What is social emotional

What Are Social-Emotional Skills? | Child Development Skills

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What Are Social-Emotional Skills? Social-Emotional Skills: Know the Basics Social-Emotional Abilities Social-Emotional Tips Social-Emotional Activities What to Watch For

What Are Social-Emotional Skills?

Social-emotional skills are essential for connecting with others! They help us manage our emotions, build healthy relationships, and feel empathy.

Some examples of social-emotional skills in use are:

Recognizing if someone is sad, and asking if they’re ok
Expressing yourself with your friends in a different way than with your parents
Understanding your thoughts and feelings, and being able to relate to others

While these skills may sound complex, social and emotional development begins at a very young age.

Watch to see more about baby's social-emotional development:

Social-Emotional Skills: Know the Basics

When does social and emotional development begin?

Babies start learning these skills from birth! As soon as they begin interacting with the people who care for them, they begin to develop an understanding of feelings.

How do parents impact social-emotional development?

Parents help to nurture social-emotional skills so kids develop healthy relationships with friends and family members. Even as a baby, your little one is picking up on how you respond to their social and emotional needs. They feel safe at home and in your presence. They learn how to empathize, respond to the emotions of others, and say “I’m sorry” by following your lead.

What do social-emotional skills help kids do?

Kids with healthy social-emotional skills are more likely succeed in school, work, and life. Social-emotional skills help kids:

Make friends and keep friendships
Gain confidence
Resolve conflicts
Manage stress and anxiety
Learn social norms
Make appropriate decisions
Resist negative social pressure
Learn strengths and weaknesses
Gain awareness of what others are feeling

How long does it take to develop social-emotional skills?

Social-emotional growth takes time. Early experiences with family, caregivers, and peers greatly impact social and emotional development, but throughout our lives we will continue to be shaped by our experiences! These experiences can include meeting new people, overcoming difficult situations, or even raising children.

Social-Emotional Abilities

Is your child meeting their social-emotional abilities?

Be on the lookout for these abilities as your child grows. They are encouraging signs that your child is making progress in their social and emotional development.

Developing social-emotional skills can boost your child’s confidence and help them succeed in school, work, and life.

Missing one or two abilities should not cause alarm, as every child develops differently. However, if they are missing multiple abilities, be sure to talk with your healthcare provider.

Social-Emotional Tips

What you can do to help your child's social-emotional development

Be a model of the emotions and behaviors you want your child to show. You are your child’s first teacher and they look up to you as a role model.
Be responsive to your child’s emotions and behaviors. Responding will help to develop trust between you and your child.
Ask open-ended questions, such as “What would you do?” to help develop problem-solving skills.
Use stories to talk to your child about different social situations and how each person might be feeling.

Encourage kids to try new things and learn how much they can do.
Play games to teach kids how to take turns, win and lose, share, and negotiate. Ask yourself these questions when choosing a game for family game night.
Ask your child questions when they are upset. These questions can be about why they are upset, or offering alternatives to understand the root of their unhappiness. For example, “Would you like to brush your teeth or take a bath first?”
Sit with your child when using a screen (not recommended before 18 months) and make it a social activity, e.g. asking them questions or playing turn-taking games.

Social-Emotional Activities

What to Watch For

How to address social-emotional issues and delays

The sooner your child receives help in developing their social-emotional skills, the better off their health and well-being will be. Your healthcare provider may be able to help you address the issue or refer you someone who can help.

Here are a few examples of specialists who may be able to help your child:

Child psychologist
Social worker
Neuropsychologist
Psychiatrist
Occupational therapist
Speech-language pathologist
Developmental and behavioral pediatrician

Visit Understood.org or Child Mind Institute for more information and resources on social-emotional development.

Fundamentals of SEL - CASEL

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SEL can help all young people and adults thrive personally and academically, develop and maintain positive relationships, become lifelong learners, and contribute to a more caring, just world.

We define social and emotional learning (SEL) as an integral part of education and human development. SEL is the process through which all young people and adults acquire and apply the knowledge, skills, and attitudes to develop healthy identities, manage emotions and achieve personal and collective goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain supportive relationships, and make responsible and caring decisions.

SEL advances educational equity and excellence through authentic school-family-community partnerships to establish learning environments and experiences that feature trusting and collaborative relationships, rigorous and meaningful curriculum and instruction, and ongoing evaluation. SEL can help address various forms of inequity and empower young people and adults to co-create thriving schools and contribute to safe, healthy, and just communities.

What Does the Research Say?

SEL makes a difference. We know this from the research, which demonstrates that an education that promotes SEL has a positive impact on a wide range of outcomes, including academic performance, healthy relationships, mental wellness, and more.

Dive into the research

The Impact of Social and Emotional Learning

What is the CASEL SEL framework?

For many, our framework is known as the “CASEL wheel. ” At the center are the five core social and emotional competencies—broad, interrelated areas that support learning and development. Circling them are four key settings where students live and grow. School-family-community partnerships coordinate SEL practices and establish equitable learning environments across all of these contexts.

Explore the CASEL Framework

How Does SEL Support Equity?

We are driven by a vision of all children and adults as self-aware, caring, responsible, engaged, and lifelong learners who work together to achieve their goals. SEL can be a powerful lever for creating caring, just, inclusive, and healthy schools that support all young people.

Learn more about SEL and equity

How Can You Speak Up for SEL?

The majority of students, teachers, and families agree: SEL belongs in schools. But when it is co-opted by political agendas, students risk losing out on an education that will help them succeed in school and in life. Now is the time for brave thinkers and tireless doers to speak up for SEL.

Resources to champion the facts

How does SEL connect to…

The COVID-19 PandemicMental HealthCivic LearningWorkforce Preparation

The COVID-19 Pandemic

SEL offers a powerful means to support one another during these challenging times by developing crucial competencies relating to empathy, resilience, and relationship-building that students and adults need.

Mental Health

While SEL and mental health are not the same, SEL can promote positive mental health in many ways, and should be incorporated in a system of mental wellness supports and resources.

Learn more about Mental Health

Civic Learning

Today’s dynamic and multicultural society calls on the next generation of civic leaders to develop strong social and emotional skills. Integrating SEL into civic learning gives students the opportunity to participate as caring and engaged community members.

Workforce Preparation

By aligning and integrating SEL and workforce preparation efforts, states and districts can promote the competencies and environments that will prepare youth to thrive and succeed in the workplace.

Learn more about SEL and Workforce Preparation

Social emotions: what are they and how can they be useful?

How many emotions can a person experience in a day? It is impossible to say exactly, because we are all different: someone reacts even to any little thing, and someone, on the contrary, is very restrained in their expression. We can only say for sure that nature has awarded a person with a unique ability to feel and perceive, realize and project everything that happens both in the soul and in the outside world.

Emotions are the colors with which we decorate our lives. Some are given to us from birth: children are born with the ability to laugh or cry. There are emotions that are acquired in the process of life, interpersonal communication, and we will talk about them in our article.

So, let's find out together what it is - social emotions, what they are, what is their role for a person and how to turn each of them into your ally.

Social emotions: what are we talking about?

Social emotions are a person's experiences of his attitude towards someone. In simple terms, these are emotions that depend on the feelings and thoughts of other people. They develop along with the ability to understand others, which is why they are also called emotions of social interaction.

A person is born with basic emotions: joy or sadness. To experience them, it is enough to be aware of your physical state when interacting with their source: the child involuntarily smiles when his mother takes him in her arms, and cries if he feels physical discomfort, for example, cold. In the process of the formation of the psyche and as the definition of his social role, a person begins to adhere to moral standards, learns to separate the bad from the good, to understand the feelings of other people, to project their state onto himself.

The development of social emotions occurs already at preschool age. The child in this period of life is open to the development of socio-cultural values, is impressionable and strives for recognition in society. Special attention is paid to the education of social emotions in children in preschool institutions, because how children perceive the surrounding reality and build relationships with other people largely depends on how new knowledge and skills will be acquired.

The level of development of social emotions in a child changes as the complexity of his relationship with the outside world. For example, children of primary preschool age can correctly identify only one emotion, which is a consequence of a particular situation. Older children are already aware of conflicting emotions, but only sequentially, and at older preschool age they can already experience them simultaneously in relation to something specific. Schoolchildren develop an understanding of what ambivalence is [E. Zobnina, Yu. Vasina, 2016].

Social emotions, like any other, perform important functions: they make you act, coordinate the body's response to changes in the surrounding world, regulate the perception of information, influence thinking, and sometimes prevent correct decision-making. But the paradox is that a person could not make any decisions at all if emotions were completely absent.

The story of Phineas Gage testifies that thinking is closely connected with emotions: an accident caused a malfunction in the frontal lobe of the brain, as a result of which his emotions became dull, and his perception of reality became different. According to scientists, people with such disorders usually lose their jobs, families and do not worry about it at all [J. Van Horn, A. Irimia, C. Torgerson, M. Chambers, 2012].

The manifestation of emotions in social behavior is an integral part of interpersonal relationships. The absence or misperception of social emotions can have a detrimental effect not only on those who experience them, but also on those around them. In the modern world, even communication on social networks is not complete without emotions in the form of emoji, and the phrase “Correspondence without emoticons means a serious conversation,” which has come into common use, is another confirmation of the above.

What are social emotions and what is their use?

Social emotions are diverse: some make you flutter with happiness, others can destroy inner strength as if at the snap of a finger, and still others can cause damage not only to the one who is their source, but also to other people who have fallen under the “hot hand”.

It is generally accepted that social emotions are divided into two types: positive and negative. This division is general and often leads to labeling many emotional states. For example, society already on a subconscious level perceives guilt or jealousy as something very bad and destructive, but in fact, even a negative emotion can be beneficial if you look at it from a different angle and learn how to control it.

There are also higher emotions that are attributed to social feelings, such as love, compassion, humanism, devotion, the significance of which is not necessary to speak, but even they require efforts from a person, because none of them just appears and is not congenital. All of them are the result of child-parent relationships, interaction with others and work on oneself.

Next, we will give a detailed description of some social emotions, tell you how they can be useful and how to make sure that you control emotions, and not they control you.

Guilt

Guilt is a feeling, a negative attitude, a belief that a person is the cause of other people's failures and troubles. It is accompanied by self-doubt, aggression, lack of love for life. Feelings of guilt can arise from severe stress or be imposed from the outside. Psychologists say that, despite the negative characteristics, it can be useful. In particular, guilt helps to better survive what happened: a person spends much more resources if he focuses on a traumatic situation, because. its realization and processing requires more inner strength.

It is believed that the feeling of guilt can also arise at the unconscious level, for example, in an infant. But in the process of the formation of mature thinking, it becomes a way to manage both one's own worldview and other people.

You can recognize this feeling by several features:

Speech often contains the phrases “Sorry for interrupting!”, “Forgive me, please!” etc.
Presence of the attitude “I do not deserve a happy life”.
The presence of aggression both on oneself and on other people.
Feeling a painful state of anxiety [E. Lebedeva, 2019].

If you have found these signs in yourself, it's time to take advantage of it. Guilt is the regret that something was done wrong. It causes tension, repentance, and according to existential philosophers, in a state of repentance, one’s own self is determined. This situation starts active work: a person begins to reason about what he really should have done, even if nothing can be corrected. But it is this kind of introspection that becomes the beginning of good deeds.

This emotional state helps to gain an understanding that the world is not perfect, and all people make mistakes sooner or later. Having survived it, a person begins to treat his life and the actions of other people less critically [S. Krivtsova, 2021]. By the way, the very process of getting rid of guilt can help you become stronger morally and spiritually, teaches you to better understand yourself and your feelings.

To get rid of it, experts recommend to do the following:

Analyze the people with whom you most often feel guilty. Analyze if there are similarities between these people, do similar situations happen to them?
When you realize that you are starting to worry, listen to your body, your inner feelings. Understanding one's state at such moments will teach one to manage them in the future.
Remember that the situation has already happened and it is no longer possible to return the time. Allow yourself to make mistakes, remind yourself more often that the ideal world and ideal people do not exist, and the pursuit of the ideal leads to neurosis.

Awareness of feelings of guilt is a great chance to learn to think with your head and turn off emotions that often lead us into a direction that is not easy to get out of [E. Lebedeva, 2019]. If we talk about a rational reaction when a person was actually harmed, then in this case guilt is a powerful motivator to correct the situation. It is worse when, after the deed, the offender feels comfortable and does not understand the emotions of his “victim”.

Awareness of guilt helps a person sincerely repent and receive forgiveness, after which rational pride is formed that he is a good person, living in accordance with the norms and moral values of society [V. Maksimov, 2021].

Pride

Pride is a socially determined emotion that implies positive self-esteem, understanding of one's own value, self-respect. Pride is often confused with pride - arrogance and vanity, but these are two completely different concepts.

A person can be proud of any achievements, deeds. This feeling helps to grow wings behind your back and motivates you to take even steeper heights. But in fact, not only the presence of pride is useful, but also its absence. Remember how you felt when someone hurt your pride?

For example, an excellent student was given a low grade for an exam instead of a positive mark - this situation will be a trigger for him to start acting differently, become even better and prove to the teacher that he did not appreciate the student's knowledge. Scientists have conducted research on this topic: they measured the feeling of pride in students and noticed that those whose pride was hurt by the teacher's low assessment began to prepare for the final tests differently. As a result, when retaking the exam, they showed high results.

A person can be successful in his personal life and career, have certain achievements, but still not feel like a winner. Awareness of vulnerable pride helps to reconsider life, one's actions and start moving in a different direction. It is important to notice this emotion in yourself in time and not develop it to self-abasement - feelings of self-doubt, disappointment, depression, helplessness, feelings when a series of failures makes a person think that he is not capable of anything.

Wounded pride leads to a series of actions that will help confirm the presence of skills and abilities. Determining what exactly you are feeling at the moment - hurt pride or self-abasement - is simple: ask yourself what you see as the reason for failure. If in an incorrectly chosen scheme of actions, in insufficiently applied efforts, i.e. in what is really correctable, it means that hurt pride speaks in you [J. Tracy, 2016].

Shame

We have already mentioned shame in the context of a negative experience, but this emotion can actually be helpful. Shame is the self’s response to wrong actions, the feeling that someone inside is strictly saying: “Don’t do this again! It's very ugly!" This emotion is quite insidious, because. tends to grow roots in the subconscious and appear where it is completely inappropriate. Shame can cause heartache and lower a person's self-esteem.

Shame can control a person in a positive way. For example, imagine a situation: a girl who has been working on her figure for many months and has already succeeded in this business suddenly breaks down and arranges a “harmful” dinner for herself. As a result, she became ashamed of her breakdown. The emotion was so vivid and memorable that she decided never to give in to temptation again.

Shame can motivate a person to productive actions, it is an indicative lesson for the future, it helps to draw the right conclusions and correct behavior. But if he makes you overreflex, taking away energy, or appears “out of place”, then here you need to turn off self-digging in time and turn on the mind.

To make the emotion under control, it is necessary to track the bouts of shame and be able to concentrate on it. It is important to understand whether this state sends a productive message. If yes, then you need to build a plan of action that will help get rid of it. Otherwise, it must be recognized that this emotion is of no use [D. Webb, 2021].

Empathy (compassion)

Compassion is one of the aspects of the emotional state when a person expresses his feelings about the experiences of another person or animal. The lack of compassion often leads to conflicts, problems in the family, because in difficult moments of life it is important for all of us to feel support from loved ones and see that they understand our real feelings at the moment.

Sympathy is often more difficult to experience in relation to oneself than to others, this is due to the presence of empathy, the desire to help others, while remaining more objective, unlike those who are in trouble. By supporting others, we feel closer to people, the pleasure of doing a good deed.

It is also important to be able to feel compassion for yourself, because it will help you get out of a spiritual crisis faster, but despair and anxiety often take precedence over common sense and do not allow you to do this. To learn how to show compassion for yourself, psychologists recommend the following:

Say out loud what exactly is the source of your anxiety. Summarize your experience in one definitive sentence.
Understand your feelings and remember them at the moment of manifestation. Surely you will feel deep disappointment in yourself, in the outside world and sadness.
Complete this phrase with the words "I have an idea that ..." For example, if the original version sounded like "No one needs me!", Now the phrase will look like this: "I have an idea that no one needs me ". Agree, in this wording, you no longer want to put an exclamation point at the end of the sentence.
Concentrate on the sensations you experience as you say this phrase. Feel the tension gradually go away.
Add to the previous phrase "I notice that..." For example: "I notice that I have the thought that no one loves me."
Speak the last version of the phrase and listen to your emotions and feelings. Do you feel like you're talking about someone else?

This technique will help you choose words of support for yourself, get rid of negative emotions and quickly return to a resourceful state [M. Smolenskaya, 2021].

Envy

Envy is an emotion that arises when a person lacks superior qualities or wishes others did not have them. It is generally accepted that envy is a negative emotional reaction, but in fact, any social emotions and feelings signal something to us and it is important to decipher this signal in time in order to direct it in a constructive direction.

Envy is divided into "white" and "black". The first is easy to recognize, because it speaks of admiration for someone and the desire to match a specific example. "White" envy is a great motivator, you just have to find an inspiring example and believe in yourself. Such an emotion is useful for both parties: a person from whom someone takes an example increases self-esteem and self-confidence.

Everything is much more complicated with "black" envy. Society condemns this feeling and does not accept those who experience it. Some are convinced that "black" envious people can interfere with their well-being and therefore deliberately do not flaunt their lives, limit themselves in anything, believing that living better than others is wrong. In some cases, envy can hurt when it comes to intentional harm. Envious people can go for it, because. in such an emotional state, admiration is repressed and the boundaries of what is permitted are not felt.

In fact, if you learn to manage envy, it can be an excellent navigator to achieve your goals. This emotion indicates to a person suppressed needs, repressed desires, which for some reason were written off in the “unrealizable” section. If you feel that “black envy” is beginning to absorb you, you must, first of all, stop justifying yourself why you don’t have those benefits that attract so much in another person, and even better - make emotion your ally:

Admit your envy, even if it's difficult: This step is where you start working on your emotions. You can determine whether you are envious or not by the following signs: you want to have what others have, but for some reason this something is not available to you, while you do nothing to have the same thing as object of envy.
Examine your condition: determine what exactly you envy and whether it really has a high value for you. Often there is a substitution of concepts, for example, a person may envy the owner of the car and begin to dream of such a material value, although it is not at all about it, but about the desire to gain independence and self-confidence that the car owner possesses. As soon as the true desire is deciphered, it is necessary to analyze what prevents it from being realized. As a rule, we are talking about beliefs, internal criticism and prohibitions.
Get rid of the inner critic: special exercises that you can do yourself will help you with this. If you cannot do it on your own, seek the help of a psychotherapist. It happens that the inner critic turns out to be stronger than the desire to overcome it, but this is not a reason to give up: find several options for achieving the goal that will not force you to scold and critically analyze every step.
Thank envy for pointing out important things to you: any emotion performs a certain social function, even when it comes to negative feelings.
Take action: now that you have done a lot of work on yourself, the main thing is not to deviate from the path. Make a plan of action and take the first step [L. Chizh, 2021].

This is a powerful algorithm that has proven itself in practice. Try it out and see the results.

Gratitude

Gratitude is a multifaceted concept. This is both a set of emotions that a person experiences in response to kindness, and a way of expressing gratitude for what he has. This is not about the everyday "Thank you!", Which we say on the machine, but about the state of mind. Experts say that gratitude can improve health, because. it strengthens the immune system, stimulates metabolism, etc.

People who kept a “gratitude journal” noticed after two weeks that they got rid of insomnia and high blood pressure. And subjects with severe chronic diseases, in particular, with heart failure, after a similar practice, observed an improvement in heart function. This is evidenced by numerous studies of scientists.

The feeling of gratitude helps calm the nervous system, resist the temptation of "instant gratification", i.e. blocks the negative impulse, which is the basis of many bad habits. According to experts, gratitude pacifies impulsive behavior, triggers self-control and makes a person appreciate the future [A. Didenko, 2018].

Many people say that gratitude is the opposite of envy, and it’s hard to argue with that, because it gives rise to other positive emotions, directs attention to happy moments in life, makes you distract from bad thoughts, get closer and even take a different look at people who previously evoked negative emotions. For example, try to remember a person you don’t like or someone you hold a grudge against, and then write down what you can be grateful for. Do you feel like there is no trace of anger left?

Gratitude is about the ability to share kindness, which affects personal growth and self-esteem. If you want to learn how to be grateful, start paying attention to the little things every day and keep a journal in which you write down the good things that happened to you during the day. Express your gratitude to the fullest: instead of a dry “Thank you!” emphasize the efforts of the other person, highlight their positive qualities and make it clear that their act is valuable to you.

Jealousy

Jealousy is a combination of emotions and feelings that a person experiences with a lack of attention, love from someone else. It is generally accepted that this is a negatively colored reaction, characteristic of insecure individuals and owners of a whole bunch of complexes, but in fact absolutely everyone can experience it, the main thing is that this emotion is not pathological.

According to experts, jealousy occurs when a person feels deceived, feels fear and ceases to be safe. It can escalate into anger when attempts to maintain one's position in the relationship fail [K. Izard, 2008].

Jealousy generates aggressive energy, which the jealous person directs to prevent loss. This emotion originates in social processes, and one can be jealous not only of the object of adoration, but also of a friend, colleague, in a word, of any person with whom there is a certain connection. If a person begins to experience fear of losing a soul mate and anger at the same time, this is an occasion to analyze the relationship and their behavior in particular.

The surest step in such a situation is to make jealousy your ally, and not to bring yourself to destructive behavior. If you feel like a feeling has taken you by surprise, take a break and analyze what happened. Identify your feelings, understand who you are really angry with. Pay attention to the reaction of the partner, this will help to understand which boundaries (internal or external) have cracked.

Jealousy is a strong emotional state that pushes you to sort things out with raised voices. A calm heart-to-heart conversation will help sort out the situation. Treat jealousy as an issue that needs to be resolved through joint efforts [K. Kukoleva, 2021].

The ability to manage your emotions will help you turn them into a tool to strengthen the union. Jealousy can be a partnership game in which both parties aim to add color to their relationship. This is a radar that indicates that you really care about your partner and that there may indeed be certain difficulties in the relationship that you should pay attention to.

No matter what kind of jealousy a person experiences (justified, anxious or pathological), it is necessary to find the primary source of the emotion, because the cause of its appearance can be not only a third person who violated the boundaries of two people, but also problems from childhood that gave rise to low self-esteem and fear of being abandoned.

In fact, there are a lot of social emotions and their list is not limited to those that we talked about in our article. Each of them is a specific indicator that you need to be able to decipher, otherwise it will be blown by the wind without becoming a trigger for specific actions that can help a person to know himself and move on to the next step in personal development.

Resume

Social emotions are an integral part of human life. Every day, like small light bulbs, they light up in each of us to tell about something important. At such moments, we choose for ourselves: to make the light bulb brighter, dimmer, increase the voltage so that the glass eventually shatters into small pieces, or turn it off altogether.

The way a person shows his emotions is his social characteristic. The ability to express sympathy, to be grateful or to grip jealousy is not only about self-control and the ability to manage one’s own Self, but also about special thinking that helps to move in the right direction, analyze the situation, make informed decisions and find innovative approaches to difficult tasks. And our online Cognitive Science program will help you learn more than 20 thinking techniques and understand how to apply them correctly in life.

We wish you only positive emotions and good mood!

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Keywords: 1 Cognitive science, 1 Communication

Social emotions - Psychologos

October 01, 2022, 21:48

child's interaction with children and adults.

In addition to social emotions, there are natural emotions (for example, adaptive and anchored emotions) that mediate human interaction with the natural environment. In a dangerous situation or when you need to chop wood - a person is excited. When we need to deal with a problem in arithmetic, we introduce ourselves into a calm state and do not twitch. We change our functional (emotional) state so that it helps us in solving life problems.

Social emotions and feelings are mostly not innate, but learned emotions, however, some of the emotional reactions that babies had from birth, over time, begin to be used by the child to solve problems of social interaction, become arbitrary and social. Adults teach children those states that are convenient and interesting for adults, children master those states that most effectively protect them from their parents or allow them to control their parents. It is interesting that if you do not control the situation, these will be primarily negative emotions - parents are led to them the easiest way. At the age of 3 to 7 years, children successfully master the emotions and states of children's culture, such as shyness, fatigue, boredom, resentment, confusion, frustration, tantrums, despair, horror ... When it is beneficial for them, children learn to get sick.

The emergence of social emotions is described by the theory of social psychoanalysis of emotions and the cultural-historical theory of the development of feelings.

Social emotions

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