Boy morning routine
5 Steps to a Positive Morning Routine for Kids – Big Life Journal
A good day starts with a good beginning, but once the school year begins, rushed and frantic mornings are often the norm.
Out of necessity, most of us are focused on meeting our child’s physical needs in the morning; making sure they eat a good breakfast, finds that library book and even get their shoes on are no small tasks!
But what if we can prepare our kids for the day mentally and emotionally, too?
With a little planning, it is possible to create a drastically different kind of morning. One that encompasses your child’s physical AND emotional needs and provides a happy, peaceful start.
Practicing these 5 effective strategies will help your family to not only have a better morning but also develop and strengthen a growth mindset.
1. ReconnectAccording to Child Development and Behavior Specialist Betsy Brown Braun, night represents separation for children. Says Braun, “I look at morning as the oasis after the drought.”
Small wonder kids want to play and interact with us as we try desperately (and with increasing frustration) to tick through our own agenda.
Some simple ideas for reconnecting:
- Spend 5 minutes snuggling
- Hold hands while walking downstairs
- Share a few deep breaths together
- Choose a card from a yoga deck and do a pose or two
- Write with your journal buddy in your Big Life Journal or do a page from the Gratitude Challenge in our Challenges Kit
- Listen to the Big Life Kids podcast together during breakfast or on the way to school and talk about favorite parts or what you learned.
Kids will be much more willing to listen and follow your morning directives if you’ve connected with them first. Time spent reestablishing your bond after a long night can make the morning run smoothly.
“Once we connect with a child, compliance follows.”
Kirk Martin, behavior consultant
Consider identifying your child’s love language to deepen that connection. If your son appreciates physical touch, snuggling or hugging are ideal morning activities.
Other children respond to acts of service, so bringing them a drink of water or a bowl of cereal will make them feel loved and appreciated.
Tip: To make time for connection, getting up a bit earlier than your kids is key. Give yourself the chance to fully wake up, get caffeinated, or take a few breaths in silence. Then, once the kids are awake, the focus can shift to being present and connected with them. You’ll be less stressed, which they will notice and may even mirror your calm behavior.
2. Create a RoutineWhen my babies were little, our pediatrician suggested creating a structured, healthy evening routine to help settle and prepare them for sleep. The same can be done for older children in the morning, to transition from rest to the busy day ahead.
One way to establish a routine is by making a “launchpad” in your home. Simply choose an area where kids get organized for the day--an entryway, foyer, or anywhere close to the door would work well. There, you can create a space housing the visuals and supplies that keep them on track.
Successful launch pads may include:
- Hooks or small table for backpacks
- Bins for organizing folders or homework
- Morning routine checklist
- Affirmations jar
While all these suggestions can make things run more smoothly, it is the morning routine checklist that provides kids with a higher level of independence and autonomy.
Instead of relying on YOUR verbal reminders of what needs to happen next, the checklist allows kids to take ownership of their responsibilities and assert some much-needed control.
Tip: Once you’ve selected a morning routine, be sure to review each step together in detail before starting.
Discuss and consider each item to see where issues might arise, or if the steps need to be put in a different order. For younger kids, use pictures instead of words.
To harness the power of positive thinking, use a morning affirmation as part of your family’s schedule. Science has shown speaking positively about ourselves aloud can actually change our brains and even improve the way we see our future unfolding.
As a parent and proponent of daily affirmations, writer Amy Miller describes the “magic formula” for creating one. To be effective, an affirmation requires three key elements:
- Language - Begin each phrase with strong, positive words. (Examples: “I am kind. “I am going to rock this day.” “I create happiness for myself”)
- Visualization - Spend several moments picturing details of the emotion or situation you’re affirming. This step connects your words to the positive feelings surrounding them.
- Implementation - Believe in your statement. If the affirmation feels false, know the more you practice, the more real it becomes.
Affirmations provide the opportunity to strengthen a growth mindset, especially during challenging moments. Simply write or copy a few of your family’s favorites and place them in a jar near the launch pad for easy access in the morning!
Tip: If you’re crunched for time, incorporate affirmations into other tasks, such as while brushing hair or driving to school. Or read your Family Manifesto instead. At night, discuss the opportunities you had to apply your affirmations or manifesto during the day.
4. Set the Stage
Consider your home as the staging area for a good day. Many elements can help create a positive tone, from the sounds of calming music to the smell of muffins baking in the oven (even if it’s just a scented candle).
Engaging your child’s five senses is a simple and impactful way to create positive associations with the morning routine.
Some ideas include:
Touch: hug, snuggle or hold hands
Sight: make eye contact, read affirmations
Sound: play soft instrumental music
Smell: light candles or incense or spray essential oils
Taste: a mindful sip of water, eat healthy breakfast together
Tip: Create a music playlist together, and use it as a timer. Kids can learn to recognize the change in songs as their reminder to move to the next task: “Once ‘Try Everything’ starts, you should be getting on your shoes.”
Check out the Big Life Journal Spotify playlist for uplifting, encouraging, and positive songs!
5. Practice and RehearseAs with learning any new behavior, practice when the pressure is off. Young kids can play out the morning routine on weekends using stuffed animals or finger puppets.
Older kids can share their perception of morning rituals, as well as what parts are going well and what could be improved.
Discuss when (and if) breakdowns occur in order to better plan for the days ahead.
Choose a relaxing time to encourage your child to make a morning goal, one that is meaningful to him or her. Ask, “What would you like to learn how to do in the morning?”
Possible suggestions:
- Making her own breakfast
- Writing or selecting the daily affirmations for the week
- Getting himself dressed
- Creating a positive playlist
- Being the morning leader who gets everyone up and moving
As you practice the new routine, remember to pause and notice your family’s efforts in overcoming their early morning hurdles. Praise your children for their hard work at facing challenges and setbacks. And don’t forget to praise yourself too!
RECAPWith a little effort, the hectic, frazzled mornings most of us experience can develop into a calm and positive start. Through strategies like reconnecting, establishing (and practicing) a morning routine, and reading daily affirmations, children become prepared both mentally and physically for the day ahead, Finally, recognize each morning provides a new opportunity to establish a positive, growth-centered trajectory for our (and their) whole day.
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(c photo) (with photo)
I have wonderful, funny, active children. They get up early and do a lot in the morning. So many that they may not have time to get dressed or brush their teeth on time.
We began to deal with Talechka's routines only during the preparation for Nata's birth - at the age of 6, until then there was no need for this. I felt like it would be much more interesting with two.
Therefore, remembering the experience with Talya, I try to accustom Natya to routines as early as possible. Even on weekends. Let's start with this.
Nothing, of course. As long as it's small. In the end, I will catch a little miracle at some point and change clothes - as soon as I need it.
But you should have seen the astonished glances of the neighbors at the unwashed and shaggy Talya in pajamas who ran out into the entrance at eleven in the morning!
- Did you just get up?
-No, I got up at 6!
For non-Israelis, people run out into the entrance, in what they have, because of the air raid warning.
But not even during an alarm, and not even for the neighbors - an unwashed and shaggy ten-year-old miracle in pajamas at 2 o'clock in the afternoon - this is already a less pleasant sight. You can’t catch him anymore and you can’t change clothes when you want.
- Talya, wash your face, comb your hair! Suddenly there will be a siren again!
-Well, now, now... (after lunch).
Fortunately, in our country such events - both sirens and everything else - do not happen very often. But it could, it could. I have made great efforts to stop the process started in childhood.
The force of habit is a terrible force. You are used to going outside with a watch on your hand, and you will be naked without a watch. Uncomfortable. They are accustomed to washing themselves in the morning, and the unwashed is uncomfortable, disgusting. What if you're not used to it? There is no this interfering physical inconvenience, and most importantly, not the slightest idea that a "stale" person may be unpleasant to others.
What's the hurry then?
What if no one sees?
I confess that Vitalka and I are to blame. Being 17 years old in your own apartment, where no one sees you for days, is too tempting a reason to lie in bed all day with a book and a bag of sweets. I couldn't resist.
And only a few years later I realized what "disorganization" is and what consequences it leads to. It turns out that coarsening of the personality is not only the result of depression. The coarsening of the personality is what you see in films, when something happens to someone, he is depressed, and you are shown an apartment littered with scraps and garbage and an unwashed person in a bathrobe staring blankly at the TV. So, in the opposite direction, this also works ...
Don't think I've come to this. I just saw the trend. At the beginning. And I decided that pofigizm is wrong. And she began to grow perfectionism in herself, for therapeutic purposes.
At some point, habits change, and you begin to get real pleasure from everything that is aesthetically and culturally beautiful.
Fortunately, you quickly get used to the good.
Who remembers Kozlov? I adored him as a child. It's all his fault. He asked the question: if you have cold potatoes and hot soup, will you first burn yourself, and then eat cold, just because it’s supposed to be? First the first and then the second? Isn't it more logical to throw potatoes in soup?
More logical, at the age of 11 it was obvious to me. And only 15 years later, I began to think that for some reason, clean restaurants with white tablecloths give me more pleasure than dirty fast food restaurants with disposable tableware. And it's not all about the food.
My husband and I consulted, and decided that Kozlov was wrong.
And at the same time, a lot of problems were solved. Remember therapeutic goals? Now I don’t suffer from the fact that it’s inconvenient for me to wash the dishes, or play a puzzle with Natya, because the wide sleeves of my dressing gown interfere with me. It turns out that the fly lady was not just talking about shoes.
In slippers you walk more slowly, otherwise they will fly off. Clothes, washing, composure still make you more collected and organized.
Children
We are used to the fact that children, even unwashed ones, still look nice and smell delicious. And so we think that it does not concern them.
But now I no longer hear the request to "take out the trash", "run to a neighbor" and similar "I can't, I'm in my pajamas".
On the contrary, now it sounds like this - "No milk? Mom, let me run to the makolet, I'm already dressed, this is a minute!"
Thank you flylady.
How to clean in pajamas? Don't want to get dirty. And to climb under the table, because you dropped something, you won’t be in pajamas either, then you’ll sleep in it ... And in general, it’s most convenient to wallow in front of the TV in it. And when you are "tight and dressed", somehow things are done by themselves.
Do not get distracted between activities.
As soon as Tale leaves the bedroom, there are a lot of distractions that prevent her from returning there, to take her pajamas back to their place, to make the bed.
No, it will only turn out to run for a bag when there is no time to do anything else - otherwise it will be late for school.
It is natural for a child to first run to the living room, to mom, to people, so I did not try to change it. I just reminded about the clock and about the list of actions that Talya still had to complete. Get dressed, take a bag...
But our Talya is a gulyon. And sometimes she is not too lazy to come to school half an hour earlier to take a walk with her friend in the school yard. Or just run to the nearest bakery for burekas if she was tired of sandwiches. Oh, still closed, only opens at 7?
So it turned out that when Tale wants to take a walk, and she is in a hurry to go out into the street as quickly as possible, she appears in front of me ... already ready. Dressed, washed, combed, with a bag on his shoulder. That is, she gets dressed in the room, then she washes in the bathroom, and all this without appearing for a second in the salon. Quietly, imperceptibly.
.. quickly.
Recently, she spent the night with a friend, they fell asleep after midnight, and they were hardly woken up at half past seven. Talya told me with amazement - Mom, can you imagine, we just got up, made our beds, got dressed, washed ourselves, quickly ate scrambled eggs, brushed our teeth, combed our hair, and went! And it all took only 15 minutes!
I was also amazed - I thought she knew that all people, in fact, usually do this. And it’s not at all necessary to play in the morning with a brother, a phone, and have long conversations with mom about what a girlfriend said yesterday.
In general, now Talya decided to do just that. Get up, get dressed, fold your pajamas, make your bed, take your bag out of the room, wash your face, comb your hair, and then just go out for a quick breakfast, already with a bag, and immediately go to school. After all, then you can walk at least every day, and at the same time take Natik with us to the kindergarten! It's just a holiday, not life! And before class even starts! It will brighten up the morning.
That's my funny and wonderful Talya.
Catch a tremp on Tal.
Natik turned three and moved to Talya's room. At first it did not cause me any associations.
But we had to get rid of the closet to put in his crib. Remember "collar" Taffy? We stuffed some of the things into our closet, allocating a shelf for each child, and moved everything that could be hung on hangers to a niche in the children's room, screwing a stick in it - now this is their main closet. But in order to put as many things as possible there, I had to hang on hangers even those things that we used to stack in a pile, for example, school T-shirts.
- "Nothing," I said to Tala. "It's even more convenient. You don't like to fold things out of the wash, but now you've hung them up, and that's it. And it's easier to find and get it."
- "Yes," Talya was delighted, "where will my school pants be? Can I hang them too?"
-"No", I started to say, and then I realized - "well, of course, on the bottom bar of the hanger! And you will have a ready-made suit for every morning!"
- "Hurrah!" said Talya.
"I've been dreaming about this all my life! Just get it and that's it, and you don't need to look for anything!"
That's when it dawned on me.
- "Talya" - I said, "you are a genius. It's called capsules. You can put rubber bands, chains, bracelets on the hook of a hanger, and even insert socks into an elastic band - and you will have a complete set. You always want to find a suitable bracelet , but there is always no time to climb into the box, choose. And if you take it out only once on Shabbat, and immediately hang suitable decorations and rubber bands on all hangers, it will take 5 minutes, but it will solve all your problems."
Talya was very pleased. We even ran to buy T-shirts, although there was still a month before school, so we wanted to do it.
Here is the result:
Inside of the tee. Here in the process of compiling:
And then I thought that if anyone needs such capsules, then this is not Tale, but Nate.
He is 3 years old, and only in this way will he be able to take clothes himself and carry them to us so that we can help him get dressed.
Why dress yourself at the age of three?
Then, to establish the above habits. Do not just run around the house until mom catches it, but consciously, intentionally start the process of picking up for kindergarten. Not only because it's easier, faster, and more productive for me. Though that's reason enough, of course.
But also because in this way the child develops very important qualities that he will need in the future - "tifkudey nikhul", and let someone help me translate this into Russian. In English for non-Israelis, this is "executive functions". That is, simply the ability to function correctly, optimally. Here's from Wikipedia, she knows how to formulate better than me:0221 [1] including working memory, reasoning, task flexibility, and problem solving [2] as well as planning, and execution. [3]
These skills are especially important to develop in "special" children, because these functions can be impaired in them.
For example, an autistic child may be disconnected from reality, from what is happening around him, and a clear list of actions that he must perform can help him focus on the outside world, connect to it. But after all, it wouldn’t hurt an ordinary child to be able to focus on what is happening and understand what his next step should be? Not to just hang out in space, but to be aware of what is happening and what needs to be done?
In addition, rituals strengthen the child's confidence in what is happening. Both a special and an ordinary child are calmer if he knows what will happen now. It is easier for a child, he finds a place for himself - he is busy with business, he knows what is happening around and what is his role in this. Each child is trying to determine the boundaries of his space, his social niche, to understand what is possible, what is not, and what needs to be done. And the usual, simple, functional actions that are necessary in any case, which make up a child's day, can be the basis for building an understandable and predictable world.
Of course, we must not forget that the regimen and rituals are for us, and not we are for rituals, and therefore it is very important to demonstrate to the child that these rules and skills are created only for our convenience, and not "for the sake of rules." And therefore, if we are in a hurry today and are tired, we can not take it to the place, then we will take it. This is a very important point, without it the child will perceive every forced violation of the order - and yet they are inevitable - as destroying his familiar world.
We came up with this for Natik. Here even a three-year-old will be able to figure it out: 6 pockets for 6 working days, each has everything you need - a blouse, panties, socks. And next to Talina capsules.
So, about the collar. Since the things are hanging side by side, since the children have the same bedspreads, so convenient for making beds, navigate by the blue crocodile, see the picture above, and since Talya wants to collect Natya in the kindergarten so much, why not?
After all, it would be much more logical if Talya, taking his things, at the same time helps, reminds, makes sure that Natik takes his things.
Talya will get dressed, and Nate will help, because she is nearby. He would fold his pajamas and make the bed, and him at the same time, with him.
And I'll make her a better breakfast for that - she's so tired of the same sandwiches. Maybe I would be glad to diversify, but I have to deal with Natik. And now I can. And everyone will benefit.
That's what the discarded cupboard did. To scrambled eggs and cottage cheese for breakfast. Did you see?
The only thing that marred my wonderful existence was the understanding that Natik, dressed in his kindergarten suit, specially taken from the shelf and therefore not very replaceable, and breakfast followed by brushing his teeth, is not very compatible. But after consulting with the kids, I realized that I still don’t want to risk dressing children who are already busy playing and doing other things. Therefore, we will try to resort to an apron. In a few months I will write whether my child agreed to an apron - so far he did not agree, but now he is already big.
