Homer in bed
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Homer Simpson Rules of Life
Father of the Family
Tags:
rules of life
If you really want to achieve something in life, you will have to work hard on it.
And now it’s quiet: now the winning numbers of the lottery will be announced.
I love cold beer, the TV is loud, and homosexuals are on fire.
You know, guys, you can laugh, but it's much more pleasant for me to feel the sweet breath of a sleeping wife on my neck than to stuff dollar bills into some unknown lady's thong.
Take it easy, don't panic. If anything, I'll make money by selling one of my livers. Both are useless to me.
Children of are our future. That is why they must be stopped today.
Let's drink to alcohol - the source and solution of all our problems!
Beer... My only weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will.
If you are happy and you realize it, swear.
Education won't help me . Every time I remember something, it takes up space, pushing something else out of my brain.
Like the time I took a winemaking course and forgot how to drive.
Catholicism has more stupid rules than video rentals.
Of course, dad did a lot of good things in life, but now he is old, and old people are absolutely useless.
Women are like beer. Look good, smell good, and you're willing to step over your own mother to get them.
Son, you say "butt-licking" like it's a bad thing.
Do not grieve. People are constantly dying. Who knows, maybe you will wake up dead tomorrow.
Ha-ha-ha! My daughter thinks vampires are real! Yes, they are fictional, like elves, gremlins or Eskimos.
I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy. If so, let him move the sofa in the living room and make the bed. I want to sleep.
My favorite book: "So you decided to arbitrarily connect to cable TV.
"
From now on I will look forward to everything. My God! Tomorrow there will be a special promotion: two piano benches for the price of one! Oh-oh-oh, maybe tomorrow!
Radiation kills only those who are afraid of it.
I am a white male from 18 to 49. And everyone listens to me, no matter what nonsense I spout.
Let The Simpsons is being shown on the stupid channel, but it's being shown!
It is not easy to be torn between a pregnant wife and an unbalanced child, but I still found my eight hours at the TV.
Kill the boss?! Will my hand rise to fulfill the American dream?
It takes two to lie . One lies, the other listens.
Old people don't need company. They need to be isolated and studied to find out if they contain any substances useful to us.
Trying is the first step to failure.
Listen, people always have some statistics for everything. This is known to 14% of the population.
The only important thing in life is to be popular.
I don't see the point of leaving the house. We still come back every time.
Nuclear reactor - like a woman. You just need to read the instructions and press the right button in time.
You can't bring the dog back with tears. Unless tears smell like dog food. So you can sit at home, gobbling up can after can of dog food until the tears start to give away with it, so that the dog will smell the smell from the street and come back on its own. Or you can just go look for it.
We don't need a psychiatrist. We ourselves know that our child has a deformity.
I see the smiles of of my children. And I understand that they started something bad.
You can't fool your own mother.
She cannot be fooled even on the first of April, even if you have an electric fooling chair with you.
My mother once told one thing that haunts me. She said: “Homer, you are a big disappointment.” She meant something, God rest her soul.
Unguarded breakfast is the sweetest taboo.
When it comes to compliments, women become irrepressible blood-sucking monsters and demand more and more and more. But if their desire is satisfied, the payment will be sweet.
If you get mad at me every time I do stupid things, I will have to stop doing stupid things!
Singing is the lowest form of communication.
And when will I finally understand that the answers to life's questions are not at the bottom of the bottle. They are on TV!
God bless atheists!
You can be great at something, but there are always a million people who are even better at it.
In sports , the main thing is not to win. The main thing is to get drunk!
You can't constantly blame yourself for something. Blame yourself once, and live peacefully on.
I think Mr. Smithers hired me for being motivated. All colleagues say that now they have to work twice as hard!
All my life I have dreamed of one thing - to achieve all my goals.
Facts are absolutely meaningless. Having facts, you can prove any fiction!
God can't be everywhere, can he?
In France no one calls me "fat jerk". Here I am a foodie!
I get tired of dancing with sexual overtones.
Sometimes I am able to kill in a fit of anger or to prove my case. But I'm not some kind of maniac.
There are no bad donuts.
Children are the same monkeys.
Only more noise from them.
Just call your third offspring Child. Believe me, this will save you unnecessary confusion.
You can work several jobs at the same time and still be lazy.
I climbed the highest mountains, descended into the lowest valleys. Traveled to Africa and Japan. Even flew into space. But now, without hesitation, I would exchange it all for something sweet.
You can get a lot of things for free by mentioning it in an interview with some magazine. Cookies Chips Ahoy!
Smart Italians? Something is wrong here.
It was still not enough, , for some surgeon to tell me how to operate on myself!
Be generous in bed. Share a sandwich.
Sometimes I lie in bed and think that nothing will make me get up. And then I feel how it becomes wet under me, and I understand that I was mistaken.
Fool and money part quickly. I would pay a lot to someone who would explain this pattern to me.
Give a man a fish and he will be full all day. Teach a man how to fish and he will certainly get hooked on the eyelid or something like that.
Public transport - for jerks and lesbians.
Father never believed in me. I will not repeat his mistakes: from today I will be gentler with my son. And tougher with my father.
As powerful and astonishing as the is, I won't tolerate being attacked even from the ocean!
Even if you borrow something from a neighbor for a while, it's still better to do it under the cover of darkness.
I'm not going to lie: being a father is not easy. Not like a mother.
In my house we only obey the laws of thermodynamics.
It is always better to watch a process than to do something yourself.
To be loved, has to be nice to everyone every day. To hate - you don’t have to strain at all.
The life of is just a bunch of stuff going on.
Understand that there is a little Homer Simpson in every of us.
Penzion Homer Poděbrady, Poděbrady – Updated 2023 Prices
- Option and cost information
- Facilities and services
- House conditions
- Guest reviews (794)
Featuring free WiFi throughout the property, Homer Poděbrady is located in Poděbrady. All rooms have a flat-screen TV with cable channels and a private bathroom. The guest house has family rooms.
All rooms at the guest house are equipped with a kettle. Bed linen and towels are provided in the rooms at Homer Poděbrady.
Mladá Boleslav is 44 km away, while Kutná Hora is 31 km away. The nearest airport is Pardubice Airport, 47 km from Homer Poděbrady.
This is our guests' favorite part of Podebrady, according to independent reviews.
Couples especially like the location - they rated accommodation in the area for a trip as a couple at 9.5 .
Pension Homer Poděbrady has been welcoming Booking.com guests since Jun 14, 2018.
Distance in description calculated using © OpenStreetMap
More details
Most popular amenities and services
Parking
Free Wi-Fi
Family rooms
Non-smoking rooms
Benefits of this option
This property is located in the top-rated area in Podebrady. Excellent location score: 9.4
Select dates to see availability and prices.
Room type
Capacity
Standard single room
1 single bed
Show prices
Standard double room with 1 bed
1 large double bed
Show prices
Standard three -seater number
1 single bed
and
1 large double bed
Show prices
Improved double room with 1 bed and balcony
1 large double bed
Show prices
Large double or twin room
1 large double bed
Show prices
Single Economic Class number
1 single bed
Show prices
Four
2 single beds
and
1 large double
Show prices
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FAQ about property
See what other guests are asking to learn more about this property.
-
Hello, is late check-in possible around 20:00-21:00?
Hello, the reception closes at 18:00. Thank you. Thank you.
This is a translation -
Reply September 4, 2022
-
- Hello. - Hello. I am Junaid from Italy and I want to go to Podebrad for work. Can my company pay you directly?
Hello, yes I can issue an invoice by bank transfer, which must be paid before the guest arrives.
This is a translation -
Reply January 16, 2021
Nearby landmarks *
Amenities and services - Penzion Homer Poděbrady
Well thought out amenities! Assessment on reviews: 8.2
The most popular amenities and services
Parking
Free Wi-Fi
Family numbers
Room in room
Pets
Pets are allowed on prior request. This service may be chargeable. 9Ol000 hotel for free.
Parking
Public parking nearby (reservation not possible) Charges may apply.
-
check in
14:00 – 18:00
Departure
Until 10:00
Cancel/
prepaymentCancellation and prepayment policies vary depending on the type of option chosen. Please enter your dates of stay and review the booking conditions for the requested room.
Beds for children
Child Policy
Children of all ages are welcome.
To see exact prices and availability, please enter the number of children in your group and their age when searching.
Baby cot and extra bed policy
From 0 years old
Extra bed on request
€19 per person per night
Extra beds are not included in the total price of the reservation and must be paid separately at the time of stay.
The number of extra beds allowed depends on the option selected. Check conditions.
Baby cots are not available.
Extra beds are subject to availability.
No age limit
There are no age restrictions for check-in.
Cash Pension Homer Poděbrady accepts these cards and reserves the right to temporarily hold an amount prior to arrival.
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