Family code words

The Importance of Code Words

The Importance of Code Words

What is the importance of code words? Well, let’s back up and start with what a code word actually is. A code word is a term a child can use to alert their parents that they are uncomfortable, without having to be detailed. Your child needs you and they can’t be too specific on why they need you.

Let’s start with a realistic hypothetical. Say my kid is going on a sleepover at a friend’s house. At some point during his time away from me, he becomes uncomfortable. Maybe he was being teased, he’s homesick, or someone has violated his body autonomy.

He calls me and says, “Mom I forgot to feed our cat Gato. I just wanted to let you know.” But here’s the thing: We don’t have a cat named Gato. We’re really more of a dog family, but that’s not the point. Once he says the word, “Gato” I know he needs me. It’s our code word, and a siren goes off in my head. I am in the car and on my way to get him, no questions asked and no further explanation needed.

The code word is my mommy-bat signal.

As it turns out, he missed his family. He just wanted to come home. Kids don’t always want their friends to know they’re missing their parents, right? It can be embarrassing to admit to homesickness. When the parents open the door, I can make-up an excuse as to why I’m there. He saves face with his friends and he’s also relieved to be leaving with me. Win-win.

But what if my son isn’t being teased? Maybe he’s not missing the comfort of his own house and the presence of mom and dad. What if a parent’s worst nightmare has become reality? Someone has violated a personal body boundary or exposed him to harmful material. Because no matter how often I teach him about boundaries and saying “NO” I cannot completely eliminate the risk of abuse. If my son were to call and tell me exactly what happened, the person who hurt him might overhear.

In the time it takes me to speed over there or call the police

A code word gives children a way out of a scary situation. It gives them power in moments where they may otherwise feel powerless. If a code word is something you need to create in your home, keep these things in mind:

• A code word should be easy to remember by kids and their parents. Never make it obvious for others to catch onto or learn.
• Code words should not be middle names, parent names, or anything that can be easily looked up on the internet.
• A code word is not something to be shared outside of a parent-child relationship. Full disclosure: my three-year-old son doesn’t have a code word yet. Please know that “Gato” is just an example!
• Code words should be reviewed. Especially before sleepovers, family events, or if a babysitter is coming to stay with them.
• Explain that code words are not just for immediate physical danger. Anytime they are uncomfortable or if an “inner siren” goes off, code words are fair game.

Just like I hope he never needs stop-drop-and-roll, I hope my son never needs his code word. But we will educate and review as often as possible just in case. This is another piece of personal body safety we can teach our kids, and once again empower them to be seen and heard.

Children are not things to be molded, but are people to be unfolded. 

FULL TRANSCRIPT. (The following is the full transcript of this episode of The Be Seen and Heard Journey. Please note that this episode, like all BSH Journey episodes, features Victor speaking extemporaneously–he is unscripted and unedited.)

The Importance of Code Words

It’s Victor! Welcome to another Be Seen and Heard Journey. Thank you for being with me today. Today’s topic I’m extremely passionate about. It’s all on the importance of code words. Now, there are many implications to using this term and to implementing it into your daily life. Let me explain what it is.

A code word is either words or gestures that can be used to really communicate that you’re in a dangerous situation.

Let me give you a couple of examples of where code words could have worked and been very effective and where they currently are working. I was at a school in California last year. I was surrounded by hundreds of students. And I remember the gym being kind of dark. I had just finished my presentation. At the end I always do questions and answers.

I had this, I think she was in seventh grade. She raised her hand and she asked a very specific question. I immediately had to keep my eye on her. And the question was, “What happens if it’s a parent that’s abusing you?” Right away, it was a red flag to me. I just had a feeling that something wasn’t right in her life now, from my perspective. And this didn’t happen, but I thought about it afterwards.

I continued to allow the students to ask questions.

And I was trying to remember where this girl was. Well, the problem with that is at the end of the program, she might’ve gotten up and walked away. I never would’ve seen her again. That’s where a code word for me could have come in handy. I could have said something and I could have set that up with the staff prior to me doing the presentation.

So that maybe when I said whatever the word was, a social worker or counselor could have come up by me and just stood there. And then we could have gone up to that girl right away. Fortunately, she came up to me after the presentation and she disclosed that it was her dad that was abusing her.

I was very fortunate at that moment, but that’s something to really think about in terms of code words.

A friend of mine just recently sent me a video. And on the video, this woman is talking and it’s like a remote learning kind of environment. And as she’s talking, she puts up like a fist. It was a specific gesture that she did, which symbolizes to the person who she’s talking to that she’s in a domestic violence situation. I think that is so powerful. She continued talking and she made this gesture and that’s all she had to do. It is so powerful.

The last code word that I want to share is something I’ve developed for my kids.

This is a code word that reminds that no one touches them in appropriately. I have developed a phrase through my curriculum called tic-tac-no-go-tell-someone you know and trust. I won’t get into all that. But that simple phrase is my code word for my kids.

Let me explain. I don’t have to share a lot anymore about sexual abuse. They know it very, very well. All I have to do is use that phrase and it allows them to understand where I’m coming from. Let me explain. When I take my daughter to a sleepover and she’s now in eighth grade, I walk her to the door. I give her a hug because I love her so much. I say, “Listen, remember tic-tac-no-go.”

That’s all I have to say, because that phrase is simply a reminder to her that no one touches her inappropriately.

And it’s also a reminder to her to be aware of her surroundings, to help her friends out. And she’s like, “Dad, I got it. No problem.” I’ve seen code words used at parties where a young person is maybe in distress or is feeling uncomfortable. All they have to do is text that word to their parent instead of explaining it all. They text the word and that parent knows when they receive that word in a text, they immediately go and pick that child up.

These are so simple, but they are so powerful. I absolutely love them. And I’m going to be incorporating them more into my presentations moving forward. So I want to say thank you for taking the time to watch this. Please read Deanna’s blog. Go subscribe to our podcasts and share our videos with everyone in your life. Thank you so much. And remember every child deserves to be seen and heard. Have a great day.

The Importance of Code Words

20 Funniest Code Words Families Have Come Up With

The notion of having a family code word so that children can safely identify who is actually here to pick them up and who is bluffing has been around for a very long time.

My parents never bothered to come up with a family code word for my sister and I because if my mother had to work late for one reason or another, we simply stayed in the afterschool program until she was done and was able to pick us up. As we got older, we lived fairly close to our respective high schools and either walked home or took a five-minute bus ride to get home.

That being said, it was definitely all the rage for parents to come up with an agreed-upon family password for their children when I was growing up, and I know many of my childhood friends used to use code words to verify whether or not the person supposedly there to pick them up was legitimate, since their parents were stricter than mine were.

The idea of using a code word has also evolved from just being a way to keep a child safe during pick-ups at school if for one reason or another mom and dad can’t make it.

Blogger Bert Fulks’ article went viral after he posted about the code word he uses with his children to subtly let him know that they’re in an uncomfortable position and want to go home ASAP.

Typically, many family passwords are unique to that family or are based on a child’s favorite animal, television show, etc., but below is a compilation of some of the more hilarious code words parents and their children have come up with in both the past and the present.

20/20 The X-Plan Sounds Like Something Created By The X-Men

According to blogger Bert Fulks, he created the “X-plan” as a way to keep kids safe and help them get out of sticky situations that they did not feel quite so comfortable in. And for the record, no, it does not require calling Charles Xavier and the rest of the X-Men in order to save them.

For example, let’s say a teen is at a party and their friends try to use peer pressure in order to get them to do something they’re not comfortable doing for one reason or another. All this teen has to do is implement the X-plan by texting the letter “X” to their parents so that they can call their cellphone and pretend as if something’s come up and they need to go home ASAP.

Another way to implement this code word is to have a child’s emergency contact know that the letter “X” is the correct password and use it as a way for the little one to verify that the person picking them up is legitimate.

19/20 Using Octopus As A Code Makes Squidward Roll His Eyes

Kid Power points out that another example of a family code word to keep children safe is by using the word “octopus.”

While Squidward from Spongebob Squarepants might be a bit annoyed that the family in question came up with that idea, it is pretty brilliant because let’s face it, it’s not that likely that someone is going to guess it. They’d probably assume that a child and their family would go for more cutesy animals such as a lion, a tiger, a bear or a dog. Octopus are certainly cool animals in their own right but sorry Squidward, they are just not cute.

18/20 Hopefully Her Cat Won't Be Upset At The Code Word

Reddit user Kimota94 points out that he and his wife came up with the most epic code word ever for their daughter, although it is one that might make felines everywhere hiss in annoyance.

They chose the word “peabrain” in honor of their sweet but not-so-bright cat of the same name because it wasn’t a common name for any pet and therefore, no tricksy person that was trying to be a creep would be able to take a random guess and guess correctly. Sadly, Peabrain went to the Rainbow Bridge not long after they implemented the code word for their daughter but I’m sure she looked down on her family and facepalmed every time they practiced using it with their child.

17/20 Go Go Power Rangers.....

For children that grew up in the time when Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers was all the rage, it wasn’t unusual to have themed birthday parties based on the show or to dress up as your favorite Ranger for Halloween. I was a huge fan of the show as a kid and I remember dressing up as Kimberly/the Pink Ranger for at least three years in a row during Halloween.

Tagsmcgabs admits on Reddit that he and his brother were such huge fans of Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers that when their parents asked them to implement a code word, they immediately chose the phrase “White Ranger” after the character of Tommy on the show.

16/20 Don't Wear A Matching Jacket If Your Code Is Leopard Spots

Reddit user Stoneybunny writes that when she was a little girl, her parents asked her to come up with a family password and she decided to go with “leopard spots” because as a kid she adored cats both domestic and wild.

Just why? Leopard I can kind of see being a code word since they’re a cool big cat and not as adored as lions or tigers are by children everywhere, but why add the spots? Was she really into those cheesy leopard fashion items like the furry vests in bold colors or the denim leopard print jackets when she was a kid?

15/20 Cucumber Peach Sounds Like A Bath And Body Product

Kozinc writes on r/WholesomeBPT that their code word as a child was “cucumber peach” and I can’t stop laughing at that one because it sounds exactly like one of those fancy-schmancy Bath and Body Works products.

Heck, I remember that it used to be all the rage back when I was a teenager for girls my age to purchase cucumber melon shower gel and body lotion. It’s a great code word because no one is going to think of combining two different types of health foods, but man, it makes me giggle because it brings back the memories of every girl in my age group wearing the scent of cucumber melon as a teen.

14/20 Grab A Dinglehopper Like Ariel

Of_Silent_Earth adds on a Reddit thread that they were big fans of Disney’s hit animated film The Little Mermaid and asked their parents if they could use the word “dinglehopper” as a code word to verify that the person that was supposedly picking them up was legitimate.

This is such a quintessential Disney nerd move and it’s a riot—mainly because I too was a huge fan of The Little Mermaid when I was young and I probably would have picked the exact same word if my parents were the type to implement a family password as an added safety measure.

13/20 The Eagle Has Landed

Abram_SF notes on Reddit that growing up, they decided to use the code “the eagle has landed” although thankfully, this user never had to implement it when they were growing up.

I still can’t get over the fact that they actually used “the eagle has landed” as a family password and I really want to know who originally made that suggestion—was it Abram_SF’s parents or did their younger self manage to come up with that one all by themselves? Just imagining a young child saying that phrase as a code word makes me laugh; it would be a great scene on a family sitcom or comedy flick.

12/20 Time To Grab Some Pepperoni Pizza

Science_With_A_Smile points out on r/WholesomeBPT that when they were growing up, every family member agreed on using the word “pepperoni.” I guess they were all really big fans of eating pepperoni pizza or at the very least adding sliced-up pepperoni to their antipasto during holiday parties or family events.

Not only was Science_With_A_Smile and the rest of their siblings told by their parents to demand that whoever picked them up use the code word, but as they got older and started hanging out with friends they also used it as a way to subtly let their parents know that they wanted to get picked up and come home ASAP.

11/20 Grab Some Refreshing Soda

According to Reddit user Flowergirl713, her family’s password was Coca-Cola. Out of all the sodas to choose from, why Coca-Cola? That’s honestly so random and there are different types of the soda too, like Cherry Coke or Coke Zero. Why not use Sprite, Pepsi or 7Up instead?

They must have been huge fans of Coca-Cola as a kid; I myself was always more of a Sprite or Pepsi drinker before I ditched soda entirely and switched over to drinking flavored seltzer as a college student but my boyfriend and his entire family used to drink Coca-Cola every day for years—apparently they really loved the taste, but to each his own!

10/20 Everyone Needs More Banjos In Their Lives

The Reddit user TheHarperValleyPTA wins “Funniest Childhood Code Word” for me hands down because of how eccentric and out there it is. They admitted on a post that when they were growing up, they came up with the idea of using the phrase “banjo kazooie” as a way to vet whoever was supposed to pick them up.

How their parents didn’t laugh hysterically when they heard their child pick out such a funny phrase is beyond me—I know I would have been on the floor cackling for a good five minutes and I would’ve made them change it because there is no way that I could say something like that without breaking out into a massive giggle fit.

9/20 Who Doesn't Love Watermelon?

Vocesmagicae writes on a post on Reddit that they were a very shy child that leaned toward being fretful over every little thing and it made them feel better to have a code word in their family which is sweet, but I can’t make heads or tails out of why they chose the word “watermelon” as their super-duper secret password.

Don’t get me wrong, I was a big fan of chowing down on watermelon during the summer as a tasty treat when I was a kid, but this choice is just baffling. Maybe they were just really big fans of the watermelon flavored Jolly Ranchers when they were growing up.

8/20 No One Will Ever Guess Pillow

On a thread in the subreddit on r/WholesomeBPT, the user HorsesAndAshes posts that their family code word is the term “pillow.” Before anyone starts to scratch their heads and wonder if they watched the scene in Netflix’s The Haunting of Hill House when the Crain family reminisces about Nell dubbing letters to Santa Claus “puffalopes” one too many times before coming up with this made-up word, there’s actually a method to this randomness.

“Pellow” is actually the wrong pronunciation of the word “pillow” and that is pretty darn brilliant. As funny as it sounds, I have to admit that it’s genius because no one would be able to guess that word.

7/20 Captain Underpants Is Here To Save The Day

On a post on a subReddit forum, I_Am_Da_Fishman proudly writes that back when they were a child, having a family password was all the rage for that generation and they decided to use the term “Captain Underpants. ”

They didn’t mention if there was ever a time in which they had to implement said code word, but if they did, I’m not sure how the emergency contact person said it with a straight face. They must have an excellent poker face and must be able to stifle their laughter as well as any Academy Award-winning actor or actress on a movie set.

6/20 Dognoodle Sounds Like A New Hybrid Breed

AThrowAway4Reasons admits that their family code word is “dognoodle” because it is a made-up word that no potential creep that might flag the stranger-danger signs will be able to guess and it is a lot of fun for children to say when someone comes to pick them up from school.

Of course, the word “dognoodle” is an absolute riot because it conjures up the mental image of a canine-snake hybrid—especially since it’s become common for snake owners to call their beloved pets “noodles.” Hey Nickelodeon, instead of Cat Dog, why not make a new animated television series called Dognoodle about a creature that is half-dog and half-snake?

5/20 Rainbow Sandwiches Made By Rainbow Brite

YennOfVen notes on Reddit that they came up with the family password and decided to use “Rainbow sandwiches. ”

This is pretty funny and creative, I must admit, but what I really want to know is if they came up with this for their family because they got their child hooked on the old-school Rainbow Brite animated television show or if they introduced their child to the rainbow cookies that are so often sold in bakeries and are known as “Seven Layer cookies” here in New York. Personally, I hope it’s the latter because those cookies are so delicious that they deserve to be turned into a code word for kids to use.

4/20 Sebastien Is Side-Eying The Family That Uses Lobsters As A Code Word

Reddit poster Heaven-In-A-Can writes that when they were growing up, they decided to use the word “lobster” as a code word for school pick-ups and their parents agreed to it.

But why though? Out of all the animals in the animal kingdom, why go for a lobster? Did they love eating at Red Lobster when they were a kid because they are a huge fan of seafood or was it because they thought the character of Sebastian (wait, that was actually a crab. ..) from Disney’s The Little Mermaid was an absolute riot every time they watched the movie? Inquiring minds want to know about this random choice!

3/20 Time To Pack Up And Head To Tinseltown

According to Reddit user Rava3396, their family password is “Tinseltown,” but not for the reasons that you would expect. If someone told me that was their family’s code word, I, like many others, would assume it is due to the fact that their child is a huge fan of acting and wants to grow up to be a star in “Tinseltown”—AKA Hollywood.

Nope. Rava3396 adds that they chose “Tinseltown” as a code word for their family not for Hollywood but due to the fact that it is actually the name of a local movie theater near where they live.

2/20 Simba Can Tell That You Are Lion

When Reddit user Karnadas was growing up, they write that their father came up with the idea to use the word “lion” as the family passcode.

Part of the reason was due to the fact that the two of them loved to watch Disney’s animated flick The Lion King almost every weekend and the other reason was because they were both big fans of the sports team The Bears, so no one would guess that they went for a feline password instead of a grizzly bear or something along those lines. I have to hand it to Karnadas’s dad—that is both funny and clever!

1/20 Perry The Platypus Is Delighted

Reddit user Suvefuii notes that when they were a child, their parents asked their children to come up with their own unique family code words because like siblings everywhere, sharing the exact same password was just not fun for everyone involved.

Suvefuii went with the sensible option of “cheetah” since that was their favorite animal thanks to the endless wildlife television shows on The Discovery Channel while their brother also picked his favorite animal—a platypus. Anyone else get the feeling that Perry the Platypus from the Disney animated televisions series Kim Possible was his favorite character too and that’s why he chose “platypus” as his code word?

Sources: Values Parenting, Good Housekeeping, Savvy Mom, Impact ADHD,  Revved Up Kids, Protect Young Minds, Kid Power, WholesomeBPT, Bert Fulks.

The secrets of the twelve code words of Elizabeth II and her family are revealed

When you are a member of the royal family, many life events take place in a special way, including ... preparing for your own funeral. The departure of the monarch is, of course, a significant state grief, because the ruling king or queen is the key to the security and integrity of the country. The death of the monarch is indicated by a special code word so that only the military and family members can understand what happened without sowing panic and speculation. Also, each high-ranking member of the royal family has been assigned a unique code name to classify a significant event.

In addition, the funeral of a monarch must be carefully planned well in advance of his death. The preparation is a state secret and requires the participation of many state structures. In the case of Elizabeth II, who has reigned since the 1960s, preparations for the funeral began on the day of her ascension to the throne and never stopped. Yes, you read that right, the Queen has been rehearsing her own funeral for 61 years. Every year, having several dress rehearsals to make sure everything goes smoothly and according to the script. Well, isn't it wonderful to live in preparation for the " to the last chord ", knowing that everything will go flawlessly.

In addition to the royal code word, which means the death of the monarch, there are other words. They are mainly used for royal visits, holidays abroad, and generally to ensure the safety of the family during negotiations between intelligence agencies. In the event of an unauthorized hacking of a classified frequency, it will be difficult for violators to understand what or who they are talking about. So, for example, London Bridge is called Tay Bridge, and instead of the names of members of the royal family, Sharon and Daphne are used. What do the code words and names actually say? Let's figure it out together.

As the most important member of the family, Her Majesty the Queen naturally has several code names. When she moves around the city, it is essential for the police and military to keep her safe (she is 94 years old, after all), which is why she is known as Sharon . Although at first glance this name may seem funny, because the use of such a common name does not deter anyone who can possibly hack the airwaves in search of insider information about the royal families, but most often the intelligence agencies simply refer to her as “S ".

If it comes to the death of the queen, perhaps the most symbolic code phrase of all will be used - operation " London Bridge ". The Queen's Private Secretary will be responsible for informing important people and putting into place the planned protocol by announcing that " London Bridge is out of service ".

The Duke of Edinburgh, aka Prince Philip, is still prospering at 99 years. Old age has long been a cause for public concern, but his grandson, Prince William, is in a hurry to reassure his subjects: “ everything is fine with his grandfather ,” he says. At the same time, preparations are in full swing at Buckingham Palace for the celebration of the 100th anniversary of Prince Phillip. However, we should still be on our guard if we suddenly hear the words "Operation Fort Bridge ". This code word denotes the death of Prince Philip, as well as the start of preparations for the funeral of a member of the royal family. The real Forth Bridge is located in Edinburgh, Scotland. Since Prince Philip has the title of Duke of Edinburgh, he was given the appropriate word with a reference to the geographical location.

Although William and Kate do not have funeral code names, they do have an alias that they use when they go on vacation or royal tours. Agree, the Duke of Cambridge or the Duchess of Cambridge is much more difficult to pronounce than Daphne Clark and Danny Collins . Both names have the initials "DC - Duchess Cambridge", which, of course, stand for the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

Despite the fact that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are no longer members of the royal family, they had code names before their departure: Davina Scott and David Stevens . The couple used these aliases, similar to the names of the Hollywood couple, long before they fled the UK to California, mainly these names were used for royal visits and holidays. The pseudonyms became prophetic for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, because in the end they settled in Hollywood and acquired their first property in Santa Barbara, becoming neighbors of such celebrities as Ofra Winfrey and Katy Perry with Orlando Bloom.

Perhaps the most unexpected codename for the future King of England is that he is referred to as none other than " Unicorn ". This mythical creature was actually the nickname of our future king when he visited the United States in 1971. Although this information is not confirmed in any way by official sources, we definitely think that he likes rainbows and sequins. After all, fashion for him is not something distant, but, on the contrary, a very important matter of his life. After all, Prince Charles is not only a famous fashionista, but also an environmentalist who cares about popularizing the trend for responsible consumption.

When Prince Charles eventually becomes king, he will be given a new code word. His coronation will be the first in 68 years and promises to be grand, since the last such ceremony took place in 1953, when his mother Elizabeth II became Queen of Great Britain. It's safe to say that the coronation of " Unicorn " will be massive. Rehearsals are already underway, according to an insider close to Buckingham Palace. At the same time, the coronation procedure itself has already received its code phrase: “ Golden Orb .” During the coronation, Prince Charles will make his vow to God using a golden orb surmounted by a cross, and since it resembles a ball, hence the phrase "Golden Orb".

But these are not the only code words used to keep Prince Charles secret. There is another special one given to him in a skiing incident in 1988 when he went missing. The family then had to be pretty worried, and the special services had to come up with a new code word, preparing for the worst scenario, “ Menai Bridge " in honor of the Menai Suspension Bridge geographically located in Wales. And, despite the fact that, fortunately, then he was found alive and unharmed, in the event of death, the Menai Bridge will have to be used again.

If for some reason you haven't watched The Crown yet on Netflix, you need to fix it now. And not because it has become the most talked about series of 2020, but because it is watched by members of the royal family, including Elizabeth II, Princess Anne, Prince Harry with Meghan Markle and other members of the Windsor family. Looking through one of the series, you can see for yourself the wisdom of Diana and her ingenuity. The princess, along with journalist Andrew Morton, wrote a book about her life while married to Prince Charles. The book was such a huge secret that it even got a secret nickname: " Nov ", and after that this code name passed to Diana herself. Princess Diana came up with the name when she learned that among journalists, Andrew Morton was widely known as " Noble Author and Historian " - why not Noah.

Photo source: Gettyimages