Bedtime routines for 5 year olds

The 4-Step Scientific formula for the Best Bedtime Routine For Kids

Inside: How to build a better bedtime routine for your child that is proven to help kids go to sleep earlier, sleep longer, and have fewer nightly wake-ups.

Sleep is by far the number one issue for parents of young children. Children seem to never sleep, partly because children’s sleep cycles are so different from our own.

There is a lot of research out there on sleep and most of it is messy and hard to understand.

But the one consistent research finding is that having a bedtime routine not only helps make bedtime easier but also helps them sleep longer and better.

Proven Benefits of a Bedtime Routine For Kids

In a large study across several countries, researchers found that having a consistent bedtime routine is directly related to better sleep: Children who had a regular bedtime routine fell asleep faster, had an earlier bedtime, had fewer night wakings, and slept longer than children who did not have a regular bedtime routine!

The relationship between having a bedtime routine and sleep was dose-dependent, meaning that the younger the child was when the routine was started and for each additional night that the bedtime routine was used, the better the quality of sleep for the child.

In other words, the earlier you start and the longer you have a bedtime routine = Better (longer) Sleep for everyone!

The benefits of a good bedtime routine spill over into other aspects of your child’s life as well. Research shows that a consistent bedtime routine benefits parent-child attachment, language development, and emotion and behavioral regulation.

Four (Science-Backed) Tips for A Better Bedtime Routine For Your Child

1. Make Your Bedtime Routine Consistent

Consistency is the number one thing that will improve your child’s sleep.

What steps you do are important — but the most important thing is doing it consistently. Do the steps in the same order and have the same 3 to 4 steps every night. For example, bath, massage, story, and song.

Having a consistent bedtime routine will help when other things in life are not consistent. For example, when you go on vacation or when school begins — if you continue to do the same four things before bed this creates an anchoring point in your child’s day.

An anchor is a moment that your child knows they can count on — a moment of connection with you that they know will be there no matter how crazy life can get.

Visual routine charts help keep kids on track and give them a sense of agency over their days.

Routines also help create predictability. For kids, predictability is so important. More predictability means feeling more secure, which means less stress.

Try these Daily Routine Charts and Cards to help create visual reminders for your child’s bedtime routine –> Daily Routine Printable Charts & Cards.

During your transition to a new routine or at times in your child’s life, they may show more anxiety and resistance at bedtime. Don’t miss the bonus section at the end of this post on what to try when your child has anxiety at bedtime.

2. Start Your Child’s Bedtime Routine at the Right Time (and earlier than you think)

This is probably the second most important step. If you can consistently get your kids down at the right time your bedtime battles will diminish greatly.

So, what is the right time? The American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) issued guidelines based on a review of the research. These guidelines were also endorsed by the American Academy of Pediatricians. Of course, children’s needs vary — which is why there is a range of times here.

In this chart, I’ve used 6:30 am as an example for wake-time so you can see just how early kids need to get to bed.

Has your 3-year-old ever fallen asleep at 5:30 pm and slept through the whole night? If they are no longer taking a nap and they are waking up between 5:30 and 6:30 am, then they will need an early bedtime. You can see why with this chart. (Of course, a growth spurt could also be to blame).

It’s easy to forget that children’s circadian rhythms and sleep needs are completely different from our own. Their needs will fluctuate a bit as they go in and out of growth spurts — but generally, you’ll know if you have a kid at the high or low end of this.

And if you have a kid who resists bedtime and can’t settle, then most likely, they need more sleep than they are currently getting.

Children who get enough sleep have better attention, behavior, learning, memory, emotion regulation, quality of life, and mental and physical health. On the other hand, routinely not getting enough sleep is associated with depression, emotional and mental disorders, diabetes, obesity, hypertension, and self-injuries.

It is important not to underestimate the importance of sleep at all ages. Sleep is crucial for development.

Hormonal changes for puberty begin two to three years before outward changes occur — and only during sleep. Disrupted or poor sleep for 8-year-olds can lead to depression and other issues 4 to 5 years later.

So, how do I choose the right time for my child?

Is your child having problems falling asleep? Then they likely need more sleep. Move their bedtime up by 20 minutes for a week and see what happens. No changes? Move it up by another 20 minutes.

Use the guide above to estimate what time your child may need to go to bed, it may be much earlier than you think. (And relatedly — if you have a picky eater, try moving dinnertime up quite a bit as well. We started eating dinner at 4:30 and my son was stuffing quinoa and black beans tostadas in his mouth! You would never see him do that at 6 pm.)

3. Keep Your Child’s Bedtime Routine Short and Sweet

One thing I often hear from parents who are struggling to get their kids to bed is just how hard they are working at it — “We wind down for an hour of quiet play, then we have a relaxing bath, and then we read, sing a song…” (There is such a thing as trying too hard when it comes to bedtime routines.

Too much of a routine can have the opposite effect and create more anxiousness.

Your bedtime routine, whatever it is, should be short and sweet. The key is consistency. Dr. Jodi Mindell, Ph.D., pediatric sleep researcher, recommends that families chose 3 to 4 activities to do in the same order every night, like bath, massage, reading, and lullabies.

I read many books and research articles about sleep when my son was younger. It is a dense topic and one we don’t know enough about. But one thing I did learn is for children that sleep begets sleep. 

If a child is overtired, they will have a very difficult time settling down for sleep. A child’s “sleep bucket” must be full in order for them to fall asleep easily.

4. What to Include in Your Bedtime Routine

1. Bedtime Bath

Dr. Jodi Mindell says that the more data she sees the more convinced she is that baths are a good component to include in a bedtime routine.

Baths are multi-sensory and affect core body temperature, both of which can be a signal to the body to wind down.

2. Bedtime Massage

In one study, toddlers were either read a story or given a 15-minute massage before bedtime by their parents for one month. The children who were massaged fell asleep faster and engaged in fewer bedtime stall tactics than did the children who were read stories.

The benefits of a nightly massage go beyond bedtime. In that same study when the children were observed during the day, they were more alert, showed greater positive emotions, and were more active than the children whose parents read a bedtime story.

I think massage works in two ways. First, you are helping your child’s relatively immature nervous system to wind down and that leads to better sleep, which leads to a happier and more alert child during the day. But also, you are training your child on how to relax their body. This is such an important skill for emotion regulation.

The Daily Routine Charts and Cards include all the cards you need: bath, relaxation, stories, cuddle time, lullabies, and more! –> Daily Routine Printable Charts & Cards.

3. Bedtime Stories

Reading stories together may be less about better sleep and more about boosting your child’s cognitive development.  I would argue, though, that including a bedtime story as part of your bedtime routine is not only about cognitive and brain development. Whether you read a story or tell a story, that cultural ritual of stories before going to bed becomes a special time for parents and kids to share something together.

Quiet moments are something we need in our busy schedules and sharing a story is a great way to bond. It is also a way to engage your child’s mind before bed — it gives them something to think about as they drift off to sleep. Reading a bedtime story will instill a love of reading in your child and give them a positive habit that can stick with them throughout life.

Here are our Favorite Relaxing Bedtime Stories

Books are listed in order from books for younger kids to books for older kids.

Bedtime (Toddler Tools)Sleepy Little Yoga: A Toddler’s Sleepy Book of YogaDream Animals: A Bedtime JourneyIt’s Time to Sleep, My LoveI’ll See You in the MorningA Book of SleepGood Night, FairiesGood People EverywhereGood Night Yoga: A Pose-by-Pose Bedtime StoryGoodnight Songs: Illustrated by Twelve Award-Winning Picture Book ArtistsA Family of Poems: My Favorite Poetry for Children

4.

Research with premature infants has shown that parent-sung lullabies can increase oxygen levels and decrease measures of stress in both babies and mothers.

In one study, babies in the lullaby condition were able to leave the hospital three days earlier than those in the control condition.

We have been singing to our children for centuries. The is something soothing about lullabies for both the parent and the child.

The Best Bedtime Routine For Kids — The Scientific Formula

That’s it — 4 main components (Bath, Massage, Reading, and Lullaby), and the bedtime routine is done. Here is an example of what it might look like:

Head upstairs together. Give your child a bath (10-15 minutes). Brush teeth. Put on PJs. Lay your child down in the bed and put lotion on them while doing a relaxing massage (10-15 minutes). Read a favorite relaxing storybook. (5 minutes) Turn off the light. Sing a lullaby or two (5 minutes). Goodnight.

All in all that comes to about 30 to 45 minutes. Max– one hour. Once your child realizes they can count on this time and they are getting to bed earlier so their sleep bucket is full, the bedtime routine becomes more streamlined.

Do these four things every night, in the same order, at an earlier bedtime, and with time, your child’s sleep will improve.

More Resources: How and Why to Start a Daily Routine for Your Family

Bonus: What to Try When Your Child Has Anxiety at Bedtime

During the transition to a more consistent routine or at times in your child’s life when they have a lot going on, they may start to resist the routine or have trouble settling down.

Nighttime is a normal time to think about our worries. As parents, we do this too. When the day slows down and we lay down to sleep, sometimes in the quietness, we begin to notice our worries.

The same happens for children too. The difference is, that they may not be able to say, “Hey Mom, I’m stressed.” Instead, they say — “don’t leave,” “stay with me,” and “I can’t sleep. ”

Here are some tips for when your child is having an extra hard time winding down.

1. Add-in Silly-Time

Kids destress through play. Especially silly play. Before bath time, add in a silly running around, hide and seek, and a little crazy time where your kids end up laughing and laughing. Then do a bath, massage, story, and lullaby as usual.

2. Add-in Parent-Special Time

Sometimes kids are feeling disconnected from their parents –especially when they are at school all day and you are at work. After bathtime, add in a 10-minute time when you reconnect. Call it “Our special time” and let your child talk and be an active listener. Some ideas to get the conversation flowing: ask them what the three best parts of their day were and tell them three things you love about them. For more ideas, check out Big Life Journal’s Positivity and Connection Kit (affiliate link).

3. Add-in Progressive Relaxation

This step might take the place of the song or the massage.

I do an abbreviated version of this with my 4-year-old each night. I focus on his arms and legs being heavy and warm, I incorporate a little bit about what he has done that day “Your arms are heavy and warm, no more drawing today, no more playing with Lego. Just resting and growing. Your legs are heavy and warm, they feel relaxed. No more jumping and dancing today time for sleep.”

Here are some free guided relaxation scripts from Green Child Magazine.

4. Change Up Story Time with Dream Starters

As much as I like to say consistency is the most important thing, sometimes kids get caught up in their own imaginations. Talking about what your child can dream about once you turn off the light can help channel their overactive imaginations into a land of dreams.

• Try telling a story together and talk about how it can become a dream. We use these beautiful story starters as prompts.

And Then… Story Starters, Volume OneAnd Then…Story Starters, Volume II

• Try a story app. While I generally try to stay away from digital devices, we have had luck with this app, Moshi Twilight Sleep Stories: Calm Bedtime App.

5. Add in a Snack

Sometimes kids are hungry — especially when they are going through a growth spurt. And low blood sugar can feel a lot like anxiety.

If your child starts asking for a snack, start adding in one preemptively. We do ours after a bath. We bring it upstairs and my son reads to himself while having his snack. Then it’s brush teeth, massage, story, and song.

More Resources: How to RESET your Bedtime Routine when your child is Resisting

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Category: Daily Routines & Family LifeTag: daily routines, parenting, positive parenting

Perfecting Your Child’s Bedtime Routine

Children's Clinical Medical Center of Chita

Sadly, pediatricians are increasingly stating the fact that modern children do not get enough sleep. And the lack of sleep in a child is much more dangerous than the lack of sleep in an adult. Children who sleep significantly less than normal grow more slowly and develop worse than their peers. This is easily explained.

First, growth hormones are produced during sleep.

Secondly, a good sound sleep contributes to a better memorization of previously received information.

Thirdly, general weakness due to lack of sleep makes it difficult to fully assimilate information.

In addition, the immune system is weakened in children with little sleep and the likelihood of developing diseases of the cardiovascular system increases. Sleep-deprived children become nervous, absent-minded, fussy. This applies to all children, regardless of their age: Babies and teenagers alike should sleep well.

Parents are obligated to provide their child with adequate and healthy sleep.

For children, as for adults, the normal amount of sleep is individual. Some kids sleep more, some less. The figures given by doctors are an average. In general, they should strive for. These figures reflect the total amount of sleep per day, that is, taking into account both night sleep and daytime sleep.

- Newborn baby sleeps an average of 18-22 hours a day.
- Baby from 1 to 3 months old sleeps 18-20 hours.
- A 3-4 month old baby can sleep 17-18 hours.
- A 5-6 month old baby must sleep at least 16 hours.
- Baby 7 to 12 months old sleeps 14 to 16 hours a day.
- A child from 1 to 1.5 years old must sleep at least 10-11 hours at night and 3-4 hours during the day. In general, at least 14 hours a day.
- A child from one and a half to 2 years old must sleep at least 10-11 hours at night and 2-3 hours during the day. In general, at least 13 hours a day.
- Child 2 to 3 years old must sleep at least 10-11 hours at night and 2-2.5 hours during the day. In general, at least 12.5 hours a day.
- Children 3-4 years old should sleep at least 10 hours at night and 2 hours during the day. In general, at least 12 hours a day.
- Children 5 to 7 years of age should sleep at least 9-10 hours at night and 1.5-2 hours during the day. In general, at least 10.5-11 hours a day.
- Pupils of elementary school may not sleep during the day. At night, they should sleep at least 9 hours, preferably 10 hours.
- Adolescent needs at least 9 hours of sleep per night.
- high school students should sleep an average of 8 hours per night.

In order for the child to get enough sleep, it is necessary to follow the regimen and put him to bed at the same time. This is especially true for night sleep. Make it a rule to put the child to bed, for example, at 21 o'clock. And never deviate from this rule. Let there be guests in the house, let the child become interested in the game, let the parents have things to do - everything should be postponed for the sake of the child's sleep. If he gets used to going to bed at the same time, nothing will prevent him from relaxing in time and wanting to sleep. No game will seem more attractive to him than a fresh warm bed and a cozy pillow.

2. Preparation for sleep, relaxation, rituals.

In order for the child to fall asleep easily and quickly, already an hour or two before bedtime, he must be in a calm atmosphere. Noisy games, difficult puzzles, intellectual tasks, homework preparation, computer games, watching noisy long movies and cartoons, listening to loud music, etc. - all this should end an hour or two before going to bed. The kid at this time can calmly play with toys or listen to a fairy tale read by his mother. An older child can read by himself, chat with his parents, watch a calm movie. Yes, and not so much time will be left for quiet leisure, because direct preparation for sleep will require a lot of time. It is necessary to take a shower, brush your teeth, straighten the bed, change into pajamas, drink some water, etc. The same actions performed day after day before going to bed become a kind of ritual, the performance of which also helps the child tune in to sleep. And this, in turn, contributes to faster and deeper falling asleep and, as a result, better rest. If, for example, a few sips of water before bedtime suddenly become a habit, do not try to wean your child from it. Let this be your ritual helper. If a child is used to parents reading a fairy tale to him, then he needs to read, regardless of employment.

3. Lightness in the stomach.

The last meal should be 2 hours before bedtime (this does not apply to infants and children who are breastfed). Shortly before bedtime, a child can drink a cup of tea with 1-2 cookies or a glass of kefir, but not with a high-calorie sandwich. Firstly, with ease in the body falls asleep more soundly. Secondly, dense high-calorie snacks before bedtime are bad for the stomach.

4. Comfortable atmosphere in the room.

The room must be well ventilated before putting the child to bed. If the room is dry, after airing it is worth turning on the humidifier and bringing the humidity level to an acceptable level. When the child goes to bed, you need to turn off the light, you can leave a dim nightlight if the baby asks for it. In no case should children be put to bed with the TV turned on or a flickering computer monitor. However, it is impossible to turn on the TV, the overhead light and the sound of the computer speakers even after the child falls asleep. Light noises and light may not wake him up, but they will make the child's sleep superficial, because of this, the body will not get proper rest. If this happens consistently, the child will show signs of sleep deprivation. That is, he seems to be sleeping as much as necessary, but still does not get enough sleep. The reason is the lack of conditions. The room where the child sleeps should be fresh, dark and quiet.

Sleep is very important for a child's normal growth and brain development, and regular lack of sleep can lead to serious illnesses. Create the conditions for your baby to fall asleep and carefully make sure that nothing interferes with his full sleep.

Sleep pattern of a child at different ages

How long does a child need to sleep to be healthy?

Collectively, scientists came to the conclusion that an adult needs to sleep at least 8 hours a day.

This conclusion follows from the very nature of sleep. Remember the structure of sleep: we go through five sleep cycles of about 100 minutes each. Multiplying 100 minutes by 5 and dividing by 60 gives you approximately 8 hours.

Sleep duration directly depends on the person's age. The younger we are, the more sleep we need. WHO (World Health Organization) and sleep scientists recommend following the following recommendations (see table) and unanimously believe that sleep is vital and should not be neglected. Especially the mode of sleep and wakefulness of the child is important for babies.

Age	Number of naps	Total nap time	Sleep time	Total sleep per night
newborns		1-2 hours, every hour		16-19
1-2 months	four	6-7	8-10	15-17
3 months	3-4	5-6	10-11	15-16
4 months	3	4-5	10-11	14-16
5-6 months	2-3	3-4	10-11	14-15
7-8 months	2	3-4	10-11	13-15
9-12 months	2	2-3	11-12	13-14
12 months	1-2	2-3	11-12	13
18 months	one	1. 5-2	11-12	12.5-13
2-3 years	one	1-2	10-11	12
4-5 years	one	one	10-11	12
6-15 years old	0.5-1	one	9-11	10-11
14-18 years old			8-10	8-9
19-64 years old			7-9	eight
Ages 65 and over			7-8	7-8

Let's dwell on this in more detail.

What should be the sleep pattern of a child up to a year old so that he grows up healthy, smart and happy?

In the first months of life, 20 hours of sleep for a child is the norm. It is not necessary to disturb the child's sleep schedule: we should not influence the baby's rest, as this can harm the health of the child, especially at this tender age. The cycles and phases of sleep in babies change from month to month, according to how their brain grows and develops.

Scientists believe that sleep in the first weeks after birth is especially important and is a continuation of the behavior of the child in the fetal state. Therefore, the baby knows for himself when it is time for him to eat and sleep. In the first 2-3 months of his life, if the baby is not bothered by anything, a long rest for him is the norm. Knowing this, parents can begin to form the correct daily routine for their baby from the age of 4 months.

If we recall the data from the table above, it becomes clear that the sleep of an infant and the sleep pattern of a child up to the first year of life differ significantly from each other. What are the differences in sleep by months of a child up to a year of life?

Sleep from 1 to 3 months of life

This period of life is characterized by high sleep duration: from 16 to 19 hours a day. During this period of time, sleep (rest) is just beginning to form, the newborn often wakes up for feeding. This time is very important for the baby, parents need to learn to notice the signs of disturbed sleep, make sure that the baby does not remain active for too long and at the same time try not to wake up before the allotted time. From the 7th week of life, we can let our baby fall asleep on his own.

3 to 6 months of life

At this stage, the number of night feeds is usually reduced. At the age of 6 months, the child may completely refuse to feed at night. The baby forms a day and rest regimen: sleep hours are reduced: daytime sleep up to 3-5 hours, nighttime sleep up to 10-11 hours. It is time for the formation of bedtime rituals: quiet games, bathing, fairy tales and mother's lullabies.

6 to 9 months of life

At the age of 8 months, the baby continues to form consciousness, separation from close relatives, most of all from his mother, begins to upset him. Games (hide-and-seek, peek-a-boo) will help prevent fear for the baby, and you can also place the place of the child’s games next to the parents: let the mother always be in sight. The child is actively developing physically. It is necessary to load the baby with active actions, but not give reasons for stress.

9 to 12 months of life

At this stage, the baby begins to follow the sequence of actions. A little more and the baby will learn to walk, now all his strength goes to the development of this skill, there is a need for sound sleep and recuperation. During this period, the first related problem arises: sleep disturbance. It is necessary to continue the formation of sleep rituals, reduce distractions that can excite the baby even more.

What are the bedtime rituals for your baby?

• ventilate the rooms where the baby sleeps before going to bed;

• remove all toys;

• taking a bath;

• make sure you go to the toilet;

• turn off the light;

• do not forget about hugs and kisses;

• let's sing a lullaby.

As a child grows older, the sleep schedule of the child changes even more: the number of hours of sleep is reduced, including the number of hours of sleep at night. All kids are different, but still it is necessary to keep daytime sleep as long as possible, at least before school.

Parents often turn to pediatricians and neurologists with the question: what to do if the schedule of sleep and wakefulness of a child under one year old cannot be built? Sleep disorders are called: children's behavioral insomnia, which significantly contributes to the deterioration of the quality of life of parents.

Causes of insomnia

Children's behavioral insomnia is the result of misassociations associated with going to bed or misidentification of sleep conditions. We are talking about the right habits to fall asleep in certain conditions (for example, one in a crib) and violation of sleep patterns. For example, when a child does not agree with the place or time for sleeping, and then a lot of unreasonable pretexts begin: “I'm scared alone”, “I want to drink”, “I want to go to the toilet”.

Despite the dissatisfaction of the parents and even punishment, the child goes to bed with them every night. This form of childhood insomnia is interesting in that it does not actually cause direct harm to the child if he is able to get the normative amount of sleep during the day. But parents here suffer to a greater extent - the mothers of such children often have depressive disorders, and family relationships also suffer.

Other forms of insomnia are adaptive insomnia (a reaction to a stressful situation), psychophysiological insomnia (occurs in anxious, emotional, responsible children before an important event for them), insomnia in violation of sleep hygiene (more often occurs in adolescents who lead an evening or night life, spend too much time in bed during the day and go to bed at different times each time).

Often doctors meet with insomnia of a secondary nature, they are directly related to any health problems. For example, atopic dermatitis, which is accompanied by severe itching. And the smaller the child, the more difficult it is for us to suspect that something is bothering the child.

Itching is a kind of equivalent of pain, the child becomes irritable, whiny, it is difficult for him to fall asleep, itching forces the baby to wake up. And we, adults, often do not always pay attention to these manifestations of the disease or underestimate their significance in violating the correct regimen in a child. But statistically, nine out of ten patients with atopic dermatitis have problems sleeping. They are very common, but few people talk about them.

How to help a child with sleep disorders?

At this stage, the number of night feeds is usually reduced. At the age of 6 months, the child may completely refuse to feed at night. The baby forms a day and rest regimen: sleep hours are reduced: daytime sleep up to 3-5 hours, nighttime sleep up to 10-11 hours. It is time for the formation of bedtime rituals: quiet games, bathing, fairy tales and mother's lullabies.

It is necessary to follow the recommendations, the so-called rules of sleep hygiene:

• going to bed and waking up during the week at the same time, regardless of holidays and weekends;

• restriction of any activity in bed other than sleep (reading, watching movies, eating): this can disrupt the association between bed and sleep;

• it is necessary to maintain comfortable conditions in the children's room/sleep area: minimum level of illumination, noise/white noise, moderate air temperature, comfortable mattress, pillow, sleepwear;

• the process of falling asleep should consist of consecutive, daily repeating activities: evening dress, lullaby, reading at night;

• avoid activities that can lead to arousal (watching TV, video games, socializing with peers, physical activity) before bed. You need to remove video games, TV, phone, computer from the child's room;

• if the child still sleeps during the day, it is necessary to limit the time of daytime sleep in the afternoon;

• you should follow the diet: the baby should not go to bed overeaten or hungry;

• Ensuring a sufficient level of physical activity during the day;

• when the morning comes, the child's room should be adequately lit;

• Avoid caffeine (coffee, tea, chocolate) in the afternoon;

• It is advisable to keep a diary of night and daytime sleep: an assessment of daytime activity allows you to identify problems that prevent you from establishing the right regimen and achieving healthy sleep.

When we talk about secondary insomnia, using the example of atopic dermatitis, it is necessary to take into account the recommendations of a pediatrician, an allergist-immunologist, a dermatologist:

• an individual plan for identifying triggers of atopic dermatitis;

• selection of therapy for disease control;

• Action plan for less scratching of the skin: for bathing and moisturizing the child's atopic skin, it is recommended to use special products, such as La Roche-Posay (Gamma Lipikar ).

Conclusion

In conclusion, I would like to remind you that sleep is an obligatory part of our daily rhythm, without which our body cannot exist. The formation of the correct sleep regimen is in our power. The nervous system of a child is very plastic, it adapts to the conditions that we impose on it.

Therefore, even if the baby has problems sleeping, you need to be patient and methodically follow the recommendations for the formation of proper sleep hygiene, sleep habits, a sufficient level of physical activity during wakefulness, a favorable home atmosphere, and, of course, be attentive to manifestations of diseases that the child often cannot tell us about.

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