Social skill development in children

Why Social Skills are Important for Child Development

Forming social skills is an integral part of child development. Social skills help children interact with the world around them through relationship development, verbal communication, and body language.  

The right set of social skills will make it easier for a child to make friends, share with their classmates, and cooperate in social environments. Well-developed social skills also lead to improved cognitive abilities and better mental health.  

There are many ways to encourage a child's social skill development. It is important to teach these skills early in life, as these will be the building blocks for social interactions and success in adulthood.   

Keep reading to learn why social skills are important for child development and how to teach these skills.   

Why Are Social Skills Important? 

When it comes to childhood development, there are certain milestones that dictate growth and advancement. Social skills development is valuable to many areas of a child's life.  

Studies show that a lack of social skills can lead to poor outcomes in child development. It can hinder their ability to create relationships, affect their adjustment at school, lead to loneliness, and cause behavioral problems in the future. This is why it is important to instill social skills in children early on in life.  

There are several different social skills that are indicative of child development. These include sharing, cooperating, following directions, using eye contact, use of manners, and understanding personal space. These are useful skills that will allow children to be successful in the social world. 

Children with higher social development can form stronger friendships and are more likely to succeed in their education. Research shows that children with better social competence also benefit in the following areas:  

• Twice as likely to attend post-secondary education  
• More likely to earn a high school diploma  
• Less likely to use illegal substances 

• Less likely to get into trouble with the law  

These are just a few of the ways that a child can benefit from social competence. There are special programs to help enhance social skills and build a strong foundation for success in the future.   

Social Skills in Early Child Development 

At different stages of development, children exhibit different social cues. For each age, there are different child development skills that most children can display. While development can vary depending on one individual child, there are certain milestones that are characteristic of each age.  

Age Two to Three  

At this age, children like to copy others, particularly older children and adults. They enjoy interacting with other kids and get excited when they meet other children. They also display behavior that goes against what they are told to do.  

While the terrible twos can ignite some naughty behavior, closer to the age of three, children become a bit more independent. They can show a range of emotions, including empathy and affection for a friend.  

At this age, they can also express frustration with changes in their daily routine.   

Age Three to Four  

Around ages three to four, children enjoy doing new things. They become more creative with their play and like to role-play as mom and dad. However, they cannot understand the idea of make-believe.  

A child at this age can cooperate with other kids. They can also talk about the things they like and don't like.  

Age Four to Five  

Children age four to five want to appease their friends and begin to copy their friends. They are more likely to follow the rules and show more independence. They can also become demanding in certain situations.  

They are also aware of their gender at this age, and they like to sing and dance. They now understand the concept of make-believe. 

Age Five to Six  

Child development skills from age five to six include being about to follow daily routines, take turns, and understand directions.  

Kids at this age can understand the idea of humor and they can also explain the cause and effect of their feelings. They are also cognizant of their behavior if it might disrupt others in a certain setting. They can speak clearly in most conversations and others can understand what they are saying.  

How to Encourage Children to Develop Social Skills 

There are many ways that parents, caregivers, and educators can aid in child development skills. It is important for the adults in a child's life to be consistent in their teaching, so the child gets a clear understanding of what is expected in a social environment.  

Being a Good Role Model  

Modeling behavior is one of the most effective ways that you can teach your child social skills. During social interaction, use your manners by saying "please" and "thank you." Address others in a polite manner so that your child can see and copy your behavior.  

Be sure to remind the child if they don't use polite language to reinforce good behavior.  

Additionally, talk to the child about the importance of things like teamwork and cooperation. As you do something, talk to your child about why it's important. If everyone cleans up the toys, it's much easier, or helping a friend can make them happy.  

Role-Play With Your Children  

Another effective way to encourage the development of social skills is by role-playing. Create opportunities where you can put those skills into practice.  

You can role-play being at a restaurant and how to ask for something they'd like. You can use arms-length distance to teach a child about personal space and keeping their hands to themselves.   

If you read a story, ask the child what they remember to ensure that they are developing listening skills. Practice eye contact when telling a story. You can talk about how they felt after you've gone through the scenario to make sure they understand why it's important.  

Offer Praise and Positive Reinforcement  

Positive reinforcement is a great way to keep a child encouraged to utilize social skills. Be direct when giving praise by saying phrases like "Thank you for putting away your toys as I asked." These are clear and direct words of reinforcement that show they are following the rules.  

If a child has difficulty following directions, reinforce their listening and operating skills. You can do this by asking your child to do something and giving them immediate praise for having listened and followed the directions.  

Keep practicing this until they become more cooperative.   

Learning Through Playing  

Children learn through listening to others, mimicking behavior, and language. But they also enjoy learning through play. There are a variety of ways that you can incorporate social skills learning through play.  

A kindergarten or daycare setting is a great place for children to interact with other children and put some of their social skills to practice. Here they will face challenges where they need to solve problems, share, resolve conflict, take leadership, and show empathy to others.   

There are many ways that a child can grow and learn in this setting. It is especially helpful because it is outside of the home setting, allowing a child to interact with those outside of their immediate family. This puts them in a challenging new environment to utilize their skills and absorb skills from other kids.   

Special programs can help fine-tune a child's social development in the right environment with support and encouragement.  

Teaching Emotion Regulation and Understanding  

An effective way to teach social skills is to help a child understand the role of emotions. This means helping them understand their own emotions as well as those of others.  

You can use flashcards with faces that display a certain emotion. You can also ask the child to show you a face that represents a certain emotion. 

Talk to the child to ask them to explain what the emotion means and how you can soothe it. For some children, emotion regulation can be difficult, and they will need guidance when they are having intense feelings.   

Additionally, being able to understand others' emotions will teach the child important social skills such as empathy.   

Encouraging Social Skills for Child Development  

While there are many skills that are important for your child to learn, social skills are vital for child development. When teaching a child social skill, remember to model the behavior, teach emotion regulation, offer positive reinforcement, role play, and learn through play. 

With each age comes a different set of social skills to foster child development and help build a successful future for every child.  

Be sure to visit our website for a variety of child development services and resources for teachers and caregivers. 

Social Skills - Kid Sense Child Development

What are social skills?

Social skills are the skills we use everyday to interact and communicate with others. They include verbal and non-verbal communication, such as speech, gesture, facial expression and body language. A person has strong social skills if they have the knowledge of how to behave in social situations and understand both written and implied rules when communicating with others. Children with a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Pervasive Developmental Disorder (Not Otherwise Specified) and Asperger’s have difficulties with social skills.

Why are social skills important?

Social skills are vital in enabling an individual to have and maintain positive interactions with others. Many of these skills are crucial in making and sustaining friendships. Social interactions do not always run smoothly and an individual needs to be able to implement appropriate strategies, such as conflict resolution when difficulties in interactions arise. It is also important for individuals to have ’empathy’ (i.e. being able to put yourself into someone else’s shoes and recognise their feelings) as it allows them to respond in an understanding and caring way to how others are feeling.

What are the building blocks necessary to develop social skills?

• Attention and concentration: Sustained effort, doing activities without distraction and being able to hold that effort long enough to get the task done.
• Receptive (understanding) language: Comprehension of language.
• Expressive (using) language: The use of language through speech, sign or alternative forms of communication to communicate wants, needs, thoughts and ideas.
• Play skills: Voluntary engagement in self motivated activities that are normally associated with pleasure and enjoyment where the activities may be, but are not necessarily, goal oriented.
• Pre-language skills: The ways in which we communicate without using words and include things such as gestures, facial expressions, imitation, joint attention and eye-contact.
• Self regulation: The ability to obtain, maintain and change one’s emotion, behaviour, attention and activity level appropriate for a task or situation in a socially acceptable manner.
• Executive functioning: Higher order reasoning and thinking skills.
• Planning and sequencing: The sequential multi-step task or activity performance to achieve a well-defined result.

How can you tell if my child has problems with social skills?

If a child has difficulties with social skills they might:

• Use fleeting eye contact, does not consistently use eye contact or stares at you fixedly.
• Not be able to take turns when talking to their communication partner.
• Struggle with using appropriate body language (e.g. stands too close/far to another person).
• Fail to use polite forms of communication (e.g. saying: please, thank-you, hello and good-bye).
• Be unable to start and end conversations appropriately.
• Interrupt others frequently.
• Be unable to maintain a topic of conversation and provides irrelevant comments during a conversation.
• Talk ‘at you’ in a conversation as opposed to engaging in a two way conversation ‘with’ you.
• Not ask appropriate questions.
• Repeat information in conversation and tend to talk about topics of their own interest (e.g. trains, a favourite TV show/person).
• Show little or no interest in what the other person has to say.
• Fail to understand jokes and language, such as sarcasm, idioms and non-literal information (e.g. ‘This place is a pig sty!’).
• Interpret what you say in a very literal way (e.g. when you say “Can you open the door?” the child “yes” without moving to actually open the door).
• Talk with unusual speed, stress, rhythm, intonation, pitch and/or tone of voice.
• Be unable to understand different tones of voice or read facial cues.
• Fail to ask for clarification if they are confused or if the situation is unclear to them.
• Struggle to respond appropriately when asked to change their actions.
• Tend to disclose (excessively) personal information to unfamiliar people or strangers.
• Appear unaware of others and fail to read other people’s feelings based on their verbal and non-verbal cues.
• Be unable to respond to teasing, anger, failure and disappointment appropriately.
• Be unable to adjust or modify their language appropriately according to the communication situation.
• Lack empathy (i.e. is not able to imagine what it is like to be somebody else or in their situation).
• Lack imagination.
• Appear self-centred.
• Fail to understand the consequences of their actions.

What other problems can occur when a child has social skill difficulties?

When a child has social skill difficulties, they might also have difficulties with:

• Behaviour: The child’s actions, usually in relation to their environment (e.g. a child may engage in behaviour, such as refusing to go to social events including birthday parties or engage in inappropriate behaviour, such as tugging on a peer’s hair or yelling at someone to get their attention).
• Sensory processing: The child may have trouble attending or focusing and have difficulty interpreting information they receive from the environment.
• Completing academic work (e.g. the child may misinterpret verbal or written instructions for tasks and/or struggle with imaginative writing).
• Receptive (understanding) language: Comprehension of language.
• Expressive (using) language: The use of language through speech, sign or alternative forms of communication to communicate wants, needs, thoughts and ideas.
• Articulation: Clarity of speech sounds and spoken language.
• Fluency: The smoothness or flow with which sounds, syllables, words and phrases are produced when talking.
• Voice: The sound that we hear when someone talks which is unique to each person.
• Self regulation: The ability to obtain, maintain and change one’s emotion, behaviour, attention and activity level appropriate for a task or situation in a socially acceptable manner.
• Executive functioning: Higher order reasoning and thinking skills.

What can be done to improve social skills?

• Play with your child to help develop joint attention, turn-taking, shared interests, cooperation and appropriate play with toys.
• Emotions: Help the child to understand and display their own emotions and to recognise these emotions in other people.
• Empathy: Help the child to understand and recognise how other people are feeling in particular situations.
• Social stories: These are stories which are used to teach children specific social skills that they may find difficult to understand or are confusing. The goal of the story is to increase the child’s understanding by describing in detail a specific situation and suggesting an appropriate social response.
• Social skill groups: These are groups run with the express purpose of mastering social interaction with others.
  

What activities can help improve social skills?

• Visuals: Make up a poster of rules to remember when starting a conversation (e. g. using a friendly voice, making eye contact, using appropriate greetings, such as ‘hello’).
• Role play: Practise playground/party scenarios where the child does not know anybody. Model and create a list of different things you can say:
  • To join others who are playing (e.g. “Can I play too?”).
  • To introduce yourself (e.g. “Hi my name is ….”).
  • To politely negotiate with peers (e.g. “I don’t want that one. Can I have the blue car please?”).
• Sing songs, such as ‘If you’re happy and you know it’ to help teach a child about different emotions.
• Masks: Make masks together to help improve eye contact.
• Turn taking: Play turn taking games (e.g. board games) to encourage a child to say whose turn it is in the game (e.g. “My turn”, “Your turn”).
• Games: Play board games with the child. Make sure the child is not always the ‘winner’ so that they learn about ‘losing’ in a game and are able to cope better when this happens with their peers.
• Bean bag conversation: Throw a bean bag around a circle and each child takes a turn to contribute to the conversation. Think of different ways to contribute to the conversation (e.g. ask a question, comment on what has been said, add something related to the topic).
• Watch and comment: Role play different situations and comment about appropriate and inappropriate attempts of communication (e.g. standing too close or too far from another person, not using appropriate eye contact, interrupting a conversation).

Why should I seek therapy if I notice difficulties with social skills in my child?

Therapeutic intervention to help a child with social skills difficulties is important to:

• Help a child to engage appropriately with others during play, conversation and in interactions.
• Help a child to develop friendships at school and when accessing out of school activities (e.g. playing sport, attending a group such as Scouts).
• Help a child maintain friendships with peers.
• Help a child to behave appropriately during interactions with familiar people (e.g. parents, siblings, teachers, family friends) and unfamiliar individuals (e.g. adults and children they may need to engage with during excursions and when visiting places, such as the park or swimming pool).
• Assist a child in developing their awareness of social norms and to master specific social skills (e.g. taking turns in a conversation, using appropriate eye contact, verbal reasoning, understanding figurative language).
• Develop appropriate social stories to help teach the child about how to respond in specific social situations.
• Some children require explicit teaching about how to interact and communicate with others as these skills do not come naturally to them.

If left untreated what can difficulties with social skills lead to?

When children have difficulties with social skills, they might also have difficulties with:

• Making new friends.
• Maintaining friendships with peers.
• Communicating effectively with unfamiliar individuals during situations including asking for assistance in a shop, asking for directions if they are lost and negotiating with someone with whom they have had a disagreement.
• Reading/understanding social situations.
• Understanding jokes and figurative language during interactions with others, and when watching television shows and movies and reading books.
• Coping with failure.

 What type of therapy is recommended for social skill difficulties?

If your child has difficulties with social skills, it is recommended they consult a Speech Therapist.

If there are multiple areas of concern (i.e. beyond just social skills) both Occupational Therapy and Speech Therapy may well be recommended to address the functional areas of concern. This is the benefit of choosing Kid Sense provides both Occupational Therapy and Speech Therapy.

Social skills of preschoolers - the development of social skills in children

The development of social skills is a necessary point of education. A child with a high degree of socialization will quickly get used to kindergarten, school, any new team; in the future will easily find a job. Social skills have a positive effect on interpersonal relationships - friendship, the ability to cooperate.

Let's figure out what social skills are.

What are social skills and why develop them?

Social skills - a group of skills, abilities that are formed during the interaction of a person with society and affect the quality of communication with people.

Man is a social being: all our talents and aspirations are realized thanks to other members of the group. Others evaluate our actions, approve or condemn our behavior. It is difficult to reach the pinnacle of self-actualization alone.

That is why social skills are important. They should be developed from early childhood and honed throughout life.

Social skills are a reflection of the child's emotional intelligence, to which educators and teachers assign an important role in the process of personality development. Without this group of skills, a smart child will not be able to apply the acquired knowledge in practice: it is not enough to create something outstanding, you need to be able to correctly convey thoughts to the public.

Sometimes people mistakenly believe that social skills relate exclusively to the topic of communication, communication. In fact, skills include many multidirectional aspects: an adequate perception of one's own individuality, the ability to empathize, work in a team, etc.

Why do we need social skills?

1. Regulate the area of ​​interpersonal relationships: the child easily makes new friends, finds like-minded people.
2. Minimize psychological stress: children with developed social skills quickly adapt, do not feel sad due to changes in external circumstances.
3. They form an adequate self-esteem from childhood, which positively affects life achievements and development in adulthood.
4. Social skills cannot be separated from building a successful career: the best specialists must not only understand the profession, but also have high emotional intelligence.

Development of social skills in a child

Social skills need to be developed from preschool age, but older children and even teenagers may well learn to interact with the world.

It is recommended to pay attention to areas of life that bring discomfort to the child, significantly complicate everyday life.

1. Friends, interesting interlocutors: the kid does not know how to join the team, he prefers to sit in the corner while the others play.
2. Verbal difficulties. The child does not understand the rules of conversation, is poorly versed in the formulas of etiquette (when you need to say hello, say goodbye, offer help).
3. Problems with the non-verbal side of communication. Such a baby does not recognize the shades of emotions, it is difficult to understand how others relate to him. Cannot "read" faces and gestures.
4. Does not know the measure in expressing a point of view: too passive or, conversely, aggressive.
5. The child bullies classmates (participates in bullying) or is a victim.

In case of severe moral trauma, one should consult a psychologist: for example, school bullying is a complex problem that children are not able to cope with on their own. The involvement of parents and teachers is required.

In other cases, family members may well be able to help the child develop social skills.

What are the general recommendations?

1. Be patient

Don't push your child to get the job done. Let them take the initiative: for example, do not rush to help during school gatherings, let the baby work on the problem on his own. The same goes for lessons and other activities.

2. Support undertakings

Children's dreams seem trifling to adults, but the initiative turns into a habit over the years and helps to discover new projects, meet people, and experiment.

3. Criticize the right way

When making negative comments, remember the golden rule of criticism: analyze the work, highlighting both positive and negative sides in a polite way. Commenting on the specific actions of the child, and not his personality or appearance - this will lead to problems with self-esteem.

4. The right to choose

It is important for children to feel that their voice is taken into account and influences the course of events. Invite your child to personally choose clothes, books, cartoons. Ask about ideas, plans: “We are going to have a rest together at the weekend. What are your suggestions?

5. Personal space

Make sure that the baby has a place where he can be alone and take a break from talking. Personal things should not be touched: rearrange without prior discussion, read correspondence with friends, check pockets, etc.

Children, noticing the respectful attitude of adults, quickly begin to pay in the same coin; the atmosphere in the family becomes warm and trusting.

What social skills should be developed in a child?

Let's dwell on the main qualities and skills, the development of which is worth paying attention to.

1. The ability to ask, accept and provide help

Without the ability to ask for help, the child will deprive himself of valuable advice; the lack of the ability to accept help will lead to losses, and the inability to provide help will make the baby self-centered.

• Let the child help those in need: for example, a lagging classmate.
• Explain to your child that getting help from friends and teachers is not a shame.
• Show by personal example that mutual help enriches experience: tell how you exchange advice with colleagues, friends.

2. The ability to conduct a conversation and get the right information

Being a good conversationalist is difficult, but the skill is honed over time and brings a lot of benefits.

• Prompt your child for dialogue development options: for example, you can start a conversation with a relevant question, a request for help.
• Do not leave the child in the role of a silent listener: when discussing pressing issues at home, ask the opinion of the baby.
• Support children's public speaking: presentations at school, performances, funny stories surrounded by loved ones will add confidence.

3. Empathy

Empathy is the ability to recognize the emotions of others, put yourself in the place of another person, empathize.

This ability will make the child humane, prudent. How can it be developed?

• Start by recognizing the child's feelings - it is useless to listen to people if the person does not feel personal experiences. Ask your baby: “How do you feel after a quarrel with friends?”, “Do you want to relax today?”
• After conflicts with classmates, ask your child how the children with whom the quarrel may feel now.
• While watching cartoons, reading books, pay your child's attention to the emotional state of the characters.

4. Ability to work in a team

Many children can easily cope with tasks alone, but this is not a reason to refuse to work in a team. It gives the opportunity to exchange ideas and experience, delegate tasks, achieve goals faster and more efficiently.

• If the child does not communicate with members of the team, try to introduce him to another social group: for example, the lack of communication with classmates can be compensated by a circle of interests, where the child will feel calmer.
• Make the family a friendly team in which the child has his own "duties": for example, do housework, remind parents of upcoming events. Any activity related to the well-being of other family members will do.

5. Respect for personal boundaries

The absence of an obsessive desire to interfere in other people's lives is a valuable skill that helps to win people's sympathy.

• Respect the child's personal boundaries: do not enter the nursery unannounced, do not rummage through personal belongings and correspondence, if the matter does not concern the life and safety of the baby.
• If the child violates other people's boundaries (takes toys without permission, asks uncomfortable questions), talk about it in private.

6. Ability to overcome conflict situations

It is difficult to imagine our life without conflicts. The task of the child is to learn how to culturally enter into a discussion, defend his point of view, and not be led by the provocations of his interlocutors.

• Discuss problems that arise calmly, without raising your voice. Do not put pressure on the child with parental authority unnecessarily: the child is a separate person who has the right to an opinion.
• Do not judge people for views that differ from those of your family but do not affect your well-being. Show your child that the world is very different.
• You can demonstrate to children the basics of a civilized dispute, explain what arguments are, etc. It is advisable to teach this child in kindergarten.

7.

Stable and adequate self-esteem is a quality that not all adults possess.

It is formed under the influence of many factors: relationships between parents, the role of the child in the family circle, the characteristics of the environment that surrounded the child in early childhood.

It is important that the child does not grow up to be either a narcissistic narcissist with fragile self-esteem, or an overly shy person. How can you help your child find balance?

• Praise your child for personal progress: to receive a compliment from parents, it is not necessary to win prizes in school competitions. The zeal of the baby, the interest shown and the stamina also deserve praise.
• Explain, remind the children that initially they are worthy of respect and love, like all people around.

Social skills will help in many areas of life: in studies, hobbies, friendships, building a reputation in a team. The main thing is to encourage and support children at all stages.

Emotional intelligence for children

We introduce children to the types of emotions, how to manage them and how to express themselves in teamwork, through situational games

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Development of social skills in children

Development of social skills in children prepares them for favorable interaction in all areas of life. Social skills are an essential part of functioning in society. Demonstrating good manners, communicating effectively with others, being sensitive to the feelings of others, and expressing personal needs are very important components of basic social skills. Helping children develop these important skills requires a range of strategies at each stage of development.