Three pigs song
Rap Song Lyrics and Sound Clip
This song is available Jim Rule's Share This World.
Now everybody knows about the little pigs three
But this time it goes a little differently.
You see I made a couple changes. I set it all to rhyme.
Let’s begin our story,” Once Upon A Time...”
THREE LITTLE PIGS were living large and at home
Til the day mom said, “Yo! I want to be alone!”
Go build your own houses now that you are big.
It’s time for each of you to be an independent pig.”
She told her little piggies, “I think I’d better warn ya......"
The first little pig built a house made of straw.
He didn’t use a hammer and he didn’t use a saw.
He finished in a hurry and he laughed”,HA, HA!
I’m done! I’m done! Now I’ll go and have some fun!”
The second little pig built a house made of twigs......
The third little pig built a house made of bricks .......
Now the piggies all knew never talk to strangers.......
“HOWL! I’m the Big Bad Wolf and I’ve come to town.......
He walked up to the door of piggy number one.......
“Little pig, Little pig, let me come in.”
“Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin”
“Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down.
I’m the Big Bad Wolf and I don’t mess around.
”
So he blew down the straw house in one big breath.......
“Little pig, Little pig......"
So he blew down the twig house in one big breath.......
“Little pig, Little pig......"
But the strong brick house stayed right where it stood.......
Well, he went down the chimney but the piggies really got him.......
He jumped right out the chimney and ran so far away
That nobody’s seen that wolf to this very day.
And the little pigs were famous every where they went
But the third little pig still charged her brothers rent.
I told you she was smart. And now you know the story of
THE THREE LITTLE PIGS Oink! Oink! Oink! Bye Bye!
See more of our Fairy Tale and Rap Song Lyrics
Many thanks to Jim Rule for permission to display these lyrics.
© Jim Rule. All rights reserved. Used with permission.
Lots Of Little Pigs | The Laurie Berkner Band
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Mmmm… Once upon a time there were lots of little pigs
And some of them thought they’d build themselves a straw house
So they built it, they built it big and strong
So the wolves wouldn’t get them (and they shut the door – Ka-chung!)
On the next day some more little pigs decided to build themselves
A stick house.
So they built it – they built it big and strong
So the wolves wouldn’t get them (and they shut the door – Ka-chung!)
On the last day the rest of the little pigs decided to build themselves
A brick house. So they built it – they built it big and strong so the
Wolves wouldn’t get them (and they shut their big brick door- Ka-chung!)
In the meantime, the wolves were sleeping in the forest.
Then the wolves woke up and they stretched a big stretch,
And they sniffed a big sniff, and they said, “I smell pigs!”
So the wolves marched on over to the straw house
And they knock knock knocked on the door
And they said, “Little pigs little pigs, let me in!” And the pigs said,
“Not by the hair on our chinny-chin chins!”
“Then we’ll huff, and we’ll puff, and we’ll blow your house in!”
So they huffed, and they puffed, and they blew that house in
And the pigs ran over to their friends, over at the stick house.
So the wolves marched on over to the brick house
And they knock knock knocked on the door
And they said, “Little pigs little pigs, let us in!” And the pigs said,
“Not by the hair on our chinny-chin chins!”
“Then we’ll huff, and we’ll puff, and we’ll blow your house in!”
So they huffed, and they puffed, So they huffed, and they puffed
And they blew that house in
And the pigs ran over to their friends over at the brick house
So the wolves marched on over to the brick house
And they knock knock knocked on the door
And they said, “Little pigs little pigs, let us in!” And the pigs said,
“Not by the hair on our chinny-chin chins!”
“Then we’ll huff, and we’ll puff, and we’ll blow your house in!”
So they huffed, and they puffed, and they huffed, and they puffed
And they huffed and they puffed but they – oh! Couldn’t blow that house in!
So the wolves went around to the back of the house
And they climbed up the chimney
But the pigs heard them and put a pot of boiling water
Underneath the chimney and the wolves landed in the water
AAAAOOOOOOOHHHHHH!
And they burned their bottoms and they went running back to the woods
Where they cooled off in a lake – ahh! And they looked at each other
And said, “We didn’t want to eat those pigs anyway (not me)
Let’s go back and have a party.
” (okay) So they did.
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Green Jelly - Three Little Pigs lyrics Lie down, children, on the flank.
.. and listen to the story of the three little pigs
and about the terrible gray wolf.
The first pig was a hippie type,
I wanted to go to the city away from the farmer's mugs.
And once he bought a guitar,
Moved to Hollywood to be a rock star
Only he did not know that the city was not a dacha.
Made a house out of straw, that's bad luck.
And once, while he was playing chords,
The big gray wolf knocked on his door.
- Hey, piglet, let me in the house!
- No way! Hit the door with your forehead.
- Well, then I'm like a dunu - and you will become a homeless person!
The second pig was a rastaman,
Ganja smoked, joints and hookah.
Puffed and blew all day long,
But God saves the safe:
He built himself a house out of garbage
From cans of empty and old newspapers.
One day he sits, under Marley bald,
And here is a gray wolf on a huge Harley.
- Hey, piglet, let me in the house!
- No way! Hit the door with your forehead.
- Well, then I'm like a dunu - and you will become a homeless person!
Well, the third pig, an excellent student,
Major, whose father was warmed by glory,
Became an architect, graduated from Harvard,
With knowledge of the matter, he skewed his house.
Three-story mansion at 9 Hollywood Hills0003 Dad helped by digging into the bills.
And now the breaker has rolled the pig huts,
Big gray wolf, eater of pigs.
- Hey, piglet, let me in the house!
- No way! Hit the door with your forehead.
- Well, then I'm like a dunu - and you will become a homeless person!
And then the gray wolf for three days and three nights
He blew with all his might, that there is urine.
And the house, as it stood, remained standing,
Only the insolent laughter of the pigs could be heard.
"He's concrete!" they shouted,0003 And the most courageous at 02 called.
No wonder they spent the phone for the pigs,
They sent Rambo to them as soon as they could.
Rambo:
"Hey, wolf, I'm your worst nightmare, right now I'll kick your ass" And our fairy tale comes to an end,
But if you want to listen for an encore,
This is how the piglets escaped from the wolf:
- Hey, piglet, let me into the house!
- No way! Hit the door with your forehead.
- Well, then I'm like a dunu - and you will become a homeless person!
And the moral of this fable is this: mediocre artists can cut dough from idiots even with a stupid puppet show. Lie down, kids, on the flank...
and listen to a tale about the three little pigs
and worry about the gray wolf.
The first pig was a hippie type,
In a city like away from the farm Khar'kov .
And then once he bought a guitar,
Moved to Hollywood to become a rock-old.
Only he did not know that the city is not a cottage.
House made of straw, that's bad luck.
And one day, while he chords Laba
The big gray wolf at his door knocked.
- Hey, little pig, let me in!
- No, no way! Beysya the door forehead.
- Well, I like tung - and become a bum!
The second pig was Rastafarian,
Smoked ganja, shoals and shisha.
Blaze and blew all day long,
But better safe than sorry :
Built himself a house of garbage
Of empty cans and old newspapers.
One day he was sitting under baldeet Marley,
And then the gray wolf on a huge Harley.
- Hey, little pig, let me in!
- No, no way! Beysya the door forehead.
- Well, I like tung - and become a bum!
But the third pig, honors - student
Major, whose father was warmed glory,
Became an architect, graduated from Harvard,
Knowledgeably skosobochil your home.
A three-storey mansion in the Hollywood Hills,
Dad helped, dug in the accounts.
And pirulil pig huts Shatterer,
The big gray wolf, pig eater.
- Hey, little pig, let me in!
- No, no way! Beysya the door forehead.
- Well, I like tung - and become a bum!
And the gray wolf three days and three nights
Blew with all his strength, that is urine.
A house like standing - so stood ,
Only heard insolent laughter piglets.
"He's concrete!" - They shouted,
And the most valiant in 02 called .
No wonder phone piglets spent
Rambo was sent to them as soon as we could.
Rambo:
" Hey, the Wolf , I'm your worst nightmare , right now kick your ass "
So the wolf came full kapets
And our tale comes to an end,
But if you want to listen to an encore ,
That's how the pigs escaped from the wolf :
- Hey, little pig , let me in!
- No, no way! Beysya the door forehead.
- Well, I like tung - and become a bum!
And the moral of the story is mediocre artists can cut the dough with stupid idiots even a puppet show .
See also:
- Green Jelly - Anarchy in Bedrock
- Green Jelly - Anthem
Dramateshka - Yana Zeltser and Stanislav. Three piglets
Stanislav Zeletseri Henry Malsin
Hryushi
- three pigs -
- Return of the legend -
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CHARACTERS:
2. Nif-Nif -fat piglet -poet, romantic - speaks in pompous verses.
3. Nuf-Nuf - a lanky bespectacled piglet, smart guy, inventor.
4. Head - Head of the pig village.
5. Nafa - Beautiful Pig - the daughter of the Head.
6. Nifa - Beautiful Nafa's twin.
7. Nufa-Triplets Beautiful Nafa and Nifa - all on the same stigma.
8. Piggy-Shi - Japanese old Guinea Pig, pig scientist.
9. Wolf-II-His Grayness - The leader of the wolf pack, the heir of Wolf-I the Flattened!
10. Jackal Shura-Hideman Wolf-II
11. Hryun-1 - stupid pig, member of the Council of Pigs.
12. Khryun-2 - smart pig, member of the Council of Pigs.
13. Khryuny, Khryuni, Khryundi - citizens of Khryuland.
14. Milk pigs.
15. Gray Yoke - Wolves.
VOCAL NUMBERS: (in development)
1. Oratorio "HRYLAND NATIVE"
2. Heroic song "THREE UNEXCHANGEABLE PITTES"
3. Song "IF THE WOLF DOES NOT GIVE UP!"
4. Song-flash mob “SIT-PIG”
5. Sextet “LOVE HEXAGON…”
6. Song-lecture “ABOUT GENETICS” in strong Japanese.
7. Rap-Step “KUS-KLUTS-KLATS”
8. Chorus “Crash of Hopes”
9. Girls’ Choir “FAREWELL, YOU MY GIRLFRIENDS, Oink-Oink…”
10. Glamorous tango "TIRED TEETH"
11. Combat offensive "Smashing Hoof"
12.
Samurai couplet "FOR JAPAN MAMA!" in the song "Smashing Hoof".
13. Spanish castanets "NO PASARAN!"
14. Wedding Final Song "KHRULI-LYULI"
1. PROLOGUE
The light goes out, tender music emerges from the silence, the stars light up in the LED sky, a fabulous picture comes to life, a la "Quiet Ukrainian Night" the moon emerges , more like not a night luminary, but a piggy piglet ... Crickets chirp, they also chirp somehow strangely - grunting ... Suddenly, a glissando of a trumpet with a mute bursts into this night idyll, and the Broadway Big Band with elements of hopak enters in full force ... Everything comes in motion and in a few moments the night replaces the morning. The scene is transformed: green lawns spread, wattle fences rise, houses roll out, a tower with a spinning clock grows. There is a sign on the tower - Village "GREAT PUDDLES". But the villagers themselves woke up. They are all Pigs! But do not think anything like that ... Pig - it sounds proud! After all, we are in the HRYLAND of the last century.
Here's some household stuff hung out on a wattle trough to dry: large, medium, then descending, and the last, quite tiny, with a pacifier. The other one hangs out clothes: huge lace pantaloons with a hole for a tail, an equally large shirt, a large acorn, a three-row bra, socks ending in a hoof. Some Khryundel sets up a sign: "MEDICAL MUD", immediately grunting in a white coat sticks an announcement "CLOSED FOR REGISTRATION", etc. The hard-working, sincere people of Hryulandia have many worries. And everyone has fun! - as they work, they also sing, glorifying the Native Land.
Oratorio "HRYLAND NATIVE"
But the children come running and join the general choir - Pigs - pink milk pigs. At the end of the number, the whole village is assembled. In front of the heels of large Khryunov of a serious look. Everyone is waiting for someone. Here it rushes through the crowd:
“Look, there is the Head, the Head is coming!”.
A huge venerable pig in a fur hat is walking across the hall - a village head.
With difficulty climbing the steps to the stage (shortness of breath of obesity), Head walks in front of the people, putting his hooves behind his back.
HEAD. (to serious grunts) Dear Council of Pigs! (to everyone) Residents of the Great Puddles!
Citizens of Free Oinky! (to the audience) Pigs! I have gathered you in order to tell you the most pleasant news! They are coming to us…
The heroic bugle calls sound.
2. Scene "APPEARING TO THE PEOPLE"
Heroic song "THREE UNEXCHANGEABLE PITTES".
On the screen, in the light of the rising sun, three huge shadows grow from behind a hill (a la "The Elusive Avengers"). It looks like the cowboys from the American Western are riding horses. But here the heroes themselves appear on the slope ... not cowboys, but the Three Little Pigs, though a little matured. They really don't look like ordinary pigs. Rather, they are rich American tourists in dark glasses, starched shorts and Hawaiian shirts (a jock Naf-Naf-in a T-shirt).
The brothers roll shiny plastic suitcases on wheels. The suitcases are full of colored stickers. Still, after their feat, the piglets became so famous that not a day passes without a tour to different ends of the vast Oinkland. Today the Brothers are real stars!
Even the venerable grunts grunt loudly, throw up their hooves, saluting the legendary heroes. The whole village comes running. The people rejoice, glorify the heroes with song and dance. And the Three Little Pigs lyrically sing about how hard it is to bear the burden of fame, even a wolf was much easier to deal with. How exhausting it is to be a star, attend dinner parties, give interviews, endlessly sign autographs on the hooves of fans.
3. Stage "MASTER CLASS"
HEAD. (embracing the brothers) Naf-Naf, Nif-Nif, Nuf-Nuf - you are our inseparable patches! You are our inseparable brothers! You are our legendary heroes! Finally, we got here! The Great Puddles have been waiting for you! Here, pigs! Thanks to these real Heroes, our piglets no longer remember what these terrible wolves look like! (People rejoice).
NAF. (sternly) Well, it's bad that they don't remember...
HEAD. (bewildered) Bad?..
NUF. Not just bad, but very bad!
NAF. Volkanado to know in person!
NIF. All the piglets, understand - the restless wolf does not sleep ...
The brothers each rush to their suitcases, take out inventory. And they sing a song - a lecture, demonstrating exactly how they defeated the Wolf.
NIF. Nuf-Nuf, you have the floor, brother!
Nuf-Nuf unfolds the scheme of a wolf (a la a cow carcass), takes out a telescopic professor's pointer from his breast pocket and demonstrates to the audience the strengths and weaknesses of a predator.
NAF. And how are you here with hoof-to-tooth combat? Are you training?
HEAD. Hoof... what?
Nuf-Nuf explains the essence of this “combat school” in the next verse.
At the same time, Naf-Naf pump is pumping up an inflatable wolf.
NUF.
Hoof-to-tooth combat is a school of survival of an unarmed pig with a wolf armed to the teeth ... more precisely, armed with teeth! Hoof-to-toe combat is our secret development!
Naf-Naf, you have the floor!
NAF. What is there to talk about? Move over, brother...
Naf-Nafraz accelerates and hits the inflatable wolf.
The wolf takes off high above the stage. The people rejoice.
NAF. Here is a grunt from the right, here is a grunt from the left, and this is a blow with a nickel to a nickel! Well, is everyone clear?
PEOPLE. Yes!!!
NAF. No, I didn’t understand something, (to the audience) is it clear to everyone what a hoof-to-tooth fight is?
(viewers answer).
NAF. Well, then practice!
4. Interactive: "FIGHT OF THE SPECTATORS WITH THE INFLATABLE WOLF"
Naf-Naf, accelerates and hits the inflatable wolf with a swing so that it flies into the hall.
A dozen more inflatable wolves are thrown into the hall!
At the end the inflatable wolves are taken away and the Head addresses the Brothers.
5. Scene: DINNER PARTY
HEAD. Yes, the wolves got it from everyone! - Grunt to the right, grunt to the left... Well, it will be for today. Let's have a rest, and tomorrow, when we wake up, so to speak, with a morning session, we will show you our Cherry Orchard! You know, it is beyond all criticism...
NIF. No, no, thanks! It's time for us! We have a strictly scheduled time for visits, they are waiting for us in other places.
NUF. First, to Zheludyovka for the Harvest Festival, and from them to the village of Khryukovo…
NAF. They prepare Kapustnik there in our honor! Your Cherry Orchard, I hope, will not wither until next season, but you can’t miss the Kapustnik!
HEAD. And how do you manage to do it everywhere?
NIF. Our work is such, taking care of everyone is not easy…
NAF. So at work and about dinner we often forget...
HEAD. Oh what am I?! - you are completely tortured! Dear Guests, please…
People enter the house.
Suddenly, a soul-chilling, wolf howl is heard outside the window.
Everyone freezes, listening...
KHRUN-1. You heard?
ALL. (whispering) In...?!
HEAD. (encouragingly) In ... everything is not! It's a draft - the window is open!
The window is closed. Everyone listens, and hearing nothing else, sigh with relief. Everyone is seated at a long laid table. The head sits in the heads, the Brothers - in places of honor in the center, next to them are the venerable pigs and their pigs, then the pigs and unmarried pigs, and they close the table according to the growth of the pigs, which are barely visible, and the smallest only ears stick out above the table.
There are buckets of champagne on the table.
HEAD. Of course, at least we are not the capital of Oinkland, but in the Great Puddles they also know how to receive guests!
Head clapping. She appears in rapid to the accompaniment of a love theme…
- Beautiful Pig! The magnificent beauty floats like a peahen, carrying a trough with a steaming dish.
Naf-Naf rises and looks at the beauty with all his eyes.
NAF. (bewitched) Who's swimming?!..
HRYUN-1. (In the ear of Naf-Naf) Who, that piggy over there? - Aaaa, daughter of the Head! Eh, not his breed ... We have a head, over there - portly pig, fat with milk, and this ... ugh, there’s nothing to look at - thin!
Beautiful Pig puts a trough in front of Naf-Naf and, smiling radiantly, swims backstage. The head immediately claps its hooves again. Immediately, the Beautiful Pig emerges from another backstage, with a steaming trough twice the size. Now Nif-Nif is not able to take his eyes off the beauty. The beautiful Pig puts a trough in front of Nif-Nif and swims backstage. And for the third time, the Head claps its hooves. And again, from the opposite side, the Beautiful Pig emerges. In the hands of the beauty is a huge heavy steaming trough. Now Nuf-Nuf is losing his speechlessness...
Here are all the dishes on the table and the Head, walking along the table, names the dishes.
At every announcement, there are cheers at the table.
HEAD.Twisted potato chips!Smoked apple bites!Truffles stuffed with bran, bran stuffed with truffles! Well, and how could it be without them ... - dumplings with bread! Here - with white, but if someone is on a diet - with black! My favorite is svinegret! And this is especially for the guests of the capital (points to a bucket of champagne) - overseas piggy: (reads the inscription with a pronunciation) Wash it!
HEAD. I would like to raise a glass to our Dear Guests!
Head lifts a bucket, stirs its contents with a bottle of champagne,
takes out a bottle, shakes drops into a bucket ...
HEAD. Well, Heroes, grunt for your health!
Groaning and champing, Head drinks the contents of the bucket to the bottom, wipes the penny with his sleeve, inserts the bottle back into the empty bucket. All those present immediately follow his example.
Suddenly, a wolf howl is heard outside the window again, more terrible than the previous one.
Everyone freezes, listening...
KHRUN-1. You heard?
ALL. (whispering) In...?!
HEAD. (encouragingly) In ... everything is not! It's a draft again!
HRYUN-2. And the window is closed...
HEAD. The window - yes, but the window - no!
Close the window, listen, breathe a sigh of relief.
HEAD. (Knocks, interrupting conversations) So, a moment of attention! Pigs! Our guests will soon be on their way, but we won't let them go until they watch our artistic pig activity.
HEAD. An ensemble of suckling pigs performs - a festive dance: "Squat-Pig". Everybody is dancing!
6. Song-flash mob “SITTING-PIG”
Actors organize a common dance with the audience, a la Duck Dance, which develops into a common frenzied dance. At the end of the dance, the Head, who has been dancing to his heart's content, addresses the audience.
HEAD. Thank you all for the dance.
And who did not dance ... - behaved like a pig!
That is, well done too!
(Brothers) Pigs, I understand that it's time for you, and as they say, on the way to dessert:
Food for pop - "POP-FOOD"!
Head clapping. A beautiful Pig brings a mountain of popcorn on a huge dish with a huge acorn with a candle. The girl puts the dish on the table. Everyone pounces on popcorn. He, like confetti, soars up... But the brothers don't have time for dessert...
NAF.(whispers) Did you see how she looked at me?!..
NEF. (whispering) N-e-ee, she looked at me!
NIF. And who knows what she blinks ... (whispering) she winked at me!
HEAD.(to the brothers) Oh, and why does everything good end so early? Time to say good-bye! It’s a pity, of course, that you won’t stay. Well, at least ... for a month ... for a week, at least one for a day.
NUF. Let's stay!..
NUF. For a week! .. - until the second ...
NAF.
For a month!
ALL. Hooray!
Everyone is going after the popcorn again. Lovely Pig, takes the empty dish,
and clapping his long eyelashes towards the brothers, he leaves, flirtatiously wagging his tail.
NAF. So, brothers, wait for me here, I'll be soon... (runs away after Lovely Pig)
NIF. Wait for me and I'll be back... (runs away after Naf-Naf)
NUF. Don't wait! (runs away after the Brothers)
7. Scene “DREAMS OF LOVE”
Song-Sextet “LOVE HEXAGON…”
(ideas)
Sound love theme The scene is transforming. Huge flowers grow everywhere, turning the stage into a flower thicket. Stars in the sky turn into sparkling hearts (like in the Periscope app). In these heavenly bushes, our heroes roam in search of the Beautiful Pig. First one, then the other, then the third catch up with her and try to confess their love. The girl, in embarrassment, runs away from her suitors among the spreading cranberries.
Her ringing laugh is heard either on the right or on the left. To hide from the suitors, the Beautiful Pig climbs on the highest flower. A huge bee flies up to the flower. She turns around to reveal Naf-Naf's pig snout. On the other hand, the ladybug Nuf-Nuf flies up. And on the third side - the Nif-Nif butterfly. The power of love gave the pigs wings, and they, fluttering over the flower, in a trio of tenors sing to Piggy about their unearthly love. Everyone tries to fly closer to his beloved. The brothers push, buzzing loudly. From the vibrations of their frantic buzzing, Pig also begins to triple. And now three identical Pigs are sitting on the flower. The lovers are divided into pairs and sing three love duets, turning into a powerful sextet. This fantastic idyll is interrupted by a wolf howl, even more terrible than the previous ones. The scene "falls apart": the flowers are blown away, the stars on the screen fade. The scenery returns to the interior of the house. Beautiful Pig (alone again), brushing off her dress, embarrassedly runs away.
The brothers sit on the floor in the middle of the house among the crowd and convulsively pull off their insect costumes.
All the Pigs freeze, trembling, chilling whispers ripple through the crowd:
And then there is a resounding knock on the door…
The STRANGE WANDERER scene
In the next moment, everyone takes off their seats and rushes around the house, trying to hide:
- some under the benches, some under the table - a pot-bellied pig is stuck in the window frame. Most climbs into the closet, causing the closet to swell and fall apart. The head, having not thought of anything better, lies in a trough on the table, and covers itself with others, gluing an acorn with a candle on top. The door, meanwhile, with a terrible creak, unbearably slowly opens ... The doorway is illuminated, a tiny Japanese old man-Guinea Pig is standing on the threshold. Behind the back of the Japanese in the sheath is a samurai sword. Everyone shows up from their hiding places and silently looks at each other.
The old man slowly takes off his wooden sandals on the threshold and enters.
PINK-SHI. Sumimasan, Pig-san!
The head opens first one eye, then the other, then rises and, hesitating, stretches out a hoof in response.
HEAD.
PINK-SHI.
Piggy-Shi, showing unexpected agility, takes out a blade from the sheath behind his back, which turned out to be a Japanese umbrella, and pricks the Head with the point in the hoof, takes out a test tube and shakes a drop of blood from the umbrella for analysis.
PINK-SHI.DNA, however…
HEAD. (rubbing the injection site) I don’t understand anything, who is this?
HRYUN-2. (from hiding) It's the famous pig scientist Piggy-Shi from the Japanese islands!
PINK-SHI. Yes, my sonny is Zamosky! A lot of DNA to fuck - study pigs!
HRYUN-1. This grunt wants to prove to the whole world that you and I are descended from guinea pigs!
Everyone laughs.
PINK-SHI.Ai-yay-yay, Pig-san, not laughing hard and squishing at the utson! Look at everything!
A Japanese man opens his colorful umbrella and, substituting it under a candle, projects an image on the wall (screen). This is the family tree of pigs. At the very top, as in a village portrait, a wedding couple is depicted: a slanting Japanese guinea pig groom and a portly pig bride, similar to our Head.
PICK-SHI. (pointing to the top photo with reverence) Japan mom!
HEAD. Heavenly pigs! Yes, this is my great-grandmother!
Song “JAPANESE PINK-SHI SONG”
In his beautiful Japanese song, the Elder sings about the power of the scientific worldview, about the vicissitudes of fate and about blood issues, which, as we know, are the most confusing questions in the world ...
Honored guest seated at the table. And they serve pop food. The old man, having pinched off a couple of crumbs, quickly falls asleep under his umbrella.
And again there is a knock on the door, no one is afraid anymore.
HEAD. (walking to the door) Well, it's a day today - there is simply no end to the guests! And this, probably, Aunt Hamonia from Catalonia came, she threatened to call in a long time ago, to look at her nieces ...
Everyone laughs in a relaxed way. The head opens. The doorway lights up.
A shabby jackal Shura-Shkura stands on the threshold.
An uninvited guest enters the room, skirting the dumbfounded Head.
SHURA. He removed the hooves, carbonade! (Glancing around the room) You live fat ...
The jackal unfolds the skin scroll and reads out in a nasty voice.
SHURA. The Supreme Decree of His Grey, Emperor Wolf-II!
The Great Invincible Gray Igo has come to Oinky! In order to avoid unnecessary sacrifices, the swine people are ordered every morning at sunrise to deliver the youngest, most beautiful, most appetizing pig to the wolf camp at the edge of the forest.
Tomorrow is the turn of the Great Puddles. In case of disobedience, the whole village will be gnawed for one night!
With a sly chuckle, the Jackal leaves.
HEAD. (breaking the painful silence) Dear brothers and sisters, children and grandchildren! - Hryundi khryundeli, and khryundelata! Our situation is almost hopeless ... almost ... (inspired) Because as long as our heroes, our Three Little Pigs, are with us, we have nothing to fear! They will save us! After all, it’s true, heroes, you won’t let the wolves desecrate our native Oinkland? (Piglets nod.)
We transfer our destinies to your heroic hooves! Take command of the volunteer pig army, which we will assemble immediately. And the General Staff will be located here, in my house.
The table is hurriedly cleared. The head lays out a map of Oinkland on the table, gives Our Heroes a large school compass pencil in their hands.
NAF. (pokes at the map) So the wolves are here now?
NUF.
(transferring his hoof to the other side of the map) Here! I propose to strike at once in three directions!
NIF. Wow, and we'll give them heat! As the song says: And the wolf runs, runs, runs! .. I propose to call the operation "Striking Hoof"!
NAF. Good point, brother! My hooves are itchy!
Naf-Naf throws some air hooks. Everyone looks at the brothers with admiration.
NUF. Further developments of the General Staff will be carried out in conditions of the strictest secrecy!
HEAD. Did you hear? - in the strictest secrecy! I ask everyone to disperse immediately, let's not interfere with our generals to prepare a counteroffensive plan!
The brothers lean over the map, measuring with compasses and plotting the directions of the main attack. Everyone disperses. But as soon as the door closes and the brothers are left alone, they begin to rush around the room with a terrible squeal, showering each other with mutual accusations.
NAF. Everything! We're done!
NIF. Our song is sung...
NAF. It's all your fault!
NUF. Why is it me?
NAF. And who suggested going to the Great Puddles? (mimics) We haven't been there yet, they'll feed us well there...Nif confirm!
NIF. (in prostration) And then silence...
NUF. We could have eaten and left right away, but who said, - (mimics) we will stay for a month? Nif confirm!
NIF. (in prostration) To forget, to die, to fall asleep...
NAF and NUF. Brother, what's wrong with you? Wake up!
NIF. Or is it necessary to resist?..
NAF. (shaking Nif) What resistance? - You gotta hustle!
NUF. By suitcases!
The brothers are running around the house, hastily throwing things into suitcases, when suddenly a thin voice is heard ...
PINK-SHI. Poro-syan, and Poro-syan, sumimasan!
. Everyone just forgot about him. The brothers drop their suitcases and again lean over the map with a smart look.
And the Japanese also approaches the map, climbs onto a chair next to the pigs and begins to study something on it, measure it out, muttering and giggling in Japanese. The brothers, exchanging glances, leave the strange grandfather at the map, while they tiptoe their suitcases to the exit ...
ZTM.
8. Scene "GRAY IGO"
REP-STEP song "KUS-KLUTS-KLATS"
Wolf's lair. Torches are burning. On the screen and on the stage, there are countless military wolves in eclectic outfits: a la barbarian Vikings, plus something that vaguely resembles the attributes of the SS division "Dead Head". They sing a song, beating the steps with their teeth and claws: “Kus-kluts-klats.” The wolves sing that the arrogant pigs are snickering, and they, strong and brave, are suffering from hunger, and they must immediately go to the village and gnaw through everyone. “The wolves are full - the pigs are eaten! Novot leaves the tent of the soloist - the Wise Leader, His Grayness - Wolf-II, the son of Wolf-I, that same Big Wolf, crushed by the house.
The wolves line up at attention. The emperor walks along the line, leaning on a heavy cane.
WOLF. I heard someone was going to visit the pigs?
WOLF-1. Eat hunting!
VOLK-2. We want pigs... shall we chew grass?
VOLK-3. What are we waiting for? - Feet feed the wolf!
WOLF. You are right - the legs feed the wolf! But not the wolf's legs, cretins! - but the pig's!
Pork! Is it clear to you? (fighters growl with lust)
WOLF-1. Fatty...
VOLK-2. Fresh...
VOLK-3. Delicious...
VOLK-1. Your Grey, let's go to the village!
WOLF. What? - To the village?! Forgotten the fate of my dad! It was the Great Wolf, an ideological fighter for a full stomach. So what? - chased three unfortunate piglets and as a result was corny crushed by a house? - Stupid senseless death! No, the fate of my father does not suit me. We'll go the other way!
VOLK-1. What other way? Catch up, grab the pig by the throat - and all the way! (The wolves laugh)
Wolf lowers his cane on the insolent paw.
He grabs the bruise, spins and howls in pain.
VOLK-2. (mournfully) They snickered, Your Grayness, they stopped being afraid of us at all...
WOLF-3. (mournfully) They praise the Three Little Pigs...
WOLF. Listen, you thugs! Stop running around looking for food. We wolves are the superior race! Everyone else in this world is our food!
WOLVES. Yes!
WOLF. There is only a little left - to accustom pigs to this brilliant idea. Let the food meekly go into our mouths!
WOLVES. Yes!
WOLF. And I will still find these insolent people, these Three Little Pigs, and I will take terrible revenge! I myself, with these fangs, will tear their throats.
WOLVES. Great-oo-oo-oo Emperor-oo-oo-oo Wolf-oo-oo-oo Second-oo, hooray!
WOLF. I pledge allegiance to the Great Gray Cause! Bring in the Holy Relic!
Under the battle of tom-toms, wolves take out of the ark dried, like a cactus in a herbarium, a flattened wolf's tail.
WOLF. Repeat after me: Under the sacred papa's tail!
WOLVES. Under the sacred papa's tail!
WOLF. I swear, not sparing my stomach, to fight for a full stomach!
WOLVES. Fight for a full stomach!
WOLF. And those who burst from gluttony, the Pope will take with him to Volkava!
WOLVES. In Volkava-u-u-u-u-u!!!
Wild dances of wolves under the moon. Everything will be decided tomorrow!
Hungry, but happy, in anticipation of the feast, the wolves fall asleep.
9. Scene "SHAME ON THE HEROES..."
And again the yard in the Head's house. The door opens, the Brothers sneak out of the house and roll their suitcases to the gate, but behind it are full of villagers who are waiting for the decision of the General Staff. But in fact, they are simply afraid to move far from home, where their defenders are. The brothers, without saying a word, turn around and go around the house on the other side, hoping to leave the gardens.
There seems to be no one... Suddenly the wattle fence falls, collapsing under the weight of the pigs hanging on it. An awkward pause. Suitable Head:
HEAD. (surprised) Where are you going?
NAF. Yes, we are here ...
NUF. We study the landscape…
NIF. ... So that it doesn’t work out, like in a song, - It was smooth on paper, but they forgot about the ravines ...
HEAD. (Looking at the suitcases, and stern in his eyes) Yeah, that means, like in a song ... paper-ravines, that means ... With you all clear!
The piglets, unable to withstand the stern gaze of the Head, start roaring.
NAF. (through crying) Uncle Pigs, please let us go! No we are not heroes-and-and!
HRYUN-1. But you defeated the wolf!
NIF. (through crying) It's not us-s-s-s! We are not to blame. It is he himself…
NUF. We were hiding in the house, the wolf blew, the house fell, and it was flattened-oh-oh-oh!
NAF. We haven't had our own house since then…
NIF.
So that the wolves do not find out our address, they do not take revenge.
NAF. So we go from village to village, hiding, deceiving...
HEAD. Cowards and deceivers... Get out!
Crash of Hope Choir
Piglets, head down, roll suitcases to the gate. Everyone silently follows them with their eyes.
HEAD. But they are right about one thing: - The pig that can defeat the wolf has not yet been born ...
Murmuring begins among the pigs.
HEAD.Quiet! In order to save the people, we have no choice but to choose a victim for the wolves - the most beautiful among pigs ...
A beautiful pig comes forward.
PIG. I will go!
HEAD. But you're not the most beautiful... or rather, not at all beautiful - a little piglet, big eyes, not at all like a pig's... there is a waistband...
PARENTS. Everyone knows that there is no one more beautiful than yours in the village…
The head, not hiding sorrowful tears, leaves.
The crowd also disperses.
After standing for a while, the Beautiful Pig also leaves. The Three Little Pigs watch this scene from a distance.
NAF. Brothers, I can't live like this anymore. Farewell! (leaves)
NUF. (to Nifu) I can't either. Farewell, brother!
NIF. (to himself) What can I do? I can not! Farewell, brothers...
The piglets go in different directions.
10. Scene "FIRST VICTIMS"
Foggy morning.
Beautiful Pig, with a wreath on her head, says goodbye to her friends. They dress her up as a bride, put on a veil, in a stylized folk dance, and sing.
Girls' choir "FAREWELL, YOU MY GIRLFRIENDS, Oink-Oink..."
A girl is crossing the bridge. Friends hide away. It gets evening fast. Scary trees grow around the girl. Bonfires are already visible in the distance.
11. Scene "IN THE LAIR"
Beautiful Pig finds herself in a wolf's den. The wolves meet the beauty, clattering their teeth and dancing their notorious “Kus-klutz-clack” with impatience.
Licking their lips, they can hardly restrain themselves so as not to attack.
VOLK-1. Cutie! So I would take and swallow you whole...
WOLF-2. Go, I'll introduce you to my teeth...
WOLF-3. Oh, I can't, I'll choke on saliva...
SHURA-SKURA. And slam everyone's mouths! Forgot the law? The right of the first bite belongs to the leader of the pack?
WOLVES. Wu-u-u-u-u!!!
Shura-Skin escorts Pig to the royal tent, throws back the canopy in front of the captive, she enters. The jackal stands guard at the entrance. The wolves are impatiently spinning around the tent. The tent unfolds, revealing the interior. His Grayness, Wolf II meets the girl in an atmosphere of bourgeois luxury: Carpets, morocco pillows, a hookah, a gramophone, stylized paintings on the walls: “The Gray Wolf on Ivan Tsarevich”, portraits of ancestors ... The owner is dressed in homemade, but with a gloss: Bathrobe, silk scarf, gilded slippers with turned-up toes, mesh on the head.
WOLF. (Lifting Pig's veil) Oh, most tender, oh, most appetizing creature, your pink piglet awakens long-forgotten desires in me ... But, why are you trembling, are you afraid? (Pig nods) In vain, you have nothing to fear here, you are the guest of the Great Emperor Wolf II! For you - just Vovchik! Or maybe you're afraid of me? What nonsense, really, I am well brought up. By the way, I have a medical education - a forest orderly, yes! And my aunt is a famous director, here is her portrait, Volchek, have you heard? ..
Help yourself! (The owner puts a dish of fruit in front of the girl and turns on the gramophone) "... Tired teeth, tenderly said goodbye to meat ..." (The owner invites the captive to dance).
WOLF. So don't be afraid, you know, the latest scientific studies have shown that fear has a negative effect on the chemical composition of food, and I try to stick to a healthy diet ... By the way, there is a suggestion!
(The wolf stops the music).
Maybe I even, probably, maybe, let you go home, dear girl... if you tell me where some Three Little Pigs are hiding, those three impudent snouts... hmm... sorry, I've been looking for a very long time... to get an autograph, Because I'm a big fan of theirs. Do you know where they are? (Pig shakes his head negatively) And you don’t even know who we are talking about? (Pig shakes his head) What a pity, well, then ... let's get started!
The wolf takes off his camouflage: robe, net, slippers... and remains in what the she-wolf gave birth - in a gray skin. Baring his fangs, he rushes at the girl. Suddenly a gust of wind blows out the candelabra, it becomes dark, a roar and the sound of falling objects are heard ...
ZTM.
WOLF. (disappointed voice in the darkness) Well, what is it?! ... Here are the shameful wolves ... Shura-Skin, to me!
SHURA. (running in with a torch) This second, Your Grey! Now let's clean everything up, light a candle, hold it, if anything .
..
Jackal, demonstrating lackey devotion, picks up and lights the candelabra, quickly wipes and puts in place other fallen furnishings.
A captive in a veil is standing in the same place where everything stopped...
WOLF. (to Shura) Get out of here!
The wolf fussily puts on a dressing gown, puts his paws into slippers, crookedly pulls a net over his head. With paws trembling with excitement, he changes the record, dropping it a couple of times
and scratching the vinyl with a needle. Awkwardly starts the gramophone. The tango is playing again.
"... I got a little crunch, it was the bones that cracked when my teeth started to chew you...".
WOLF. So, where did we stop? .. (The wolf again takes the Pig by the waist).
“…at…at…at…” - the record stuck.
WOLF (confused). Yes, what is this happening today ... (Pig) And with you too ... something happened ..
. Where is the waist, where is the sirloin, what kind of biceps? Come on, open your face ...
Wolf lifts the veil…
WOLF. Ltd! Who are you?
NAF. Naf-naf! Hello!
WOLF. Hello… Where is Pig?..
NAF. Gone!
WOLF. And ku ... (The Emperor gets a hoof in the eye, and yells in flight) Substitution-ah-ah-ah-ah!!!
Guards run into the tent, surround Naf-Naf, but with a deft movement, pulling the edge, he brings down the tent. While the wolves are floundering inside, he gets out from under the carpets, but right there he is surrounded by a myriad horde of predators. And suddenly familiar call signs sound...
“Three unchangeable patches!”.
All Three Brothers, without saying a word, sneaked into the enemy camp in order to save the Beautiful Pig at the cost of their own lives, and die like heroes!
12. Scene "FIRST-LAST BATTLE"
Battle song "SHARING HOOT"!
This cannot be described in words, it must be seen! Hitting, shooting, tricks on trampolines.
.. Showing miracles of heroism, ingenuity and hoof-to-toe fighting techniques, each in their own way, the piglets beat the enemy. But the fight is unequal, the heroes are surrounded, they are close to death. And then, right in the epicenter of the battle, a familiar umbrella appears.
PINK-SHI. Poro-syan, and Poro-syan, Sumimasan...
Grandpa Piggy-Shi's muzzle peeps out from under the umbrella.
He bows to both sides.
PINK-SHI. Predator-San, nizya! Jia! Come on, goodbye...
The leader, completely forgetting about his gallantry, snatches the umbrella from the paws of the wizened old man.
WOLF. Get out of here, grandfather - not meat, not tufts of wool! (wolves howl with laughter)
PINK-SHI. (struck by such indelicacy) Japan mom!
Grandpa jumps high and hovering in the air for an unexpectedly long time, like in a matrix, does kato, in the style of ("Kagemu-2011" Youtube).
Samurai verse “FOR JAPAN MAMU!” in the song “THE SHARING HOOF”
Grandfather is throwing wolves right and left! And now all the wolves are already lying on the grass.
NIF. Snow, snow all over the earth…
NUF. Is this what it was like now?
NAF. Here's an old man for you ...
Khryu-Shi.
Having bowed in all directions, as the code dictates, the Japanese
opens an umbrella above him and quickly falls asleep. Grandpa is tired.
Wolves, not believing their luck, stagger, get up and surround the Pigs.
WOLF. Rip them!
But what kind of noise is this? From the side of the village in a “wedge” or, as they used to say in the old days, “pig”, in short, according to all the rules of military science, the villagers with shovels and pitchforks are rushing, after all, our heroes taught. Hall chase! Wolves, tails between their legs, run! Victory! Everyone rejoices. And Naf-Naf is chasing Wolf.
Here the Leader was left alone on the stage. All pigs surround the Wolf.
NAF. Well, grayness, are you accepting the challenge?
Wolf, with his tail between his legs, looks around in a haunted manner and suddenly snatches the Beautiful Pig out of the crowd. He bares his fangs at her tender neck and, without closing her mouth, lispingly threatens.
WOLF. Who shdvinish sh meshta - bite!
Everyone froze. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a huge unfamiliar pig appears - no one has seen fatter. She is in large beads, colorful skirts - a mustachioed black-haired Spaniard.
Spanish castanet song “OLA-OLA-NO PASARAN!”
Banging with castanets, the Catalan girl whirls in a flamenco dance, gradually approaching the Wolf, and with the final chord, with two hands, stuns the predator with castanets on the ears: "But pasaran!" The leader sluggishly falls into the hands of the Spaniard, and with a slight movement of her hip she throws the wolf over her shoulder.
The Spaniard introduces herself to those present.
HAMMONIA.Ola! YoTia Jamonia de Catalunya!
HEAD. Heavenly pigs! It's Aunt Hamonia from Catalonia! Haven't seen you in years!
Head and aunt embrace!
Grandpa Piggy-Chi wakes up.
PINK-SHI. Sumimasan, Pig-san!
Seeing Aunt Hamonia, he, in disbelief, begins to walk around her, admiring her.
PINK-SHI. Oh Japanese mother! (another circle) Daze beauty!
Aunt Hamonia, embarrassed, smacks Grandfather Piggy-Shea on the nose.
HAMMONIA. I brie…e…ha…la…a una boda!
HEAD. What?
HAMMONIA. And una boda - Zbad ... va ...
The Spaniard takes out a huge deck of tarot cards, famously shuffles, takes out a card.
On the map - the bride and groom.
HEAD. Sbadva?.. And - a wedding! Yes, but who is the groom, who is the bride?
Meanwhile, the Three Little Pigs are trying to leave unnoticed, they are still ashamed.
HEAD. Stop! Where are you, Heroes? You honorably justified your title!
Everyone pumps the piglets, and when the people part, the Beautiful Pig throws itself on the neck of Naf-Naf. It was he who saved the Beauty in the tent, pulling on a veil. The remaining two piglets, not wanting to interfere with the lovers, turn away, but they are overtaken by the hugs of our Beauty's sisters, who are like three drops of water! Where are you, suitors? And who confessed eternal love? The pigs are confused. It turns out that Golova-tone has one, but three daughters... and at the celebration the Brothers confessed their love not to one Beautiful Pig, but to all three, or rather, each of them! So there will be not one wedding, but three! Oh no - four! Ola! Just a brave caballero - grandfather Piggy-Shi offered Aunt Jamonie to become his lady!
13. Scene “FOUR WEDDINGS”
Wedding Final Song “KHRULI-LYULI”
With a song, yes for the wedding! All couples are happy.
