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amazingcreative1
Babies creative!
Funny twims babies fighting every day!!#funnymoments #babytiktok #cute
2.3K Likes, 41 Comments. TikTok video from Babies creative! (@amazingcreative1): "Funny twims babies fighting every day!!#funnymoments #babytiktok #cute". Funny twins babies fighting!. 拉德斯基进行曲.
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拉德斯基进行曲 - 高兴
queen_lizzy201
Elizabeth Rose
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 #funnybabies #toddlerfight #kidsgonecrazy #funnyasf
11.2K Likes, 177 Comments. TikTok video from Elizabeth Rose (@queen_lizzy201): "🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 #funnybabies #toddlerfight #kidsgonecrazy #funnyasf". original sound.
210.2K views|
original sound - Elizabeth Rose
bad_ace16
BeNg
Babies fighting over toys 😄#cute #funny #funnyvideos
909.3K Likes, 11.8K Comments. TikTok video from BeNg (@bad_ace16): "Babies fighting over toys 😄#cute #funny #funnyvideos". original sound.
12.5M views|
original sound - BeNg
cookiejones68
user4407193029322
#fights #funny #4u #fyupageシ #LinkBudsNeverOff #OREOBdayStack #baby #kids #bossbaby
1.8K Likes, 34 Comments. TikTok video from user4407193029322 (@cookiejones68): "#fights#funny#4u#fyupageシ #LinkBudsNeverOff #OREOBdayStack #baby #kids#bossbaby".
Baby sister beats up Big sister. original sound.
64.2K views|
original sound - user4407193029322
khabyfans25
khabyfans
#kid #kids #kidsfight #fight #crying #kidsfunny #funnyvideos #kidtiktok
TikTok video from khabyfans (@khabyfans25): "#kid #kids #kidsfight #fight #crying #kidsfunny #funnyvideos #kidtiktok". original sound.
9111 views|
original sound - khabyfans
itzdiogoferraz2
Itzdiogoferraz
Jake Paul’s next opponents🔥#fyp #viral #foryou #itzdiogoferraz #mma #ufc #ufcrussia #ufceurope #funny #kid #fight #crazy #virall #xyzbca #zyxcba #fy
701.
9K Likes, 11.1K Comments. TikTok video from Itzdiogoferraz (@itzdiogoferraz2): "Jake Paul’s next opponents🔥#fyp #viral #foryou #itzdiogoferraz #mma #ufc #ufcrussia #ufceurope #funny #kid #fight #crazy #virall #xyzbca #zyxcba #fy". original sound.
7.6M views|
original sound - Wubba lubba dub dub
randomfunnyvidsssss
amadoubah
#funny #vids #babies #babyvidoes #fights
1.5K Likes, 14 Comments. TikTok video from amadoubah (@randomfunnyvidsssss): "#funny #vids #babies #babyvidoes #fights". Two Babies Fight over Food. original sound.
69.9K views|
original sound - amadoubah
watch_tv_moments
watch_tv_moments
#fyp #funny #beyondscaredstright
813.
1K Likes, 3.7K Comments. TikTok video from watch_tv_moments (@watch_tv_moments): "#fyp #funny #beyondscaredstright". Kid fights inmate 😳 | Part 3. original sound.
11M views|
original sound - watch_tv_moments
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jayceart: Just two kids fighting crime : jayceart: Just two kids fighting crime
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melonmemes: Follow us on Instagram for the best content! https://www.instagram.com/realmelonmemes: Dads when they see their kids fighting Dads when someone turns on light in the car melonmemes: Follow us on Instagram for the best content! https://www.instagram.com/realmelonmemes
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Must be there juuls: *kids fighting* Literally everyone in the school: Must be there juuls
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GMO: LISTEN BEFORE YOU DISMISS GENETICALLY MODIFIED ANIMALS CONSIDER OUR LATEST CREATION SAY NO TO GMO! BY SPLICING INN SPIDER DNA, WE'VE MANAGED TO CREATE AN EIGHT-LEGGED TURKEY/ GOD.
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GMO via /r/funny https://ift.tt/2NYW1pu: LISTEN BEFORE YOU DISMISS GENETICALLY MODIFIED ANIMALS CONSIDER OUR LATEST CREATION SAY NO TO GMO! BY SPLICING INN SPIDER DNA, WE'VE MANAGED TO CREATE AN EIGHT-LEGGED TURKEY/ GOD. EIGHT MY DRUMSTICKS NO KIDS FIGHTING AT THANKSGIVING PER TURKEY PERHAPS PERHAPS WE WERE WRONG OH, NO. NO, NO, NO. THE SPIDURKEY ISN'T FOOD WHAT? AHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHA smbc-comics.com GMO via /r/funny https://ift.tt/2NYW1pu
GMO via /r/funny https://ift.tt/2NYW1pu
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GMO: LISTEN BEFORE YOU DISMISS GENETICALLY MODIFIED ANIMALS CONSIDER OUR LATEST CREATION SAY NO TO GMO! BY SPLICING INN SPIDER DNA, WE'VE MANAGED TO CREATE AN EIGHT-LEGGED TURKEY/ GOD.
EIGHT MY DRUMSTICKS NO KIDS FIGHTING AT THANKSGIVING PER TURKEY PERHAPS PERHAPS WE WERE WRONG OH, NO. NO, NO, NO. THE SPIDURKEY ISN'T FOOD WHAT? AHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHA smbc-comics.com GMO
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Dad said we could fight tho: Mom niggas when they catch their kids fighting Let me just step right in Dad said we could fight tho
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<p><a href="http://evil-shenanigans-alpha.tumblr.com/post/172228402990/pickupyourgun-proudlyconservative">evil-shenanigans-alpha</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://pickupyourgun.tumblr.com/post/172228047483/proudlyconservative-pennsylvanian-patriot">pickupyourgun</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://proudlyconservative.
tumblr.com/post/172226178373/pennsylvanian-patriot-read-another-book-i-am">proudlyconservative</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://pennsylvanian-patriot.tumblr.com/post/172223791989/read-another-book-i-am-begging-you">pennsylvanian-patriot</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Read another book I am begging you</p></blockquote> <p>But, if that is going to be the only book you read, at least understand that the plot is essentially a bunch of armed school kids fighting back against a mass murderer.</p> </blockquote> <p>Everyone at Hogwats was armed…</p> </blockquote> <p>And the government tried to disarm them and keep them blind.</p> </blockquote>: I'D RATHER HAVE A WAND. <p><a href="http://evil-shenanigans-alpha.tumblr.com/post/172228402990/pickupyourgun-proudlyconservative">evil-shenanigans-alpha</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://pickupyourgun.
tumblr.com/post/172228047483/proudlyconservative-pennsylvanian-patriot">pickupyourgun</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://proudlyconservative.tumblr.com/post/172226178373/pennsylvanian-patriot-read-another-book-i-am">proudlyconservative</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://pennsylvanian-patriot.tumblr.com/post/172223791989/read-another-book-i-am-begging-you">pennsylvanian-patriot</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Read another book I am begging you</p></blockquote> <p>But, if that is going to be the only book you read, at least understand that the plot is essentially a bunch of armed school kids fighting back against a mass murderer.</p> </blockquote> <p>Everyone at Hogwats was armed…</p> </blockquote> <p>And the government tried to disarm them and keep them blind.</p> </blockquote>
<p><a href="http://evil-shenanigans-alpha.
tumblr.com/post/172228402990/pickupyourgun-proudlyconservative">evil-shenan...
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<p><a href="https://thepragmaticconservative.tumblr.com/post/172238710862/proudlyconservative-pennsylvanian-patriot">thepragmaticconservative</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://proudlyconservative.tumblr.com/post/172226178373/pennsylvanian-patriot-read-another-book-i-am">proudlyconservative</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://pennsylvanian-patriot.tumblr.com/post/172223791989/read-another-book-i-am-begging-you">pennsylvanian-patriot</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Read another book I am begging you</p></blockquote> <p>But, if that is going to be the only book you read, at least understand that the plot is essentially a bunch of armed school kids fighting back against a mass murderer.</p> </blockquote> <p>What the left seems to fail to grasp here is that they aren’t Dumbledores Army, they’re the Ministry of Magic.
They aren’t Harry Potter, they’re Umbridge.</p></blockquote>: I'D RATHER HAVE A WAND. <p><a href="https://thepragmaticconservative.tumblr.com/post/172238710862/proudlyconservative-pennsylvanian-patriot">thepragmaticconservative</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://proudlyconservative.tumblr.com/post/172226178373/pennsylvanian-patriot-read-another-book-i-am">proudlyconservative</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://pennsylvanian-patriot.tumblr.com/post/172223791989/read-another-book-i-am-begging-you">pennsylvanian-patriot</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Read another book I am begging you</p></blockquote> <p>But, if that is going to be the only book you read, at least understand that the plot is essentially a bunch of armed school kids fighting back against a mass murderer.</p> </blockquote> <p>What the left seems to fail to grasp here is that they aren’t Dumbledores Army, they’re the Ministry of Magic.
They aren’t Harry Potter, they’re Umbridge.</p></blockquote>
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The child beats the parents, the child beats the mother. Advice from a practicing psychologist
Hello, dear readers of the blog of accessible psychology.
We keep talking about childish aggression.
We have already discussed the following topics:
- Children's aggression from one to seven years
- Why do children fight?
For a detailed analysis of this issue, see the video: "Children's aggression".
As you can see, we have answered the question “Why and why?” in detail, and now we will deal with another burning question:
I want to note right away that we will talk about children under the age of 3-3. It is during this period that the issue of child aggression is usually particularly acute. Why so, you can read in the topic about children's aggression.
The first incidents usually occur when a one-year-old child fights. In these situations, the child most often beats the mother. Because it is his mother who is the closest person to him during this period. Often this happens simply from overwhelming emotions of the baby. After all, a child in a year cannot yet assess whether he is hurting another. And therefore it happens that from overflowing emotions the child clings to the mother SO much that it hurts her to tears.
In such situations, one must understand that the child does not hurt the mother on purpose.
Or there may be another option: the child hits the parents in the face for joy, or he is just wondering how this happens.
Adult task in this case:
- Exact feedback. Many parents laugh when such a small child hits them. After all, often it doesn’t even hurt, but from the outside it looks funny (like a Pug on an Elephant).
But with our fun, we show the child that we approve of his behavior. And why then be surprised if such "entertainment" is fixed later? It is very important to correctly show your emotions to the child. If a child hit his mother, hurt her, she should be upset, say about it in words that she usually says to a child when it hurts. After all, how else will he learn to understand the consequences of his actions?!
- Demonstration of an acceptable way of expressing emotions. We explain to the child that you can’t beat your mother, but you can hug like this, or stroke like this. It is very important not only to prohibit, but also to give an alternative, because the child still needs to somehow express his emotions.
It also happens that a child beats his parents as a protest.
After all, when a child starts walking, a large number of prohibitions suddenly appear: “Don't go there, don't get in here, don't touch that,” and so on. Of course, this causes a protest among the little one, but it is most interesting for him to climb on the table and the window sill.
And here screams, fists and teeth come into play.
A child beats his mother, who forbids him something. How can this be avoided?
First, we need to think over the system of prohibitions. That is, think about what is really dangerous for the little one, and what can be rearranged, raised higher to remove the child from access. A large number of prohibitions causes proportionally greater aggression in the child. Why should we provoke the child ourselves? There should not be many prohibitions, but they must be precise, firm and unshakable. Then the child will be much calmer to respond to them. The prohibition system is a rather complicated issue, which we discussed in detail in the Secrets of Education program
Secondly, you need to think about distractions. Sometimes it happens that even if there are not many prohibitions, the child still persistently tries to break them. We need to figure out how we can distract him, come up with an alternative.
Well, for example, you have an active kid who likes to climb on the back or side of the sofa and jump from there to the seat. Of course, every time you have a heart attack, because. the child may roll onto the floor. And when you forbid it, the child starts to fight. Solution: Find something safe that's just as fun to jump on. It can be a sports mat or an old mattress, or special soft large pillows. As a result, the child is happy, the mother is calm.
How to respond if a child hits the mother?
Many parents admit that they do not know how to react in such a situation.
- if a child fights with parents constantly, then it is quite possible to predict such behavior. You can intercept your hand during the swing and very strictly, but without anger, say that you can’t fight. In this case, eye contact is very important. Then you voice the child’s emotions (“I understand that you are upset”), explain the reason for the ban (“we have to go to bed now, otherwise we won’t be able to go for a walk in the evening and won’t see your friends”), give an alternative or “lure” (“ let’s go to bed soon, there you are already waiting for, probably, a dream about Luntik”).
Repeat if necessary.
- I personally consider hitting a child as a last resort. Sometimes it works, but very often it looks like this: mother and daughter are sitting. The girl beats her mother, she in response hits her daughter on the arm and says: “You can’t fight!” The girl beats her mother again... history repeats itself. The girl learns from the situation: “You can fight, because mom fights.” You can't argue with that. I still understand this situation if a mother beats a child a little and says: “Look, it hurts you, but it hurts me too when you beat me.”
Why small children fight. What to do if a child fights: advice from a psychologist
: Reading time:
A one-year-old woman beats her mother and keeps the whole family in fear? Yes, and it happens! Why and what to do tells child psychologist Elena Lagunova .
A one-year-old child with an equally innocent look can ask to be held and beat relatives. Because they don't really understand the difference.
At the reception, my young mother Katya complains:
“My one-year-old child fights, Sevushka beats everyone – me, dad, brother. The cat also gets it, although this is probably for everyone. What will happen next? Well, okay, when something is not for him, but more often it’s simple, for no reason. Maybe with a cheerful face come up and knock. I almost roar from surprise (and even pain), I say: “My dear, sunshine, don’t be angry. You can't do that, it hurts mommy. Do not do this anymore". And he laughs. Doesn't understand words. And the playground too. Like someone else's toy - selects. And to whom is he so aggressive, just a bandit! Is it because it's a boy? Maybe it's time to treat him? Or a belt, as papa suggests? So tell me, is this generally normal, no?”.
At this time, her son Sevushka looks at me with angelic eyes, takes timid steps around the office, calmly plays with toys and, you know, doesn't look like a bandit at all.
Ekaterina can be understood.
Every parent wants to raise a child who can communicate in a friendly way. But how to do that? Why such aggression at this age?
Reasons. Why does a child fight at 1 year old
Almost all one year old children fight. It even happens that a child 1 year old bites non-stop. And there are four main reasons for this.
The child asks for an item he likes. At this age, the baby discovers that taking or hitting is one of the ways to get what you want. And tries again and again.
Tries to say something. A one-year-old baby may not speak or speak poorly. How it sometimes hurts him that he cannot convey his thought! And he understands the speech of others with difficulty, especially words that do not refer to specific objects:
“This is a spoon, this is a cat, but your “no”, where is it? Once I heard him next to my mother, the other - next to the stove. Is it everywhere?"
Develop your baby's speech, and by the age of two, in many cases, instead of a fight, he will begin to negotiate.
In the meantime, a child bites at 1 year old, trying to get in touch, for example, he shows his displeasure or interest.
Does not control emotions. The feelings of a one-year-old quickly replace each other. Today it is raging, and tomorrow it is calm. He has yet to learn how to control emotions and express them in acceptable ways. Often the kid is so captured by anger that he beats everyone who comes to hand. A one-year-old child hits his mother in the face, and when he calms down, he hugs and strokes again. A bite or a blow to the face does not differ in meaning for a child, he just fights, although it seems to his mother otherwise.
Draws attention. Only after three years the baby will learn to evaluate whether he is doing well or badly. In a year, he seeks to get any emotions of an adult, not understanding the difference between positive and negative. Let's say he climbed to the outlet and saw a whole performance: mom frowns, breaks away and scolds verbosely. He will definitely ask her to speak again - he will crawl there again.
A one-year-old child bites and pinches, because he can perceive what is happening as a game. Believe me, this act has nothing to do with genuine cruelty.
It is impossible to say in a year whether a child is aggressive or not. Too much depends on the mood, the situation. It will be possible to understand whether he is calm or cocky by the age of three or four.
Of course, this behavior may be a sign of a disorder. . But the disease always has several signs, something else should strain the parent. With autism, for example, a child not only fights, but also makes poor contact, does not look into the eyes. All warning signs can be discussed with a psychiatrist, who is recommended for all babies to undergo at the age of one year.
“If the love of fighting is an age thing, it turns out that it will go away on its own?”. True, but only in part. Competent actions of an adult will help the baby to master life without assault. And because of the illiterate, normal pugnacity can develop into genuine aggressiveness.
What to do. How to wean a 1-year-old child to fight
So, a 1-year-old child fights, what should parents do? Here are some tips on how to wean a child to fight in a year.
1 Speak briefly and clearly. Repeat the same thought many times. Firmly and confidently, without turning to shouting. Not only forbid, but also teach what can be done. Best of all, the child will learn the prohibition if you combine words and actions, set an example.
2 Help me understand that fighting is ineffective. And teach other ways to negotiate with a peer or an adult: change, wait, etc.
3 Suggest an alternative. If a child in the game swings to hit, catch his hand and say: “No. Protect me. You can hit the ball." And show me how it's done. If a child swings in a fit of anger that has seized him, it is better to step back and say: “You can’t. Protect me. You're angry. Stomp and scream so that the anger goes away.
4 Don't punish. Even if the kid gets into a fight again and again, you should not spank him or shout loudly.
The child will be completely confused: why does the parent forbid to beat with words, but does it himself? Children trust the example of an adult more than speech. If the baby is persistent, you can increase the distance with him, but no more.
5 Follow your feelings. Being angry at a kid for fighting is seriously stupid. Sooner or later, the child will begin to cope with his emotions. And parental incontinence can lead to the most sad consequences.
6 Let's give positive feedback. The child is sensitive to parental words. If you say: "Greedy", "bandit", "fighter", it will be so. Try to suggest that he is "generous" and "Friendly".
What if the child hit back the offender? Here the opinions of psychologists differ, but most believe that giving change should be taught closer to seven years. Until this age, kids cannot correlate the strength of the impact on them and the strength of the response - because of this, they can give "surrender" much stronger than resentment.
Sometimes parents also need to work on themselves
Asking how to wean a child from biting at 1 year old, one should also analyze why the behavior of the baby causes such fear in the parent himself.
Let me return to the story from the beginning of the article. Together with mother Katya, we analyzed her feelings. It turned out that she is afraid of childish anger and in general any aggression. Her parents taught her that anger is very bad, that you shouldn't be angry. Therefore, fights and put mom to a standstill.
It's actually okay to be angry . Anger arises when the desired does not match the result. The task of parents is not to suppress the feelings of the baby, but to help him learn to express them without harm to others.
I explained all this to my mother Ekaterina. She left reassured and delighted that there was no need to treat the child. A month later, I received a message from her on the social network. Seva almost stopped fighting, began to hug his mother more often.
And even "I love" learned to say.
Fights a year are common. They must be dealt with calmly and decisively. Instead of scolding, tell your child, “No. Protect me".
Almost half of the letters from parents of children under three years of age contain the theme of child "violence": the child fights, pinches, bites.
Despite the fact that a lot is written on this topic on the Internet, apparently, the issue remains relevant
Let's dwell on the main mistakes and tactics for solving this problem.
Why does the baby fight
1. The child is playing.
In this case, the baby can simply tap his hands on anything or, having a purely playful motivation, slap his hands on the mother's face, for example. So he entertains himself, not meaning anything bad.
From 9 months to about 2 years of age, this is very common.
2. The child is angry or offended.
A small child who gets angry has almost no means to express this anger constructively.
He cannot tell you what angered him, he cannot restrain himself or distract himself in order to prevent “beating”. Therefore, he instinctively fights if he is dissatisfied with something.
Your task is to give the child the right guidelines, understanding that the child’s behavior itself is completely normal, naturally, it requires correction, but not condemnation .
Do not blame the child's vicious nature, his genetic baggage, the bad influence of peers, if you are faced with child aggression. Just accept it as a fact - little kids sometimes fight.
REGARDLESS WHY A CHILD FIGHTS - WHETHER IT IS PLAY MOTIVATION OR HE IS ANGRY, HIS ACTIONS SHOULD BE STOPPED.
Often, parents do not react in any way to blows if the kid is playing, and punish him if he hits someone as a result of anger. This is the wrong tactic, it is difficult for a child to understand you if you behave inconsistently in this regard.
How not to behave in response to a child's aggression
No need to hit the child
It is generally not necessary to beat people, especially to beat children.
“... If you beat your child, it is, in any case, a tragedy for him: either a tragedy of pain and resentment, or a tragedy of habitual indifference and cruel childish patience.
But this tragedy is for a child. And you yourself - an adult, strong person, a person and a citizen, a creature with brains and muscles, you, striking at the delicate, weak growing body of a child, what are you? First of all, you are unbearably comical, and if it were not for your child's pity, one could laugh to tears watching your pedagogical barbarism. At the very best, at the very best, you are like a monkey raising its young…”A.S. Makarenko
In addition to the moral value of not using physical violence against children, one must take into account: violence breeds violence .
If you hit a child, he will fight too . Maybe not personally with you (you are still stronger), but he will beat those who are weaker than him.
You taught him that! As some parents (ideological supporters of physical punishments) say - “And if he doesn’t understand otherwise!”. Well, your child can reason the same way, beat those who otherwise do not understand or do not want to obey him. It could be younger siblings, animals, or peers at school. You never know who will not want to obey him!
And maybe the time will come when you yourself don't understand something, and the child will already become stronger than you...
If you don't want the child to fight, don't beat him. Otherwise, you are just phony: you say one thing and do another.
No need to scare the child
Small children are frightened when people want to influence them. Mom can say:
"I don't need such a bad boy!"
"I'll leave you here now if you behave so badly!"
“If you do this, I will lock you in the bath!”
All these and similar phrases are intended to frighten the child, upset him.
Aggression, the result of which is just a fight will only increase.
It is not worth demonstratively suffering
Surprisingly, parents love staged performances on the topic: “How you hurt me!”. Especially mothers and grandmothers.
The child lacks empathy (the ability to empathize with you) until school age. Yes, he can come up and “pity” you: stroke your head. But this is not an act of true empathy, it is a learned behavior.
Don't count on your display of suffering to deter a child from being beaten at the next opportunity. Will not turn away. Often, kids even alternate with pleasure: stroked - hit - stroked again. For a child, it's just a game.
You can read about other actions that should not be taken if the child is fighting.
How to behave when a child is fighting
The only correct method is to KEEP THE CHILD.
Children begin to show aggression at such a tender age that it is not difficult at all.
The only thing you need is to understand the emotions of the child. If you see that the baby is angry, be prepared for the fact that he can use "force". You don't have to stand still while the baby is rampaging and hitting you. Hold his hand so he can't hit you.
In this case, your “no!” must mean a direct physical impossibility for the child.
If every time after a child hits you, tell him that you can't do this, then you teach him that "you can't!" is an empty sound that can be ignored. Your task is to make sure that "impossible" is equal to "impossible".
It often happens that the situation is already quite neglected, the child often fights, and for some mysterious reason the parents do not see the imminent assault and cannot prevent it. Parents discover already after the fact that the child hit someone again. In such a case, you can use a special method.
SPECIAL METHOD "DO NOT FIGHT!"
This method is suitable for children from 2 to 6 years old, outside of this period it will not work!
It is important to carry out all the points of the method one by one, without missing or modifying anything.
You also need to apply the method every time you start doing it.
Usually 3-4 applications of the method are enough to stop fights, or at least become much less frequent.
Step 1.
If a child hits you or another in your presence, stand facing him and grasp him by the wrists. You need to hold firmly, but without hurting the child.
Step 2.
Looking at the child's face, tell him seriously: "You can't fight!".
No need to drill a child with an evil look, scare him with a harsh tone. Try to be neutral, calm and serious. You do not punish him, but simply inform him of the norm of behavior.
Step 3.
Look away from the child and count to 20 at a normal pace.
At this time, the child may try to escape or talk to you. It is important to remain silent and hold it by the wrists.
Step 4. Turn to your child and repeat: "You can't fight!" Then release the child's hands.
If the baby immediately hits you, repeat everything from the very beginning without missing a single point.
This method is very simple, but very effective. It is applicable with young children, often the only effective method of correcting aggression.
Do not use the method if the child fights very rarely, rather try to be more attentive to the child and try to restrain him when he tries to hit you.
© Elizaveta Filonenko
In any period of a child's development, most parents face child aggression. These are situational emotional episodes when the baby can fight, scream, and not only at peers, relatives and friends, but also at his own mother. Agree, such a circumstance can easily put you in a stupor, if not shock, but the main question that you should ask yourself at this moment is: "What am I doing wrong?".
After all, all the models of behavior that your child demonstrates to you - he reads from the people around him, most often from you.
The golden rule that applies to absolutely all controversial issues: You need to be patient and influence the child only with sensitivity to him, with sincere respect and unconditional love.
1) Give your child only a positive personal example:
It is imperative that you rule out the following in your family:
Insult and humiliation of a child,
Intimidation of a child,
Use of physical punishment.
Remember, at these moments the baby absorbs everything that adults do and say, adopts these examples of how it is POSSIBLE to treat others with aggression.
And, on the contrary, you need to show to him as often as possible:
Patience,
Acceptance of him as he is,
Attention and respect for his personality,
Love, expressed by warm words, bodily hugs.
2) You can not forbid the child to express his negative emotions:
If from a very young age you forbid your child to express his aggression: scold him for it, demand: “Don't scream! Don't fight! Do not be angry! ”, Then he will certainly learn -“ getting angry is bad.
But what is his alternative? In tense negative situations, it's easy not to feel anything. But what should he do? Especially on the condition that he immediately sees that the parents themselves allow themselves to scream or use physical force - to him, or even to each other. When he realizes that the words of his parents are at odds with their actions.
If a child has enough strength to resolve this inner conflict in himself, he will inevitably come to the suppression of his feelings, often to depression. And even to insincerity and hostility towards parents.
Therefore, it is important for parents (and close people) to learn how to measure their words with deeds, and not to demand the impossible from the baby - to restrain anger. We must accept that anger is primarily a negative emotion, a defensive reaction, and it is important to allow the child to release this energy, but not to suppress it in himself. Therefore:
3) Teaching the baby to react correctly:
Children often show their negative feelings - namely in physical aggression.
This is because they simply do not know how to react differently.
And now the child is screaming, trying to hit you, what should I do?
Hug and hold him tight. After he gradually calms down, tell him that when he feels bad, you are ready to listen to him.
Discuss with your child (without witnesses) what this behavior may lead to in the future. For example: "My dear, now you have taken away a toy from Petya, he was offended, and then he will not want to play with you."
Always (even when there seems to be no time) - explain in detail to the child why you forbade him to do something. In any case, the demand made on him must be reasonable and must be enforced. Thus - you will clearly let your child understand what you expect from him.
Teach your child (and constantly remind him of this) that there are substitute ways to respond to stressful situations without hurting other people. For example:
a) Replace the action with the word , explain to the child that you can talk about your emotions, and that "fighting" is not right.
Teach him to form the so-called "I-messages": "I'm angry because...", "I'm offended because...", "I'm upset because...".
Help him gradually master this "feeling language", and he will be able to express his emotions more easily without trying to get your attention with bad behavior. In a confidential conversation, without moralizing, let the baby understand that he can always tell you about his experiences, and you will always be ready to listen to him.
b) Show your child safe examples of how to "let off steam" when he is very angry: crumple and tear paper, newspaper, beat and pound a special "evil pillow", as well as bite and shout at it, you can also throw soft balls into the corner with all your strength.
c) Anger can be drawn, molded from plasticine (You sculpt yours, and the child yours) - and when it is ready, show how you can transform it into calmness, kindness to others .
It is also very important to "train" the child in different ways of getting out of conflicts , come up with them with him.
In addition, you can read good stories to your child more often , where "Good always triumphs over evil", and the main characters behave with dignity, stage scenes with toys, playing safe ways out of conflict situations, turning on and learning positive songs , similar: "Smile" and "The road of kindness".
4) Take Aggression under your sensitive control :
- Emotional discharge, so necessary for the child - he can get in motor loads: on a walk (for which you need to increase the time) - give him the opportunity to run in plenty, dance with him, do exercises in the morning.
You will say: "I can't always protect a child from evil, it is everywhere in our lives." You are right, but still, in early childhood - it makes sense to protect the fragile child's psyche from "aggressive intrusions." At least so that he does not get the impression that offending someone, hurting someone is commonplace, and maybe even a sign of strength and authority.
On the contrary, your child must learn in the future to resist the aggressors, not becoming like them.
- Celebrate your baby's success! Concentrate all your strength on shaping the right actions of your baby, but not on eradicating unwanted ones. When he behaves properly, reinforce these efforts with praise, say: “I am proud of you, because you did this (a).” Show that you are really happy with it.
Mom is the closest person in the world, she is always there when the child is happy or sad, she will forgive and understand everything. And that is why the mother, more often than others, becomes the object of the release of uncontrolled children's emotions or the psychological experiments of the baby. Often there are situations when a child beats his mother, what to do and how to behave in such cases?
The solution to this problem largely depends on the reasons why the child hits the mother or other family members.
Why a child beats his mother
At a certain period of their development, children can show their emotions in actions that are unacceptable in society, so they try to cope with surging emotions, express protest or resentment, or simply test the boundaries of what is permitted.
Release of emotions
Little children do not know how to control their emotions, and often during active games a child at 2-3 years old beats his mother. This is not happening out of evil, and the baby does not want to hurt at all, he is simply looking for a way out of an emotional outburst in such an accessible way. In fact, nothing bad happens, but sometimes such attacks are quite painful, and as they grow older, the baby will accept such behavior as the norm, which can cause conflicts with his peers on the playground or in the garden.
Sometimes the reason for such behavior is the parents themselves, who strive to pinch a one-year-old baby, crush, bite , everything naturally comes from an overabundance of feelings and surging parental love, accompanied by smiles and jokes. But the baby remembers such a model of behavior, and here is a ready answer to the question of why a child beats his mother a year.
In order not to further aggravate the current situation, start with yourself, try to control your emotions and show your love for your son or daughter with hugs, kisses and gentle words, then the baby, following your example, will do the same.
But if the problem already exists, it should be made clear as soon as possible that this should not be done.
How to react if a child beats his mother? To begin with, it is worth telling the baby that you do not like this behavior, while you should not scold him, because it is not he who is bad, but his act. Explain to the baby that it is better to hug the parents, and not to beat, show how to do it. In the event that the child does not understand and continues to beat his mother in the face, it is necessary to let him go, or move a distance while once again explaining the reason why you do not want to communicate with him.
Protest
Often, parents, worried about the safety of their child, are overly strict and limit his life with prohibitions. Being in such an environment, the baby constantly hears: you can’t, don’t go, don’t take, which creates psychological pressure and prevents him from developing. And if a one-year-old child beats his mother in the face, having fun or not realizing the seriousness of his act, then a child of 4 years old already consciously beats his mother out of a sense of protest and disagreement with the established rules.
In fact, this is how the kid tries to defend his own, and in some ways he is right, if you do not take into account the methods of his struggle.
If a child hits his mother in response to a remark about how to behave? Here it doesn't matter what the remark was, fair or the mother simply asked him not to scatter toys, the baby no longer hears his parents. There should not be many prohibitions; for children under 4-5 years old, you cannot say the word “no” more than five times during the day. Try to find compromises, smooth out sharp corners, make fewer comments. The reaction to the fact that the baby hit should be a dialogue, because this is exactly what the baby lacks - to be heard, listened to his opinion, take into account his wishes. If the response to a blow is anger, or a scream, or a retaliatory blow, perhaps the baby will no longer dare to do this, fearing the reaction of the parents, but the reason that led to such a reaction will remain, and possibly result in a more serious problem in the future.
As practice shows, children who grew up in too strict families become uncontrollable in adolescence.
Aggression
The baby's nervous system is not yet perfect and any stress in the form of family quarrels, moving, changing the daily routine can provoke a nervous breakdown, cause him to become hysterical or aggressive. As a rule, aggressive children splash out their negativity on those closest to them, or on those who cannot fight back. If a mother understands and forgives everything, she becomes an object for beating.
Dr. Komarovsky advises that if a child beats his mother, give him change in return, since no pedagogical exhortations or persuasions will help here. As Evgeny Olegovich says, aggression is an instinct, and in response to your controlled aggression, children learn to understand that the strong must be respected.
Perhaps the doctor is right about something, and if a child of 1-5 years old beats his mother, then having received the same in response, he can stop doing it, because another instinct will work - self-preservation, but aggression will remain and will look for a way out in another place.
Having drawn the conclusion that the strong must be respected, he will understand that the weak can be offended. And then he will take out his bad mood or uncontrollable anger on children who do not know how, do not want or cannot give back, or on animals.
If a child at the age of 3-4 beats his mother when he is outburst of aggression, what should I do? You need to teach the baby to cope with his feelings, and if he wants to beat, crush and break - buy him a punching bag and he can let off his steam without hurting anyone. Even better, over time, give such a baby to the sports section, where, in addition to techniques and classes, the discipline of respect for others and the ban on the use of force against the weak are taught.
Checking the boundaries of what is permitted
Despite their temperament and personal qualities, children have a model of behavior that they were taught in the family. The time comes, and the children begin to probe the ground, unconsciously, but still, try to check what is allowed and where the prohibition is.
So if a child hits his mother in the face for 1 year, it looks funny from the outside, but it is the parental reaction to such attacks that determines whether the baby will continue to do this. And if a child beats his mother at 2 years old, then most likely he will do it at 5 years old, since his mother allowed it.
How to wean a child from hitting his mother?
In such a situation, it is enough to make it clear that such behavior is unacceptable. To do this, you do not need to beat the baby in response, because by doing this you, on the contrary, show a bad example. Crying and screaming, just as little can be achieved, for the crumbs this is a performance and it will provoke you more than once to look at simulated tears.
As experienced child psychologists advise, the only way to show that fighting is unacceptable is to stop playing with the baby for a while and go into the next room. At the same time, you should not ignore if the baby cries, on the contrary, you can feel sorry for the baby and explain why you did this, and that this will happen every time he fights.
