Good social skills

10 Tips to Be More Social

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What are social skills?

The benefits of having good social skills

How can I enhance my social skills?

Do I have trouble with social skills?

The bottom line

We all have moments where our social skills fail us. Perhaps your joke was greeted with awkward silence. Or, at a restaurant, you enthusiastically told the waiter that they, too, should enjoy their meal.

The odd mishap with friends is hardly cause for alarm. The embarrassment will soon transform into an inside joke, deeping your bond with others.

But, if you fumble too often, it can take a toll on your self-esteem and mental health. If you don't know how to improve your social skills, it can hold you back socially and at work. Some behaviors can come across as antisocial or even harmful to others, while simple shyness can read as aloof, standoffish, or arrogant. Knowing this might not put you at ease, but it can help you understand other people's reactions.

Now that companies are starting to pull teams together in person, many people are feeling some level of social anxiety. Just because it feels uncomfortable, not feeling confident in your ability to spend more than 5 minutes chatting with coworkers isn't an option. The good news? The past two years haven't helped anyone feel socially smooth. Many people are feeling awkward. The bad news? Many people are behaving awkwardly, and misunderstandings will happen.

You don’t have to change yourself. But you might have to change your approach, not just to appear more sociable but to avoid the most unnecessary points of friction that undermine your confidence. This will not only improve how others perceive you, but it can also benefit you in other ways.

If you’ve been feeling out of place, developing your social skills can help you feel more at home with your colleagues. It can also improve your confidence, sense of belonging, and ability to collaborate at work — all important skills that will affect your mental health, motivation, and ability to succeed.

Training your social skills can be difficult. But we know you can do it.

Here’s how to improve social skills at work, with strangers, and in every other part of your life.

Social skills are the verbal and nonverbal communication skills required to foster connections and appropriately navigate social settings. Think about socializing a puppy: The more interaction it has with other puppies when it’s young, the better it knows how to act when it’s older. Humans are similar.

Most of the time, when people think of “social skills,” they think of their everyday interactions. It’s how they gain acceptance from their colleagues or peers and involves being comfortable when speaking to strangers, easily making friends, and earning the respect of your co-workers.

These things don’t always come naturally. Individuals with social anxiety, for example, might have trouble connecting with others. Introverts or shy people who like to keep to themselves may actively avoid social interactions — and appear rude as a result. Or, sometimes, we get uncomfortable around people we don’t know and lose some of our social confidence.

No matter the case, it’s nice to have some basic principles to fall back on. Knowing how to develop your social skills will help you in the long run.

The benefits of having good social skills

So what’s in it for you? Well, a lot. Improving your social skills is essential for your social health and overall well-being.

In terms of mental health, people with strong social ties have lower rates of anxiety and depression. They also have higher self-esteem, greater empathy, and are more cooperative.

For your physical health, researchers knew as early as 1988 that lack of social connection is more harmful than obesity, smoking, and high blood pressure. And, more recently, they learned that isolation is associated with a 50% increased risk of dementia as you age.

Sharpening your social skills will also pay you back in the form of social capital. Entire university programs are devoted to studying this concept. But, to keep it simple, we can define social capital as the sum of all benefits from being part of a social group.

Social capital comes with its own list of benefits:

People will like working with you. Social capital often translates to goodwill from your colleagues; if you’re easy to work with, people will be in your corner when you need it — like when you’re gunning for that next big promotion.
When you ask for help, people provide it. What goes around comes around. If you’re kind and helpful to others, they’ll do the same for you.
Others will understand your boundaries. Don’t want to go to a social event? It’ll be easier to refuse when people trust there are no hard feelings. When you use your social skills, you can help others see where you’re coming from and better communicate your feelings.
Clients will love you. Whether you’re a freelancer, salesperson, or customer service rep, social skills are essential to winning and keeping clients. People like good work with a good attitude.
You’ll nail your job interviews. Job interviews are about making great impressions. This is the perfect environment to flex your social skills. Use open body language, eye contact, and friendly facial expressions to impress your interviewers.

In today’s gig economy, social capital is critical. It can earn you a higher salary, win you more interesting projects, and may be the deciding factor in your next job application. Consider working with a BetterUp coach to improve this area of your career.

How can I enhance my social skills?

We’re glad you asked! You can definitely learn or improve your social life. Here are some general guidelines to get you started:

1. Improve your emotional intelligence

Put yourself in their shoes. Imagine what they might be going through and try to understand their feelings. You’ll better understand their perspective, which will help you respond appropriately.

2. Look inwards

Pay attention to your emotions, thoughts, behaviors, and triggers. Then it will be easier to control them while interacting with others.

3. Practice effective communication skills

Use tactics like active listening and open body language to demonstrate attentiveness. This opens the door to more positive interactions.

4. Fake it ‘till you make it

Try acting like your more social peers, even if it’s just small talk. It will become easier every time you try it.

5. Ask more than you speak

You don’t have to worry about speaking up; ask open-ended questions and use active listening. People love talking about themselves.

6. Give compliments

Everyone likes a good compliment. Tell someone that they were great in that meeting, or their project was top-notch. Be specific.

7. Be polite

Good manners go a long way. Words like “please” and “thank you” are small but powerful ways to soften requests.

8. Use open body language and non-verbal communication

Face the person with whom you’re speaking. Pay attention to your tone of voice. Make eye contact. Use your body language to show you’re present and paying attention.

9. Read the news

So many conversations revolve around current events; try to keep up so you can chime in.

10. Don’t let your thoughts get the best of you

It’s okay to feel a little anxious, but don’t let it get the best of you. You’re not your thoughts. Take a deep breath and try to let them go; this will help you relax in a social situation.

11. Start small

Start by spending time in a coffee shop or practicing your conversation skills with family members. Then you can ease into larger social settings. Before you know it, you'll be making new friends at your next social gathering.

Do I have trouble with social skills?

A lot of people with anxiety or ADHD have a hard time connecting with others. Introverts or very shy people may also struggle.

Here are some signs that you don't have great social skills:

You scroll on your phone while people talk to you. Smartphones are great at keeping us connected, but often to the detriment of those right in front of us. It puts a physical barrier between you and the other person at best. This communicates non-receptiveness to their words, and at worst, you seem bored, uninterested, and rude.

You never take off your headphones. Sure, you might pause the music while someone talks to you. But they don’t know that. Take out your earbuds to show that you’re listening.

You never do anything in person. These days, you can order just about anything to your door. But while this is wildly convenient, it cuts you off from the outside world. Don’t let yourself become socially isolated.

You force humor when it might not be appropriate. You may want to defuse your anxiety with humor, but it’s not always the best time. Learn to read the room and only use jokes when it makes sense.

The bottom line

It’s normal to experience awkward moments. You might tell the theatre employee to enjoy a movie they’re not going to see or tell a joke that no one laughs at. It happens; cut yourself some slack.

But poor social skills go beyond the occasional blunder. At best, you seem aloof. At worst, outright rude. It’s good to evaluate your social skills and see which ones you can improve to be your best self.

That’s not to say that you can learn to overcome shyness or that you have to be a social butterfly. But it’s nice to know that when you want to strike up a conversation — whether inside or out of work — you’ll feel comfortable doing so.

If you need help, BetterUp is here. We’ll give you the tools you need to learn how to improve your social skills to ease your social discomfort or learn better communication skills. Whatever your best self needs, we can help you find.

How Socializing Can Take You To The Top

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What are social skills?

Why are they important?

5 components of social skills

6 benefits of social skills

8 social skills examples

The role of social skills in the workplace

Your next step: How to include social skills on your resume

As a preschooler, developing our social skills was a core part of our education. We learned how to share toys, say “Yes, please” when offered snacks, and play nicely with others.

We’re still exercising those skills in adulthood but in different ways. When we’re in social situations, we need to know how to get along with others and show respect.

Nobody wants to be the person who barges in without any social graces. We understand intrinsically that mastering these social skills is key to building both personal and professional relationships.

But that’s easier said than done. After preschool, people become less and less likely to call us out for our bad behavior. When our social skills are lacking, we often find ourselves alone before we’re given the opportunity to improve them.

Changing these skills as an adult isn’t easy. We’re much more conscious of what others think of us. Depending on the traits we identify with, trying to change or improve our social skills might feel uncomfortable. We often mistake habitual communication patterns for authenticity.

In truth, we all have times when we feel confident and at ease, and we all have times when we don’t know what to say.

Being quiet and shy doesn’t mean that you don’t have outstanding social skills. Conversely, being an extrovert who loves meeting new people doesn’t necessarily mean you have superb social skills, either.

We can always find ways to improve our social and communication skills. The truth is, social skills aren’t one-sided. In other words, it’s not just about what you do or say, but understanding how you’re perceived by others.

It takes understanding different examples of social skills, why they’re essential, and how you can use them to your advantage.

What are social skills?

Our social skills are how we approach and communicate in social interactions.

Also known as interpersonal skills, people use many different social skills to communicate. These include nonverbal communication skills (like facial expressions or body language) and spoken conversation.

We use our social skills to make good impressions on hiring managers, make new friends, and interact with people respectfully.

We appreciate social skills because they’re important to developing our personal and professional relationships. As far as soft skills go, these ones are vital. We rely on our social skills to make ourselves and others feel more comfortable.

Why are they important?

The way we communicate with others will always have importance. The more we can effectively articulate what we want to say, the better others will understand us. They won’t be confused about how we feel, and our well-being will thrive.

Good social skills also help with problem-solving, conflict resolution, and emotional intelligence. If a friend or family member is upset, our social skills help us offer advice or support. Similarly, in romantic relationships, these skills allow us to develop trust and an emotional bond with our partners.

It doesn’t matter what industry you work in, either because social skills help all of us grow our networks. Meeting new people or being a good team member isn’t as challenging when you know how to interact with others — and it’s always important.

Ultimately, strong social skills benefit our friendships, romantic relationships, and workplace relationships, and even make your day-to-day interactions more pleasant.

A BetterUp coach can help you develop the communication skills you need to articulate your thoughts and feelings with confidence and build your connection with others.

Your social health is a critical part of your Whole Person. We can work with you to strengthen your social skills to better care for your social health.

5 components of social skills

Social skills aren’t as straightforward as introducing yourself, or how well you can answer a question. Apart from verbal skills, there are many other components involved in successful communication.

According to psychiatrists John N. Constantino, Thomas Przybeck, Darrin Friesen, and Richard D. Todd (2000), there are five components of social skills to be aware of:

1. Social awareness: How we pick up on social cues, like when it’s our turn to talk or when someone wants to leave.

2. Social cognition: How we process the social signals we encounter and respond accordingly.

3. Social communication: How we reciprocate and respond when someone expresses non-ball cues or communicates verbally.

4. Social motivation: Things that compel us to respond, like expressing empathy or social anxiety.

5. Autistic mannerisms: Behaviors that people with autism engage in, like repetitive behavior or tics.

6 benefits of social skills

People are inherently social, and they want to interact — and connect — with others in meaningful ways. When we can communicate clearly with others, it does much more than just put us at ease.

Here are six benefits of having good social skills:

Helps us build strong relationships with friends, family, and colleagues
Reduces risk of heart disease and high blood pressure
Combats loneliness and social isolation
Boosts our self-esteem and builds self-confidence
Increases our productivity and job performance
Builds stronger mental health and overall happiness

8 social skills examples

As we talk about how important social skills are, we need to highlight poor social skills. Take a moment and think about how you behave when you’re at a party for your friend, or when you’re at work and you have to deal with rude clients.

What kind of social skills do you put on display? What makes the difference between “good” and “bad” social skills??

Here are some strong and poor social skill examples:

Strong ones

You make eye contact with people you’re talking to
You practice active listening when someone’s expressing themselves
If a friend or colleague is upset, you express empathy and compassion
You respect people’s personal space and boundaries

Poor ones

You don’t acknowledge others, invite them, or try to include them in activities
You say hurtful and offensive things to people in times of conflict
You interrupt people when they’re talking
You don’t take responsibility for your actions or apologize

The role of social skills in the workplace

A business relies on employees at every level to work together to accomplish its goals, and the power (and influence) of good social skills in the workplace can make or break a team.

When a new co-worker joins a workplace, it tests their and existing team members’ social skills. It takes time to build relationships and trust. Team building doesn’t happen overnight, but team members find ways to click with excellent social skills.

Morale is boosted, and so is productivity. People are more inclined to learn new skills, challenge themselves, and offer guidance. When everyone cooperates, it’s easier to trust one another to do their job and focus on your own tasks.

On the other hand, when a team lacks strong social skills, their work and well-being pay the price. If they lack respect for each other’s emotions and feelings, it could create a toxic workplace.

A team with poor social skills will struggle to understand each other well, and they can’t communicate effectively about projects, deadlines, and more. Plus, it makes teamwork a nightmare. Employees don’t work well together so their productivity plummets and they start to enjoy their job less and less.

Your next step: How to include social skills on your resume

Nobody is born with perfect social skills. They take time to develop and start from a young age, and they never stop improving. Our skills grow when we try new things or experience new social situations.

Sometimes we make mistakes or we don’t come across how we wanted to, but that’s okay. Signals get crossed and it can confuse others — or even ourselves. What matters is that we take the time to be self-aware, consider our social presence, and do our best to be understood.

One place that really matters is on our resumes. When we apply to new jobs, we want our values, goals, and skills to come through.

Here are some tips on making your skills shine, even on a piece of paper.

Use keywords like cooperation, listening, and empathy
Don’t forget to convey that you’re interested and passionate about the work
Make your cover letter count and include specific examples of your social skills in action
Show respect for the company you’re applying to
Read the job description carefully and follow all instructions

Find someone to help you stay focused on your long-term goals. A BetterUp coach or mentor will provide the accountability you need to strengthen your social skills so that your professional and personal life will flourish.

5 important social skills | CVMarket.lv

Every day at work we come across a variety of people, and not only their positions, but also their characters are different - therefore, by the end of the working day, the winner is the one who finds a common language with everyone. Social skills help you maintain respectful and sustainable relationships with others, moreover: according to research, good social skills can help you get a long-awaited promotion and earn approval among colleagues. In this article, we will talk about the social skills that every employer values \u200b\u200band advise on how to develop them in yourself.

Empathy - the ability to understand another person's emotions

If you have empathy, you can put yourself in the other person's shoes and understand what they feel and think. Empathy is useful where it is necessary to reach an agreement, find a compromise or resolve a conflict situation: if you understand the motives of another person, it will be easier for you to find a solution that will satisfy both parties.