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Fisher Price - Soft Play

FISHER-PRICE® Play Areas bring fabulous toddler brands like Little PeopleTM and Thomas the Tank EngineTM to life.

Fisher-Price® is famous for baby toys and toddler toys that are imaginative and engaging. Create a unique play area with characters from Bubble GuppiesTM, Dora and FriendsTM, Little PeopleTM, Mickey Mouse ClubhouseTM, OctonautsTM, Thomas & FriendsTM and more.  Soft Play’s® agreement with licensing company HIT EntertainmentTM now allows retail and lifestyle centers, attractions, resorts and family entertainment centers the opportunity to bring these characters into their location.

CBL & Associates Properties, Inc. and Soft Play, LLC are pleased to announce a multi-year partnership with Fisher-Price, Inc., one of the world’s leading infant and preschool toy manufacturers, and a subsidiary of Mattel, Inc., to design soft play area attractions at select CBL centers nationwide.

“We are thrilled to be the first shopping center owner to partner with Fisher-Price on such a project,” said Stephen Lebovitz, President and CEO of CBL & Associates Properties, Inc. “Children’s play areas have always been an important amenity at CBL shopping centers. This partnership will allow us to provide families and children an unparalleled experience with characters and toys they know and love.”

The play areas will resemble a larger-than-life Toy Box featuring iconic brands like Thomas & Friends™, Little People® and more.  Soft Play, LLC, long-time partner of CBL, will bring these highly recognizable and well-loved characters to life in interactive, engaging attractions exclusive to CBL malls.

“Partnering with Fisher-Price was such a natural fit based on our companies shared focus of capturing imaginations and creating one-of-a-kind experiences,” stated Jeff Evans, Director of Business Development at Soft Play, LLC. “What better way for kids and families to connect with these iconic characters than introducing them in a larger than life Toy Box! CBL has always challenged us to deliver first class play areas to the communities it serves, and I believe we’ve done exactly that with this design.  I can’t wait for the grand openings!”

“When these play attractions open, families with young children across the country will experience the thrill of stepping into a toy box filled with their favorite toys,” said Geoff Walker, Executive Vice President, Commercial, North America for Mattel. “Children will be able to play amongst larger-than-life classics that have been loved for generations. It’s going to be like a child’s dream come to life.”

The five-year partnership kicks off this fall with the first three attractions opening at West Towne Mall in Madison, WI; Asheville Mall in Asheville, NC; and Monroeville Mall in Monroeville, PA, just in time for the 2015 holiday season. Three additional attractions will open in early 2016 and locations will be announced in the coming months. Over the next three years, the partnership is planned to extend to more than eighteen malls across the country.

 About Fisher-Price

In 1931, Herman Fisher and Irving Price embarked on a journey to change the toy industry. Their goal: creating playthings that inspire a child’s development. More than 80 years later, Fisher-Price remains deeply rooted in the belief that play is the way children learn best.  To this day, understanding the importance of play in building a child’s skills is the fundamental principle, as the company strives to enrich the lives of families with young children around the globe. United by the passion for a child’s safe care and development at each age and stage, the people of Fisher-Price work tirelessly to bring families the best toys and baby products in the world. Some of the company’s best-known brands include Laugh & Learn®, Little People®, Power Wheels®, and Imaginext®. Fisher-Price is a subsidiary of Mattel, Inc. (NASDAQ:MAT). For more information, visit www.fisher-price.com (U.S.) and www.fisher-price.ca (Canada) or connect with Fisher-Price on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest.

About Thomas & Friends™
Thomas the Tank Engine was created by a father for his son 69 years ago and today is enjoyed by families in more than 185 territories and in 30 languages. The #1 blue engine and his friends invite children to enter a world of imagination through the tracks of a train and the words of a story. Children embark on adventures with their engine friends while experiencing timeless life lessons of discovery, friendship and cooperation. Thomas & Friends makes tracks to great destinations on PBS KIDS®, Sprout® and on Five’s Milkshake! and Nick Jr in the UK and on CCTV in China. Downloadable episodes are available through iTunes. For more information about the world of Thomas the Tank Engine™ and his friends, please visit https://www. thomasandfriends.com/.

About Soft Play

Soft Play is the global provider of unique, interactive indoor, outdoor and water play areas and playground equipment.  Family-friendly businesses that want to stand out, hire Soft Play to create powerful play experiences.  Soft Play’s commercial playground equipment and themed soft play areas are designed to engage children, drive traffic and enhance its customer’s brands.  Thousands of families EXPERIENCE Soft Play every day at malls, restaurants, airports, stadiums, childcare centers, healthcare centers, fitness centers, churches, resorts, water parks, and museums – any place that kids and toddlers play.

About CBL & Associates Properties, Inc.

CBL is one of the largest and most active owners and developers of malls and shopping centers in the United States. CBL owns, holds interests in or manages 147 properties, including 90 regional malls/open-air centers. The properties are located in 30 states and total 84. 0 million square feet including 6.5 million square feet of non-owned shopping centers managed for third parties. Headquartered in Chattanooga, TN, CBL has regional offices in Boston (Waltham), MA, Dallas (Irving), TX, and St. Louis, MO. Additional information can be found at cblproperties.com.

‎Learn & Play by Fisher-Price on the App Store

Description

Play-based app full of games, activities and songs about ABCs, colors, shapes and more! Learn & Play is designed by experts to delight and entertain your little learner.

Learn & Play by Fisher-Price, powered by HOMER is a safe, play-based app designed to delight and entertain your little one. By consolidating content across Fisher-Price apps, Learn & Play creates a comprehensive digital experience for little learners. Each ad-free game and activity is designed by academics and researchers, fun-tested by kids, and created to help your child explore, play, and learn!

• Learning through play: Familiar characters guide your child through fun games and activities as they learn about ABC's, colors, and more.
• Find activities you know, and discover new ones! Learn & Play by Fisher-Price incorporates some of the activities kids (and parents) love from other Fisher-Price apps, in addition to introducing your little one to new experiences they’ll love!
• Grows with your child: Designed by academics and researchers to support your child through the early stages of learning and development.
• Safe: Kid-safe, ad-free, curated content ensures a safe digital learning environment.
• 2 modes of play:
1) Let Them Play:
- Simple, child-friendly experience is perfect for “Do It Myself”ers.
- Looks like play, acts like play – must be learning foundational skills!
- They learn something new every day. Some days it’s cause and effect, other days it’s shapes and colors.
- Designed with story-loving, song-singing, little explorers in mind – your child will love watching, listening and playing their way through learning content.
2) Play Together:
- Show them how it’s done! It’s easy to guide your child’s learning through the activities and games with our GrownUp View.
- What will they learn today? Choose from counting, shapes, colors, helping others, and learning about the world around us.
- Ah, that’s the stuff. Enjoy a selection of soothing sounds, songs and lullabies to relax to.
- There’s more where that came from! Our experts will send you daily Play Tips to keep the fun going.

Version 7.0.0

In addition to working out some bugs, you'll discover refreshed content and playtips. Plus, keep an eye out for some old favorites making a comeback!

Ratings and Reviews

131 Ratings

0 plays left

My 3 year old daughter absolutely loves this app. However, it ended up saying she had 0 plays left. Nowhere on the app allows you to purchase. Or pay for more plays. It says unlock for free plays so we go in and enter our information but then says my email already exist. And again, with no option to pay for more plays. So she’s been really upset. I had to enter another email. I hope this isn’t the only way to play this app.
Other than that, I would have given 5 stars.

We would love to look into this for you! Please reach out to our Member Experience team at [email protected].

Would love to see more app games!

My son absolutely loves this app. But unfortunately children do grow I do hope to see more fantastic app games for him in the mere future. However I do have one request since this was also a fisher price game. Do you happen to have fisherprice’s pet shop game back when it was on the pc? I played it with my son on the pc he loved it but thought the game was something he could touch on screen than use the computer mouse lol that game would be wonderful on the app devices. I hope it isn’t much trouble but if it is I guess will just stick with the pc version. But he did enjoy this app very much and I highly recommend this for new parents with children.

Aww I miss the old app!

My first child is 7 yrs old now but back when he was just 6 months old to around 2/3 yrs we both enjoyed the old fisher price apps so much that when I had my newest little one I wanted to download the apps again only to find out there no longer on the App Store and now there’s a new version, the new version is okay but I gotta say the old app with the cute little rhymes like Pattycake and the itsy bitsy spider was our fav this app only has one rhyme witch is “1,2 buckle my shoe” witch we also love but disappointed that this app only includes one rhyme for the rhymes section witch is misleading as it’s labeled (Rhymes). Please bring back the old app!

Thank you for reaching out! We had to say goodbye to some beloved songs to consolidate content across the Fisher-Price apps. Please know that we made these changes to set up a more robust experience for little learners, and will continue to add content. We’ll consider your feedback as we make updates in the coming months!

The developer, Homer, indicated that the app’s privacy practices may include handling of data as described below. For more information, see the developer’s privacy policy.

Data Linked to You

The following data may be collected and linked to your identity:

  • Contact Info
  • Identifiers
  • Usage Data
  • Diagnostics

Privacy practices may vary, for example, based on the features you use or your age. Learn More

Information

Seller
HomerLearning, Inc.

Size
350.7 MB

Category
Games

Age Rating
4+, Made for Ages 0–5

Copyright
© 2020 Conscious Content Media, Inc.

Price
Free

  • Developer Website
  • App Support
  • Privacy Policy

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Read online “Ice Fisherman. Altraum I”, Tata Oleinik – Litres

Chapter 1

I woke up, as usual, in the dark, through the blinds there was still a lantern light, not real. November 20, until dawn for a long time. Today I turn 18 and today I will be frozen.

Well, how will they freeze. In fact, there will be no frost, no frost on the skin, no white ice in the veins, nothing like that - Peter Ivanovich explained everything to me, the body temperature will be lowered to eight degrees. Enough just for proper brain activity and to live approximately forever, almost all the processes in the body will slow down so much that any turtle, compared to me, will be like a little jet fighter bursting with energy. Turtles have a temperature of as much as twenty-five degrees, so they can live for two hundred years, rarely more.

But I don't need eternity. I need to wait some five or six years, at most ten, already now they have learned to do something very interesting with my leukemia, to program cells against it and all that, and in five years they will almost certainly learn to even treat it.

Only I don't have five years. I don't even have five months.

As Peter Ivanovich said, the disease went for broke and won. Enraged cells staged a revolution, and now the body is losing control over everything that happens in it. I haven't been able to sit down for two weeks now. And in the near future I will forget how to swallow, speak and breathe.

And it's very, very unpleasant. I know what I'm talking about, because it already happened to me, eight years ago, then they kept me on the machines, and they already wanted, as they say, to let me go, but a medical miracle happened and the damned leukemia decided to leave me for later, in reserve . I then recovered so much that my parents even took me to the sea. On a wheelchair, of course, and in a mask, but still it was the best adventure of my life.

And today, perhaps, something will come that is even better than the sea. I'm even scared to think about it - I'm afraid to jinx it. Although Petr Ivanovich, and the one from Lesto, assured that there could be no failures, that Altraum was full of people like me, playing and everything was fine with them.

But I'm still that lucky guy, I managed to get such a rare sore that one in a hundred million a year falls ill on Earth. It's a fucking jackpot.

Although the fact that I managed to reach eighteen is already good luck. For several years, my parents and the hospital tried to influence everyone - deputies, journalists, international organizations - to lift the ban on connecting minors to Altraum if, like me, they die, for example, or are completely paralyzed. But it's all for nothing. A cruel game, not politically correct, chauvinistic, bad habits, traumatizing the psyche, molestation of minors - la-la-three rubles.

Papa says that this is the most vile hypocrisy common to mankind, which individually consists of very smart people, but all together is stupid as a log. And although Lesto was registered in some island state that didn’t give a damn about international laws and just about started screaming that the damned imperialists were encroaching on sovereignty and national traditions, but even in this paradise of smugglers and traffickers, one had to not step over some borders so as not to run into at all. And lawyers will never allow the company to plant a pig in the form of a minor who needs to be protected by the whole world from all sorts of virtual horrors such as sex, violence and alcohol.

That's why the parents were getting cute-moron responses like ah-ah, what a pity, hope your boy gets better, but in the meantime, there are many great VR games and spaces for young ones ...

Yeah, we know these games. On antediluvian helmets with outgoing contacts. There you can stroke bugged puppies on square heads, and if you are not very sick, then even ride a train on a very, very uncool roller coaster for a minute and a half. There is the only real VR game in the world - in which billions and billions are swelled, which is played by tens, and on weekends - almost hundreds of millions, under which capsules are released, standing in the Lesto centers of any more or less decent city in the world. And this is Altraum. Strictly forbidden to anyone under the age of eighteen. Incredible scenarios, an endless story, mind-blowing graphics and, most importantly, fantastic technology, including bio-technology. Thanks to which a person can be frozen - and he will continue to live, and will not turn into a vegetable with forever extinct brain cells.

Lots of rich old people sponsored this toy - everyone knows this, although the owners and shareholders are formally anonymous - they poured huge amounts of money into it, precisely to live in it with all the comforts, while their heirs howl in the courts, demanding to unplug the poor grandparents from the outlet and do not torment the old people, and give the already long-awaited billions into the hands of legitimate grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Ha ha... Yes, Lesto's lawyers are even cooler than their technicians and programmers. I read the transcripts of these trials like humorous fiction, honestly. I used to read a lot. A lot, a lot, I still couldn't do anything else. Read everything that comes to hand. Movies are also good, sometimes you can watch, but still watching is very slow, and I swallowed books and other texts at a second cosmic speed. Before, of course, while he was small. For a long time now I can hardly read - I get very tired and forget a lot. Too many drugs and too much pain.

That's why I'm scared. I do not really believe that once in Altraum, I will feel better.

They say that everything is different there than in ordinary VR toys - I will not feel tired, weak, sick or sick. And I will feel like a normal healthy person. I just don't know how an ordinary healthy person feels. I fell ill at the age of five, and before that I remember almost nothing.

Here, at least when you are completely tired, you can just give up and it will all be over. And you won’t do anything in the capsule, you will lie like a cold and suffering log for as long as it takes.

However, I probably won't lie there for long anyway. My parents organized an individual capsule for me - they sold the apartment of grandmother Olya, which was supposed to go to Dinka - this is how my grandmother bequeathed. She was very sorry for Dean. On the one hand - why feel sorry for her, she is healthy. On the other hand, if you think about it, it also becomes sad. My parents gave birth to Dinka especially for me. Yes Yes. When there was still hope that a bone marrow transplant would help me, my parents donated eggs and everything else, gave away their last savings - and geneticists collected Dinka for them - an ideal donor for their beloved son, with maximum tissue compatibility. She's ten now, we're fine with her. She is a girl that needs to be - although small, but smart, and it is interesting to talk with her. But parents could still do more with her. I am extremely grateful to them, but sometimes I understand that they are too obsessed with me. My father works two jobs, my mother is at my bedside as a nurse, a nanny, beats out quotas for me for medicines, for experimental treatment, exhausts the veins of specialists ... And Dinka grows by itself, like grass. But she's really smart and nice. If everything works out, then I won’t talk to Dinka for a long time. Parents will be able to use the capsules in the centers to visit me, but Dinka is not allowed to do that. And we simply won’t be able to get on the net - my Internet access will be closed, you won’t even look at the Altraum gaming forums, there is no such function that you can look somewhere without leaving the game, alas. However, there, they say, even newspapers are published by someone, and there are some books.

But apart from the capsule itself, there are other expenses. The content of the frozen in the center under medical supervision is not included in any insurance, and this is wild money. One hundred and twenty dollars a day, approximately, if you count together with a subscription for the game, although a subscription compared to everything else is a penny. You can play from the gaming center without subscribing at all - pay only for renting a capsule - twenty dollars for three hours. But many players still fork out for a personal capsule at home - most, of course, buy the simplest ones, without such bells and whistles as mine - but this is still the price of a good car. There, two hundred dollars a month subscription, just like mine. But, I repeat, the subscription is nonsense, but the medical bills for my parents will be unbearable. Of course, they don’t tell me anything like that, but I’m not yet blind or deaf, and I haven’t forgotten how to count. Almost four thousand greenbacks a month - the father does not earn close to that much. It was enough to pay for the sold apartments a year in advance, and then - total uncertainty. But I know them, they will sell their only housing, and they will go to live with Dinka on the street, and they will rob a bank - if I need to. That's how they are with me, carried away by me.

So I'll have to learn how to make money in the game. Which is quite real, since Lesto officially allows players to sell game money, they have banks there for this. Because of this, they were also attacked by the regulatory, tax and financial authorities of all countries of the world, so far in some countries they are trying to block and cut this business, but, thank God, not here, we have no time for this, you know.

I used to read a lot and thought about ways to earn gold in the game, I made some plans, but since my head started to hurt so much and my thoughts turned into boiled noodles, I somehow started this business. Anyway, I forget almost everything at once, as I come up with it, like that. Harsh chemicals, antibiotics and painkillers - the best recipe for the "Dumb Apathy" cocktail.

A nurse and an orderly came, raised the blinds, and gave two of my neighbors pills. I was wiped with a damp sponge, changing what was needed. Well, yes, I'm in diapers now. And I'm almost not ashamed, I don't care. And in capsules, any player - with a space waste disposal system, otherwise nothing, all the real needs of the body are ignored by the brain in the game, although, as they wrote, game sex can also manifest itself in reality, but I’m not boom-boom at all, to be honest, sex is a purely theoretical concept for me. But he was in love - with one girl in the hospital before last. But she died quickly, and I don’t want to remember about it. Yes, and I don’t remember anything really, we were twelve years old, a very long time ago, everything is in a fog.

Parents arrived at ten, mother was crying again. I was upset that they did not take Dinka with them, but, probably, my mother did not want to be distracted from me in the end.

Then a lawyer and an employee of Lesto talked to me, and some guy from the hospital, I signed papers for all sorts of actions with my frozen body. It turned out that no matter what nickname I have in the game, they will recognize me by the number of the game account, and their representative in the game will write me a letter, I can meet him when I get to a large city. My nickname will be given to my parents and in what place I will start playing, so that they also go to that location when they decide to visit me.

Gave me a little instruction on choosing race and class. The rest of the players, for an additional fee, can change the character to a new one if they don’t like something, and I will have to play with whatever I choose - that’s why I was asked to answer the initial test as honestly as possible and thinking very well, not to rush in any case, because the class will be generated including test results. I was warned that at the beginning of the game I might have strange sensations due to cooling, but after a few hours everything will return to normal. They will freeze me here, because it is already dangerous to transport me unfrozen, and then they will carefully transport me to a special center, so there may still be residual dizziness when moving the capsule.

Then my mother kissed me for a long time, sobbed, and my father also became a little unglued, and it was all unbearable, but I still did not want to let them go, like a little one. But once they got out, it got easier.

The capsule was beautiful, steel blue, smelled of ozone and was cool inside. In general, a long briefing on the use of an individual capsule is required - but with me this stage was skipped, because there is no need. I won't post myself there anyway. All sensors, hoses and fasteners were connected, Petr Ivanovich smiled at me, said that we would see each other “when there is good news”, and then the capsule lid closed accurately and gently.

Darkness - velvet, with sparks. Buzzing in the ears thinly.

And then, out of the darkness in front of me, I formed. Something like a loincloth. You can’t look without tears - of course, I knew how I looked, once again I tried not to look in the mirror, but then my breath caught. A bald, skinny worm with a perceptibly bloated belly and puffy cheeks. The puffiness is mostly from the drugs, I know, but the heart is no longer able to cope.

"Would you like to change your appearance?" they asked me in a soft and deep female voice.

- I wish! Turns out I can talk here too.

I fiddled around for half an hour, no less. Gained height, made the skin not so whitish. He didn’t add much muscle, he was modest, but he increased his shoulders - instead of a worm, he turned out to be quite a model, one of those that all sorts of gucci-shmucci advertise, there are no bodybuilders there, designers love it when their rags flutter beautifully on people-hangers. I made myself eyebrows and eyelashes. And I grew the hair on my head to the waist in general - since you can finally break away with a haircut, otherwise I don’t even remember what color they were in reality. It will be inconvenient - I will gather in the tail or even cut my hair, there are probably hairdressers there. It turns out that if puffiness and baldness are removed, then I am very personal. Could be…

"Choose a name - a maximum of three parts"

Nikita Dmitrievich Strogin? Well, I do not. Unlucky name. And if you play with the first letters? Nidmist… it’s awkward to pronounce… what if you throw out a couple of extra ones? Nimis .. but what? Very even nothing. The second can be in honor of the sister. Nimis Dinkan, for example. We can do without the third one, there is no need for excesses.

The game has confirmed that there are no more Nimis Dinkans in the game - I am inimitable and unique. Well, yes, I am. I caught myself thinking that for the first time in a long time I feel quite tolerably - despite the fact that I did not feel my body at all - one inquisitive brain peering into the letters.

"Select your preferred language".

There was an idea to choose English - after all, the vast majority of players are from English-speaking regions, there is enough money for people to play games, although the Chinese also play a lot. Then I decided that my spikeinglish skill was still not enough, and the built-in translators are evil, besides, it’s possible to change the language later, but at first we won’t show off ... “Russian”. Well, there will be less people in the starting location - the more convenient, less competition..

"Selected region: players' primary origin is Eastern Europe, please confirm."

Looked at the list of countries that are included in the region. Apparently, it is supposed that it will be more fun and easier for all of us to play with each other here, because we love each other like neighbors. Yeah, of course... I feel that political relations in the region will be... interesting. Maybe it's not too late for the Chinese - away from sin?

"Choose a race"

Altraum meant "races" for who knows what. I happened to play ordinary computer games - so far they didn’t make me sick, there are usually elves-humans, all sorts of gnomes-orcs. And here is a long, forty-point list of some scales, raccos, adyleys ... you select one line with a glance - and the character changes slightly: brightens, darkens, the tip of his nose is flattened - but nothing cardinal. The descriptions are also unclear.

“Carry the race – the inhabitants of the forests, hunters and gatherers, skillful shooters…” it must be something classy. “People carry better than others see in the dark, they quickly develop the “Speed” parameter and the “Logging” skill.

Yeah, small bonuses. And, probably, special quests. They write on the Internet that the main feature of Altraum is randomly generated individual quests, many of which are completely unique and are generated after certain actions of a particular character.

I almost chose "carry" - but then looked at the character - and shuddered. The guy completely disappeared whites - one pupil for the entire eye. And also yellow. Well, no thanks. At least in the game, I want to have a normal, normal appearance! I dug a little more into the races and realized that I did not understand anything. It was necessary either to prepare better, or to take the first one that came across. For example, "increased growth rate of the Fishing skill and the Luck parameter." I have always dreamed of going fishing at least once in my life. Dad promised that as soon as I recover ... And I will definitely need luck. What race is it anyway? "Belovodets"? Did the character's horns and tail not grow back? No, but the hair turned red almost to red, and the eyes turned gray and became a little more transparent or something. Well, okay. I am a Belovodist, I confirm.

Then the torment began. The program bombarded me with questions. I named my favorite color, smell and animal. Marked in the list what I like and don't like (in style - I like ice cream and stars, snakes and dances - no). Choose the missing words from the suggested ones. He answered questions like “You are sitting in a room and then a stone flies through the window. Your actions a) I will look out the window to see what is happening there, b) I will choose a safe place, suddenly a second one will fly in ... ”And so on and so forth.

I remembered that I was advised to take the test seriously and tried my best. As far as I remember, a lot depended on the class, unlike the race, in Altraum, and there are almost a thousand of these classes, and no one has yet compiled a complete list of them, all the time there are some innovations. There are well-known and sought-after, but there is no idea what. The “temple paladin” class, for example, was called on the forums nothing more than “cheating imba”, and a person with the “born pickpocket” class, as I remember, the first forty commentators advised not to spare money for a second attempt to create a character, and the forty-first wrote, that playing this class promises to be exciting, but it's still better to change classes, unless you want to sit twenty hours a day in the stocks at the pillory while the respectable public hurls rotten vegetables at you.

The questions became more and more strange “What is more frightening - the rustle of steps, the creak of glass, a drop of blood ...” and personal “Indicate how vengeful you are on a scale from one to twelve, where twelve is “very vindictive”.

It was written on the forums that with these wild questions the game simply masks the fact that it takes an indecently long time for the first full connection in the player's capsule, and the character's class is chosen randomly according to the principle "to whom God will send". As evidence, evidence was cited that one person, creating several characters in a row, answered questions relatively the same (“relatively” - because the questions changed slightly each time) - and received completely different classes. Nevertheless, I decided to be respectful of the recommendations of the specialist from Lesto and honestly tried to follow them. But in the end, I nevertheless issued a sacramental “Yes, you are kidding me!” seeing that you need to choose - in which cases drowning is preferable to strangulation, and in which - vice versa

a) you choose a punishment for your former PE teacher

b) you want to make a sacrifice to the dark gods

c) you cook fried chicken

d) you destroy a mafia boss.

- I didn't have a physical education teacher. I said to the test.

"Thank you for your answers. Your character class is being generated!"

Well, hello, my new destiny!

"Congratulations, your Forest Witch class! You are a specialist in charms, curses and folk medicine. Your bonus is the additional skill "Herbalism", 28, 27, 26…"

I didn't understand who I am?! - for which she received the stamps of "sexist" and "chauvinist". What a witch to all the saints?!

I fell headfirst into a huge world circling under me. Apparently, I had to fall for several kilometers - the seas spread under me, continents, forests, mountain ranges and small symmetrical spiral cities.

One more ingenious invention of the creators of Alraum, one must understand. Strong impressions from the first seconds, look what kind of world you got! Considering that the pain in the game is close to real and the laws of physics in terms of gravity should be approximately the same as on Earth, the moment of arrival should, apparently, become the strongest impression.

But I was more worried about not being able to break into a cake. I panicked for another reason - the hem of a real dress was beating and flapping around me.

Exactly, I'm a woman. Well, come on! Arrived, that is. Let me just get to that lawyer of theirs.

Moving in flight was no easier than in a hospital bed. But I tried to dodge all the same so as to grab myself by the loincloth. Then, just in case, he felt his chest properly.

No, it looks like I still haven't changed the sex given to me by nature. But why am I then a witch and in a dress?

Reflections were interrupted by the arrival at the destination, oddly enough - almost painless, as if he had fallen out of bed. Believe me, I am a big expert in falls from beds.

I was lying on the lawn under a tree, gazing up at the high amazing blue sky. Smells of grass, hay and, probably, manure. A flying butterfly fanned me with an insignificant breeze from its wings. Incredible, impossible realism. That doesn't happen.

Got up. Sat. He looked at his thin bare feet. Leaning against the trunk, he tried to carefully stand up and flew up, as if the body weighed almost nothing. I stood on my own feet, feeling neither pain nor fatigue, I breathed deeply. Slight chills and nervous excitement - that's all.

And all around - air. Lots and lots of air, fresh, cool, fragrant, so different from the stuffiness of the ward soaked in drugs and torment. I drank this air, and tears flowed from my eyes.

“Why did you dismiss the nurses, recruit?!” - barked in the back. I turned around very carefully - apparently, I also need to get used to the ease of movement. Under the tree stood an obvious warrior - in something green and definitely uniform, although this uniform was not similar to any of those that I could remember. Something between the costumes of a Cossack, a samurai and a member of the Greek guard of honor.

“Sorry,” I said, “but I don't seem to be a recruit.

“You are all recruits here,” said the warrior, picking his tooth with a straw. “What kind of class are you, fox brat?”

- Forest witch.

- I see that you are a witch, but you look like a man.

- I don't know. Maybe you mean the Witcher?

– Don’t… – the warrior spat, examined the straw skeptically and, grimacing, threw it behind his back with a click. “I have seen witchers, they are those who hunt witches.

– On me?

- Well, apparently. But witches have not been thrown here yet. Especially those who are men. However, there’s just no one to hang around here… So, recruit, stop messing around, let’s see what you’re good for.

I groaned, as something like a bronze disc rushed from the warrior's hand into my face - the disc turned in the air and turned into a small tablet hovering in front of my eyes.

"Sergeant Washboy is offering you basic training."

“Accept” was printed in large letters on the bottom. There was no “refuse” option, as well as the promise of some wonderful rewards, although from my little gaming experience I remembered what quests were supposed to be rewarded for.

- Look carefully at "accept" and try to mentally click on this word.

I tried and it worked.

- Good. Now tell me who I am.

- Sergeant Washboy?

- And besides that? Look at my chest and blink twice quickly. Not like that, blink faster. Where you're from, they didn't teach you how to blink?

“No, they didn’t,” I answered honestly.

- It is visible. Clap sharper and faster!

Between the lapels of the caftan on the mighty sergeant's chest lit up green "Sergeant Vosheboy, mentor of recruits."

- Now blink me back. Happened? And now look what kind of stone - a cobblestone appeared in the sergeant's not very clean paw.

I diligently blinked until my eyes hurt, but the stone was silent.

- Doesn't work? Something that does not come out, because it is an ordinary cobblestone. Whether you're a bricklayer, or a miner, or, I don't know, a jeweler, you might have seen something. And so at least blink. Now try this one.” The sergeant pulled a dusty rag from his pocket. - Come on, don't squint, but blink.

"Tattered Recruit Sack, eight slots."

- Not even a year has passed. Now take this bag and cling to you. And who knows how to cling? Where are you going to take him next, kulema! Like this, in the hand and in a circle with a bone drive. Repeat after me. Are you blind or something, fox brat? Do you hear the creak? So, he got hooked. Now open it, hold your hand like this and snap your fingers...

In ten minutes I learned how to open and close the bag, put an object (the same cobblestone) in it and take it out, as well as call up a personal window (absolutely nothing interesting - there were so far just a notification panel about letters that came to me (zero letters) and a list of my quests (only one, named after the glorious sergeant Vosheboy). 0003

On the other hand, if you blinked twice directly at your navel, you could learn a lot of interesting things about yourself. 10 points

Life 10"

- And the last thing - around this tree begoooom maaarsh!

- How long to run? I asked, slightly out of breath, at about the fiftieth lap.

- Until the ass lights up! the sergeant cheered. “Come on, don’t puff, keep up the pace.”

Ass glowing after another ten laps. True, not only she - I was completely doused like a warm rain of light.

“You have reached the first level.

Speed ​​+1

Run+1

Stamina+1

Life +2

Acquired the "Evil Eye" skill . Now scratch down the path to the barracks, you will find Sergeant Hole Punch there, you will receive a task from him.

– Please tell me why you keep calling me fox brat?

- Who else are you? the sergeant was surprised. - You have been outrageous with foxes there in Belovodie from time immemorial. That's why you, with such ears, are wandering around the world for people to laugh at.

– With what ears?!

I grabbed my head. In a mop of thick and lush red hair, shaggy animal ears were clearly palpable upright. Where were my eyes? Why did I grow these shag hairs for myself, behind which nothing could be seen ?!

A terrible thought hit me and I grabbed it again, but not by my head.

- Are you looking for a tail? the sergeant asked. “Don’t be afraid, only some of your girls have tails, and even then they fall off after the wedding, they say. Come on, scratch to the Hole Punch before I kick you there.

I moved straight to the path, parting the grass at the hem. I was still dressed not in a dress, but in something like a long linen shirt - however, after the hospital gowns, it still looked quite decent, at least without cuts in the back. And it was comfortable to run in it, the hem was wide enough not to turn into a hobble bag. However, the task of getting pants seemed to me one of the priorities. But not by herself. Going down the path from the hill, I turned around and, seeing that the sergeant was out of sight, quickly solved problem number one, using a stunted birch as a dubious shelter. The need to relieve myself in computer games was new to me, but on the other hand, the realism of Altraum did not imply a different approach to business. There was nowhere to wash my hands, so I broke off a burdock stem and rubbed my fingers with it. The fingers are green. Burdock smelled like burdock.

It was real life, with all those pop-up signs and fox ears, but life was incredibly plausible. And certainly much more normal than the one I had before. The wind was still fresh and noticeably colder. Although...

Then I shuddered, realizing that the chill I had been experiencing for a long time was probably the result of freezing my body. And again it became scary, unbearably scary, what if something goes wrong. I read a lot about cryomedicine, I knew that accidents and deaths during cooling are far from such a unique event, as Peter Ivanovich reassured me. In the end, my body is already at the limit, and by itself, without such tests, every second could stop working. Already after a successful freezing, lethality dropped to almost zero - however, the subsequent defrosting was even more dangerous than cooling, but you still have to live until defrosting.

Just don't think about it, I told myself. - Stand on the path, look at the distant horizon and breathe. Even if you die now, you will die happy and without pain. And in general, every person every second can completely unexpectedly end his life, you are not alone here, we are all in the same boat. Better start getting angry again because of stupid ears. Why don't I like them? Because I don't want to look ridiculous and pathetic. Let the girls wear ears - they love it, and I'm a man. Maybe they can be cut off somehow? Take in? All the time to walk in a panama hat?

A new wave of chills did not let the fear go. Then I decided to get angry at the fear itself and, on weakening legs, resolutely walked down to the gray wooden two-story building, which, apparently, was the barracks I was looking for. Sergeant Hole Punch was almost a copy of Sergeant Washboy, only with a mustache and a torn shirt.

After examining me without any pleasure, he ordered me to follow him to the courtyard of the barracks. There, on a dusty parade ground, stood several poles with sacks of scratched leather impaled on them, straw sticking out of the sacks. The top of each sack was tied tightly with tar-stinking rope, sort of like a head.

“Beat,” Hole Punch said.

- What?

- At least with your hands, at least with your feet.

I obediently gave the doll a few slaps in the face, then, raising the hem, kicked the hard bag - the toes of my bare and already rather dirty foot howled.

“Hmm,” said Hole Punch. - As expected.

He kicked the mannequin with his elbow, which caused the unfortunate effigy to spring almost to the ground, went to the weapon rack and handed me a small ax with a splintery handle.

“Beat,” he repeated.

– Why don't I ruin the bag?

- Spellbound. Bay.

I began to torture the bag with an axe. The straw rustled, the skin boomed, the sack was motionless.

“Kunyach shit,” stated the sergeant. Let's try with a sword.

We tried with a sword, and a club, and a long stick, and a spear, and a small rusty penknife, but not folding.

The knife was the luckiest of all: on the tenth or so stroke, the dummy lightly waved a bunch of straw from the hole.

“It’s still a goon,” said the Hole Punch, “but at least something, although, consider it nothing. What skill do you have? The one you got from Vosh?

Andrey Polyakov (Rybak): We can draw and policeman - March 27, 2012

Sport
Society

Zenit

March 27, 2012, 16:39

Discuss Sunday of the match "Zenith" - "Rubin" stirred up the football Petersburg. For the second day in sports circles, this protest of fans against the actions of law enforcement agencies is being discussed. What happened at Petrovsky and how it could end, Andrey Polyakov (Rybak), one of those who created the banner, which became a bone of contention, told Fontanka.

- Andrey, tell us how the whole conflict started.

- In fact, his background is at the beginning of this season: even before the February match with Benfica, all the premises of the so-called fan club in the stadium were suddenly sealed. And there were kept the front banners of the fan turn ("St. Petersburg", "Our name is Zenit" and the logo "1980" - the year the movement was born), flags, a drum, a trumpet. What we need in the sound and visual support of the team. It was unexpectedly proposed to put it in the stands, and, apparently, to sit there all day before the game and guard. But you remember what the weather was like. On the day of the game, suddenly look for people who will sit and guard ... We were given time - we were warned 6 hours before the match. We tried to speak, but no one heard us.

- And from whom did you receive such an offer?

- From the Ministry of Internal Affairs. They claimed that it was from this room that fireworks and pyrotechnics were carried to the stands.

- Apparently, this is an attempt to combat what happened last year at the match against Cypriot APOEL, when the game was stopped twice due to smoke?

- There are definitely echoes of this.

- Who specifically initiated this?

- To be honest, I don't know their last names. All I know is that this is not a club. It was the requirement of the Ministry of Internal Affairs. Now they say that it was necessary to write some kind of statement, but we wrote it on Krona (Landskrona is the unified website of Zenit fans. - Ed.). It did not cause any noise or resonance.

We started moving everything before the game to another room. Although the fact that the fan club was sealed up was already absurd... This room cannot in any way make it easier to carry pyrotechnics to the stands. .. All the people who go to the sectors go to the stadium, and not to the stadium's treadmill. We haven't been let in for a long time. Categorically. And we go through security in the same way, we show all the flags in the same way, we unfurl banners in the same way as ordinary fans. Last year, at about the beginning of the year, they suddenly said sharply: nothing can be carried through the treadmill. There are no questions, we, like all people, officially entered the sectors. So there is no way to catch the connection with pyrotechnics.

Well, before the game against Rubin, we were banned from the performance made for the match. In fact, he was still preparing for the Kuban, we just didn’t have time to finish it for certain technical reasons. We moved it to the game with Kazan, since it is not tied to any of the matches. The club knew perfectly well what kind of performance it would be, I won’t tell you the details, since we want to raise it at one of the matches.

However, now the police say that we did not provide it for approval in advance. Moreover, the versions from the Ministry of Internal Affairs come out very different - yesterday in the program "Football Capital" it sounded that their fax was faulty and they could not see what was shown there. I can say unequivocally that the day before the match, I personally sent a color sketch to the security service of Zenit. However, in the morning before the game, we were told: you will not have any performance. This was told to me personally.

- By the police?

- Yes. Moreover, the junior officials began to carry out this order so zealously that they even forbade carrying ordinary banners that hang on the bars. They say that performance is prohibited, any, and by this word they understood any banners that will be at the game with Rubin. I had to find Dmitry Sedov (an officer of the public security police who has been working at football matches for many years. - Note ed.) and explain the situation, so he solved this problem. But I decided at the first checkpoint, and in other places I had to prove and explain to the police all the time that performance was not allowed.

- How many people and for how long did they work on a performance that was never shown?

- We made it for about two weeks, maybe a little more. People... in different ways. There were several stages. 30 people participated in this.

- How was the decision made to leave the stands, and who made it?

- The decision to leave a match is very difficult. Whoever says that we are engaged in narcissism ... we must live this life. But there was just a hopeless situation. We hoped to the last, continued to work on the banner, because it takes more than an hour just to fix the inscription. And we were sure that everything would be settled, because there was nothing criminal there.

I would like to clarify: the point is not that we were forbidden to raise some kind of pictures, but that the police establish their own laws in the stands and do everything according to their own ideas.

By the way, the version that we did not have time to submit an application, which is voiced today, is far from the only one. There were other statements: why draw an incomprehensible person-fan, it is better to draw a football player.

- Did that also come from the police?

- Yes. I replied that, probably, we ourselves should figure out what we are going to draw. Once again, they tighten the screws out of the blue, although we had more serious things than a performance that was not allowed to the stands ... and we burned enemy ships, and fortresses, and chopped off the dragon's wing. There is a certain style, genre. So what is happening now is just something personal or revenge. Perhaps because the pyrotechnics were burned again before this match. When it became clear that there would be no performance, we got together and called the leaders of various leading groups. No one said that we were leaving and that's it. First, they outlined the situation to people. Such an idea arose, and it was realized, by our standards, by 100 percent. It is clear that people could react differently, but the majority made a decision.

- I saw that some people were left on the fan turn .

- Yes, no questions. The 15th sector remained mostly. Perhaps loners, to whom the information was poorly conveyed. Some, apparently, did not understand and did not want to leave, because everyone is leaving. But in fact, the percentage is very large. It’s not that I’m happy about it, but at least it didn’t result in another split.

- Ordinary fans say that they left the team.

- Of course. But from ordinary fans, something else sounds. There is LBZ (Zenith Fans League. - Ed.) "Offsight" - there I heard words of support. Here we need to understand: what could we do differently? Someone offers to write letters - in my opinion, a very weak position. Someone says that it was necessary to chant the whole match, humiliating the Ministry of Internal Affairs. In any case, someone would be unhappy. The problem is that no one can hear us. If now we have been banned from performing, what will happen next, how can we fight? Come and disrupt matches? But this, I think, is really a detriment to the team, deprivation of points. Or go out, as Spalletti suggests, fight the police? It seems to me that he probably does not understand our realities a little. How to deal with the police - did we have to take to the streets?

It is clear that there is still an attitude of people who do not accept fans, and in any situation they will judge us. But we did what we did - tried to draw attention to this problem. By the way, the match inspector from the Russian Football Union said that everything was fine with the performance. He didn't have any objection at all. He stated that it is not at all the prerogative of the Ministry of Internal Affairs to resolve such issues. But it turned out that the Ministry of Internal Affairs decides, and no one can understand why. After all, there is a club that monitors everything, punishes those who violate the order.

- There is a Football Association that organizes matches...

- Yes. What should the police do? Protect citizens. And instead she wants to look at the drawings and decide what we will raise, how we should draw, what to draw - a football player or a fan. In general, next time we can draw a policeman for them. It's not difficult for us.

- Is there any response from the Main Directorate of the Ministry of Internal Affairs and the hope that something will change for the next game?

- Judging by the fact that they are now coming up with excuses, perhaps something will change. I was ready to give our performance to them yesterday, and we want to use it on one of the games. Yesterday they said that we are unorganized, although our departure from the stands showed that there are no problems with this. But if the problem was precisely in the untimely agreement, then it’s good - we are submitting another performance application for the next match. So, this time, nothing should prevent them from allowing us this performance.

- That is, the game with CSKA will show what the problem was?

- Possibly yes. Although this performance is already so exhausted ... But we will raise it, no matter what. True, we had an idea for the match with CSKA, a sketch was already ready, we were ready to prepare another performance this week, but now changes are not ruled out. We want to show people that there was nothing terrible there.

Mikhail Goncharov, Maria Tsygankova, Fontanka.ru

Photo: Maria TsygankovaPhoto: Maria Tsygankova

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