It funny stories
IT Professionals Shared Their Funniest Stories On The Job — And I Suddenly Feel Like A Tech Whiz
—KrAzYkArL18769
—Orbspiders
—NahualSlim
—gotmilk13531
—10S_NE1
—[deleted]
—FissureKing
—Urthrun
—JMJ1031
—wj_purdue
—all-boxed-up
—deepasfuckbro
—ourstupidearth
"'User: Sure, I'll get onto that right away.' Considering it would normally take a fair amount of time to get her off the phone, I was pleasantly surprised how cool they were. Anyway, fast-forward three days, haven't heard anything, and I get a letter in our internal mail with the word 'screenshot' in big bold writing. I shit you not, they had taken a picture of the computer screen, had it developed, and sent over to my office."
—Faggitnuts
—ask_me_if_Im_lying
"We get there only to discover that everything was hooked up correctly with one exception. The surge protector, instead of plugging it into the wall, she had plugged it into...itself.
Unplugged the surge protector from itself, plugged it into the wall. Boom. Computer turns on.
'Oh, my. I'm so embarrassed.' As she fetches her checkbook, 'Hurry along. Don't tell my husband.'"
—Borsaid
—MattyDienhoff
—[deleted]
—ZenithOfLife
—SenSenSen
"I noticed something very strange right away — there were a BUNCH of folders on the desktop with very odd names. For example, there was a folder called 'I'm thirsty,' another called 'Hungry,' another called 'I love you,' 'Thank you,' etc. These things were all over the desktop.
I double-click on one of them, because I expect that there are files inside...however, there's NOTHING in the folder, BUT WHEN I CLICKED ON THE FOLDER, THE OS X VOICEOVER" FEATURE IMMEDIATELY READ OUT THE NAME OF THE FOLDER 'I'm hungry' (or whichever one I clicked on).
The woman started to cry, literally cry, and I assumed it was because there were no files in the folder.
I was preparing to console her and try to find her files, but she stopped me and thanked me, then explained: This computer was owned by her now-deceased husband, who'd suffered a pretty severe stroke in the last year or so of his life, and to make communicating with his wife easier, he would click on a folder with the phrase he intended to convey.
I'll never for the life of me forget what that woman said to me: She thanked me for 'giving her back her husband's voice.'"
—[deleted]
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
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Funny, Weird, and Downright Crazy Stories From the Help Desk
Funny, Weird, and Downright Crazy Stories From the Help Desk
Some days, working in the IT service management field requires an extra dose of patience.
While a majority of our time is spent supporting easy going users who are sincerely grateful, every once in awhile we’re bound to have a day when customers are annoyingly clueless, unnecessarily demanding, and downright difficult. On those days, nothing helps more than a crazy story or good dose of laughter. So, the team at INVICTA has put together some of our absolute favorite stories shared by customers, employees, partners, and fellow ITSM pros. Bring on the lolz.
The Fort
“There was this one guy on the accounting team who was really strange. One day he set up a blanket and sheets over the top of his cubical because he said his work was super confidential. He did manage payroll and other financials, so although we laughed about his self imposed blanket-fort, it became a normal fixture around the office. One day he never showed up. A few weeks went by and we were notified to clear out his space and repurpose his computer and printer set-up for a another employee.
Much to our surprise he was growing a bunch of small marijuana plants in his cube. He had this crazy lighting and hydroponic set-up. Who knew?!”
The Reboot
“We had a server that rebooted every morning around 4:45am. It happened day after day. Weeks went by. We tried everything. No known software or hardware error could be found. No scheduled tasks or other processes were culprits. Nobody could figure would what might cause it to hang at that specific time. We simply couldn’t find anything wrong with it. One morning, a few help desk staffers were in the office really early, having pulled an all nighter to complete some emergency patching. What do you know… at 4:30am, the cleaning crew started working our floor. Around 4:45, we saw what was happening right before our eyes… a crew member unplugged the server so she could plug in her vacuum! Once she was done cleaning the area she plugged the computer back in. We probably wasted over a hundred hours trying to figure it out over the three month period it was happening.
Crazy!”
The Fiancé
“A new sales rep called in because he was having trouble setting up his new laptop with our password requirements. He kept on telling me he wanted his fiancé’s first and last name in all caps. He was adamant that it would be secure enough (even though it didn’t contain a special character or number, a security requirement we had in place). He must have repeated the name 20 times as I was trying to explain our reasoning behind the requirement. In the end, he got really upset with me because I wouldn’t accommodate him. I firmly stood my ground because it was policy. He yelled some expletives and hung up on me. The fiancé’s name was somewhat unusual, so it caught me off guard when I happened to hear it mentioned on the local news a few weeks later. The broadcaster sadly announced that young lady had been found murdered. An to top it off she had been gruesomely dismembered! Her fiancé was the main suspect. I was so freaked out. He was found guilty and is serving a life sentence.
It gives me the chills just thinking about it.”
The Outage
“It was the last day of the quarter and we normally expect a significant number of orders to come in. We’re always careful to avoid any IT projects, updates, or changes on this day. Well… the power went out in our building and the surrounding blocks downtown for about 35 minutes. The Sales VP was irate. Nobody could get online in the office. He stomped into our desk area and kept on rambling on and on about the importance of our wireless network and if we had simply supplied everyone with access to it that power outage wouldn’t have been so disruptive. When the power went back on he proceeded to email the CEO requesting somebody get fired on our team. I guess he didn’t know that wireless networking also requires electricity. He was fired for poor performance 4 months later. Every time the power goes out we joke about it.”
About INVICTA SOFTWAREEstablished in 2014, INVICTA SOFTWARE is a leading provider of IT service management solutions to small and medium size organizations worldwide.
Focusing on solutions that take the best of ITIL and operational best practices, INVICTA SOFTWARE offers best-of-breed solutions in the areas of asset management, desktop systems management, service desk management, and password reset. With rock solid partnerships, a proven executive team, and a reputation for innovative solutions and affordable technologies, INVICTA SOFTWARE is uniquely poised for exponential growth. Headquartered in San Francisco, INVICTA SOFTWARE continues to expand globally, establishing presence throughout the United States, United Kingdom, and Australia. Visit www.invictasoftware.com for more information.
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Funny stories from medical practice
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Four funny stories that will make you laugh on April Fool's Day
Four funny stories that will make you laugh on April Fool's Day
- Don't test me for Helicobacter bacteria, because of this I divorced my husband! 04/01/2022, Sputnik Kazakhstan
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About suppositories - Your treatment for two weeks did not help me at all, the patient complained to the gynecologist. - It's strange, I prescribed you the best anti-inflammatory suppositories ... And then the doctor was struck by the thought - And how did you take them? - You know, doctor, I hardly chewed them, I had to divide them into several parts. Well, you understand? She took vaginal suppositories like regular pills. By the way, our urologist's patients also love to eat anal suppositories. A liter of mucus- Look how much mucus came out of me in a couple of days! - laying out almost a liter of mucus in a bottle on the table, the patient began to demonstrate not only the quantity, but also the quality of stickiness, as well as the stretching properties of the substance. - Thank you, but so much was not needed, the pulmonologist noted. And I thought to myself: - It's good that I'm not a laboratory assistant! Undress! The patient was a little late, ran into the office and literally accepted the request "Undress".
While the doctor was preparing the device, applying the gel to the sensor, a completely naked man was already lying on the couch. - Wow! After all, today we have an ultrasound of the thyroid gland, - the doctor smiled. - It was enough to take off the top, cover yourself, we will begin the procedure. +74956456601
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Especially for you on April Fool's Day, we have prepared the brightest cases, told by the doctors of the clinic "Alanda". Naturally, we will not disclose the names of patients, strictly observing the confidentiality policy!
You are a doctor!
One day a patient came to our therapist demanding to fix what he thought were "very crooked" legs.
The doctor tried to convince him that she was not a surgeon, but a therapist, and rather this problem is of a genetic nature - at the age of 21, you definitely cannot fix this with pills.
- You are a doctor! You have to heal me! shouted the disgruntled patient.
I had to calm down and redirect to an experienced traumatologist, fortunately, now there are special operations that help such patients.
About candles
- Your treatment for two weeks did not help me at all, the patient complained to the gynecologist.
- Strange, I prescribed you the best anti-inflammatory suppositories… And then the doctor had an idea – How did you take them?
- You know, doctor, I chewed them with difficulty, I had to divide them into several parts.
Well, do you understand? She took vaginal suppositories like regular pills. By the way, the patients of our urologist are also very fond of eating anal suppositories.
Liter of mucus
- Look how much mucus came out of me in a couple of days! - having put almost a liter of mucus in a bottle on the table, the patient began to demonstrate not only the quantity, but also the quality of stickiness, as well as the stretching properties of the substance.
- Thank you, but so much was not needed, the pulmonologist noted. And I thought to myself: - It's good that I'm not a laboratory assistant!
Undress!
The patient was a little late, ran into the office and literally accepted the request "Undress". While the doctor was preparing the apparatus, applying the gel to the sensor, a completely naked man was already lying on the couch.
- Wow! After all, today we have an ultrasound of the thyroid gland, - the doctor smiled. - It was enough to take off the top, cover up, let's start the procedure.
embarrassing and funny stories about meeting celebrities
In the late 00's my family and I visited Paris and stayed at the same hotel as Steve Martin .
We saw him at breakfast, and later my father was lucky to be in the same elevator with him. His father started a conversation with him, said how much he loves his films, but believes that the Pink Panther was a mistake. I was embarrassed when my father recounted their conversation to us, and everything got worse when we later found out that Steve was in Paris right now for the filming of 2 parts of the Pink Panther.
I was walking into a supermarket in Austin when I heard an argument near the entrance right behind me. Turning around, I saw a tall blond man with a naked torso, he was buff and handsome. It was Matthew McConaughey . The supermarket employee asked him to leave the premises because he was without shoes and it was against the rules of the store. I went back to my truck and pulled out a pair of sandals. I didn't let Matthew McConaughey go hungry that day, but I lost a pair of my favorite sandals.
In the mid-90s my father provided Robin Williams pirated software.
My father represented IBM at a stand at some exhibition in Vancouver, he was minding his own business, and then Robin came up to the stand (as it turned out later, a big geek). He was very actively interested, asked his father a lot of questions and, at the mention of the upcoming release of Windows 98, suddenly asked: "You don't speak Japanese?" My dad was surprised and said no. Then Robin said that he was in Japan and bought some illegal software there, Windows and all that, but absolutely everything turned out to be in Japanese. He tried for a long time to understand the programs, but to no avail. The father laughed at the story, promised Robin to get a free version in English, and they exchanged contacts.
One evening I was playing music in the square in the city center. A couple passed me, I looked up and realized that it was Paul McCartney with a lady. I remember saying something like, "What's up, Paul, do you want a cigarette?" He replied: "No thanks, I don't smoke, but maybe a song?".
I started playing "Don't Think Twice" by Bob Dylan and he sat next to me and started singing. On the final chords, he stood up, squeezed my shoulder and said, "Thanks, see you," or something like that. When he was leaving, I started playing the opening notes to "Day Tripper" [a Beatles song], he jokingly shook his finger at me and made a sound like "Hey, this is my song." It was only after a few minutes that I began to realize what had just happened.
Joan Rowling was in my country with a book launch and I won tickets to this event. As a huge Harry Potter fan, I was incredibly excited and excited, but very nervous. When it was my turn to sign the book, she looked directly at me, shook my hand and asked how I was doing. I was so stunned that I didn't have anything to say and instead asked her, "How's the weather in England?" She laughed and replied, "Not bad." I still can't believe I wasted my only meeting with JK Rowling asking her about the weather.
I was at Disneyland with my wife and two sisters and we saw Christian Bale with his family at the entrance to the waterslide. We were a few meters away from him and my sister decided to have some fun. In a low voice, but still audible to those close to her, she said, imitating Batman: "I do not wear hockey protection" [quote from the Dark Knight]. Christian Bale and his family turned around and looked at us. You could tell from his face that he didn't think it was funny.
In the mid-1990s, Steven Spielberg visited the Rhode Island State House while looking for locations to film his film Amistad. My parents decided to go there, hoping to run into him. And indeed, they saw him, my father came up, shook his hand and said: "Stephen, it's so nice to meet you, I just wanted to say that my children and I are big fans of your films. May the force be with you!". Stephen replied: "Actually, George Lucas had it, but I'll pass it on to him.
"
I met Chris Hemsworth at the restaurant where I worked. I often joked that I moved to Australia to find him, and then one day he enters the restaurant with his wife and goes straight to my counter. Naturally, I wanted to seat them in my section so as not to take my eyes off Chris, but he politely asked me to find a quiet place for them. I felt a little sad, but led them to a more secluded part of the restaurant. They couldn't decide which table to sit at and I made a completely stupid joke that they could sit at different tables and share food (the restaurant was very expensive and my boss didn't like that joke at all). They sat down, I, almost fainting from excitement, put a napkin on his knees, and their further dinner passed without incident.
When I was about 8 years old, my family and I went to a Red Sox/Yankees game in Boston, and we ended up within a few rows of Stephen King .
My mom sent me to get his autograph because he only signed for kids. I went up to him and said, "I have no idea who you are, but my mom wants your autograph." Steven laughed, gave me an autograph and said that I was a very sweet child.
I saw Eddie Murphy in the supermarket parking lot, said hello to him and said that I love his films. He smiled, got into the car and started driving away. My dad and I got in the car too, and he pulled out of the parking lot and parked right behind Eddie's car. I asked him what he was doing and he replied: "We just need to go in the same direction." 5 minutes pass and we are still following Eddie's car. I start arguing with my dad, trying to convince him that it looks like we're stalking a Hollywood actor. Here, in the middle of our argument, Eddie Murphy sharply presses on the gas and quickly moves away along the highway. We laughed to tears when we realized that he decided to quickly get rid of us.
