Child calming techniques

Calming Anxiety — Coping Skills for Kids

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Inside: Kid tested strategies used by child therapists for calming anxiety, including ideas to calm down, books to read and videos that can help

It’s happening again. Your daughter is frustrated and stomping away down to her room, slamming the door and in general “has her cranky pants on”. You say calm down, but she yells back “I don’t know how to do that!!!”

We tend to tell our kids to “calm down” without ever giving them explicit directions on how to deal with stress and anxiety. Here’s a collection of the best tools and tips I’ve found to teach children how to calm down and relax.

Sometimes you’ll need a quick way to help your child calm down and you don’t have much with you. Maybe it’s when you’re out at Target or stuck in traffic. These tips will come in handy at those times:

• Imagine your favorite place - it’s like taking a mini vacation wherever you are

• Think of your favorite things

• Name animals alphabetically (alligator, bear, cow, dog, etc…)

• Squeeze Something (play dough, clay, silly putty, your fists, a stress ball)

• Get a Cold Drink of Water

• 54321 Grounding - go through each of your 5 senses

1. Put your arms straight out in front of you, palms facing out.

2. Put one hand over the other at the wrists and interlace your fingers.

3. Swoop your hands and arms toward your body and then place your interlaced hands on your chest.

4. Cross your feet at the ankles and put your tongue on the roof of your mouth.

5. Stay still for one minute.

It’s great to have a big list of coping skills to try when your child needs to calm down. Here are two more short lists of ideas for calming down at home or at school.

From Imperfect Families - Strategies to use at home

From Encourage Play - 10 Strategies to Help Kids Calm Down at school or home

People usually roll their eyes initially when they hear “breathing is important”. But I will continue to say it and explain why. It’s so simple, yet has such a big impact on your body’s physiology.

When you and calm and relaxed, your body is in “rest and digest” mode. You breathe normally, your heart rate is lower and your muscles are relaxed. However, when stress or anxiety or anger occurs, your body automatically switches into “flight, fight or freeze” mode. Your muscles tense up, your heart rate increases and your breathing becomes more shallow.

Taking deep breaths, instead of shallow breaths, is one way to tell your body to get back to resting and digesting. That’s why deep breathing is important!

Luckily, there are some fun ways to teach kids deep breathing techniques

• Breathe in like you are smelling a flower, breathe out like you are blowing out birthday candles

• Arms up and breathe in, arms down and breathe out

• Pretend your belly is a balloon. Breathe in and make the balloon bigger, then breathe out and make the balloon shrink.

4 - 7 - 8 Breathing by GoZen

Breathing at Sea Otter Cove from Stress Free Kids
 

A Coping Skills Toolbox is a kit that you create to help your child calm down when they are upset, anxious or worried. In order to get the most benefit from this, you should create this kit before an issue occurs. When your child experiences anxiety, then they can pick out an item from their Coping Skills Toolbox. This is one of my favorite ways to help kids learn to calm their anxiety.

Here are some other fantastic ideas for what to put in a coping skills toolbox/calm down kit from And Next Comes L   

You can create a place specially designed to allow to calm down in a few steps

• Find a spot and make it cozy (ask your child for help with that - maybe they can place a favorite blanket or stuffed animal inside)

• Add calming tools

• Explain how to use it and practice before

• When they are starting to escalate, catch it early and give them a calm reminder about their calm down spot

Use the following phrases as a way to support your child, let them know that you’re going to support them and help them in any way that you can.

“I’m here for you”

“Talk to me and tell me what’s going on”

“How can I help?”

“Together, we can work on this. We’re a great team”

“I love you”

“Do you want a hug?”

Here are some more ideas of what to say to calm an anxious child.

From Go Zen - 49 Phrases to Calm an Anxious Child

From Lemon Lime Adventures - What to Say to Calm an Anxious Child               

Did you know there are podcasts with stories for children? Usually the hosts have a soothing voice and the stories tend to be pretty short. Your child can listen to these podcasts as a way to have some down time.

• Tales from the Lilypad

• Story Time

• Stories Podcast

• Storynory

There are scripts you can read to your child to help them relax and calm down. Slowly and carefully read the words as your child listens and follows the instructions. Check out Inner Health Studios list of scripts you can use with your child. If you prefer not to read a script, there are ones that are pre-recorded.

There are also scripts to practice mindfulness with children. Eline Snel has written a great book on Mindfulness with Kids, Sitting Still Like a Frog. Here are the several scripts that can be used from that book!

Annaka Harris also has several pre-recorded scripts to help kids practice mindfulness

Confused about how to introduce mindfulness to kids? Check out these resources:

Simple Ways to Introduce Mindfulness and Meditation to Children

11 Simple But Effective Ways to Teach Mindfulness to Kids

What you need:

Empty Jar

I’ve used empty soda bottles, empty water bottles, glass jars and plastic containers. Use whatever makes sense for you and your family. For instance, for the calming jars the kids have in their room, I used a heavy duty plastic bottle. I didn’t want them to accidentally knock over a glass jar in the dark - that would be a huge mess!

Water

I’ve had the best results when I’ve used warm water - it makes it easier for the water and paint to combine.

Glitter Paint

I prefer using glitter paint (or glitter glue) instead of glitter because then I’m not cleaning up glitter for weeks at my house after we make them :-)

To make your jar, add glitter paint to the bottom of the jar until it just covers the bottom of it. Add warm water. Put the cover on and shake to help the ingredients combine. Once you are satisfied with the look of your jar, then you can super glue the lid shut so it doesn’t spill. In a pinch, I’ve also used duct tape to secure the lid.

Watch Make a Simple Calming Jar from Coping Skills for Kids on YouTube

Wet Ingredients

Sometimes you want the glitter/other items to stay afloat longer or for a shorter amount of time. Here are some different ingredients you can use as the wet ingredients.

Dry Ingredients

To see several other ways to make calming jars, take a look at what Preschool Inspirations did.

One of the first things I always like to do with kids if they are struggling is to start using visuals. When you’re stressed and anxious, it’s harder to read and take in information. Visuals are easier.

I like to keep calming cue cards in my children’s coping skills toolboxes so that they can make a decision about what coping skill they can use. Sometimes pulling out a list is too much in the moment. You can make your own cue cards.

1. Take several index cards or small pieces of cardstock

2. On each one, write or draw one coping skill

3. Hole punch the cards and place them on a keyring (to make them extra sturdy, you can laminate them)

4. Put them into the coping skills toolbox for easy access

Using visuals is a powerful way to help kids. When kids are overwhelmed, sometimes it’s hard for them to figure out what to do. By having cue cards, your child can have a visual reminder of what calms and relaxes them.

To make things a little easier, I’ve created ready to use coping skills cue cards for you. There are four different sets: Calming, Physical, Distracting, and Processing. If you'd like all 4, I created a set where you can download them all together.

If your child is anxious, they may also be having a difficult time getting settled for bedtime. Here are some ideas to help your child get settled at bedtime.

One of the most important things to do is to figure out exactly what is causing the anxiety. Is it fear of the dark? Is it a worry about something in the closet? Is it monsters? Is it spiders? Figuring out the cause of the fear will help you come up with ways you can help your child combat it.

Are there particular spots of the room that seem to be darker or cause more fear at night than others? Go into the bedroom during the day with your child and talk about the spots that make your child nervous. Try moving night lights and furniture around for a more calming room arrangement.

If your child has a hard time separating from you, try a transitional object. This is a special item that helps your child feel comforted. It helps them feel like part of you is still present even when you're not there. It could be something like a stuffed animal or a special stone or necklace, or a sweatshirt of yours. The object isn’t what matters, it’s what the object represents. They can keep it and hold it all night long to help them relax and go to sleep.

Find more strategies here:  12 Kid Friendly Strategies to Calm Anxiety at Night

Looking for some calming guided meditation to help get to sleep at night? Try one of these: Best Guided Meditations for Sleep.

Whenever I sit down and talk with someone about their coping skills, one of the first
things I ask is if they have tried writing about it. Why do I always start with journaling as
a way of processing through difficult feelings?

• It’s easier to write about than talk about hard things

• Journaling helps you process what’s happening.

• It’s convenient.

• It’s not graded

• It can help you solve a problem

• It can help you re-frame your thinking

Looking for a journal for a child or teen? Check out Big Life Journals!

The Coping Skills for Kids Workbook by Janine Halloran. This book has over 75 strategies for kids to try to help them manage their stress and worry. This book also includes colorful worksheets to help kids learn more about their anxiety and what they can do to manage their stress.

Wilma Jean the Worry Machine by Julia Cook I love that when Wilma Jean’s physical reactions are described, they’re also illustrated. When is says she has knots in her stomach and her knees lock, her stomach really looks like it’s tied in a knot and there’s a real lock around her knees. I love the activity she does with her teacher, going over worries she can control and worries she can’t, it’s a great way to help kids manage their anxiety.

David and the Worry Beast by Anne Marie Guanci David’s anxiety is a beast, and the more anxious he gets, the bigger it grows. David learns to control his thoughts, and his beast shrinks. There’s also a couple of pages for parents and kids in the back.

When My Worries Get Too Big by Kari Dunn Buron This book is wonderful! There are several pages where kids can add in their own thoughts, worries and what helps them relax. This book also uses the 5 point scale to talk about stress and different ways to manage it.

What To Do When You Worry Too Much by Dawn Huebner, PhD This book goes through several ways that can help kids manage anxiety, including setting a time for worries, thinking about things that make you happy and resetting your body with activity or relaxation. There are some interactive places in this book, where a child can write down their worries, draw some images of things that might help, etc.

What To Do When You’re Scared and Worried by James J. Crist This is one of my favorite books for kids to help them deal with anxiety. Near the beginning of the book is a checklist that helps kids narrow down what they are anxious about. The beginning of the book covers the basics of what anxiety is and how to help manage with coping skills. The next section of the book goes into detail about different types of anxiety kids might experience, including Separation Anxiety, Phobias and Panic Attacks.

The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn Classic about managing separation anxiety when kids start school. My daughter’s kindergarten teacher read this on our visit to school the first day.

When I miss you by Cornelia Maude Spelman This is perfect for little ones who have a hard time dealing with the fact that they are away from their parents during the day. It suggests a couple of things they can do to help and reassurance that parents will come back at the end of the day.

Wemberley Worried by Kevin Henkes Poor Wemberley worries about everything, and then she gets really worried when she is about to start school.  

This E-Course offers you instant support from a Child Therapist.

You will get:

12 Videos that are quick and bite size

14 Exercises that will expand on the skills taught

6 Cheat Sheets that will serve as a reference

Along with the course you get:

Access to the instructor for ongoing support

Downloadable PDF versions of all lessons

Lifetime access to the course

Interview with Author Tanya Lindquist about Duke's Journey of Courage

How To Make a Calming Jar

Using Shapes to Teach Deep Breathing

16 Apps to Help Kids with Anxiety

50 Calm-Down Ideas to Try with Kids of All Ages

Navigating childhood challenges can be stressful, and sometimes deep breathing isn’t the solution that works for your child. When your child is in need of tension relief, try one of these techniques:

1. Try an inversion. For centuries, Yogis have understood the calming power of bringing the head below the level of the heart, otherwise known as inversion. Whether it’s relaxing in child’s pose, bending over to touch your toes, or practicing a headstand, inverting the body has a restorative effect on the autonomic nervous system, which controls the body’s response to stress.
2.  Visualize a quiet place. Research has shown that visualization is beneficial for a range of populations to reduce stress levels. Ask your child to close their eyes and picture a calm, peaceful place. Then, gently guide them to slowly start to build up a picture of how it looks, smells, and feels to be there.
3.  Drink water. Dehydration has been linked to a reduction in mental performance. Pour your child a tall class of cold water and have them sip it slowly. You can try this with them, and observe the calming effect this has on your own nervous system.
4.  Sing out loud. Everyone knows the sweet relief associated with rocking out to your favorite tune. But the physical act of singing out loud, even if it is off key, has been shown to release endorphins, the “feel good” chemical in the brain.
5.  Do the “Downward Facing Dog” pose. Just like inversions help reset the autonomic nervous system, the yoga pose known as Downward Facing Dog in particular has the added benefit of activating several muscles in the arms, legs, and core. This stretch helps muscles begin to burn additional blood glucose that is made available by the body’s fight or flight response.
6.  Paint it out. Not only does painting give the brain something to focus on other than the stressor, but participating in visual arts has been linked to resilience to stress in general. If the thought of dragging out the tempera gives you stress, have your child try “painting” with shaving cream on a plastic shower curtain in the yard. Not only is clean up a breeze, but your child will smell great when they are finished.
7.  Jump rope. Set a timer for 2 minutes, put on some music, and challenge your child jump to the beat of the song. If your child isn’t able to jump rope, playing hop scotch is a great alternative.
8.  Jump high. Challenge your child to a jumping contest to see who can jump highest, longest, fastest, or slowest. This is another great way to get in some exercise to help your child blow off some steam.
9.  Blow bubbles. Just like blowing on a pinwheel, blowing bubbles can help your child gain control of their breathing and thus, their mental state. Bonus: Running around popping bubbles is just as fun as blowing them.
10.  Take a hot bath. After a long day at work, there is nothing more relaxing than laying in a bathtub of hot water with the lights turned down and no interruptions. The same holds true for kids. Use bath time as a chance to help your little one unwind from the activities of the day. Introduce a few simple bath toys and allow your child to relax as long as they need to.
11. Take a cold shower. While the complete opposite of a hot bath, cold showers actually have a restorative effect on the body. Not only do cold or even cool showers reduce inflammation in the muscles, it improves heart flow back to the heart, and leads to a boost in mood. One study on winter swimmers found that tension, fatigue, depression, and negative moods all decreased with regular plunges into cold water.
12. Have a cozy drink. There is a reason why many people herald September as the beginning of Pumpkin Spice Latte (PSL) season. Drinking a warm drink on a cool day makes your body feel warm, almost like a hug from the inside. Giving your child a warm hot chocolate or warmed milk with a splash of vanilla will elicit the same response you have over that first sip of your PSL.
13. Blow out a candle. Light a candle for your child to blow out. Then re-light it and move it further and further away from them, so they have to take deeper and deeper breaths to blow it out. This is a great way to practice deep breathing, while making a game out of it.
14. Watch fish. Have you ever wondered why there is always a fish tank in hospitals and medical centers? The University of Exeter in the UK did, and found that watching fish swim in an aquarium reduces blood pressure and heart rate. Better yet, the larger the fish tank, the greater the effect. The next time your child needs to calm down, take them to the local lake, hatchery, or aquarium for a little fish-watching therapy.
15. Count backwards from 100. Not only does counting give your child a chance to focus on something other than what is bothering them, counting backwards offers an added concentration challenge without overwhelming their brain.
16. Repeat a mantra. Create a mantra that you and your child can use to help them calm down. “I am calm” or “I am relaxed” work well, but feel free to get creative and make it something personal to you and your child.
17. Breathe into your belly. Most of us breathe incorrectly, especially when we are in a stressful situation. Have your child think about their belly like it is a balloon. Tell them to breathe in deep to fill the balloon, and breathe out to deflate it. Repeat this simple process 5 times and notice the effects.
18. Shake a glitter jar. “Calm Down Jars” have been making their way around Pinterest for a while now, but the concept behind them is sound. Giving your child a focal point for 3-5 minutes that is not the stressor will allow their brain and body to reset itself. These jars can be made simply from sealed canning jars filled with colored water and glitter or with baby food jars filled with warm water and glitter glue.
19. Go for a run. Running has been shown to reduce stress, and can sometimes be more effective than a trip to the therapist’s office. Going for a 10 minute jog can not only affect your child’s mood immediately, its effects on their ability to cope with stress can last for several hours afterward.
20. Count to 5. Just when it seems as though they “can’t take it anymore”, have your child close their eyes and count to five. This form of 5-second meditation offers the brain a chance to reset itself and be able to look at a situation from a different perspective. It also gives your child a chance to think before they act in a volatile situation.
21. Talk it out. For children who are able to verbalize their feelings, talking about what is bothering them gives them a chance to let you know what is going on while processing it for themselves. The trick is to resist the urge to “fix” the problem. Your child needs you to listen and ask appropriate questions, not offer unsolicited advice.
22. Write a letter in the voice of your BFF. We would never talk to our best friend in the same critical way we talk to ourselves. The same is true for our children. Tell them to be kind to themselves, and ask them what they would tell a best friend to do in their situation.
23. Decorate a wall. We’re not talking about paint and decor, but poster tack and pictures from magazines or printed from the internet can give your child a chance to create large-scale temporary art in any space. The creative process is what is important, not the end result.
24. Create a vision board. Have your child cut out words and pictures from magazines that speak to their interests, desires, and dreams. Then have them glue these pictures and words onto a poster board to display in their room. Not only does the process of creation allow them to think about what they want from life, displaying things they love gives them an opportunity to focus on what is really important when they are upset.
25. Give or get a bear hug. Hugging allows your body to produce oxytocin, a naturally occurring hormone in your body necessary for immune system function. Not only does a 20 second hug reduce blood pressure, increase feelings of well-being, and reduce the harmful physical effects of stress, both you and your child will reap the benefits!
26. Walk in nature. According to Stanford scientists, walking in nature has been proven to improve cognition and reduce stress. Even if you do not have time to spend the 50 minutes researchers did, taking a 15 minute walk in nature works can be just what your child needs.
27. Envision your best self. This is a great way to motivate your child to work toward a goal. Have them write down where they would like to see themselves in a week, a month, or a year, with this specific goal in mind.
28. Blow on a pinwheel. Similar to the candle exercise, blowing on a pinwheel focuses more on controlled exhalation rather than deep inhalation. Tell your child to make the pinwheel go slow, then fast, then slow to show them how they can vary the rate at which they blow out the air in their lungs.
29. Squish some putty. When a child plays with putty, the brain’s electrical impulses begin firing away from the areas associated with stress. Try a store bought putty or make your own.
30. Take up pottery. Much in the way playing with putty fires electrical impulses in your child’s brain, sculpting with clay or throwing pots can have a similar effect. It also has the added benefit of being considered “active learning”, a powerful condition that allows your child to learn through exploration.
31. Write it out. For older children, journaling, or writing their feelings down can have a profound effect on their mood, especially if they can do so without the fear of having it read. Give your child a notebook to keep in a safe place, and allow them to write about how they feel, assuring them you will not read it unless they ask you to.
32. Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude. A cousin to “write it out”, gratitude journaling has been linked to better performance in the classroom as well as a reduction of stress outside of learning environments. Having a separate notebook only for things your child is grateful for will give them the freedom to keep their journaling activities separate.
33. Name your emotion. Often when children become overwhelmed, it is because they have difficulty identifying the negative thoughts they are having. Whether your child is quick to anger, panic, or obsess to ensure things are perfect, ask them to give this feeling a name, and help them talk back to it. For instance, by asking your child, “is Mr. Perfect bothering you again?” you can work together to help them challenge their perfectionism, rather than fight them over it.
34. Rock in a rocking chair. Not only does rocking in a rocking chair provide non-weight bearing strengthening to the knees and core, its repetitive nature offers stress-relief as well. Rock in a rocking chair with your child or allow them to rock by themselves as a way to self-soothe their frenzied emotions.
35. Push against a wall. This trick is perfect for allowing the body to get rid of stress hormones without having to go outside or even leave the room. Have your child try to push the wall over for 10 seconds, 3 times. This process allows the muscles to contract in a futile attempt to bring the wall down, then relax, releasing feel-good hormones into the body.
36. Crinkle tissue paper. Babies are inherently aware of this trick as one of their favorite things to do is crinkle paper. Not only does crinkling tissue paper provide a satisfying noise, the textural changes in your child’s hand sends sensory feedback to the brain in a pathway away from those associated with stress.
37. Pop bubble wrap. Anyone who has received a package in the mail knows the joy of popping row after row of bubble wrap. The same material can be found at most retailers and dollar stores and be cut into manageable pieces for stress-relief anywhere, anytime.
38. Roll a tennis ball on your back. An old physical therapy trick, rolling a tennis ball on your child’s back will give them a gentle massage when they are most in need of a calming touch. Focus on the shoulders, neck, and lower back as these are typical places where the body holds tension.
39. Roll a golf ball under your feet. Rolling a golf ball under your child’s feet can not only improve circulation, but there are pressure points on the bottom of the feet that relieve stress and relax the muscles of the feet and legs. Roll over the entire sole of your child’s foot using various pressures for maximum benefit.
40. Go to your calm down space. Having a designated “Calm Down Space” in your home gives children an opportunity to retreat when they feel out of control and rejoin the group when they need to. It is important to make this space comfortable so your child wants to visit it when they are in need of a self-imposed “time out”.
41. Play music. Music has a profound effect on mood, sleep, stress, and anxiety. Use a variety of musical styles to set the tone in your home, car, or your child’s room.
42. Have a dance party. Adding a physical component to your musical enjoyment gets your kids moving and is a fun way to be active. Crank up the tunes and have a dance party in your living room when your child is in a bad mood and watch their mood transform.
43. Do a primal yell. Sometimes all of your child’s emotions are simply too much to contain in their body. Have them stand with their feet shoulder width apart and imagine their feelings boiling up from their toes through their legs and body, and out of their mouths. They don’t have to yell words, or even maintain a certain pitch, just whatever comes out that feels good to them.
44. Change the scenery. How many times have we thought to ourselves, “Just walk away,” when confronted by a big emotion? Your child may simply need a change of scenery in order to calm down. If you are inside, head out. If you are outside, find a quiet space indoors. Either way, change the scenery and you will likely change the mood.
45. Go for a walk. There’s a real reason people go for walks to clear their heads. Not only is the fresh air and exercise restorative, but the natural rhythm walking creates has a self-soothing quality. Take your child on a walk, and they may even open up to your about what is on their mind.
46. Plan a fun activity. When you are in an anxious moment, it can seem as though the walls are closing in and the world will come to an end. Some children need to focus on what is ahead of them in order to reset their internal dialog. Plan something fun to do as a family, and let your child have a say in it. Any topic that will get them focused on a future something to look forward to can be helpful.
47. Knead the bread. Grandmothers around the world will tell you that the process of bread making is a tremendous stress relief. Simple recipes are abundant online that allow your child to get their hands dirty turning and pushing dough. The best part is that at the end, you have homemade bread to show for it!
48. Make a bracelet. Crafting in general can facilitate a state of “flow” or a state characterized by complete absorption in an activity. The same concept can be extended to knitting, crochet, folding laundry, or any activity where your child forgets their external surroundings.
49. Get on a bike. Bicycling for children has largely become a thing of the past. With the introduction of bicycle lanes and paved trails in urban areas, bicycling is safer than ever and can be a powerful form of self-soothing. Not only is it easy on the joints, it promotes balance, exercise, and can be done with the whole family.
50. Take a coloring break. It’s not without good reason that restaurants give children coloring; it gives them something to focus on, and can be a great mindfulness activity that reduces anxiety. Make a trip with your child to pick up some crayons and markers, and get them excited about filling in the pages of a coloring book.

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How to calm a child quickly - Lifehacker

October 9, 2019 Likbez Tips

Lifehacker has collected only working methods for different ages.

How to soothe a newborn

1. Pick up, snuggle up to your chest

A versatile method that works for babies of all ages and even adults. Hugs soothe, give a sense of security, convince you that you are not alone in this harsh and terrible world. They also increase the production of the hormone oxytocin (not for nothing it is sometimes called the “cuddle hormone”), which increases the level of satisfaction with life and reduces pain.

In general, take the baby in your arms, remembering to support the head at the back of the head with the palm of your hand, and press it to you. The crying, if it doesn't stop immediately, will surely become quieter. And there, before the child calms down, not far.

2. Swaddle or, conversely, unswrap

Newborns still have strong physical memories of the time when they were in their mother's stomach. Therefore, perhaps the child needs to feel that he is in a safe, restrictive cocoon. Swaddle him.

Another option (if crying has already begun in diapers) is to free the baby's arms and legs from the fabric. Maybe he's wrapped too tight and feels uncomfortable.

3. Give a breast, bottle or pacifier

Even if the baby is not hungry, suckling will help him calm down.

4. Rock your baby to white noise

Ideal if you have a white noise generator. Then just turn it on and rock your baby to these soothing sounds.

However, if there is no special device at hand, it does not matter. Use the old grandmother's method. Take the child in your arms, rock him rhythmically and quietly hiss over his ear in a monotone: "Sh-sh-sh-sh."

5. Use Dr. Hamilton's 5-Second Technique

The video that California pediatrician Robert Hamilton posted on YouTube has already garnered over 36 million views. And no wonder - it contains an almost magical way to instantly soothe a crying baby.

“My parents have asked me a million times to share this recipe,” the pediatrician himself explained the appearance of the video. Robert Hamilton has been a pediatrician in Santa Monica, California for 30 years, and the method he describes is the culmination of years of experience.

Hamilton calls the proposed technique "holding." It consists of only four steps, the implementation of which can be put in literally 5 seconds.

• Hold the baby in your arms and cross his arms over your chest.
• Press the crossed arms with your left palm against his chest and lay the child on the same palm - at an angle of 45 degrees to the floor. Hold the chin with the fingers of the same left hand so that the head does not fall.
• Use your right hand to support the newborn under the diaper.
• While holding your baby at a 45 degree angle, gently rock him. It can be up and down or side to side. Choose the most comfortable option for you. The main thing is that the movements are soft and smooth. Literally after a couple of seconds, the baby will be silent.

Watch Dr. Hamilton's video for details:

Pediatrician warns: This technique is suitable for babies under 3 months of age. Later, they become too heavy to hold safely in this position.

And one more note. If the child does not calm down, then there are serious reasons for crying. Perhaps the baby is hungry, he is hot, or maybe he just has a wet diaper. Help a newborn get rid of physical discomfort, and he will give you a long-awaited smile and silence.

How to calm a child from 4 months to a year

By this time the baby is strong and begins to realize himself, so simple physical methods are no longer so effective. To calm the child, you have to connect the fantasy. But let's start with the classics.

1. Pick up

Again, this option is suitable for all ages. Use it as often as possible. While hugging the child to you, whisper something soothing to him in a gentle soft voice.

2. Shift your attention

Pick up the child and walk to the window with an enthusiastic voice saying something like “Wow, look at that big dump truck!” or “Look what a cute fluffy cat in the yard!”. Turn on the cartoon TV. Put on your favorite children's songs and start dancing with your baby in your arms.

Your goal is to shift the baby's attention from the situation that disturbed him and caused him to cry, to something new and interesting.

3. Replace emotional activity with physical activity

Take the child under the arms and let him jump on the bed. Or do some gymnastics. Or throw in the air (low). The need to concentrate in order to coordinate muscle activity will cause the infant to stop crying.

Attention! This method is not suitable if there is even the slightest suspicion that the crying is caused by a fall or pain.

4. Turn crying into something funny

For example, tickle a child. Or take his toy and set up a little puppet show. Speak for her in a funny theatrical voice: “Oh, who is crying here? Hush, hush, I'm afraid! - and hide it behind your back. The goal is to make the baby smile. Children's crying, if you try, easily enough turns into laughter.

How to calm a child from one to 3-4 years old

At this age, most children already understand adults well, know how and like to communicate. This is the basis of the most effective methods of calming.

1. Pick up and sympathize

Hold a crying child close to you, say something like “You are crying. You must be upset about something. Tell me what happened, how can I help you? He will most likely tell you what is bothering him. This will help solve the problem of crying.

2. Be mindful

Ask your baby to cry more quietly (for example, so as not to wake up a resting mother) or in a lower voice, “like a bear”. If he obeys, you win. Crying will turn into conscious vocal exercises, from which the child will quickly get tired.

3. Remind me of an important task worth putting off crying for.

It might look like this: “Come on, you will cry later, otherwise it will soon become dark and if you cry for a long time, we will not have time to take a walk.” Thus, you do not deprive the child of the right to tears. Just ask to be rescheduled for a more convenient time.

4. Find a way to vent the child's bursting emotions

Offer him, for example, a pillow: "Come on, so as not to cry, we will beat her!" And together with the child, start knocking on a soft thing with your fists. You can also give an inflatable hammer or offer to throw plastic balls at the wall. Any kind of activity that will help get rid of negativity will do.

5. Create a funny ritual

For example, as soon as a child starts crying, run for a hair dryer to quickly dry the tears. “So, where is our hair dryer, where did I lose it? Oh, let's blow on the cat? This will help to switch children's attention and, perhaps, even make the child laugh.

6. Come up with “bad mood pills”

These can be bear-shaped jelly gummies, chocolate dragees, any other small sweetness. "Who's crying here? We urgently call an ambulance, she brings us pills from a bad mood! Eat and your tears will dry!” The basic rules for this are: there must be only one “pill”, and if the child refuses it, this time it will no longer be offered.

How to calm a child 3-4 years old and older

By this age, children are already full-fledged individuals. And the reasons for their tears are much more diverse than those of babies. Each of them must be worked on individually. Fortunately, the child can already clearly voice what exactly made him cry, and this makes the task easier.

Only one thing remains unchanged: to pick up, hug, kiss, say how much you love the child and how much you sympathize with him. Empathy and support help people pull themselves together at any age - from 4 years old, and at 15, and at 45.

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Tips on how to calm a crying baby

Crying is a way for a child to communicate, but despite its naturalness, it is not out of place to try to calm a crying baby. It is logical that parents will have a question: “How to calm the child?” This may seem like a daunting task at times, but understanding the reasons will help you learn how to soothe a crying baby. Remember: you are doing great. We just want to give you some useful tips to help ease your worries.

If you have any questions or concerns about your baby's crying, seek medical advice. Sometimes crying can be a sign of an existing medical condition, so it's best to pay attention to any additional symptoms right away.

Baby crying is not only natural but also expected, especially during the first three months of life. Babies usually cry for an hour every day for the first few weeks. At about six weeks old, your baby may cry for up to two hours a day, and from eight weeks on, again for about one hour a day. However, remember that all babies are different and cry differently! ¹

Crying is a way of saying something is wrong. When it comes to learning how to soothe a crying baby, it's important to understand what exactly is causing her anxiety. Your baby may cry if: ¹

• he is hungry;
• the baby is troubled by belching or bloating;
• need a diaper change;
• he wants to sleep;
• wants to be picked up or rocked;
• baby is hot or cold;
• baby has colic;
• feels uncomfortable: wants to roll over, presses on the diaper or clothes, or is disturbed by tight swaddling;
• the baby is teething.

If your baby cries for more than three hours a day and more than three days a week, he may be suffering from colic. However, this is not a cause for panic, and there are several ways to soothe a child with colic. Find out here about colic, its symptoms, and how to soothe a baby with colic.

If you think reflux (regurgitation) may be the cause of your crying, you can learn more about the different types of reflux and how to manage it here.

Be sure to contact your child's doctor if your baby seems ill or has the following symptoms in addition to excessive crying: ¹

• fever;
• shortness of breath or cough;
• vomiting;
• diarrhea;
• rash;
• crying worse when the child is picked up or moved;
• increased irritability or lethargy.