story
When you’re telling a story, whether you’re reading it from a book or making it up off the top of your head, keep these tips in mind to make sure your audience stays engaged and on the edge of their seats.
Keep it simple — You don’t want to get too crazy with an overload of characters and a complicated plot, unless you want to see your listener’s eyes glaze over. Set the stage, introduce a few solid characters, and keep the plot running on track.
Change your tone of voice — Nobody likes a monotone storyteller. Change the tone and speed of your voice to match the moments in your story. If something scary is about to happen, maybe slow down and lower the tone of your voice. If the scene is hectic, talk in a fast pace to set the mood and mirror how your characters feel. And always remember to be enthusiastic!
Pause for dramatic effect — This is a fool proof way to create suspense, and have your listener eagerly waiting to hear what comes next.
Facial expressions — Submerse yourself in the story, if the character is angry then scrunch your eyebrows and frown. If they’re happy, continue reading the story with a smile on your face.
Keep eye contact — No matter who you’re reading a bedtime story to, you’re the catalyst for the story they’re hearing. When you keep eye contact with your audience, it ensures all their focus stays on you and your story. Your listener will be so engaged they’ll be transported from their world, to the fictional universe you’re describing so well.
Now that you have the tools necessary to tell a good story, let’s get into our top rated list. We’ve gone ahead and included links to Amazon and other sites (highlighted in green) for your convenience.
Bedtime Stories To Impress Your Girlfriend
The Princess and the Pea by Kolanovic Dubravaka – Make your princess feel like the real deal before bed with this short fairy tale about a delicate princess who is put to the ultimate test by the parents of her prince. After she stumbles upon a handsome prince’s palace in the pouring rain and explains she is a royal in need of a place to stay, the Queen is hesitant to believe her. So what does the Queen do? Naturally, she places a pea between 20 mattresses for the princess to sleep on. If the young woman notices the pea, she is telling the truth. Your girlfriend will love this story because it’s quick and relatable. An innocent princess who has to prove herself to her boyfriend’s mother through unreasonable tests? Not too far fetched of an idea.
Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger – A Time Traveler’s Wife is a story about a man who was blessed with the ability to travel through—you guessed it… time, and he uses his gift to revisit the most important moments in his wife’s life before he was a part of it. Reading your lady love this story will allow her to open up and reflect on the most important experiences of her own life, and the best case scenario is that she’ll feel like you’re really interested in who she is as a person (we’re trying to get you extra brownie points here with this one).
Stories For Baby Boomers To Unwind With Before Bed
A Baby Boomer’s Bedtime Story: To The Moon and Back by Phila Vocia – If you were born between 1946 – 1964, then A Baby Boomer’s Bedtime Story by Phila Vocia was written especially with you in mind. You may laugh, you may cry, but you’ll definitely feel the nostalgia as Vocia remenices on the defining moments behind the Baby Boomer generation. So what could be a better bedtime story than a detailed recollection of some of your most joyful memories? We can’t think of many others to top it.
Wisdom at Work: The Making of a Modern Elder by Chip Conley – This story is about a 52-year-old who sold the company he ran for 24 years, and was quickly presented with the opportunity to help Airbnb expand into the international enterprise as we know it today. He fell short when it came to maneuvering the digital world as well as his young colleagues, but his veteran businessman skills and wisdom that only comes with age proves to prevail. This is a story about valuing your talents and repurposing them for today’s world, and we think you’ll really enjoy it.
A Selfie as Big as the Ritz by Lara Williams – Why are millennials always complaining all the time? Why are they so emotional? What the heck is a selfie? If you’ve asked yourself these questions and sometimes ponder the millennial psyche before you fall asleep at night, A Selfie as Big as the Ritz will give you some good insight on the new age struggles every millenial faces on the day to day. If anything, it will help you rest easy at night knowing you got the pleasure of living in a world for so long where the word “selfie” didn’t exist.
Bedtime Stories For Generation X
The Dirt: Confessions of the World’s Most Notorious Rock Band by Tommy Lee – Learn what it really means to party like a rockstar with Motley Crue’s tell-all tale about their experience as one of the world’s most famous rock bands. You’ll read stories you’ve never heard, and ones you can’t find in any interviews on YouTube. You’ll also see some unreleased photos that have never been published until now. If you grew up in the 80’s, The Dirt will be the perfect bedtime story to transport you back to the days of leg warmers, big hair, and mullets.
Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated Culture by Douglas by Douglas Coupland – In this story by Douglas Coupland, which made the term “Generation X” popular, a group of three youths quit the jobs they hate to get a deeper perspective on the meaning of life. Told from the perspective of 20 year olds, this novel sheds light on what the young people of the time had to say about society, when their voices were often silenced. Read Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated Culture before bed to explore themes of reflection, irony, and the search for a greater meaning; topics gen Xers know all too well.
Bedtime Stories Millennials Will Love
Calm the F*** Down by Sarah Knight – Calm the F*** Down is something every millennial who’s suffered from crippling anxiety (so probably around 99% of them) needs to hear. It seems like every day a new headline emerges from the internet blaming millennials for something arbitrary while those in charge won’t confront the real problems young people are faced with, like overwhelming student debt, a crumbling ecosystem, and a housing market they won’t be able to afford until they’re 45. Thanks to Sarah Knight’s Calm The F*** Down, millennials can learn to control their anxiety and stop to smell the flowers every once in a while (while they’re still here at least).
3 Billion Under 30: How Millennials Continue Redefining Success, Breaking Barriers, and Changing The World by Jared Kleinert – While your friends are binging on the newest Netflix shows before bed, you can get the ball rolling on your future multi-million dollar career by reading the 75 motivating stories inside 3 Billion Under 30. They’re written by some of the most successful millennials in the world, and who’s to say you can’t join them. Maybe the book will influence you to dream about your next business venture, who knows? All we know is that it’s top rated, and a great bedtime story for young professionals or anyone who wants to get an inside look at the mind of billionaires.
The Best Bedtime Stories For Generation Z
Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul: 101 Stories of Life, Love, and Learning by Jack Canfield – The classics from the Chicken Soup collection are the perfect books to read when you’re looking for answers, validation, or a touching story. In this book, teenagers can read stories they relate to without having to confide in any friends or family members. It’s always good to talk to loved ones in times of struggle, but it never hurts to get some alone time and turn to literature for a solution, as well. After reading lessons on friendship, love, and respecting yourself, go to bed feeling confident and excited about your future.
The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton – If you haven’t read this book because you weren’t assigned it in your middle school English class, or you were assigned it, but you just Sparknoted everything, it’s time to hop on Amazon or hit your nearest Barnes & Noble to pick up a copy. It’s a classic story about a 14-year-old greaser and the hardships he and his friends face in a world they don’t feel like they belong in. Not only is it an intense read, but you’ll never feel left out when someone says “Stay golden, Ponyboy” ever again.
You Are A Bad** Everyday by Jen Sincero – You’re young, vibrant, and driven with your whole life ahead of you, but you’re uncertain about your future. You might be college bound just finishing up with high school, or you may be about to enter the 9th grade. One thing’s for sure, your life is about to drastically change and everyday your anxiety intensifies. When you’re young, it’s hard not to fall off the wagon because you’re overwhelmed, and engage in some self-destructive behaviors. This book by Jen Sincero is filled with exercises, affirmations, and other tools to keep your spirits high and on the right path to reach your goals. Change is scary, but You Are A Bad*** Everyday can prepare you for whatever life decides to throw at you.
Romantic Bedtime Stories To Set The Mood
The Wedding Date by Jasmine Guillory – Have you ever day dreamed about getting stuck in an elevator with the man or woman of your dreams? Have you ever wanted to bring someone to an event you knew your ex was going to be at? In this novel, a groomsman named Drew brings Alexa, a woman he just met, to his ex’s wedding. As you could probably guess, the two end up falling in love after spending a short but fantastic time together, but the party is over and they both have to return to reality. Is this a recipe for disaster or the beginning of a whirlwind romance? If you’re a lover of romantic stories, you might want to think about giving this one a try.
See Me by Nicholas Sparks – At this point, Nicholas Sparks might be the king of romance novels so we might be committing blasphemy if we leave him off this list. See Me is a story is about a bad boy trying to better himself who meets a hardworking and successful Latina woman with a degree from Duke. For their love story to survive they have to overcome their prejudices and a few bumps in the road that arise from Maria’s past. If you loved The Last Song and Dear John, we think this one is another heartwarming Nicholas Sparks addition to your romantic bedtime story list.
Bedtime Stories For Rebel Girls And Women
Bad Girls Throughout History: 100 Remarkable Women Who Changed the World by Ann Shen – Their peers claimed they were bad girls, now we call them extraordinary women. Author Ann Shen tells the story of 100 strong women who overcame adversity when those around them continuously underestimated their strengths and talents, just because they each strayed from society’s expectations of what a woman should be. From warriors, women in science, pirates, activists, and spies, rebel girls everywhere can fall asleep with visions of the fearless women before them who fought for their right to be a savage.
Rad Girls Can: Stories of Bold, Brave, and Brilliant Young Women by Kate Schatz – Miriam Klein Stahl’s Rad Girls Can proves there is no age requirement to make a sizable impact on the world. This book tells the story of different young women who achieved awe-inspiring accomplishments before they were 20 years old, from Yusra Mardini, a Syrian refugee who became an olympic swimmer after she saved twenty people when their dinghy began to sink after their escape from Syria, to Barbara Rose Johns, who helped initiate the civil rights movement with her high school protest. Girls of all ages can aspire to achieve greatness through their own talents and prove to the world it’s okay to be a little rebellious sometimes.
Goodnight Stories for Rebel Girls – This book is filled cover to cover with one page stories about 100 spectacular women and their accomplishments, and it’s written in the style of a classic fairy tale. So replace your usual princess bedtime stories about a helpless girl waiting for a man to save her, with stories about independent women who definitely didn’t need any help from a man.
Quick Five Minute Stories To Read When You’re In A Rush
Bedtime Stories for Grown Ups by Cearuil Swords – After you tuck the little ones in and read them a bedtime story, you can climb into bed with your own mythical tale that’s a little more relatable than a damsel in distress waiting for her prince charming. Like the legend of a brave queen trying to buy a car at a dealership without falling victim to the powers of a sales pitch. These short stories make up a collection of perfect adult fairy tales that you can read before bed, and add a little magic to your bedtime routine.
100 Great Short Stories by James Daley – With James Daley’s 100 Great Short Stories, you can have a solid collection of short stories by some of America’s greatest authors including Edgar Allen Poe, Mark Twain, and Virginia Woolf. If you’re in the mood for something short, sweet, and classic before you catch some Z’s, then this book will give you a range of excellent options to choose from. It’s in chronological order starting with the earliest piece of writing, so you can travel through literary history in the order they were published.
Short 10 Minute Bedtime Stories To Doze Off To
One More Thing: Stories and Other Stories by B.J. Novak – If you hold the hit show The Office near and dear to your heart, you’ll probably get a kick out of B.J. Novak’s (Ryan from The Office) collection of fictional short stories that were supposedly workshopped at comedy clubs, and bookstores all over America. We love The Office reruns just as much as the next person, but sitting down and reading a book written by Michael Scott’s favorite intern will be a more relaxing activity before bed.
The Best American Short Stories 2018 by Roxane Gay – If you’re looking for a short story to get the gears turning in your brain so you can have a little something to think about before bed, The Best American Short Stories is a collection of important literary works with a powerful message in each narrative. Every night before you sleep, you can read a selection of material that was hand picked. The collection includes 120 stories, and is made up of different authors with diverse experiences. Some are funny, some are somber, but they’re all thought provoking and will give you a new perspective every time you read one.
Politically Correct Bedtime Stories
Politically Correct Bedtime Stories: Modern Tales For Our Life Times by James Finn Garner – Read all your favorite fairy tales over again, but with a progressive twist in James Finn Garner’s Politically Correct Bedtime Stories. From a feminist and health concious Little Red Riding Hood to a more militant version of The Three Little Pigs who save their land from invasive wolf hotel developers, you’ll be sure that the material you’re reading is going to be entertaining with its creative reworking of classic tales.
The Official Politically Correct Dictionary and Handbook by Henry Beard – If you see a man with no hair and find yourself wanting to call him bald, use the term “hair disadvantaged” instead. Instead of the word paper, the term “processed tree carcass” would be more appropriate. When you’re worried a word you’re about to use is going to hurt somebody’s feelings, don’t worry! You can always turn to Henry Beard’s cheeky Official Politically Correct Dictionary and Handbook to find a more acceptable way to speak. Every night you can read up on a few alternative PC phrases, and be ready the next time you need correct somebody when they say flowers instead of “botanical companions.”
Books To Read Before Bed That’ll Give You A Good Laugh
The Very Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes by Ian Allen – If you’re a dad in need of some new material or a frat dude who prides himself on his quality dad jokes, look no further. Every night before bed you can read up on these hilarious father-esque jokes to have loaded and ready to fire for the next day. Everyone will get a kick out of them, almost as much as you do.
Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris – Comedian, humorist, and best selling author David Sedaris is back with a national bestseller called Me Talk Pretty One Day. If a book by a professional joke teller isn’t enough proof for you to believe this book is a knee-slapper, the book is about his struggle to learn French. If you’ve ever tried to learn a different language you know how unnatural it sounds when you practice it for the first time, so it’s funny to laugh at other people’s sad attempts at mastering a tough language like French. If you don’t believe us, check out the 1,500 reviews on Amazon and see what those folks have to say.
Scary Bedtime Stories To Spook You Before Your Slumber
Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark: 3-Book Collection by Alvin Schwartz – The skeleton-like face on the cover of Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark may incite feelings of fear, nostalgia, or an eerie combination of both. You might remember this series when you were a kid, but we still think it’s maintained its scare factor all these years later. It may not be quite as scary as you remember, but it’s definitely a creepy way to put yourself to sleep. Even the illustrations alone are enough to make the hairs on your arms stand up.
Short Horror Stories: Supernatural Tales That Are Scarier Than The Dead by Mildred Walker – There’s something about old ghost stories that make them that much more chilling, and that’s exactly what Mildred T. Walker delivers in Short Horror Stories: Supernatural Tales That Are Scarier Than The Dead. It includes work from icons like Edgar Allan Poe, Ray Bradbury, and W.W. Jacob who has dabbled once or twice in the horror genre, and know how to write a bloodcurdling story.
Soothing Bedtime Stories To Gently Put You To Sleep
A Sloth’s Guide to Mindfulness by Ton Mak – Meditating before bed has been proven to alleviate stress and improve your overall sleep, so reading books based on meditation when you’re getting ready to hit-the-hay would be a great way to end your night. In A Sloth’s Guide to Mindfulness by Ton Mak, you can follow the direction of the happiest sloth you’ve ever seen as he walks you through his method of easing the mind. Not only is it adorable, but it is a great way to end your night on a soothing and positive note.
Bedtime Stories for Stressed Out Adults – It can make it that much harder to fall asleep at night when you’re stressed out because your body switches from an active state to the calmer parasympathetic nervous system. If your mind is racing when you’re trying to go to sleep, it interrupts the transition and your mind remains hyperactive instead of shutting down. In this anthology, you can find peaceful and relaxing passages to guide your mind into the ideal state of relaxation.
Bedtime Stories Your Dog Will Wag His Tail To
Three Stories You Can Read to Your Dog by Sara Swan Miller – If you want to spend some soothing quality time with your pup when you’re about to put him to sleep, Sara Swan Miller’s Three Stories You Can Read to Your Dog is the perfect way to incorporate them into story time. Watch their eyes light up as you tell the story from their perspective, in scenarios they’ll know all too well, like barking at strangers coming up to your home. Make your dog feel ultra special by reading him these bedtime stories and he’ll continue to return the favor every single day.
Good Friends: An Avery Barks Dog Mystery by Mary Hiker – Bring out the investigative side of your furry friend with Mary Hiker’s story about Avery Bark and a few of his puppy pals who work together to solve a mysterious murder (You’ll get bonus points with your pooch if you actually bark every time you read Avery’s last name.) It’s book five out of a 10 book series, and a great selection to kick start you and your dog’s binge reading. Maybe he’ll learn how to be a detective, and he can figure out who went through the garbage after steak taco night since he swears it wasn’t him.
Supernatural Stories To Make You Sleep With The Lights On
Come Closer by Sara Gran – Amanda is a young working woman who starts to notice strange occurrences happening to her and her loved ones, like her unsettling dreams and how she unknowingly burned her husband with a cigarette. She comes to believe she is possessed by an evil demon and has to fight to gain back control of her life. If you’re looking for a bedtime story that plays with the idea of other worldly spirits, evil entities, and possession, this might be a good one to sneak under the covers with.
Roald Dahl’s Book of Ghost Stories by Ronald Dahl – Imagine a man who’s obsessed with the art of scary story telling going to a library to read over 500 supernatural stories. Now let’s say he picked 14 of the most bone-chilling tales out of the hundreds that he read to combine into one spooky collection of stories. If you haven’t guessed, the guy we’re talking about is Roald Dahl and that’s exactly what his Book of Ghost Stories is. So if you’re looking for a carefully selected group of works to confront you with the uncanny, we think this is a good choice for you.
Sexual & Erotic Stories To Spice Up Your Bedtime Routine
Naughty Bedtime Stories by Joan Elizabeth Lloyd – If you’re looking for something a little sexier to read when you’re in between the sheets (literally, we think it might be a little difficult to get busy while you’re reading), then Joan Elizabeth Lloyd’s Naughty Bedtime Stories is a good book that’s sure to bring on the heat. Explore different fantasies and sensual situations, like the one about a psychic who meets a dirty minded woman. We’d say more, but we think you know what ended up happening.
Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James – For anyone who hasn’t read this book yet, you should know that there’s a reason why it became such a huge hit — it’s pretty hot. Even if you’ve seen the movie, the scenes in the book are much steamier than what the Hollywood producers allowed on the big screen. If you’re looking for a novel to get your heart rate up before you go to bed, reading the gritty details of Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele in the red room will probably do it for you.
Guarding His Obsession by Alexa Riley – If you want to read an Amazon best seller and can’t stand one more person mentioning 50 Shades of Grey again, this should be a title that tickles your fancy. In Guarding His Obsession, a socially awkward girl named Zoey hires a security team to find a crazy stalker who she feels threatened by. Who’s the man hired to do the job? A quiet but hunky security guard who develops a soft spot for Zoey. So what happens when you put a super hot protective male with a cute but quirky damsel in distress? We’ll let you leave it to your imagination, or you can find out for yourself in the novel.
Don’t forget to check out our Best Mattress For Sex List if you really want to get the best experience before bed.
16 short FAIRY TALES FOR ADULTS that make me burn! (18+)
1. A joint French-Russian fairy tale about patriotism
Papa Dubois had three sons: the elder Jacques, the middle Jules and the younger Jean the Fool.
It's time for them to get married. They went out to the Champs Elysees and began to shoot in different directions. Jacques hit the deputy of the National Assembly, but he was already married.
Jules got into the cure, but religion does not allow him to marry.
And Jean the Fool hit a frog, and in fact he didn't hit that one, but missed. The frog tried to explain to him in Russian that she was really a princess, and turned into a frog so as not to stand for a visa at the embassy, but Jean was a Frenchman and did not understand Russian. He cooked a frog according to an old recipe and became a chef in a Parisian restaurant.
Moral: girls, sit in your native swamp and don't croak. There is nothing for you to do on the Champs Elysees. And we have enough fools at home.
2. Sister Alyonushka and brother Ivanushka
Once upon a time there was a sister Alyonushka and brother Ivanushka. Alyonushka was smart and hardworking, and Ivanushka was an alcoholic. How many times did his sister tell him: “Don’t drink, Ivanushka, you will become a goat!” But Ivanushka did not listen and drank. Once he bought some singed vodka in a stall, drank it and felt that he could no longer stand on two legs, he had to lower himself by four points. And just then the shameful wolves come up to him and say: “Well, the goat, did you drink it?”. And so they hit him on the horns that he threw back his hooves ...
And his sister Alyonushka got his apartment, because good always triumphs over evil!
3. Arabic folk tale "Ilyich and Aladdin"
In a certain sultanate, in a certain emirate, Aladdin lived. Once he found an old lamp in a landfill and decided to clean it. As soon as he began to rub, a genie came out of the lamp, and let's fulfill wishes. Well, Aladdin himself, of course, ordered the palace
, to marry the princess, the magic carpet is the six hundredth and all. In short, since then, all Aladdin's problems have become a light bulb. Just a little - rub it and dictate the conditions to the genie. And then one day he went on a cruise, and left his wife at home. And then a man walks down the street and shouts - "I am changing old lamps for new ones!"
Well, the wife was delighted and changed Aladdin's lamp for Ilyich's lamp. And how much later Aladdin did not rub this light bulb, Ilyich did not get out of there and did not fulfill his desire. This is how technological progress defeated the backward Asian superstitions.
4. About the tail
Once a fox stole a whole load of fish from a peasant. Sits and eats. And a hungry wolf comes out of the forest. “Fox, give me fish!” “Go and catch it yourself,” the fox replies. "But as? I don’t even have a fishing rod,” says the wolf. “I don’t have one either,” said the fox, “but I threw my tail into the hole, so I caught it.” "Thanks for the idea!" - the wolf was delighted, tore off the tail of the fox and went fishing.
5. Seaside folk tale about the Old Man and the Golden Fish
There lived an old man with his old woman near the blue sea. The old man threw a seine into the sea, a seine came, and there - a pike. "What the heck? the old man was surprised. — Like a goldfish should be. I'm not Emelya, after all. “That's right,” the pike replied. - We worked with the goldfish for a long time in one sector of the market.
And just recently, the board of directors reached an agreement on the takeover of one enterprise by another.” And the pike burped satedly.
6. A folk tale near Moscow about the wrong personnel policy
Once upon a time there was a pop - a thick forehead. He had his own business, his own clientele, and there was only one assistant, and even that one was a bullshit. But nothing, the pop coped. Moreover, the assistant worked for a long time literally for this - well, bullshit, what do you say. However, even
and the bulldozer ran out of patience. “Master,” he says, “when are you going to pay?”
And the priest answers him: "Go to hell!". Well, the bastard went. And he sold all the trade secrets of the priest to the devil. The devil then enticed all the clients from the priest, and he went bankrupt. And serve him right. Because the staff should be paid on time, not wait,
while they flick you in the forehead.
7. Petersburg folk tale about a smart old woman
A soldier was walking home from service. He knocked on the way to a house. “Let me in,” he says, “to spend the night, masters.” And in the house lived a greedy old woman. “Spend the night, sleep,” she said, “only I have nothing to treat you with.” “It doesn’t matter,” the soldier replied, “just give me an ax, and I’ll cook porridge out of it.” “What are you, a soldier,” the old woman was indignant, “do you think I’m completely stupid? What am I going to chop wood with later? So the soldier remained without salty slurping. By the way, his name was Rodion Raskolnikov.
8. A man and a bear. Moldovan folk tale.
Somehow a man decided to organize a joint venture with a bear. "What we are going to do?" the bear asks. “This year - to grow wheat,” the man replies. "How to share?" "It is known how: my tops, your roots." "He's coming," the bear agreed. They grew wheat, the peasant took all the tops for himself, sold, sits and rejoices, counts money ... And then a bear came and brought his roots ...
9. Moscow folk tale about money and whistling
Somehow the Nightingale the Robber wanted to get gold and silver. He went to Koshchei the Deathless to offer security services. Koschei got angry, unleashed an unclean force on him - the Nightingale left a little alive. Then he went to the Serpent Gorynych to demand a ransom
. The Serpent was angry, blazed with fire - the Nightingale barely took his legs. He goes sad, he sees - towards Baba Yaga. He thought at least to get money from her, but Yaga departed with a bone leg so that the white light became not nice to the Nightingale. Then he wept bitterly, and Yaga took pity on him.
“Go,” she said, “to the road, and bury yourself there in the green bushes. When you see a person passing by - whistle with all your might, he will give you money.
The Nightingale listened to the advice of the wise, but since then he has not known the need. That's how traffic cops started up in Rus'.
10. Medical folk tale about Koshchei and a healthy lifestyle.
Ivan Tsarevich married a stupid frog… no, not like that. Ivan the Fool married the frog princess, and she ran away from him with Koshchei. Ivan was offended and decided to kill Koshchei. How long, how short Ivan walked around the world - he came to Baba Yaga.
- Where are you going, good fellow? Yaga asks.
- Well, grandmother, you didn’t get drunk - you didn’t feed, but you ask? Ivan says.
“You are a fool, you are a fool,” replies Yaga. How can I feed you if you haven't washed your hands?
Ivan washed his hands, told Yaga about his misfortune. And Yaga answered him:
- The death of Koshcheev is in the needle, the needle is in the egg, the egg is in the duck, and the duck in hospital number 8 is under the bed.
Ivan went to hospital #8, found a duck, broke an egg and put Koshchei on a needle. This is where Koshchei ends. Drug addiction, it does not bring anyone to good.
11. Spanish folk tale about the sleeping beauty.
Once upon a time there was a king and a queen, and they had a daughter. And they arranged a ball, and invited everyone there, except for the most harmful fairy, because they knew that she would come anyway. The most harmful fairy came and said: “Are you happy? Oh well. But when the
princess turns 18, she will become a drug addict and inject herself with such a dose that she will pass out and not come to her senses. The princess turned 18 years old, she became a drug addict, injected herself and did not come to her senses. And the king and queen, courtiers
and the servants took a sedative out of grief and also passed out. And gradually all the roads to the castle were overgrown with a dense forest. A hundred years later, a handsome prince rode past and asked what kind of reserve it was. The good people told him the whole story and added that only then would the princess come out of the blackout when the handsome prince kissed her. The prince bravely rode through the dense forest, entered the castle, took the key to the treasury from the king's neck, loaded all the gold and diamonds on his horse and rode back. And he didn't kiss the princess, no. In fact, why does he need a drug addict?
12. Marriage-frog
In a certain kingdom, in a certain state, a father had three sons - two stupid ones, and the third was none at all. The father decided to marry them. He took me out into the yard and ordered to shoot whoever hit where. The first son fired and hit the air. The second shot -
hit the police. The third shot - hit the headstock. Father spat in his hearts, gave each a frog and went to sleep. And what kind of frog gender, and did not check ... In general, it turned out badly.
13. Danish folk tale about a little mermaid
Once upon a time there was a little mermaid somewhere in the outback. And she wanted to be a pop star. She went to the witch.
“That can be arranged,” the witch says, “only you give me your vote.”
- No problem, - the little mermaid answers, - why do I need it? You, most importantly, make your legs longer.
— Okay, — the witch agreed, — just keep in mind, if you don’t spin, you will become sea foam.
And what do you think, did it become foam? No matter how! For a month now, he has been holding the top lines in the charts. And this is no longer a fairy tale, but the harsh truth of life ...
14. Administrative folk tale about a traveling frog
Once upon a time there was a frog. She lived in her swamp and saw nothing but mud. And her duck neighbors traveled abroad every year. Well, the frog, of course, also wanted to, so she persuaded the ducks to take her with them. She clung to the twig with her mouth
, and the ducks picked it up with their beaks and flew away. And from below, the heron looks and is surprised: “Wow, what clever ducks! Such a method of transportation was invented!
“These are not ducks, I am smart!” the frog screamed and fell back into the swamp. Then the heron ate it. Moral: we, of course, have freedom of speech, but if you want to fly high, keep your mouth shut. And they won't eat it.
15. Administrative folk tale "Winnie the Pooh and all-all-all"
Somehow they appointed Winnie the Pooh in the forest to manage the household. He took Eeyore and Piglet as his deputies. And he put Rabbit to work, because he is the smartest.
But no matter how hard the Rabbit tried, under the leadership of Winnie the Pooh, the economy still fell apart. They began looking for the culprit. Went to Winnie the Pooh. He says, “What about me? Look what deputies I have - one donkey, the other a pig!
They come to Eeyore and Piglet. They say, “What are we? Look at our boss - he has sawdust in his head!” In general, in the end, the Rabbit was given in the ears. And everyone else was given a hat. From rabbit fur. Another
play was written about this, “Woe from Wit” is called.
16. Untitled
There lived a king with his queen near the blue sea. They lived and lived, but they had no children. And the king says to the queen:
- Bake me, queen, a bun!
- Completely fucked up, or what? the queen answers. — What am I to you, cook?
- Oh, you, - the king was offended, - but I took you as a simple Cinderella, shod and dressed you, brought you into people ...
And the fairy tale does not end here at all. Their fairy tale ended on the second day after the wedding... Ostrovok
Anton Chekhov
In the 5th century, as now, the sun rose every morning and went to bed every evening. In the morning, when the first rays kissed the dew, the earth came to life, the air was filled...
Read completely ”“ Without a title ”
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Published Anton of the Czech Committee Classic, prose, fairy tale stories, fairy tales for adults to comment on the record without titleAlexander Kuprin
Eastern legend
Wind. Maybe we'll have to spend the night at sea tonight. Thirty miles to the coast. A two-masted felucca sways lazily from the side...
Read more » “Demir-Kaya”
Views: 10566
Posted on Author Alexander KuprinCategories Classics, Prose, TalesTags fairy tales for adults, legendsLeave a comment on Demir-KayaAlexander Kuprin
This happened in those distant times, which long ago became a myth for us.
In the bedroom of the little royal son, through the narrow window not shuttered...
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Published on Author Alexander KuprinCategories Classics, Prose, Tales, Tales about love Adults3 Comments on Forgotten KissAlexander Kuprin
(accommodated by children for parents)
I
About the Duma
Once there was a holiday. Noble children played in the sand. And everything went well for them, and they themselves were so smart, and suits ...
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Published Humor, TalesTags fairy tales for adultsLeave a comment on TalesAlexander Pushkin
(COMPLETE TALE)
For three days the merchant's daughter
Natasha disappeared;
She ran into the yard on the third night
She ran in without memory.
with questions ...
Read the fullest "" Groom "
Views: 16475
Published Aleksandr Pushkinrubarrika Classic, poetry for adults, coughing? the painter Kranz politely asked the poet Pelikanov.“Yes,” the pale poet sighed. “Besides, I have a runny nose.
— Where did you get him?
— On...
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Published by Author Arkady AverchenkoCategories Classics, Prose, HumorTags humorous stories, fairy tales for adults Alexander Skazka 9035 9015One great king ordered that the poets and sages of his country be brought to him. And he asked them:
— What is happiness? "Happiness" for adults1 Comment on Happiness
Anton Chekhov
(Fairy Tale)
In the forest, on the banks of the river, which is guarded day and night by high reeds, one fine morning, a young, handsome goblin stood. Near him on the grass...
Read the full ”“ Naive goblin ”
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Published Anton of the Czech Command Classics, Prose, Humor, Fairy Tales for adults, Mikhail Saltykov-Schemravi 9000 2 Once upon a time there was a piskar. Both his father and mother were smart; Little by little, little by little, Arid's eyelids 1 lived in the river and did not get into the ear or the pike in Hailo. And they ordered the same for my son ....Read more » “The wise scribbler”
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Published Author Mikhail Saltykov-Shchedrin-RRUSTRICS Classic, prose, fairy tale satire, fairy tales for adults, put. The gentlemen ate jelly, said thank you, and the kids licked their fingers.