What should i be teaching my 4 year old

Start buying lots of jeans!    The more practice your child has with buttoning and zippering, the better he will become!  If the buttons on jeans are still a bit too difficult, you can use a practice tool like this or you can start with a button toy like this one to get your child used to the motion.

How to tie his shoes.

Kindergartners shoes come un-tied CONSTANTLY.  (If I had a dollar for every shoe I've tied...) Unlike preschool, there's one teacher per class and she is responsible for a lot!  That means, sometimes un-tied shoes go unnoticed.  If your child is capable of tying her own shoes, it will not only make your mornings easier but will also keep your child safer throughout the day!

There is no trick to this one.  Practice makes perfect. There are lots of little rhymes that can help but the bottom line is that your child will simply have to practice this regularly!   You can add this to the shoe routine we talked about earlier!   You can also use a practice shoe but I'd highly suggest going for one with a bit of extra weight like this one!

How to open his lunch

Lunchrooms are noisy and crowded and never have enough teachers in them.  At lunch, the staff is a skeleton crew of teachers who got tagged with Lunch duty for the day.  Not to mention, the cafeteria is loud and can be a bit scary for a kindergartener. If your child is brave enough to raise his hand and ask for help then he still has only about a 50% chance of being heard!  That's why it is super important for your child to be capable of opening everything in his lunch box, from his drink to his Tupperware container.

Within the first few weeks of school, your child's teacher will start asking him to write his own name on his schoolwork.   Giving him a headstart on this will not only be a great help to the teacher, but it will also help your child feel like one of the smartest kids in the room!  And research shows that if a child believes that they are smart in kindergarten, they tend to get higher grades throughout their entire school career!

As with many other things, teaching your child to write his name is about practicing the skill! Grab this Pack of Fine Motor worksheets to get a FREE Name Practice Page!  Keep doing this at least one time per week - more is better!  Eventually, you'll be able to write it on one line and have him copy it onto the next.  Then finally, he should be able to write it all on his own!  Just a warning.. for some kids, this could take months of practice!

YOU MIGHT NOT BE READY  BUT THEY SHOULD BE.

Grab this FREE Kindergarten Readiness Checklist!

How to speak up in front of strangers

As a kindergartener, your child will receive a grade for participation.  So when the teacher calls his/her name in class, she will expect a response that is loud enough for her to hear.  But that's not the only reason your child will need public speaking skills.  In the even that your child would get separated from his class in the hall or on the playground, he needs the ability to speak up and talk to an adult about his issue.  Having this skill means that your child's need are more likely to be met!

Take your child out to lunch and have him order his own food!  Help him out by quietly telling him what to order instead of answering for him.

Also, watch out for spontaneous opportunities! Often, adults will ask children what their name is or how old they are.  Instead of answering for them, just look at them and wait for an answer!

14 Things You Should Teach Children

Children have little experience in solving everyday issues and various problems. A child in elementary school may not even immediately understand how to pack a bag. Parents should help to acquire the necessary skills. Our blogger Nikolay Arkharov shares his experience on how to teach children to follow the regime, resolve conflicts and even find their own hobby.

1. Children do not have sufficient willpower to organize sports activities

Morning exercises should be done by parents together with children every day. An exception can only be if the child is engaged in the sports section, then morning exercises should be done on the recommendation of the coach. After charging - hardening procedures. At any time set by the schedule (preferably in the morning) - exercises for the eyes.

2. Children are not able to properly organize their time

A child's daily routine is the concern of parents. It must be compiled together with the child, written on paper and hung or put in a conspicuous place. Parents should help keep the routine. Its fulfillment must be made as calm and inevitable as the rising of the sun. In the case of urgent matters that are not included in the routine, the child needs to be prompted which things must be done without fail, and which ones can be sacrificed.

3. Children do not know how to pack a bag

Parents should teach this. Make a list of what should be in the bag for each day of class according to the schedule. Every evening, the child must remove the excess from the portfolio and add the necessary, according to the list. You help. It’s definitely not worth collecting a portfolio in the morning. Joint collections of the portfolio should be continued for about a month, until the habit appears. Monitoring the timeliness and correctness of the collection should be periodically carried out throughout the entire study in primary school.

4. Children cannot organize their homework

Yes, adults also need help with this. Measure the time of work and the time of distractions when doing homework (sometimes 1:4). Do not let the child be distracted, smoothly return him to study. Teach how to break lessons into separate parts: subjects, assignments. Teach them to immerse themselves in work, to perform the allocated part of the work without interruption. Take short breaks of 5-10 minutes (just not five minutes that turns into 50). Develop in the child the feeling of "doing the homework - and free."

5. Children cannot develop skills when their parents do everything for them

There is no greater cruelty than to raise a helpless creature and throw it into the abyss of life. You can't learn to swim on the shore. The child should always feel your support. You can not give tasks that are excessive for his forces (watch the movie "Return"). You should help your child overcome difficulties, but you should not study and do other work for him. If you find the line between the moments when help is needed and the moments when exactingness is needed, you can write the word "educator" in relation to yourself with a capital letter.

6. Children cannot organize their leisure time

A child needs to be taught to rest. There is a Russian proverb: "Stupid rest is tiring worse than work." The fox terrier, on the recommendation of dog handlers, needs to run at least seven kilometers a day to stay healthy. How much movement does a child need? In Soviet times, an elementary school student walked an average of 5-7 hours a day. Compare modern computer games in terms of the number of controlled objects and the number of decisions made per minute with the work of air traffic controllers. The developing role of computer games is a lie. Development takes place at the first level of the game, then actions are performed according to the template, as on a conveyor belt. The brain disconnects from thoughts and gets tired of monotony. In families where intellectual games are accepted together with children, more successful children grow up. It is necessary to find a conscious balance of intellectual and physical rest. Organization of children's leisure is the task of parents.

7. Children don't know what to read and what to watch

Books and movies for review should be determined by parents. There is a saying: "Until you try it, you won't say it's delicious." And Vysotsky sang:

If you cut the path with your father's sword,

You wound salty tears on your mustache,

If you experienced what was worth in a hot battle,

So you read the right books in childhood.

Thousands of boys, having read Kaverin's book "Two Captains", connected their lives either with the sea or with the sky. Including my father, an aviation lieutenant colonel. So it works. Discussing movies and books is a great opportunity to influence the worldview of the child and build relationships with him. Don't be intrusive. To begin with, offer the children the ten best films to watch and ten books to read, then it will go by itself.

8. Children don't know why they need to study

A first grader is old enough to think about his future. He needs unobtrusive help in this. You can have a completely different view of the goal in life, but education is needed in any case. Talk about successful C students is a lie. No one says that for one successful three-year student there are 20 "sat down in a puddle." In addition, C students, as a rule, achieve their success at the expense of others. In Hollywood films there is a cult of a professional, in Japan there is a cult of a professional, in the Soviet Union there was a cult of a professional, including in working professions. Except for the children of very well-to-do parents, who have a future “by birth”, and deceivers of all stripes, a confident, prosperous life is guaranteed only to a professional - no matter what business. Tell children about successful educated people with examples.

9. Children cannot prepare themselves for school

Independent means ready for school. Reading and writing can also be taught at school, but the child must be able to take care of himself:

• tie shoelaces and zip up clothes;
• be able to follow the rules of hygiene;
• don't lose your things.

The child must have developed fine motor skills. Small constructors, mosaics and the like will help you. The child must be able to memorize poetry. You need to firmly know where the top-bottom, right-left. Correct speech is the key to correct writing. Speech therapists to help you. It's never too late to learn.

10. Children do not know the norms of communication

The main cause of stress for children at school is the inability to communicate. A person learns the art of communication all his life. An aggressor, a downtrodden quiet person, a braggart, a clown, a beggar, a whiner, an egoist - such children always have a hard time living in a team. Fighting school rules is no easier than fighting windmills, and with the same efficiency. When debriefing, always ask the child what he wanted to achieve in communication and what happened. Let him analyze. Teach children how to resolve conflicts, not create them. Teach your kids to be polite. The words "honor" and "dignity" should not be an empty phrase for a child. Explain that someone who always pulls everything on himself can win in small things, but when it comes to really serious things, everyone will be against him.

11. Children cannot manage household money

Don't skimp on a child's self-esteem. Late payment for food in the canteen is a psychological trauma for the child. He is forced to make excuses for you. Excursions, concerts - the child should be in the team, do not put him in the "everyone left" position. Paid competitions, olympiads - give your child the opportunity to prove himself. Diplomas, certificates, even just praise are more important for him than trinkets and trinkets. Teach your child to value moral qualities in people.

12. Children can't always choose their hobby

They can't enroll in clubs and clubs, especially paid ones. All children are talented in their own way. Give them the opportunity to try themselves in different areas. Do not force children to fulfill your childhood dreams. Children are entitled to their desires and dreams. Keep in mind that if a child does something on your "strong recommendation", he may be afraid to upset you by saying that he does not like it. Be careful. Do not forbid children to participate in those circles and sections in which they want. If you want to engage in what you like, do it unobtrusively. It is better if you do this together with the child.

13. There are issues that children are not competent to solve

Do not load children with impossible tasks. Controlling the nutrition of children at school, dismantling with parents of aggressive children - these are your tasks. Protect your children, but remember: protecting a loafer, a fighter, a liar, you can make a monster out of a child. You will be the first to be distributed soon. Please note that the war with the teacher (as well as between parents) is waged on the spiritual field of the child. Try not to turn the child's soul into a scorched, trampled desert. Ashes don't burn. If a child has health problems, make sure the teacher is fully aware of the problems. Diet, medicines, allergens, first aid for seizures - in crisis situations, the teacher must know what to do.

14. Children do not know how to solve adult problems

Well, children have neither the experience, nor the means, nor the skills to solve adult problems. Nobody plows on foals - personal observation. Your fights are your fights. Your professional problems are your problems. Your financial problems are your problems. Your health problems are your problems. If it becomes necessary to dedicate a child to one of your problems, try to do it as gently as possible. Think about what is more important to you: solving the problem or the mental health of the child.

You are in the "Blogs" section. The opinion of the author may not coincide with the position of the editors.

Photo: Unsplash (Mathilde Merlin)

6 Ways to Teach Your Child to Learn

One of the most common parenting questions is “My child doesn’t want to learn, what should I do?”. But in order to want to learn, you must at least be able to learn. And this is a skill! Our blogger, child psychologist Olga Kondrashova talks about how to acquire and develop this skill.

You should not expect that a child will be able to do it on his own: while a small person is in grades 1-2 (in grade 3, responsibility for himself more or less begins to turn on), he is not yet very collected, organized, simply “sane”. Therefore, he needs outside control, that is, he must simply be taught to learn, to show how it is done.

Of course, there are children who, due to increased anxiety, for example, fear of the teacher or parents, or, conversely, excessive fascination with the teacher (more common in girls), are themselves worried about doing homework. But this is rather an exception to the general rule. So, the responsibility for a child's ability to learn lies largely with adults!

Now there are a lot of expert assessments that come down to the thesis - the child's interest is above all. I agree that it is criminal to crush the initiative of a child. But, unfortunately, excitement from novelty falls even in an adult, and the ability to return oneself to concentration, whether it be solving a problem or simply assimilating new information, I think, will remain relevant. At least until we are "chip" with already built-in programs, by analogy with gadgets. But for now, you and I have children, not robots. And after a certain time, your child will move from elementary school to high school, where it will be more difficult to study.

In addition, the motivational priority shifts in high school — the child “flies” from the importance of learning to the importance of establishing social connections (friends are above all!)

he will no longer fall into hopelessness or despair - "everything is useless, everything is already so neglected, such a wild volume, I can no longer cope with it, there is no point in even starting!". There will be no such problems if the child already has a conscious experience of "inclusion" in the lessons. How to keep the attention of the child during the lessons?

1. Give new meaning to boring tasks

For example, a child needs to learn how to write letters beautifully. Options: “OK, how are we going to write a message to Santa Claus? He won’t understand anything in your scribbles, it will be a shame if you don’t get what you ask for for the New Year ”... Or: “Let's write a letter to grandmother? You just need to write so that she can read, she doesn’t see very well!” Or: “What if you find yourself on a desert island? Then you will need to write a message to people and send it in a bottle. Let's learn to write legibly!

2. Stimulate intrinsic motivation

You can ask a child and encourage him to think about what this or that skill will give him - the ability to read, write, count, memorize. This can become the basis of his own intrinsic motivation - the strongest and brightest stimulus. Alas, it burns brightly, but not for very long. It will be necessary to periodically remind the child about the benefits of what he himself once thought of and what he himself came to.

3. Change roles - instead of a student "teacher"

All lecturers know that if you want to know a subject better, give a lecture on it. We turn the child into a teacher, put all his bunnies, cars, bears, dolls in front of him and play school. By the way, you can also play along in the role of the most naughty and most "talentless" student - "Oh, how difficult it is to write these numbers! I can't do it at all!" Or deliberately make a lot of mistakes. Usually children are very happy when they see themselves from the outside.

This technique relieves tension, allows you to speak in a safe mode and realize the difficulty of learning. And this, as you remember, improves self-control and increases "sanity", that is, the child sees an obstacle (laziness, inattention, inability to force himself to finish) with which he needs to cope.

Plus, this reduces the fear of making mistakes. This is a very important point, because children at school are constantly in the zone of anxiety and incompetence - every day they are faced with new material, new tasks and new requirements for their intellectual abilities. The ability to calmly endure failures and mistakes is an important quality that allows you to move forward, and not fall into the pit "I am a worthless clumsy."

After some time, when you see that the child has mastered the skill of "doing homework", we gradually begin to leave him alone. But it is necessary to make sure that the child understands that failure to do homework and poor study in general have negative emotional consequences for him. That is, you need to create a field of expectations around it, in which there are necessarily two topics.

First, let him know that you appreciate his efforts. You can say: “We are happy when you are doing well” or “We are upset when you are not doing well. ” So the child will learn that you respect his work, his efforts on himself, his ability to show his will, his growing and strengthening independence. This also allows one to form such an important quality of character as the ability to achieve goals and respect oneself for the result achieved.

The child will learn to motivate himself with this experience and the feeling of joy and elation that will follow each self-conquest. An important nuance - try to make your comments for the child clear and specific. Not just "You're great!" or “Excellent!”, but “How glad I am that you managed to finish everything!”.

Second - say that if something does not work out, then this is not a disaster! This will allow the child to avoid excessive anxiety about punishments and disappointment in him and remove a negative emotional connotation from the learning process. For example, you can tell him: “If something doesn’t work out so well for you, know that we will always help you”, “We will not scold you for a bad grade. Let's just agree, if something doesn't work out for you or you don't understand something at school, speak right away and together we will sort out difficult places or explain to you what you didn't understand. We will always help, the main thing is not to launch the item, ok?".

This is how the child receives a vector of development - that is, he is not indifferent, his efforts are important and appreciated by someone. At the same time, parents do not viciously control him, but worry about him and are always ready to help and support him.

5. Share successes

At a family dinner or on a walk, you can discuss with your child that now he has become more adult, especially since he himself strives for this, expecting going to first grade. And adults always have things that they don’t want to do, but they have to! Because it leads to such and such "cool" results. It is imperative to emphasize the very important and positive consequences of these cases with the “must” mark.

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