Social skills lesson plans for preschool

13 Social Skills Activities for Preschoolers + Milestones

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The foundation for a person’s social behaviour is laid during the early years, which makes preschool a crucial time to ensure your children are learning social skills.

In this article I’ll explain briefly:

• why social skills are important
• examples of social skills for preschoolers
• the stages of social development
• social milestones by age
• 13 social skills activities for kids

Developing social skills in preschoolers is vital in order for them to be able to interact with others successfully and form healthy relationships throughout life.

As children grow, they learn about social roles, values and behaviours from the world around them.

Parents, siblings, extended family, peers and teachers all have a role to play in moulding children’s social skills.

Healthy socializing involves three general things – generosity, helpfulness and taking turns.

Generosity

Generosity is about sharing with family as well as friends. Children must also learn to respect others’ rights and possessions.

Helpfulness

Learning to be friendly, considerate and helpful must be balanced with not being overly submissive and stifling the development of their own personalities.

Taking Turns

This is one of the most important skills to learn. It is the basis of courtesy and thoughtfulness and is relevant at almost every level of life.

Children must allow others to have their turn but also have the self-confidence to insist on getting their own turn, without trying to dominate activities and conversations. The example parents set is important.

The social and emotional development of a child is an important aspect of their growth, just as much as intellectual or physical development, which we tend to pay more attention to.

Children need to build a set of prosocial skills in order to navigate communicating with others and building relationships.

Here are some examples of social skills, as shared by Marike de Witt in her book “The Young Child in Context: A psycho-social perspective“.

These social skills, as well as the

• Cooperating
• Being helpful
• Compromising
• Giving
• Sharing
• Taking turns
• Negotiating
• Showing sympathy
• Having empathy
• Imitating
• Protecting
• Assuming responsibility
• Respecting others’ views
• Showing attachment

Antisocial behaviours prevent children from communicating effectively. These are a few examples:

• Selfishness
• Telling lies
• Aggression
• Egocentrism
• Taking others’ possessions
• Bossiness
• Destructiveness
• Prejudice

In order to help children build social skills, it is necessary to first understand the social stages and milestones they will progress through so you can support them at their stage of maturity.

For example, there is no need to worry that your 2-year-old won’t share his toys as this is normal at his age. He is not yet mature enough to understand the concept of sharing.

De Witt divides social development into three main stages: the Infancy, Childhood and Youthful periods.

This stage begins at birth and ends at the first signs of speech. During this stage, infants learn to tell the difference between their own bodies and the environment around them.

Social development is strongly influenced by the mother-child relationship because the way a mother cares for her child will either convey tenderness or anxiety.

The childhood period begins when a child uses clear speech and lasts up until the need for playmates of the same age emerges.

By following the example set by the parents, a child begins to classify his own behaviour as good or bad. He also realizes the difference between enemies and friends.

During this stage, children acquire language as well as cultural customs, such as hygiene, toilet or eating practices.

This period begins when children prefer to play with others of the same age. More complex skills of interpersonal behaviour are learnt, such as cooperation, competition and compromise.

Here is a table of common milestones that occur at various ages as a child matures. It is a summary of the milestones in the book “The Young Child in Context: A psycho-social perspective“.

12 Months

• Shows affection for people she knows
• Likes to be around loved ones – to always hear or see them
• Passes an object or toy to an adult when asked, and sometimes even spontaneously
• Waves goodbye
• Begins to play games such as hide-and-seek

18 Months

• Plays alone happily but likes to be near a familiar adult or older sibling
• Likes other children but does not play with them
• Shows affection for family members, pets and dolls
• Begins to imitate people
• Repeats actions and expressions that receive a positive reaction

2 Years

• Likes people but is still egocentric
• Follows caregivers around the house and demands constant attention
• Imitates domestic activities
• May take turns but has difficulty sharing toys or adult attention
• Throws tantrums in order to be understood
• Happily plays near other children, but not yet with them (parallel play)
• Sometimes hits or bites children to get a reaction
• Can role play e. g. put a doll to sleep or wash the dishes

3 Years

• Begins to behave unselfishly
• Shows affection for younger siblings
• Likes helping with domestic activities such as shopping or cleaning
• Begins to share with others
• Enjoys playing alone and with other children
• Begins to show a preference for certain friends
• Begins to show sympathy when someone is upset
• Engages in make-believe play with dolls and toys and enjoys pretending to be someone else
• Still sees most things from their own perspective
• Talks about self, family and possessions
• Shows empathy with characters in stories
• Can wait for you to finish before talking
• Sometimes has an imaginary friend

4 Years

• Really enjoys the company of friends and can play in a group
• Often has a best friend
• Is strong willed
• Begins to form a sense of humour
• Understands taking turns and sharing
• Shows concern and sympathy towards younger siblings and friends
• Engages in dramatic make-believe play
• Becomes competitive
• Social skills develop such as – saying please and thank you (if taught), greeting people, talking to them, and showing respect towards others in the home

5 Years

• Behaves in a more controlled and sensible way
• Cooperates with companions and understands the need for rules and fair play
• Has a definite sense of humour
• Shows tenderness towards and is protective of younger children and pets
• Enjoys competitive games
• Enjoys fantasy games
• Chooses own friends (usually of the same sex)
• Begins to learn the value of compromise and negotiation

As you can see, sharing is a struggle for very young children. The advice is usually to divert and redirect attention when dealing with toddlers [source].

The most important activity your children can engage in, in order to develop their social skills, is play.

When preschool children play together they learn together.

Here are some reasons play is important for your child’s social development.

1. It teaches cooperation and how to take turns
2. Children are able to try different roles and personalities
3. Play teaches children to verbalize their needs
4. Kids learn to lead and follow
5. It provides a broad base for the use of social language skills
6. Children learn to respect others’ rights and possessions
7. They develop an awareness of themselves as a member of a group
8. Through play, they understand their own culture and values
9. They gain knowledge about society’s rules and about group responsibility
10. Play develops a positive self-image and self-concept
11. It teaches how to participate in a group
12. It promotes gender-role identification
13. Children develop common goals and interests as they play together
14. They learn to see others’ perspectives
15. Children experience delight when playing

If you are wondering what activities would be most effective to help a child develop positive social skills, the answer is that you don’t really need a list of specific activities to “teach” them about socializing.

Rather, it is about giving them enough opportunities to play and interact and encouraging certain types of games and activities that involve interaction and cooperation.

You can discuss or play social skills games around topics like feelings and how to cope with conflict, but it will only be through experiencing these feelings and conflicts that your children will really learn these lessons and understand these concepts in a meaningful way.

Here are some simple social development activities for 3-5-year-olds.

1.

Invite friends over for a playdate and take your children to play with friends as often as you can. Playing with siblings is also good interaction.

The more opportunities your child has to mix with others, the more they will practise socializing.

Don’t leave your young child alone with a friend if he is not yet comfortable. Give him time to build trust.

2.

Play group games that involve taking turns and following rules.

Children will learn with time that social interaction is fun and that in order for the game to work, they need to consider each other and all be active participants.

Also, encourage musical games such as musical chairs where there are rules to follow and children have to compete while still considering each other and being comfortable with losing sometimes (e.g. if your friend gets to a chair before you).

This takes maturity to understand.

3.

Board games are an excellent activity for older preschool children. These should have multiple players (even if you start with 2), rules and an objective (e.g. in Snakes and Ladders the objective is to reach the end first).

It can be a complex task for a child to learn to follow rules and keep the game positive while competing with friends or family members.

Younger children can start with simple card games or very basic board games.

4.

Fantasy, or dress-up play, is an important part of learning to socialize. During this kind of play, children make sense of their world and the people around them by role-playing.

This is how they “practise” being an adult, behaving and interacting as an adult would. They also act out their own social customs and norms.

Fantasy play is a great social learning activity for children playing with one or more friends, as well as for smaller children playing alone.

Even though the child is alone, the activity revolves around pretending to interact with others, which is a great way to safely act out an interaction.

Provide opportunities at home by having a dress-up section in your child’s room. Provide different themed clothes and props and change them frequently to encourage new ideas.

5.

When children play with blocks together, they initially play alongside each other, building their own structures.

With time and maturity, they begin to share blocks, take an interest in each other’s structures and finally end up building something together.

This is one of those activities where you will see this progression clearly.

By the time children are building together, they are learning to share, listen to each other’s ideas, problem-solve, organize, share opinions, negotiate, compromise and work towards a common goal.

6.

Sensory play is a fun activity that children love to do together. Whether they are playing with water, mud or sand, there is much sharing, negotiating and cooperation. It also often leads to fantasy play.

7.

When children are involved in creative activities such as drawing, painting, cutting, pasting or moulding playdough, they are often deep in conversation at the same time.

These activities usually happen around a table where the children are sitting calmly and are fully engaged with their playmates.

Some of the most intriguing and complex socializing I have witnessed has been around an art table.

8.

Reading to a child is my absolute favourite activity and one with so many benefits. Stories are all about people and animals and their relationships and interactions.

Read to your child daily and she will constantly be listening to how characters socialize, deal with problems, show emotions and generally interact.

You may find it hard to explain to a young child what empathy is, for example, but you can certainly teach the message with a story and let your child experience this trait on her own through listening.

9.

Along with reading, discussions are another way to teach your children social skills.

Use every opportunity possible to discuss how your children feel, to talk about their friendships and even discuss the characters in the stories and how they handled certain situations.

When your children experience conflict with a friend, discussing possible solutions or how they can handle it is a far more educational experience than immediately intervening.

In my experience teaching in the classroom, the children who had lovely manners were taught at home as toddlers. Those who hadn’t been taught seldom spontaneously said please or thank you without being constantly prompted and reminded.

It is too late to teach a 3 or 4-year-old manners and courtesy. Start as early as possible.

11.

The best socializing and learning occurs naturally – when children are playing freely with each other.

You may choose to present and encourage certain activities, such as an art project, but know that any time spent playing with others is time they are learning valuable social skills.

Try not to let screen time or too many planned activities get in the way of real play and socializing.

…and don’t forget these two important points:

12.

A child’s primary relationship – with his parents – is the basis for all future socializing.

The relationship should be warm and close. Your child should feel love, security, acceptance, trust and self-esteem.

13.

Children learn about socially acceptable behaviour by watching their parents. They learn more from watching you than from listening to you. 

I hope you enjoyed these ideas and activities for developing social skills in preschoolers.

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100+ Social Skills Activities For Preschoolers

Inside: 100 + social skills activities for preschoolers that teach them about manners, making and keeping friends, understanding their emotions, and more!

Social skills activities for preschoolers helps teach young children valuable social skills. There are many benefits to children developing pro-social skills. For instance, research indicates that academic success in the first few years of school is significantly based on the development of children’s social and emotional skills. When kids lack crucial social skills, it makes it difficult for them to learn.  For example, if a child struggles with listening and controlling their negative behaviors, focusing during class and retaining the information they are taught can be challenging.

Essential Social Skills For Preschoolers

Many kindergarten teachers report that in order for preschoolers to make a smooth transition to school, they need to have certain social and emotional skills. They need to be able to:

• have positive relationships with peers
• listen and follow directions
• solve social problems
• effectively communicate emotions
• work well with others
• use good manners

I’ve compiled a list of social skills activities for preschoolers to help teach young children how to get along with others, how to make and keep friends, and how to effectively communicate their emotions.  I hope you find this list of activities useful!

Feelings and Emotions Social Skills Activities For Preschoolers

1. Feelings Identification Activities by Kiddie Matters
2. Activities To Teach Kids About Feelings by Gift of Curiosity
3. Emoji Feeling Faces: Feelings Recognition
4. Identifying Feelings With Self Portraits by Still Playing School
5. Free Printable Inside Out Bingo Game by Carrie Elle
6. Lego Emotion Themed ‘I-Spy’ Game w/Free Printable by And Next Comes L
7. 5 Circle Time Lessons About Emotions by No Time For Flash Cards
8. Feelings Activities & Fun Ideas For Kids by Childfun
9. Playful Activities to Help Kids Learn About Feelings by Play Dr.Mom
10. Books About Emotions For Preschool by Pre-K Pages
11. Tools For Teaching Emotions In Kids by Laughing Kids Learn
12. Musical Feelings Games by Fumbling Through Parenthood
13. Inside Out Feelings Tic Tac Toe by The Creative Social Worker
14. Best Empathy Games, Apps, and Websites For Kids by Common Sense Media
15. Printable Emotion Cards for Preschoolers by From ABCs To ACTs
16. Paper Plate Emotion Masks by No Time For Flash Cards
17. Preschool Feelings Theme by Lanie’s Little Learners
18. Teaching Emotions With Songs, Activities, and Games by Testy Yet Trying
19. Happy Sad Sorting by The Princess And The Tot
20. Emotion Story Stones For Kids by Where Imagination Grows
21. Helping Kids Identify Mood by Kori At Home
22. Emotion Matching Game by B-Inspired Mama
23. Free Printable Emotions Board Game by Life Over C’s
24. Color My Feelings by Teach Beside Me
25. Discussing Emotions With Pasta Faces by Having Fun At Chelle’s House

Related Article: The Ultimate Guide To Social Skills Activities For Kids

Social Skills Activities For Preschoolers To Build Listening Skills

1. Free Conversation Game by Speech Paths
2. Listening Activities w/ Blocks by Hands On As We Grow
3. Make Popsicle Puppets and Practice Communication by Education. com
4. Play Musical Statues by Education.com
5. Ways To Support Children’s Listening Skills by Sing Dance Play Learn
6. Do Three Things Listening Game-by Exploration Laboratories
7. Following Directions And Listening Game: Teacher Says! by Coffee Cups and Crayons
8. 20 Listening Games And Activities For Preschoolers by Virtual Speech Center
9. Back To Back; Ear To Ear: A Language and Listening Game by Mosswood Connections
10. Do As I Say, Not As I Do by Mosswood Connections
11. Teach Kids To Follow Directions With Relay Races by Coffee Cups and Crayons
12. Following Directions Grid Game by Kids Activities Blog
13. Five Playful Ways To Work On Listening Skills by Playing With Words 365
14. Following Directions Lessons by Elementary School Counseling
15. Can You Draw Something You Can’t See by Nurture Store
16. Following Directions Game by One Stop Counseling Shop
17. Free Following Directions Activities by Learning Specialist Materials
18. Put On Your Listening Ears by Stories by Storie
19. Free Printable Simon Says Game by 730 Sage Street
20. Listening And Learning Activities With Pete The Cat by Kathy Griffin’s Teaching Strategies

Friendship Social Skills Activities For Preschoolers

1. How To Be A Friend by Gifts of Curiosity
2. How To Play With Friends w/free printable by Powerful Mothering
3. Leonardo The Terrible Monster (How To Be a Good Friend Activity and Game by The OT Toolbox
4. Friendship Crafts, Activities, and Printables by Kids Soup
5. Pass The Ice Cream: Sharing Activity for Preschoolers by Sunny Day Family
6. Friendship Art by Munchkins And Mom
7. Kindness Postcards by Growing Book By Book
8. Friendship: Exploring Being A Friend by The Kinder Corner
9. 10 Books About Making Friends by Growing Book by Book
10. The Rainbow Fish Book: Activities, Staff, and Snacks by Mom On Time Out
11. Free Taking Turns And Sharing Songs And Rhymes by Bits of Positivity
12. Good Behavior Games For Preschool by Parents. com
13. Pony Bead Friendship Reminder Bracelet Craft by The PreSchool Toolbox
14. Our Friendship Flower by Dream A World
15. Hands Are Not For Hitting by Rhinestones & Pinecones
16. Free Friendship Resources by Whimsy Workshop Teaching
17. Teaching Kids The Keys To Friendship by Simple At Home
18. Friendship Tree by Primary Displays
19. Teaching Social Emotional Skills With A Solutions Chart by Littlest Scholars
20. Free Social Story: Being A Good Friend by Miss Allison’s Class
21. Games For Teaching Boundaries by eHow
22. Kindness Scavenger Hunt by Kiddie Matters

Teamwork/Cooperation Social Skills Activities For Preschoolers

1. Five Activities That Promote Teamwork  by Teach Preschool
2. Group Art Activity: Tennis Ball Painting by Anna Reyner
3. Roll The Ball by PreK and K Sharing
4. Team Puzzle Play by Simple Home Blessing
5. The Peanut Game by Education. com
6. Team Building Activities For Kids by Kid’s Activities Blog
7. Bean Sort Easy Activity by Busy Toddler
8. Matching Paths by Busy Toddler
9. 9 Cooperative Games For Preschoolers 
10. Best Cooperative Games For Noncompetitive Kids by My Little Poppies
11. Social Time by Mrs. Winter’s Bliss
12. Preschool Engineering by Handmade Kid’s Art
13. Team Building Games by Tickled Pink In Primary
14. Parachute Play In Preschool by Teach Preschool
15. Race To Fill The Cup by Frugal Fun For Boys And Girls

Good Manners Social Skills Activities For Preschoolers

1. Manners Matter Freebie by The Helpful Counselor
2. Minding Our Manners by Sherbees
3. Fun Activities That Teach Manners by How Does She
4. Free Manners Printable Pack by Kori At Home
5. Good Manners Themes and Activities by Child Care Lounge
6. The Manners Song by DLTK Growing Together
7. Teaching Kids Manners by The Relaxed Homeschool
8. Little Mandy Manners (video) by Tiny Grads
9. Free Manners matching Cards by Deb@Living Montessori Now
10. Let’s Learn Manners Printable Pack by To The Moon And back Blog
11. Monster Manners Game by File Folder Fun
12. Manners Social Stories And Activities by Special Needs For Special Kids
13. Games That Teach Kids Good Manners by How To Adult
14. Can You Teach My Alligator Manners (Online Game) by Disney Junior
15. Free Behavior Sort Cards by Mrs. Ricca’s Kindergarten

Decision Making Social Skills Activities For Preschoolers

1. Tattling Vs. Reporting File Folder Sorting Game by Kiddie Matters
2. I Am A Bucket Filler by Kiddie Matters
3. Making Good Choices by Pocket Of Preschool
4. Making Good Choices At School by Peace, Love, and Learning
5. Life’s Good Choices And Bad Sorting Activity by Miss Pentagirl Kinderpuzzle
6. Teaching Kids About Respect by Kiddie Matters
7. Choosing Good Friends by Your Life Uncommon
8. Lego People Challenge by You Clever Monkey
9. What Pet Should I Get Decision Making and Graphing Preschool Activity  by Playground Parkbench
10. Should I Share My Ice Cream by Views From A Step Stool

Development of self-care skills in preschool children