Social skills for kindergarten
8 Important Social Skills For Kids And How To Teach Them
Teaching social skills for kids is one of the most complex, confusing, but rewarding aspects of raising young children.
It’s no secret that preschoolers and kindergarteners are naturally egocentric. Even when playing or interacting with others, many children have difficulty sharing, empathizing, collaborating, and cooperating.
HOMER is here to help you learn eight of the most important social skills for kids, as well as how to incorporate them into your family life.
8 Important Social Skills For Kids
1) Sharing
Sharing is a part of daily life. That doesn’t mean it’s easy!
Sharing is a difficult concept for young children to get behind. Toddlers, preschoolers, and kindergarteners have a particularly difficult time, as they are more focused on their needs and desires than the needs and desires of others.
This is normal. The feeling that something “belongs” to them is typically much stronger than their desire to please others.
Even though it’s hard to share, doing so is critical to a child’s social skill development, as it helps them keep and advance friendships. It’s also a great way to bond and show appreciation.
2) Listening
Active listening is an important skill that even some adults struggle with. Properly deciphering and absorbing information requires significant focus.
We all know this can be challenging for young kids, but active listening can strengthen their receptive language skills (the ability to comprehend spoken language).
Receptive language skills help your child:
- Handle social interactions
- Answer questions
- Understand stories
- Comprehend what they’re reading
- Understand gestures
While developing their social skills, your child will come to see how important it is to actively listen when others are speaking.
Paying attention to what someone is saying and responding directly to their statements or questions is a big part of healthy communication.
3) Following Directions
The cousin of good listening skills would be executing the instructions your child heard — a.k.a., following directions!
Following directions becomes particularly important once your child enters into their school years.
It’s one thing to follow directions at home with their parents where they’re innately comfortable; it’s another task entirely to follow directions from adult authority figures they may not know well.
Your child will learn how listening and following directions overlap with one another. If they listen well, it becomes easier for them to follow directions accurately. And when they follow directions accurately, they’ll often be rewarded for their hard work!
Keep in mind, however, that multi-step directions are challenging for young children. To help them develop the ability to follow directions, give them one direction at a time.
4) Collaborating And Cooperating
Similar to sharing, your child will learn how to move beyond sharing objects to sharing ideas, stories, and work.
With good collaboration and cooperation skills, children will learn that working in a group gives them a chance to express their ideas and listen to the ideas of others. It allows them to see that it can be fun to work on a shared project!
This may sound simple, but for young children, cooperation can often require real effort. It will take time for them to learn to respect others’ opinions even when they’re different.
By working together toward a common goal, kids can advance their sharing skills to include both intellectual and physical (think: cleaning the dinner table with a sibling) feats.
5) Patience
How many times have you heard the cliche, “Patience is a virtue”? Well, we are here to say it one more time!
It’s normal for young children to be impatient. However, patience really is one of the most rewarding social skills for kids.
Patience is critical for many things, including maintaining friendships and relationships and achieving big goals that can only be completed over an extended period of time.
This is where the concept of delayed gratification comes into play. When you help your child understand that good things often take time (not everything in life is microwaveable!), you nurture them into a patient person.
Learning patience takes practice and, you guessed it, patience! Trust that it will come with time (as everything does).
6) Empathy
When we say “empathy,” we’re referring to the traditional definition — the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
Your child will learn how to appreciate the similarities and differences between their lives and those of people they meet. They will also learn how to empathize with these people, no matter how different they are.
For young children, this can mean small gestures.
For example, if their friend or sibling cries because your child is playing with a specific toy, your child may pause and say, “I know you want to play, too. Don’t be sad. We can take turns!”
But this sense of empathy will likely not appear overnight! Empathy develops over time and across a variety of scenarios.
The easiest way to promote your child’s development of empathy is by showing it in action. When you extend grace to your child often, they will learn how to extend it back.
7) Respecting Boundaries
Some people require different emotional and physical boundaries than your child.
This can be a particularly difficult concept to learn, especially for very young children who receive most of their socialization from within the household.
Likely, if your child is extroverted, they may assume everyone is OK with hugs, questions, or lots of chit-chat. In some cases, they may be right! In others, they may accidentally cross boundaries in their efforts to be friendly.
Teaching your child how to ask permission and identify boundaries helps them establish a sense of respect between themselves and others. The same goes for helping them establish boundaries for themselves.
Let your child know that it’s OK to say no to hugs, kisses, or other displays of affection from someone — no matter who it may be — if they feel uncomfortable. Model this idea by asking questions yourself (“Would you like a hug?”).
When they make their boundaries clear and ask for others to do the same, it will make both parties feel much more at-home.
8) Positivity
Working on positivity can make it exponentially easier for your child to tackle many of the other social skills for kids we’ve mentioned, especially patience, boundaries, listening, and sharing.
With a positive attitude, your child will find it easier to make and keep friends, succeed in school, and achieve their goals.
The easiest way to demonstrate positivity is by modeling it. The more positive you are about your child’s social skill development (including their inevitable slip-ups), the more reassured and positive they will become themselves.
This doesn’t mean you have to be positive all the time. In fact, a healthy amount of honest criticism can be beneficial in helping your child learn to express their feelings.
To do this, start with your own emotions. Let them know how you’re feeling and how you’re managing it in real time if you can. Kids need to know it’s OK to be sad, angry, or mad sometimes and how to handle it.
How To Teach Social Skills To Kids
Now that you know what social skills for kids to include, how do you go about teaching them at home? Let’s take a look!
Normalize Mistakes
Your child should know that you do not expect perfection. There is no way to execute all of these social skills every time, everywhere, without mistakes.
That is OK! In fact, it’s encouraged. Mistakes are normal; they’re how we learn what went right or wrong.
Make sure you normalize this for your child. If they know all humans learn lessons this way, it’ll be easier for them to push through the sting of a mistake and try again.
Encourage Sharing (Without Violating Boundaries!)
Although sharing is great and should be encouraged, there may be some things that are special to your child that they don’t want to share. This can be especially true of stuffed animals, blankets, or special toys.
This is OK, too! It’s great for your child to set boundaries that you and other children respect. To encourage sharing, try not to force it.
Encouraging without forcing also demonstrates to kids how boundaries can be created, acknowledged, and respected between people.
This will motivate them to share with those around them by taking comfort in the fact that what is special to them has been kept sacred and separate. It will also encourage them to be direct about their and others’ boundaries when it comes to play, school, or emotional issues.
Check Their Listening
During social interactions within your own family or outside of it, pay attention to your child’s listening skills. You can observe them to see if they are listening carefully.
Do they seem engaged? Are the asking questions?
And remember it is just as important to listen to your child. This shows them that what they are saying is important and encourages them to listen to you in return.
Think About How You Give Directions
In teaching social skills for kids, the parent or authority figure is responsible for ensuring the directions they give are something a young child can execute successfully.
When giving instructions, be clear, firm, and gentle. As we mentioned earlier, children have a very difficult time executing tasks with many directions at once. Start with one direction at a time that your child can focus on.
When giving instructions, have your child repeat what you want them to do. Only give an additional instruction when the first has been completed. Repeat until the task is complete.
Your child can give you directions, too! That way they have a sense of what it takes to delegate, manage, and execute a task from start to finish.
Give Empathy To Get Empathy
Show your child that you think about other people’s emotions, too! This is less of a teaching moment and more of an authentic display of empathy.
If you see that your child is expressing an emotion, validate it for them. “Oh, I see that you’re excited. I love that you’re so eager and happy to do this!”
You can acknowledge negative emotions, too. For example, you might say, “I know that must make you angry. Do you know how I can tell? What can we do together to make you feel less unhappy?”
This not only helps them feel seen and heard in the moment, but it also gives them a direct example of how to tackle empathy with others in similar situations.
Social Skills For Kids Are Essential
The more your child experiences the benefits of social skills, the more intuitive these skills will become for them. However, all children learn at different rates. With practice (and patience!), we know they’ll get there.
The Learn with Sesame Street app is an effective tool that helps kids learn and develop their social and emotional skills. With the help of their Sesame Street friends, kids learn how to express their emotions, empathize with others, and create healthy relationships. Explore the Learn with Sesame Street app today!
Author
8 Skills for Kindergarten Success
10 Shares
- More
Kindergarten is a big transition for kids! The expectations are new, and some of the social interactions are new, especially for students who didn’t attend pre-Kindergarten programs. We want kids to share, take turns, make transitions, and so much more (all while learning new academic concepts as well). To help kids make the transition, we practice these 8 Kindergarten social skills that contribute to school and social success!
1 – Sharing
This Kindergarten social skill probably seems like a given, but it’s so important for Kindergarten success! Students spend a lot of time in free play with their peers and working alongside one another. Sharing toys and sharing materials is a must. Click here to read more about a sharing activity I do in my social skills group.
2 – Taking Turns
Taking turns goes hand in hand with sharing, but there’s a distinct difference that many incoming Kindergarteners don’t know just yet. When we’re sharing, we have common materials that are available to everyone at the same time. For example, students might be sharing a box of Legos while they all build independently or together.
When we’re taking turns, one person is using an item or items while another person waits. For example, students might take turns using the swing. Or they might take turns reading a particular book. This is when students might need specific instruction on waiting strategies while they wait for their turn!
3 – Accepting No
Newsflash: sometimes kids will hear no, especially at school. Sometimes, they might ask for a turn with something and someone might say no. Or they may want to do something in the classroom and hear a no from a teacher. Accepting no is another important Kindergarten social skill! We can teach kids calming strategies to use in the moment when they experience disappointment, frustration, or anger over a no answer.
4 – Listening & Following Directions
Listening and following directions are huge skills for not just Kindergarten success, but school success as a whole – and we end up teaching this way beyond Kindergarten sometimes! First, we teach kids what listening actually looks and feels like in their bodies. Eyes on the speaker, body still, mouth closed, hands empty, and ears ready to listen. Our bodies feel calm, open, and in anticipation!
Of course, listening has to come before following directions! And lots of directions will be coming to them. Some of our students may need a little extra instruction & practice following one-, two- and multi-step directions that they will undoubtedly receive in the classroom.
5 – Following Rules
Following rules probably also seems like a given, but this doesn’t just apply to school rules. Kids will have the freedom to play with one another during recess. Following game and social rules will be a learning experience for many Kindergarteners, and they may need explicit instruction in social rules. We practice this by playing games, changing rules to familiar games, and talking about how we feel when others don’t follow the rules.
6 – Stating Needs
Need some personal space? Ask for it with words. Need help? Let an adult know. That phrase “use your words,” comes up a lot in Kindergarten, but sometimes our newest students need explicit instruction in this because they don’t have the words yet. Practicing asking for a break, some space, or help is big for Kindergarten success!
7 – Transitioning Activities
It’s hard to stop doing something we enjoy and move on to something else – even for some adults! We can help students tune in to transition signals like teacher reminders, visual calendars, and timers so that they aren’t surprised by transitions. And when it is hard to move on, we can use some of those calming strategies we use to deal with no responses too.
8 – Being Flexible
Not getting what we want is hard. But being able to accept alternatives, roll with changes, and accept mistakes are all important Kindergarten social skills! Setting up an accepting and safe classroom environment where upcoming changes are communicated and mistakes are welcomed is key!
What other Kindergarten social skills do you focus on during the first semester? What are your favorite games to teach these skills? Get my Kindergarten Social Skills Curriculum here.
10 Shares
- More
Social skills of preschoolers - the development of social skills in children
The development of social skills is a necessary point of education. A child with a high degree of socialization will quickly get used to kindergarten, school, any new team; in the future will easily find a job. Social skills have a positive effect on interpersonal relationships - friendship, the ability to cooperate.
Let's figure out what social skills are.
What are social skills and why develop them?
Social skills - a group of skills, abilities that are formed during the interaction of a person with society and affect the quality of communication with people.
Man is a social being: all our talents and aspirations are realized thanks to other members of the group. Others evaluate our actions, approve or condemn our behavior. It is difficult to reach the pinnacle of self-actualization alone.
That is why social skills are important. They should be developed from early childhood and honed throughout life.
Social skills are a reflection of the child's emotional intelligence, to which educators and teachers assign an important role in the process of personality development. Without this group of skills, a smart child will not be able to apply the acquired knowledge in practice: it is not enough to create something outstanding, you need to be able to correctly convey thoughts to the public.
Sometimes people mistakenly believe that social skills relate exclusively to the topic of communication, communication. In fact, skills include many multidirectional aspects: an adequate perception of one's own individuality, the ability to empathize, work in a team, etc.
Why do we need social skills?
- Regulate the area of interpersonal relationships: the child easily makes new friends, finds like-minded people.
- Minimize psychological stress: children with developed social skills quickly adapt, do not feel sad due to changes in external circumstances.
- They form an adequate self-esteem from childhood, which positively affects life achievements and development in adulthood.
- Social skills cannot be separated from building a successful career: the best specialists must not only understand the profession, but also have high emotional intelligence.
Development of social skills in a child
Social skills need to be developed from preschool age, but older children and even teenagers may well learn to interact with the world.
It is recommended to pay attention to areas of life that bring discomfort to the child, significantly complicate everyday life.
- Friends, interesting interlocutors: the kid does not know how to join the team, he prefers to sit in the corner while the others play.
- Verbal difficulties. The child does not understand the rules of conversation, is poorly versed in the formulas of etiquette (when you need to say hello, say goodbye, offer help).
- Problems with the non-verbal side of communication. Such a baby does not recognize the shades of emotions, it is difficult to understand how others relate to him. Cannot "read" faces and gestures.
- Does not know the measure in expressing a point of view: too passive or, conversely, aggressive.
- The child bullies classmates (participates in bullying) or is a victim.
In case of severe moral trauma, one should consult a psychologist: for example, school bullying is a complex problem that children are not able to cope with on their own. The involvement of parents and teachers is required.
In other cases, family members may well be able to help the child develop social skills.
What are the general recommendations?
1. Be patient
Don't push your child to get the job done. Let them take the initiative: for example, do not rush to help during school gatherings, let the baby work on the problem on his own. The same goes for lessons and other activities.
2. Support undertakings
Children's dreams seem trifling to adults, but the initiative turns into a habit over the years and helps to discover new projects, meet people, and experiment.
3. Criticize the right way
When making negative comments, remember the golden rule of criticism: analyze the work, highlighting both positive and negative sides in a polite manner. Commenting on the specific actions of the child, and not his personality or appearance - this will lead to problems with self-esteem.
4. The right to choose
It is important for children to feel that their voice is taken into account and influences the course of events. Invite your child to personally choose clothes, books, cartoons. Ask about ideas, plans: “We are going to have a rest together at the weekend. What are your suggestions?
5. Personal space
Make sure that the baby has a place where he can be alone and take a break from talking. Personal things should not be touched: rearrange without prior discussion, read correspondence with friends, check pockets, etc.
Children, noticing the respectful attitude of adults, quickly begin to pay in the same coin; the atmosphere in the family becomes warm and trusting.
What social skills should be developed in a child?
Let's dwell on the main qualities and skills, the development of which is worth paying attention to.
1. The ability to ask, accept and provide help
Without the ability to ask for help, the child will deprive himself of valuable advice; the lack of the ability to accept help will lead to losses, and the inability to provide help will make the baby self-centered.
- Let the child help those in need: for example, a lagging classmate.
- Explain to your child that getting help from friends and teachers is not a shame.
- Show by personal example that mutual help enriches experience: tell how you exchange advice with colleagues, friends.
2. The ability to conduct a conversation and get the right information
Being a good conversationalist is difficult, but the skill is honed over time and brings a lot of benefits.
- Prompt your child for dialogue development options: for example, you can start a conversation with a relevant question, a request for help.
- Do not leave the child in the role of a silent listener: when discussing pressing issues at home, ask the opinion of the baby.
- Support children's public speaking: presentations at school, performances, funny stories surrounded by loved ones will add confidence.
3. Empathy
Empathy is the ability to recognize the emotions of others, put yourself in the place of another person, empathize.
This ability will make the child humane, prudent. How can it be developed?
- Start by recognizing the child's feelings - it is useless to listen to people if the person does not feel personal experiences. Ask your baby: “How do you feel after a quarrel with friends?”, “Do you want to relax today?”
- After conflicts with classmates, ask your child how the children with whom the quarrel may feel now.
- While watching cartoons, reading books, pay your child's attention to the emotional state of the characters.
4. Ability to work in a team
Many children can easily cope with tasks alone, but this is not a reason to refuse to work in a team. It gives the opportunity to exchange ideas and experience, delegate tasks, achieve goals faster and more efficiently.
- If the child does not communicate with members of the team, try to introduce him to another social group: for example, the lack of communication with classmates can be compensated by a circle of interests, where the child will feel calmer.
- Make the family a friendly team in which the child has his own "duties": for example, do housework, remind parents of upcoming events. Any activity related to the well-being of other family members will do.
5. Respect for personal boundaries
The absence of an obsessive desire to interfere in other people's lives is a valuable skill that helps to win people's sympathy.
- Respect the child's personal boundaries: do not enter the nursery unannounced, do not rummage through personal belongings and correspondence, if the matter does not concern the life and safety of the baby.
- If the child violates other people's boundaries (takes toys without permission, asks uncomfortable questions), talk about it in private.
6. Ability to overcome conflict situations
It is difficult to imagine our life without conflicts. The task of the child is to learn how to culturally enter into a discussion, defend his point of view, and not be led by the provocations of his interlocutors.
- Discuss problems that arise calmly, without raising your voice. Do not put pressure on the child with parental authority unnecessarily: the child is a separate person who has the right to an opinion.
- Do not judge people for views that differ from those of your family but do not affect your well-being. Show your child that the world is very different.
- You can demonstrate to children the basics of a civilized dispute, explain what arguments are, etc. It is advisable to teach this child in kindergarten.
7. Self-confidence
Stable and adequate self-esteem is a quality that not all adults possess.
It is formed under the influence of many factors: relationships between parents, the role of the child in the family circle, the characteristics of the environment that surrounded the child in early childhood.
It is important that the child does not grow up to be either a narcissistic narcissist with fragile self-esteem, or an overly shy person. How can you help your child find balance?
- Praise your child for personal progress: to receive a compliment from parents, it is not necessary to win prizes in school competitions. The zeal of the baby, the interest shown and the stamina also deserve praise.
- Explain, remind the children that initially they are worthy of respect and love, like all people around.
Social skills will help in many areas of life: in studies, hobbies, friendships, building a reputation in a team. The main thing is to encourage and support children at all stages.
Emotional Intelligence for Children
Introducing children to the types of emotions, how to manage them and how to express themselves in teamwork, through situational games
learn more
Social skills and successful learning - Child development
kindergarten preparatory group, parents hope that he will learn to read and write. But before focusing on acquiring academic knowledge, there are many other skills that he needs to master. Research shows that the most important skills to teach children at this age are social skills: cooperation, self-control, confidence, independence, curiosity, empathy, and communication.
In the first months of the school year, educators have the most difficulties with children who have behavioral problems and insufficiently developed attention. In fact, everything is simple: if a child does not know how to keep a queue, listen and sit quietly in a group, how can he learn the educational material? That is why at the beginning of the year so much time is devoted to learning and developing the basic social skills of babies.
Fortunately, the previous experience of social interaction, both at home and in the younger groups of the kindergarten, helps the child to adapt to the changes that have occurred with the team after the summer vacation period. As soon as the kid has mastered the basic skills of social interaction and behavior in a group at a sufficient level, he will be ready to focus on the educational material. That is, a child will be able to gain more knowledge if the approach to the development of his social, emotional and cognitive (academic) skills is maximally balanced by his parents and teachers of preschool education.
Recent brain development research has shown that a child's ability to interact with other children, control and express feelings, and solve basic problems independently is just as important to academic success as academic skills. The pathways in the brain necessary for successful learning are developed through positive interaction with other people! Caregivers use this data to help children build relationships with each other, share and care, listen and speak in groups, and feel confident to take on new challenges.
Beginning Basic Skills
Here are some examples of what good teachers set at the beginning of the school year in senior or kindergarten. Parents can adapt them in their family and help the child develop in this direction, being in the comfortable conditions of their own family and at home.
- Self-confidence and self-esteem: is one of the first skills that caregivers focus on developing. It is important to instill in the child a positive feeling about himself - himself as a person and a participant in social interactions. This is a skill that will not lose its value throughout the child's life and will help him feel capable and skillful both now and in future studies.
- Collaboration: games, stories and songs help a child learn to work with other children - not an easy task at this age! Collaboration for a baby is the ability to empathize and get along with other people.
- Curiosity: Perhaps one of the most important skills a child needs to develop at this stage is a thirst for learning. The caregiver can use a wide range of interesting materials and ideas to engage your child's natural curiosity. Recent studies show that new or unusual activities and materials (compared to already familiar ones) engage the brain more, forcing it to pay close attention to the information offered.
- Communication: Expressing yourself and your thoughts, feelings and knowledge about the world is one of your child's key skills. It underlies all reading, writing, math, and science skills. If a child can confidently express his thought or opinion, he becomes more open to learning and developing thinking.
How Parents Can Help Develop These Skills
Help your child develop critical social and emotional skills by connecting with kindergarten friends in your own home. Ask the kid who he would like to invite to visit to play. It is often easier for children to build friendships in their own one-on-one space than in a kindergarten. Many educators find that a child who finds it difficult to make friends or interact in a large group is more likely to forge a close bond with a new friend at home. These relationships can then be transferred to the conditions of the kindergarten. Once the child has established a bond with one classmate, it will be easier for him to establish friendships with other children.