Humpty dumpty cracked
The Day Humpty Dumpty Cracked
I think God knew what he was doing when he gave children the blessing of not remembering too much before the age of 6 or 7. Think about it.
Do you remember a lot from that early childhood time?
There is actually very little that I can pull from that time period in my life. In fact, I don’t remember fun things like dying Easter eggs at all.
On Good Friday, I thought I would be a good mom and do the traditional Easter craft of dying Easter eggs with the kids.
I did everything right.
I boiled eggs.
I covered the table with cloth because the box clearly said that the dye would stain anything it touched. I put two stools together at the counter. We were ready for this project.
Excitement built as the eggs cooled down to a temperature where we could dye our first eggs.
We started with the colors of blue and pink. We added vinegar to make the colors more vibrant.
Things went beautifully. Our time together was filled with pleasantries and smiles.
| Things were going well here. |
When it was all said and done, we had two green eggs, two pink, two blue, and an orange egg. Baby Diva chose to put stickers on her eggs, while Mr. Cool used the magic crayon to put the finishing touches on his creations.
It was an Easter miracle. We accomplished this task with no mess and very little dye on our fingertips. There were no tears, and we had eggs for the basket.
But then as fast as you can say “Easter egg,” the tide changed. Mr. Cool, who loves eggs, said that he wanted to eat one.
“Why don’t you wait until tonight after your dad gets home, so he can see your masterpieces?” I replied.
He whines, “No,” while his sister stays busy putting 100 tiny stickers on her little egg.
I grab a gorgeous green, marbled egg while muttering an “are you sure?” under my breath.
| The eggs |
He’s sure.
Crack! And peel.
The crying and screaming begins as the egg begins to turn white.
“I wanted Daddy to see it!” There is no reasoning with a stubborn 6-year-old who is crying profusely. You would have thought he was hurt by the carrying on this child did over a peeled egg.
Quickly, I suggest we call Daddy to tell him about the egg.
The marble-green Humpty Dumpty cannot be repaired, and, unfortunately, all the king’s men will never be able to make him lovely again.
Let’s face it. Humpty Dumpty had done been cracked and peeled. He cannot go in the basket. The only thing left to do is eat him.
Will answers. Mr. Cool is hysterical, crying over a broken egg.
Before I could speak, I look over and Baby Diva grabbed an egg that still needed drying. She was trying to peel a vibrant blue egg, and her hands are blue, and blue dye is running down her legs about to drop on the chair.
“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” I scream. She erupts into tears.
My son is crying. She’s crying. I scream.
My husband yells, “What happened?”
I yell, “The great Easter project just turned into s***t.
That’s what happened.”
Let’s hope this memory thing holds true, for my sake, because it will forever be remembered as the day that Mama’s Easter craft went to hell in a handbasket at one crack of an egg.
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Humpty Dumpty Was Pushed by Bruce Lord, Elisabeth Richards - Ebook
Ebook166 pages2 hours
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
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About this ebook
What would you do if you suspect your best friend, who happens to be a giant egg, was killed but everyone else thinks it was an accident? Humpty Dumpty Was Pushed, a collection of twenty-two short fairy tale-like stories, tackles that question and many more.
In this collection's title story, Chicken Little is certain his friend did not fall from the ledge, and he intends to prove there is a conspiracy.
Will he discover the truth before it's too late? Filled with interesting and delightful characters, these short stories ask questions not raised before. Can a reverse vampire find true love? Can the World Nose Hair champion really make the world a better place? Is it ever wise to stick cheese noodles in your nose? Can one live their life squeezing other people's ears in peace? If a whale and a tiger had a fight who would win?
Incorporating familiar characters in children's literature and folklore, Humpty Dumpty Was Pushed tells a series of tales with surprises to keep you guessing. Each story asks a different question, and each story offers a different, strange answer.
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LanguageEnglish
PublisheriUniverse
Release dateNov 18, 2008
ISBN9780595919550
Author
Bruce Lord
Bruce Lord has been a professional storyteller for more than ten years. Elisabeth Richards is a poet, playwright, and educator and has taught around the world.
They have been writing together for more than twenty years. Lord and Richards live in Milton Ontario.
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Humpty Dumpty Was Pushed - Bruce Lord
ContentsHumpty Dumpty Was Pushed
Cazador de Estrellas de Mar
Billy and His Tragic Nose Hair
Fredrick the Seasick Sailor
The Ear
Sir Stinks-A-Lot
The Girl in the Hat
If a Whale and a Tiger
The Mosquito Farm
The Last Action Librarian
Super Duper Noodle Poodle
Greta and the Cheese Noodle
The Gerboopadoop
Le Papier Prince
Toothless
Mr. Red and Mr.
Green
The Beetle Matador
Flowers for Theodore
Marvin the Evil Parrot
No Exit
Little Miss Bitey
The Last Day
Humpty Dumpty Was PushedHe was a good egg. He was one of those salt-of-the-earth kind of eggs. He was a hard-working egg, a loving egg, a generous, kind and thoughtful egg, and he will be greatly missed.
Chicken Little, like everyone else, agreed with those sentimental words spoken at Humpty’s funeral. Humpty had been a good egg, and Chicken Little’s best friend. What Chicken Little could not agree with, however, was what he was hearing everyone say after the funeral regarding how Humpty had died.
Chicken Little’s outrage had started three days earlier, long before Humpty’s funeral, when he’d read a very simple notice in the paper stating
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King’s horses and all the King’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty back together again.
Most people read the notice and thought that it did little to capture the greatness of Humpty’s life, the uniqueness of his character, the way his gentle presence brought smiles to all around him. In short, they felt the announcement failed to capture how Humpty Dumpty’s all-too-brief existence had made the world a better place.
For Chicken Little, it wasn’t just that the notice failed to express the greatness of Humpty that made him so angry. He was angry because the notice was a bold-faced lie. Chicken Little could barely contain his anger, but he knew that he would have one chance to inform the public of the truth … after Humpty’s funeral when everyone was gathered at the wake.
Chicken Little spent the three days between reading Humpty’s obituary in the paper and attending his funeral gathering evidence by talking to some key witnesses, double-checking his facts, and taking some high-resolution photos of where the alleged accident had taken place. He wasn’t going to have a reoccurrence of the last time he attempted to sway public opinion.
The sun finally rose the morning of the solemn day, and everyone who was anyone came to pay their respects for their lost friend. There was Little Jack Horner, the entire Bo Peep family, Little Miss Muffet, Georgie Porgie, Jack Spratt and Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater, to name a few. Even Old Mother Hubbard, who was rarely seen in public these days, came to say goodbye. Each one of them knew exactly how Humpty had radiated love and joy into the world. They knew their lives had been enriched by knowing him. For miles around, crowds of people made the long journey to pay their respects. So many people came, and not just people.
Mary’s little lamb tagged along bleating sadly. Turkey Lurkey and her sad little gobbles could be heard amidst the crowd. The cow took a break from jumping over the moon to moo her last respects. Countless other mourners came, too many to name here. They cried together. They listened to solemn words together. They consoled each other. They said goodbye as best they could in a funeral service that would be remembered by all who attended that day for its beauty and sorrow.
Of course, Chicken Little was there as well, seething in his seat, waiting for his chance to speak.
After the funeral, as was the custom in their village, everyone gathered to reflect and celebrate Humpty’s life. They gathered to tell stories and, oddly enough, to eat, as though funerals somehow made everybody hungry. They devoured by the handful little roast beef sandwiches, cheese and tomato sandwiches, tiny cucumber sandwiches, even peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Perhaps not that surprisingly though, given the circumstances, the small mountain of egg salad sandwiches were left uneaten. Only Old Mother Hubbard hid a few under her hat for later, and if you had seen the state of her bare cupboards, you’d most likely have forgiven her. Of course, between bites of sandwiches and the many stories told of Humpty’s childhood, of his famous wall-sitting adventures and of the funny things he had said or done, it was inevitable that talk would turn to his fatal accident, and when it did, Chicken Little was ready.
It was a pity he had that great fall,
said Jack Be Nimble. But you know Humpty; he just couldn’t stay away from a good wall. It was always one wall higher with him. First it was the Berlin Wall, and then remember when he sat on the Great Wall of China?
Yup, Humpty certainly was a risk taker,
said Georgie Porgie after kissing Bo Peep and making her cry. I can’t help but think that at least if he had to leave us, he left us doing exactly what he loved most. Ya know, just sitting on the edge of some high wall that none of us would dare sit on, just soaking it all in.
You’re right there, Georgie,
said Jack Be Nimble. He loved heights and he loved a good challenge. You remember that mountain climbing expedition he took with those four other eggs they never found again? Humpty was the first and only egg to ever conquer Mount Fuji and live to tell about it.
Chicken Little seized his opportunity and marched up to Georgie Porgie and Jack Be Nimble.
I heard what ya said, Nimble, and I’m telling ya, you got it all wrong.
Go away, Little,
said Jack Be Nimble.
Humpty didn’t fall.
Chicken Little was not going to be sent away. I know everyone wants to believe that, but it’s just not true. Humpty was pushed.
Chicken Little’s voice was a little too loud not to be overheard by several mourners nearby, one of them being Humpty’s mother.
Mrs. Dumpty spoke up through her tearful sobs. He was the bravest egg in the basket.
With each word her voice came closer to cracking. A real role model for the children. Always encouraging everyone to go for the top, to sit on higher and higher walls, and ultimately to conquer the wall within. Who would want to push my son, my beautiful boy? Everybody loved Humpty! How dare you make a mockery of his tragic accident! How dare you say such stupid, hurtful things!
Mrs. Dumpty slipped into uncontrollable, angry sobbing and was rolled outside where she could get some air.
For a moment, silence wafted through the room as people just stared at Chicken Little, feeling the awkwardness of the moment as they watched a sobbing Mrs. Dumpty leave the building. Jack Be Nimble used the silence to chastise Chicken Little so everyone could hear, Nicely done, Little. See what you’ve done now! Why don’t you just go home?
But Chicken Little was far from ready to go home. He spoke in a voice that was meant for many more people than just Jack Be Nimble, and a crowd did seem to gravitate toward Little as he continued to speak. It’s not possible,
Chicken Little began. It’s just not possible. It wasn’t raining. It wasn’t snowing. There’s no way Humpty just slipped and fell. Think about it. You all know he wasn’t just some amateur wall sitter. He was the best, the greatest wall sitter of all time.
Jack Horner shouted out in agreement. Ya, Little’s right; it couldn’t have been just an accident.
Little Bo Peep put her arm gently around her friend.
I know it’s hard to imagine, Jack, but try not to think about the accident. Think of happy days instead, when Humpty would dress up as a giant Easter egg and take us on those Easter egg hunts. You remember?
Little Jack Horner shook his head. No, Bo, I don’t want to be cheered up. I just want to understand what happened.
He just fell. It happens,
she said. Little Bo Peep was speaking more to Chicken Little than to her friend.
I just can’t accept that,
Chicken Little replied. Humpty had been up that wall hundreds of times. He knew that wall like the back of his hand.
Little Bo Peep asked him directly, What are you saying, Little? Spit it out. This ought to be good.
I’m telling you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, Humpty Dumpty was pushed!
he said.
Pushed?
said Bo Peep. Who would push Humpty? I don’t believe it.
You better believe it,
replied Little Jack Horner. Chicken Little’s right.
It’s the only answer that makes any sense.
At that same moment, Georgie Porgie joined in the conversation. Come on, Jack. Chicken Little has never made a lick of sense in his entire life.
This is different,
said Jack Horner.
And you’re gonna believe that nutbar? The same chicken who last year squawked for a month that the sky was falling?
asked Georgie. Then, looking around the room and lowering his voice, he added, Besides, rumour has it that Humpty had some serious gambling debts. If you ask me, he jumped.
Little Miss Muffet was standing right next to Georgie Porgie. Jumped!
she shouted. He didn’t jump. Humpty had everything to live for. He was getting his Hallowe’en costume ready, and I know he was excited about his chance to win best costume again.
Georgie rolled his eyes. You mean that silly giant egg costume?
Yes.
But he was a giant egg,
protested Georgie.
I know,
said Little Miss Muffet.
That’s why it was so convincing. He was just so happy, you should have seen the smile on his face . . . priceless. I know he was looking forward to the next costume party. No way he jumped.
Then what, you think he just slipped and fell, or do you think he was pushed too?
asked Georgie.
I don’t know anymore. I guess maybe we should give Chicken Little a chance to explain why he thinks Humpty was pushed,
said Little Miss Muffet.
Chicken Little wanted to explain right then and there, but other people were joining in the debate and it was getting a little out of control. Old Mother Hubbard and Jack Spratt were standing to the right of where Chicken Little was and near enough to Little Miss Muffet to add their thoughts regarding her suggestion.
You heard the guy earlier,
started Mother Hubbard. It was an accident and all the King’s horses and all the King’s men will verify that.
I never thought you’d be so naive, Mother Hubbard.
asked Chicken Little. 
You really think the King’s men aren’t capable of hiding the truth?
Jack Spratt seemed to agree with Chicken Little, Ya, I think the King’s men pushed him and then didn’t even try to put Humpty back together again. What I’m thinkin’ is the King’s men caused the accident and then, under the King’s orders, sent scrambled Humpty to the King’s chef to make the biggest and tastiest omelette in the land. That’s what I’m thinkin’.
Chicken Little tried to regain control of the conversation. Will you just listen to me for a second?
They probably ate him for breakfast,
continued Jack Spratt, ignoring Chicken Little.
That’s insane,
said Little Miss Muffet.
Hey, life can be pretty insane from time to time,
added Georgie Porgie.
Mother Hubbard would not be swayed. No. It’s madness, plain and simple. He lost his balance and fell. End of story,
she declared. She was feeling slightly guilty about the few egg salad sandwiches still under her hat and wondered, if only for a second, if they weren’t possibly made from leftover giant omelette.
He was pushed, and I have proof. Will you just stop and listen to me?
asked Chicken Little. But no one did. Since he could not stop them from talking, he left the disagreeable gathering more than a little frustrated and looked for someone who might listen to his evidence.
Across the room from Mother Hubbard’s ongoing disagreement with Jack Spratt, Georgie Porgie and Little Miss Muffet, Chicken Little saw his opportunity. Jack (of Jack and the Beanstalk fame) was recounting to Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater (of pumpkin-eating fame) Humpty’s many wall sitting adventures during
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111 reviews for Gongfu teapot 750 ml with lever from customers OZON
V
Vasily K.
March 22, 2022
Product purchased at OZON
Volume, ml: 350
Advantages
Compact, just what you need for a pleasant tea party for 1-2 people. Thick looking glass. The type of drain in the form of a lever is more convenient for me and closer to the button, which is less reliable and inconvenient in this kind of budget types.
Price (I managed to take for 477 rubles)
Disadvantages
Surprisingly, this disadvantage was the fastening of the brewing compartment. Usually it is poorly fixed, but here, on the contrary, it is excessively rigid. It is tough. You have to make great efforts to release the compartment, while not breaking the fasteners. So it certainly won't last long. I had to order another similar type and choose from two.
Comments
To understand, this is not my first and not my second type, I drink tea every day, and for me a similar size is optimal for a person (two). Plus very... Read more
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A
Alexander P.
February 17, 2022
The goods were bought for Ozon
volume, ml: 500
DPC
Glass flask, cute design
Disues
Comment
Excellent teapitwork ?
Р
Rostislav M.
29 July 2021
Purchased on OZON
Volume, ml: 740
Advantages
Performs its main task on 10/10
Disadvantages
A small defect, but not terrible for the money
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Sh
Shamil O.
Product purchased at OZON0002 Dislike
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The user chose to hide his data Product purchased at OZON
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Natalia
31 May 2021
Product purchased at OZON
Volume, ml: 740
A completely different kettle came. The product card showed exactly the kettle as on the box. As a result, another one came inside!
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I
Ivan A.
April 19, 2021
Product purchased at OZON
Volume, ml: 740
Advantages
No plastic smell.
Shortcomings
Does not correspond to the declared, (another variation of the brewing section), play of the brewing section.
Comment
Summary: better to look for a better model.
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A
Alexey G.
April 18, 2021
The goods were purchased for Ozon
volume, ml: 740
Dignity
No
Disocations
could not stand even
,Comment
Completely, the appearance is not like in the photo.
The top is loose and doesn't stay in place.
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K
Xenia Z.
April 17, 2021
Purchased on OZON
volume, ml: 740
Poles
no
Disadvantages
There is no valve that holds a capacity with a strain, without it,
Comment
The feeling that a completely different
,has helped this review. ?
A
Alexander B.
April 9, 2021
Product purchased at OZON
Volume, ml: 740
Advantages In use for a month. The flight is normal. I use 3-4 times a day. Didn't crack. The valve is holding
Disadvantages
What are the disadvantages for the money.
Comment
Take it, you won't regret it.
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It is small in volume, but worth a lot.... (Barry)
?- Oleg Matveev olegmatveev
- 2016-03-30 21:24:00
- It's small in volume, but worth a lot.
... (Barry) -
Oleg, I want to say a big thank you for "Conversations with Barry". I read the first book yesterday. And I was under such a great impression that I carried it inside myself as an unexpected joy, I was afraid to spill it :-). So this book made me happy. It is small in size, but worth a lot. Without unnecessary words and "water", but with such an unexpected look and perspective. I haven't read or seen anything like this from any of the authors. Now I want to return to the previous lectures again, listen to the postulates and practice everything, with a new understanding. Thank you for Barry and for the academy. Today it was worth the effort to keep myself from the second book :-). I wanted to prolong the pleasure. I decided to reward myself with reading for "special merit" and after working with the material first. I could not resist, looked in and realized that I, exactly in accordance with this book, had previously had a situation with my iPad.
He fell face down on the tiles. And I froze. And the first thought: cracked! Then somehow she quickly gathered herself and said to herself, as in childhood: now I’ll pick it up, and he’s whole :-) and imagined. I lift - a whole, but does not react and does not reboot. Mournfully laid it down and flew off on a business trip. All my Chinese voyage, I talked with him (as in your Processing book): well, how are you? Great!!! And how are you? Great!!!! And somehow it gave me a reserve state of lightness (also thanks to Eduard for the mood of Humpty Dumpty at the penultimate workshop). And every day my iPad answered more cheerfully :-). She returned home, first of all to him, how are you? Excellent, it works!!!!!! The method works! Thank you!!!! Happened!!! And today Barry read about the non-trivial approach in the second book. By the way, my friend, using the Life Light process, cured her iPad in three days. Wrote a list of all options. Accepted and released. Works :-)!!!! THANK YOU!!!!
[Anisya K.
] And I really wanted to buy "Conversations with Barry" :) Anisya, are you a PR person by any chance?
No, but the book turned out to be consonant and really worthwhile. It gives new accents and a new look at things already known. In a small text, huge reserve opportunities. And there is a place for you to think and think for yourself :-) everything I like!!!!! And about PR :-)... I want to make everyone happy and share what I know and can do myself and send everyone to a happy future. How much through me came to astrology and to my teacher in astrology :-)!!! Now they will go to study with Oleg. My work is related to quality :-) and OM has all products with a quality mark :-)
MegaOM conversations with Barry
Tags: Barry, MegaOM, books, reviews
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In connection with the completion of the series of books about Barry released a package: Read, benefit and enjoy.
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