Why is sharing important for a child
The Value of Sharing: How to Teach It to Our Children
“Sharing makes you more significant than you are. The more you give to others, the more life you can receive”.
Sharing is a very close topic to us as it is an essential social skill to build healthy, strong relationships and contribute to the well-being and happiness of the collectivity. Let’s discover together the deep meaning of sharing and the importance of teaching this value to our children.
The meaning of sharingThe word share means “to see separated but with someone.” In a broader sense, sharing also means to give to those in need “our diversity” and our resources for everyone’s well-being. So it is a question of putting together one’s ideas or means for a common benefit.
Sharing leads to happiness, thanks to diversity. And isn’t this the basis on which the relationships are based?
Love and friendships are based on sharing, looking at each other despite the different points of view, and the value of mutual help. For this reason, it is essential to teach children the high value that “sharing” takes in everyone’s life and the importance of sharing our tangible or intangible “things” with others.
A world without sharing is unimaginable; families, tribes, villages, and cities would no longer exist. Knowledge would be kept secret and, therefore, not handed down. We would not have passed. Therefore, sharing is so important that it is fundamental.
READ ALSO: HOW TO TEACH KIDS EMPATHY
Mash&Co can help your kids’ sense of sharing through stories the feature mutual help and understanding.
How to teach children the value of sharing?
For the little ones, learning to share their things is the first step to determine the real value of “sharing.” How many times have we noticed children fighting over a toy and repeating, “This is mine!”
Explain to our children the importance of sharing without forcing their behavior and respecting their times even if, and we know it very well, that it is not always easy and immediate to make children understand that a toy or a snack does not belong to us (in a categorical sense) and can be shared instead with someone else.
This process can be facilitated, starting from the behaviors that we do every day as adults. What we do and how we relate to others dramatically affects children’s growth. In fact, as in all the animal kingdoms, the little ones learn how to live and survive in the world from their parents. In our case, small gestures are sufficient to teach kids valuable behaviors.
Teaching sharing is an act of love towards humanity because sharing also means knowing how to create relationships and take care of others’ happiness.
Here is some example that will make our children understand the value of sharing:
• Let’s learn to help who needs most with patience, at the supermarket, in a row, or on the bus while we are sitting;
• Let’s give time to the people we love to share moments, emotions, happiness, and well-being with them;
• Let’s share our things with others. Therefore children will argue less about their toy by learning to lighten the weight of the words “mine” and “yours”;
• Let’s explain to children the importance of sharing feelings, thoughts, opinions with the people we love;
• Let’s help children share their things like snacks, pencil colors in the family between siblings;
• Let’s educate children about the value of things, not to waste and to love and take care of what they have;
• Prepare more significant loads of snacks for our children and ask them to share them in class with others;
• If we know families in hardship, help them invite their children to have lunch with us or organize a collection with other families to help them pay for their children’s meals.
READ ALSO: TEACHING CONSCIOUSNESS TO CHILDREN
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Letizia Grasso, Educationalist
“All grown-ups were children, but few of them remember it” This phrase is engraved on my heart. The child who marvels at small things is always with me. I firmly believe that the school should focus on the self-construction of knowledge through direct contact with the outside world and through life experiences. A school open to life and from life itself learns that therefore teaches to observe every little thing, to wonder, and to ask questions. A school that forms adults who know how to reflect and put into a relationship the mind and heart.”
diversityeducationsharingvalues
What To Know About Sharing For Kids — And Encouraging It
Parenting
by Brianne Hogan
Updated:
Originally Published:
Yusuke Nishizawa/Getty Images
You’re at the playground, and you notice another kid coming toward your little one. They want to play with your child’s sandbox toys. Instead of welcoming the other kid with open arms, your child throws a tantrum. You’re horrified. Who raised this selfish kid? Oh, right. But before you get too down on yourself, it’s important to know that your child’s behavior is normal. Sharing for kids isn’t easy. Young children especially have difficulty sharing — this is a part of the development process. Understanding and accepting this is the first step in helping your little one learn how to share.
Why Sharing Is Important for Kids
Sharing is an important tool in your children’s emotional toolkit. Sharing helps your child to understand that they aren’t the center of the universe. That understanding helps them realize that others have needs and wants, too. The notion also helps your kid to build empathy and trust between them and others.
As a result, they’re able to make and keep friendships, play cooperatively, take turns, and learn how to get along.
Sharing also teaches children how to compromise and negotiate, as well as cope with disappointment. They learn the basics of reciprocity; when we give, we also receive. Sharing helps your child lead a life that includes others.
Why do toddlers not like to share?
Give yourself a break, Mama. Your toddler isn’t a terrible tot because they refuse to share. They just don’t know how. Your baby doesn’t know what it means to share and that others have desires that could clash with their own. They only know what they want, which is “selfish” but also part of babyhood. As they get older, they’ll learn to consider the wishes of others. Sharing’s an exercise that must be taught, which is where you come in.
How to Teach a Child to Share
If your child struggles to share or is learning how to share for the first time, here are some tips to keep in mind.
Demonstrate sharing yourself. Surprise! Children learn a lot from watching you. So, if you want your child to share more, be sure to model that behavior yourself. When doing so, it’s a good idea to make it clear what you’re sharing and why. Otherwise, your little one might not know what it is you’re doing (after all, sharing is a brand new concept for them). For example, you might share a book with a friend and say how good it is to share something that a friend will enjoy.
Point out when others are sharing. When you notice your child’s friend, their sibling, or your partner sharing something, point out what they’re doing and commend them for it. For example, you might say, “Your brother was sharing his toys with you today. That was really kind of him.”
Be complimentary. When you see your child share a toy with her sibling or friend, commend them for it and be specific about why you’re complimenting them on it. Reiterating how positive sharing is and how “good” they are for doing it reinforces the behavior.
You’ll likely find your kid will do it more. For example, “Thank you for sharing your kitchen set with your sister today. You made her happy.”
Regularly do sharing activities with your child. Repetition is key for your child to grasp the benefits of sharing, which is why you should implement fun activities to do together that revolve around sharing. Need ideas? Think art projects in which you easily share paints and other materials, to playing games that involve turn-taking like board games or playing catch.
Use a timer. When children are sharing a toy or an activity, fairness is key when it comes to sharing. So, to make sure none of the children feel slighted or cheated, use a timer to make sure each kid gets an equal amount of time with the item.
When Your Child is Having Difficulty Sharing
Sharing for kids doesn’t always come easy, and that’s okay. It’s important not to get angry at your child or force them to share with threats if they’re experiencing difficulty sharing.
Children love their toys and see them as their prized possessions, so it’s naturally difficult for them to let them go to just anyone. Instead, encourage your child to continue sharing while on their playdates. See them as opportunities for your kid to practice sharing. Continue praising them when they do share and being a sharing person in front of them.
You can also make the item not being shared part of the consequences. For example, if your kids aren’t sharing a toy dinosaur, take the dinosaur away from both of them for a short time. Doing so allows them to sit with the consequences of their behavior and think about what they should change. The hope, of course, is that it doesn’t happen again.
What Are Sharing Activities For Preschoolers
Give your child a chance to practice their sharing with a few activities that will allow your nugget to exercise their empathy.
- Paint a picture together! Roll out a large piece of paper for your children to draw on.
Put the art supplies in a bucket or box so that they have to pass them to one another to make their picture. - Pass the ball. Put your kids in a circle and turn on some music. The children must pass the ball to one another, and when the music stops, the child holding the ball gets to choose another kid to hold the ball and start the rotation again.
- Have a show and tell show. After each child presents their object, have them pass it around for the rest of the kids to see up close. Make sure the item travels in a circle and at the end, it’s given back to the presenting child. Ask the kids how sharing made them feel and how the experience would have been different had they not shared.
- Put on a puppet show. Give each child a puppet and a few items to share, like toys, jewelry, candy, or blankets. They can create a story out of it!
This article was originally published on
Should the child share? 7 recommendations for brothers and sisters
A letter from one mother:
“Hello. One problem worries me: I have two children - a 4-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl. The brother constantly offends his sister, is greedy, does not give toys, he has a favorite car that he drives at home, and so he does not allow her to even sit on it, let alone drive.
I understand that she is now of such an age that she is interested in everything. But how to explain to your son that you need to share with everyone, and not be greedy. After all, at home you explain to him that being greedy is not good, but he still continues to yell: This is mine! Do not touch!
Only I am involved in their upbringing, dad is rarely at home, and does not try to deal with them. Advise how to improve the relationship of children with each other?
Is the child "greedy"? Let's figure it out
Often, parents have an attitude that the child should definitely share his toys, and if he does not, then he is greedy.
Although, when it comes to us adults, it would be strange if someone told us that we should share with other people, for example, our mobile phone, wallet, computer, favorite cup, jewelry, car, or we are greedy!
Sounds funny, doesn't it?
The fact is that for a child his personal toys are the same value as for us - our personal things. He, just like an adult, has the right not to want to share his personal belongings with other people, including members of his family. This right must and is very important to respect.
I don't mean now the situation where you have to share the last piece of cake with your family or share the leftover soup or share other things that are meant for everyone. Now I mean exactly the personal things that are bought, donated to the child, and he has the right to decide how to deal with them.
What about older and younger children in the family?
When parents insist that older children share with younger children toys and other personal things, and even more so favorite ones, this definitely leads to jealousy between them.
The older child is very offended that the mother does not understand his feelings and takes the side of the younger one, taking his need for a toy more seriously than the older child's need to establish his personal boundaries and a sense of ownership.
You need to be calm about the fact that children do not want to share with each other and explain to them that each of them has the right to dispose of their toys as they want:
"This is your brother's toy and he does not want to share it, it is his right. You also have your own toys, you can share them whenever you want and with whom you want.”
Children who are taught to share with everyone and not to say “no” grow into adults who try to please others all the time and everywhere, cannot say “no”, do not know how to defend their interests and often act to their own detriment because they were brought up in such a way that their feelings and needs mean nothing.
Or, on the contrary, by compensating for what was not received in childhood, an adult will be unnecessarily stingy where it is necessary to give and share.
Recommendations for parents with several children in the family
1. In addition to common toys, each of the children must have their own toys.
2. It is desirable that new toys for children be bought at the same time (unless it is timed to coincide with the child's birthday). If something is bought for one, then something of its own (according to interests) is also bought for the other.
3. Each child should have a place in the room for their toys: their own shelf, their own container, their own box or corner.
4. It is necessary to explain to children that they can play together with common toys at any time, but they cannot touch and take each other's toys without asking. Children must learn to respect the other person's property and respect their right to say no.
5. It is important to teach a child how to properly and politely ask another child for permission to play with his toy, or to temporarily switch.
It is also important to teach children to respect rejection.
Say: “Sometimes you don't want to give out your toys either. It happens. You need to be able to respect the desire of another person.
6. If one toy is given to both children and there is always a division around it, help the children come up with some kind of schedule for using this toy: Monday, Wednesday, Friday - one plays as much as he wants, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday - the other . You can hang such a graph on the wall in the children's room (for older children).
Or you can come up with other options, but they must be fair and no one should be offended. No need to make a concession to someone who is younger. Both children have the same right to play with this toy, regardless of age.
In the situation that the mother describes in her letter, we can advise you to buy a similar car for your younger daughter, or instead of a car, something that you can also ride.
7. Never label a child as "greedy", it is very insulting and humiliating. It is as if you are saying to the child: “Not wanting to give another person your favorite thing is shameful and bad.
You should!". Immediately think of yourself in a situation where you are asked to use your phone, computer or wear your favorite clothes. And if you refuse, they will say that you are a dishonorable person.
Conclusions
Be calm and understanding when your children do not want to share toys with each other. This is normal and does not mean that there is something wrong with the children. Each child should have their own personal belongings and the ability to dispose of them at their own discretion.
Children should be taught to ask permission to play with another child's toys, to negotiate, to exchange toys, but also to respect the right of another to refuse. In a word, be polite and respect the boundaries of another person, regardless of his age, gender and other qualities.
We wish you mutual understanding with your child!
P.S. If you liked the article, please share with your friends by clicking on the social media buttons. And, as always, we welcome your comments and questions below.
How to explain to a child that it is necessary to share
Is your child not sharing? Or, defending his "property", swears, fights, takes offense, disgracing you in front of friends and relatives? If you can't handle two toddlers who don't want to share toys, then you need to figure out how to teach your child to share.
Experience of advisers
When a child reaches two years old, or even earlier, parents begin to be interested in the question of how to explain to a child what should be shared, and whether it is worth doing it at all. When a child is still small, he does not share what he likes - he takes everything for himself. And if this is not explained to him, why would he even change his primary desire to the opposite?
So many psychologists believe that there is no need. After all, the child, they say, is the master of his things. And he, no less than an adult, has the right not to share, for example, toys. Well, if you want to impose on him the desire to share against his will, then so be it, remember: do not force him to give in (and how then to understand that you need to share?), do not label him (do not say that not sharing is bad and he is greedy ), do not force (the child does not need to be forced at all - author's note).
What not to do is clear, but what then to do so that the child learns to share? The child is advised to wait until the object to be shared is with another child, and then take it for himself. And it would work if the other child was also waiting. But this does not work out, and a scandal flares up.
How to explain to a child that sharing is the basis of everything?
Before a parent can understand the "how", one must know the "why". Why do people share?
Man is little different from the animal. And this little is its sociality: the unification of people into one whole in order to develop and survive all together, and therefore to each individually. Without this, society would not have been able to survive in primitive times of limited subsistence under the threat of predators, would not have survived protracted wars if its members within the pack did not share the most necessary things with each other. This mutual guarantee made it possible for man, as a species with poor survival on the landscape, to expand its population from two thousand to seven billion individuals and populate the entire planet.
Animals do not share food and therefore cannot unite and develop as a single whole, as a person does. The ability to share is a fundamental skill in the process of a child's socialization, the necessary base that will help him adapt in a team. This is important to understand when wondering how to explain to a child the need to share.
The basis of association is eating together as a satisfaction of a primary basic need. All relationships are based on food. A common table unites, leveling hostility between people, making them a single WE, able to withstand common troubles. Knowing that other tribesmen will share food with him, a person feels a sense of security and safety - this gives strength for development. That is why this question is so important. First of all, you need to learn how to share food. The ability to share something other than food is an added bonus that holds the relationship together.
When a person can be called a person
A child develops according to the role assigned to him by nature. As he grows, his perception of the world around him changes. From focusing on only one mother, he quickly moves to observing environmental conditions and contact with other children. And here, for the first time, his archetypally predetermined behavior manifests itself. Children's "Give!" not a sign of selfishness that must be exterminated, but the natural desire of any living being to be given food and survive.
Such a simple requirement, of course, for a modern child concerns not only food. But the principle of desire remains the same. The child suffices for himself, for himself, not yet able to think about someone outside himself. And here an important task of the parent is to teach the baby to share. In order to be able to grow out of him a social person who knows how to survive in the society of other people, you need to make him feel like a part of the whole and help maintain this sense of community in the future.
So what should be done? How to explain to a child that it is necessary to share, so that he learns to enjoy it? It’s better to start simple: show by example. You can remind him that mom shares with dad, and dad shares with mom. If mom eats something, she will definitely offer dad and share what she has. In turn, dad will always share what he buys and brings home. This happens every day. It's the same with sisters and brothers, grandparents, neighbors and friends - everyone. It is better to give simple examples of how someone asks from whom and gets what they want. And since everyone does this, then the baby needs to learn this, because he is no worse than others.
Prompted by an adult, he first gives what he has a lot of. This needs to be repeated regularly for it to become a habit. At the same time, focus the child's attention on the fact that the one who receives from him is very pleased with this and that the parent is glad that the child has done something nice for another.
And the parent praises the child precisely for this (and not for the fact that he simply gave). By receiving positive feedback, the child will learn to enjoy this simple action.
Gradually, you can move on to start sharing what is more valuable. If the child at the same time begins to doubt or think about whether it is worth giving, then you can remind him how joyful it will be for everyone: the other child, and therefore both himself and the parent. It is important to speak at the same time very benevolently and kindly, without demanding.
Over time, the child will learn to be glad that he can share something - to bring joy to another.
Not everything happens all at once; learning to give will come gradually. Parents need to be patient here. It happens that a child gives from himself and does not receive back: other children do not thank him or do not share in response. Nothing wrong with that. You cannot be responsible for all the children in the kindergarten group or sandbox neighbors.
But you can always answer for yourself and your sense of security and safety. After all, those people who know how to enjoy giving someone something they need feel much happier than those who think only of themselves.
A very useful explanation of how to share is for large families. After all, a large number of scandals at home occur because children do not share among themselves. Later, they will never be able to establish strong relationships and in adulthood they may not even maintain contact, remembering early negative experiences. To prevent this from happening, you need to teach them all together, showing how important it is to give to each other and how it can bring pleasure to everyone in the family.
It is important for parents to devote time to this and, when wondering how to explain to a child that they should share, remember:
« No one will let you be happy while he himself is unhappy. And he will do the right thing ... because you cannot be happy alone "(Yuri Burlan).
