Homer i like stories
The World-Record Holder for Most Homer Simpson Tattoos Shares the Stories Behind His Comedic Ink
Gather ‘round, ye fans of The Simpsons, tattoos, and Simpsons characters as tattoos, for I was able to speak to the man who holds the Guinness World Record for the most tattoos of a single cartoon character. That's right, Lee Weir received this distinguished designation for the 55 Homer Simpson faces inked all over his body — which is way cooler than the usual news involving "homers," "needles," and "record books."
A New Zealander, Weir works as a DJ at the country’s biggest rock station (“The Rock”) and also officiates weddings where every other person probably asks him about his love for Homer Simpson. “When I was studying radio in 2007, I got a Homer Simpson tattoo on my left shoulder,” Weir tells me. “The plan was to get a whole bunch of different cast members done up in a sleeve, but I honestly couldn’t choose who to put on and who to leave off.
I mean, seriously, how do you choose? How do I include Moe but not Sideshow Bob? Lenny or Carl? Frank Grimes or Ol’ Gil?”
After making about five different lists over a couple of years, reality hit Weir: These were “not the problems of normal people.” So he chilled out for a while until, one day, inspiration struck while watching the Simpsons episode “Smoke on the Daughter,” the one with the raccoons. “There was a family of raccoons living in a tree in Homer’s backyard, and they were the Simpsons, but as raccoons. I had a total lightbulb moment and thought, ‘What if I just got a whole bunch of different Homer Simpson tattoos instead of different cast members?’ So, that’s what I did. I called my tattooer and told him my idea, to which he replied, ‘Fuck yes, let's do it.’”
20th Television
Thanks, raccoons!Weir has always been a big Simpsons fan, and watching the animated sitcom has developed into a family affair in Weir’s household: “My wife Nikita and I have been fans of the show since we were high school sweethearts back in 2003.
Now we’ve been together for 20 years, have three awesome kids — no, not named Bart, Lisa and Maggie — and we enjoy watching the show with them. We love seeing them get the same laughs out of the show that we did all those years ago.”
Of course, not everyone wakes up one day and thinks, “I’m going to go out and get a couple of dozen Homer Simpson tattoos for the heck of it.” Weir admits that he likes doing recklessly impulsive things — “responsibly, of course” — but he’s proud that none of his tattoos are offensive, and he likes the compliments people throw his way. “It’s funny watching people double-take when they see them,” he explains. “Or when people come up to me and say, ‘Hey, I bet you don’t have this Homer,’ and then make some obscure reference to an episode that only a superfan would know, to which I reply, ‘You mean this one?’ Watching their reaction to that is awesome because in that moment, two complete strangers — sometimes from opposite ends of the world — are brought together by a randomly placed Homer Simpson tattoo on someone’s elbow.
”
With such an impressive canvas of cartoon comedy, we figured we’d let Weir show off and rank some of his favorite Homer ink.
10 Hungover Homer
Lee Weir
“I can relate,” Weir tells me. “Still, I always like to say, ‘You’re only hungover if you’ve got nothing to do.’ If you have time to sit and wallow about the fact that you’re hungover, then yes, you’re hungover. But if you get up and get on with it, no matter how crappy you feel, you’re not hungover.”
9 Lady Homer
Lee Weir
“A tribute to my beautiful wife, Nikita, who I have been with since we were innocent 14-year-olds roaming the school corridors at Waitakere College in West Auckland. Let me tell you: She’s a good sport for sticking around! I had to have a Homer that was representative of my wife.”
8 Mr. Sparkle
Lee Weir
“Anyone who is disrespectful to dirt is okay with me,” Weir jokes.
7 Chili Spoon Homer
Lee Weir
“In the episode ‘The Mysterious Voyage of Homer,’ Homer goes to a chili cook-off and pulls out this spoon from a pouch around his neck.
Everyone goes quiet, and only Lenny is heard whispering, ‘They say he carved it himself… from a bigger spoon,’” Weir says. “I love cooking chili, and when my brother was visiting India in 2009, he bought me a massive spoon from the markets for the sole purpose of carving a smaller chili spoon out of it, like Homer does. Which I totally did. When my mum passed away from cancer in 2010, I spent two whole days sitting on her front porch, drinking Jack Daniels and whittling this spoon down. It kept me busy, and really helped ease the grieving process for me.”
6 Puffy Pink Cloud Homer
Lee Weir
“Because we’ve all got hammered and fell into a candy floss machine, right?"
5 Muumuu Homer
Lee Weir
“Anyone who knows me knows that I bloody love wearing a dress — mainly to music festivals and concerts. There’s nothing sexual about it; it’s just something I like to do so that when people see me at a gig, they think, ‘Holy fuck, there’s a big ol’ dude in a dress!’ It’s just like the one Homer wore in ‘King-Size Homer.
’”
4 The Thing Homer
Lee Weir
“I like this one because he’s just like me — big and orange."
3 Bushes Homer
Lee Weir
“The classic Meme. Don’t need to say anymore, do I?”
2 Grunge Homer
Lee Weir
“My tribute to grunge music and the ‘Seattle sound,’ if you will,” Weir tells me. “Some of my favorite bands are Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, etc., and the fact that The Simpsons paid homage to the Grunge era in an episode made me incredibly happy.”
1 Baby Homer
Lee Weir
“When I was getting this sleeve done, my firstborn Lucy was 18-months-old and loved pointing to that one and saying, ‘Baby Lucy Homer,’” Weir explains. “When it was just an outline, she would color in my tattoos like I was a human coloring book. I know, what a big softie I am. Don’t let the belly, the beard and tattoos fool you.”
You can follow Lee Weir on Instagram. Zanandi is, regrettably, still on Twitter.
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Rules of Life by Homer Simpson
Father of the Family
Edition of Rules of Life
Tags:
rules of life
If you really want to achieve something in life, you will have to work hard on it.
And now it’s quiet: now the winning numbers of the lottery will be announced.
I love cold beer, the TV is loud, and homosexuals are on fire.
You know, guys, you can laugh, but I'm much more pleased to feel the sweet breath of a sleeping wife on my neck than stuffing dollar bills into some unknown lady's thong.
Take it easy, don't panic. If anything, I'll make money by selling one of my livers. Both are useless to me.
Children of are our future. That is why they must be stopped today.
Let's drink to alcohol - the source and solution of all our problems!
Beer... My only weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will.
If you are happy and you realize it, swear.
Education won't help me .
Every time I remember something, it takes up space, pushing something else out of my brain. Like the time I took a winemaking course and forgot how to drive.
Catholicism has more stupid rules than video rentals.
Sure Dad did a lot of good things in life, but now he's grown old, and old people are absolutely useless.
Women are like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you're willing to step over your own mother to get them.
Son, you say "butt-licking" like it's a bad thing.
Do not grieve. People are constantly dying. Who knows, maybe you will wake up dead tomorrow.
Ha-ha-ha! My daughter thinks vampires are real! Yes, they are fictional, like elves, gremlins or Eskimos.
I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy.
If so, let him move the sofa in the living room and make the bed. I want to sleep.
My favorite book: "So, you decided to arbitrarily connect to cable TV."
From now on, , I will look forward to everything. My God! Tomorrow there will be a special promotion: two piano benches for the price of one! Oh-oh-oh, maybe tomorrow!
Radiation kills only those who are afraid of her.
I am a white male from 18 to 49. And everyone listens to me, no matter how nonsense I speak.
The Simpsons may be shown on the stupid channel, but they do!
It is not easy to be torn between a pregnant wife and an unbalanced child, but I still found my eight hours at the TV.
Kill the boss?! Will my hand rise to fulfill the American dream?
For lies needs two.
One lies, the other listens.
Old people don't need company. They need to be isolated and studied to find out if they contain any substances useful to us.
Trying is the first step to failure.
Listen, people always have some statistics for everything. This is known to 14% of the population.
The only important thing in life is to be popular.
I see no point leaving the house. We still come back every time.
Nuclear reactor - like a woman. You just need to read the instructions and press the right button in time.
Tears of a dog will not bring you back. Unless tears smell like dog food. So you can sit at home, gobbling up can after can of dog food until the tears start to give away with it, so that the dog will smell the smell from the street and come back on his own.
Or you can just go look for it.
We don't need a psychiatrist. We ourselves know that our child has a deformity.
I see the smiles of of my children. And I understand that they started something bad.
You can't fool your own mother. She cannot be fooled even on the first of April, even if you have an electric fooling chair with you.
My mother once told one thing that haunts me. She said: “Homer, you are a big disappointment.” She meant something, God rest her soul.
Unguarded breakfast is the sweetest taboo.
When it comes to compliments, women become irrepressible blood-sucking monsters and demand more and more and more. But if their desire is satisfied, the payment will be sweet.
If you get mad at me every time I do stupid things, I will have to stop doing stupid things!
Singing is the lowest form of communication.
And when will I finally understand that the answers to life's questions are not at the bottom of the bottle. They are on TV!
God bless atheists!
You can be great at something, but there are always a million people who are even better at it.
In sports , the main thing is not to win. The main thing is to get drunk!
You can't constantly blame yourself for something. Blame yourself once, and live peacefully on.
I think Mr. Smithers hired me for being motivated. All colleagues say that now they have to work twice as hard!
All my life I have dreamed of achieving all my goals.
Facts are absolutely meaningless. Having facts, you can prove any fiction!
God can't be everywhere, can he?
In France no one calls me "fat jerk".
Here I am a foodie!
I get tired of dancing with sexual overtones.
Sometimes I am able to kill in a fit of anger or to prove my case. But I'm not some kind of maniac.
There are no donuts that taste bad.
Children are the same monkeys. Only more noise from them.
Just call your third offspring Child. Believe me, this will save you unnecessary confusion.
You can work several jobs at the same time and still be lazy.
I climbed the highest mountains, descended into the lowest valleys. Traveled to Africa and Japan. Even flew into space. But now, without hesitation, I would exchange it all for something sweet.
You can get a lot of things for free by mentioning it in an interview with a magazine.
Cookies Chips Ahoy!
Smart Italians? Something is wrong here.
It was still not enough, , for some surgeon to tell me how to operate on myself!
Be generous in bed. Share a sandwich.
Sometimes I lie in bed and think that nothing will make me get up. And then I feel how it becomes wet under me, and I understand that I was mistaken.
Fool and money part quickly. I would pay a lot to someone who would explain this pattern to me.
Give a man a fish and he will be full all day. Teach a man how to fish and he will certainly get hooked on the eyelid or something like that.
Public transport - for jerks and lesbians.
Father never believed in me.
I will not repeat his mistakes: from today I will be gentler with my son. And tougher with my father.
No matter how powerful and amazing is, I will not tolerate attacks even from the ocean!
Even if you borrow something from a neighbor for a while, it's still better to do it under the cover of darkness.
I won't lie: being a father is not easy. Not like a mother.
In my house we obey only the laws of thermodynamics.
It is always better to watch a process than to do something yourself.
To be loved, you have to be nice to everyone every day. To hate - you don’t have to strain at all.
Life is just a bunch of stuff going on.
Understand that there is a little Homer Simpson in every of us.
Aristotle is good, but Homer is a villain
Cabbage and carrots will save the world, Plato and Aristotle are good, and a writer should not write about himself, but about others. We learned all this after talking with Fedor Kiselev, the author of the book Seventy Raccoons and Two Women, who recently celebrated his fifth birthday.
Since February 24, 2022, all of us have faced the coming barbarism, violence and lies. In this situation, it is extremely important to preserve at least the remnants of culture and support the values of humanism, including for the sake of the future of Russia. Therefore, the editors of Gorky will continue to talk about books, reminding our readers that there is room for thought and fiction in the world.
— Fedor, please tell us why your book is called Seventy Raccoons and Two Women.
- I saw the dug hole that the workers had made, and I said, "These were dug by raccoons, there were seventy of them.
" And two more women. Only seventy-two. And then we got such a book, and everyone should buy it. And even my English teacher got a book. And even grandma and grandpa will get it. The book "Seventy raccoons and two women" has many pluses. There are seventy raccoons there. There are two women there. There is Mr. Dog.
— Why “women” and not “women”, for example, or “girls”?
- Women are grandmothers.
— You mean older women?
Yes.
— Do their age and gender matter in the context of your story?
— None.
- Do I understand correctly what this is a statement against sexism and ageism?
Yes.
(A toy pig grunts.)
— Why seventy?
— Seventy raccoons?
- Yes.
- Because seventy is a big number.
— How do you feel about the feminist turn in contemporary literature?
— I was offered to make such a book, and I agreed.
- In your book, women eat cabbage. Does it have any symbolic meaning?
Yes. A raccoon eats carrots.
- Can you explain the meaning of this metaphor?
- There's a calendar at the end. And there is also a metaphor that my book was received by the British and in different countries. It has become the most important book, and this is my very first book.
— But why do women still eat cabbage?
- We decided so.
— With this book, do you want to put an end to the history of new literature, or maybe open a new page in it?
- I want to open a new page.
— So you think that you need to forget everything that was written before and admit that "Seventy raccoons and two women" is a book with which world literature really begins?
- Yes.
— And who would you call your predecessors in this field?
- Seventy raccoons and two women.
Artist: Dedslköx
— Good.
Here we have on the site "Gorky" there is a heading "Reader's biography". What books have influenced you? What kind of books do you like to read?
— I like to read my books. I also have comics.
— Which ones?
- Marvel.
— Is it Marvel? Not DC?
Yes. Not DC, but Marvel.
— What is your favorite character there?
- Spiderman.
— Do you have any superpowers? Well, Spider-Man has a spider sense. And you?
Yes. I have a superpower.
Tell me.
- I am the strongest.
- So you are like the Hulk?
- Yes, like the Hulk.
- But love Spider-Man, not the Hulk.
Yes.
— Why? What do you like about him?
- I like that they made a new movie about him.
— Are you negotiating to make a film based on your book too?
— You don't have to make a film according to my book.
- Don't?
- Don't.
— Why?
— I want it that way.
Fedor Kiselev
— Yes, I agree. There are books that are difficult to transfer to the screen, and as a rule, these are the best books ... I look at your library ... Very good. Here I see Vasily Rozanov. Have you read Rozanov?
— No. I can show this book (takes it out of the shelf) . "Seventy raccoons and two women."
- A very good book. But I see a dog in it. Does it have a prototype in real life or did you come up with it yourself?
— I came up with it myself.
- So it doesn't exist?
Yes.
— Did you give her life yourself?
— Yes, I gave her life myself.
- And here is a raccoon carrying a chicken?
Yes.
— Why a raccoon? Did you want to portray the predatory grin of capitalism through him?
- Well, yes.
- And here is a raccoon playing the guitar. You love music, don't you?
- Yes, I'm even learning how to play the drums.
— Is there the most important raccoon among raccoons? Or are they a democracy?
— They have a democracy.
- That is, capitalism and democracy are depicted in your book. Is this a satire on the United States?
Yes.
— Are the women Americans or Russians?
- They are Russians.
— And the book, it turns out, is about interstate relations?
— Yes, about interstate relations.
— What do you need to make people stop fighting?
— What?
— Cabbage and carrots?
- Carrots and cabbage, yes.
— Or something else?
- Cabbage and carrots.
Is that all?
Yes.
Artist: Dedslköx
— Wonderful... I continue to study your bookshelf and see Plato and Aristotle here. Who do you think is cooler: Plato or Aristotle?
- I think Plato.
— Who do you think is a superhero and who is a supervillain?
- It seems to me that both are kind.
