What are socialization skills

What are Social Skills? | SkillsYouNeed

Social skills are the skills we use to communicate and interact with each other, both verbally and non-verbally, through gestures, body language and our personal appearance.

Human beings are sociable creatures and we have developed many ways to communicate our messages, thoughts and feelings with others.

What is said is influenced by both verbal language and the way we use it - tone of voice, volume of speech and the words we choose - as well as by more subtle messages such as body language, gestures and other non-verbal communication methods.

The fact that some people are better 'social interactors' than others has led to detailed investigations into the nature and function of interpersonal interaction.

Developing social skills is about being aware of how we communicate with others, the messages we send and how methods of communication can be improved to make the way we communicate more efficient and effective.

There are distinct advantages to having well developed social skills.

Here are five:

1. More and Better Relationships

Identifying well with individuals leads to more relationships and, at times, friendships.

By developing your social skills you become more charismatic, a desirable trait . People are more interested in charismatic people as charismatic people are (or at least appear to be) more interested in them.

Most people know you cannot advance far in life without strong interpersonal relationships. Focusing on relationships will help you get a job, get promoted and make new friends. Well honed social skills can increase your happiness and satisfaction and give you a better outlook on life.

More relationships can also help to reduce the negative effects of stress and boost your self-esteem.

2. Better Communication

Relating with people and being able to work in large groups naturally develops one's communication skills.

After all, you can not have great social skills without good communication skills and being able to convey one's thoughts and ideas may be the single most important skill that you can develop in life..

3. Greater Efficiency

If you are good with people, you can more easily avoid being with the people you do not like as much as others.

Some people dread social interactions because they do not wish to spend time with individuals who do not have similar interests and viewpoints. It is a lot easier to attend a meeting at work or a party in your personal life if you know at least some of the people who will be there.

If you are in a social situation and do not want to spend time with 'John' because you don't like him or he cannot help you with a particular issue, a good set of social skills will allow you to politely convey that you need to spend time with other people at the get together.

See our pages improving self-esteem and building confidence.

4. Advancing Career Prospects

Most worthwhile jobs have a 'people component' and the most lucrative positions often involve a large amount of time spent interacting with employees, media and colleagues.

It is rare that an individual can remain isolated in their office and still excel in their job. Most organisations are looking for individuals with a particular, tactical, skill set: the ability to work well in a team and to influence and motivate people to get things done.

See our pages: Employability Skills and Transferable Skills for more information about the kind of skills that employers are looking for.

5. Increased Overall Happiness

Getting along and understanding people will help to open many personal and career-related doors.

Having the confidence to start a conversation at a work-related conference may lead to a new job offer with a higher salary. A smile and 'hello' in a social situation may lead to a friendship being formed.

See our pages: Personal Presentation and Emotional Intelligence for more.

Characteristics of Social Skills

Social skills are goal-directed.
Socially skilled behaviours are interrelated in the sense that one person may use more than one kind of behaviour at the same time, for the same goal.
Social skills should be appropriate to the situation of communication. Different social skills will be used for professional and personal communication.
Social skills can be identified as certain types of behaviour whereby an individual can be judged on how socially skilled they are.
Social skills can be taught, practiced and learned.
Social skills should be under the cognitive control of the individual - learning them involves learning when to use particular behaviours, as well as what behaviours to use, or how to use them.

Use the characteristics of social skills to think more about what the term, 'Social Skills' means.

The acknowledgement of social skills in this way leads us to think that social skills can indeed be learnt, usually through practice and experience but also taught.

Develop your Social Skills

As social skills involve effective communication it is useful to further explore the models of communication and understand how effective communication can be encouraged and developed.

We have lots of further information to help with this development, follow the links below for more.

It is generally acknowledged that social skills and character development are more difficult to attain and harder to change when people get older, so the sooner you start, the better.

Take our Interpersonal Skills Self-Assessment to discover your strengths and weaknesses.

Social Skills - Kid Sense Child Development

What are social skills?

Social skills are the skills we use everyday to interact and communicate with others. They include verbal and non-verbal communication, such as speech, gesture, facial expression and body language. A person has strong social skills if they have the knowledge of how to behave in social situations and understand both written and implied rules when communicating with others. Children with a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Pervasive Developmental Disorder (Not Otherwise Specified) and Asperger’s have difficulties with social skills.

Why are social skills important?

Social skills are vital in enabling an individual to have and maintain positive interactions with others. Many of these skills are crucial in making and sustaining friendships. Social interactions do not always run smoothly and an individual needs to be able to implement appropriate strategies, such as conflict resolution when difficulties in interactions arise. It is also important for individuals to have ’empathy’ (i.e. being able to put yourself into someone else’s shoes and recognise their feelings) as it allows them to respond in an understanding and caring way to how others are feeling.

What are the building blocks necessary to develop social skills?

Attention and concentration: Sustained effort, doing activities without distraction and being able to hold that effort long enough to get the task done.
Receptive (understanding) language: Comprehension of language.
Expressive (using) language: The use of language through speech, sign or alternative forms of communication to communicate wants, needs, thoughts and ideas.
Play skills: Voluntary engagement in self motivated activities that are normally associated with pleasure and enjoyment where the activities may be, but are not necessarily, goal oriented.
Pre-language skills: The ways in which we communicate without using words and include things such as gestures, facial expressions, imitation, joint attention and eye-contact.
Self regulation: The ability to obtain, maintain and change one’s emotion, behaviour, attention and activity level appropriate for a task or situation in a socially acceptable manner.
Executive functioning: Higher order reasoning and thinking skills.
Planning and sequencing: The sequential multi-step task or activity performance to achieve a well-defined result.

How can you tell if my child has problems with social skills?

If a child has difficulties with social skills they might:

Use fleeting eye contact, does not consistently use eye contact or stares at you fixedly.
Not be able to take turns when talking to their communication partner.
Struggle with using appropriate body language (e.g. stands too close/far to another person).
Fail to use polite forms of communication (e.g. saying: please, thank-you, hello and good-bye).
Be unable to start and end conversations appropriately.
Interrupt others frequently.
Be unable to maintain a topic of conversation and provides irrelevant comments during a conversation.
Talk ‘at you’ in a conversation as opposed to engaging in a two way conversation ‘with’ you.
Not ask appropriate questions.
Repeat information in conversation and tend to talk about topics of their own interest (e.g. trains, a favourite TV show/person).
Show little or no interest in what the other person has to say.
Fail to understand jokes and language, such as sarcasm, idioms and non-literal information (e.g. ‘This place is a pig sty!’).
Interpret what you say in a very literal way (e. g. when you say “Can you open the door?” the child “yes” without moving to actually open the door).
Talk with unusual speed, stress, rhythm, intonation, pitch and/or tone of voice.
Be unable to understand different tones of voice or read facial cues.
Fail to ask for clarification if they are confused or if the situation is unclear to them.
Struggle to respond appropriately when asked to change their actions.
Tend to disclose (excessively) personal information to unfamiliar people or strangers.
Appear unaware of others and fail to read other people’s feelings based on their verbal and non-verbal cues.
Be unable to respond to teasing, anger, failure and disappointment appropriately.
Be unable to adjust or modify their language appropriately according to the communication situation.
Lack empathy (i.e. is not able to imagine what it is like to be somebody else or in their situation).
Lack imagination.
Appear self-centred.
Fail to understand the consequences of their actions.

What other problems can occur when a child has social skill difficulties?

When a child has social skill difficulties, they might also have difficulties with:

Behaviour: The child’s actions, usually in relation to their environment (e.g. a child may engage in behaviour, such as refusing to go to social events including birthday parties or engage in inappropriate behaviour, such as tugging on a peer’s hair or yelling at someone to get their attention).
Sensory processing: The child may have trouble attending or focusing and have difficulty interpreting information they receive from the environment.
Completing academic work (e.g. the child may misinterpret verbal or written instructions for tasks and/or struggle with imaginative writing).
Receptive (understanding) language: Comprehension of language.
Expressive (using) language: The use of language through speech, sign or alternative forms of communication to communicate wants, needs, thoughts and ideas.
Articulation: Clarity of speech sounds and spoken language.
Fluency: The smoothness or flow with which sounds, syllables, words and phrases are produced when talking.
Voice: The sound that we hear when someone talks which is unique to each person.
Self regulation: The ability to obtain, maintain and change one’s emotion, behaviour, attention and activity level appropriate for a task or situation in a socially acceptable manner.
Executive functioning: Higher order reasoning and thinking skills.

What can be done to improve social skills?

Play with your child to help develop joint attention, turn-taking, shared interests, cooperation and appropriate play with toys.
Emotions: Help the child to understand and display their own emotions and to recognise these emotions in other people.
Empathy: Help the child to understand and recognise how other people are feeling in particular situations.
Social stories: These are stories which are used to teach children specific social skills that they may find difficult to understand or are confusing. The goal of the story is to increase the child’s understanding by describing in detail a specific situation and suggesting an appropriate social response.
Social skill groups: These are groups run with the express purpose of mastering social interaction with others.

What activities can help improve social skills?

Visuals: Make up a poster of rules to remember when starting a conversation (e.g. using a friendly voice, making eye contact, using appropriate greetings, such as ‘hello’).
Role play: Practise playground/party scenarios where the child does not know anybody. Model and create a list of different things you can say:
- To join others who are playing (e.g. “Can I play too?”).
- To introduce yourself (e.g. “Hi my name is ….”).
- To politely negotiate with peers (e.g. “I don’t want that one. Can I have the blue car please?”).
Sing songs, such as ‘If you’re happy and you know it’ to help teach a child about different emotions.
Masks: Make masks together to help improve eye contact.
Turn taking: Play turn taking games (e.g. board games) to encourage a child to say whose turn it is in the game (e.g. “My turn”, “Your turn”).
Games: Play board games with the child. Make sure the child is not always the ‘winner’ so that they learn about ‘losing’ in a game and are able to cope better when this happens with their peers.
Bean bag conversation: Throw a bean bag around a circle and each child takes a turn to contribute to the conversation. Think of different ways to contribute to the conversation (e.g. ask a question, comment on what has been said, add something related to the topic).
Watch and comment: Role play different situations and comment about appropriate and inappropriate attempts of communication (e.g. standing too close or too far from another person, not using appropriate eye contact, interrupting a conversation).

Why should I seek therapy if I notice difficulties with social skills in my child?

Therapeutic intervention to help a child with social skills difficulties is important to:

Help a child to engage appropriately with others during play, conversation and in interactions.
Help a child to develop friendships at school and when accessing out of school activities (e.g. playing sport, attending a group such as Scouts).
Help a child maintain friendships with peers.
Help a child to behave appropriately during interactions with familiar people (e.g. parents, siblings, teachers, family friends) and unfamiliar individuals (e.g. adults and children they may need to engage with during excursions and when visiting places, such as the park or swimming pool).
Assist a child in developing their awareness of social norms and to master specific social skills (e.g. taking turns in a conversation, using appropriate eye contact, verbal reasoning, understanding figurative language).
Develop appropriate social stories to help teach the child about how to respond in specific social situations.
Some children require explicit teaching about how to interact and communicate with others as these skills do not come naturally to them.

If left untreated what can difficulties with social skills lead to?

When children have difficulties with social skills, they might also have difficulties with:

Making new friends.
Maintaining friendships with peers.
Communicating effectively with unfamiliar individuals during situations including asking for assistance in a shop, asking for directions if they are lost and negotiating with someone with whom they have had a disagreement.
Reading/understanding social situations.
Understanding jokes and figurative language during interactions with others, and when watching television shows and movies and reading books.
Coping with failure.

What type of therapy is recommended for social skill difficulties?

If your child has difficulties with social skills, it is recommended they consult a Speech Therapist.

If there are multiple areas of concern (i.e. beyond just social skills) both Occupational Therapy and Speech Therapy may well be recommended to address the functional areas of concern. This is the benefit of choosing Kid Sense provides both Occupational Therapy and Speech Therapy.

Fundamentals of socialization of schoolchildren: socialization at school

What is the socialization of children at school

Some parents and even teachers equate the socialization and development of schoolchildren with communication with each other. But this is a deeper and more multifaceted concept.

Socialization involves communication with people of different ages, races, professions and social status.

To socialize, a child must acquire the skills to interact with different people in different situations. In addition, socialization is the assimilation of a certain system of knowledge, norms and values that allow one to function as a full member of society. nine0005

The socialization of children at school is often quite one-sided. The fact is that for eleven years a schoolchild spends most of the day in the company of the same children, interacts with the same teachers, is within the walls of the same building.

It is more correct to consider school as a part of socialization, but not an obligatory item.

Schoolchildren's socialization factors

A factor is an environment in which socialization takes place. The traditional school is one option. But there are others. nine0006

Simply put, the factors answer the question " where is the child socialized?".

Family

The child interacts with the closest relatives — mother, father, brothers and sisters. Communication with distant relatives - aunts, uncles and others is also counted.

Basic household skills, the ability to resolve conflicts, build a dialogue are laid in the family. How the child behaves depends on the behavior of adults. The younger ones always copy the older ones. It is important to remember this when you want to yell or spank a child, quarrel with your spouse or quarrel with a saleswoman in a store. nine0006

Street

Children, especially preschoolers and primary school children, still spend a lot of time outdoors - they are encouraged to take a walk at least once a day. In the yard and on playgrounds, many situations of interaction with other children and their parents arise - and in this way the foundations of socialization are also laid. The child learns to resolve conflicts and find a common language.

Internet

In adolescence, a child, as a rule, begins to actively use the Internet. Without access to the Internet, it is difficult to keep in touch with classmates and study successfully. nine0006

The peculiarities of the socialization of schoolchildren on the Internet are the anonymity of the Web, on the one hand, and the boundlessness of information and opportunities, on the other. Here you can chat with anyone from the other side of the world - but it is important to remember that it is easy to impersonate anyone on the Internet.

Children learn critical thinking, acquire netiquette skills and learn about what is not available in the real environment. For example, they travel on Google maps or watch a video lecture from Harvard. nine0006

Circles and activities

The lion's share of the socialization of students at school falls on additional sections. Here, children learn to interact in a team that unites a common cause. Sections and circles of interest are important for the socialization of a child who studies outside of school. Extra activities help the homeschooler to make friends, keep in touch and participate in the life of society.

Source: freepik.com

Means of socialization of schoolchildren

Means are the means by which socialization takes place. " nine0024 What is used to immerse a child in society? How does a child learn a system of knowledge, norms and values?

Household skills

First of all, the ability to serve oneself is laid - to eat, wash, comb your hair, brush your teeth, tie your shoelaces, clean the apartment. The older the child, the more freedom and independence he is entitled to. But not only in the "Wishlist" like walking with friends until late, but also in housework - go to the store or walk the dog. nine0006

Elements of spiritual culture

Books, films, monuments, museum exhibits, songs and series - all this introduces the child to the system of values accepted in society. In the process of socialization, school students recognize themselves in the characters of works, find answers to exciting questions, learn to think and reflect, analyze the behavior of characters in situations similar to their own experience.

Education

The level of education in the country is an important condition for the socialization of schoolchildren. The quality of education determines how competitive and full-fledged member of society the child will grow up. In settlements without access to a full-fledged education, the process of socialization is disrupted - the child learns a limited and closed system of values, not being able to develop outside of this framework. nine0006

Communication in the early stages of development

There are cases in science when children grew up in conditions of extreme social isolation and were brought up by animals. Scientists have found that people who lived in isolation from society for the first 3. 5-6 years of life will no longer be able to master the human language, walk straight, meaningfully communicate with other people. This demonstrates how important the early years of a child's life are for a child's development. The way adults communicate with a child directly affects the process of his socialization. nine0006

Methods of encouragement and punishment

Methods of upbringing play an important role in the socialization of younger students.

Encouragement is a method that stimulates the development of a child. It gives a much stronger effect than punishment. Encouragement causes positive emotions, contributes to the formation of self-esteem, discipline, responsibility. For successful socialization, it is important that the student is more often praised than scolded.

What to do if the child studies at home

The opinion that a child at home is deprived of socialization, while in a traditional school children are socialized to the fullest, is erroneous. As we found out, the socialization of a student's personality is the assimilation of a certain system of values and norms during interaction with people of different ages, nationalities, and professions.

In other words, socialization is the whole of life. In order to integrate into society without problems, it is enough for a child in family education to interact with his family, go to circles and sections, walk with friends on the playground and in the yard, visit cultural places, and travel. Just live and get new experience! nine0005

6 successful socialization skills that a child will not receive in school and kindergarten

Socialization, socialization. Parents in recent years rush about with her like mad. Socialization is needed so that the child learns to behave correctly in society and maintain social contacts. Some parents shift it to institutions such as kindergarten and school. It is understood that it is from their peers that the child acquires such valuable skills. This is not true. I will tell you why it is in the family that a child learns to build relationships and masters the only effective way to communicate “I am OK. You are OK." nine0006

1.

Understanding the boundaries of oneself and another person

"The freedom of one person ends where the freedom of another begins." A capacious phrase with which many agree, but its application in practice causes difficulties. If a child does not clean his room, and we strongly insist on this, is this a violation of his boundaries or upholding ours? We need order in the house. If a child experiments with clothes and wears absolutely incompatible things in your opinion, should he make comments? How then to instill in him a sense of beauty? If we don't like a teenager's friends and try to protect him from bad influences, is this a violation of boundaries or concern for others? nine0006

To answer these questions correctly, we put ourselves in the place of a child. Are we going to change something in our room, buy different clothes and look for new friends, because someone close to us doesn't like it? If your answer is "no", then you do not need to demand this from the child. It is to demand. It will be a violation of his boundaries. If your answer is yes, then you yourself first need to decide on an understanding of boundaries. Check if co-dependent relationships have leaked into your family.

Kindergarten and school will not help a child acquire this skill. Moreover, the system, on the contrary, merges the boundaries of one personality with others. Like it or not, the child wakes up early in the morning instead of sleeping. Teaches subjects that he does not want to learn. Communicates with peers with whom he has nothing in common. How can you understand the place of your desires in the system? Therefore, it remains either to abandon the kindergarten, transfer to SO, or raise awareness in the child, for which he does this. Internal restrictions do not break boundaries, unlike external ones. nine0006

2.

Understanding one's needs

Ability to find them behind desires. A child wants a new toy every day - this is desire. Most likely, behind this is the need for attention from adults. The child does not want to go to school. Perhaps he has accumulated fatigue, and behind this desire is the need for rest. Or maybe he doesn’t have relationships in the class. Then it is the need to be accepted among your peers.

Can you imagine a situation in which the teacher asks: “Petya Ivanov, why didn’t you do your homework? Maybe you don’t understand the topic, or something happened in the family?” Perhaps there are such teachers, but not in classes of 30 people and with a load of eight lessons a day. nine0006

If we are attentive to our children and help them understand their true needs, they learn from us. Building their social relationships in the future, it will be easier for them to understand another person. What is important to both of us is what unites us.

3.

The ability to say "no"

Our children do not tell us "no" because they have learned to say no. We just got them. We have lost their attachment to us, and they no longer want to listen to us. But they became attached to their peers. They begin to copy their behavior patterns. nine0006

Kindergarten is inevitable. The lack of critical thinking does not divide the actions of peers into good or bad. It is simply important for a child to be with someone. In adolescence, personal desires are added.

If there was no “no” practice in the family, peers will not hear this “no” either. It's not about the fact that "everyone tries and I want to." It's about the fact that if I don't want, I don't like it, I can refuse

"No, I don't want to run around abandoned garages with everyone else." "No, I'm not going to steal for fun." "No, I don't want to participate in bullying." The ability not to merge with others, but to remain true to yourself and your interests. The fourth point follows smoothly from this. nine0006

4.

First me, then the others

And this is not about egocentrism. It's about resources and their use. "I won't give up my last shirt because I'll be left with nothing. " “I don’t want to hear about your problems right now, because I won’t be able to support. I need help right now."

The ability to stop in time and not give yourself away saves you from burnout, overload and other stressful situations. Living on the edge is not the norm. The norm, when I took care of myself, and from a state of well-being I want and can take care of others. In relation to school, I can’t imagine how you can get this skill. nine0006

5.

Do not compare yourself with others

You will either remain a loser forever, or vice versa, you risk becoming arrogant. At school, five people wrote an essay with "excellent", eight with "good", one person got a deuce. The rest have three. At home: “Last time you got a three for your essay, and this time a four. It is clear that you have worked." Or “Always fives, and today three. Something happened? Do you need help?"

Comparing yourself today with yourself yesterday, you can evaluate your coefficient of effort or level of ability.