Parent teaching kid

33 Life Skills Every Parent Should Teach Their Kids — Best Life

Ask any parent what the biggest responsibility is when it comes to raising well-rounded kids and you'll hear the same thing again and again: giving them the skills they need to thrive. And we're not just talking about learning to read or to drive a car. We're referring to the bigger picture tools parents should pass on to their progeny. With the help of experts, we've rounded up the skills every kid needs to make it in this world.

Of course it's important to try new things and be open to new experiences—but just as important is the ability to deliver a firm, yet polite "no" when the time calls for it.

"It is difficult to decline something tactfully—many adults even go along with things when they don't want to," says psychotherapist Stephanie Wijkstrom, MS, LPC, NBCC, and founder of the Counseling and Wellness Center of Pittsburgh. That's why it's critical for parents to teach their kids an early lesson in consent about when it's appropriate to set boundaries and say "no. "

There's a big difference between shouting the word "sorry" from across the playground and a sincere, heartfelt apology. Considering how successfully the latter can smooth over tensions—and how quickly the former can heighten them—teaching your kid to say sorry and mean it is invaluable. It's just as important to teach them when to do it, too—apologizing for things that aren't their fault can quickly become as problematic as not apologizing for those that are.

"Most of our children are going to leap into the world and find their place among work and family. They will need to understand how to use their downtime, how to recharge their batteries so that they feel balanced and happy in life," says Wijkstrom. "Breathing, yoga, walking in nature, having a hobby—these are important and will carry 
children well beyond their youth into maturely-adjusted old age."ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb

Hard-to-navigate emotions can be difficult for folks of any age, but those big feelings can feel especially overwhelming for younger ones. That's why it's so important for parents to teach their kids how to deal with those feelings in a healthy way.

"Parents should explicitly teach their kids coping skills for difficult emotions such as anger, anxiety, and sadness," says licensed clinical psychologist Nastassja Marshall, Ph.D., of Renewal Therapy in Richmond, Virginia. Marshall suggests that parents not only model emotional regulation for their children, but also teach them relaxation exercises, deep breathing techniques, positive self-talk, and ways to work those emotions out through physical activity.

Whether you're 5 or 65, life comes with its fair share of disappointments. So, the earlier kids learn to move on from the ones they encounter in childhood, the better equipped they'll be to handle the big ones in adulthood.

"This is helpful because it innately teaches children to accept that the world is not perfect, and that everything will not go their way," says licensed therapist Ginger Lavender Wilkerson, LMFT. "Disappointment can be a temporary feeling and [does] not define who they are."

You can't ensure that your child's life will be stress-free, but you can—and should—teach them how to cope when they're reaching their breaking point. "Knowing how to manage stress will reduce the risk for burnout, anxiety, and depression," says Wilkerson.

Learning to embrace alone time is a skill everyone can benefit from. "Parents need to teach their kids to learn to love the time they take by themselves and to trust the wisdom that comes from within when we take that time," says licensed mental health counselor Jill Sylvester, author of Trust Your Intuition: 100 Ways to Transform Anxiety and Depression for Stronger Mental Health. "Teaching kids to take quiet time each day so that they learn to enjoy being by themselves and to become their own best friend is a best practice."

Teaching your kids to follow their gut instincts can help keep them safe, healthy, and happy both in childhood and beyond. "Teaching kids how to trust their own inner guidance versus seeking outside sources that so often can be conflicting with our own wants and needs, is a helpful tool as they grow and develop," says Sylvester.

While many parents try to teach their kids to be tough, being empathetic is every bit as essential for their wellbeing—if not more so.

"It's important for parents to respect the natural empathy of their children and to nurture and develop it," says special educator Donna Garfinkel, co-director of New York City-based Early Childhood Associates. "Encourage your child to build empathy by teaching them to help others. Participating in initiatives like toy drives and food pantries can help cultivate empathy."

There's a major difference between truly listening to someone and just waiting for your turn to speak—and the sooner parents can teach their kids the former, the better.

So, how does one go about honing this skill? "Reading to them, watching a movie together, or telling stories can help develop listening skills," suggests Garfinkel. "Ask questions about stories and ask them to support their responses with material/information from the story."

Instant gratification may be nice, but teaching your kids to work toward long-term goals will be invaluable in their adolescence and adulthood. "Teach children to persevere and to not give up on what's important to them," says Garfinkel. "Working toward a long term-goal, [like] developing academic or athletic skills or saving for a special purchase, can help them understand the value of perseverance."

Playing well with others is a skill that will serve your kids well long past childhood. "Sharing and taking turns while playing can reinforce positive social skills that will carry over into the future," says Garfinkel.

Whether it's a fish, a plant, or a sibling, teaching your child how to care for another living thing is an important skill they won't learn in a classroom. Not only can doing so help kids empathize, having something to care for may even help reduce their stress. A 2010 study published in Anxiety, Stress, & Coping found that petting animals—whether soft and furry or hard-shelled—helped reduce participants' anxiety.

A firm handshake and friendly "hello" can get you far in life, which is why it's never too early to teach your kids how to greet people properly. "Children should learn how to give a solid handshake while introducing themselves to 
someone new," says certified child anxiety expert Colleen Wildenhouse, founder of Good Bye Anxiety, Hello Joy, LLC. "It is important that children learn to have confidence in who 
they are and what they have to offer to others."

Not every kid is an extrovert—and that's okay!—but it pays to know how to meet people, even when your kids are young. Teach your children that there's no reason to be afraid of confidently marching up to another child on the playground and asking them to play. It will serve them well for years to come.

Unfortunately, the answer to that question on the playground isn't always going to be a resounding "yes." Whether they didn't get the promotion they'd hoped for, the person they asked on a date turned them down, or they didn't win the talent show, it's important that kids know how to lose gracefully.

Problem-solving is a skill that's typically honed over a lifetime, but having kids tackle their own issues starting at an early age will inevitably make things easier as they get older.

"Encourage them to problem-solve on their own," says licensed mental health counselor and therapist Barb Shepard. "Issue with a teacher? Prep them on how to go talk to that teacher themselves. Jumping in to rescue your kids from situations that are uncomfortable is not always helpful—in fact, it can prevent your child from learning to work 
through challenges and conflict."

Whether your kid is applying for an internship or looking for a job after graduating from college, professionalism counts every step of the way.

"College can be a huge shock for teenagers as they take their first step into the world of professionalism," says Shepard. "Every interaction with a professor who could be a reference or a job connection in the future should be treated like an interview. Ditch the sweatpants-to-class look, use good grammar in emails, and turn in assignments 
on time."

If you're eager for your children to become self-sufficient adults, financial education is key. But before you can even deliver your lecture on Budgeting 101, your kid needs to know how to apply for a job. Teach them how to look for jobs using sites like Indeed or Glassdoor, give them the skinny on interview-appropriate attire, and always make sure they know the basics, like how to fill out an application correctly.

At any age, work can be a huge source of stress. That's why it's so important that parents teach their kids how to work hard—as well as some coping skills for when things are stressful on the job.

"Children should learn how to work and know the value and accomplishment of a hard day's work," says Kalyn Hochstrat, founder of Kalyn Hochstrat Investment Advisor, LLC in Midvale, Idaho. "If taught the value of work at a young age, that gift will benefit them their entire lives, no matter what industry they work in."

Yes, even adults procrastinate, but the sooner your kids can learn to get things done ahead of a deadline, the better. After all, it's not like you particularly relish putting together dioramas well into the wee hours of the morning, either.

Having good credit makes life easier, whether you're buying a car or applying for a mortgage—and finance pros say that parents should be teaching their kids how to build good credit from an early age.

"They should know what is debt, what is credit, and how to avoid borrowing too much money," says financial educator Cleo Childress, founder of Cleo Yoga Finance in Dallas, Texas. "They should understand what a credit report is and how negative credit 
history can affect their lives."

Even if your kid is earning just a dollar a week in allowance, learning how to save some of that money now can yield major rewards when they're nearing adulthood.

"They should understand the value in saving and investing," says Childress. "It's okay to have 
material things and enjoy experiences, but also teach them how they should save and invest on a consistent basis so they can have more financial freedom to live the lifestyles they desire."

While avoiding the hand-to-mouth lifestyle as an adult is often easier said than done, giving your kids the financial tools they need to effectively budget is invaluable. "They should know how to avoid living paycheck-to-paycheck," says Childress. "Teach them how to earn money, then save/invest, spend, and give so that they are able to still support themselves if their incomes stop or slow down. "

Taxes can be confusing even to adults, but talking to kids about them from an early age can help them navigate those murky waters more easily later on. An easy way to do this? Create separate jars for spending, saving, and taxes with their allowance each week so they can better understand how much money to allocate in their budget when they finally bring home that first paycheck.

Whether they've got a foreign prince calling them or someone on Craigslist who promises that a luxury apartment really rents for just $300 a month, it's important that your child knows a scam when they see one.

How can you effectively teach your children the value of money if you don't teach them how to simultaneously care for their things? At a young age, that may mean picking up their toys from the bedroom floor so they don't get stepped on, and as they get older, it can mean treating a stain on clothing immediately before it sets in, regularly mowing the lawn, or doing software updates on their devices.

According to a 2013 study published in the Family & Consumer Research Journal, baby boomers and members of Gen X lapped millennials when it came to their clothing care skills. That's why it's essential that parents teach their kids these skills at home—after all, who wants a panicked 4 a.m. phone call when the washing machine is overflowing with bubbles, or a bill from a tailor when a button comes loose?

Everyone gets a flat tire from time to time. And instead of having your kid rely on expensive tow services or potentially not-so-well-intentioned strangers, teaching them how to pop on that spare will keep them safer in the long run.

A little gratitude goes a long way in life, and teaching your kids to be truly grateful to those who have been kind to them will serve them well over the years. You can start this practice at a young age by having them write thank-you notes for birthday presents, and make sure they continue doing the same as they age, like sending thank-you emails after job interviews.

Saying "I love you" isn't the only way to express your love for someone, nor is it a phrase that should only be used in romantic contexts. Caring for others, doing kind things for them, and saying those three little words to platonic friends can help kids feel emotionally fulfilled in childhood and beyond.

And being able to end relationships in a compassionate way is important, too. "There is no class for this, but we know that every child and adult will need to have a break up eventually," says Wijkstrom. "We should encourage children to do this by offering closure, and anticipating emotional pain along the way."

Having the tools to get you through day-to-day life is admirable, but knowing when you need a hand—and not being ashamed to ask for one—is just as important. Once your kids have left the nest, it's going to be essential for them to be comfortable asking others for help, whether hanging a framed photo on the wall or learning a new skill at work. And for some additions to your own arsenal of abilities, check out these 40 Skills Everyone Over 40 Should Know.

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Parents as Teachers - Teach Life Skills to Your ChildThe Center for Parenting Education

One of the most important jobs parents have is preparing their children for the day when they will leave home and enter the “real world.” When the time comes, will your children know how to handle the little things like:

• doing laundry,
• preparing meals,
• or scheduling needed appointments?

And what about the bigger things like:

• managing a home,
• building relationships,
• and tackling problems?

When you think about it, being a “grown-up” is a lot of work. So how do you make sure that your kids know what to do when the time comes?

One of the best ways parents prepare their children for adulthood is by acting as their teacher and role model to help them learn the many skills they will need. These skills can include everything from basic household tasks like vacuuming and cooking to handling more complex responsibilities like managing a budget or a difficult social situation.

Your job, if done correctly, lays the groundwork so that your children will have what it takes and know what is needed to be an independent adult, including how to do all those chores!

As a parent, you have many opportunities throughout any day to influence and teach your children. Sometimes that can happen deliberately, like when you show them how to tie their shoes; or it can happen unintentionally, as your children observe you doing things, like paying a cashier at a store for something you just purchased.

The following ways describe how parents can most effectively influence and teach their children:
 

Model appropriate behaviors

What you do and how you behave as an adult tends to be the biggest influence on how your children act. They are watching and learning from you every day. You can use this fact to help instruct your children.

For example:

If you want to teach your children the importance of treating people kindly, let them see you write a thank you note for a gift.

If you want to teach them to ask for help when they need it, you can give them specific ways they can help you when you are feeling overwhelmed.

Your children learn best how to do things by watching what you do.
 

Discuss the how’s and why’s of different tasks and skills

Children are more likely to perform certain tasks and chores when they clearly understand what it is they should be doing and why.

For example:

If one of your goals is to teach your children how to cook, it helps to explain to them all the steps involved and encourage them to ask questions.

With younger children, keep it simple. They can do small jobs, like gathering ingredients and washing vegetables.

With older ones, you can teach them how to plan menus, show them how to shop for a variety of foods, and teach them the steps involved with storing food, cooking, and cleaning up.

While you work, discuss why doing all those things is important – Is it so that they will become self-sufficient? Or is it so that they can create balanced meals to keep their bodies healthy?

The clearer you are about why you want your children to learn something or acquire a certain skill, the more likely it will be that they will see the relevance of doing so and thus be more receptive to the lessons.
 

Talk to your children!

In addition to sharing information, talking helps to build relationships. It is through connections that people learn to trust each other and grow. The more your children feel secure in their relationship with you, the more readily they will learn from you.

As you spend time together, share with them your experiences, feelings, and values related to the skills being taught. Invite your children to share with you their feelings and thoughts, and help them to identify their pride and sense of accomplishment when they learn something new or finish a task.

These internal feelings then become the self-motivating factors that drive your children to continue to learn.
 

Work until the teaching becomes part of their routine

Children need and deserve your help, especially when they are struggling to learn a new skill. And they will continue to need your help as they grow and develop.

Often parents think that they need to say something only once and their children will get it. But that is frequently not the case. It takes patience on the part of parents to teach and re-teach a skill.
 

Let your kids make their own decisions.

It can be hard to stand by as they learn from their mistakes, accept the consequences of their choices, and figure out new tactics.

But this, too, is part of working with your kids!
 

Raising children is a process that takes years. The reality is that over the 18 or more years your children live with you they will need you to remind them, teach them, and support them as they grow and mature.

Making sure your children have essential life skills can feel like an enormous task. This is because you play a key role in providing them with many opportunities to learn about how the world works, in allowing them to make decisions, and in encouraging them to learn from their mistakes.

But with patience, understanding, and a few “tricks of the trade,” you will surely teach your children the way to success!
 

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5 main skills - Snob

What skills are in demand in the modern world and specifically in our country? And how ready are parents to instill them in their children? The author has compiled his own list and invites you to discuss it and other possible options

Usually, due to my nature, it is not easy for me to write materials dedicated to some calendar events such as New Year or Christmas. And now, in the first days of the coming year, the results or forecasts somehow didn’t cross my mind, and I decided to shift the responsibility from myself to others.

Thus, my parents turned out to be responsible for summing up the results, whom I “caught” in the corridor of my clinic in one December week, but I would like to discuss the forecast with respected readers of Snob in the discussion that we have with you, I hope after this post will take place.

What exactly did I do? Briefly and consistently lured 35 adults into her office - ordinary visitors to our children's clinic. Their age is approximately from 35 to 45 years. I didn’t ask for sure, because for my purposes it didn’t matter much, it’s just that in my opinion I didn’t choose the youth, but those already mature for years. 10 men and 25 women, all, of course, have children, the majority - 24 people - not even one child each, but two or three. There was one mother of many children with four children.

I told all parents about the following:

— The upbringing of children is different from people to people, from era to era and depending on geographical location.

— At different times and in different places, different things and skills are especially important in the upbringing of children.

— Once and somewhere, belching at the table after a meal was considered a compliment to the hosts of the feast — they fed well. In Gone with the Wind, Scarlett O'Hara describes an intermediate option - old matrons can still burp at the table, and young, corseted girls are already indecent. When I was growing up on my own, it was already indecent for everyone.

- Previously, perhaps the most important thing was to raise a child "in the fear of God", that is, in the ability to correlate their behavior with religious standards. Now for an urban child, this, as a rule, is irrelevant.

— Brushing your teeth every day is an important and obligatory skill that was once not particularly instilled in children by parents.

— And now think and tell me, please, the five most important things, skills that a modern urban parent should independently or with the help of other people teach their children in the process of upbringing and education, until they (the children) grow up. Of course, there are many more than five of these skills, but for now, name only the five most important and important, in your opinion.

More than half of the parents, barely thinking, tried to immediately throw the responsibility back:

— Give more examples. It is desirable to be closer to our life, and not about burping and the fear of God. (It is clear that my examples were intentionally distant, so that there were no "leads").

— And what do you yourself consider important?

— And what is right from the point of view of psychology?

— And if everything is important, how to choose?

And even:

— Tell me, what is the most important thing for the child himself? I would choose this.

I deftly dodged the double throwing of responsibility, but in the end I promised my parents after the end of the survey on the designated day to satisfy everyone's curiosity by simply writing and hanging on my office door five of my points. Whoever wants to come in and read it.

Now - directly about the results. In my opinion, they are quite remarkable.

The five main things and skills that a modern parent should teach their children as they grow up. I have summarized the rationale and slightly reduced it. The rating is based on the frequency of mention.

1. Knowledge of the English language - without it now you will not get anywhere in life and you will not get a good job anywhere. In addition, English is a chance to become a citizen of the world.
2. The ability to defend one's interests, not to compromise them, to be able to clearly formulate them for oneself and for others. The current world is redundant in every sense, and therefore highly competitive; if you mumble, give in and clap your mitten - you will simply be devoured or thrown to the side of the road.
3. The ability and desire to learn, to constantly acquire new knowledge, skills and successfully pass tests and exams on them. That is, not just to learn and learn something, but also to be able to apply it, “show the product face” if necessary. Knowing where and how new knowledge is obtained, and the desire to get to where it can be obtained (motivation to gain more knowledge and more education).
4. Taking care of your health means giving it time, attention, understanding how it all works.
5. The ability not to close all your interests in games and social networks like TikTok and others, but to live a real life in the real world. Chat with friends, have all sorts of other interests. To my question “How exactly should a modern parent build training for this undoubtedly important skill?” Unfortunately, I didn't get a clear answer.

To my second and last question, “Are you able to bring all this in your children?” seven answered yes, 22 said “partially yes, we are working on the rest”, and six answered “unfortunately not yet, but I will keep trying”.

Among other important skills in the lists compiled by parents:

- the ability to "find yourself", as well as to set a goal and achieve it. Here, again, I did not quite understand how exactly, according to the respondents, this skill should be trained. By direct imitation of the behavior of parents and other people around the child (and if the parent himself “did not find himself”?)? Game training on the computer? An early release of a child “into the world, into free swimming”, like the heroine of the movie “Foundling”? Some other way? Clarifying questions to my parents did not dispel my bewilderment, but the item remained popular;

• love for animals;
• respect for elders and teachers;
• knowledge of Chinese;
• be able to occupy and serve oneself;
• ecological consciousness, reasonable attitude to consumption;
• understanding and application of the maxim "time for work, hour for fun";
• tolerance for non-dangerous "others" of any kind and kind.

After summing up the results, as I promised, I hung my list “The five most important skills that are brought up in the family, according to psychologist K. Murashova” on the door of the office:

• The ability to please other people, the ability to listen and hear them, and not wait impatiently to say something yourself (for this, parents just need to instill in their children the skill and habit of being sincerely interested in other people, the principle of learning is imitation).
• The ability to “take a hit”, attentive human understanding and practical development of each component of the biological triad “hit-freeze-run”. Learning by doing ordinary everyday life with an analysis of what is happening with the help of parents.
• The ability to see, hear and, if possible, systematically understand the surrounding world of nature, the urban landscape, the Universe, the virtual world and the individual, to notice and realize their evolution (at first acquired only by direct imitation, then by self-education).
• By the age of 17, at least some (any) holistic worldview.
• The ability to feel and realize oneself all the time as a body, as a psyche, as a soul (the latter - ideally) in the context of other bodies, psyches and souls that are nearby. Acquired a) "fuss" with peers and relatives in early childhood, b) insults, quarrels (you and you) and receiving various feedback at school, camp yard, circle, family, c) growing over one's natural egoism in education (enlightenment ), friendship, family system, friendship and love. The role of parents is not to interfere.

Now I would like to know your opinion, dear readers: what do you think is the main thing and how will all this develop further in our culture and civilization? It is clear that the two polar points here are:

• perfectly formulated by all parents, this is exactly how children should be raised in the modern world, and this is how everything will be, it is those who are brought up that way who will succeed, and the psychologist is talking high-flown and meaningless nonsense;
• The psychologist is right, and the Dalai Lama also said something like that, but with such parental attitudes as described above, we all over the world are falling into the darkness of selfishness and the abyss of lack of spirituality, and in general, the end of time is near.

It is obvious that both extremes, most likely, have nothing to do with reality, but something from the options that lie closer to the middle of the scale will come true. But how exactly will it be? And what are the main points of transmission "from parents to children" would you single out?

If you have something to say on the topic of this post, but you are not a subscriber of the Snob project site and a member of the club, you can register on the site and leave your comment below the text or send your opinion to: [email protected]. Please, indicate where you are from, for example: “Elena writes from St. Petersburg”, “Anna writes from Germany”.

More texts about psychology, relationships, children and education - in our telegram channel "Project Snob - Personal". Join

The 30 Most Important Things Parents Can Teach Your Child

Home Ideas / Family and children

1. Magic words

2. Respect for elders

3. Honesty

4. Thrift

5. Vigilance towards strangers

6. Hand washing

7. Teeth cleaning

8. Proper attitude towards money

9. Kindness

10. Self-confidence

11. Diligence

12. The ability to say "no"

13. Independence

14. Swimming

15. Love for Animals

16. Ability to lose

17. Etiquette

18. Patience

19. Comparison of desires and possibilities

20. Mental arithmetic

21. Eating vegetables

22. Time orientation

23. Dressing Yourself

24. Forgiveness

25.

26. Driving a car

27. Ability to cook

28. Orientation

29. Own opinion

30. Sports

Whatever the priorities in the upbringing of children, the main life values ​​will always be relevant and valuable, so try to instill in your child everything that will make him an independent, kind, sociable, sympathetic, cultured and comprehensively developed person.

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