Socialization skill building


Social Skill Building | Youth.gov

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Social Skill Building

Skill-building interventions (PDF, 2 pages) are designed to equip youth with the skills needed to manage challenging social interactions in ways that reduce the potential for conflict and support positive relationships. These interventions can focus directly on interpersonal skills such as social problem-solving and conflict resolution skills. They can also focus on managing emotional or executive responses to social situations such as anger or impulsivity that may inhibit positive social interactions. Some skill-building interventions focus on both types of skills.

Skill-building interventions can be delivered by teachers, counselors, paraprofessionals, or others who work with youth to build skills, usually with a detailed curriculum or manual. Providers often model the skills for youth and then use role-playing, practice, and reinforcement to promote internalization of skills.

Select a different outcome or intervention family.

Characteristics of skill-building interventions (67 studies contributed evidence):

  • Interventions lasted 16 weeks, on average.
  • Sessions typically took place at least once per week, with more than half of the interventions (55%) taking place more than once per week.
  • Interventions were delivered in classrooms (21%), in separate spaces within the school (resource room or school counselor’s office; 57%), or in community settings (22%).
  • Most interventions used a manual or dedicated lesson plans (79% of programs).
  • Almost all interventions were delivered using a group format (90% of programs).

Intervention examples

  • Middle school students were trained on specific social skills based on individual needs. Parent, teacher, and student self-assessments determined the social skills that were the focus for each participant. Sessions usually progressed through four parts: modeling, role-playing, performance feedback, and transfer training. Students participated in sessions with the researchers during the school day for 75 minutes, two to three times per week over a course of 15 weeks. Teachers of participating students also attended training once per week. Teacher trainings focused on using positive verbal reinforcement to support the skills that students were developing during their sessions.
  • Teachers nominated third, fourth, and fifth grade students to participate in training on relaxation and self-instruction. In the relaxation training, students were taught where anger originates, how to control their anger, and how to use relaxation strategies. Students then applied these skills by listing situations that elicit anger, role-playing, and completing homework assignments. In the self-instruction training, students were taught to discuss anger and use a strategy that involved self-talk, preparing for provocation, coping with arousal, and reflecting on the situation. These training sessions typically occurred over a course of ten 20-minute sessions over a three week period.
  • Ninth grade students identified as “unassertive” participated in a schoolbased assertion training group. The group training took place in a resource room during students’ study hall period over the course of two weeks. Using role-play and modeling, students were taught to respond politely to unreasonable requests, such as asking to borrow one’s lunch money. Each student was given the opportunity to be the first to respond and the group leader gave specific behavioral feedback. Then students practiced the same role-play scenario a second time. Students were given the opportunity to learn and practice assertiveness skills with five role-play scenarios across four treatment sessions.

10 Tips to Be More Social

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What are social skills?

The benefits of having good social skills

How can I enhance my social skills?

Do I have trouble with social skills?

The bottom line

We all have moments where our social skills fail us. Perhaps your joke was greeted with awkward silence. Or, at a restaurant, you enthusiastically told the waiter that they, too, should enjoy their meal. 

The odd mishap with friends is hardly cause for alarm. The embarrassment will soon transform into an inside joke, deeping your bond with others.

But, if you fumble too often, it can take a toll on your self-esteem and mental health. If you don't know how to improve your social skills, it can hold you back socially and at work. Some behaviors can come across as antisocial or even harmful to others, while simple shyness can read as aloof, standoffish, or arrogant. Knowing this might not put you at ease, but it can help you understand other people's reactions.

Now that companies are starting to pull teams together in person, many people are feeling some level of social anxiety. Just because it feels uncomfortable, not feeling confident in your ability to spend more than 5 minutes chatting with coworkers isn't an option. The good news? The past two years haven't helped anyone feel socially smooth. Many people are feeling awkward. The bad news? Many people are behaving awkwardly, and misunderstandings will happen.  

You don’t have to change yourself. But you might have to change your approach, not just to appear more sociable but to avoid the most unnecessary points of friction that undermine your confidence. This will not only improve how others perceive you, but it can also benefit you in other ways.

If you’ve been feeling out of place, developing your social skills can help you feel more at home with your colleagues. It can also improve your confidence, sense of belonging, and ability to collaborate at work — all important skills that will affect your mental health, motivation, and ability to succeed.

Training your social skills can be difficult. But we know you can do it. 

Here’s how to improve social skills at work, with strangers, and in every other part of your life.

Social skills are the verbal and nonverbal communication skills required to foster connections and appropriately navigate social settings. Think about socializing a puppy: The more interaction it has with other puppies when it’s young, the better it knows how to act when it’s older. Humans are similar. 

Most of the time, when people think of “social skills,” they think of their everyday interactions. It’s how they gain acceptance from their colleagues or peers and involves being comfortable when speaking to strangers, easily making friends, and earning the respect of your co-workers.

These things don’t always come naturally. Individuals with social anxiety, for example, might have trouble connecting with others. Introverts or shy people who like to keep to themselves may actively avoid social interactions — and appear rude as a result. Or, sometimes, we get uncomfortable around people we don’t know and lose some of our social confidence.

No matter the case, it’s nice to have some basic principles to fall back on. Knowing how to develop your social skills will help you in the long run. 

The benefits of having good social skills

So what’s in it for you? Well, a lot. Improving your social skills is essential for your social health and overall well-being.

In terms of mental health, people with strong social ties have lower rates of anxiety and depression. They also have higher self-esteem, greater empathy, and are more cooperative. 

For your physical health, researchers knew as early as 1988 that lack of social connection is more harmful than obesity, smoking, and high blood pressure. And, more recently, they learned that isolation is associated with a 50% increased risk of dementia as you age. 

Sharpening your social skills will also pay you back in the form of social capital. Entire university programs are devoted to studying this concept. But, to keep it simple, we can define social capital as the sum of all benefits from being part of a social group.

Social capital comes with its own list of benefits:

  • People will like working with you. Social capital often translates to goodwill from your colleagues; if you’re easy to work with, people will be in your corner when you need it — like when you’re gunning for that next big promotion.  
  • When you ask for help, people provide it. What goes around comes around. If you’re kind and helpful to others, they’ll do the same for you. 
  • Others will understand your boundaries. Don’t want to go to a social event? It’ll be easier to refuse when people trust there are no hard feelings. When you use your social skills, you can help others see where you’re coming from and better communicate your feelings. 
  • Clients will love you. Whether you’re a freelancer, salesperson, or customer service rep, social skills are essential to winning and keeping clients. People like good work with a good attitude. 
  • You’ll nail your job interviews. Job interviews are about making great impressions. This is the perfect environment to flex your social skills. Use open body language, eye contact, and friendly facial expressions to impress your interviewers.

In today’s gig economy, social capital is critical. It can earn you a higher salary, win you more interesting projects, and may be the deciding factor in your next job application. Consider working with a BetterUp coach to improve this area of your career. 

How can I enhance my social skills?

We’re glad you asked! You can definitely learn or improve your social life. Here are some general guidelines to get you started:

1. Improve your emotional intelligence

Put yourself in their shoes. Imagine what they might be going through and try to understand their feelings. You’ll better understand their perspective, which will help you respond appropriately. 

2. Look inwards

Pay attention to your emotions, thoughts, behaviors, and triggers. Then it will be easier to control them while interacting with others.

3. Practice effective communication skills

Use tactics like active listening and open body language to demonstrate attentiveness. This opens the door to more positive interactions.

4. Fake it ‘till you make it

Try acting like your more social peers, even if it’s just small talk. It will become easier every time you try it.

5. Ask more than you speak

You don’t have to worry about speaking up; ask open-ended questions and use active listening. People love talking about themselves.

6. Give compliments

Everyone likes a good compliment. Tell someone that they were great in that meeting, or their project was top-notch. Be specific.

7. Be polite

Good manners go a long way. Words like “please” and “thank you” are small but powerful ways to soften requests.

8. Use open body language and non-verbal communication

Face the person with whom you’re speaking. Pay attention to your tone of voice. Make eye contact. Use your body language to show you’re present and paying attention.

9. Read the news

So many conversations revolve around current events; try to keep up so you can chime in.

10. Don’t let your thoughts get the best of you

It’s okay to feel a little anxious, but don’t let it get the best of you. You’re not your thoughts. Take a deep breath and try to let them go; this will help you relax in a social situation.

11. Start small

Start by spending time in a coffee shop or practicing your conversation skills with family members. Then you can ease into larger social settings. Before you know it, you'll be making new friends at your next social gathering.

Do I have trouble with social skills?

A lot of people with anxiety or ADHD have a hard time connecting with others. Introverts or very shy people may also struggle. 

Here are some signs that you don't have great social skills:

  • You scroll on your phone while people talk to you. Smartphones are great at keeping us connected, but often to the detriment of those right in front of us. It puts a physical barrier between you and the other person at best. This communicates non-receptiveness to their words, and at worst, you seem bored, uninterested, and rude.
  • You never take off your headphones. Sure, you might pause the music while someone talks to you. But they don’t know that. Take out your earbuds to show that you’re listening. 
  • You never do anything in person. These days, you can order just about anything to your door. But while this is wildly convenient, it cuts you off from the outside world. Don’t let yourself become socially isolated.
  • You force humor when it might not be appropriate. You may want to defuse your anxiety with humor, but it’s not always the best time. Learn to read the room and only use jokes when it makes sense.

The bottom line

It’s normal to experience awkward moments. You might tell the theatre employee to enjoy a movie they’re not going to see or tell a joke that no one laughs at. It happens; cut yourself some slack.

But poor social skills go beyond the occasional blunder. At best, you seem aloof. At worst, outright rude. It’s good to evaluate your social skills and see which ones you can improve to be your best self.

That’s not to say that you can learn to overcome shyness or that you have to be a social butterfly. But it’s nice to know that when you want to strike up a conversation — whether inside or out of work — you’ll feel comfortable doing so.

If you need help, BetterUp is here. We’ll give you the tools you need to learn how to improve your social skills to ease your social discomfort or learn better communication skills. Whatever your best self needs, we can help you find.

1.1. Formation of socialization skills | Material on the topic:

1. Formation of socialization skills

Organization of activities for socialization of pupils in a family-type boarding school is carried out in the following areas:

  1. Creation of an atmosphere of trust, respect;
  2. Formation of knowledge and skills of social interaction
  3. Development of socially acceptable hobbies.
  4. The formation of self-awareness of pupils.
  5. Formation of self-organization skills;
  6. Work for boarding school students is the most important means of socialization.

1. Creation of an atmosphere of trust, respect , unconditional acceptance and love of children by educators. Our students need to feel loved and protected. Negative attitudes towards pupils that cause anxiety, anger, distrust, and hostility of children towards adults and other children are unacceptable.

Newly arrived children should feel that they were expected and welcomed into a boarding family. For this purpose, traditional events are planned: the conversation “Let's get to know each other”, the holidays “Dedication to the pupils of the boarding school”, “Autumn Ball”, the game programs “Igroteka”, “We have fun playing together”. Senior pupils learn outdoor games with kids, organize loud reading of fairy tales. If possible, parents and relatives are invited to events and celebrations.

The boarding school teachers practice individual and group conversations with children and their older brothers and sisters in order to study the individual characteristics of children.

Direction of activity on the assimilation by pupils of their rights and obligations forms knowledge and skills of social interaction and hostel through conversations, hours of communication: "I am a student", boarding school”, dispute “My rights and obligations”.

In our group, special attention is paid to the development of organizational skills, the development of independence through self-government in the group. At the beginning of the academic year, a business game "Elections" is held, we nominate candidates for the Head of the group's asset. The group's asset assists in organizing duty, leisure activities for pupils, resolves conflict situations, organizes patronage over younger pupils, and ensures cleanliness and comfort. They are also the initiators of various events: "Comfort", "Secret Friend", "Knizhkina Hospital"; “Cleanliness is the key to health”, “Show the diary”, “Live the book”.

This is the organization and conduct of various types of rehabilitation and developmental work with children. Educators conduct individual and group forms of work with children during the entire stay at the boarding school. To develop willpower and patience in doing things, educators conduct a series of conversations: “My “I want” and my “must”, “How to cultivate willpower”, group reading “Finished business - walk boldly”.

3. Development of socially acceptable hobbies . In this direction, the emphasis is on the child's own interests, supporting him in socially acceptable hobbies. Motivation for achievement and success is formed. Cognitive, aesthetic, creative needs develop through the implementation of additional education programs and other forms of free inclusion of the child in the diversity of the cultural life of the school. The circles “Magic Brush”, “Beading”, “Sew Itself”, “Green Planet”, “Testoplasty”, “National Sports”, “Football”, “Volleyball”, “Wushu” are especially popular among pupils.


A feature of this direction is the formation of moral consciousness among pupils in unity with the moral behavior of a person as part of nature. The cognitive value of work in this direction is that the circle of knowledge of children about the customs of their people, their culture, lifestyle, history is expanding, which contributes to the accumulation of environmental knowledge, respect for adults, the formation of a sense of pride in their homeland, respect for ancestors, desire be worthy of them. The events “Shagaa”, “City Day”, “Following the footsteps of the snow leopard”, “Following the precepts of the ancestors”, competitions in national sports have become traditional.

Work for the pupils of boarding school is the most important means of socialization. Therefore, life in the boarding school is organized in such a way that the pupils master the skills in various activities. We organize a labor landing within the classroom, educational building, hostel, assigned territory.

Forming skills to prepare for future family adult life; ability to serve themselves and younger sisters and brothers. On holidays and weekends, girls, under the guidance of educators, practice culinary skills. They bake pancakes, cookies, pies. Also, educators teach girls the art of creating comfort, decorating everyday life with the help of needlework. Boys attending the "Carpentry" circle learn the art of artistic woodworking, and the acquired knowledge and skills are put into practice in the boarding school, helping to repair furniture.

An analysis of the results obtained indicates that more than 78% of children have formed the skills of socialization of children over 5 years.


One of the results of

upbringing of children is the level of education of children. As a diagnostic tool, I use the program for diagnosing the upbringing of students, the method of Kapustin N.A. Diagnostics allows to reveal the degree of awareness of moral categories (curiosity, attitude to school, to work, respect for nature) and the formation of the attitude of students to other people.

The results of the study of upbringing according to the method of Kapustin N.A. allow us to draw the following conclusions:

most of the children in my group are at medium levels of independence, have an average level of communication skills, the dynamics of the development of independence increases with the age of children.


Socialization skills in preschool children

2020 has shown us that communication is very important. Not only outside, but also on the scale of one apartment.

First of all, you need to understand that communication is a skill of effective communication. This is the ease in establishing contact, maintaining a conversation, the ability to negotiate and defend one's interests.

Every parent asks the question "when and how to socialize a child?" and “is it possible to compensate for communication skills at home without going to kindergarten?”

Let's figure it out. A child's communication begins at birth. The newborn "reads" the behavior and reactions of the parents. It adapts to them and shows its desires with its behavior. At this age, the only tool a child has is crying. With tears, the child conveys to the parent all his desires, worries, attracts attention. With age, more and more tools for communication appear and the range of interests of the child expands. Of course, a child should receive a number of skills at home. Namely: what is the "correct" way of life should be in the family. How relationships are built between its members, what kind of hierarchy is in the house, the appropriateness of behavior and reactions to situations. This is all the child will embody, including in adulthood. And here it is important to understand the possible consequences of the actions of parents in relation to children or in general in the family. For example, consider several situations.

- If you overly admire the actions of a child and indulge all whims, then this can lead to the fact that he will grow up pampered and capricious, will painfully perceive the lack of adoration from other people;

- If a child is taught that it is important to observe only outward decorum, then in the future he may grow up to be a hypocrite;

- If a child is constantly punished for every wrongdoing or disobedience, then this can lead to a self-perception "I am a difficult child";

- If the child's desire to help ignore or praise someone else, then this can become the basis for the development of envy and self-doubt;

But let's assume that the parents do not make possible mistakes. Will parents, especially in the context of a pandemic and confined spaces, be able to replace their child's communication with a peer and harmoniously develop communication skills?

What a child learns in communication:

  1. Introduce yourself and get to know each other. But how will he learn this with the parents he has known all his life?

  2. Negotiate and play together. How do parents model possible situations and reactions of other children? And even if we imagine that at some point the mother will begin to play the situation, for example, a greedy boy or a bully boy, will the child be able to correctly understand why his beloved mother offends him?

  3. Explain exactly what the child needs and why. Everything is a little simpler here, but just like in the previous case, not all situations can be modeled by parents and show the whole range of possible reactions of their peers.

Let's look at the most popular qualities that parents want to see in their children:

  1. Leadership. The child must learn to take responsibility for the decisions he makes and the people around him. For example, if no one wants to play, it should not be difficult for the child to suggest or organize the game himself. If all the time parents organize games or solve all problems, then the child will be passive. Of course, a child can try to involve his parents in the game, try to show himself, but adults always have a lot of worries, household chores or remote work, and they are not up to games. Then the child becomes invisible to himself.

  2. Work in a group or team. Having learned to work in a group, the child will not be afraid to follow the rules of the game, accept his role and enjoy it. The family is certainly also a group, but a group with already formed rules. A family cannot be different every day - this would lead to a violation of the family model itself.

  3. Emotional intelligence. This skill helps to manage your emotions, avoid neurosis, depression and apathy in time. The spectrum of emotions is wide, and all of them are important: both positive and negative. It is also important to feel them in the right dosage and in the right situational conditions. Will parents be able to correctly model situations and predict how the child will react to them. And keep the line so as not to turn the life of a child into a theater.

There have always been and will always be parents who are against socialization through preschool institutions. They believe that 30-60 minutes of “dosed” society per day in the form of developmental or sports sections is enough for a child to form communication skills. But they do not take into account that children are subject at that moment to the rules of the lesson or the purpose of the lesson and do not have the opportunity for free communication and the exchange of personal experience. Of course, the pandemic has made its own adjustments, fear for the family: no one wants to get sick with an insidious virus.


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