Long stories to tell

4 long funny stories with morals to tell your friends

Here are four long funny stories with morals to tell your friends. They all made me smile and I hope they brighten your day too:-

1. The nuns’ dilemma:

There were these two very clever, Catholic nuns. They were so clever that one was known only as Sister Mathematical, whilst the other went only by the name of Sister Logical.

One afternoon, they were returning to the Convent of St Mary but they were still a long way off, when it was beginning to get dark.

“Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes?” said Sister Mathematical, “I wonder what he wants?”

“There’s a logical explanation,” said Sister Logical, “He wants to have his wicked way with us.”

“Oh Lord, no!” Sister Mathematical responded. “At the rate at which he’s walking, he will catch up with us 13.8 minutes. What can we do?”

“The logical thing would be to walk faster. ” Sister Logical replied.

So they carried on at a brisk pace, trying not to look back.

A few minutes went by and Sister Mathematical observed, “We’ve doubled our pace but this plan isn’t working.”

“Naturally it’s not working,” said Sister Logical, “The man responded logically by quickening his pace too. He’s now gaining on us.”

“What can we do?” asked Sister Mathematical. “At this rate, he’ll reach us in less than one minute.”

“The logical thing to do now is to split”, replied Sister Logical. “If we go off in different directions, he can’t follow both of us.”

So off they went in different directions and, as it luck would have it, the man followed Sister Logical.

Eventually, Sister Mathematical arrived back at the convent but she was worried about what might have happened to her friend.

Within a few minutes, Sister Logical suddenly appeared, back at the convent.

“Oh, Sister Logical”, Sister Mathematical exclaimed. “Thank the Lord, you’re back safely. Tell me what happened.”

“Well logically, the man could only follow one of us”, said Sister Logical, “and he chose to follow me.”

“Yes, yes!” said Sister Mathematical, “But what happened then?”

“Well I took the logical course of action”, said Sister Logical, “and I ran as fast as I could and even faster than we had been running together.”

“So then what happened?” Sister Mathematical replied.

“He responded logically, and he ran even faster too,” said Sister Logical. “And within a minute he’d caught up with me.”

“Oh, dear Lord!” said Sister Mathematical. “What did you do then?”

“I did the only logical thing I could do”, Sister Logical replied, “I lifted the skirt of my habit up to my waist.”

“Oh, dear Lord!” said Sister Mathematical. “And what did he do then?”

“The logical thing for him”, Sister Logical replied. “He pulled his trousers down to his ankles.”

“Oh, dear Lord!” said Sister Mathematical. “And what happened next?”

“Isn’t that logical, Sister?” Sister Logical responded. “A nun with her habit up can run a lot faster than a man with his trousers down.”

Moral of the Story: Readers eagerly anticipating a story of a more adult nature, go and say three Hail Marys!

2. Community service:

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut.

The barber did an excellent job and, being very pleased with the result, the florist asked for the bill.

“There’s no charge today, sir”, said the barber. “I can’t accept money from you because I’m doing community service this week.”

The florist appreciated this generous gesture, so he thanked the barber and left the shop.

However, when the barber arrived to open his shop the next morning, there were a dozen roses waiting for him on his doorstep with a Thank You card from the florist.

Not long after the shop’s opened, a cop comes in for a haircut.

Once again, the barber does an excellent job but when the cop tries to settle the bill he gets the same response.

“There’s no charge today, sir”, said the barber. “I can’t accept money from you because I’m doing community service this week.”

The cop said he appreciated the gesture and thanked the barber. He then left the shop.

However, when the barber arrived to open his shop the next morning, there was a box of a dozen donuts waiting for him on his doorstep with a Thank You card from the cop.

Later that day, a congressman walked in for a haircut.

Once again, the barber excelled himself, producing the perfect haircut, but when the congressman tried to settle the bill he got the same response too.

“There’s no charge today, sir”, said the barber. “I can’t accept money from you because I’m doing community service this week.”

So the congressman thanked the barber and happily left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open his shop, there were a dozen congressmen lined up in the street waiting for a free haircut.

Moral of the Story: Politicians are driven only by self-interest and what’s in it for them.

3. The crocodile farm:

There was a group of tourists visiting a crocodile farm in the Florida Keys and they were standing on a floating structure in the middle of an enormous lake, surrounded by crocodiles.

Suddenly, the farm’s owner shouts, “The first person to jump into the lake and successfully swim to shore, will receive 10 million dollars.”

The silence was deafening. People were looking at each other with expressions of absolute horror on their faces.

Then suddenly, a man jumps into the water and starts swimming like his life depended on it.

As the other visitors watched events unfold, the man headed for the shore, with a dozen crocodiles chasing in hot pursuit, all anticipating of an unexpected meal.

The crocodiles were fast but the man swam like greased lightning, and he managed to reach the shore unharmed.

As the man staggered up the beach, the owner announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!”

After receiving the reward, the man and his wife returned to their hotel.

The man’s face was still ashen, as he said to his wife, “I didn’t jump. I was pushed by someone.“

His wife smiled and with a wink of her eye, said, “I know dear, it was me!“

Moral of the Story: Behind every successful man, there’s always a woman to give him a little push.

The old lady at the bank:

An old lady walked up to the counter in her bank, handed her bank card to the teller and then said, “Mam, I would like to withdraw $10.”

Giving the old lady a look bordering on contempt, the teller replied, “For withdrawals of less than $100 you must use the ATM, mam.”

Looking a little crestfallen, the old lady asked why she couldn’t withdraw her money from the counter.

“These are the rules, mam,” said the teller irritably, as she returned the bank card to the old lady. “Now move along please because there’s a line of customers behind you.”

The old lady remained silent for a few seconds, as she gathered her thoughts.

She then handed the card back to the teller and said, “Then please, can you help me withdraw all the money I have in my account?”

The teller took the old lady’s card and tapped her details into the computer. She was astonished to see just how much the old lady had in her account.

“Mam, you have over $300,000 in your account,” said the teller, “the bank doesn’t have that much cash available today. You’ll need to make an appointment and come back tomorrow?”

The old lady smiled and asked, “How much can I withdraw now?”

“Well mam, you can withdraw up to $3,000”, the teller responded.

“In that case, let me have $3,000 now, in $10 bills, please“, said the old lady.

So, the teller laboriously counted out the $3,000 in $10 bills, then counted again, and finally she handed the cash to the old lady.

As the old lady took $10 from the top of the pile and put it in her purse, the teller then said, “Would there be anything else I can help you with today, mam?”

“Yes!” said the old lady with a smile, “I’d like to deposit $2990 into my account, please.”

Moral of the Story: Don’t mess with old people, they’ve spent a lifetime mastering skills younger people couldn’t even begin to appreciate.

Please share the fun with your friends:

So dear reader, were these long funny stories with morals as amusing as you’d hoped? Did they make you laugh?

I hope so.

However, there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

If you could share this post now, I’d be ever so grateful. You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

Other articles guaranteed to amuse you:

3 hilariously funny story jokes to make you laugh
30 of the best puns guaranteed to make you laugh
3 funny joke stories you could tell your friends at a party
3 short story funny jokes guaranteed to brighten your day
5 funny short story jokes you’ll just have to share with others
3 funny stories that’ll make you laugh until you cry
3 hilariously funny short story jokes
You’ll howl laughing at these 5 hilariously funny jokes
29 examples of sarcasm for when you need a witty insult
33 examples of irony and sarcasm for subtly conveying contempt
3 funny story jokes that’ll make you chuckle
30 sarcasm examples that’ll really make you smile
21 sarcasm quotes that are the sharpest form of wit
50 sarcastic remarks that say, ‘Don’t mess with me!’

(Visited 11,036 times, 2,275 visits today)

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: Amuse, Amusement, fun, funny, funny jokes to tell your friends, Hilarious, humor, humour, jokes, Laugh, LOL, long funny stories with morals, Meaning, Philosophy, smile, Stress-free

Funny Short Stories to Tell Your Friends

Steps for Mommy

One of my wife’s third graders was wearing a Fitbit watch, which prompted my wife to ask, “Are you tracking your steps?” “No,” said the little girl. “I wear this for Mommy so she can show Daddy when he gets home.” —James Avery

One of my wife’s third graders was wearing a Fitbit watch, which prompted my wife to ask, “Are you tracking your steps?” “No,” said the little girl. “I wear this...

Pleats Will Come Back

I loved the dress that I bought at a flea market. It fit perfectly, and the skirt was a swirl of intricate pleats. I wore it confidently to an evening party and glowed when a woman exclaimed, “Oh, how stunning!” Yes, I was grinning from ear to ear, until she added cheerfully, “Hang on to it, honey. Pleats will come back someday.” —Mary Lou Wickham

I loved the dress that I bought at a flea market. It fit perfectly, and the skirt was a swirl of intricate pleats. I wore it confidently to an evening...

My Newspaper Was Different

A customer walked into my clothing shop and asked to see the pants that were advertised in the paper that day. “We don’t have an ad in the paper today,” I told her. She insisted I was wrong, so I got a copy of the paper, and we went through it, eventually landing on an ad for pants from another local store. Exasperated, the customer glared at me and said, “In my newspaper, the ad was for this store!” —Edward Oppenheimer

A customer walked into my clothing shop and asked to see the pants that were advertised in the paper that day. “We don’t have an ad in the paper today,”...

Without Her Man

When I was a proofreader, I shared with my coworkers this example to illustrate how writing can skew based on gender: A professor wrote on the blackboard, “Woman without her man is nothing. ” The students were then instructed to insert the proper punctuation. The men wrote, “Woman, without her man, is nothing.” The women wrote, “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.” —Susan Allen

When I was a proofreader, I shared with my coworkers this example to illustrate how writing can skew based on gender: A professor wrote on the blackboard, “Woman without her...

Learn to Whistle

Thinking no one could hear me as I loaded a UPS tractor trailer, I began to whistle. I was really getting into it when a coworker in the next trailer poked his head in. “You know, I always used to wish I could whistle,” he said. “Now I just wish you could.” —Megs Brunner

Thinking no one could hear me as I loaded a UPS tractor trailer, I began to whistle. I was really getting into it when a coworker in the next trailer...

A Great Uncle

The first thing I did when I heard our great-granddaughter was born was to text my son: “You are a great uncle!” He texted me back immediately: “Thank you. What did I do?” —Peggy Klasse

The first thing I did when I heard our great-granddaughter was born was to text my son: “You are a great uncle!” He texted me back immediately: “Thank you. What...

Looking Forward to Your Death

I was admiring my aunt’s necklace when she surprised me by announcing, “I’m leaving it to you in my will.” I was overjoyed, perhaps too much. “Oh!” I shouted. “I’m looking forward to that!” —Mona Randem

I was admiring my aunt’s necklace when she surprised me by announcing, “I’m leaving it to you in my will.” I was overjoyed, perhaps too much. “Oh!” I shouted. “I’m...

I Want the Left Side

As my two sons were climbing into the back seat of our car, Eric, five, yelled, “I call the left side!” That didn’t sit well with Ron, four. “No, I want the left side!” “I want the left side!” “No, I want the left side!” Intervening, I said, “Since Eric is older, he can have the left side. ” “Thanks, Dad!” said Eric. “Which side is left?” —Josh Weston

As my two sons were climbing into the back seat of our car, Eric, five, yelled, “I call the left side!” That didn’t sit well with Ron, four. “No, I...

Previously Beautiful

Teaching is not for sensitive souls. While reviewing future, past, and present tenses with my English class, I posed this question: “‘I am beautiful’ is what tense?” One student raised her hand. “Past tense.” Reema Rahat, in Reader’s Digest International Edition

Teaching is not for sensitive souls. While reviewing future, past, and present tenses with my English class, I posed this question: “‘I am beautiful’ is what tense?” One student raised...

Bring it Back Tomorrow

A customer walked into the post office wanting to mail a package. “Two-day shipping will cost $12.95 to get it there by Friday,” my coworker Billy told her. The customer, clearly looking to save a few bucks, said, “The package doesn’t have to get there till Saturday. Is there any way to make that happen?” Billy nodded. “Sure. You can bring it back tomorrow.” —David Cutcher

A customer walked into the post office wanting to mail a package. “Two-day shipping will cost $12.95 to get it there by Friday,” my coworker Billy told her. The customer,...

Expired 18

“Yesterday was my 18th birthday!” a customer said after walking into our convenience store. He then asked for some e-cigarette products and handed me his ID to prove he was indeed of age. I scanned the ID, but it came back expired. Now thoroughly deflated, he asked, “Does that mean I’m not 18?” —David Hansen

“Yesterday was my 18th birthday!” a customer said after walking into our convenience store. He then asked for some e-cigarette products and handed me his ID to prove he was...

First Day of Retirement

My mother was browsing in a store when a saleswoman offered assistance. Mom admitted she didn’t have anything particular in mind, and the pair started chatting. The woman quickly learned that Mom was retired. Interested, she confessed that she, too, was considering retirement. Mom immediately started telling her how much she liked no longer working and how the saleswoman would enjoy it too. Finally, convinced by Mom’s enthusiasm, she asked, “How long have you been retired?” Mom said, “This is my first day.” —Lee Beacham

My mother was browsing in a store when a saleswoman offered assistance. Mom admitted she didn’t have anything particular in mind, and the pair started chatting. The woman quickly learned...

Meet the Genius

We Uber drivers never know whom we’re going to end up with as a passenger. One day, I was driving over a new bridge, the design of which was very confusing. Completely confounded, I muttered, “I’d love to meet the genius who designed this mess.” With that, my passenger extended his hand in my direction and said, “Well, today is your lucky day. My name is Mike, I work for the county engineer’s office, and I’m the genius who designed this!” Surprisingly, he still gave me a tip. —Patrick Grilliot

We Uber drivers never know whom we’re going to end up with as a passenger. One day, I was driving over a new bridge, the design of which was very...

Do It Right the First Time

After doing some DIY projects around the house, I have a new motto: Do your best to do things right the first few times. —Thomas Ngo

Lady Godiva

When the box with my Halloween costume arrived, it was empty. I called the company and asked where my Maid Marian costume was. “We’re sorry, ma’am. We’ll send your costume tomorrow,” the representative said. “In the meantime, feel free to keep the Lady Godiva costume you got by mistake.” —Karen Atanasoff

When the box with my Halloween costume arrived, it was empty. I called the company and asked where my Maid Marian costume was. “We’re sorry, ma’am. We’ll send your costume...

Lazy Award

At an event famous for giving out awards in bizarre categories, the emcee enthusiastically announces, “The next prize will go to the laziest person in the audience. If you think you qualify, raise your hand.” Everyone raises their hands except a middle-aged man who seems to show little interest. “Congratulations! You are the winner,” says the emcee to the man. “Your prize is this $100 bill!” Still showing no emotion, the man replies, “Would you mind coming over here and putting it in my pocket?” —Submitted by José J. Zuluaga

At an event famous for giving out awards in bizarre categories, the emcee enthusiastically announces, “The next prize will go to the laziest person in the audience. If you think...

Can’t Remember the Name

I had a chance encounter with a pastor who told me about a wonderful event held at his church. “We had a singing group the other day that performed without instruments,” he said. “A cappella?” I asked. He shrugged. “I don’t remember the name of the group.” —Wade Hampton

I had a chance encounter with a pastor who told me about a wonderful event held at his church. “We had a singing group the other day that performed without...

Back to Reality

Tanned, relaxed, and unshaven, I landed at the Denver airport after returning from my bucolic Caribbean vacation. As the customs agent handed my passport back to me, she cheerily welcomed me home by declaring, “Back to reality for you!” —Bruce Neal

Tanned, relaxed, and unshaven, I landed at the Denver airport after returning from my bucolic Caribbean vacation. As the customs agent handed my passport back to me, she cheerily welcomed...

Birthdays to Grow

I asked the kids in my nursery school class what they needed in order to grow up nice and strong. One little girl answered, “Birthdays!” —Abigail George

Get a Better Face

If I ever voiced disapproval of a photo of myself, my mother always had a ready reply: “Want a better picture? Get a better face.” —Maria Zagorski

Irritated Scalp

Suffering from an unsightly scaly rash, my friend Denise made an appointment with a dermatologist who happened to be very attractive. After a full examination, the doctor cocked his head and asked, “Denise, did you get your hair done?” “Why, yes. Thank you for noticing,” said Denise, flattered. “I thought so,” the doctor replied. “Because your scalp looks red and irritated.” —Sandy Hagglund

Suffering from an unsightly scaly rash, my friend Denise made an appointment with a dermatologist who happened to be very attractive. After a full examination, the doctor cocked his head...

Straw Up Your Nose

A few of us were discussing the perils of drinking and driving when my five-year-old granddaughter threw in her two cents. “I can see why it would be dangerous to drink and drive,” she said. “The straw could go up your nose.” —Marlene L. Banwart

A few of us were discussing the perils of drinking and driving when my five-year-old granddaughter threw in her two cents. “I can see why it would be dangerous to...

Only Sign We Have

I was waiting at a small train station when a man put up a sign regarding my train: “30-Minute Delay.” “What happened?” I asked. “The train went off the rails,” he said. “How long will that take to fix?” “Quite a few hours.” “So why put up a sign saying it would take 30 minutes?” “It’s the only sign we have.” —James Joy

I was waiting at a small train station when a man put up a sign regarding my train: “30-Minute Delay. ” “What happened?” I asked. “The train went off the rails,”...

Full Time Soon

I was in a small store in a nearby town one evening. Wanting to find out when it opened the next morning, I stopped a teenage staffer on her way out and asked, “What are your hours?” Her reply: “Right now, six to nine because I’m in school. But next month it will be full-time.” —Darlene Query

I was in a small store in a nearby town one evening. Wanting to find out when it opened the next morning, I stopped a teenage staffer on her way...

Prayers Before Bed

I’m a nurse in a hospital’s children’s ward. One night, I was at the nurses’ station when I heard a little boy in his room talking. He kept the patter up for some time. Finally, I got on the intercom and said softly but firmly, “All right, Johnny, it’s time to go to sleep now.” There was quiet in the room, and then he said, “OK, God, I will.” I didn’t hear a peep from him until morning. —J.C.

I’m a nurse in a hospital’s children’s ward. One night, I was at the nurses’ station when I heard a little boy in his room talking. He kept the patter...

Grow Up to Be a Mother

My three-year-old son: I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. Me: You can be anything you want. Son: (after a few seconds) I think I’ll be a mother. —Mary Lahl

My three-year-old son: I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. Me: You can be anything you want. Son: (after a few seconds) I think I’ll...

Change the Sign

Spotted on a business marquee in Tacoma, Washington: MY BOSS TOLD ME TO CHANGE THE SIGN, SO I DID. —K.H.

Only Thing in My Closet

A coworker once showed up to the office in a white wedding dress with a crinoline, beading—the works. When our manager asked why she’d worn her wedding dress to the office, my coworker replied, “I was out of clean clothes and didn’t feel like doing laundry. ” —Lauren Emily on Facebook, via buzzfeed.com

A coworker once showed up to the office in a white wedding dress with a crinoline, beading—the works. When our manager asked why she’d worn her wedding dress to the...

In His Terms

After my beloved dog Lucky passed away, my daughter tried to explain to her four-year-old son what had happened in terms he might understand. “Remember that baby bird we found on the sidewalk the other day?” she asked. As the truth sank in, Ian grew alarmed: “Lucky fell out of a tree?” —Laurie Navin

After my beloved dog Lucky passed away, my daughter tried to explain to her four-year-old son what had happened in terms he might understand. “Remember that baby bird we found...

Teeth Impression

As the dentist labored over my teeth, he tried to make small talk. “What do you do?” he asked. “I’m a comedian,” I answered. “Interesting.” After a pause, he said, “Let’s get an impression—” “It’s more observational humor, actually,” I interrupted. “I don’t do impressions.” The dentist continued, “—of your teeth.”

As the dentist labored over my teeth, he tried to make small talk. “What do you do?” he asked. “I’m a comedian,” I answered. “Interesting.” After a pause, he said,...

Mom’s Side of the Car

In his late 80s, my father-in-law went to the DMV to renew his driver’s license. At one point during the road test, he approached a four-way stop, looked to his left, and cruised straight through the stop sign. “Sir! You didn’t look to your right,” yelled the frightened inspector. My father-in-law calmly shook his head. “That’s Mum’s side.”

In his late 80s, my father-in-law went to the DMV to renew his driver’s license. At one point during the road test, he approached a four-way stop, looked to his...

Gone Soon

After my husband injured himself, I ran him over to the doctor’s office. There, the nurse dressed his wound and gave him instructions on how to care for it. She then reassured him by adding, “Now, if you do everything I’ve told you, you won’t be with us for long.”

After my husband injured himself, I ran him over to the doctor’s office. There, the nurse dressed his wound and gave him instructions on how to care for it. She...

Last Time For Everything

I was trapped in an elevator for 30 minutes before the doors finally opened. Relieved, I said to a fellow hostage, “There’s a first time for everything.” She grumbled back, “There’s a last time for everything too.”

I was trapped in an elevator for 30 minutes before the doors finally opened. Relieved, I said to a fellow hostage, “There’s a first time for everything.” She grumbled back,...

I’ll Take Something Else

My 35-year-old son and I had just finished our meal when I realized I’d left my wallet in my truck. As I headed out the door, I told the waitress what had happened. “But don’t worry,” I said with a grin. “I’m leaving my son for collateral. ” She looked at him. He winked at her. She turned back to me. “What else you got?”

My 35-year-old son and I had just finished our meal when I realized I’d left my wallet in my truck. As I headed out the door, I told the waitress...

Started With an S

A coworker was telling us all about her trip to Las Vegas. “That sounds great. Where’d you stay?” asked a colleague. “I can’t remember,” she said. “But I think it began with an s.” “Was it Caesar’s?”

A coworker was telling us all about her trip to Las Vegas. “That sounds great. Where’d you stay?” asked a colleague. “I can’t remember,” she said. “But I think it...

She Looks Like You

Sometimes honesty isn’t the best policy.A patient showed up at our medical office and asked, “You’re Mary, aren’t you?” I smiled. “No, sorry, I’m not.” “Are you sure? You look just like someone I know named Mary.” “Well, I hope she’s young and skinny. ” “No,” he said, settling into his chair. “She looks like you.”

Sometimes honesty isn’t the best policy.A patient showed up at our medical office and asked, “You’re Mary, aren’t you?” I smiled. “No, sorry, I’m not.” “Are you sure? You look...

Bathroom Break

I was working from home, interviewing a famous neurologist for an article, when my three-year-old announced she had to go potty and waddled into the bathroom. After some loud moans, she yelled, “I did it, Mom! I pooped in the toilet! I pooped on the floor too! But I’ll clean it! Oh, I stepped in it!” There was an uncomfortable silence as I realized the doctor had heard every word. “Ha ha,” I laughed nervously. “Do you have kids?” “No,” he said, “and I never will.”

I was working from home, interviewing a famous neurologist for an article, when my three-year-old announced she had to go potty and waddled into the bathroom. After some loud moans,...

None Are Sharp

My job as a facilities maintenance engineer required a wide range of skills. One day I might have to fix the furnace, while the next day could see me painting the CEO’s office. When I described it to a coworker as “I’m a jack of all trades, master of none,” I was amused, yet slightly offended, when she offered a less than complimentary interpretation from her native Cantonese: “Equipped with knives all over, yet none are very sharp.”

My job as a facilities maintenance engineer required a wide range of skills. One day I might have to fix the furnace, while the next day could see me painting...

Forgot Mom’s Name

At the doctor’s office, a 20-something man was trying to make an appointment for a Mrs. Brown. Try as he might, he just could not remember her first name. Frustrated, he left. A few minutes later, I passed him outside the office on the phone.“Hey, Dad,” he said. “What’s Mom’s first name?”

At the doctor’s office, a 20-something man was trying to make an appointment for a Mrs. Brown. Try as he might, he just could not remember her first name. Frustrated,...

It’s an Uncle!

A friend was due to give birth around the same time that her oldest daughter was due to give birth to her first baby. On the morning my friend went into labor, I happened to drive by her house, wondering what she’d had. A sign on the front porch gave me my answer: “It’s an Uncle!”

A friend was due to give birth around the same time that her oldest daughter was due to give birth to her first baby. On the morning my friend went...

George Washington the Inventor

Our eight-year-old daughter: “Are you saying that George Washington didn’t invent the toilet?”

The Cat’s Taxes

Turning to me with some urgency, my sleeping husband stated, “I have to do the cat’s taxes!”

No Suggestions from the Horse

My husband was tossing and turning in bed, so I asked whether he was all right. He replied, “Yes, I talked with the horse, and he didn’t have any suggestions or answers for the project.”

My husband was tossing and turning in bed, so I asked whether he was all right. He replied, “Yes, I talked with the horse, and he didn’t have any suggestions...

Sheet for Dinner

As a kid, I was at a sleepover, and I watched my friend stuff the bedsheet into her mouth, pull it out, and say, “That was good, Mom; what’s for dessert?”

As a kid, I was at a sleepover, and I watched my friend stuff the bedsheet into her mouth, pull it out, and say, “That was good, Mom; what’s for...

Personal Mistake

Our son was upset that his baseball coach yelled whenever he or a teammate made a mistake. “It’s just something coaches do,” I said. “It’s not personal.” His response was hard to argue with: “If it’s not personal, then why do they use your name?”

Our son was upset that his baseball coach yelled whenever he or a teammate made a mistake. “It’s just something coaches do,” I said. “It’s not personal.” His response was...

Simple Questions

I was describing my job as an engineer to some middle schoolers when I mentioned that “one of my colleagues and I designed a medical instrument for measuring human muscle tone.” Later, I added, “another colleague and I designed a system to allow merchants to print coupons at the cash register.” Thinking that all this technical talk was confusing, I asked if there were any questions. There was one: “What’s a colleague?”

I was describing my job as an engineer to some middle schoolers when I mentioned that “one of my colleagues and I designed a medical instrument for measuring human muscle...

Toilet Paper Appreciation

A woman at our checkout counter didn’t have enough money to cover her purchase of toilet paper, so I paid the 96 cents. “Thank you,” she said. “I’m going to think of you every time I use this paper. ”

A woman at our checkout counter didn’t have enough money to cover her purchase of toilet paper, so I paid the 96 cents. “Thank you,” she said. “I’m going to...

One Brick

Visiting Annapolis, I noticed several plebes on their hands and knees holding pencils and clipboards. “What are they doing?” I asked our tour guide. “Each year, the upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard,” he said. “So what’s the answer?” my friend asked. The guide replied, “One.”

Visiting Annapolis, I noticed several plebes on their hands and knees holding pencils and clipboards. “What are they doing?” I asked our tour guide. “Each year, the upperclassmen ask the...

Fight to Clean

I grew up above my father’s tavern. When we were kids, we would race each other down the stairs every morning to sweep up the bar and find the change customers had dropped during the night. Years later, as an adult, I found out that my father would throw a few coins over the bar for us to find in the morning. It cost him only a dollar a day to have us fight to be the first one to clean the bar.

I grew up above my father’s tavern. When we were kids, we would race each other down the stairs every morning to sweep up the bar and find the change...

Garage Dog

I held a garage sale with my little blond cairn terrier for company. Soon came the first customer. He took his time browsing and examining everything I had out for sale. Eventually, he found something that interested him. “Excuse me,” he said. “How much for the dog?”

I held a garage sale with my little blond cairn terrier for company. Soon came the first customer. He took his time browsing and examining everything I had out for...

Version of Mary

My 11-year-old takes his homework seriously. One question required him to write a sentence using the word version. His sentence: “Have you heard of the version Mary?”

No Oysters For Me

One day, my physician father treated himself to a plate of raw oysters and offered to share them with me. Just as I was about to dig in, he picked up an oyster, examined it, and commented, “They remind me of infected tonsils.”And that’s the story of how he ended up eating the entire plate of oysters himself.

One day, my physician father treated himself to a plate of raw oysters and offered to share them with me. Just as I was about to dig in, he picked...

Toyota Disease

My friend took her teenage daughter to a new doctor for a checkup. The nurse asked the usual questions, including if she had an STD. “No,” said the teen. “We have a Toyota.”

My friend took her teenage daughter to a new doctor for a checkup. The nurse asked the usual questions, including if she had an STD. “No,” said the teen. “We...

Turn at the Cornfield

Living in rural Minnesota, I find driving through crowded Minneapolis difficult. “I have trouble figuring out when to turn and what lane to be in,” I complained to my grandson. His wife could commiserate. “I know what you mean,” she said. “I never know at which cornfield to turn when we come to visit you.”

Living in rural Minnesota, I find driving through crowded Minneapolis difficult. “I have trouble figuring out when to turn and what lane to be in,” I complained to my grandson....

18 Months Old

My great-aunt looked confused when I told her that my daughter was 18 months old. “Oh,” she said. “I thought she was a year and a half.”

“But Aunt Marie," I said, “18 months and a year and a half are the same.”

She shrugged. “What do I know? I never had kids.”

My great-aunt looked confused when I told her that my daughter was 18 months old. “Oh,” she said. “I thought she was a year and a half.” “But Aunt Marie,”...

Direct Sun

My daughter was anxious to do some landscaping at her new home, but then she called up sounding discouraged.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get these flowers planted,” she moaned. “It says to plant in full sun, but it’s been cloudy for four days.”

My daughter was anxious to do some landscaping at her new home, but then she called up sounding discouraged. “I don’t think I’ll ever get these flowers planted,” she moaned....

I Wanted to Flush

My six-year-old loved his pet fish. He watched and fed it faithfully, morning and night. But one day while he was in school, his fish died, so I flushed it down the toilet. I told him when he got home, and he was inconsolable. Nothing I said helped. After a while, I asked, “Why are you crying so much?”Arching his back, he shouted, “I wanted to flush!”

My six-year-old loved his pet fish. He watched and fed it faithfully, morning and night. But one day while he was in school, his fish died, so I flushed it...

Lost in Translation

I was on a business call when I realized I was late for a class at the gym. I must have sounded rushed, because the woman on the phone said, “Am I keeping you from something?”

I replied, “I have to leave for tai chi.”

“Oh,” she said, sounding intrigued. “What country is that in?”

—Linda Platt

I was on a business call when I realized I was late for a class at the gym. I must have sounded rushed, because the woman on the phone said,...

In the Mirror

Two regulars are sitting at a bar when one of them casually points to a couple of drunks across from them. “That’s us in ten years,” he says. His friend takes a sip from his beer, sets it down on the bar, turns to his friend, and slurs, “That’s a mirror.”

Two regulars are sitting at a bar when one of them casually points to a couple of drunks across from them. “That’s us in ten years,” he says. His friend...

Wrong Sauce

After I paid for my items in an adorable Italian shop, the salesperson smiled and said “Grazie,” Italian for “thank you.” My Italian isn’t very good, but I knew that the Italian word for “you’re welcome” was the same as the name of a spaghetti sauce. So I confidently replied “Ragú!” and walked out of the store. A few blocks later, it hit me: I had the wrong spaghetti sauce. “You’re welcome” is prego.

After I paid for my items in an adorable Italian shop, the salesperson smiled and said “Grazie,” Italian for “thank you.” My Italian isn’t very good, but I knew that...

Who is It?

During a high school visit to France, I stayed with a French family. One night, I was unsure what the meat on my dinner plate was, so I pointed to it and asked in my best 11th-grade French: “Qui est-ce?” The family’s expressions told me I needed some tutoring. Instead of asking “What is it?” as I had intended, I’d asked “Who is it?”

During a high school visit to France, I stayed with a French family. One night, I was unsure what the meat on my dinner plate was, so I pointed to...

Level Pause

After my kids bragged about what levels they’d attained in a video game, I decided to give it a try. Soon, it was my turn to boast that, in spite of being a newbie, I’d already managed to get to level 11. That’s when my youngest son pointed out that the “11” I was seeing on the screen was actually the game’s pause button.

After my kids bragged about what levels they’d attained in a video game, I decided to give it a try. Soon, it was my turn to boast that, in spite...

Disappointing Movie

My mother and I suffered through an overlong, confusing movie at an art theater. Apparently we were not the only dissatisfied patrons. Walking back to our car afterward, we overheard a man complain to his wife, “We left the dog home alone for that?”

My mother and I suffered through an overlong, confusing movie at an art theater. Apparently we were not the only dissatisfied patrons. Walking back to our car afterward, we overheard...

New Job Brain

The new busboy was  just 16, and because  it was his first job, we were all impressed  with how well he had done on his first day. Which is why we were surprised the next day when he didn’t show up for his shift. Then, an hour late, he came running in, red-faced and breathless. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he said.  “I forgot I had a job.”

The new busboy was just 16, and because it was his first job, we were all impressed with how well he had done on his first day. Which is why...

Noisy Neighbors

Apartment life often means little privacy.  I realized that one day when my kitten was running around my bedroom, climbing onto shelves and into the dresser as I was getting ready for work. I finally exploded  at the kitten: “You’d  better sit down; you’re getting on my nerves!” A second later, a voice from upstairs  responded, “OK!”

Apartment life often means little privacy. I realized that one day when my kitten was running around my bedroom, climbing onto shelves and into the dresser as I was getting...

Did you eat him?

My three-year-old grandson asked his mother whether his younger brother used to be in her stomach. “Yes,” she said. “How did he get there?” he asked. “I’ll tell you when you’re a little older.” “Just tell me this,” he said, concerned. “Did you eat him?”

My three-year-old grandson asked his mother whether his younger brother used to be in her stomach. “Yes,” she said. “How did he get there?” he asked. “I’ll tell you when...

It’s Not Easy Being Green

My husband and I spent a rare day with our youngest grandson Malakai, as they live 350 miles away. We crafted, painted, and colored. I made his initials with glitter paint, green glitter paint. He said he didn’t like green, not at all. I asked why. He said, "Well, yucky, nasty garbage is green. ....and then there’s broccoli.”

My husband and I spent a rare day with our youngest grandson Malakai, as they live 350 miles away. We crafted, painted, and colored. I made his initials with glitter...

Potty Training in the Wild

When my son was four-years-old, we went camping in a primitive area with a tent. Prior to our camping trip, I had been explaining to him the importance of washing his hands and flushing the toilet. The only toilets in our camping area were outhouses, which he had not used before. After using the outhouse, he stepped out the door and yelled to me, "Hey mom, where is the flusher??"

When my son was four-years-old, we went camping in a primitive area with a tent. Prior to our camping trip, I had been explaining to him the importance of washing...

Defender of the Innocent

I checked on my six-year-old son one morning, and he wasn't in his bed. I found him sleeping on the sofa. When I asked why he slept there, he said in case bad people broke in the house so he would fight them. I told him it wasn't his job to protect us, and he said, "But I'm almost 10." Remember, he was SIX!

I checked on my six-year-old son one morning, and he wasn’t in his bed. I found him sleeping on the sofa. When I asked why he slept there, he said...

Uncle Pony

When my nephew, Victor, was five, I took him to a local stable for a pony ride. He was very impressed that the stable hands were riding without a saddle. I explained to him that it's called riding bareback. When I returned him to his parents, they asked him how he enjoyed his pony ride. He excitedly told them that he saw grownups riding naked!

When my nephew, Victor, was five, I took him to a local stable for a pony ride. He was very impressed that the stable hands were riding without a saddle....

Hockey and Hometowns

I took my eight-year-old niece to a Chicago Blackhawks hockey game against the Montreal Canadians. She asked, "Are the Canadians from Canada?"

Siblings in the Orchard

When I was a little girl, we always had a calf that was in an electric fence. One day I had some friends over, and we were walking in the orchard. There was a metal glider on the path in the orchard. My friends and I decided to sit on the glider, and talk as teenage girls will do. We sat on that metal glider with our feet in the seat for a good little while, but when we got up, we found a shocking surprise. My brothers had run a wire from the electric fence to the metal glider, and when our feet touched the ground, we got a shock. Needless to say that my brothers find this funny even after 45 years. You have to love brothers.

When I was a little girl, we always had a calf that was in an electric fence. One day I had some friends over, and we were walking in the...

Cashier Phrases

As a head cashier in a departmental store, I had to open and close the cash registers of the cashiers. Whenever a cashier started work, I was paged to open the register. "Open my register," "Please let me start," and "Give me the go-ahead," were some of the terms used by cashiers. One day, a newly appointed bright-looking girl came to the register and said loudly, "Turn me on!"

As a head cashier in a departmental store, I had to open and close the cash registers of the cashiers. Whenever a cashier started work, I was paged to open...

90,000 8 ways to tell an interesting story (with examples and tips). Read on Cossa.ru

Once we were all taught at school how to write an essay. Introduction, main idea, conclusion. A more "adult" version: introduction, background, main idea, developing theses, final part.

But remember how we tell our friends something interesting.

“You have no idea! The couch just fell on me! Imagine I'm walking calmly down the street, and suddenly - bang! - the sofa falls in front of me! Well, yes, not on me. And he didn’t fall very high, the loaders removed him from the car and accidentally missed him. But how scared I was!

This story is a combination of False Start and Start in the Middle.

A good story is a journey that brings inspiration. Read Hemingway's story about fishing on the river and you'll want to buy a fishing rod, put a couple of sandwiches in your jacket pocket and go to a remote river to catch this trout. Watch a good advertisement, built not just according to the laws of the genre, but with soul - you will not buy this Rolex, but the mood of victory will remain with you for several more hours.

It is difficult to write a story that will convey the necessary ideas to the reader and be read to the end with enthusiasm. But it is possible. Just think about what and how you want to tell, what emotion to make the leading one in your story - and start.

Do not turn your article or presentation into a template sequence from beginning to end. Use different plot devices to make a truly memorable story. Think about it: events happen in chronological order, but you can tell about them in different ways.

Monomyth

Monomyth (also known as the hero's journey) is a story found in many fairy tales, myths and religious writings around the world.

In the monomyth, the hero is called to leave his home and embark on a difficult journey. He moves from a place he knows to a frightening unknown. After overcoming severe trials, he returns home with a reward or newfound wisdom. Many of today's stories still follow this structure, from The Lion King to Star Wars.

This is a traditional sequential presentation of events, but it is subject to the laws of the dramatic genre - the monomyth has a prehistory, plot, development, climax and denouement.

The monomyth will help you explain how you arrived at the conclusions you want to share and add credibility to your story. This technique is well suited for demonstrating the benefits of taking risks, as well as explaining how you discovered new knowledge.

The strength of this device is not in the sequence of presentation, but in the contrast of individual steps and the dramatic effect: unsolvable riddles and mysterious strangers are sure to be encountered on the hero's path. Or grandmothers who need to be moved across the road.

Examples

This example is not new, but it is illustrative. Popular advertising video "Coca-cola. Drink the legend! tells a modern version of the tale about Ivan Tsarevich and the Gray Wolf.

Or a story with a happy ending: an infographic story about how a small startup made $10 billion starting with air mattresses.

Author: Anna Vital

http://notes.fundersandfounders.com/post/82297315548/how-airbnb-started

Mountain

This is a story full of tension and drama. "Mountain" is like a monomyth because it shows events in chronological order. But these are still two different techniques, because the "mountain" does not always imply a happy ending.

The first part of the story is the premise of the whole story, then comes the problem-solving narrative, and the action builds up to a climactic conclusion. The story is a bit like a TV series - each episode has its own high and low points, which gradually lead to the main finale at the end of the season.

This storytelling technique is well-suited for telling how you overcame a series of problems, for slowly building tension and getting a conclusion that satisfies you - or confirms that you made a mistake, but learned from those mistakes.

Example

Nikolai Belousov, the founder of the MadRobots online store, tells a story without a happy ending on Habrahabr - about how you can almost go broke selling iPhones.

http://goo.gl/YohE67

How the Getwear denim service closed is a story of rise and fall with a useful conclusion at the end.

http://goo.gl/2GrBR7

Nested loops

You "stack" multiple stories in layers. Put your most important story—the core of your message—in the center, and use the rest of the stories to explain the main principle.

For example, this is how Boccaccio's Decameron is written - the story begins with the plague in Florence, but this only serves as a frame for other short stories that noble gentlemen and ladies who escaped from the plague tell each other. Frame composition has been used by many writers. Open Pushkin's "Little Tragedies" - the tragedy is framed by the story of an Italian improviser who came to St. Petersburg.

How to do it if you are not Pushkin? Easily. For example, write about the next trip of your company to nature. Preparation for the event, competitions, funny incidents, but meanwhile - this is a story about a close-knit team, about the company's values. And if you're ready to show your cards, campfire conversations can be used to retell stories about customer service or industrial incidents that will show the company from the best side.

Example

Another story from the Madrobots blog on Habrahabr (we really liked it). Nikolai Belousov, through the story of the birth of Madrobots and his development as a businessman, talks about how to get rid of procrastination.

http://goo.gl/AEYjcM

Sparklines

Graphic designer Nancy Duarte uses "sparklines" to analyze famous performances in her book Resonate.

She claims that the best performances were successful because they showed the contrast of our world with the ideal, perfect world. They compare "what is" with "what could be". In such stories, the author draws attention to the problems that exist in our society, our personal life and business. The author evokes a thirst for change in the audience. This is an emotional technique that motivates listeners very well.

This technique is great for inciting action, arousing hope, excitement and finding adherents of your ideas. In addition, it is actively used in advertising. While they're celebrating in Villaribo...remember?

Example

A similar technology is used in commercials to show the difference between what you have now and what the product can give you.

For example, in this video, pay attention to the final frames: how skillfully repetition is used.

In medias res (start from the middle)

Literally from Latin, this expression is translated as “in the middle of the matter”. Start your story with the central episode before you start explaining how you got here.

You immediately "throw" the audience into the most exciting part of the story - people will be intrigued and will be very attentive to understand what is really happening.

But be careful not to reveal all the facts at once. Try to hint at something strange or unexpected—something that needs more explanation. Give your audience just enough information to keep them hooked and then go back and rebuild the full picture of the story.

This is only good for short stories because if you make it long, your audience will quickly get frustrated and lose interest.

Technique is good because it grabs attention from the very beginning and keeps them in suspense, and also allows people to focus on a turning point in history.

Example

The history of the Harley-Davidson company, which its author began with a very unusual fact.

http://goo.gl/1aQgBZ

Or an action-packed thriller from "Beeline" about the "Internet forever" tariff.

Converging Ideas

This technique shows how different thoughts come together to form a product or idea. It can be used to explain how an idea was born, or how one idea became the culmination of several minds.

The Converging Ideas technique is similar to nested loops, but instead of diving into the main story through sub-stories, it shows how several equally important stories yielded a single conclusion. Can be used to tell stories about alliances that have had global significance, such as the partnership between web developers Larry Page and Sergey Brin.

Larry and Sergey met at Stanford University in 1995 but didn't like each other at first. Both had great ideas, but it was difficult for them to cooperate. They eventually started working together on a research project. The project that became known as Google.

This technique is good at showing how partnerships are formed and how people come together to work together. It is also suitable for explaining how development has gone at a particular point in history.

Examples

The history of the Ernst & Young brand is about how two talented people achieved success, each in his own business. And as after many years of work, after the death of the founders, their companies merged into one, which is still successfully operating in the market.

http://goo.gl/z5oEXl

And remember the advertising story about two brothers who made Twix: one made the left stick, the other made the right one.

Author: Twix

False start

False start is a technique in which you start telling a seemingly predictable story, and then suddenly interrupt it and start again. You lure your audience into a false sense of security and then turn everything upside down.

This format is great for telling about those moments when you failed at something and had to go back and rethink everything. "False Start" is perfect for talking about a lesson you've learned from your experience, or an unusual solution to a problem you've come up with. This technique is great for capturing attention: audience expectations are shattered, it surprises and makes them pay close attention to your message. "False start" is well suited to demonstrate the benefits of an agile approach.

Example

Excellent Ax roller with a depressing start and unexpected ending.

Petals

This is an amalgamation of many stories around one central concept. This is useful if you have several unrelated stories that still relate to the same situation.

You tell your stories one by one before returning to the central plot. The petals can intertwine as one story intertwines with another, but each of them must be a complete narrative on its own. This gives you the opportunity to weave a rich palette of evidence around your main idea.

By showing the audience how all these key stories relate to each other, you allow people to feel the importance and weight of your message. This technique allows you to combine different plots around a central idea and demonstrates how different threads are interconnected in one situation.

Example

This cute video from Beeline shows us a kind of mini-series about the acquaintance of a new and very unusual employee with the office. The main idea is hidden in the ending.

Another example of a "petal" story is the article you are reading now, each technique leads you to the same thought: stories can be told in different ways.

Start with a story

Well, now you have them - 8 classic storytelling techniques that will make your story more intelligible and attract the attention of the audience. Of course, besides them, there are other tricks that can be used.

Remember that you can bring even the driest facts to life if you find a story that relates to them.

Adaptation and selection of examples: Protext Company.

Original article:

http://www.sparkol.com/blog/8-classic-storytelling-techniques-for-engaging-presentations/

Interesting life stories

Heading: Life stories

This incident happened to Stephen Covey, the author of one of the most popular books on personality development, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Let's tell it in the first person. One Sunday morning on the New York subway, I experienced...

Read completely "

Heading: Stories from life

“Not as I want, but as God wills” is a true story from the life of a famous Russian merchant who later became a monk. Vasily Nikolaevich Muravyov - a successful entrepreneur and millionaire, often traveled abroad on commercial ...

Read completely "

Heading: Stories from life

Children of the Soviet Union... How much is good and beautiful, sad and tragic, tender and painfully dear in this phrase... One has only to close one's eyes for a moment, as memories will flow like a river. .. If you were a child in the 50s, 60s,...

Read completely "

Heading: Stories from life

5 Singers Who Died Their Careers After Falling Out With Producers Will Help You Understand The Importance Of Producing Better. In the history of show business, there are many cases when artists were caught drunk, naked or shouting offensive words. However, similar...

Read completely "

Heading: Stories from life

The Soviet boxer-prisoner in a concentration camp against the German champion was able to demonstrate a great fight, which we will talk about later. This boxer's name was Andrei Borzenko. Being a prisoner of the Buchenwald concentration camp, he was able to have a brilliant duel against the German champion in...

Read completely "

Heading: Stories from life

I don't even know what to do in this situation. The fact is that recently I took my daughter's tablet and discovered her secret account in one of the popular social networks. What I saw plunged...

Read completely "

Rubric: Stories from life

History is what accompanies us wherever we go. However, when it comes to “our” history, the heart involuntarily stops, because we are talking about our past ... In short, recently in ...

Read completely "

Heading: Stories from life

In the 21st century, we are used to thinking that everything around is civilized and cultural. Therefore, when we hear some stories from life, reminiscent of medieval life, we are involuntarily horrified. However, the story we want to tell you happened...

Read completely "

Heading: Stories from life

In the life of every teenager there comes a moment when he is still a child, but he already thinks on a fairly large scale. The life story that we want to tell you has become widely known on the Internet. It is not possible to check its authenticity, ...

Read completely "

Heading: Stories from life

Every schoolchild knows that a person cannot live without a brain.