Teaching my son

31 Lessons to Teach my Son before I Die


I was thinking the other day about the man I hope my son will one day be. I was imagining him with the qualities I hope he acquires.

And then I wondered if I was adequately teaching him the traits I envisioned him having. A sense of urgency to be sure the lessons are taught while I’m still here to teach them swept over me.

This is the result …

1. Life doesn’t dictate your attitude. But your attitude dictates how you’ll experience life. Changing your attitude will always be the shortest and most permanent route to changing your life.

2. Love and forgive. The degree to which you are able to truly love as an expression of your character, not merely as a feeling, the more you will be willing to forgive. The more you are able to forgive, the more you will be free to love. They go hand-in-hand.

3. You won’t want to go through life tied to your own history, to the mistakes you’ve made, the former people you’ve associated with, the problems of the past. So don’t hold others to theirs.

4. Learn to laugh at your own mistakes, mishaps, imperfections and ego. Everyone else is anyway. And you will eventually. So why not do it preemptively in real time?

5. Invest regularly in your own human capital, in the development of your ability and talents, in your knowledge and education. Learn every day. Don’t rely exclusively on formal modes of education. Learn on your own. Get excited about it. Read. Study. Challenge yourself. Develop. Improve. There will be no investment that pays greater dividends. Remember, opportunity is a byproduct of ability and ability is the residue of knowledge put to action. So skimping on knowledge circumscribes opportunity.

6. Control your thoughts. They are pregnant with the rest of your life. (<– Tweet this)

7. Be loyal to your friends. Be deeply loyal to your family. Be fiercely loyal to truth.

8. You are an amazing creation of a God who knows and loves you. You can therefore rise to any height you’re willing to climb. You have the potential inside right now, as you are, for something so much more than most people settle for. So don’t settle. The greatest views in life are from on top the highest mountains. The highest mountains are those that are climbed the least often by the fewest people. Climb the highest mountains. Even if you don’t reach the summit, the view from halfway up is better than from the bottom of the mountain you never started climbing.

9. Be sure people always come before things. Never let your family be the sacrificial lamb you place at the altar of other pursuits.

10. Happiness is the natural consequence of living your life consistent with the universal principles upon which a happy life is predicated. While there certainly is subjectivity in happiness, there are objective conditions that must be present in the happy life at its highest form. Discover those universal principles of happiness, work at consistently living by them, and enjoy reaping some pretty amazing results.

11. Always be true to yourself so you never feel the need to be false to anyone else. (<– Tweet this)

12. The mind is sacred ground, so treat it that way. Take only worthy things into it. Reject that which corrodes and corrupts and demeans and dirties. Treat your mind like a sponge that never releases its liquid, whose very fibers are stained with the color of its thoughts. The mind will absorb whatever you feed it; It will retain the filth as much as the noble. So fill it with those ideas, thoughts and images you would want to have reflected in the mirror of your life. Because over time, it will be.

13. Cultivate wisdom, lead with compassion, learn with humility, act with courage.

14. Seek to love more than be loved and you will be loved much more than if you seek it directly.

15. If you put God first, everything else will fit into the right place at the right time and in the right amount.

16. The greatest battles you will ever wage will be on the battleground of your own soul. We are dual-natured. We have noble impulses and ignoble ones. Feed the noble and starve the ignoble. That’s a battle you must win. Your happiness and self-respect rely on it.

17. Make the things that matter most in life the things that matter most in your life. Limit the time you spend spinning your wheels in the sand of the unimportant and trivial. And never let the important derail your pursuit of the most important.

18. Passion comes as much from how you approach the work in front of you as in the particular type of work that happens to be there. Cultivate passion for what you do. It transforms it into something you love doing.

19. Remember to regularly check the oil in your car, the batteries in your flashlight and the integrity in your character. (<– Tweet this)

20. The easiest way to love what you do is to do what you love. The second easiest way isn’t too bad either. It’s to get really good at doing it. Competence tends to breed passion. And passion makes work something less like work and more like fulfilling a life-mission. Not a bad way to go about making a living.

21. Never do in private what you wouldn’t want the public to find out about. And these days, they’re likely to find out anyway. Someone will likely Facebook it by the end of the day!

22. Live life like it was the only one you were going to get and like it mattered how you lived it.

23. Character is a much more accurate voice exclaiming who you are than popularity, personality or status. So let your moral character speak so loudly no one can hear the gossip spoken about you by lesser minds.

24. Do what matters most first. Then, if you run out of energy, time or means, you will at least have accomplished the things that matter most – which is more than most people will be able to say.

25. Procrastination is the best way to make bad things worse and good things bad. (<– Tweet this)

26. Beware the thistles of Pride and Selfishness. But never confuse them with the blossoms of Confidence and Self-respect. Root out the former and water the latter.

27. In relationships, two halves never make a whole. They only make two broken halves desperately clinging to each other in the vain hope that by virtue of the union, they become complete. Don’t look for an incomplete half to fix. Bottomless pits of need never make very reliable friends or spouses or parents. Look for a spouse who will make a great parent to your future kids. Date with that in mind. You will never marry someone you don’t date, so don’t date someone you would never marry.

28. You have a moral duty to discover the principles of happiness and work at applying them throughout your life. You will be a better spouse, a better parent, and closer friend a more neighborly neighbor, a kinder employer, and better employee and citizen for doing so.

29. If you can’t sing, sing anyway. If you can’t dance, dance anyway. Life is too short to be concerned with what other people think of your song and say about your dance.

30. Let patience be your first response, kindness be your first reply, courage be your default setting, faith be your first inclination, curiosity be your first question, perseverance be your longest answer, gratitude be your spontaneous condition and love be your first, final and only method.

31. And finally, my dear son, know that my heart will always be filled with you. I will be a part of the fabric of your life because my thoughts will have been taught, my example will have been seen and my love will have been felt your whole life. And while my words and example and love will have been flawed, they will have indicated a way of living, of thinking and believing, even if imperfectly, that I hope illuminates a path that entices you to the greatest adventure you will ever have.


  • What’s on your list of lessons you would want to teach your son or daughter?
  • It would be awesome if you would share your thoughts in the comments below.

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Photo by me (me and my son last year)

13 Things to Teach Your Son Before 13

Parenting expert Dr. Meg Meeker says we should parent our boys with an image in our minds of what we want them to be like at age 25. My son is 12. Many of his current qualities will serve him well at 25: his kind heart, his witty humor, and his ability to play a mean game of ping-pong. But he has other qualities that won’t go over too well in the life of a 25-year-old man: his inability to get his dirty clothes into the hamper instead of on the floor, his reluctance to do his chores instead of putting them off for “later,” and his tendency to act before thinking.

So while he’s a wonderful boy, he’s still working on learning the lessons that will make him a really good man. If you’re raising sons (or a son), let me share some of the lessons I’m trying to teach him, the 13 things to teach your son before 13. And, believe me, even when my son turns 13, we will keep working on these things. Still, it’s good to have a clear path laid out when our boys are young.

1. How to express himself.

Talk to your son one on one. Engage him in conversations and help him put words to his feelings. My wise uncle put a list of banned phrases on his refrigerator when his son became a tight-lipped teen: “I don’t know. I don’t care. Whatever.” These conversation avoiding words were banished.

2. How to work hard.

Being able to work hard isn’t just good for our sons’ futures in the working world, it’s good for their self-esteem now. A job done well makes a boy feel capable. So give your son the opportunity to see a project through, on his own, from start to finish.

3. How to be a good sport.

Even the best athletes, the smartest students, and the cutest guys will all find themselves on the losing end of things eventually. Explain to your son what it means to handle wins and losses with humility and grace.

4. How to control his temper.

Boys come by their combustive reputations honestly, their testosterone makes them more inclined to have anger issues. Start by teaching your son that, ultimately, he has to be the boss of his anger and his actions.

5. How to take responsibility for his actions.

Lay the groundwork for this lesson by teaching your son that actions and choices have consequences. Help him see that when he chooses to act a certain way, he must think ahead about what those actions will bring. Then, teach him that he must be ready to take responsibility for his actions.

6. How to help others.

Revive chivalry by teaching your boy to help without being asked. Encourage him to be on the lookout for those who might need his help. Praise him when he does open a door for an elderly person or he picks up something someone has dropped.

7. How to be kind to others.

A recent study found that boys can be as mean as, well, mean girls. Teach him that he needs to be aware of when good-natured teasing has crossed the line.

8. How to manage the online world.

It’s not just pornography our boys need to learn to resist, it’s the risk of being on their devices 24/7 while life and opportunities pass them by. Set limits for your son’s screen time and explain to him why you’re doing it, so that when he’s in control of making his own choices in this area, he’ll have the information he needs to make good choices.

9. How to take care of himself.

We don’t want our sons to be that roommate in college who’s a huge slob. We want our boys to know how to clean, cook, and care for themselves. That means they can do their own laundry, make their own doctor appointments, and grocery shop for themselves.

10. How to talk to adults.

Good manners and an ease with others don’t come naturally to most boys. Teach your son to have a firm handshake, to stand when a woman or older gentleman enters a room, and how to have a basic conversation. When someone says, “Hello”, he’s to say hello back while looking them in the eye. If they ask, “How are you doing?” He should answer and then ask them too. It’s little things like this that will help your son navigate the adult world smoothly.

11. How to be strong.

Teach your son the importance of being a man of strength—strong in his convictions, strong in his dependability, strong in his faith. Give him the tools to make him feel strong and able. A good place to start is by building up the right kind of self-esteem.

12. How to be his own man.

Yes, every boy wants to be liked, but he must learn that it’s more important to act according to his own beliefs and values. Just because the crowd is moving in one direction, doesn’t mean he has to. Teach him that being his own man can be difficult, but it’s worth it to live a life that is true to who he is.

13. How to have faith.

Faith is the cornerstone of life. Guide your son in the forming of his faith, just as you do in the forming of the other traits you want him to develop. You will not always be able to be there for your son; a strong faith will be his compass as he chooses his direction in life. (Not sure how to shape your child’s faith? Here are five ways to get started.)

What else are you trying to teach your son?

1 Corinthians 4:17 - 1 Corinthians 4:17

1 Corinthians 4:17 - 1 Corinthians 4:17

1 Corinthians 4 chapter » 1 Corinthians 4:17 - Bible study, text analysis.

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Comparison of translations: 1 Corinthians 4:17 /

1 Corinthians 4:17

on the Russian RU Belarusian BY Ukrainian UA English EN German DE Greek GR filter


Synodal translation SYN

For this I have sent Timothy to you, my beloved and faithful son in the Lord, who will remind you of my ways in Christ, as I teach everywhere, in every church.

New Russian translation NRT+

That is why I am sending you Timothy, my dear and faithful son in the Lord. He will remind you of my lifestyle in Jesus Christ, which I teach everywhere, in every church.

Modern translation of RBO RBO-2015 +

Therefore I sent Timothy to you. He is my beloved son, faithful to the Lord, and he will remind you of how I follow Christ Jesus in my life, according to how I teach it everywhere, in every church.

Edited by Kulakov BTI

For this reason, I sent Timothy, my beloved and faithful son in the Lord, to you to remind you of my way of life in Christ [Jesus], as I teach everywhere, in all churches.

Bible League ERV ERV

That's why I sent Timothy to you. He is my dear and devoted son in the Lord, and he will remind you of my life in Christ Jesus, as I teach throughout every church.

Modern translation WBTC WBTC

That's why I sent Timothy to you. He is my dear and devoted child in the Lord, and he will remind you of my life in Christ Jesus, as I teach it throughout every church.

Translation Ep. Cassian CAS

Therefore I sent Timothy to you, who is my beloved and faithful son in the Lord: he will remind you of my ways in Christ, as I teach everywhere, in every church.

Word of Life RSZ

That is why I am sending you Timothy, my dear and faithful son in the Lord. He will remind you of the principles of my life in Christ Jesus, which I teach everywhere, in every church.

Translation Desnitsky DESP

That's why I sent Timothy, my beloved son, faithful to the Lord, to tell you how I follow Christ Jesus. That's what I'm explaining throughout every one of the churches.

Open translation OTNT

That is why I am sending you Timothy, my beloved and faithful child in the Lord. He will remind you of my ways in Christ - as I teach everywhere, in every community.

Hebrew New Testament ENT

That is why I sent Timothy to you, my beloved and faithful son in the Lord. He will remind you of the path of life that I follow in union with the Messiah Jesus and that I teach everywhere, in every congregation.

of the Russian Bible Center RBC

For this purpose I have sent my beloved son, faithful Timothy to the Lord. He will remind you of my principles—how to live Christ Jesus. This is what I teach everywhere in every church.

New Testament RBO 1824 RBO-1824

Christ. For this I have sent and to you Timothy, my beloved and faithful son in the Lord, who will remind you of my ways in Christ, as I teach everywhere, in every church.

Parallel references - 1 Corinthians 4:17

1 Cor 11:16; 1 Cor 11:2; 1 Corinthians 14:33; 1 Cor 16:1; 1 Corinthians 16:10; 1 Corinthians 4:15; 1 Cor 4:2; 1 Corinthians 7:17; 1 Corinthians 7:25; 1 Thessalonians 3:2; 1 Thessalonians 3:3; 1 Tim 1:2; 2 Tim 1:2; 2 Tim 2:2; 2 Tim 3:10; Acts 19:21; Acts 19:22; Col 1:7; Col 4:9; Eph 6:21; Mt 24:45; Mt 25:21; Mt 25:23; Numbers 12:7; Phil 2:19; Proverbs 13:17; Rev 2:10; Rev 2:13.

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Comments - 1 Corinthians 4 chapter

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Read "I teach my son" - Karinti Fridesh - Page 1



- If twelve cubic meters of beech firewood burns in nine ovens in five and a half days, how long will it take to burn nine cubic meters of beech wood in twelve ovens... If in nine ovens...

I am sitting at my desk and reading something. I can't concentrate. From the next room for the thirty-fifth time I hear the same phrase.

What else is there for beech firewood? .. We'll have to intervene.

Gabi is doubled over at the table, chewing on the tip of a pen. I pretend I didn't come here because of him at all and rummage through the bookcase. Gaby looks sideways in my direction, and I furrow my brows, as if thinking hard about my own, and pretend not to notice him. I know what he is dreaming about now; to myself, I stubbornly, mechanically repeat: "If nine kilometers of beech ... twelve cubic meters ... how many stoves then ..." What nonsense! Stop, how is it?

I pass by my son as if nothing had happened, I stop as if I had just noticed him:

- Well, son, are we studying?

The corners of his lips crawl down.

- Daddy...

- So what?

- I don't understand...

- "I don't understand"? Gaby! How can you say that!.. Didn't they explain it to you at school?

- They explained, but only...

Clearing my throat. I speak dryly and aloofly:

- Well, what don't you understand there?

Gabi hurriedly and with relief starts chattering:

- Look, papa, if twelve cubic meters of beech firewood burns in nine stoves in five and a half days...

I angrily:

- Boo-boo-boo! . . Do not chatter! .. So you will not understand anything! .. Read it again calmly and carefully, and then everything will become clear. Come on, move over...

Gaby moves happily in her chair.

He thinks that I have no idea of ​​the joy with which he concedes to me the great honor of solving a problem... He doesn't know - how could he know that? that more than twenty years ago the same scene played out between me and my father; I happily and relieved gave him my place at the table, and he, frowning angrily (like I am now), helped me solve the problem ... And the most amazing thing, it suddenly flashes through my mind, was that then we were solving the same damned problem! .. Yes, yes, there can be no doubt! .. Beech firewood and stoves! My God! And then I almost understood this problem! ..

In an instant, I am transported back more than twenty years. How was it all?

- Look, Gaby, - I say deliberately calmly, - you just need to think carefully. Use your brains, not your tongue! Well, what don't you understand here?. . After all, everything is simple and clear, like God's day... Even a first grader will solve this problem, if he thinks for a minute. Look... It is written here that so many beech firewood burns in nine ovens in five and a half days... Well? What is not understood here?

- I understand that, daddy... I just don't understand what proportions are here: the first is reverse, and the second is direct, or the first is direct, and the second is reverse... Or maybe both are direct or both are reversed?

I can feel the roots of my hair getting cold. What kind of incomprehension is my son muttering about some proportions? What could it be? How to urgently find out what these damned proportions mean?

I raise my voice:

- Gabi!.. Talking again! Is it possible to think of something like that? You have to move your tongue, that is, vice versa ... What is reverse, direct, again direct or reverse again ... Some kind of rubbish! .. You thunder like a Jericho trumpet, I don’t understand anything!

Gabi bursts out laughing. I yell at him:

- Stop laughing! For this, perhaps, I teach you, I suffer with you! .. All because you are inattentive in the lesson ... You don’t even know ... you don’t even know ... - I look at my son with extreme surprise, as if I suspect him of something terrible. “After all, you probably don’t even know what proportion is ?!

- How do I not know?.. Proportion, proportion... this is such a ratio of two quantities in which the quotient of the internal numbers corresponds to the product ... to the product ...

I throw up my hands:

- Well, what did I say!.. The guy is fourteen years old, but he doesn't know what proportion is!

Gaby's lips crawl down again:

- Say what?

- What would I say to you? Wait, scoundrel!.. Immediately take the book and repeat the rules thirty times in a row... otherwise... I don't know what I'll do with you.

Gabi, cowardly, grabs the textbook and hastily reads:

- "Proportion is such a quantity, two real terms of which relate to two others like . .." Tell me, dad, which real terms are here: cubic meters of beech firewood and the number of days or the number of stoves and beech firewood?

- Gibberish again? Give me the textbook! - And I explain with all the impressiveness: - Listen, Gaby, don't be such a dumbass. After all, everything is clear here, like a sunny day. See how easy it is. Well, look here. We are told that in nine ovens so many beech firewood burns in so many days. Thus, it is quite clear that if so much beech wood burns in so many days, then in twelve days not so much wood will burn, but... .

I'm starting to get angry:

- Don't interrupt, I can't... you can't understand. Listen! If so much and so much in nine days, then in twelve days, say, so much and so much more. But, on the other hand, sorry, this is not so much more, since we were given not nine ovens, but twelve, therefore, so much less, how much more ... that is, we have so much more, how much less. .. Here's your proportion... proportion.

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